Hello to you all from Southend On Sea in England.
This is going to be a short blog because I am on vacation – sorry, holiday – and I have a cup of tea and a crumpet waiting……………………….I will take a photo of a crumpet and post at a later date.
I will not be answering posted comments today or tomorrow but will play catch-up over the weekend I promise.
My flight was uneventful except that it was on a “budget airline” and I have not seen as much plastic since I watched the Miss Universe Contest. It’s funny but when an “extra medium” sized man such as myself walks down the isle of an aircraft it causes people to look away as if to say “Please don’t put the big guy next to me.”
Today I got my preferred aisle seat and sat next to a man called Guido who was flying to London for a job interview. He started this conversation because he wanted my advice on the best way to get to the West End but luckily we were interrupted by the in-flight safety announcement. It’s strange but even in today’s world the amount of people who talk and completely ignore what the stewardess says is extraordinary. I guess because I hope that people listen to my lifeboat drill announcements that I will always pay attention to what is said on aircraft. Anyway, after the safety announcements and the eventual takeoff, I felt that Guido wanted to become my best friend and would have talked my head off for two hours. I know it was rude of me but I put on Heidi’s MP3 player she had given me and completely ignored him. After five minutes, the battery died and not wanting to become Guido’s satellite navigation system I pretended that the music was still playing and every now and then bobbed my head up and down in time to imaginary music. I arrived at the airport and went through Immigration and Customs and, in my mind, was secretly hoping that some very rich and sympathetic blogger had arranged a brand new Aston Martin to be hired for me. I had even looked this up and found a website that does do it http://www.aston-hire.co.uk/ and, as I walked into the arrivals hall, I looked for an Angelina Jolie look-alike who maybe would be holding a sign that said “John’s Aston Martin – This Way.” No such luck.
I went instead to the car hire desk and I was given a “luxury car” which looked like Yoda from Star Wars. I just about have enough room to sit behind the wheel but if the air bag goes off there will not be enough room between me and it to make any difference. Anyway, at least it has air conditioning because it’s 80 degrees in England today.
So, I arrived home and it is great to see my Mum and Dad. I was welcomed with two big hugs and a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich, the perfect homecoming.
I am going to stay with my parents tonight as we have had some problems with our apartment. Heidi and I have a beautiful apartment by the sea. Well, when the sea is in. Because of the tides, sometimes we have a beautiful apartment by the mud.
I digress. Last month, the apartment above us had a pipe burst and this caused water to flood down three of our living room walls and in the kitchen. It ruined my plasma TV and we have decorators, insurance assessors and the like working on it now. Rather than stay there alone, I am staying with my Mum and Dad tonight so I am not alone and I get a cup of tea in bed tomorrow. It will be strange sleeping there, as I have not done so since I was 19 and left to work for Carnival.
Tonight, for dinner, my Mum cooked me roast beef and Yorkshire pudding……I had seven and have no intention of checking my sugar level tonight!
Tomorrow, I am meeting my mate Alan and will take a photo of my breakfast, etc., for tomorrow’s blog. Then I will be seeing my niece and nephew and family and a quiet night in after that.
I am very proud of Heidi. She has told me all has gone well and the guests are asking about me, which is nice, as well. Heidi and I hate being apart but we both understand that there is nothing more important than family.
So, I am off to bed to dream of my luxury car which as I type has stopped looking like Yoda and now seems to look like Camilla (Prince Charles’ wife).
As I am talking about cars, a quick story which I know many of my colleagues always enjoy hearing.
When the Carnival Leg End was in Harwich UK — which is just 40 minutes from where I live — I had a special car for two days. It was loaned to me by a very good friend called Spencer who I miss very much. Spencer had lent me his FERRARI 360 SPIDER which I proudly parked by the gangway. Everyone, especially the Italian officers, of course, all wanted to sit in it and I refused all kinds of bribes to allow them a drive.
The only person who I said yes to was a man who has been one of the foundation posts of Carnival’s success, Maurice Zarmati, Carnival’s vice president of sales. Maurice is known throughout the industry. He is quite a character and a real gentleman. Maurice told me he was thinking of buying a Ferrari and could he have a drive. I said yes. How could I refuse such a man as this?
In we got with Maurice behind the wheel. He started up the V12 400 BHP engine, selected first gear and away we went turning out of the pier and started our drive through the port of Harwich. After a few moments Maurice looked in the mirror and alarm spread across his delicate features as he saw what I saw in the wing mirror, a blue flashing light and the siren indicating the port police were behind us and were not happy.
Maurice looked at me as he began to pull over. “Was I driving too fast? I thought I was only doing 30,” he said as he applied the brakes. “Yes,” I replied, you were doing 30 miles an hour……….but unfortunately you were doing 30 ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. ”
I will write again tomorrow.
Goodnight
Your Friends,
John and Heidi and tonight, goodnight also from Mum and Dad
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Lucky you! Yorkshire Pudding is a big favorite of mine that my British friends make once in a while. It’s very hard to stop at 1 or 2….in fact I don’t stop until I just can’t eat any more! They make it with a Lamb Mince…yum! Enjoy your time with the parents.
John,
Don’t beat yourself up about your weight. You are a very handsome gentleman. As a matter of fact, I think you should have your picture redone on the website. You are much nicer looking in person. I too, have difficulties with plane seats. I for some reason keep eating when not hungry . I mostly eat heathy foods, but too much of them and at the wrong times. Hopefully I will get controll of myself soon. Getting back to you, Heidi saw a beautiful mad, both inside and out or she wouldn’t have married you. Have a good rest.
Cindy Bruce
John:
Don’t worry about checking your blood, I’ll check mine an extra time for you (like that would work) .., have fun at home, kiss your Mum an extra time for a memory later on and enjoy!!!
Vikki
John,
When Guido asked you how to get to the West End, you should have told him, “Practice, practice, practice”.
I also love the mental picture of you bopping along to a dead MP3 player. I don’t know about the UK, but here in the “colonies” we have “air guitar” contests where people play imaginary instruments. Maybe you could enter an “air Ipod” contest!
have a wonderful vacation!
(I’m still waiting to hear on what happened with Jess!)
How blessed we are to have mom and dad to go home to. Enjoy your time. Debbi
Juanito:
I agree with Cindy, and yes that is not your best picture. Happy Birthday to your Mom!
Heidi: Now you are solita
Hopefully you’re enjoying your time with mum. It’s always great to go back home and see family and friends.
What’s the story on the garbage crisis in Naples? Have you heard any passengers discussing it as being a problem during their tours in the area. We don’t come until the end of June so hopefully it will be resolved by then because I sure don’t want the smell of garbage to be the impression I get from Naples.
John -
Trust me, it is not the you who is to blame. Apparently, the airline seat has decided that thinner is better and went overboard on its diet.
Jon
Hi Mr. Heald. I hope that you are enjoying a short visit with your parents. I was amazed when you mentioned about the problem you had a your villa. MaryLou and I had built a brand new home. A week before we were preparing to move in, the water pipes both blew and water was flushing throughout the house and into the kitchen, dining area and tv area. Since it wqas a new house everything was destroyed to the tune of 10 grand. We hadn’t even moved into the place. We cried for a while but eventually we settled and fixed everything up and then moved in. It was tough situation but made us stronger, but it was a little tough for a while. That was my little story. Sorry for wasting your valuable time but as soon as I read your story, It all came back to me. Rest with your family and I’ll be looking forward to the blog when you come back to the Freedom. Say hi to Heidi for me and it seems that she is taking good care of the ship while you are gone. Ciao.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Enjoy the break…….YOU deserve it!!
I love that part of the country……reminds me of the countryside where I live in Melbourne, Australia! Except in your neck of the woods, there are no Roos!!!
John,
Your mom is beautiful. Loved the picture. Please wish her a very happy birthday. She and your dad must be thrilled to have you home, even if it is for a short visit.
Mary & Randy
John – glad you are having a much deserved mini vacation.
John – glad to see your having a much deserved mini vacation.
John – glad to see you got to see your family and have a couple of relaxing days, enjoy and see you soon!
John – glad to see you got to go home for a couple of days, enjoy the time with your family and relax.
Morning John,
Welcome Home!!
sitting here also having a cup of tea and making crumpets for my son.
The weather in ThorpeBay /Southend is beautiful at the moment, will take a walk down to ocean beach later for a nice glass of wine.
looking forward to seeing u again on the Freedom Aug 5 ( 19 of us) we have managed to catch u a number of times, last two years on the liberty and a few times in the usa. Always enjoy everything about our cruise.
Last year some of children in the group were celebrating passing their school exams, it was so funny hearing you try to wake my 16 year old son up to congratulate him and his friends during your morning breakfast show!!
Anyway want keep u any longer keep enjoying the view hope your apartment gets sorted soon, |I’ll give you a wave from the beach, Will you be back on the freedom for 5 Aug??
take care
Michellex
Sorry for all the replies, I guess my computer is sick.
Hi John & Heidi
I have recently started reading your blog and I have to admit…it’s great entertainment!!!! I just have a quick question for you guys…My husband and I are coming from Canada to join you on the Freedom for the June 6th sailing and we couldn’t be more excited! We were just wondering if you knew the age groups that are going to be sailing with us..We are 24 & 25. We are also going to be celebrating my husbands birthday while on the ship..maybe we can have a drink together..yeah I know..a diet coke for John…
We look forward to seeing everyone soon!
Crystal and Jeremy
Hi John,
My father requires dialysis 3 times a week. Are there any cruises, or cruise lines, that offer this service? We live in the San Francisco Bay Area. We would like to take a family cruise, but his dialysis treatment is a must. He heard that some cruise lines offer this service for dialysis patients.