John Heald's Blog

It was around 11:30am yesterday afternoon that I new something was not quite right. Now before I continue writing some of you may want to skip the next few lines but as we are friends I feel I need to tell you everything.

I was in the middle of my travel talk for Venice when I started to feel a little strange. My stomach was sounded like some Tibetan Monk was chanting inside it. Anyway, I ignored it carried on and after my talk and Q and A I went for lunch. I had a Caesar salad with chicken and went back to work.

After lunch I returned to the blog and then at around 2:30pm it started…………there was no warning………..just that feeling and that was me sprinting to the toilet as if someone had told me they were handing out free Aston Martins in the bathroom.

This was an action I was to repeat 7 times yesterday accompanied by many chances to sit down and read a book a friend of mine had given me the day before. I had a fever and I can’t remember feeling worse…….except for the time Fatima stuck that plastic tube up my …..Anyway, I was not in a good place.

Heidi of course looked after me but I was a miserable sod especially as I could not go and introduce the shows and host the Captain’s parties…….I think that is the first time I have ever missed those……………..it made me feel even worse.

Now, some of you may be thinking that I had norovirus but the doctor assures me it was food poisoning as we have had no cases of noro onboard this cruise (touch wood) . So, what caused it? Well, the Doc said it sounded like it was something I would have eaten in the last 12 hours probably from breakfast or from lunch or dinner the night before. We then discussed what the first thing to come up was…………………..LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE EASILY ………WELL………..THIS AIN’T PRETTY.

As soon as he said that I knew exactly what had caused me to do a Bon Jovi impression in front of my toilet………….CAESAR SALAD WITH CHICKEN……………………..AND ANCHOVIES. Certainly there was lots of green during my first deposit and therefore I suspect that one of those cute little fishy things were responsible for my wailing and screaming in front of the god of porcelain.

I didn’t sleep much last night but today I feel much better and I had a banana and toast for lunch and am having chicken soup and a turkey sandwich for dinner. Of course, as I have learnt over the last year or so that being diabetic I need to really watch my sugar levels when I am sick, they are a little higher than usual but so far have been ok.

The only aftereffects of my night of hell are sore ribs from squirming around like a breakdancer on the bathroom floor and my head which feels like a dozen Frenchmen are holding a party in there……………..oh yes, and I ruined my favorite shirt

So, where was I when I was so rudely interrupted? Oh yes, I was about to tell you about my day in Naples which I will do I promise shortly but first the news.

Today in Dubrovnik we docked for the first time in three calls and it was a great relief to do so even though I think we got the tender distribution down to perfection. The weather changed as well though and all though it was a beautiful and glorious sunny day it was a chilly start with Heidi returning to the cabin for a jacket saying it was only 66 degrees outside. The temperature did reach 89 by noon but you can tell already that changes are coming.

Just after sailing from Dubrovnik this evening I was called to the bridge. This was strange because we had only just left the pier and as I waited for the elevator (there were stairs but following last nights bathroom fun I couldn’t face them) I heard the thrusters go on and that meant just one thing. Upon arriving to the bridge my theories proved to be correct as we headed back to the pier to disembark a lady who had reported to the infirmary as we sailed. Such was her condition that the doctor felt it necessary that she disembark via an ambulance to take her for immediate medical attention ashore.

So back we went and I let the guests know what was happening. As usual the starboard side of the ship was lined with hundreds of guests anxious to see what was happening. I know I have said this before and I understand the curiosity side of things but I just cannot understand why, when the stretcher was carried down the gangway and onto the ambulance the flashes of cameras were popping as though Catherine Zeta Jones was doing a belly dance on the pier……………….I just don’t understand that bit.

Anyway, and more importantly we all hope this lady will make a quick recovery and I will keep you and the guests here informed.

What else………….oh yes. Here are some wonderful comment from a guest which arrived yesterday via e mail……….luckily Heidi did not show it to me otherwise I in the state I was in I am not sure I would have responded within company parameters.

Good afternoon,
Please see attached guests’ comments

Thank you and regards,

Daniela

Purser’s Office

Cabin _______ – Drinks on embarkation should be free

Mrs. Irving brought Carnival Cares comment card with following comments:

- Disappointed: embarkation day Sail away time – 2 hr complimentary drink party like all other cruise companies
- Cruise Director – your show last night was juvenile to the extreme and I do not understand why so many people were laughing except the clientele on Royal Caribbean are obviously of a higher standard I hope the entertainment gets better. Why is the show tonight about the Beatles because on Royal Caribbean they have an ice show, why don’t you?
- Décor – Ugly best describes the artwork.
- Food – The people who run your Deli need to come to Brooklyn because your sandwiches are no match for the ones from my hometown
- Staff – Compared to Royal Caribbean very bad as all Royal Caribbean boat staff speak English.

I will come back to this comment later…………………this by the way only after 2 days of the cruise!

The glorious Queen Victoria has completed her sea trials and here is one of the first photos of her at sea.

Here are some more photos
1. A beautiful sunset taken today in Dubrovnik.

2. Dubrovnik’s coastline

3. Dubrovnik again

4. The Old Town

Here are the letters for the “In Their Own Words Section”

Regarding today’s Q and A. It’s amazing how things back up when you are out of order for just one day. Therefore and with your kind permission I would like to ask that you allow me to answer just specific questions as I have 77 on my desk and I want to get this bog posted ASAP. If you don’t see yours answered please post again on this blog as I will return to answering every question and every comment from tomorrow……………………..I hope you understand.

I am going to start these tomorrow in fact before we arrive to Venice after the Morning Show and Repeaters parties as I feel very tired from yesterday’s prayer session in the bathroom ……….oh by the way, Heidi really looked after me and she slept on the sofa partly because she knew I would be up and down all night and because the last thing she wanted to do was listen to both my ends all night.

Wasn’t that nice I hear you say………….yep………………until just now when I was informed that she had a sore neck from sleeping on the sofa and that was my fault and its Thursday and her neck is sore so etc. etc…………….so that’s me back in the doghouse and honestly this is one Thursday I can’t manage. Pierre and his friends are still partying in my head, my ribs ache and the though of any physical exercise tonight doesn’t bare thinking about …………….anyway, have a good night and I will write more tomorrow.

Good morning again. Well, I slept well and there were no evacuations during the night and the only thing that woke me was the sound of Heidi doing the lady snore thing……….the light gentle snoring followed by the smacking of the lips as if she had just finished eating a rather nice meal.

So, let me start with the Q and A and again apologize for not answering …..well ……as above.

LFTTNSFCF – I wanted to start with you and to apologize for cutting you off so rudely but it just so happened that the 1st movement of John’s first Sickphony in C minor occurred whilst answering your question………….please take no offense but that really is true. Returning to the 28th. I think you should just relax onboard. You have a busy day the following day and taking a tour may not be the best way to go after a long flight…………just a thought. You have a brilliant tour the following day in Rome and that will be a highlight as promised. Heidi loves mugs, always has and she particularly likes ones with place names or areas on them but really it is not necessary. See you soon, it is getting close now and best to the Mrs.
MARILYN VISCHIO – Did you get everything sorted? Let me know if you have any further need of help and I will see you in January for the Bloggers Cruise…………it will be the best cruise ever. Oh, by the way, my favorite episode of Fawlty Towers is “Communication Problems”…………reminds me of so many people I have met on the ship.
CAPT. CHUCK – What was the question that didn’t get posted Captain? Please let me know. I know these are difficult times with your Dad so please also know that Heidi and I are thinking about you. Hope to hear from you soon.
SHERIFF ROSCOE P COLTRANE – Happy birthday mate. I hope today’s birthday brings you and Flash a wonderful day and I wish I was there to shake your hand and take you to a Waffle House for some smothered, covered and chunked……….which by the way you could have had in my bathroom two nights ago. Anyway, hope you are well and staying safe and come on….one more time…………..are you ready.
Bad boys bad boys
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you
Bad boys, bad boys
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you
M@ & RT – Hello, I don’t remember typing your name in before so welcome to my blog thingy. Let me answer your questions starting with the photo of the Carnival Triumph in rough seas. There has been much speculation that this was photoswapped or photothingied or something was done to change it…………….I can tell you that this is untrue. I was onboard as were 2,900 guests and 1,000 crew. The Captain was Salvatore Rassello and he and I were on the bridge when the Canadian Coast Guard plane flew over us and took the photo they later sent to the ship. Nobody was hurt and the ship was an as strong as 1000 Oxes or one Fatima (see previous blogs) as she ploughed through the heavy seas. You also mentioned about booking dinner reservations and how to do it. When you book a cruise through an agent or through Carnival you can request which dinner seating you want and although not guaranteed we always do our best to try and accommodate you. Obviously, the quicker you do this the better so let me know if you are still unsure. If you have booked a cruise and are due to leave shortly I will try and see what seating you are on. I hope this helps and I will be here as and when you need help. All the best to you and your family.
LINDSEY B – You asked if I will be on a ship leaving from the USA anytime soon. The answer for now is no except of course the Bloggers Cruise which will be on January 19, can you come?
DIVETRASH – Your question concerned the IS managers onboard. Well this area is completely foreign to me but without their assistance this blog would not be here today. We have four I/S people onboard who are in charge of the up keep of all the computers and there are:
Personal computers for Officers and Department Heads = 145 systems. This of course goes along with the running of the mainframe thing and other computer systems onboard. Now, you mentioned the Internet Café which strangely, is not under the charge of our I/S Managers but operated by one of our partners, MTN. This company operates the satellite systems for the majority of the world’s major cruise lines. I noticed that you felt the Internet Café Manager needs to be there more often and I agree totally and I can tell you that fleetwide we have made changes to allow for more assistance in the Cafés. Now, as for the smoking element on the Conquest class ships, you are correct that you must pass through the cigar bar to get there and I know for some that is not a pleasant experience for which I apologize. Anyway, I hope this answers your questions and I see you are counting down the days to the bloggers cruise which I make 127 days to go…………..yippee.
MYRA BUSHNELL – I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing crest you designed and which I have used at the bottom of today’s blog thingy. I want to thank you also for allowing me to share in your website and in your wonderful years of service you gave your country during the Vietnam conflict. I can see how proud you are and I am even prouder that you took the time to design the crest. I wish you and Myra all the best Scott and many thanks for everything mate.
THE BEARS – CARL AND BARB – Great news which we all were so happy to share with you ………the cancer has not returned and for now as you said you can breath again and continue to live your life as you will. Please let me know how the surgery goes and as always we will continue to pray for you. Be strong and Heidi and I will always be here for you.
LANCE AND ILDA – A Bordeaux is a Claret!…………..what would you like your breakfast tray made from, teak, mahogany, oak……………..I mean if I guest isn’t singing Oh What A Beautiful Morning At The top Of Their Voice I think…..Oh, there’s another guest whose snuffed it during the night. I mean this is a hotel not the Burma Railway…………….Is this a piece of your brain? …….Manuel, there is too much butter on those trays …………non, non, Senior ….not on those trays……….uno, dos, tres! Those are my favorite lines from Fawlty Towers along with hundreds more.
PEANUTS – If the Pistons beat my Heat then I will personally go and have another Turkish Bath with Fatima and I will take Shaq and Dwyane with me !
BIG ED – Alan has assured me he will be sending you a photo ………stand by.
KEVIN – Your question was a tough one to answer but I have to go with the DB9 Aston Martin or maybe a Bentley GTC. The Bentley is what the “top dogs” are driving these days including the RAP stars, Hip Hop artists, Sports Stars and George Hamilton. Don’t make a decision until you have test drove all of these and think of me when you do so mate.
RIKKI BOYCE – You are correct I missed one hero from my list of seven ………..oops and the one living hero I missed is the one and only George Hamilton whose dark tanned looks, Rolex watch, Bentley GTC and the fact that he is constantly surrounded by gorgeous women make him my American Idol.
Thanks for pointing this out mate…..I hate math’s.
SHARI – You asked if I would still be on the Carnival Freedom on January 5 but I am sorry to say that indeed I will not be, I actually join on the 12th to prepare for the Bloggers Cruise but fear not because you will have a great time. The Cruise Director for that week will be Todd, who will make sure you have a fantastic time I promise. Hopefully next time we will be able to share in some fun together. I certainly hope so.
DWA76 – If seeing me in a dress makes your day I think you need help mate:) I hate that dress and when I stop doing this job I am bequeathing it to you. All the best David.
LINDA – Nothing yet but I am sure it will be here soon and thank you for thinking of us. I will let you know when it arrives. Hope all is well Linda and we miss you here.
JOHN MILLER – You asked who your Cruise Director will be in January on the Holiday and I am happy to tell you it will the incomparable Steve Cassel. In fact, here is the CD schedule for the rest of the year which I thought everyone might enjoy reading so you can find out who is where. John, if you (or any other blogger) have questions about the Cruise Directors please let me know. Thank you for your kind words and all the best mate.
Cruise Director Schedule
SOUTHERN DREAMS – One can only imagine the distress that the chemotherapy treatment is causing you but yet through all the obvious pain your passion for life and your outstanding sense of humour shines radiantly through. We are all proud of you, we will see you in October and we will have the best cruise ever……………….we will…………..promise. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers always.
GREG BALDASARRI – Greg, please can you send me your cabin number and date of sailing for the Carnival Conquest mate.
SEWING NUT – What a beautiful story about your son, you must be so proud of him. Jami has some photos so can you send me your address (just mark it to Roberto’s attention) and she will send them to you. I hope your son had a special day as team leader and if he ever needs another medal let me know.
NANI – Don’t worry Nani your package will be here soon and I am so grateful that you sent us something. As for my Spanish person who was mad at me speaking English….where was he from……………..I am sorry to report ………….Miami. Yep, I saw him today at the Coffee shop as I was getting my Tea and he was still quite upset that all the shows etc were in English. I asked him “eh dande ustedes “……….he replied De Cuba…….something…..then he said “Miami”……….anyway I apologized as best I could to Mr. Herrero and I will send him a gift later as I feel inadequate that he can’t understand me or what is happening etc. So, how are things in Puerto Rico and one day please can you give me a Spanish lesson? Much Hugos.
RAY McTEAGUE – Hello Ray and what a great question………….Ray asked “does the management have a turnover before they leave the vessel.” Well Ray the answer is yes they do. Let me give you two examples. When I eventually leave the ship (sometime in 2090) just kidding…………….the new Cruise Director, Todd Wittmer will board the vessel one week before. During this time I will explain all of the ships functions and operations as well as discuss the personalities and abilities of the Entertainment Staff. We also discuss safety procedures and then port specific information. A new Cruise Director will make whatever changes he or she deems is needed and although most CD’s come on and say “I am not going to change anything “the nature of the beast means that they indeed will. Now, as for a position like Chief Engineer, well the turn over there lasts much longer as the complexities of the technical operations of the vessel are massive and usually a two or 3-week handover is sometimes needed. I hope this answers your question and if you can think of anything else please let me know. Cheers mate.
PIGLET – What a cute screen name. I was so sorry to read about your Aunt and her battle with kidney cancer. How wonderful of you to think of taking her on a Carnival cruise next year to help her recuperate from the trials and tribulations ahead. You asked if I would be on the Carnival Freedom in March and as yet I don’t know my schedule for next year. As soon as I do I will make sure you know but regardless, book that cruise and I promise the rest, relaxation and fun that your favorite Aunty will need will be provided by the ship’s company. Many thanks for such kind and sincere words and our thoughts are with your Aunty.
PEANUTS – Congratulations to the girls of the WNBA……….shame the boys won’t do so well. LET’S GO HEAT………..and LET’S GO EAT………… (Feeling better now).
JOHN FRIEDMANN – Just a note to say welcome home…………..we loved having you both with us and I hope your memories will keep you going until the next time. We miss you.
DAVE AND JO MYERLY – The same to you both as above. It was so great to meet you and to see two people so much in love. Thank you for everything and please come back soon.
TERRY CENDEJAS – Welcome home to you and your family and I just passed your wishes to Aleks and Zoltan who were thrilled to hear from you. Get some sleep and then I hope you find some time to read the blog.
MARY ANN – I don’t remember typing your name before so I wanted to say welcome and also say a huge thank you for the beautiful and so kind words you have written today. I will see you soon and yes, I remember the Purser Elisa who did such a wonderful job, please send her my best. Now, you asked about the Vaporetto’s running later in the evening. They run all night until midnight when they run once an hour every hour from 1 am – 5 am when they become more frequent again. Many people do as you mentioned and stay in St.Marks past midnight, take the 1 am Vaporetto which leaves from the St.Marks and returns you to Piazza La Roma and from there it is a 15-minute walk or a shuttle bus (5 euros) will return you home to the Carnival Freedom. Hope this helps Mary Ann and I wish you all the best.
MICHAEL TIETJEN – You asked if I was on the Carnival Legend during 9/11. I was actually on the Carnival Triumph on that terrible day. As some of you have asked I have enclosed a link to a blog I wrote way back in March or April when someone asked me the worst time I could remember as a CD.here it is ………………less we forget.
http://johnheald.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/youll-never-walk-alone/
LAURA ZATZ – Thank you for reading the blog thingy Laura and thank you also for mentioning your friend and now assistant coach of the Detroit Pistons Terry Porter. I know he didn’t have much luck with the Bucks but I am sure he will take the Pistons all the way to the Eastern Conference finals where they will lose to the Heat.
Now, let’s return to cruising and the “five villages tour” I highlighted recently. This tour is brand new and won’t be available until the Carnival Freedom and Carnival Splendor’s 2008 season. A full description of the tour will appear soon on the Carnival website. We will see you in October and let’s chat personally about what tour will be best for you and your family in Livorno. Here is a look at what the Heat boys will be wearing in 2008.

DAYLE WITH A Y – Let me answer your questions mate……here we go.
1. I agree that renting a tuxedo onboard certainly means more space in the suitcases for souvenirs. We will without doubt have your husband’s size and any alterations will be done expertly onboard. It is a great option and one I highly recommend.
2. You asked what the latest time you can leave the ship in Rome is and the answer is 9:30am. By then, we have made last and final call and if you have private transportation arranged I would suggest you organize that for 9 am – 9:30 am as you are in no rush. I hope this helps you and if you need more questions answered I will be here for you mate.
KUKI – How right you were about those photos. It would be amiss of me not to mention how fantastic you and the Cruise Mates group were on the sailing after 9/11. It was thanks to your support that I was able to still provide guests with fun during those awful dark days. Thanks mate and thank you to all the people who sailed with me that week.
SUE GROHOL – I just checked with the Shore Excursion Department and they confirmed that Rome at its Best is indeed running on the 29th. Have you booked a ticket already? Now, as for the rest of the tours there really is no rush to buy as myself and the staff will be here to give you the best advice possible. Thank you for such a wonderful posting and we will see you soon.

That’s it for Q and A today. I will answer every comment and question starting with the ones posted from the blog Heidi wrote called Time at the Computer and then into the one with the interview about John Cleese.

May I just say thank you to every person who took the time to comment on the anniversary of 9/11. Your words were so beautiful and prove that the memories of those lost will live on forever…………………..thank you.

Now, a couple of things. I read an article which Roberto forwarded to me and now I can’t find anymore that said that my blogs were good but too long and that they sounded like a Carnival Commercial………..ROBERTO, PLEASE CAN YOU POST THAT ARTICLE MATE.

Roberto here – here’s the link:
http://www.smartertravel.com/travel-advice/eight-great-websites-every-cruiser-should-know.html?id=2418574

So, I have decided to post the guest interviews as separate blogs as we did with Mr. Cleese. This may take away a bit of the long windiness (that is a word) that I am prone to. Therefore, starting today any additional information such as interviews and my Mum’s recipes of which there is my favorite today, will be posted separately……………..is this ok with you?

Naples, ah yes, it was a beautiful day.

Heidi and I arranged to meet two great friends in Capri. Before I continue, I have to tell you, I cannot tell you who our friends are because they skipped work to be with us for the day. She (we will call her Mrs. Samsonite) works for a packing company while he (we will call him Mr. Woohoo) works in the wine, spirit and food industry. We met in Venice a few months ago and when we mentioned we would be in Naples they said they would both call in sick and come and meet us for lunch in Capri.

Heidi, being Heidi wanted to buy Mrs. Samsonite some flowers which meant trudging around Naples looking for a flower shop. Heidi , being from Holland meant that not just any flowers would do and each petal had to be checked and eventually we left, having spent a million Euros for half a Brazilian rainforest.

As we walked to the ferry, many Italian men looked at me as if to say: “Who is the big guy carrying those very pink and yellow flowers?” I felt very uncomfortable. The ferry ride over takes 45 minutes and Heidi and I enjoyed the fresh air as we and half of Japan sailed to this beautiful island. Once there, we were met by our friends and took an open top ride to the top of Capri.

You can take the funicular, however, do this only if you really want to experience Italian chaos at its best. I have to tell you that the restaurant we went to chosen by Mr. Woohoo was simply the best food Heidi and I have had in a long time and certainly some of the best in Italy. The table had an unusual centrepiece, a basket of fresh ripe juicy tomatoes which immediately takes your appetite to new levels.

Mr. Woohoo ordered tomato with mozzarella, a thin crispy pizza bread laden with more fresh tomato and prosciutto which covered a beautiful fresh melon. Just when we though this was enough, along came a big bowl of fresh salad with a wonderful dressing. Just as I was eating my 18th tomato and savoring the most gorgeous mozzarella I have ever tasted, a huge plate of freshly caught calamari arrived. Mrs. Samsonite and Heidi devoured this in seconds. The restaurant was quiet and it was one of those times that you totally forget that you work on a ship with so many people. And then the main course arrived.

A huge fish, freshly caught and although I can’t remember the name we will call him Rocco The Fish, I assure you he died for a good cause. Accompanying the fish was spicy shrimp and my goodness it was a feast to remember.

The service was the best I have received in Italy and it was though Heidi and I and our friends were famous. Talking of famous, the wall of this restaurant is full of photos of famous people, including; Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Barbara Streisand, members of the Swedish Royal family, various millionaires and billionaires, Dolce & Gabana which is hard to spell when you shop at Wal-Mart but for me, the highlight was seeing a photo of my tanned super hero sitting there at his table next to two very red faced friends (I think they were Dutch), yep, it was George Hamilton.

Anyway, we left to go back to the ship while Mrs. Samsonite and Mr. Woohoo returned to their jobs and hopefully they won’t get in trouble for taking this time off. Especially as Mrs. Samsonite had a lot of packing to do. We are not sure when we will see them again, we had a wonderful day and it was just perfect, right up to the end when Mr. Woohoo pretended he didn’t have any cash and I ended up paying for the taxi. The name of this restaurant, which if you are ever in Capri you must visit is http://www.villaverde-capri.com/en/index.html.

It was a wonderful day and I hope you enjoyed sharing it with us.

While I was sick Heidi proved once again that she is simply the best. I had promoted the On the Deck for the Cure at my travel talk. Later that afternoon as I was reminding myself and the bathroom floor what I had for lunch Heidi was arranging the distribution and promotion of the event………………..bottom line………….we sold out of the shirts and wrist bands and have raised a total of $4,640 in just two hours.

The walk will be on the next sea day and over 350 people will be taking part. Some donated more than $10 and we will be providing photos of the event of course for you all to see. The cure is out there somewhere and maybe we have helped………….just a little………………..for the experts to find it. As soon as we get more shirts, we will do this again and my thanks to Heidi for taking care of everything………and me.

OK, that’s it for now. Coming up is the first of many new guest interviews. You will notice that I am going to include many of the ship’s crew so you can see who they are and what they do. Also, look forward to a very special interview with a president of one of our sister companies and an interview with a man named Rick Meadows who will give you some very interesting insights into the world of cruising. Tomorrow (Saturday) I am going onboard the Emerald Princess. I have been invited to have a look around and I will of course report back to you and share my experiences of what I am sure is a stunning vessel.

OK, got to go as I have a big job to do. In my never-ending journey to help and appease every guest I am off to the main pool to have the water in it frozen so Mrs. Irving can enjoy an ice show………..which will be ……………..skating to The Sugar Plum Fairy serving her free drinks, a sandwich flown in from Brooklyn this morning ….wearing a pink tutu and a Royal Caribbean T Shirt………………………yep. …………………………………..I am definitely feeling better.

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi