Take two chefs, give them the same ingredients and you will no doubt find yourself eating two completely different dishes both cooked to perfection.

The same can be said within the cruise industry. Take Carnival and Princess ……the recipe was to design ships to carry 3,000 plus guests using the same ingredients. Both have done so with huge success, yet, like chefs, both are very different.

I say this because as I start my review of my day onboard the Emerald Princess, I want to stress that at no time will I be comparing the ships against each other and that this blog is based purely on my views of the Emerald as seen by someone who loves ships…………and I thought I would take you along…………..so, if you are ready lets go aboard.

Amazingly, this was my first time aboard a Princess ship and as Heidi and I walked from one side of the pier where we were docked in Venice to the other side I was very excited to see the vessel.

Previous to our leaving we had gone through the usual “what shall I wear ” routine and as I patiently waited for Heidi to try on five different outfits (I already knew that she would end up wearing the first one she had tried on) the anticipation grew.

The Emerald Princess is 116,000 GRT yet she looks bigger and as we approached her bow (Heidi moaning that she had worn the wrong shoes) the ship glistened in the Venetian sun…………….this was going to be fun.

We were met at the gangway by a very happy security guard from the Philippines and I introduced myself with a greeting in her language “Magandang Abon” which either means Good Morning or if pronounced incorrectly by replacing the A of Abon with a H means “I am a good lover”…….I must have pronounced it right because rather than calling for back up she used her radio to let someone know we were here and politely asked for our identification.

As we handed over our ship I.D.’s we were met by the ships’ Chief Security and at this point I cannot remember his name which I am deeply embarrassed about. I can tell you that he was from the North of England although his nametag said Ireland and that he was so polite and very, very funny. That therefore narrows it down because it is rare that you meet a man in his position who is funny, as security is a serious position and even rarer that you meet someone from the North Of England with a sense of humour at all.

Anyway, Chief Happy called for the ships Cruise Director on his radio and we chatted for a while and I thought that he had already made us feel “at home”.

Then we were met by our two guides the ship’s Cruise Director James Lay and the First Purser in charge of Food and Beverage operations Andrew Spencer.

I had heard about young James and how highly thought of he was by Princess Cruises. There are too few occasions where a Cruise Director will meet another and when we do there is always a little bit of professional rivalry between us. I am always very conscious that every other Cruise Director I have ever met is either a Brad Pitt look a like with perfect teeth, a gorgeous tan and one of those deep, sexy voices or the female version, just replace Brad Pitt with Catherine Zeta Jones.

I was very pleased therefore to see that James was nearly as ugly as I am and that he was only two X’s away from sharing my clothing. As we shook hands it was obvious that this young man was in the right job. This cannot always be said in our profession. First impressions are very important to me and my first impression was that he was genuinely pleased to see us and I already could sense how proud he was to be showing off his beautiful home. Then there was Andrew. His firm handshake and warm welcome showed a man who also was very excited to be able to present this magnificent ship to us. More about these young men later.

It smells……….I mean, in a good way………….. There is a familiar odor about a cruise ship and that odor is one of excitement, fun and on the deck where we boarded it was the familiar smell of hard work from the crew. We walked up one deck using the stairs, (both James and Andrew ignoring my statement of “oh look, an elevator”) and reaching the top of Everest we entered into one of the most brilliantly thought out areas of the ship. The Piazza.

This is the heartbeat of the ship and, unlike most other cruise lines that place their information centers in the lobby, this is completely different. Think of this as European Café district, more importantly put all your favorite public spaces on your favorite cruise ship and put them all in one area……………… and that’s The Piazza.

It is designed to be an area just to “hang out” in which upon seeing it and feeling it you immediately want to do. It contains an Internet Station, a premium wine bar, a coffee and treats cafe and inviting seating that shouts for you to sit and stay a while. If you decide to do this you will not be bored. James explained that this area is designed in the same way as places like La Rambla in Barcelona or Covent Garden in London. As he spoke and as if on cue, a juggler/acrobat/street entertainer began his show to an audience of 50-plus people seated in the center of the Piazza and many more watching from other areas above………………yep, I was in Covent Garden …………the only difference was that nobody was trying to sell me a fake Rolex or tell me that I must repent my sins as the end of the world would be here in a few hours.

The wine bar I mentioned is called Vines and serves a flight of premium wines by the glass along accompanied by zesty sushi and daily specials such as Tapas. It is designed in such a way that as you enjoy a glass of Opus One, you can still enjoy the entertainment that according to James is constant and ongoing most of the day and night.

Across the way from Vines is the International Coffee Shop which was manned by a chef with a wonderful smile who greeted us warmly. Like most shipboard coffee shops you pay for the specialty coffees but unlike any other ship I had been on the pastries, doughnuts, treats and lunchtime salads were complimentary. You do pay a few dollars for the “Extra Special Selection ” which included ……..Toffee Apples the size of Pamela Andersen’s ……………… hands………. and just looking at the them put my sugar level up 10 points. The Coffee Shop was inspiring and the best I have seen on land or sea ……………it just made me want to buy one, sit down, watch the entertainment and stay a while……………….The Piazza is brilliant, simply brilliant.

As James and Andrew ignored my comments of “I am a food critic as well and I must try the pastries” we headed up to look at the various dining options on the vessel……………..oh joy I thought we are going to talk about food………….just talk.

There are many varied dining options on the vessel and they include the sometimes controversial “anytime dining.” “Some guests like it, some do not,” said Andrew which is why they have a regular dining room with conventional confirmed seating times. The anytime dining seems to be working for them especially as they will take bookings as late as 9:45pm. Andrew told us that if there is a small wait for a table that guests are provided with beepers and invited to relax in one of the many lounges and bars until they are beeped when their table is ready. The menu is the same in both restaurants and to me; it seems that they have successfully covered all the angles.

Unfortunately, there were no examples of the food for me to taste and as I contemplated pretending to faint from the lack of food my situation got worse as we were led into the galley and introduced the Executive Chef Michele Cozzoli.

My Dad once told me “never trust a thin chef “………….Chef Cozzoli was therefore very trustworthy.

He greeted me with the words “at last, a proper sized Cruise Director” …………actually, being Italian he said ……………”ata lasta, a propera size bigga Cruisa Directa” ………………………and that was me in love.

We chatted about his passion for food and again you could feel the pride oozing out of him as he spoke about his love of cooking. During the cruise the Chef will offer something called “An Evening At The Chef’s Table” which sounds like an unforgettable experience as you actually get to follow him around the galley during the galleys busiest hours followed by a VIP table hosted by Chef Cozolli where you get to everything……….even the table .

As we said Ciao to the Chef and he shook my hand I realized two patterns were emerging………….Princess had taken their best people and put them on this ship and the second ……………bloody hell when are we going to stop talking about food and actually feed me…………………..but the torture continued.

“Welcome to The Crown Grill” said Andrew as we entered the first of the Emerald’s two specialty restaurants. Oh good thought I, surely here there will be samples to try……………but no, nothing………….the tables were empty and the galley which is on display to the guests was quiet and still……………….it was a bit like saying…..”Angelina Jolie is waiting in your bedroom but the door is locked and there is no key.”

The restaurant is beautifully designed with rich oak tables, upgraded silverware and a real steak house feel, there is even a fireplace. The menu (which I will add onto the end of the review) costs $25 and the selections include a 22 ounce Porterhouse Steak, Lamb and Pork chops………..I mean separately, they haven’t fused a pig and a lamb together and called it a pimb…….I mean you can get…..you understand …………………..and of course a very large selection of Appetizers and deserts. Now, be prepared to be amazed. For only an extra $9, you can get a whole Main Lobster or a Brazilian Lobster Tail……………….and it is cooked LIVE……..I mean the lobsters are alive……………..now that’s something to scream about ……………especially if you are the lobster.

The Crown Grill is inviting and I can imagine that booking early is a must.

We left the Crown Grill and saw the casino and the Speakeasy cigar lounge but I was not really listening to what the chaps were saying as in my mind I was tucking into Larry the Lobster who had not died in vain.

I was snapped back to reality by the words “Let’s go and see our other specialty restaurant Sabatini’s”…………surely this time there would be some form of nourishment.

Sabatini’s is the second of my top three favorite areas of the ship. It is based on The La Tratoria (I know the words La and the are the same but I love the Movie “Mickey Blue Eyes.”) Before you go and eat there is a huge area for pre-dinner drinks with deep sofas and a wonderful piano entertainer……………then its time to manger…….mangai…eat.

The cover charge is only $20 per person but what a menu. It includes an all you can eat selection at the start which includes the various mixed Italian delights you would expect to find at a canal side restaurant in Venice. As for the main courses…….well rather than me ramble on and probably spell everything incorrectly as well I thought I might as well just slap on the menu which I will do later…………….”oh by the way, if the weather allows there is an outdoor area for Al Frescos dining,” said Andrew……..I was to hungry to be bothered to ask who Al was.

Andrew explained that after dinner. guests could return to those deep comfortable sofas and chairs for coffee and desert ………the cost of hiring a crane to hoist you out of them again was not discussed. Sabatini’s has been designed to perfection and especially with the ship being in Venice ………….but when it sailed, you would still fell like you were in Italy…………..it was indeed “Italy To Go.”

I now wanted to hit both Andrew and James over the head with one of Sabatini’s sofas as there was still no food and now the torture level had increased as the smell of cooking wafted past me from the galley as I nibbled on my last Tic Tac.

Please God can we see something else apart from food I thought and for a few moments we did as we explored the very impressive kids and teen areas ……….one separate area for each age group each done superbly and decorated with the kids in mind…………..I was very impressed. It was then that I saw a young lad of about 7 years of age playing in a thing with things in it and in his left hand he was holding ………………..a bag of potato chips…………right kid I thought, those are mine. ……………..but just as I was about to turn into Jack Bauer, set a perimeter and snatch the kids chips……..James said “Let’s Go,” …………and my plan was foiled.

We then saw Club Fusion Lounge. This is used as a multi activity and entertainment center and again is superbly laid out with more comfortable seating, plasma televisions and from 2 pm, bowls of peanuts…………….I looked at my watch…………it said 11:45 am.

This brings me to one of James’ most difficult jobs, scheduling the entertainment. Because of the Anytime Dining concept coupled with the set seating times and constant performances in the Piazza, he has to make sure that shows are scheduled accordingly. This means that guests not only have dining choices but entertainment choices as well with two shows going head to head in the 900 seater Princess Theater and the Club Fusion Lounge. I would be terrible at this as scheduling is something I leave to the Mrs. but James seemed to really enjoy it and it was obviously something he has perfected…….well done mate.

Following our chat about the joys of scheduling Andrew then led us up to the Horizon Terrace where not satisfied with the levels of torture he had bestowed upon me already he explained about the daily lunch specials and how in the evenings gusts could dine in a casual atmosphere while devouring themed menus. We walked to the outside deck where they were still serving breakfast and I felt Mike Tyson had given me the good news with a right hook as I watched a beautiful lady officer devour eggs, bacon and sausage………….a trickle of egg was running down her chin and I was about to leap over the railing and mop it up with a small piece of bread she had left on her plate when Little and Large decided it was time to go.

We then passed by the Ice Cream bar and my stomach was now making noises similar to the engine of an Aston Martin Vanquish. We walked under the big screen that plays movies under the stars and then headed for a very special place…………..both James and Andrew were explaining all about it but I had only heard four words “let’s stop for refreshments”………………………more about that later.

The Sanctuary is a slice of paradise, it is something that when Heidi saw it for the first time I thought she was going to fall to her knees and weep with happiness……………..I would have done but I was still climbing up the 20 steps to get there in my wool blazer, in 80 degree heat………..once I was there I my breathing sounded like the air conditioning unit on my old Alfa Romeo.

So what was it that had Heidi dreaming of being a Footballers’ wife as she lay there next to Posh and Pecks……….well, imagine suddenly being handed a remote control that paused the everyday life that can be found on every Lido Deck on every mega ship in the world………….pausing the kids screaming for there 12th ice cream……….pausing that one couple who insist on having a domestic louder than AC/DC on steroids……….pausing the search for that elusive spot that offers piece and quiet and tranquility…………..well imagine no longer………………it’s real…………….it costs only $10 for a half day pass and it is called The Sanctuary.

Large doublewide sun beds with extra padding, dedicated staff to serve your every whim, complimentary water and juices and if you have the energy you can walk 10 paces and have a massage in one of the special cabanas. There is also a lap pool which is one of those contraptions where you swim against the current………….rather like a treadmill in the water but don’t worry ………..exercise is not compulsory.

As we chatted about this special place the refreshments arrived…………..four Diet Cokes……………I looked longingly towards the steps to see if another waiter would be arriving, laden with fresh fruit and Porterhouse Steaks …………….nothing…………..Cheers said James………………..cheers mate…………………..and I drank my Diet Coke trying to decide if it would be rude to ask if the had a vending machine onboard.

Leaving The Sanctuary we stopped by the Lotus Spa and something unique to Princess, a place called….. a gym. I would describe it to you but for some reason Andrew and James had started speaking Klingon and I could not understand anything they said. After that we went through the theatre and backstage and met two of the beautiful dancers. They took the time along with a the not so beautiful but charming Technical Manager to walk us around backstage and through the dressing rooms explaining all about the various grand shows they perform. The two dancers and the technical manager were also suffering from the oozing with pride syndrome which seemed to afflict everyone we had met.

Leaving the dressing room and the wonderful aroma of feet it was nearly time to say goodbye but not before we were graciously met by the ship’s Senior Officers.

CAPTAIN: GIORGIO POMATA
CHIEF TECHNICAL OFFICER: ALESSANDRO
PASSENGER SERVICE DIRECTOR: MARTIN FORD

As we chatted I knew I had discovered the source of the “oozing with pride syndrome” ………..it was them. On a cruise ship hospitality and respect for the guests and fellow crew has to start at the top and it was obvious from meeting these fine gentlemen that the pride they had in their ship was shared by the rest of the ship’s company………….congratulations Captain, you should be very proud.

We said our goodbyes and walked down to the gangway. We said goodbye to James and Andrew who are two fine people and who Princess should be proud of. They both love their jobs and were the perfect hosts (well nearly) and I thank them so much for their valuable time. The guests of the Emerald Princess have a top notch Cruise Director in James and I can see why he is considered one of the very best in the business……………..it was great to see passengers coming up and saying how happy they were that he was the Cruise Director as they had sailed with him before.

Andrew is full of passion about guest service and I wish he could be cloned …………except maybe his nose…………..because Andrew is one of those rare people who love ships, love people who cruise on ships and truly love every nut and bolt of the Emerald.

What to say in closing……………….well, it was a great experience. The Piazza, The Sanctuary and Sabatini’s stole the show along with the crew themselves. Can I recommend this ship?…………………………..well let’s just say this. Following the bloggers cruise in January I am going to cruise on the Emerald Princess……….I haven’t asked yet but I am going to……….I am going to eat at every restaurant and probably three times at Sabatini’s……….I am then going to sit in one of those deep sofas and when I am ready to leave I will order a large German woman named Helga to carry me to bed.

In the morning I will lay on the doublewide sun lounger in The Sanctuary and when they ask me if I want fruit juice I shall say no thank you and order four Toffee Apples instead.

Most importantly I shall enjoy sampling more of that oozing of pride from the crew and everything that makes this ship something very, very special. The value of an emerald depends on cut, color, clarity, and carat, the four C’s………….well this Emerald has the four C’s as well………..

Charismatic………….The ship is stuffed full of Charisma – especially it’s Captain, Officers, Staff and Crew.
Cool……………..with its Piazza and the incomparable Sanctuary this is one cool ship.
Choice………….with the many dining and entertainment options available …………..the choice is yours.
Captivating……She certainly captivated me and I wanted to cruise on her right there and then…………as will you.

The value of this Emerald……………………………..she is priceless.

So Heidi and I returned home happy and hungry. We have invited the Captain and his Senior Officers over to our place next time so we can show them how proud we are of our home. We will treat them like royalty as we show them the fantastic Carnival Freedom but if they think they are getting anything to eat………………….they are mistaken..

Here are sample menus from Sabatini’s and the Crown Grill………..mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Here I am with from left to right.

JAMES LAY – CRUISE DIRECTOR
MARTIN FORD – PASSENGER SERVICES DIRECTOR
ME
GIORGIO POMATA – CAPTAIN
ALESSANDRO – CHIEF TECHNICAL OFFICER

PIAZZA CHARACTERS

PURE TORTURE AT THE INTERNATIONAL COFFEE SHOP

JOHN AND CHEF COZZOLI

THE SANCTUARY

A DIET COKE – ARE YOU KIDDING

WHERES THE FOOD AT

THE EMERALD PRINCESS AND THE CARNIVAL FREEDOM

Good Afternoon Everyone ……………I have decided that this blog is going to be one of pure happiness and joy complemented by some silly fun as well.

Why ?……………………………………….Well, after yesterday and the day I had I have decided that today I am going to only write about good things and henceforth this will be a happy blog……………….well mostly, because in order for me to tell be Mr. Happy I need to quickly paraphrase why yesterday was a day to forget.

1. Dropped Heidi’s expensive watch.

Heidi had left her watch by the sink in the bathroom and I accidentally knocked it onto the tiled floor smashing the glass……..no guesses where I have been all day.

2. I met that mad bat of a French lady I described in the Blog yesterday and she really got under my skin.

3. My sugar level got really low after dealing with Cruella I didn’t feel like eating…………..I felt a little “floppy” and therefore tested my sugar ………….oops ………..that was me in the doghouse inside the doghouse.

4. Tara, who did not know I was diabetic who had bought me back a beautiful box of French Chocolate Truffles………a thank you for organizing the On Deck for the Cure walk and for allowing her to “drop her inhibitions”………………..I was really happy and grateful but also really mad at myself that I had been such a bloody idiot to allow myself to be diabetic and therefore not able to enjoy the chocolates.

5. I got screamed at by the brother of the people who missed the ship yesterday in Cannes. After we sailed he asked to speak to me and decided that it was my fault and that I should have warned them about the train service to St. Tropez ………….he used a lot of bad language and it took all of my professional experience not to insert a large box of French chocolates in him.

6. Finally, I got some bad news from a friend at home………….nothing I want to share at this point but enough for me to feel like packing the bags ……….OK, asking Heidi to pack the bags ………….and buggering off home.

But, here I am and today is as a great friend e-mailed me last night and said “a new day” and therefore, it’s a happy and fun blog that I share with you this Friday.

Here is a photo then of what Big Ed, Alan and myself would have looked like a few thousand years ago. I suggest you skip this bit if easily offended.

See, I told you………………………..It’s going to be a happy blog.

Good news…………………no bad news today. As the cruise ends I can tell you that although I upset one guest who thought I was treating them like a child ………………..am I bothered ……………………….the cruise finished with only 24 cases of ………ummmm………Mr.D………….if you know what I mean ………………..and no NV outbreaks…………so I think I shall continue my announcements and try and help the guests stay well.

Also, here is a lovely letter I received a copy of about the Captain and staff of the Carnival Ecstasy………..have a look.

I wanted to share my most recent cruise experience with everyone. A little back history I have cruised with Carnival 4 times. My most recent cruise was on 09-08-2007 on the Carnival Ecstasy out of Galveston Texas. This is how my experience was: As soon as you set foot on the Ecstasy on the Empress deck you can already tell this will be a different cruise experience. The crew has a different aura about them they are happy and smiling and genuinely make you feel at home right away. Tina Noble was our cruise director and had been an Asst Cruise director on another cruise I was on about a year ago. She was phenomenal she was so much fun and never missed a beat. She danced under the stars with us on the sail away party with her huge white shoes. She made it a point after I told her my name to never forget who I was. I love her trying to speak our language in Texas tongue by saying things like Boogey Woogey and teaching country line dances. The morning of debarkation we where delayed due to Hurricane Humberto and she had the fun patrol running around with Free Hug signs which my daughter loved. She also had the comedian Tony Stone perform to kill time and the band up on promenade deck to keep everyone toe tapping. They showed a movie for the kids and really made us feel the 6-hour difference was just a small amount of time. She really sets the tone for the staff and makes you feel like for the 5 days you are on board that you are at home.

Captain Scala I must say was amazing. He was the only Captain on any ship I have been aboard that really took the time to stop and talk with anyone. He was like the dad of the ship. He took time to do a Q&A session with us and explain how things worked. He came over the speaker and informed us about everything and why it was done. During the delay coming back he got on the speaker every step of the way and explained what was going on. He is just an amazing man and I hope to cruise with him for years to come.

Vernon in the dining room of the Wind star at the 6:15 seating. Well I called him Big V for 5 days he was of course my best friend because I did not have to cook. He was such a nice person and my family got to know him during our time. He never missed a beat and always served us with a smile he could do anything aboard the ship with his knowledge and personality and it was a pleasure to have him and his assistant Vernon or little V serve us. If he happened to see us at lunch or breakfast he would always make a point to come and say hello and see how our day was.

The staff and crew aboard the Carnival Ecstasy recently won the Eagle award which is proudly displayed in the grand atrium. Every single one of them deserves this and I believe that every ship in the fleet can take notes from the Ecstasy crew. I will soon book my fifth cruise with Carnival and cannot wait to re-join my family on the high seas. I have enclosed a few pictures of my cruise and the wonderful staff of the Ecstasy. I cannot say enough good things and would love for you to pass this letter on to the crew so they may know how much they meant to me and my family.

Angela George.

Great letter and a wonderful example of everything that is good about Carnival and her employees………well done the Carnival Ecstasy team.

See, a happy blog.

Now, let’s have some happy photos. These were taken from a trip yesterday to Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France. Hope you enjoy them.

But first, the news

A man has been found wandering around his hometown at 4 am this morning in a confused state wearing a Royal Caribbean shirt, fish net stockings, suspenders and a black thong. The man was also said to have an orange and a banana in his underwear. When taking photos Police have removed the Royal Caribbean shirt to save his family any embarrassment.

Here are the letters for today’s In Their Own Words Section

And now Q & A…………………starting where I left off yesterday.

KAREN R – Thanks for catching up on all the blog thingies and even though my fingers are tired it is rewarding to know that so many people still enjoy the blogs so much. I wish I could offer your husband a cruise because he is a minister but if he did sail and volunteered to do a service we would of course be very thankful. I know you have said that you have never cruised with Carnival before so it is my job to see if I can persuade you to come and see for yourself just how wonderful a Carnival cruise vacation is. Therefore, I remain at your service and I hope one day I can say “welcome aboard” to you both in person.
DANNY – Thanks mate for the link which really made me chuckle. I wonder if Mr. S would be mad if I slid a copy under his door…………….probably! Thanks again and live long and prosper.
LISA AND ELAINE – the sunsets are waiting……….bring your camera.
SUSAN B – I am so sorry to hear that you to have been affected by breast cancer following the loss of both your grandmas. I was sad to read that your were crying reading the blog but I see also that you were gladdened by seeing so many people donating their vacation time and money to help raise awareness and a to help find a cure as we all walked on deck. My thoughts are with you and thank you for your wonderful and so sincere words.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Gary says he will be happy to be employed as your personal photographer and will work for free. How nice that you and so many others want to send things (I hope holiday cards) to us while we are at home and I will slap on the address in a few weeks time……………as there is nobody at home yet all the mail is being diverted. Thank you also for saying hello to Roberto as he is so important to the continuing success of the blog thingy. All the best Carol and hope you are well.
BIG ED – You are so kind to keep doing what you are doing in the support and enhancement of the blog. Thanks mate.
LFTTNSFP – Very funny! 39 days and counting………………..by the way…….we will have a welcome aboard cocktail party for the TA bloggers on the 28th at 7:30pm………………not in the cigar bar
LINDSEY B – OK, something big you say, well you asked the right person. I am going to suggest you look at the brilliant Carnival Liberty sailing out of Miami. I particularly recommend the Eastern Caribbean cruise it does to St.Thomas, Antigua, Tortola etc………..have a look at http://www.carnival.com/Ship_Detail.aspx?shipCode=LI
You will love the shows, the crew, the big screen on the Lido deck and have a wonderful time I promise. Have a look at this and then send me your questions. My two fingers are ready to type the answers and hope to hear from you soon…………..before you are abducted by green things from outer space.
DWA76 – I wish someone would Photoshop me. Hope all is well mate.
INEZ – We will be thinking about you this week as you go for your check up and I know everything will be OK. I hope to hear from you soon so we know that is the case. Thank you for your beautiful words and I wish you and Dean many more cruise adventures together. Heidi and I are thinking of you.
HEIDI & BETH AND KEVIN – Can you send me the address of your blog thingy as I would love to read all about your Carnival Glory cruise. I hear Wee Jimmy is not so wee anymore. It’s always great to hear from the three of you and please write soon. Cheers

We now move to comments and questions from the blog called “The Cleese Transcript”

But first…….the news

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious!

Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to President Bush, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a queen cannot control.”
George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replies, “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

DWA76 – I am glad you liked the transcript of the John Cleese interview mate and you are right, interviewing him did help me realize one of my dreams. Thanks so much for the kind words and why not rent A Fish Called Wanda tonight.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – My vote is also for Catherine Zeta Jones. I also have seen in Heidi’s magazines that AJ has had and is having some problems. Now, don’t get me wrong. I would still crawl through a pit of vipers to get to her but I think CZJ is the perfect choice for Godmother. I would love to see:
THE BAND OF HER MAJESTYS WELSH GUARDS PARADING THE PIER – CZJ IS WELSH
THE BRITISH AND AMERICAN NATIONAL ANTHEMS SUNG BY A WONDERFUL LADY SOPRANO AND PLAYED BY THE BANDS
CZJ TO CHRISTEN THE VESSEL
HUGE STREAMER AND CONFETTI CANNONS PLACED ON THE BOW AND OPEN DECKS LET FLY WHEN THE BOTTLE SMASHES
Sound good?
Maybe I should organize the ceremony…………..mmmmmmmmmmmm.
What do you think?

HERE ARE COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS FROM THE WILD WILLY BLOG

But first

A government social worker was visiting the Indian reservation for the first time.
Over by the store, a woman was yelling up a blue streak at an old Indian man. The man looked like he could use some help. The social worker walked over and broke up the disturbance by pulling the man aside.

“Hey, that lady sure has your number.”
“She no lady. She my wife.”
“You don’t say. What’s her name?”
“Wife name ‘Three Horse’.”
The social worker smiled. “Now that’s a strange name. Three Horse. Yep, that sure is a strange name. How did she get a name like that?”

“Nag nag nag.”

BILL ZYDECOCRUISER – Welcome back and after all you have done for me the gifts were the least I could do. I still listen to all the CD’s you sent me and have grown to really enjoy Zydeco music. Have fun with Mom and of course on the Carnival Conquest. I am posting one more recipe from Mum, I think you will like this one. Cheers mate.
MATT AND VIKKI TILL – What a great question. What are some of the strangest things people have tried to smuggle onboard? I thought long and hard about this one and I could only think of one, however, Duncan our Hotel Director added one brilliant one to the list…………….remember these were all discovered by the state room stewards so they actually managed to get them onboard.
A Whole Pigs Head…………..this had been given to a guest by relatives in San Juan to take back to Miami for cooking.
The only one I could think of is the common one of people trying to avoid having liquor taken at the gangway. The usual way is to empty a water bottle and fill it up ashore with vodka, gin, rum etc………..security know about this one now.
So, if you want to get your cat onboard we may have to get clever ……….maybe you could say it’s a new crewmember who works for the …………………. Housekeeping Department. ……………..sorry about that one. Cheers.
IVANA – Have fun in Prague and I hope you show us all some photos when you get back.
GREG BALDASARRI – Hello mate. Thanks for the great compliments about the John Cleese interview. It really was a magical experience and one I am glad I got to share with everyone. There will be more sunset photos soon I promise so stand by for that. Thanks for the best wishes and also for mentioning Roberto. LET’S GO HEAT………….cheers mate.
DAN – Hello Dan and thanks first of all for saying how much you enjoy the blog thingy. It is always great to welcome new people and its funny that you choose my close encounter with Fatima as your favorite so far…………..that’s my friend Alan’s fault. So, thanks also fro the link of yet another politician having fun with binoculars………….seems someone has been having fun with that Photoshop thingy again. Thanks again mate and I hope yours is a name I will see regularly on the blog thingy.

Now we move to the comments about the blog called Wild Willy……………….but first.

BIG ED – I certainly are looking forward to spending some quality time with all my blogger friends on the January 19 cruise. Todd has been gracious to allow me some time on stage, but he will take care of the day-to-day running of the ship. I don’t think I will be getting drunk as I haven’t been drinking for 11 years, I do however, enjoy watching others get happy. Anyway, there will be a coffee and a Drambuie waiting as requested, see you very soon. Don’t forget the dress.
THE BEARS – CARL AND BARB – I am glad you enjoyed today’s photos and I have passed on your thanks to Alarnya for taking them. I am sorry to hear that your first day back to work did not go so well. Please take it easy, rest your legs as you have been through a lot recently. Listen to Doctor John now. Tell Carl, he is hired as a Spice Girl, he will be……………..Bear Spice. Heidi sends her best to you as do I.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – It’s Friday today and I am hoping to hear the latest on your condition as you have been constantly in our thoughts. Let’s chat when you are on board and we will find the perfect tours for you. Please let us know how you are as we are thinking of you.
LFTTNSFCF – I am looking forward to receiving your wife’s complaint about there being too many places you can smoke. So yes, all is balanced again. In all seriousness, I really think, the only place where we may be having a concern is walking through the cigar bar to get to the Internet café. This is something that maybe was not planned correctly and we must do better.
However, with the Promenade and with exception of two public lounges, everything is non-smoking and I really do not think there is cause for anyone to complain…………who am I kidding? There will be plenty of sambas for you and even John and Diane are learning one. See you soon mate.
NICO R. – I am sorry Carnival did not reply to your request for employment. Please send me, via Roberto, your resume ASAP. I am sure your Carnival Pride cruise will be as enjoyable as the one on the Carnival Liberty and if you would like to highlight any staff member, please tell me who it is and I will be happy to forward it directly to the Vice President of that department. Thanks again for your posting and all the best.
CRUISING EAGLE – How wonderful that you have been reading my blog from the beginning. Regarding the Carnival Fantasy and the guest pins, you are correct, that on a 5-day cruise, they do indeed have a past guest party. Pins are issued to all returning guests but unfortunately, this was not the case on the past itinerary of the Carnival Fantasy during her 3- and 4-day cruising. I will see therefore, if I can get you a Carnival Fantasy pin as I will for the other blogger and watch this space for further information. I think it is so fantastic that your son and his new bride will be starting their married life on the Carnival Elation and I want to thank you for everything you said about the blog.
J TODDINMAN – No need to apologize, as this poem has gone straight to number one in the charts and I have just sent it to Alan, who no doubt will be overjoyed. You are very talented and if I may be so bold and when you have time, could I commission you to write a poem about Heidi and I? I remain your faithful number one fan.
M@&RT – It was no problem answering your questions, that is what I am here for. Just want to say with regards to Fatima, there was no escape and I was more worried what she would do with her pipe, if I tried to make a run for it. I am glad you are enjoying all the latest blogs and I am sure I will be able to get you in to see the galley as requested. Thanks for all your kind words, they really make my day and the Fish & Chips are on me.
BILL ZYDECO CRUISER – Consider it done mate.
TERESA C – I am so happy you are enjoying your photos and that it is bringing so many memories back to you. I am so excited that you are seriously thinking of cruising on the Carnival Splendor, it will be a joy to welcome you home. Thanks again for everything and a very good night to you.
SUSAN B – Then soda it is. Remind me when you get here. Everything here is good and today is definitely a better day than yesterday. It is very funny that you should ask for an interview with one of the Carnival Dancers as I just completed one which will be posted sometime next week. I hope your daughter keeps dancing and I am sure one day you will be a proud mum sitting on the front row, watching your daughter perform as one of our dancers. PA 007, as Unknown Spice………….great idea. Actually, I think he/she is actually a Spice Girl fan in real life. Thanks again for the wonderful posting, it was brilliant.
ALEXANDRIA – What a fantastic song, I remember Sweet so well from my youth and of course the Little Willy song. Thanks for the memories. I have a big smile on my face. ))
DWA76 – Tara will be leaving tomorrow and she promised to stay in touch with me as we all continue to think of her. Watch out for Wild Willy. Cheers mate, always great to see your name on the postings.
RUSS AND NINA FRANKLIN – Dubrovnik holds so many memories for those people who have been fortunate to visit this enchanting town. I see that you are definitely one of those people. We thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I don’t know this restaurant you mentioned in Rome but the calamari sounds heavenly. Thank you both for once again taking the time to post your comments.
LOIS CARING ABOUT OTHERSKI – I will look after Bonnie and deliver the hug as requested. And I have one for you here as well.

That’s all I have time for tonight and there will be more tomorrow.

I have a very special interview that goes with today’s blog. It will be posted separately in a few minutes and I truly hope you enjoy it.

I know I had a bad yesterday but it could have been worse. This was sent to me by my mate Alan and is taken from the Daily Mail Newspaper from last week………

This article was taken from the Daily Mail, August 20, 2007.

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

This has been a happy blog and I intend to keep it happy until the end by telling you that tonight I had a wonderful conversation with Tara………….here is how it went.

TARA……………thank you John for everything I have had a wonderful time

John………….No need to thank me just get well and remember we are all thinking about you.

TARA………..I will e-mail you as soon as I am home and I am curious to read the blog.

John…………Thousands of people are thinking about you

TARA (crying)…………I know and this makes me so happy

John……….Well don’t cry anymore and when you do put on the DVDs I gave you of the cruise

TARA……….I will ………..still crying. I wanted to let you know about today in Pisa.

John……….What happened

Tara………..Dozens of Passengers were coming up to me and taking photos. Then a Japanese couple who were obviously with a tour group but not from the Freedom came up and asked if they could have a photo and asked me if I was famous……..so I said YES and they took photos.

Now, if anything makes me happy it was that conversation there…………………………….god bless her.

Goodnight and Be Happy

Your friends

John and Heidi

Can you tell us how long you have been working for Carnival Cruise Lines? What year did you start and what is your current position?
I started with Carnival Cruise Line 13 years ago I can remember the day I signed on the ship it was the 14^th June 1994 at 11:34 am on the Sensation. My current position is Chief Security.

Where are you from and what is the best thing about living there.
I am from the Philippines from a place called Darlac

Are you married and tell us about your family
Yes I am married and I have three children. I have one girl who is 14 years old and 2 boys, ages 10 and 6 years old

What does your job involve? Describe what you do each day.
I get up around 6:30 am I make sure that the security guards are doing the job on the gangway and ensure that all the security measures are met when entering port. I also have paperwork to do everyday and follow the security plans of the vessel. The job also means I have to make sure the ship is secure for all the guests and I am very privileged to be able to do it.

What is the best thing about working on a cruise ship?
The best thing is meeting new people on the cruise and talking to them.

What is the hardest thing about working on a cruise ship?
I find that the hardest thing working on a cruise ship is not being able to seeing my family.

Please tell us your favourtie things.

Food A doubo – A SPICY PORK DISH

Movie I like comedy and Action

Music Folk Songs

Favourite way to relax
My favourite way to relax is by going the gym

If you could have any job on the ship for a day what would you like to do and why.
The job I would love to do for the day is to be a casino dealer because you are dealing with one table and only dealing with small amount of people.

Favourite Port
My favourite port is Rome

If you could meet one famous person in the world who would it be and why.
I would love to meet the Pope

Here are the latest sunset photos taken by Gary as we left Livorno last night. I hope you enjoy them

Can you tell us how long you have been working for Carnival Cruise Lines. What year did you start and what is your current position?

I started With CCL July 24^{th 2004 as a lighting technician and become a senior Entertainment technician in November 2005.Where are you from and what is the best thing about living there?}

^{I am from Miami, Florida and there are 4 great things about being from there…..the beach, the sun, family and the mix of culture that leaves no room for ignorance while growing up there.}

^{Are you married and tell us about your family?}

^{I am enjoying the single life to the fullest; I have to live it up while I can. My family is a very important part of me as it keeps me grounded every day I am away from them. My mum is a hard working Medical Billing and coding office manager. My Step Father works for Florida lighting and power, and my brother is currently a junior in High school.}

^{What does your job involve. Describe what you do each day?}

^{My job involves making sure all lighting and special effects including Pyrotechnics are functioning at the highest standard and quality that carnival provides its guests. I have the Freedom to program the lights for our fantastic Fly on entertainers and I work closely with the Cruise Director and Dance Captain to ensure that the lighting for our production shows remain consistent fleet wide.}

^{What is the best thing about working on a cruise ship?}

^{Coming from Miami I thought I was exposed to almost every type of culture, then I came to work for Carnival and discovered that there is so much more in the big world.}

^{What is the hardest thing about working on a cruise ship?}

^{Being away from Family and friends. Also I miss Pizza Hut!!! But im hoping Carnival Will buy them soon )}

^{Favorite things….}

^Food

^{Meat Lovers Pizza…..from Pizza Hut}

^Movie

^{Please don’t make fun of me……Moulin Rouge}

^Music

^{Michael Buble}

^{Way to relax}

^{Going to the Gym}

^{If you could do any other job on the ship for a day what would you like to do and why?}

^{I would like to be a DJ for the day. It gives the freedom to provide a positive environment. Nice dance music cruising in the Mediterranean….life doesn’t get much better than that for me}

^{Favorite Port?}

^{Cannes, France. Its very similar to Miama. Fantastic food including chocolate Nutella Crepes}

^{If you could meet one famous person in the world who would it be and why?}

^{Gloria Estefan … she has gone through so many downs and picked herself up again and still made herself a star! That just proves to me that no matter what choice you make in my life and what hurdle gets thrown at you, in the end you can always come out on top!}

The Gulf of Lion (French: Golfe du Lion) is a wide embayment of the Mediterranean coastline of Languedoc-Roussillon and Provence in France, reaching from the border with Catalonia in the west to Toulon……………….and last night the Lion had toothache because it was roaring its head off creating force 9 winds and some pretty big swells. This resulted in the ship doing an impression of a rollercoaster as we ducked and dived effortless through the swells until about 3 am when the Lion obviously saw an emergency dentist and was able to calm down a bit. Luckily, we got through the show without having to stop it and the cast performed admirably……………I was very proud of them.I went for my morning cup of tea in the lobby around 8:30am and the guests gave mixed reaction to the nights bumping and grinding…………the ship………I mean the ship moving around…………..stop it !

Some people get seasick and that’s natural I guess but some found it exhilarating that we were sailing through rough seas. Anyway, I was talking to one guest who was really happy with everything and was in full flow praising the friendly crew when I he was interrupted by a lady who did not look happy……………..someone had definitely taken the jam out of her doughnut. She was wearing a gold shimmering track suit with matching hat and her finger with a diamond the size of my head waggled in my face “I want to talk to you” said Mrs. Goldfinger………….”one moment I am just finishing with this guest,” said I…………..turning back to the guest I was about to continue our conversation when he said “that’s OK, I have to get ready for my tour.”………and he walked away……leaving me with Mrs. Goldfinger. This is how the conversation went…………….sorry but I can’t be asked to do the speech mark things………..here we go.

JOHN………….Yes, can I help you

Mrs. Goldfinger………..I want to complain.

John…………OK, complain away and let me see if I can help you

Mrs. Goldfinger…………I don’t like this ship

John…………..I am so sorry to hear that ………..may I ask why

Mrs. Goldfinger………..The food is no good, the shows are boring and there is nothing to do.

John………..OK, I am sorry to hear that……….have you enjoyed anything

Mrs.Goldfinger………….NO

John………….How about the ports

Mrs Goldfinger……….I didn’t come here for the ports I came to cruise

John……….OK, lets sit down and discuss what it is you do not like and let me get one of the Purser’s to record everything. I will be right back.

I then walk 15 paces to the front desk and one of the Pursers to join me. Joanne walks around an we walk toward Mrs. Goldfinger who has been joined by an man……….dressed head to toe in a black track suit with a logo saying “The Villages, Florida” across the chest.

John……….Hello Sir, Is this your wife.

Mr. Goldfinger…………Yes.

John……….OK, would you like to join us as we discuss what you are not happy with.

Mr. Goldfinger…………Oh ignore her, she could complain for America at the Olympics………come on let’s go ashore.

And with that Mr and Mrs. Goldfinger walk away leaving me Joanne laughing and me shaking my head, holding a cold cup of tea.

Today in Barcelona we were joined by Jonathan Blackburn who is a theatrical and entertainment agent based in London. He has provided us with all the wonderful singers, musicians, comedians and variety acts we have had this season. We will be meeting all day tomorrow to plan who will be entertaining guests on the Carnival Freedom and Carnival Splendor next year………any requests?

Here are today’s photos which I hope you enjoy. They were taken this week by Entertainment Staff member Gary during his trip to Pompeii……………………oh yes, there is a photo also of the a hat…………not just any hat…….THE HAT!

Here are today’s letters from the In Their Own Words Section

Time for the Q and A starting with the ones from A Blog for Tara

A CRUISE BY ANY OTHER NAME – Hello J.R. and how’s the price of oil today? Let me answer some questions for you. You asked about the Carnival pools and if they are open for 24 hours. The answer is no. Each ship keeps one pool open until midnight however due to safety concerns and the fact that we have to empty the pools we need to have them closed at some point each day. Then you asked about a place that is dark on the open decks so the heavens can be seen. There is always one area where this is possible, usually at the forward part of the ship. However, we must have the lights on most of the vessel so we can be seen. Even in the day and age of modern radar and detection equipment the best way to avoid a collision is to be lit up like a Christmas tree. This does not apply to parts of the front section of the vessel as bright lights can reflect back into the bridge making navigation difficult. Therefore the front of a cruise ship is often the best way to see the stars. Hope this helps and let me know if you have any other questions. Cheers J.R.
NANETTE – Nani, I will let you know nearer the time and will put a visitors pass in for you to visit the ship. I am sure we will sail together again one more time. Sorry about wearing the blazer for the walk on deck but I had run straight from my Marriage Show plus I had given away my T Shirt to the lady in the electric wheelchair in the photo………. Adios ….mucho hugos.
PARIS, TEXAS – Welcome home and it is wonderful to hear that you enjoyed your cruise so much. Of course I remember our brief conversation and I will now have a look for myself at the wonders of Paris, Texas and your own Eiffel Tower….do you consider your self Texan or French. Do you eat frog legs? Do you say Bonjour……ya’llllllllllllll. It sounds like a fascinating place and thank you for sharing its history with us all. Welcome to the world of blog which as of today has 670,000 readers. Thanks and stay in touch please.
LINDA HERNACKI – I want you to know that Carter has been in my thoughts since I read your posting Linda and I would be grateful if you could keep us informed as to his progress. I am sure he is in good hands and that the doctors at the Arnold Palmer hospital (is there a golf course on the roof?) will have the little chap back to playing and shouting for his Grandma very soon. I know how desperately you want me to be here in November and I am going to make a final decision when I will take vacation by October 1. I appreciate so very much that you want to sail with me and the feeling is I assure you mutual…..I want to sail with me to……………I mean I want to sail with you as well. Let’s see how the next few days go and then I will let you know. The book is a definite fact for the future and PA 007 is going to be my publisher! Most importantly please give Carter and his parents our best wishes and those of the thousands of readers to the blog thingy.
RUSS AND NINA FRANKLIN – Heidi wants to order the harmony seat now ……………..that’s my Christmas present sorted then. I was glad that the Walk on Deck for Breast Cancer was so successful and I am hoping that we get respelled very soon so we can do it all over again. Thanks for all your kind words and thoughts and my best to you both.
THE BEARS – CARL AND BARB – I saw the photos of your beautiful new grand bear and that is one beautiful baby. Will you please wish the family our very best and I hope the new cub brings you many years of joy and happiness……………..what a life he will have with grandparents like you. Congratulations and enjoy these special times.
KAREN TESSIER/EDMONSON – When you read a review like the one you just slapped on it makes my day. First of all, welcome home and thank you for acknowledging the dining room staff and of course the origination and quality of our shore excursion program. I know that there are times when having 3,000 people onboard can feel like there are 4,000 people onboard and these are areas we must try and improve on but hearing you say that you never felt that there were this many onboard…….well that is music to my ears. Keep working on your Platinum status and also please keep reading the blog thingy as I hope it will keep you going until the next time you walk up the gangway. Thanks again for your wonderful posting and welcome to the blog thingy.
RAY CZENSZAK – Ray, there is no need to thank me for the blog dedicated to Tara and the many ladies like her who have and unfortunately will still, face many battles ahead. The real thank and praise should go to people like your Jeanne who has walked thirty-five miles each and every year for four years to support breast cancer research. The next time she does a walk like that would you please let us know so I can sponsor her and I am sure there will be many more on this site who will do the same. Please pass on our best wishes and sincere praise for all she has done. Thank you mate for sharing your special lady with us all.
DEBORAH ROSATO – You and your group will soon be here and I am sure you must be very excited. You mentioned your meet and greet at 5′pm on the first day but unfortunately I will not be able to come as I am on stage at 4:30pm – 5:15pm for the Welcome Aboard Talk followed by the Q and A. However, I suggest that you have a second meet and greet on the first or second sea day and if you drop me a note at the Information Desk upon boarding I will arrange a lounge for you. Is this a Cruise Critic or cruise mates group of family and friends etc? Thank you so much for the kind words about the blog and if it does as you suggest offer a new level of customer service then it makes all this typing worthwhile. I will see you in a few weeks and let me know please if there is anything that you may require. Cheers.
LEASA – I wanted to say a big hello to your Mum and tell her that as a cancer survivor it is her that needs applauding not me. The Walk on Deck for the Cure is now as important to me as any show or activity and I will make sure it continues to be a focal point of each cruise for as long as I can. Thank you also for your kind words to Southern Dreams and please send Mum a big hug from us both. I am so glad you found the John Cleese book on audio and how wonderful that this support from the Library of Congress is there for sight-impaired people. John Cleese is tall, skinny, has typical English features which include a strong jaw line and a stiff upper lip. I am not sure if anyone has described me to you so close your eyes and picture the most handsome, debonair man you can with soft silky dark hair and the muscle tone of an Olympic athlete……………have you got that in your mind …………………good…………………..now think of the exact opposite and that’s me. I will be adding on a new PODCAST / AUDIO FILE very soon for you all to enjoy and my best to you until then.
LFTTHSFCF – Congratulations on the wonderful charity golf tournament you have been involved in ………….you should be very proud. Maybe I should do some sponsored Jelly Bean eating or if every blogger sponsored me $1,000 maybe I would go back for round two with Fatima. Have the tickets come yet and did you see the press release about the Halloween activities? The dream will soon be a reality…………….not long now.
MARILYN VISCHIO – I WILL INDEED BE YOUR Cruise Director next year on the Carnival Freedom as we head back to Europe. I love those crossings……………….except the 6 times we move the clocks one hour ahead. Still that is a small price to pay fro our voyage to Europe. Thank you for the kind words about the Walk on the Deck for Breast cancer and we will indeed be doing this again on the crossing next year. See you then and let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
GREY KITT N – Hello little grey kitten ………………….. ahhhhhhhhhh. Now, I just wrote that and then the thought popped into my head that you may be a 300 pound body builder but I will take the chance that you are not and say……………..aaahhhhhh again……………..aaahhhhhhhh. What a beautiful thing you did for your friend by sending her those beautiful gifts during her chemotherapies and how fantastic that you would like to do the same for Tara the lady I featured in the blog. I just contacted her and she was so overjoyed to hear that so many people were thinking about her and that you want to send her a Becky Bracelet. Tara said that she will be writing a post on the blog as soon as he gets home and I have given her Roberto’s e-mail so she can send in her address so we will be in touch. Thank you for being such a special person and I applaud all that you do. Thank little kitten…………..aaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
THE POET LAUREATE – Thank you once again for another poem and especially one that refers to the special Walk On Deck. You continue to be such a great supporter of the blog thingy and we all thank you for that and all your poems.
She started writing poems and suddenly she was a hit
Words of beauty and joy would flow when at the computer she would sit
From jellybeans to Fatima she has written from a far
And that is why for all of us jtoddinman is a star.
INEZ – Heidi says you are welcome.
JULIE GRANT – As I just mentioned Tara was overjoyed when she read all the comments that everyone has been posting and I know that it has made a huge difference to her knowing so many people both onboard and on this blog thingy are supporting her and everyone else who faces the slings and arrows that lay ahead. So thank you Julie for being one of those special people and my best regards to you.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – So far, no space ship sightings have been recorded but I thought I saw an ugly monster from the planet Zog yesterday. It was huge, had scary red eyes and a terrible smell was coming out of its rear end………..I was about to call Mr S and tell him he was correct when I realised I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning………….jelly beans and late nights do not go together. Talking of scary monsters, Halloween will be a wonderful fleetwide event and I will make sure all the cruise directors take photos of the events so I can slap them on the blog thingy. Thank you Carol ……….my phaser is set on heavy stun and my warp drive is on factor 5 ………..Heidi is not happy.
DWA 76 – I know I should not let people get to me like my friend who wrote that the photo of the Carnival Triumph is not real……………I mean, does he really think I would post something that is not real on a site that has nearly 700,000 readers. I respect everyone’s opinion but sometimes ……………….well………………you know.
I am glad you enjoyed the blog thingy and I hope that you are also enjoying today’s. Cheers mate and many thanks for the constant support.
LOIS THANKSFORTHEKINDWORDSSKI – Hope you are enjoying your hide away vacation in Kentucky. A man from Kentucky walks into a bar and orders a beer Bartender says “have you got any ID? The man from Kentucky says “About what?” That joke was old to me by friend Carl Falconberry from Louisville. Heidi says a big hello back and most importantly thank you so very much for the kind words you shared with us all.

NOW WE MOVE TO COMMENTS FROM THE BLOG ABOUT STEWARDESS MERYLN

JO MYERLY – I knew she had been your stateroom stewardess so I hoped you would be the first to place on a posting and there you go…….you did. She is a wonderful lady is our Merlyn and she is the opitimee…the impatami, the apatamee…..she is a great example of what makes Carnival Cruise Lines’ crew the best in the business. I have passed on your kind regards and she was THRILLED. Thanks to you and Dave whom I picture now in your bloogers shirts sitting in the Victoriana Lounge.
MAMAW G – Here are the demographics you requested for the cruise of September 22nd…………..your cruise.
GUESTS ONBOARD – 2,988
INTERNATIONAL GUESTS – 754…………MOSTLY FROM AUSTRALIA, THE U.K. AND MEXICO.
GUESTS UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE………..27
NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO WILL FIND SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT…………T.B.A.
Now you asked if Mr and Mrs Kurtz meant to miss the ship in Venice and after speaking to them I assure you they did not, especially as it cost them a few hundred Euros in hotel and travel expenses. Don’t worry, I will not let you miss the vessel. See you very soon and have a safe flight here.
DWA 76 – What a great idea and after reading your posting Heidi has presented her with a Carnival Scrapbook………….Heidi said her smile lit up the port side of the ship…………………that is thanks to you mate.

NOW THE COMMENTS FROM THE BLOG CALLED SUNSET PART 2

PEANUTS – You asked how long it takes for a package to reach us here on the Carnival Freedom? Sometimes it gets from the states and Canada within 12 days but I know some people who have been kind enough to send packages that have yet to arrive. How kind of you to ask if you can send packages to the address at the side of the blog thingy which indeed you can and really though it is not necessary…………………….but if you do please include food. I am glad that you and so many others are enjoying the sunset photos and there will be many more to come…………..Gary and Heidi will make sure of that.
CRUISERANNE – You are welcome and how wonderfully you described your feelings when watching a sunset………especially the word “languid” ………….I am going to use that word as much as I can in the future. Have a languid night ……..see, I told you…….and thanks for reading the blog thingy.
SOUTHERNDREAMS – wishing you many, many more sunsets together.
SAMOU – Right, lets answer your questions then. How many big production shows are held on the Carnival Freedom you ask?…………….The answer is 3. They are called The Big Easy, Jump, Jive and Wail and Ticket To Ride. We compliment these with the finest variety entertainers at sea and I know you will find the shows to be one of the best parts of your cruise.
You then asked what tour I suggest you take in Rome when you disembark. Well, for me the answer to that one is not so easy. In my opinion you have to see the Vatican but that is unfortunately closed on a Sunday which of course the 28th is. Therefore, I suggest you take The Best Of Rome which will include all the other major sites including the Coliseum, The Trivi Fountain etc. After the tour the bus will drop you in the center of Rome or at the airport. Can you tell me the name of the Hotel you have booked and when you do I will advise you of the best way to get there after the tour has finished. I hope you are excited at the prospect of your forthcoming cruise and I am here should you need anything further. Cheers.
GREG AND CINDY COURINGTON – I wouldn’t bother packing huge Halloween costumes on your cruise of October 16th as I know Trans Atlantic flying limits the ability to pack too much these days. If enough people want to “play” we will of course have a pre-Halloween event and I promise that will be lots of fun. Not long to count now……….see you soon.
MARILYN VISCHIO – Glad you are enjoying the photos and there will be more sunset ones very soon.
TERRI910 – Hello Terri. You asked how many guests aged under 18 the Carnival Freedom carried during its August cruising when the school holiday’s were in full swing. I just checked my records and during the last cruise in July through to the first cruise in September the ship carried 2189 guests under 18………………….that’s over three 12-day cruises. The demographics have certainly changed now though as we have just 20 something guests aged under 18. I am glad to hear that you are now considering a 2008 Baltic cruise on the Carnival Splendor. You asked a few questions so let me answer them as best I can.
WEATHER IN THE BALTIC – Well, it this year is anything to go on it is going to be hot. St.Petersburg had record temperatures but even at normal levels the ports will all be blessed with sunshine and temperatures between 70 and 80 degrees during July and August. I do remember on the Carnival Legends cruise to the Baltic thinking how hot it was and how surprised I was.
DEMOGRAPHICS OF THE GUESTS – I expect this to be the same as here on the Carnival Freedom perhaps with a few less children………… Obviously, we have to wait and see and I will also try and get some information from reservations regarding this as soon as I can. I hope you will seriously consider this wonderful adventure and I remain at your service should you need any further prompting…………go on………………book a cruise………….it is going to be a wonderful adventure.

OK, I have to stop there and will continue later tonight with more Q and A.

I am so sorry I did not post a blog yesterday, I just ran out of hours and that drives me absolutely mad. Anyway, I will make sure I catch up on all the questions tomorrow so that we can get up to date. Once again, my apologies for yesterday.

Today, I received a plaque marking my 20 years with this great company plus a diamond pin…………………I wanted to share them with you so here they are.

We are now just about to leave the port of Cannes and yet again we have two missing guests……………..Mr and Mrs. Crocket. They have 10 minutes to get here.

Happy Birthday to the Queen Elizabeth 2. Here is the correspondence I received from Ms Carol Marlow, Cunard’s President and Managing Director.

Happy Birthday QE2!

We have had a great day here on QE2 in Greenock, the place of her birth, with over 200 visitors to the ship, many of whom who worked on the ship when she was built, and local dignitaries, and we had a great fly past by the Red Arrows….and then 3 cheers throughout the ship at 14.28 to commemorate the time that Her Majesty named the ship back in 1967. Wonderful!

What a wonderful way to say happy birthday to a ship who will forever be one of the most famous ships in the world. Let us raise a glass of something tonight and say “Happy Birthday.”

Nope, they didn’t make it…………….the Crockets…………..they will have to fly to Livorno tomorrow as we are sailing away.

I have to vent…………….I know I should not but I have to…………………and in advance I have to say that Carnival are going to be very happy that there is a disclaimer at the side of this blog thingy…………..they are going to need it.

Today, was a very busy day. Once the tender service was finished this morning (2,600 off in 2 hours, twenty minutes) I had a long meeting with Jonathan Blackburn who we hire much of our fly on entertainment through for the carnival Freedom and will do so next year from the Carnival Splendor as well. His acts are just amazing and he has such a variety of top entertainers on his books many of whom I know bloggers who have cruised this year with me have enjoyed so much.

Anyway, I digress. After an hour or so of scheduling I was hungry…………what a shocker I hear you cry. So, up to the Lido Deck we went for some grazing time. Most guests were off the ship enjoying Cannes so I was surprised to see so many people at the food service lines. It was then that I remembered we had 100 visitors onboard from Cannes who were here as Travel Agents inspecting the ship………………which we want them to do.

As Jonathan, Heidi and I were getting our food (I was ordering the spicy Mongolian Wok which is so spicy it hurts………twice) I heard a bit of a commotion across the other side of the Lido. There, standing at the salad bar was a tall French lady with blonde hair that had a large black stripe down the middle………she was shouting……………I mean screaming at one of our Indonesian service staff. Why ?……………..well he was trying to tell her that she was not allowed to smoke…………..he was being as polite as he could but she was having none of it………..waving her hands around pointing at the guest identification tag she was wearing. The waiter then said in English “no smoking” and again she shouted in fast and brittle French………………and do you know what she did……………and we could not believe our eyes………….she took one last drag, dropped the cigarette onto the marble floor and ground her heel into it to stub it out…………………………..I was fuming…………………I mean steam was coming out from all parts of my body, not just the usual places (jellybean reference )……………….this…………..this………………….thing had just done that with out a care in the world……………….what a complete and utter female canine.

She then picked up a plate and started helping herself to salad.

I then looked at the waiter who had gone to get some napkins from the line and was about to bend over to clean up Cruella Devilles’ ash ………………….I decided to act.

I knew Jonathan spoke fluent French as he lived in Nice for many years and grabbed his arm and pulled him along with me towards the scene of the crime. I gently maneuvered the waiter out of the way and took the napkins from his hand telling him many thanks and to go back to work. I then approached Cruella and tapped her on the shoulder…………..she looked round and said “wee”………………yep I thought, that’s what you are a lanky streak of wee……………..what I actually said was ………excuse me madam, please use this napkin and clean up your cigarette and ash………………..she then as expected said something in French which probably translated to “go away you ugly fat Englishmen.” I then waived Jonathan over and asked him to explain that unless who I was and that if she did not do as requested I would have her removed from the vessel immediately. Jonathan then translated in French what I had said but obviously he didn’t know how to say Cruise Director as those were the only words I understood. She looked at me and I looked at her …………there was then a standoff that John Wayne at the OK Corral would have been proud of …………until she snatched the napkin from my hand, walked over to the ash and cigarette, picked up the remains of the cigarette …………mopped up the ash………..and as she did so the various guests who had been watching started applauding and cheering……………….Cruella then turned on her heels and still holding the napkin in her hand walked away her hand raised in what was definitely not a message of love and as she did so she said something in French which Jonathan told me had something to do with miss kissing a certain part of her body………….and on our first date as well.

After this incident many guests told me how wonderful they thought I had been in making her do this and how dare she etc etc.

Why did I get so bothered by this? It would have been easy just to shrug my shoulders and walk away but it was the fact that she was so abusive to a staff member and as a visitor she thought that she had the right to do this. I have been here 8 months now and I think I am getting tired but bloody hell …………this is my home and I won’t have anyone abuse it or the people who work with me. How would she feel if I had done that in her house …………she would have probably set her dogs on me…………all 101 of them

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi

1. Can you tell us how long you have been working for Carnival Cruise Lines? What year did you start and what is your current position?

I have worked for Carnival for 3 years and my first ship was the Fantasy. I am the supper club chef onboard!

2. Where are you from and what is the best thing about living there.

I am from India and it is the best country in the world because it has everything. History, great food, beauty and the people are so nice.

3. Are you married? and tell us about some of your family.

I am married to my wife Shepta and we have 1 child, a boy of 10 named Ravi who wants to play cricket for India.

4. What does your job involve? Describe what you do each day.

Being a chef onboard, I am responsible for the “cold section” in the premium onboard supper club. I make the Sushi, the Carpaccio (it is very good) and the salad and vegetables. I am also helping with the deserts as well including the very fine chocolate ones.

5. What is the best thing about working on a cruise ship?

Visiting new places and having new adventures every week. Meeting lots of people and learning something new everyday.

6. What is the hardest thing about working on a cruise ship?

I miss my wife and my son but I know they will have a better life with me working here and providing the needful for them. I cry when I miss them.

7. Please tell us your favorite things.

FOOD – Fish curry is the best, very spicy called Vindaloo……………….(note from John, eat one of these and you will be “Intheloo”……………a lot)

MOVIE – Genuine Indian Movies are the best

MUSIC – Indian Music

FAVORITE WAY TO RELAX – Sleeping and praying.

8. If you could any other job on the ship for a day what would you like to do and why?

I want to move to cooking the meats and steaks and if I work hard then I think soon my boss will promote me.

9. FAVORITE PORT

Definitely Barcelona as I like the Indian restaurant and the cathedral where I go to church.

10. If you could meet one famous person in the world who would it be and why?

Shilpa Shetty, a beautiful Indian actress but my wife will be not happy.

It’s Tuesday at 2:45 pm and I have just a few minutes until my marriage show at 3:15 pm so I thought I would blog a little……..I am trying to remember what I did before I was enveloped into this world of the blogosphere but you know what……………..I just can’t remember.

Let me start with some great news and that is the guest who we disembarked for a medical emergency in Dubrovnik came out of intensive care this morning and hopefully within the next two weeks will be able to fly home. Once again we congratulate the wonderful medical staff here and I hope the guest continues to make a speedy recovery.

Anyway, I forgot to tell you some great news from the start of this cruise and I was reminded of this just now by a letter from a guest who had just gotten their luggage back. Anyway, this cruise we had only 28 missing bags at the start of the cruise and as of now we have only 8 outstanding……………seems things are getting better.

This morning started with a department head meeting followed by the Florence/Pisa and Debarkation talk and this afternoon I have the Marriage show and an afternoon show as well………….another busy day. The early show for second sitting (before dinner) has been well received and I have not heard any comments from guests to say they don’t like……….that however cannot be said about this delightful person:

Guest: Mrs Ref: 002712974A Owner: __________
Cabin: _____ Booking#:

______- Upset with Cruise Director and Smoking policy

Purser got a call from Mrs. who informed Purser that she had just heard the cruise directors announcement for guests to wash hands as often as they can. Mrs——- felt that the cruise director was treating her like a schoolgirl and she would wash her hands only when she wanted to. Purser explained that cruise director was helping the Infirmary because we did not want anybody to get sick which is happening on other ships in Europe and that washing hands was the best way. Mrs———- said that she was on vacation and that she could do what she wanted when she wanted and she did not want her day ruined by this announcement. Mrs———then said that she was being treated like bad person because there was nowhere to smoke on the ship and that she had paid the same price as others and she should be able to smoke when and where she wants to. Purser explained the smoking policy but guest shouted to tell the cruise director to contact her immediately and walked from the desk while the Purser was speaking.
Cruise Director informed and he will call the guest for follow up.

As of now I have not spoken to the guest and even when I do I am not sure what I am going to say. I truly understand that we have many areas we can improve on and also that guests have the right to find fault in some things that I say and do. However, making one or two announcements about washing hands that will result in guests not getting the dreaded noro bug…………….I don’t know how she can find fault with that…………….sometimes I really don’t know why I bother and I feel like saying OK, don’t wash your hands, get sick, spend 24 hours confined to your stateroom howling at the toilet……..see if I give a Brad Pitt (rhyming slang)…..but of course………I do care and I shall call, apologize and try to explain the virtues of my actions………….I feel tired today.

Here are today’s photos. I just got these in from Alarnya, one of the dancers from New Zealand and I thought I would share them with you……………..I know we left Dubrovnik some days ago but have a look at these.

I had better get on with some Q and A………starting with those from the blog called It Came From outer Space.

BONNIE – It seems that you are determined to sail in October and following all you have been through I am so very proud of you. Have you completed all the treatments and are there any special arrangements you will need me to make for you? Anyway, I am so glad that you are coming and I wish you could have been here to see the On Deck For The Cure gathering………it was inspirational. Best to Charlie and see you soon.
KEVIN AND HEIDI AND BETH – Hello you three and welcome home from what sounds like a great cruise. We missed you on the blog thingy and I am happy to hear that wee Jimmy impressed you…………..in that dress especially. I have forwarded your comments back to the Carnival Glory team so that they can see just how much you enjoyed the service and I know that your dining room staff of Ana and Carlos will appreciate this very much. How did the three of you get on in one cabin? Anyway, have fun reading the last few blogs that you may have missed and I hope to hear from you very soon. Welcome home.
GREG BALDASARRI – Brave words Young Skywalker……………….I fear the force will not be with the Spurs this year and that Messers Shaq and Wade will indeed inflict great punishment upon your boys and leave Tim looking like a Duncan Doughnut. Now, back to the Professor who feels that the ship will meet its maker thanks to the little green men from outer space. He truly believes that this was the reason the Titanic is sleeping with the fishes but I have to say …………..it was very strange listening to him but he stands by his words……………..its been a strange week. I know you must miss your Mum and I am sure you must have some wonderful memories of your time together which I hope you cherish. Thanks Greg and look forward to your upcoming Carnival Conquest cruise.
VICKI – Thanks Vicki and I am well on the road to recovery instead of being on the road to the bathroom which I traveled many times in the last few days. I have never seen the famous Green Flash sunset but we will keep taking photos to hopefully spot one. Hope all is well with you and thanks for reading the blog thingy.
M@ & RT – You asked about the mudslide which caused the Sorrento Road to be closed and if this is a usual event. This is actually the first time I have heard of this in the three seasons I have been here in Europe. We have had train strikes, fishing boats blocking the entrance to ports, bust strikes and erupting Volcanoes but never a mudslide. Kite flying…………….I have never seen it done……………can we do it from the back of the ship?……………….I have no idea…………..ROGER BLUM………have you ever seen this ?…………………..we will get back to you on this one mate. How right you are ……….there are always stories to tell here and that is why this blog is such a great tool to be able to share them with everyone. Hope you are enjoying them and all the best.
NANETTEALI – Don’t worry Nanni, the aliens have taken me away yet and if they do I shall ask them to take me to San Juan. Muchos Hugos.
BIG ED – The spice girls will be:
BIG ED……….BIG SPICE
ME………..BLOG SPICE
ALAN………UGLY SPICE
This means we need one more………….any suggestions?
CATHERINE EBERT – By the time you read this Catherine you will be on the way here. I am sure you will have a wonderful flight and please make sure you leave me a note when you are onboard. See you soon.
JULIE GANTT – Man whole cover indeed! Thanks though for the lovely words for Greg and I am happy to see that your friend won her battle. There are though many other battles ahead for many people which is why I am determined to keep On Deck for the Cure part of the schedule for as long as we can. Thanks Julie and please keep reading the blog thingy.
DAVE SOREFF – I did meet James the CD on the Emerald Princess and in fact I will be writing the review about the ship in the next few days. I was very impressed with the vessel and I hope my review does it justice. Tell Doug to put her down and email us. Cheers mate.
TOM AND JANE – Thanks Tom and thanks Jane for the kind words. It really is great to see so many people reading the blog thingy and I hope you continue to do so. See you soon and my best to you both.
KAYENTAJANE – you just made me smile…………many thanks.
NICO R – Hello mate and thanks for slapping on a post, its been a while. The Titanic story was indeed one to remember and is proof positive that it takes all sorts. With regard to you working onboard, did you ever hear from Chris Unstead? Please let me know mate. I see that you have booked a cruise on the Carnival Pride, a beautiful ship and one I know will provide you with a brilliant cruise. Please let me know if you need anything at all and all the best.
SUSAN B – You can tell Mr Cheap that when he cruises with me hew ill also get a free bottle of champagne as well. I am excited to hear that your friend from Cruise Critic enjoyed his Carnival Freedom cruise so much and I would be honoured if you let me know when he writes about the blog etc. Thank you for your kind words about the company and our parent company Princess Cruises as well……………..you are too kind…………..he is too cheap………..you are too kind Seriously, please send my best to your entire family and I very much looking forward to meeting you all.
KEVIN – Congratulations on your blog reaching 6000 slaps, that is fantastic. I will chase my friends up about your resume and also please do not forget to tell me a few days before you sail on the Miracle and let me know the cabin number. Bearing in mind your past history and all I have read I do not think you have any choice but to go for……………….ASTON MARTIN DB9 VOLANTE…………..BLACK WITH BLACK LEATHER……………………what do you think?
M @ &RT – You asked about Fatima and what she did…………It pains me to relive this but I suggest you click on this link.
http://johnheald.wordpress.com/2007/08/11/holland-america-turkey-and-the-greeks/ I suggest you read this in the accompaniment of a large scotch! ………….enjoy.
DAVID STARK – I hope you get this message before you fly to join us for the next cruise. Just wanted to say “Have a safe flight” and Heidi is salivating at the thought of Canadian Syrup. You asked about restaurants in Rome for a truly romantic experience. I really suggest you head for Via Veneto which has a wonderful selection of restaurants, including the very romantic hotel and restaurant Excelsior. Please leave me a note when you get on board and we will see you very soon.
THE BEARS – CARL AND BARB – Just a quick note to say hello to you both and ask how you are feeling. We are both fine and Heidi is very happy to hear you are enjoying her photos so much. Looking forward to your next posting. Our kindest regards to you both.
DWA76 – Having the trots (or as my dad calls it “the wild googlies”) certainly is a good way to lose weight. I am glad you enjoyed the pictures of the Carnival Freedom and knowing this, I will post more soon. How’s things with you mate? Thank you for being such a great supporter of the blog.
BIG ED – It’s amazing how seeing a beautiful girl has suddenly inspired you to have a haircut. Watch out that Mrs. Big Ed doesn’t pick up the scissors and give you a Bobbit. You wouldn’t be Big Ed then…. You and I are getting in so much trouble on the bloggers cruise, can’t wait.
OKTEACH – You asked when the formal nights are on the TA cruise. It’s on Wednesday October 31 and on Thursday November 8. Have a look at this and tell me therefore, when you would like to make your Supper Club reservation. As for the Cruise Critic meet and greet, I suggest you do this after sailing from Rome as the first day is very busy and involves different travel schedules for everyone. If this is ok with you, let me know how many people you expect and we will reserve a lounge for you. Looking forward to hearing from you.
MARK TWAIN AND A HALF – Yes, Shimaila shows the diversity of our wonderful crew and I am not surprised you want a haircut. I laughed when I heard your report on your Spa experience and can you imagine some of the blog material that could be found in the Spa? Take care and my best to your other half.

We now move on to comments from “Preston Bircher Reports.”

M@&RT – By now, you would have seen my reply to your previous comment and I was happy to hear of your memories of meeting Preston and his mum on your Carnival Liberty cruise. I am not sure if I can give you a free couples massage, but how about a nice cold bottle of champagne for a canoli? You also asked about the size of our bathroom, which is a little bigger than most cabins which I was very happy with during my recent illness. You offered to bring me something from Arizona and Heidi would love a mug with your state mentioned on it and some good old Arizona spicy sauce would not go amiss. It’s amazing to hear that you have an English pub in Arizona and that they serve Spotted Dick. I have now found the two perfect reasons to visit Arizona, to see you and to enjoy my favorite desert. See you both soon.
SUSAN – Thank you for your comments, there will be another report from Preston in the weeks ahead. Please continue to enjoy the blog.
BIG ED – Are you?
MARY BUETOW – I am glad you enjoyed Preston’s report and I am very excited to see the new Carnival Inspiration. All the best to you.
KIM – I see you are a Carnival Inspiration fan and that is great to hear. I am sure though you will love the new and improved version just as much and we are excited to welcome her back to the family. Watch this space for more reports.
J TODDINMAN – We’ve missed you and your new masterpiece is my new favorite. My favorite line was “However hitting his target would take great skill.” We have all missed you very much and your poem was right on the money and felt like you had been there during my heave ho period. Hope you have been well and welcome back.
KEVIN – After his last posting we need to see if we can still call him Big Ed.
VIKKI AND MATT TILL – I promise you love the new Carnival Inspiration. Although she will have many new features, she will retain many of the original fittings that made her such a favorite ship for so many people.
Hope you are both well.
ERIC DeGRAVE – You are welcome and we will send more pictures very soon.
RAY CZENSZAK – There is no doubt from seeing the cruises you have been on and the future ones that you booked that you are indeed a loyal Carnival fan. As I have been saying to others you have nothing to fear and the Carnival Inspiration will continue to provide so many people with a wonderful vacation and will, no doubt, retain her popularity. Hope to see you on the Carnival Splendor and please let me know if you have any questions about the cruise to Buenos Aires. All the best.
OCEAN ANGEL – I am glad you have been enjoying the blog. I was sorry to hear that you have been on the Carnival Fantasy 3 times yet do not have a repeat guest pin. Unfortunately, on the shorter cruises we do not have a past guest function, however, let me see what I can find out and if they were ever made, I will make sure you will get one. If you have not heard back from me within 10 days, please ask me again, just in case I forget. I am so happy you are enjoying the blog.

OK, time to stop. I know I am way behind on answering the comments and questions but sea days are always so busy here but I will catch up……………….I promise.

I had a cup of coffee with Tara today (your saw her photo in yesterday’s blog) and she told me how liberating having On Deck for the Cure has been for her. Henceforth, she has not put her wig back on and is walking freely around the vessel bald as the day she was born. Tara has also said that she has meet many Breast Cancer survivors following the walk and has drawn inspiration from their stories, their battles and, most importantly, their survival. I have given her my private e mail address and she has promised to send me daily updates when she is home and begins her treatment again and I will keep you all informed as to how she is doing…………………..she had a little cry when I gave her a copy of the DVD showing us all walking and the musical tribute we played for her. We then had a laugh as two complete strangers came up and said “can we have a photo”……….of course I said standing up…………..no said the lady…………not with you………we want one with her…………..Tara’s face shone……….it was a priceless moment.

The seas are rougher than usual and I am uncertain if we can perform the shows this evening. It is very difficult for the dancers to perform on a moving ship as it is but when the seas are rough it can be very dangerous. On the Conquest, Spirit and Destiny class ships they perform in front of a deep orchestra pit and the sudden pitch of the vessel could result in a performer falling or worse falling into the pit………………….both could result in a career ending injury. It is now 6:30 pm and I am meeting with the Dance Captain Ian to see if he feels it is OK to perform the shows. Ultimately it is his decision which I respect and support fully. The last thing I want to do is to say “you will do the shows” and then something happens that injures a dancer……………..I would never forgive myself.

The Captain has told me that the weather will remain windy and the seas choppy until 2 am when we get closer to land and therefore it is decision time……………I am off to meet Ian and let you know what we decide to do in a moment.

OK, I am back……………did you miss me? Well, Ian has decided that the cast can perform the shows providing it does not get any worse and if it does we will have to stop the performance. So, as the show starts in 15 minutes I need to wrap up today’s blog thingy so I can get backstage and be there to support the cast and in case we need to stop the show…………………it really is quite rocky and bumpy now.

In closing I want to tell you about the time when we had a guest performer in the middle of one of the production shows. I was reminded about him by a blogger yesterday and you will have seen me mention his name……the infamous Wild Willy. His name is known around the fleet and he cruises all the time. He is one of the Carnival “regulars.” He is flamboyant, extravert and honestly he can be a pain in the……………….neck. Wild Willy, a title he calls himself because he says he is related to Jessie James won the lottery in the late 1990′s. How much?……..well some say millions…………but nobody really knows. One thing is for certain; he spends nothing onboard and is always on the look out for something for nothing. Wild Willy’s biggest problem is…………….women and it is a constant battle in keeping him in order. He is harmless but does like to be around the young ladies even though he is in his eighties himself.

Anyway, last year on the Carnival Liberty the cast were performing a show called Rock Down Broadway and during the number dedicated to the band Abba and in particular the number “Dancing Queen,” Wild Willy decided he would join the show. So, up the steps he walked, in a pair of shorts, a shirt that is usually worn by someone you see getting arrested in front of a trailer in the TV show Cops and to the amusement of the audience he started to dance.

Now, while the audience is laughing, we are all dashing to the stage fearing that this 80-something-year-old man may fall into the Orchestra Pit and seriously hurt himself and others. The backstage manager ran out and I also sprinted (OK, walked fast) from the back of the theatre and picked him up and carried him off stage, his legs kicking at air in protest. Walking to the back of the theatre he received the mixed emotions of applause from some (mostly those with alcoholic beverages in front of them) and looks of disgust from others. The backstage manager ran back to the show leaving me to chastise old Wild Thing about the dangers of what he had done and informed him that if repeated he may be asked to leave the vessel…………it was then that I noticed that in all the excitement Wild Willy’s …………….. ummmmmm …………. Willy ………….. ummmm……….had …….ummmm…..caused a yellow puddle to form at our feet……………………….oh joy……………….he looked at me and said……….”oh, I had better go and change” and with that he left leaving me to say to myself “John, urine the wrong job.”

Wild Willy eventually calmed down and for a few days he was OK……………until he repeated his previous problem on a tour bus going to Pisa………………………. he is a character OK and I am not surprised other bloggers mentioned him. I have not seen him since last year but I am sure one day I will see him walk up the gangway again as the wild thing returns.

Off to the show

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi

Carl Franklin: The following is a podcast by John Heald. It does not express the opinions of Carnival Corporation & PLC or of Carnival Cruise Lines.

[Music]

Carl Franklin: And we got fun! It’s the John Heald Podcast with John Heald, Senior Cruise Director of Carnival Cruise Lines. Coming up, John interviews John Cleese! Right now, everyone under 40 is thinking, “Who?” What? Are you kidding me? The Ministry of Silly Walks? The Fish-Slapping Dance? Fawlty Towers? Come on, Google it! You’ll learn something. What, I have no idea. Oh okay, here’s John and John.

John Heald: Hello.

John Cleese: Hi, can you hear me?

John Heald: I can hear loud and clear, sir.

John Cleese: Good.

John Heald: Thank you very much for taking your time to come from whatever you’re doing, which I’m sure is far more important than what you’re about to do for the next few minutes. Can you tell us what you’re actually doing on the Queen Mary at the moment?

John Cleese: Oh, I was actually working out when I realized I was five minutes late for our chat, but prior to that I’ve been reading most of the day. I had lunch with one of the lecturers, a fellow who has been to the North Pole and the South Pole on foot and has climbed Everest, but told me couldn’t find his way about the boat. I met him on the first day. He was walking around completely lost and I told him if he is like this on a boat, how did he find the North Pole so easily. There’s not a great deal of signage.

John Heald: So, no signs at the North Pole. Now, you did a little interview with the wonderful Ray Rouse on the stage and in front of all the people. How was that received? How did that go?

John Cleese: Very badly, unfortunately. Most of the people walked out in the first 10 or 15 minutes and there was someone at the back who had a supply of rotten fruits. They kept hitting me instead of Ray, so it was a disaster really. Would you agree, Ray?

Ray Rouse: Yeah, yeah. It was terrible. It was terrible. Terrible.

John Heald: I think the biggest thing to come out of that statement is we just make a note that they have rotten fruit on the Queen Mary.

John Cleese: Oh no! They brought it on. They smuggled it in.

John Heald: Okay. Many of the people who wrote on the blog, obviously, they want to know about a lot of things, I expected the Fawlty Towers and Monty Python references, but loads and loads of people had read your book.

John Cleese: The “Families” book. Good, good! [a self help psychology book written by therapist Robin Skynner and comedian John Cleese]

John Heald: Yes, “Families and How to Survive Them,” and what’s happened now if you look at the newest blog is everybody’s commenting that they were rushing off to buy the book. How long ago did you write that book?

John Cleese: I think it came out at about 1983 and for 10 years, it sold 400 a week without any advertising, so that was just on word of mouth, 10 years. Unfortunately, if you add that up or if you multiply that up mathematically, it doesn’t come out to such a huge sum as the big bestsellers make, but I was very proud of it and it goes on selling. I’ve really met almost no one in the psychiatric business who doesn’t recommend it to their patients. It’s very good. The second book was not as good, although there are one or two marvelous sections in it including interestingly, a section on religion.

John Heald: The people on the blog are all saying that they’re all rushing out and buying it. I have read it myself and just before the interview, I read a few chapters again.

John Cleese: Oh good!

John Heald: I just think it’s absolutely — you know, for me, it gave the information if you have some demons, it was…

John Cleese: It’s useful information for everybody. I just quoted a T-shirt and I’ve quoted a greetings card that somebody sent me about three months ago, which said, “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” Right? As you get to know people, you begin to realize we’ve all got I believe idiosyncrasies or we’re all a little strange in one way or another. For example, a fellow I know very well absolutely refuses to go into a wet fish shop in sandals. Now, he handles a great deal of life very, very well, but I have no idea what he thinks is going to happen if he goes into a wet fish shop in sandals. So, we’ve all got these little peculiarities and as Robin says it’s all to do with learning lessons and it’s appropriate at each stage to learn a lesson. If we’ve missed out on the lesson for some reason like in the worst possible circumstance if we lose a parent, then we can gain that experience, or rather we can learn that experience for the first time would be a better way of putting it, if we can find a substitute figure and go through the same relationship with them. The only thing is that if you missed out on a stage, you sometimes feel a little bit ashamed that you have quite mastered that thing, so then you start pretending that it’s not really a problem and that, I’m afraid, is where the problem arises. Robin always used to say having a problem isn’t a problem. Once you deny you’ve got a problem, that’s a problem. It’s still absolutely current whereas the life and how to survive it — well, because a lot of stuff in it are partly economics and partly political, but it’s now very out of date, but it’s got a wonderful chapter on humor as well. I think I had mentioned that, I’m afraid.

John Heald: Yeah. I’m very grateful that you did mention it because, as I said, everybody’s buying it. For me, it was so well written in such a way that anyone and everyone could understand it and get something positive from it. So, everybody’s talking about it. Again, the cruise line that I work for and the people who are reading the blog, although they tend to cruise on pretty much all the world’s lines, the demographics are so different. I mean we’ve got a guy who drives a truck full of chickens from Alabama to North Carolina and we’ve got a heart surgeon who just retired and lives in Jersey and who’s a friend of mine. Actually, I think you’re going to be there in October sometime he mentioned in Jersey. You’re doing a lecture or something.

John Cleese: Oh, you are quite right. Yes, I am. I’m doing a fundraiser for what used to be called the Jersey Zoo and must now be called the Jarrell or Durrell Wildlife or something. Anyway, it’s a great conservation organization.

John Heald: So, I saw that you are about to start filming for the new Pink Panther movie. Two quick questions, did you ever meet or work with the late great Mr. Sellers?

John Cleese: Yes. I actually knew him quite well at one stage. Just before “Peyton” started in the late 1960s, Graham Chapman and I wrote three film scripts for him of which one was made called The Magic Christian and I also actually appeared in that movie with him, as did Graham. I was playing a snotty, young employee of Sotheby’s, the art dealers, and I also did believe that they launched a televised Goon Show with all of them, with Milligan and Harry Secombe whom I knew quite well and Sellers. I was playing the part of Wallace Greenslade. So, I had quite a lot of contact with him over a period of time and he was very, very kind to me. I went on holiday once in Cypress and I discovered that Peter was shooting a film called Ghost In The Noonday Sun, which is I’m afraid turned out pretty terribly. I’m not sure they ever actually released it, but anyway he found I was on the island and I went out and said hello, what they were shooting, and the next thing is he invited me to stay in his magnificent villa.

John Heald: Wow.

John Cleese: So, I had a week, of course he was working most of the time, but they were extremely kind to me and that rather unpleasant book about him written by some English journalist — well, they wouldn’t write anything other than an unpleasant book if they’re British journalists — that he wanted me to be in the movie. I refused to be in it because I disliked the book so much. I’m sure he could be extremely difficult and a bit crazy sometimes. As I say, he was unrelentingly kind to me and he was wonderful company because he loves to laugh and of course he was unbelievably funny.

John Heald: How do you think he would take the remake of probably the movie that he was most famous for? Do you think he’d be happy with them?

John Cleese: I don’t know. I saw the first one and it was done completely differently. Steve has got a quite different idea of how to play Clouseau and I think he’s going to be terribly interesting because I’ve been working with Steve a little bit on the script. He’s a good friend and he actually lives in the same little town that I do in California. It’s a sort of snobby part of Santa Barbara called Montecito. Steve has a magnificent house up on the hill with a phenomenal view over the bay. He’s got his astronomical telescopes because he likes looking up at the heavens. We had a couple of little sessions together talking about the script and they’ve already shot about five days in Paris. I think they’re probably just about starting to re-shoot the whole thing beginning tomorrow. No, not re-shoot, but continue shooting tomorrow and then I join them right at the end of the movie in Boston the last couple of weeks of October.

John Heald: And what’s your role, Mr. Cleese? What are you going to be playing?

John Cleese: The character is called Dreyfus.

John Heald: Yes, yes.

John Cleese: Herbert Lom character, Clouseau’s superior, who is driven insane by the fact that he thinks Clouseau is an idiot, but Clouseau of course always finishes up winning the glory of the Medals of Honor.

John Heald: Are you one of those people who when you see these parts, you know you’re going to be talking in a French accent? Does the French accent come naturally to you?

John Cleese: Yes, pretty much so. I’ve been listening very carefully to one of the guys in the restaurant, Alexis, because I like his accent and I’ve been practicing a little bit under bated breath when he is not standing too close, but I never rush into anything. I’ll do various accents during the rehearsal period, which just consist of sitting there, reading the script and thinking about it and reading the lines out loud. I’ve always liked to do that. Tony Hopkins learns every line. He’s got about 200 times – or some extreme – he just goes on and on learning. So after a while it becomes so effortless you don’t have to think of it. So, I think he’s a great actor, just sitting there learning his lines so much, but that’s how he does it.

John Heald: Well, I’m sure the film’s going to be a huge success. I can’t wait to see it. When your name flashes on the screen, you now have 650,000 devoted viewers who are going to be seeing it.

John Cleese: Nice.

John Heald: I think when you’re finished you’ll have some time for relaxation. I mentioned in one of the questions I sent you about some of the great places that you’ve seen. I know you mentioned the Far East. Unfortunately, it isn’t the safest of places to go. But you mentioned Argentina and Chile, so I am going to be sending to somebody to get to you some information about a little 17-day cruise we have around Argentina and Chile next year.

John Cleese: Well, that sounds perfect. That sounds absolutely perfect.

John Heald: It’s good. Just before I ask the last question…

John Cleese: Yes?

John Heald: What makes you laugh? What makes you laugh these days? If you want a good belly laugh, do you turn on the television? Do you read? What makes you…?

John Cleese: There’s not a great deal of comedy that I laugh out loud at anymore, though I did have some really good laughs at a very good English comedy called Death at a Funeral, which I saw about a week ago and it was directed by an old, old friend of mine called Frank Oz. Frank is in The Muppets. He used to be Miss Piggy. He is a very good director. The funniest thing I’ve seen for a very long time. Otherwise, I’ve got to say President Mr. Bush gives me some pretty good laughs. I mean I just love the way that he explains things to you as though you were stupider than he was and that I find just gets me katrak sometimes.

John Heald: Did you see the photo that they put out yesterday? I don’t know if you saw it.

John Cleese: No.

John Heald: He’s just come back from — Americans, not that we are Bush-bashing, we’re just stating facts here. I mean we’ve got our own Bushes just left for…

John Cleese: I thought he still got a 30% approval rate, so 70% of Americans do want to get rid of him.

John Heald: Yes, 70%.

John Cleese: It has to be fair. There are people living in swamps in Alabama…

John Heald: Yeah, we have to be fair.

John Cleese: who think he’s terrific and very, very [unintelligible] Rupert Murdoch and all his employees on FOX Noise.

John Heald: Well, there was a photo that just came out. I just saw it yesterday. It’s hitting all the sites. He has just been in — was it Iraq?

John Cleese: Australia.

John Heald: And one of the generals gave him a pair of binoculars to view the troops and view the sites and everything and he put the binoculars up to his eyes and there’s a wonderful photo of him looking into the distance with the caps still on the binoculars.

John Cleese: Well, that suits him. That’s just the kind of reconnaissance he wanted to do in Iraq. If he actually saw what was going on there, he’d have to change his policy. So, that’s just hilarious. I mean they were all saying how wonderful Petraeus isn’t doing a great job. They forget that about four weeks before the last election, Petraeus wrote a remarkable column in a major newspaper, I think it may have been The Washington Post, saying how well things were going in Iraq. That was two-and-a-half years ago. So, I’m not entirely sure that we should lap up every word that he says about present progress. Maybe he hadn’t been paying attention when he wrote the column. I don’t think that’s the most unbiased view. Maybe that’s how he became a commander in Iraq.

John Heald: It’s good to hear you laugh. I’m sure the content will cause a lot of comments on the blog, which is what we want.

John Cleese: Good.

John Heald: But obviously, you have caused, I don’t know, countless incomparable amounts of people to just laugh until tears run down their faces.

John Cleese: Basically, I have provided meaning to many people’s lives that would have been totally absent.

John Heald: You have.

John Cleese: And in this way, I think I have probably saved many million people – especially the British – from suicide. So, I look at myself as a very, very wonderful person.

John Heald: I was personally contemplating throwing myself off the white cliffs of Dover until I saw you on the television. I mean you look at Fawlty Towers, and I tend to overanalyze everything and it drives my wife crazy, but if you look at the big themes inside Fawlty Towers, it covered everything, didn’t it? I mean death and xenophobia, sexophobia, psychology. I guess the question is, when you were writing that and dealing with all of these big themes, did they just happen or did you say, “This is what I want to cover before I write Fawlty Towers”?

John Cleese: No. I think it’s always a little bit dangerous to plan that kind of thing in advance. I think Tony Booth and I kind of discovered the character rather than created this because it was a strange sort of feeling that the character was there and we just had to sort of — do you remember? I think it was Michelangelo who was asked how you sculpted a rhinoceros and he said something like “you get a big block of marble and you knock away all the bits that don’t look like a rhinoceros.” It felt a bit like that with Basil as though the character was there and we just had to dig around a little bit to find it, but we never intentionally set out to make the sort of points that you’re talking about. At the same, for example, Tony and I were very interested in psychology and psychiatry and we noticed how the English feel it’s absolutely shameful to be depressed, which is so many of them are so depressed so much of the time because if you can actually feel the sadness underneath depression it goes away and if you just refuse to sort of let it in or refuse to experience it then it just stays there. So, we occasionally put that kind of stuff in, but it was because it was already in our minds, not because we had it planned.

John Heald: Obviously, the success, it doesn’t need me to preach about that, but I think it came across as so many different styles of the English traits, I mean the Englishman being proud to be the king of his castle. You got this I guess from this gentleman who was a manager at a hotel where you and the Monty Python team were staying. I remember a comment years and years ago that I read that you described him as “deliciously rude,” which those two words have always stayed with me.

John Cleese: Yes.

John Heald: Could you just give us a quick example of what he did that made him deliciously rude?

John Cleese: Well, he just made every guest feel as though they were a complete nuisance and dragging him away from his job. I always used to say that he really embodied the motto of many British hoteliers, which is “we could run this place properly if it wasn’t for the guests.” That’s what summed it up. So, if he was sitting at the desk staring into the distance and he saw someone coming, he would pretend to be busy just to make them feel bad about interrupting him.

John Heald: Obviously, the Fawlty Towers references could go on and on. I just have one last question with that and then the final question. This one was chosen by the viewers. We did a little charity thing and we have one gentleman called Danny Salmon who is actually from the UK, he donated £1000 to Amnesty International, which I believe is one of the charities that you are…

John Cleese: Oh, terrific. Yes, yes.

John Heald: So, here’s his question and it’s very simple. What’s your own personal favorite episode of Fawlty Towers and why?

John Cleese: Well, there are three or four. Dear me. Well, if I have to choose one, probably the rat.

John Heald: Basil the Rat?

John Cleese: Basil the Rat.

John Heald: Great answer. Finally, before I let you get back to the gym by the ice cream machine, let’s talk about your table. I asked Mr. Cleese if he could choose anybody to sit with at dinner across from him…

John Cleese: Right.

John Heald: Alive or no longer and what a wonderful group of people you’ve chosen. We have Charlie Chaplin, the King of Silent Comedy of course; Carl Gustav Jung, who if I remember my schooldays is a Swiss psychiatrist. Am I correct?

John Cleese: Yes. He was a very, very close friend of Freud, but he broke with Freud because he believed that the spiritual impulse in man was very, very important, which Freud regarded as a delusion. I think he’s come up with a view, things like introvert and extrovert and also the typing, Myers-Briggs typing of personality is based on his ideas about personality. I just think he’s a marvelously interesting man. I saw him interviewed in the 1950s by John Freeman and I just thought he was a great man. There was just something about him.

John Heald: And then sitting next to him on his left would be Richard Feynman. What can you tell us about him? I’m not familiar.

John Cleese: He was a terrific scientist, absolutely brilliant, everything he touched, but he had an absolutely extraordinary ability to communicate. What I love about him was that he just seemed to be curious about everything. If he wasn’t solving atomic physics or talking to students, he’d go off and drum. So, he was just a man full of life and even when he knew he had cancer, he’s still desperately curious about everything that was going on, so just a totally admirable scientist.

John Heald: And then of course on his left, from all the actors in the world, you’ve chosen Cary Grant.

John Cleese: Yes.

John Heald: What was your reason for choosing him?

John Cleese: I don’t know what it is about that man, I really don’t, but every time I see a picture of him, I suppose he sums to me a kind of elegance. I think he was a very intelligent and a very curious man. When I did the Bond movies, Barbara Broccoli told me a lot about him because she used to know him when she was young. I just think he was a marvelous actor and a very decent human being and I would love to have met him and of course, he is down from my part of the country, down there by Bristol.

John Heald: He’s down there by Bristol. I didn’t know where to put this next person, so I put him in between Cary and your lovely wife who we’ll talk about in a moment, so I put Jesus Christ next to Cary Grant and your wife on the table of Simon. I hope that’s all right.

John Cleese: If he’s sitting next to my wife, He won’t be able to get a word in edgeways, but you’ve arranged the tables.

John Heald: Yeah. Obviously, your wife travels a lot with you.

John Cleese: Yes, she certainly…

John Heald: Obviously much less, but as they say behind every great man, there’s a wonderful lady. I know that very much myself.

John Cleese: Absolutely right live in my case because she’s a little bit late coming out of the spa.

John Heald: Ah. Okay. How did you meet her? Do you mind me asking?

John Cleese: No, I don’t mind. She was prescribed for me by my doctor. I went to dinner with him once.

John Heald: She was…

John Cleese: We were both celebrating.

John Heald: Has he got any more?

John Cleese: Any more? Yes, I’m sure! I always used to say to get me girls because he also found me a wonderful assistant once who assisted me all the way through A Fish Called Wanda and finished up running BBC Live Entertainment.

John Heald: Quite a table and a lovely lady to complement it. So, here’s the last question. You’re at dinner. You’ve got Charlie Chaplin, you’ve got Carl Gustav Jung, Richard Feynman, Cary Grant, Jesus Christ, your wife, and your good self. The appetizer is served. The water is poured and Jesus served the wine of course. They all look at you and you have to start the conversation. What do you say?

John Cleese: Oh, I would ask Jesus Christ, I would say, “What’s it all about then?”

John Heald: What’s it all about then?

John Cleese: Yeah.

John Heald: Well, I thank you very much for your time. I know, again, that you’ve got lots of things to do. On behalf of all 650,000 people, all of which I hope will rush out and buy your book and Fawlty Towers and all the things that are associated with your illustrious career, and every time I watch you on television or on a movie you leave me with a little something and…

John Cleese: Well, I am a very wonderful and very warmhearted and immensely talented human being and it is always nice when someone recognizes it because it shows what excellent taste they have. So, may I just congratulate you in my turn on your taste?

John Heald: Thank you. Unfortunately, we’ve just run out of film before you started saying that, but never mind.

Carl Franklin: All right you under 40 people. Now, you know what I’m talking about. John Cleese! Yeah, that guy! Hey, you can read John Heald’s blog at johnheald.wordpress.com and Heald is spelled H-E-A-L-D. Thanks for listening to the John Heald Podcast. We’ll catch you next time.

Here are the sunset photos taken after sailing from Venice and Dubrovnik. These were taken by Entertainment Staff member Gary. I hope you enjoy them.

Goodnight

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John and Heidi