Good Afternoon everyone. How was your weekend? Things here have been as hectic as usual as we cruise towards Livorno. The weather has been just super for the entire cruise and again…………no sign of rain…………….can this continue for the rest of the season?……………I hope so.
Many of you have been asking what I actually won for the Seatrade thingy award. Well, here is a photo of what I have won.
Sorry…………I entered the realms of fantasy again
Here David Dingle, Chief Executive Officer of Carnival U.K. accepting the trophy award from Mary Bond, Editor, Seatrade Cruise Review & Seatrade Insider
I am sure my Dad will add that to the Carnival shrine that is his office.
Do you remember the man who told me that I had mentioned the Adriatic instead of the Aegean Sea when we passed through the Dardanelles? Well, this morning I found another unsigned note from the mystery man with 8 days of Carnival Capers attached. The had sat down and had found a total of 4 spelling mistakes and 14 grammatical errors. The note simply read:
“GO BACK TO SCHOOL”
The four spelling mistakes included the word “color” spelt “colour” but the others were indeed stupid mistakes by me which must have been there since February and even longer as I know I used the same Capers last year on the Carnival Liberty. The worst one of them all was the words “Formal Night,” which I had spelt “FormelNight.”…………………..bugger.
Anyway, I wish I could thank the guest but he remains mysterious and veiled in a cloak of secrecy. It also shows that even though I proof read the Capers every day that I have missed a simple word like Formel………………..Bugger !
Here are today’s photos as taken by Full-Time Photographer and very occasionally Entertainment Staff Gary. His chosen subject………..Our passage past the Stromboli Volcano.
Here are the letters from today’s In Their Own Words section.
Here is today’s Joke Of The Day
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The second old guy says, “That’s OK, It’s a coincidence: I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The first old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”
The second old guy says, “Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?”
To which the first old guy says, “Doesn’t matter. I’d rather find yours.”
Here is today’s Q and A starting with one last one from the interview with Rick Meadows followed by the last few from the blog called A Happy Ending. To skip the Q&A, click here.
PETER WARD – Welcome home Peter from your extended European Vacation ………..you sound like the Griswold’s. Thanks so much for the magazine (Heidi got jealous and drew a moustache on AJ’s face) and also many thanks for the congratulations on the entertainment of which we are very proud of. I hope you will do as you suggested and cruise with us again and also please keep reading the blog thingy. Our best to you and the family.
MRS MTSFP – My Mum has now taken a personal interest in making sure you successfully cook Bubble and Squeak. Here is her simplified recipe for it with instructions as follows:
1. Boil the potatoes until tender, drain and allow to get quite cold.
2. Steam the cabbage until tender and plunge in cold water.
3. Finely chop and crush the potatoes.
4. In a frying pan melt the butter and fry the leeks gently without browning until softened.
5. Drain the cabbage well and mix in the potatoes and leeks. Season with grated nutmeg and salt and pepper.
6. Take tablespoons of the mixture and shape into round cakes.
7. Fry them in hot beef dripping to a good crisp golden brown on both sides.
Now, try this and let me know what you think. Mum asks if you have any recipes you would like to share with her? All the best and hope to hear that it was a success.
DAWN – We are very thankful to you and your travel company for the constant support of Carnival and long may it continue. Thanks again and I hope you are enjoying the blog.
SUSAN B – Thanks Susan for being so kind. I certainly will not be able to keep up the intensity of the blogs but I will be able to up or down load some audio blogs as well as some guest interview stuff so it will live on. I am going to fight the showing of Noting Hill but knowing that my wife gets her way all the time I guess I might as well give up now. Thanks Susan and I hope you will find time to read the blog and best regards from Heidi and I.
KEVIN – I agree with you mate. Big Ed must be watched at all times so therefore I have made sure that you and he share a cabin. I want to know if he is a spy for the opposition and if so he must be dealt with accordingly. I am going to call you Kevin Powers and Big Ed will now be known as Dr.Big Ed Evil……………..lets discover the truth.
CRUISIN SUE – With regard to the Sam, I think you mean Sam Simmonds a different Sam who was seeing my mate Corey. This is the other Sam, very quiet but WOW what a dancer. Hope she is reading this. I will try and keep the momentum going with the blog while on holiday and hopefully this will tide us all over while until January. You will be here soon and may I ask you to please leave a note when you get here at the Information Desk. Have a safe flight and see you soon.
LV2CRUISE – I am glad you liked the story about the Middleton’s, it certainly was inspiring and was even more special because of the happy ending. Your wonderful words of support continue to keep me going so many thanks for that and hope to hear from you soon.
ARNOLD AND ELIZABETH TUCKER – Loved the fly joke and consider that one stolen. Heidi is glowing after your comments about her and her Mum so you just made a Dutch ladies day. Every time someone sends me a joke it is tradition that I return the favour…………………………….so have a look at this one which was told to me by a guest this week.
Four women were driving across the country.
Each one was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.
Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.
“What the heck are you doing?” demanded the Nebraskan.
“We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!”
That made sense to the gal from Nebraska, so she began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.
“What are you doing that for?” asked the gal from Florida.
“We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!”
Inspired by watching the entire scene, the gal from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out
See you in three weeks time and all the best.
CANUCK CRUISER – I haven’t had two Thursdays in one week since 1997…………that’s me in the dog house. Thanks again for the kind words about the award. My dad has an office dedicated to three things………trains, cruise ships and books about Sheffield. This award will go in his office along with all the other stuff. Maybe I can get him to take a few photos of his office some time. I saw the photos of the Carnival Liberty’s On Deck For The Cure walk and everyone looked great except Todd who is nowhere close to being as good looking as me………..poor sod. Glad to hear about the good news of Donna’s Mum doing so much better and I am sure I will get a lightning strike for a few comments in this and other blogs as well. Hope your Cowboys do well and I am still waiting for a NFL hat……..I just can’t make my mind up who my favorite team is. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks for saying how much you enjoy the blog and our best to the entire family.
CINDER – What wonderful memories you have brought back. Of course I remember the kidnapping of the Badger Flag, it was one of the most talked about events of the cruise. The young man you are referring to is called Butch. He was my Assistant Cruise Director on the Carnival Liberty TA but you will be happy to hear that he is now a Cruise Director currently ion the Carnival Conquest. You asked who the Cruise Director will be on your January Carnival Liberty Cruise. The answer is a young man called Steve Knisley whom I know you will enjoy very much. I am glad that you have discovered the blog thingy and welcome to something that has been read so far by 729,000 readers. Welcome aboard and thanks so much for the great memories.
RIKKI BOYCE – Thanks Rikki. Let me start by saying I know the comedian to whom you refer. “Sarge” has worked for us on many occasions and is indeed a funny man. We allow many of our comedians to have fun at our expense and as this blog has shown, there is a lot of material here. It is very funny that you think I should blog for the entire Carnival Corporation as I guess in someway I am doing that now. Later this week there will be another of our VIP interviews and a few surprises as well. Thanks mate and my favorite comedian’s reference to ship idiosyncrasies goes to a comedian called Happy Cole who says “In the lifeboat drill the Cruise Director says that the lifeboats are built with special material that makes them unsinkable even when flooded. Well if that is the case, why don’t they make the ships out of the same material?” Hope you are enjoying the blog mate and thanks for everything.
LISA AND ELAINE – Hello Ladies. I checked on your cabin 8357 and here is the information you required. There are two hammocks, an upper and a lower with a bathroom on deck 6 which you share with 200 other people including me. There is a TV but it only picks up Mongolian stations. There is a third person in the cabin, the ships cat whose name is Teapot. ……. OK…… seriously. It is a category 1A and is the same size as most of the interior rooms on deck 8. It is a very comfortable room and although not our biggest will be perfect for you I am sure. Thanks for the support of the blog and I will find a happy medium that allows me to rest and to keep in touch with my thousands of new friends. See you soon and all the best.
TERESA AND PAUL B – Another fan of the Middleton’s. There story really was inspiring and for all of us who are married we all hope I am sure to be like them. The blog thingy will continue and I hope you both continue to find enjoyment in reading it. Wishing you both another 28 years of fun and happiness and many more after that.
LEASA – When I read your name on the postings I feel so humble. I can picture you sitting in front of the computer listening to your audio program that transcribes and reads out my ramblings. Therefore, if there is one reason to try audio blogging it is to do it for you. Therefore, that will be my project while I am on vacation and the first blog will be dedicated to you. You are a special person who even though sight impaired is full of life and happiness which I am sure we all find infectious. I hope to meet you one day and thanks again for being you. All the best.
BILL – ZYDECOCRUISER – Ask and it shall be given. Photos of my daily dinners will be forthcoming on my vacation blog. Here we go again with the food thing.
INMN253 – You and Big Ed are too kind. I will make sure that my vacation is the top priority and the blog secondary but I know I can continue to find the middle ground. Thanks so much for your concern. As for the cell phone thing I am very close to making a pre-show announcement about turning phones off, something I never thought I would need to do on a cruise ship………..don’t you love technology? Hope all is well in Minnesota and I look forward to going there soon and having something to eat……..on a stick. Cheers.
TOM AND JANE – Welcome home. What can you tell me about the cruise? Who was the Cruise Director?……..Go on, fill us in with the gossip. We missed you and hope you had a wonderful time.
MYRA BUSHNELL – Goodness me. A posting with so much mixed emotion. I started off laughing at your description of Wee Jimmy’s tummy and I was thrilled at how much you enjoyed the ship and the Carnival Glory crew. Then, I read about your beloved family dog passing away while you were onboard. You say he died of sadness because he missed you…….well, maybe that is true but you must not dwell on that. Remember the 14 years of fun and love you shared, I am sure he is, up there in doggy heaven. I know right now you say you do not want another dog. My Mum was the same when we lost Ringo. Time is a healer and maybe eventually the joy of a tiny woof and the smell of poo everywhere will be just what you need. Then I read about Mum hitting her head. How is she doing, please let us know? All of this seems to have you unsure about coming on the Bloggers Cruise. Well, do what you think best but remember that life is short and you really should live for each moment ………come on and cruise …….and when you get back……….buy a puppy. You mentioned the Foot and Mouth disease and because you had been to a ranch your suitcases and shoes were sprayed. In the U.K. we are very worried about this and Mad Cow. Did you hear about the two cows standing in a field? One says to the other “Are you worried about Mad Cow disease?” “No, I am not, says the other one, I have nothing to worry about, I am a sheep.” Once again, sorry for your loss and please know we are thinking of you.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Hello Carol. You will be happy to know that any blogs I do on vacation will be both audio and written with the good news being, I won’t be doing the typing. I am glad you enjoyed the stories from yesterday’s blog. I see your neighbor is cruising on the Emerald Princess and why don’t you ask her if she would kindly send in a review to us here on the blog thingy. I am sure she will have a wonderful time. Thank you for the offer of the bagel and one day we will sit together and enjoy some bagels, cream cheese and good conversation. All the best from both of us.
IVANA – Hope you see this before you leave, have a wonderful time in Prague and let us know how it was when you get back.
VIKKI AND MATT TILL – To answer your question, we do have a Sports Bar on most ships, all of which will be covering the college sports. The only exception is here on the Carnival Freedom where the Florida Gators don’t often play Manchester United……….although, that would be fun to see. By the way, a friend of mine from the States went to a soccer match this last weekend in London. He saw Chelsea vs. Fulham and the score was an exciting 0-0. He is a huge basketball fan and has been asking me why us Brits get so excited about something so boring. Maybe he needs to go to a Manchester United vs Liverpool game and sit with the United fans, wearing a Liverpool shirt. I promise he won’t be bored then. The blogs will come as often as I can but not on Thursdays or the weekends as I am busy ………………..well, definitely not in the weekends. Best to you both, see you soon.
GREG BALDASARRI – Welcome back from the Carnival Conquest and to hear you speak so highly of Butch as a Cruise Director warms my heart. How nice of him to say that he owes it all to me. He really doesn’t, he has the talent and all I did was take the top of the bottle. I am so glad that the “On Deck for the Cure” went so well and we will be having our second one this coming cruise. Welcome home and thanks for everything you said, which I have passed on to Butch …………..he will be so proud, as I am of him.
BIG ED – I’ve heard about this natural Viagra, available in Turkey. I did, in fact, buy some and not for what you think. I just take it when the ship is rocking, it stops me rolling out of bed. ………..like a personal anchor. I know that is very rude, blame Big Ed, not me.
DWA76 – How are you mate? Every time I see a posting from you, I know I have a friend writing to me. Thanks for thinking of me while I am on vacation and David, I will find a way to rest, which is very important, but I will also find time to blog. Hope things with you are well, see you very soon.
WE NOW MOVE ON TO A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS FROM THE BLOG ABOUT CABIN STEWART, JAPHET.
RAY CZENSZAK – Well, this is quite amazing that I chose to interview your stateroom steward Japhet from your recent Carnival Freedom cruise. He is one of our finest and I will be certain to pass on your words of praise to him and his manager. I also hope to see you on the Carnival Splendor and thanks for making his day.
SHEILA EDWARDS – Such wonderful words for my beautiful wife Heidi. She really does take great pride in everything she does, especially the distribution of thousands of guests on tours each cruise. Thank you for mentioning her and she is excited to know that you have send her a package full of surprises. Hope to see you again very soon.
KATHY B – I am very happy to hear that you are enjoying the crewmember interviews. Please let me know a week or so before you sail on the Carnival Valor and I will arrange for your son to meet with one of the bridge officers so he can ask his questions about his future life at sea. Thanks again Kathy and please keep enjoying the blogs.
KATHIE – I don’t have any words to say how super your posting was to read. Thank you for thinking and caring about our crew and I have posted your words on our crew notice board. Thank you again so very much.
DWA76 – Thank you too mate.
WE NOW MOVE TO QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS FROM THE BLOG CALLED “THE DAYS AHEAD”
MRS MTSFCP – I have to admit, yours and Jon’s were some of the first names I thought about when I decided not to do the TA. Alan is a very dear friend of mine and he is about to undergo hours of very complicated surgery and my mind will only be there with him. He will be in weeks of rehab and I need to help the family look after his kids while his wife takes care of work. I promise we will have time together on the 28th and we will have a little cocktail party and I also promise that Todd will give you a wonderful vacation and will take special care of you. Thanks for being so understanding.
TERESA AND PAUL B – I do really need a vacation and I am glad you will keep reading the blog. I know I have disappointed a lot of people but we will all meet one day, I promise. I may see you on April the 12th. That one, I am not quite sure about yet. As you will see from today’s blog the man who called me “ignorant” suggested I went back to school after finding four spelling mistakes in my Carnival Capers. I wish he had signed the letter, I could have thanked him, and not doing so, in a way was a little ignorant. It was a stupid mistake I made and I feel silly for doing so but I thought his letter was a little harsh. Thank you for your unconditional support. Wish you both all the best.
DAVE AND JO MYERLY – I am glad you understand from your own friendship the bond that Alan and I have. He is a great friend and even though I put up with him ruining my teenage years, I need to be there for him now. I am glad you like Old Spice and thank you for reminding me about another favorite of mine “Brut.” You just can’t find these anymore. I hope you and Jo are both well and Heidi and I still picture you sitting there in your bloggers t-shirts. We hope to see you very soon.
MARY – I am glad you will be meeting me in the Swingtime at 5:15pm and yes, the drinks are free. I really do thank you for understanding about me not being on the TA. I know I am letting you down but the fact that you understand makes me feel so much better. See you in a few weeks, I look forward to raising a glass to your health.
BILL ZYDECO CRUISER – Thanks mate. I really will enjoy a break and even though I will be busy blogging and looking after Alan and taking care of my parents and making sure that Heidi gets special treatment and relaxation I will be very relaxed. I didn’t realize you had sailed on The France. Thanks for the link, I shall enjoy reading that. How was the food? Cheers mate, thanks again for the kind words.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Carol, once again, you are such a dear friend and Heidi and I thank you most sincerely for everything you have written today.
LYNN – Thank you so much Lynn. Your words will mean so much to me and of course Alan, who I know reads this blog every day.
OKTEACH – Thank you for your understanding and thank you for thinking of Alan and his family. We will be meeting you at 5:15pm on the 28th of October. I wish I could invite your entire Cruise Critic group but I would like to keep this a small and intimate gathering. I have confirmed the Swingtime at 11 am on the first sea day for your group. If you require anything else, please let me know. I will see you and Dave in a few weeks and thank you again for thinking of me and of course Alan.
BIG ED – Thanks mate. One thing you and I must do is keep laughing and making Alan laugh. I know he thinks of you as a mate and would bend over backwards to get on this bloggers cruise to meet you and the gang. Thanks again mate, that’s what friends are for.
DWA76 – There are a wealth of stories about Alan and I and over the next few weeks I will be sharing many more with you. Thanks again for such wonderful support which I draw great strength from.
JO MYERLY – You are a true friend. Thank you so much.
ELIZABETH AND ARNOLD TUCKER – I am so sorry to disappoint you and burst your balloon. Todd however will blow it up again and make sure the cruise is amazing for you. Alan is my best mate. We grew up together (well I did) and I need to be there for him now. Please come to the little gathering at 5:15pm and send me your cabin number so I can send you an invitation. Thanks again for your kind understanding and special words.
MATT EDMUNDS – The Cruise Director for the crossing will be Todd Wittmer. He is brilliant and the best we have. He is indeed on the Carnival Liberty and will be joining me here on the 24th of October. I will chat about gifts and stuff soon and most importantly I wanted you to know how much I appreciated your gracious words. You are a true gentlemen and I thank you so very much. Cheers mate
That’s all the time I have for Q and A tonight.
I have to say I am overwhelmed at everyone’s support. I have not had time to read all the comments so far but everyone I have read has such sincerity in their words of support………………goodness I am a lucky man to have such friends like all of you.
Tomorrow, Roberto will slap on a link to an address in Miami where if you wish (and I hope you do) you can send mail and packages to. This will be in the care of Chris Prideaux in Miami who will then forward everything to me in the U.K. I hope to get some holiday cards from you all and then I can return ones to you all as well. Thanks to Chris for doing this.
Alan is going in for his Head CT tomorrow so please keep thinking of him. I have no idea why he needs one, you don’t need modern technology to tell him he is ugly — that is what mirrors are for.
I wanted to share this letter with you today as well. This is a letter from a guest which is full of inspiration and hope and support and really fitted into the theme of today. Here it is.
I read this letter out at the Afternoon Show today and then we spoke about the two special men in her life. Danna is a special lady who has been through so much and as you can see her rock has been her husband Mike. I noticed that he uses laughter and fun to help his beautiful lady get through the dark days and that takes a special person. Reading their letter will I know provide much needed inspiration to many…………….myself included.
To finish with tonight and before I go and see the Beatles Show I wanted to share a great conversation I had with a guest after my debarkation talk today at the Q and A………..always a great source of fun as well as knowledge. The man I had the conversation with was from somewhere called Upstate New York. He was in his 60′s I would say and was wearing the largest crucifix round his neck I have ever seen along with a huge gold chain that could have supported the ship’s anchor……….or mine. The crucifix and chain was accompanied by lots of other gold chains and various charms and medallions……….he was either very brave or just loved gold…………anyway, we will call him …………………..Mr. T
Here is roughly how it went……………….
MR.T………………I would like to make a comment
John………….Yes Sir, please go ahead
Mr.…………My name is %$$# and I am from Upstate New York. I want to know why you do not allow comedians in the talent show.
John…………..It is company policy sir as we have incidents before where guests have said things that were really inappropriate.
Mr.………Well, I am a professional and I do a tribute act to the funniest comedian in the world…………don’t you see the resemblance?
John………….Ummmmmmmmm…………….No………….let me ask the audience………….and I did.
There were about 200 in the audience and maybe a dozen or so all said together “Rodney Dangerfield”
Mr.T…………See.
John…………Oh, I am sorry but I have not heard of him
Mr. T……….I don’t get any respect
John……..I am not disrespecting you sir I just don’t know who he is
Now most of the audience laughs and I am totally confused
Mr.……….That is what he says…………I don’t get no respect
John………..Oh…………( looking ignorant for the second time today) ……………OK, let me answer a few more questions and then come and do a few minutes. He did…………….and although some of his lines were delivered in a strange rasping voice they were quite funny and the audience laughed. His best line was “Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I have ‘em both the same way – very rare.”
Anyway, I was sorry to learn that this guy (Rodney, not Mr. T) had passed away and when time permits I hope to learn more about Mr. Dangerfield from Mr. Google.
So, off to the show I go and thanks to all of you for ……………well………………you know.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Hi John, WOW. Give Gary our thanks for the photos of Stromboli. They are wonderful.
Jo
Hi John,
Too bad the car was only your fantasy award… maybe one day (you can only hope).
Although primarily a stand-up comic, you might also enjoy watching the movie Caddieshack. Rodney Dangerfield played a irreverent golfer. I don’t think he used his ‘no respect’ line in the movie, but it’s a riot none the less.
I could almost see you doing a Rodney Dangerfield like act. “… I don’t get any respect see… I go visit a sister cruise ship for several hours and they don’t feed me… on a cruise ship and they don’t feed me… I tell you, I don’t get any Respect…”
John,
I was reading through your responses and saw that a passenger had their dog die while they were on the ship. I am going to put this out there for anyone who has ever lost a pet. Google for Rainbow Bridge. It is the most phenomenal poem.
I lost my first shih tzu who was my soul mate very tragically while we had him on vacation with us. Someone who heard about my loss told me about Rainbow Bridge. I now refer people to that site when they have lost pets. I hope some of your readers who have experienced the loss of a pet will find comfort in this site.
I live in upstate New York- It is the Buffalo/Rochester area! I will miss reading your blogs from the ship! They really make my day! Alan is in my thoughts and prayers- Good Luck with everything! I will keep reading and writing to you while you take a break!
You deserve it!
Lindsey
Hi John,
The hammocks and the cat we can handle, but after reading about some of your escapades in the bathroom, we’re not sure sharing a bathroom with you and 200 others is quite the bargain. However, if that is the case, then so be it!
Will you be spending the holidays at home or with your mum and dad and Heidi’s mum? Do the cruise ships do anything special for Christmas and Hannukkah?
I’m sure Alan’s scan will be just fine. I’ve had quite a few myself and they all come out ok, because there is nothing there..completely void. Maybe it will be the same for Alan…LOL
Thinking of you and yours,
Elaine
Hello John and Heidi
First off I must comment about my response. In “days to come” I did not mean to offend you, I just meant that the pain of our disappointment would be swift and we would get over it. Our cabin # will be 8440. Your health, Heidi, Alan & his family come first. I left a lucrative job in California 2 years ago to come back to ailing parents. I am a nurse of 30+ years. I totally understand. I feel sorry for the nurses who have to handle the likes of the two of you when Alan starts feeling better!
Second comment: so glad you liked the “fly joke.” Glad to have it stolen by the best!
Third Comment: WOW No Wonder you want an Aston Martin, that’s one fine set of wheels in that picture sir!
Fourth Comments: Florida Gators against Manchester United, now that’s an interesting match up for the near future……..
Fifth Comment: BEAUTIFUL AWARD!
Sixth Comment: The Mystery Man on the Cruise must be a very uptight English teacher or an English teacher want to be, or saints preserve us could it be he cannot find anything to do on a CCL cruise that he has to read all the capers and critique them for you? To quote another other blogger “get a life”
Another joke:
Subject: Polish sausage
Everyone is in a hurry to scream “racism” these days!
“In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?”
The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”
The guy (clearly offended) says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you
Something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you?
The clerk says, “Well, no!”
“If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
“Well, I probably wouldn’t!”
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well then, why did
You ask me if I’m Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?”
The clerk replies, “Because you’re in Home Depot.”(A home improvement store)
Best wishes & great days ahead from the Tuckers
A funny TRUE story for you! My very first parents night (I am a 9th grade English teacher) I meant to write on the board “Welcome to parents night” what I wrote was “welcome to perenis night” as I was distracted while writing it because a student asked me how to spell ‘perennial’ (notice what the word looks like and english teachers are not supposed to spell anything wrong EVER.) We are only human!
Lindsey
John, you better keep an eye on Heidi. I’ve heard from a very good source of mine in the Vatican that Heidi has been trying to get a private audience with the Pope every time the ship is in Rome. When ask why she wanted an audience with the Pope she stated that she wanted to ask the Pope to make you a Cardinal. She was then asked why she wanted y
to be made a Cardinal and she replied If he was made a Cardinal I would only have to kiss his ring.
ME! Would I be up to no good. “Revenge is mine sayest the Lord”. Well I’m not the Lord but I think he’s on our team.
I’m sure once you google Rodney you will slip your forehead and say sure I know him. I’m sure you saw some of his movies if not you should.
“BIG” ED
109 days till “REVENGE OF THE NERD CRUISERS”
Hi John, BooHoo, I feel neglected, you must’ve posted at least 2 emails to Big Ed, but no response to mine. I shall wait in the wings till you have time to respond to poor old me! BooHoo! HA! HA! Seriously though, I can’t believe that person taking the time to go thru all the capers to find all the misspellings, apparently they or he/she are a miserable lot, as they apparently didn’t come on a Carnival cruise to have FUN! What a waste of their time to spend trying to make you unhappy. They must be very jealous of you so decided to make you miserable by doing the things they are doing, how rude! Don’t take it to heart, you are a dear person (especially now that I know you love Italy, and italian food). I’m Italian and so you have a friend in me forever, don’t let that PERSON get you down, ok? Hope to hear from you soon, Your friends, Linda & Mike (from Melbourne, Fla.)
John,
Sam Simmonds….that name rings a bell. Was she a dancer on the Holiday? Redheaded….drank red wine…great dancer? I still use the introduction she came up for me, when I performed a cabaret in the back lounge. (What was the name of that lounge….hideous, green, “undersea” thing) She went to introduce me and said, “normally, we’d like to impress you all by telling you all the famous and important people that Dave has performed with. But unfortunately, Dave has NEVER performed with anyone famous or important”. I nearly pissed myself and still use that to this day.
Is she still dancing/cruising?
Dave
Linda Hernacki,
“Why’s everybody always picking on me” “I get no respect”. I’m not the only one with two or more answer/comments from John today. At least no thong talk today.
BIG ED
John,
From what I have read, you are a person with a “huge” loving heart. The person that wrote the notes does not deserve your kindness. They are sneaky and underhanded to leave anonymous notes like that. Anyway, don’t give that person another thought. Your thoughts and attention belong to your friend Alan, his family and Heidi.
I will cross my fingers for the possibility of you and Heidi being there. I’m sure you have figured out that we are very anxious for April. We are not worried about how great the staff on the ship will be. I view pictures everyday and ponder what it will actually be like. Absolutely can not wait!!! I think I’m worse than a kid waiting for Christmas!
Hello Friends
,
Love the blog today. First I get to enjoy Gary’s beautiful pictures of the volcano. It makes my city of urban sprawl look less attractive. Ugh.
I also liked the picture of you “receiving” your award. Will that be going back to the UK with your parents in your shrine, or just the picture?
Another great Rodney Dangerfield movie is “Back to School”. Although, I would say that Caddyshack is one of his greatest films.
Though i’m sad that your vacation is quickly approaching, I can’t think of 2 people more deserving after all the time they have spent onboard.
With the Splendor launching right around the corner, you 2 are going to need all the rest and relaxation you can get.
I hope you are setup in Miami at some point so we can eventually get together.
Thank you for another great post buddy,
David
Hey John,
Positive thoughts go out to you and Heidi as you prepare to visit with Alan. Close your eyes now and…….
See him as already healed and having a great time with you and Big Ed, Kevin and the rest on the BLOGGERS cruise. If you picture it in your mind and really believe then it WILL happen.
Your new adopted NFL team is from the great state of TEXAS and they are the 5 time SUPER BOWL champs ………………….DALLAS Cowboys!!!!
We are now 4-0 this season and on the way back to the SUPER BOWL this year. Jump on board with us diehard fans and back a winner John!
Thinking of everyone on the blog with health issues and sending them good vibes through the net. Be healthy everyone!
All the best from the land of the changing leaves.
B&D from Canada.
Ok, I cannot even finish reading today’s blog before I comment. That person, in my opinion, is a gigantic anal orifice and a coward! I almost feel sorry for him/her. He/she must live a most miserable life.
John, please don’t let boorish people ruin your day. They are not worth your time.
Ok, now I can finish reading.
Take care and big hugs to you and Heidi.
Now we find out John bought the little blue pill
His excuse; To stay in bed and not take a spill
Or was it in anticipation of some Thursday goodwill?
When Heidi heard the news she got a cold chill
The idea of John and Viagra she would have to kill
For this she would make John watch Knoting Hill
Followed by an episode of Dr. Phil
For this would certainly break any man’s will…..
Rodney Dangerfield got no respect
His life was always wrecked
Making fun of himself was the subject
So here are some on-liners on which to reflect
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could.
But he pulled through
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, “No, but I did get the license number”.
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he’s in the fruit section.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking.
Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.
My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
I asked him, “Who said you could fool around with my wife?” He said, “Everybody.”
I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror… I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”
I’ll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog’s bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
I’m so ugly… I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I’d get.
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, “How can I get my kite in the air?” He told me to run off a cliff.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
My old man, I told him I’m tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.
Hi John,
Could you pass along a Big Hello from Carl and I to Butch. We so enjoyed him on the Liberty TA. I lived all my life in South Eastern Minnesota until I met Carl, so when I found out he was from Stillwater, it was like meeting someone from home. He is a wonderful young man with a lot of talent. Guess we need to take a cruise on the Conquest, huh?
Your award is beautiful! And you are so deserving of it! Hope you will soon share a picture of you and Heidi holding it!
Take care…
Barb
John,
You probably won’t remember me – I posted some questions to the blog thingy before, but you may remember my wife Lisa. We sailed with you and Heidi the last two weeks of June. Lisa, who had just graduated from college, wrote you a letter to volunteer to help you in Istanbul with the Iraqi children that were coming on board. You called her during the Morning Show (and she called you Basil).
First, I want to wish you well on your vacation. We so appreciate all you and Heidi (and the rest of the crew) did to make our vacation so great. Please, first make sure you enjoy your vacation, and only then think about us poor souls who live vicariously through this blog …
Second, maybe this can cheer Alan a bit. My dad passed a few years ago from cancer, but while he was still here with us, he too had several “head CTs” or brain scans, as he called them. After every one, I would ask him if they found anything. Never failed, it always brought a smile to each of our faces. Our prayer’s are with Alan, and with you.
Dan
I wasn’t kidding about the Carnival-wide blog. Or it could even be for the parent company. Blogs are great viral marketing. Extremely inexpensive.
You’ve already done the hard work — getting the blog thingy up and attracting a loyal base. You could spend 60% of your time blogging from land, the rest from the sea on different cruises (just pulled those numbers out of the air). Imagine what a sales tool that would be! John Heald, blogging live from the whatever ship.
Frankly, now that you’ve won that award, I think Carnival would be crazy not to make you their ambassador to the virtual world. It’s a natural!
BTW, can you give me an idea of how many people/couples you anticipate at our TA hello/farewell meet up? I would like to bring you and Alan a little taste of Memphis, my hometown. And, if there’s not too many folks, I might do that for the fellow bloggers, too.
Don’t forget to breathe, hug often, and be in the moment as you got through this time of worry and hurry.
Barb Bear, go back to the blog about John winning the award, there are pictures of both John and Heidi holding the award.
Big Ed, Yes I know he answered other bloggers more than once, but I didn’t want to make him feel even worse, than the fact he wrote to you numerous times! You two got something going on? HA! HA! Seriously though, all us bloggers are gonna miss John. You will see why when you finally meet him in January. I have had the pleasure of having him as our CD 3 times in the past, and he is a HOOT! But we all know that now!
I am waiting to get info. from Chris Prideaux in Miami, so we all know where to write to John and send Christmas gifts and cards, John apparently is going to get us bloggers that info.
John: Rodney Dangerfield was a very funny man, he even appeared in some movies, google him, you will definitely recognize him if you see pictures of him, my stepdad who is now deceased as well, was the spitting image of Rodney, and he too was a jokester, and often imitated Rodney for family and friends.
I am glad you are taking time off for your own sanity, and health as well. Being diabetic myself I know how trying the days can be and stressful at times, and in your line of work having to put up with some unbelievable people you have seen it all! So you deserve a break. So does Heidi. Yes, we all will miss you, but someday we will meet again, right John?
Take care, God Bless, and talk to you soon, Linda & Mike
Hey all!
Great Blog, the pictures are so memerising, and as far as your spell checker don’t worry about it, if he has nothing better to do than look for fault then he should be told he is on vacation not in a classroom playing teacher. but if he is board he is welcome to read my blogs I am sure he will find tuns of misspellings and grammer issues. In the end if the eror have been there as long as you say the it is really no problem as in all this time he is the only one affended, everyone else is just enjoying their vacation.
oh and as far as Rodney goes yes google him and you will learn about him. In the end “I get no respect” was his punchline, and you unknowingly walked into a perfect setup for the man to the point where some may think you did it on purpose for the perfect laugh. I am sure the man loved being able to use the line.
Keeping Allen in prayer,
my best to you and Heidi
Heidi-Beth
Hi John,
As we say here in the south, “I’m so mad I could spit!” Who ever this person is that is harassing you, is just a jerk! How unhappy he or she must be. Nothing to do but find a way to make another human being feel bad. Just ignore them and concern yourself with Alan, Heidi, and your much deserved time off. I love the joke of the day. Keep them coming. You have got to see Caddyshack! Not only is Rodney Dangerfield as funny as he can be, There’s Chevy Chase, Jim Bolucci, and the gofer! If you can’t find it anywhere let me know and I’ll send you a copy. Thank you so much for your kind words to me and thanks for making me smile each and everyday.
Leasa
ALL BLOGGERS
I’ve posted a get well card for our mate Alan Adkins on my blog. Your all welcome to post a comment to him on it. Just click on my name on top of this comment or go here; http://ekonefe.wordpress.com/ .
“BIG” PAPA AND MAMA BEAR
ahhh, back in florida and ready to start packing john and heidi. sorry to say i did not run into roscoe p. last night in his lovely city but sure did see lots of his “friends”. (they are EVERYWHERE! ha ha).
see you soon!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Dear John,
I too write this with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes, I am truly saddened to hear about Alan. You are truly a good friend and it is very rare to find friends like you. It’s great that you have made the decision to be there for Alan and his family.
Not sure if you noticed that I haven’t posted in the last little bit but I have been trying to deal with the news that my Mom, (my best friend), has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic colon cancer which has now recurred in her liver. It’s has been really hard to grasp this especially with me being in NC and her being in NJ. I will probably be off to NJ in the next few weeks so I can be with her. Right now I’m just waiting to finish up my own 6 month check-ups with one more doctor to go. So far I’m doing well, (with my check-ups).
I’m so glad that you and Heidi will finally be taking a much needed vacation! Please don’t think of it as letting us down, we all definitely understand your situation. John you have such a big heart and a kind soul. Please John just concentrate on yourself, Heidi, Alan and his family. My prayers and thoughts go out to Alan and his family. I wish him a quick and speedy recovery.
Best to you and Heidi,
Inez and Dean
John,
The NFL team to cheer on to victory is the Green Bay Packers!! Their quarterback holds the NFL record for most career touchdown passes, 422 and I am sure he is going to add to this number. His name is Brett Farve and he comes from the little town Kiln, Mississippi. He attended the University of Southern Mississppi and now makes his home in Hattiesburg. His wife Deanna is a cancer survivor. He also holds the record for most career victories by a quarterback. At the age of 37, he still plays the game like a young kid. He loves to play football and it shows. But most of all, he is a team player. He wants the Packers to win. By the way, the Packers are 4-0 this year and going back to last season, they have won 8 in a row. So, the NFL team to cheer for is the Green Bay Packers.
Have a good day.
John -
I did not want to mention this yesterday, but we can no longer be friends – at least until the American League Championship is decided.
How dare you be a Red Sox fan. How dare you. Have you no taste whatsoever.
GO YANKEES!!!! 27 in 2007
Why in the world would Alan need a head CT for a vasectomy? I think I might look for a different veterinarian.
Hi John,
Gary’s pictures of Stromboli are excellent. That volcano looks as good during the day as it does at dusk when we went by. Don’t be upset by what lookingforwardtothenearlysmokefreecarnivalfreedom says. You have excellent taste being a Red Sox fan. Besides, you have a Red Sox hat, with Championship hats on the way (with a special hat for Heidi so she doesn’t feel left out).
Please let Alan know our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. He is truly fortunate to have a friend like you.
our best to you all.
Alan & Chris
BLOGGERS
I’ve put a get well card on my blog for all to put a message for ALAN ADKINS. Just click on my name at the top of this comment.
“BIG” ED
Hi John,
I will be looking forward to pictures of what you eat when on vacation. And perhaps toss in a picture now and then of Heidi’s reaction to your reaction to what you ate.
I honestly don’t remember the food on the France so it must have been good – if it was bad, I would have remembered that. I still have a number of the menus. I’ll have to look at them again to see if anything rings a bell. I do remember the unlimited, included table wine with dinner and partying the night away with the crew after hours. They would collect the leftover table wine and make a sort of sangria out of it. That might have had an impact on my food memories.
I remember my cabin was in “steerage” and how some of us would sneak into the first class sections at night to catch some of “their” entertainment. When the lights came on after the shows to see how surprised some of the upper crust were when they discovered some ragamuffins had invaded their space. How delighted we were to see the horror on the penguins faces. Then the always amusing game of hide and seek with the ship’s gendarmes.
I certainly remember the clay pigeon shooting and liked that. That while I exited the ship in Southampton, a number of my friends continued on to La Havre where the crew mutinied and were giving everything away – including fine wines. Guess they were a little upset at the thought of losing the ship and their jobs.
Hindsight being what it is, I wish I had paid more attention to some of the details and also had not bailed at Southampton, but who knew it would be historic? At the time, it was mostly just a fun kind of transportation to get me where I was going.
Hopefully some of my pictures have survived, but I have no idea where to look for them. Another quest for another day.
John & Heidi (hi Heidi whens the next blog coming out ? We miss you)
Ok I guess i can be Kevin Powers International man of mystery, But I think John Steed might be a better character, then you can be mother, and Heidi can be Emma Peel, As for Big Ed, he can continue to be Dr. Evil ED. As for sharing a cabin with Ed to keep a eye on him for you, I think I’ll pass on that one, now if I can share with one of the Dancers well then we can come to some arrangement. The only other problem is I’m not going on the bloggers cruise anymore. So I’ll have to stay home and follow the ship from Google earth. Also John how is it possible your a red sox fan ? They are the evil empire of baseball. They are like the French Soccer (football) team to anyone else, Lex Luthor to Superman, The Joker to Batman. You can’t be a Red Sox fan sorry mate.
From a top secret classified location.
Kevin “Powers”
Dear John and Heidi
We have just read that you will not be on the TA cruise. That’s the second bit of bad news I have had to cope with in the last twelve hours the first being my team Wrexham losing at home to Chesterfield 0 – 4 .We had so much looked forward to meeting you on the TA cruise. I have to admit that we feel somewhat deflated at present,but that’s incidental and probabley selfish. Our prayers go out to Alan and his family and we hope everything goes well with Alan’s operation and that he makes a speedy and complete recovery.
Best wishes to you and Heidi for the future.
Take care of each other.
Harry and Philippa Reed.
John, my friend,
Your cloaked nemesis must have some deep seeded problems. Here he/she/it is aboard one of the loveliest cruise ships in the world and actually takes the time to review the Capers word by word for spelling errors??? I just looked in the dictionary under the term ‘anal retentive’ and there was the mystery assailant.
Someone of that ilk simply doesn’t belong on a cruise ship; perhaps a container ship or a petroleum tanker but not a cruise ship.
Please let Alan know that he remains in my prayers and thoughts along with so many of our friends.
Thank you, again, my friend.
All the best to Heidi and the Remarkable Roberto!
Regards,
Greg
John,
I would never correct you for any typo/grammar mistakes, especially since you called me HOTSTAR instead of Hoststar , (yesterday’s blog).. thank you for that!!!.. Best wishes to Alan and his family and to you and Heidi for a well deserved vacation.. don’t let anyone like “Mr. Ignorant” (let’s call HIM that, as that’s what he is) get you down and please continue to call me HOTSTAR..I love it!!!
Hello John,
A couple of days ago you asked for some feedback regarding the comment cards. One thing we find is there is not enough room provided to write our comments. Sometimes we end up following up the comment card with a letter to Carnival. One thing that we have noticed is that many of the changes we have suggested are addressed and carried out. For us that shows us someone is listening and we are not the only ones making the same suggestions.
Also you mention that someone wrote that they felt this blog has served its purpose. I would suggest that might be true if one thinks back to why you started this blog. I would suggest that perhaps it has metamorphosed beyond the original intent and the blog has become not only an opportunity for those who enjoy cruising to share that experience. It also has become a celebration of life and with that celebration comes all the diversity and challenges that life has to offer with all of its ups and downs with new friendships developing. True friendship shares the good times and not so good times. For that reason we hope that yours and Alan’s family know that there are many faceless friends sitting with you during the long hours of unknown waiting to hear that everything is all right and it will be. Take care of each other. Your friends – The Sagara Family
“The four spelling mistakes included the word “color” spelt “colour” ”
Perhaps this mystery editor needs to go back to school to learn that both versions of color/colour are spelled correctly. It simply depends on which side of the Canadian & American boarder one was educated on.
With so much to do on a fun ship this person finds fun in editing others spelling errors. Well I guess on Carnival there truly is ‘a million ways to have fun’.
John,
Some people just need to be know-it-alls and point out what they know. Not everyone is a great speller or can see a spelling mistake right in front of their face. That’s why there are people that are specifically trained to do that job.
Your job is a cruise director. It’s a very important job and one that you exceed beyond all expectations in. You are one of the best, if not THE BEST, from both personal knowledge and reading this blog in my estimation.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is a title of a good book, but it’s also a lesson we all need to remember. Just trust yourself! After 750,000 + hits on this block you should know you are at the top of your game. Don’t let the “small stuff” get you down. We all love you no matter what.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Heidi, your mate Alan and his family. You are a wonderful friend. I pray for a speedy recovery for Alan.
Enjoy your break. I dare say it won’t be a vacation, but make sure you get some down time for yourself before you head back to work…even if it means more time off. Everyone can and will understand.
Thank you for all the time you’ve devoted to this blog and to all us cruisers. You are truly amazing!
Jean
Hi John,
Hello John and Lindsey B,
I , too am from upstate New York. Maybe someday we will be our own state. It’s a nice part of the country-save for the weather, which is influenced by both Lake Ontario and Lake Erie. If you ever want to see clouds, come visit us. One other thing about us
upstaters is that we love comedians. They help chase away the depression that 120 straight days of gray skies can foster.
Rodney Dangerfield was a master. Differing in style from John Cleese but funny none the less.
Best wishes and prayers to Alan.
John,
Thank you for your kind words about my dog, and for asking after my mom. She still hasn’t visited a doctor (I told you she’s stubborn), but says she’s feeling better. I probably should book her on the Bogger’s Cruise along with Scott and me. Surely, somehow between now and then I can find someone trustworthy to care for my remaining pets. I really would love to meet you and Heidi, and hopefully Alan if you’re going to let him come along!
To Ruth Jamison: I am the passenger whose dog died and have also been to the Rainbow Bridge web-site. Both the poem and the web-site are comforting.
Best Wishes,
Myra
Dear John,
Thank you so much for reading my letter on your show. It really was a beautiful touch on our honeymoon. Even though our first cruise and voyage through the Mediterranean was absolutely outstanding, my husband Mike said his favorite part of our entire vacation was when you read my letter on your afternoon show. Thank you for being part of a special memory that will last us a lifetime.
We purchased a DVD of that Afternoon Show, your hysterical Welcome Aboard Show, and the Ports of Call. My mother-in-law was over today and unfortunately when we popped in the Ports of Call DVD it would not work. I tried it in both of our DVD players to no avail. I think maybe it has a different format, because there is a highlighted sticker on the box which states “PAL” and the other two DVDs work fine. Can you instruct me on whom to contact to get another DVD? We were really looking forward to showing our friends and family all the beautiful ports we had visited. We are hoping we can still get a copy of this specific DVD as we were lucky enough to be filmed on one of the excursions we were on. We were on the cruise which departed on 9/22/07.
Once again, thank you for your kind words and also for posting my letter on the blog. I have become a huge fan of your blog. Even though I rarely post ( I detest writing ) I read your blog every day and appreciate all your humor. Thank you also for the wonderful surprises you sent to our room. Someone anonymously hung two sets of worry beads on our door. I wish I knew who they were from so I could thank them personally. I think that was so kind and I thank whoever was so thoughtful.
We had such a wonderful time on our cruise aboard the Freedom that as soon as we got home we looked into booking our next vacation with Carnival. We live in New York so are planning on taking our next voyage out of Manhattan, as the only negative experience we had on our entire vacation was the air travel. Do you have any recommendations on a specific ship or destination?
I hope your best mate Alan is doing well. Our thoughts and prayers are with him. You and Heidi are wonderful friends to take time off to be by his side. Don’t forget – laughter is the best medicine!
Thanks to you, Heidi, and all of the wonderful staff aboard the Freedom for exceeding our expectations and making our honeymoon so wonderfully memorable.
Best wishes,
Danna Taromina-Caldara