This is not going to be my best blog ever, just letting you know. That’s because I have just come out of one meeting and in between organizing the last details of the Carnival Sunshine naming ceremony I have just had a two-hour meeting with someone who can only be described as ……………ummmm……………boring. The person who was leading the meeting is excellent at his or her job but bloody hell……he or she really is boring. Even if they had just been abducted by a naked space alien with three eyes and a 22 foot long thing who had said “take me to your leader” in a French accent..…he or she would still tell that storing in such a boring way. The meeting this morning was indeed so boring that I wished I was a horse so I could fall asleep standing up. I wish I could have found an excuse not to attend this meeting but when certain beards find out I am in Miami they like to schedule a meeting with. In the old days I would have found an excuse, I used to be really good at that but as I got older I got more responsible ………bugger. I have been thinking about my early life at Carnival recently and you will see why later in the blog and I remember one excuse I used. (more…)
News from the Hyattintercontinenalmarriott where I am staying here in Miami and where it seems they change the bed sheets twice very seven days. No, not just mine, everyone’s. I know this because I asked someone. I asked the maid first and she smiled and said “Si, si” which is Spanish of course for “I have no idea what this fat gringo is saying to me.” So I asked the front desk and they said they changed the sheets twice a week. Now I asked this not because I had left vast amounts of pubic shrubbery on them but because I had just broken in some new sheets which had become soft and comforting and yet last night I was again sleeping between two brand new sheets which were as stiff as Tiger Woods at the Playboy Mansion. (more…)
November 4, 2013 -
John Heald -
So I am back from my trip to New York and, as always, it is a city like no other. New York is totally extraordinary. The whole city seems so diverse, from the mix of culture to the brilliant people, places, bars, restaurants, architecture, the men and the women…. everybody is different, everyone is loud and everyone is in a hurry. New York is simply…….wow. I have never seen a city with more restaurants than New York. I can only imagine that no one cooks in Manhattan and that if I were to go and inspect apartments and houses in New York City and examine the cookers in these homes, the very vast majority would still have the instructions inside and they have never been used. (more…)
October 30, 2013 -
John Heald -
The lunch hour is dead here at Carnival Cruise Lines. Yep, I have been here a few days now and I can honestly say that no bugger takes an hour away and heads out for a nice lunch. In fact, I would say, from what I have seen, the average lunch break is just 30 minutes. Forget shopping and a visit to the local sushi restaurant. Everyone here is eating at their desks, continuing with work or surfing Amazon and maybe this blog……all Latvian web sites have been blocked …….. I wonder why? (more…)
I took my daughter Kye to school for the first time last week. She is only four. The process, though, has started. It was both heartbreaking and sort of exciting to walk Kye up the path to a place where I would leave her behind from 9 am – 3 pm…..but, ultimately, forever as she starts to make her way in the world under the guidance of Miss Newman, Mr. Barton and, indeed, guidance other than that of my wife Heidi and I. (more…)
I thought you might like to see what our guests experienced these past 15 days on our amazing trans Atlantic voyage on Carnival Legend.
My thanks to Martin, our videographer, for his great camera work. So sit back and let’s go to Greenland.
GREENLAND……………..WHOEVER NAMED THIS PLACE WAS HAVING A LAUGH………. BUT GOSH, ITS BEAUTY IS ABSOLUTLEY EPIC
October 4, 2013 -
John Heald -
It’s quite comical, really. You see, Carnival Legend has, these past few weeks, docked in ports we have never been to before such as Oslo, Edinburgh, Belfast, Reykjavik and others. In all of these ports, we have been met with wonderful hospitality and upon arrival and departure, there have been locals who have come to see the famous “whale tale” that is Carnival Cruise Lines. But here is the comical bit. Every time I spoke to our ship’s agent or some local people or the local entertainers and mentioned how nice it was to see people coming to take photos of the ship, they all said the same thing: “You should have seen it when the Queen Mary 2 was here, hundreds, maybe thousands, came to see the ship!”
When planning this trans-Atlantic crossing, there were two difficult concerns I faced– what entertainers to choose and what movies the guests would enjoy.
I based my decisions on both those categories on the average age being 73 and knowing that they probably would not enjoy a Bon Jovi Tribute Band, a balloon animal act, The Fast and The Furious 27 or Saw 32, I went with entertainers and movies that were, I thought, more suitable and so far……………touch wood…………..why is there never any wood around when you need some……bugger….hold on….where’s my Latvians in suspenders calendar………..ahhhhh, there it is…………ok, that’s the wood touched…………so far, there have been no complaints about either. (more…)
So here we are, three days into the trans-Atlantic crossing, and we will be talking a lot about this over the next few days here and on Facebook, I am sure. And today I want to start by talking about books. Now I have done ummmm……….ummmmm……..bugger me………..I have no idea how many TA’s I have done but it’s a heck of a lot. Some, I don’t remember, some I do. There was one on Carnival Freedom where I was tormented by one guest who looked like Rodney Dangerfield, one on Carnival Liberty with a huge GI outbreak that certainly wasn’t fun, and one on the Carnival Splendor that was amazing because we had 16 days of glass-like water as we crossed the pond, it literally was…….. a pond. (more…)