There is an old cruise director standard joke that we all talk about. It’s the one where we say how after a day of traveling, flying, and standing in lines you finally reach the ship. You walk onboard……………your hair looks like you just drove a convertible through in a hurricane, your clothes have more creases in them than one the Michelin Man and you smell like you have splashed on loads of Eau Of The Toilette…….and what do we do………….we take your photo.The same can be said of today’s adventures. I arrived into Miami after a 9 hour and 40 minute flight ……………more about that later……………..I looked like hell and I certainly smelled like I had had not bathed in years……………in fact I looked and smelled so terrible that someone asked me if I was French.
So, there I was feeling and looking like only a trans-Atlantic flight can have you feeling after breathing recycled air, the smell of airplane food and the aftermath of 300 people eating it………….and then it’s time for Immigration………….where they take your photo……….Anyone seeing this photo would have no doubt looking the way I did after the flight that I was indeed a criminal ………..probably involved in smuggling spotted dick into the country.
Now, before I start this next piece I want to make something absolutely 100% clear. I truly understand that in the world that we live in today that extra precautions, security measures must be taken to assure all of our security…………..I respect with out question the men and women of Customs and Border Patrol…………………….however.
Heidi and I stood ion line for 1 hour waiting our turn and once we reached the Immigration official we presented our documents. Now, all crewmembers have to have a special visa called a C1/D1 and present official documents from the cruise company. We had all of these and presented them to the officer accompanied with a cheery good afternoon…………..no response. ………………no welcome to the USA …………… nothing…………….
OK, I thought, he is busy and probably does not have time to say hello ………………… then ………….after taking our photos and finger prints……………..were told……………………”go with this man”……….as if by magic………………another Inspector appeared and we were escorted by this gentlemen who was armed with a Glock 9mm………….pepper spray and a night stick………just incase Heidi got out of hand.
We then sat in a room,…………….. with loads of other crew members………………we sat there for an hour and ten minutes…………………and waited. Finally, we were called to a desk and without a word we were handed back our passports ……………..no, thank you for waiting…………….no explanation……………….nothing.
Now, at this point I should explain that Heidi and I were aware of this system as we have endured it many times before. All crewmembers have to go through this from Captains on down. If, like Heidi and I we know what’s happening you are prepared but if ………….like the young lady from Thailand who was in tears ……………..it can be a very scary place.
This young lady was joining a ship for the first time………………she was due to start work as a Cabin Steward for RCI and as she sat there…………….surrounded by people with guns……….she thought she was about to be put in jail or deported. Seeing her distress I explained to her that she was not in trouble and that all would be well……………she calmed down. However, we all sat there for a long, long time and eventually 1 hour and 10 minutes later we were released.
Again, I understand that the security of the country depends to a large extent on these fine people ……………however; a small word of explanation, even a few signs would go a long way to put troubled minds at ease………………..just a thought.
OK, it’s 7 pm Miami time and midnight UK time and my body is telling me to go to bed……….so I will. …………….goodnight.
Morning, its now 6 am and as usual my body is rebelling, refusing me more sleep and sending me to the bathroom at very strange times. Anyway, we are up, time for breakfast and a busy day of meetings. We will be filming a little teaser during one of the meetings which I am sure Roberto will post later today.
I will write tomorrow.
Goodnight or Good Morning or whatever time it is
Your Friends
John and Heidi
Filed under: Tales from the Ship, Uma Thurman | Tagged: Splendor Godmother
john and heidi,
welcome back.
i am glad you kept a cheery disposition with customs. once in a while a guest at pt canaveral will give the officers a little bit of attitude, about the length of time they have been waiting and the officers tell the guest that they can make arrangements for them to stay in customs all day. that helps the attitude alot.
you and heidi will enjoy grand turk and half moon cay. we have been there 3 times on the fantasy and elation.
hoping to see you when we sail on the freedom on feb 16.
john steers
carnival cruise line
pt canaveral
Dear John,
I sympathize with the Immigration/Customs experience. When I was still living in Canada (I was born in the US and am a citizen, but grew up in Canada) and travelling back & forth alot between the countries I was always treated with distain & insolence by the US inspectors. It was as if, seeing my landed immigrant card for Canada, they considered me a traitor. I was never made to feel so unwelcome. In contrast I was always greeted with a “wecome home” by the Canadian authorities. Even today when I travel north (and I’m no longer a resident of Canada) I’m treated in a much more polite way by the Canadians than by the US representatives. Really turns me off.
On the other hand – I recently returned from Canada with half a suitcase full of chocolate bars because my favourites (spelt correctly!) aren’t sold in the US. When the US Customs agent asked me why I listed $50 for chocolate I answered “Aero Bars & Coffee Crisps”. She got a big grin on her face, started to laugh, nodded her head and stamped me through. First time in 40 years I’d seen a smile! I guess “chocolate” is the answer
Hope you’re settling in and enjoy the sun-filled, warm days – I’m envious!
Anne E.
Thank You All for the kind words and prayers. We all started here in March just reading a new blog now we have become one big family. In one more week I will get to meet many of you on the bloggers cruise and thank you personally.
BIG ED
Well, my friend,
It’s good to hear from you and even better to know the the US Government has determined that you and Heidi are not a terrorist threat!
It really is a sad state of affairs globally that it has to come to this but I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there must be some arcane logic behind it. Probably the same logic that has 90 year old, wheel chair bound ladies searched. It’s beyond my pay grade and that is for certain.
I’m looking forward to the video clip, as I’m sure everyone else is.
Get to work, young man! You have much to do and little time to do it in!
Best regards to you, Heidi and the magical Roberto!
Greg
Mon Dieu, John!
You’re too nice. Our customs experience is the worst in the world. I get treated worse when I return home then when I travel to any other country. Heck, I was treated better by Egyptians toting uzis! There was a big article in October in the London Times saying “US immigration worst in the world” and they were right. Here’s the link:
http://travel.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/travel/news/article2739096.ece
Glad you survived the customs gauntlet. See you soon!
Best,
Anita
Good morning, good evening or good afternoon what ever your body wants it to feel. I feel badly about your situation. I’ve experienced that situation but not as tough as your’s. Your beginning blog believe it or not is exactly what did take place and will probably again for my wife & I when we begin our trek for our cruise. Fly out of Detroit Metro Airport, land in Ft Lauderdale, get our bags and take a bus to Miami, get our papers to go on the Freedom but before we go, have our picture taken with a big smile on our face. But this time, I’ll stop at the information desk and give hopefully a beautiful young lady an envelope to give to Mr. John Heald to let him know that Paul F. Pietrangelo is onboard looking for a tremendous week but most of all, looking for the opportunity to meet John Heald, Cruise Director and his wife Heidi. WOW.
I should be exhausted by the time I get there. But even though I might be a little tired, I’ll be enthusiastic of being there. Just to let you know also, when I passed through the metal dectection section, they pulled me to the side to double check me because the machine buzzed a second time. I had forgotten that I had placed my medication in a metal container in my pants pocket, thus the buzz. I was worried because this was the first time in many years that I had been to an airport. I’ll be readly this time. I’ll be coming aboard with a bright smile ready for a tremendous vacation. See you when I’m aboard. Ciao my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John & Heidi, I am one who wants to say sorry for the crappy way our inspectors treated you. I know that they must treat foreign born worst then they treat returning Americans but not by much. When we return from visiting our son and grandson in Germany we also get no greeting, no acknowledgment no kiss my
a– nothing. I am always a very up beat kind of person even after a long flight because I worked customer service for 10 years and know how customers should be treated, just like you do and I know that they have a hard job, but they need to drop the bad attitude. How hard is it to smile? Off the soap box.
I hope you two get over that nasty jet lag quickly. I am really looking forward to your daily bloggs again and all the exciting news to come.
I have gotten through my first week of treatments not to bad, but they tell me that these things build on each other so that may change later. 5 more weeks to go. I’m not worried, we just need to get through them all and then plan our next cruise. I say we because everyone in my family and all of my friends, are involved with what I am going through personally. Plus all the well wishers who I may never meet.
Well I have got to go. Thank You for making each day special.
CarolAnn
happy to have you mate! sorry for the border thugs though… see you in a week!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
John,
You have such a great attitude about security! Thank you!! And I would love to apologize, as an American, to your Thai acquaintance, and let her know this is not an American custom or attitude! But one of bored, tired, overworked, custom people who probably feel everyone is a terrorist and can’t be sweet or polite for fear they may be ‘horn-swaggle’ and fed a lie. I don’t know why they’re like that but they are…
And soon, I’ll see those custom personnel in Galveston… Can’t wait! Maybe I’ll ask why the ones at the airports are mean?? No, maybe I’ll just smile and say thank you! I think that would be best!
Yes, the boarding photos… That’s ‘real’ life! That’s how we look in normal, stressed times. What a wonderful momento!! I always laugh when I see mine!! It marks the begining of a relaxing trip — our BEFORE photo… Then the second to the last night is our AFTER photo. (The last night may be slightly stressed again, with packing and such…) The AFTER photo shows how we feeling in our cruising spirit! I’m ready for it and the carefree pampering!!! All I have to do is wait for the Ecstasy and ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!
On that, I’ll day dream and sigh…
Best regards,
Kirsten
Dear John & Heidi,
Welcome back!
I think.
I agree with you John that the zeal in which we react to threats, real or imagined, can use some discipline and temper. I too have had the displeasure of being on the receiving end of some of the most rude and condescending behavior from our (so-called) security forces. I think the problem is the BADGE. Put one of these MAGICAL, shiny, engraved, embellished, enameled, glistening shields on the most mousy and tame of individuals and before your eyes they suddenly become transformed into a person with no regard for dignity or understanding of basic human rights. It reminds me of Deputy Barney Fife in the classic TV series, The Andy Griffith Show. Now, if they could take a page from Andy’s book, rather than Barney’s, perhaps life in these days of over-reaction would be a bit more gentile and realistic. We are glad to hear you are back and ready to take all of your faithful blogger’s on a vacation for the ages!!
Welcome aboard. We can’t WAIT for this one.
PS… Badges… we don’t NEED no stinking badges!
good day sir
kudos` for you coming to the aid of the young lady from thailand.
jk
John;
I hope you and Heidi are now well rested and ready for whatever life throws at you two for the next several months. Several years ago, my wife and I had the same type problems returning to Miami from Puerto Rico
I was watching reruns on the Travel Channel the other day, they had a program on (several years old) about the building of a cruse ship, and what the responsibilities of each department were while final construction and the shakedown cruse was underway. I was wondering with two or three ships on the drawing board, if Carnival Cruse Lines had considered any such documentary for lack of a better term too show prospective curser’s what went into their final product,
Bob
Hey John,
Well, welcome back to Florida. We tried to get winter out of the way before you got back. Hope we managed it for you. I haven’t been to an airport in over 20 years, and from what I hear about security these days, I don’t think that I am missing anything. Maybe next time, you could hitch a ride on whatever Queen thing that would be crossing at the time. It would probably be quicker, and you would eat better.
I have some thoughts on the next blogger’s cruise. My wife thinks that it should be on the Carnival Glory. It seems that she does not want to go on another ship now. Something to do with Wee Jimmy, I guess. She is still telling people that he was wearing my mother’s tartan at the welcome aboard show. A seven day would still be better for the next one. As great as the idea of the Inspiration sounds, I don’t think I could do a five day again. That would mean missing the dining room for two days. Unless we could have George the Greek as the maitre’d again.
We will be waiting anxiously for any more news that you have.
Hope you are having fun in the capital of Cuba.
Kevin
Well, you made it across the “Big Water” only to be met by the wonderful, friendly, kind customs officers of the USA! I don’t know which is worse, the customs officials here or the guys in the Rome airport with the guns. Both are very un-nerving! Thank goodness that experience is behind you. It is 7pm here in California and 10pm in Miami right now. Hopefully you are sleeping and not still “hung over” with jet lag. Your body doesn’t have a clue what the heck is going on. I’m looking forward to the daily blogs and can’t wait to see the video clips. Thanks in advance!
Sheryl
Are you smuggling in spotted dick again? They have shots for that…bwahahahahaaha.
See ya next saturday!
Your poor body, John, I know you must feel terrible with the time changes and the Diabetes, my grandmother had it most of her life and if she veered from her eating or sleeping times she paid for it. I pray you are feeling better soon.
we are still looking for the best deal for our next cruise, and I still would love to be on one to meet Heidi some day, oh and you too.
And even if my Kevin and I can’t be there enjoy the bloggers cruise, just keep Big Ed in lines if you can
Best wishes to you both
the one and only one
Heidi-Beth
John,
You say that you run into this every time you come into the US, do you have any idea what they are doing during this time? Just curious. They are government employees and are usually under no time constraint whatsoever. If whatever it was took them an hour and ten minutes, it probably could have been done in the private sector in 15 minutes. You all did the right thing by not asking questions and making a stink because that can lead no where good in the airport. Make sure you all have fun on the blogger’s cruise, don’t let Big Ed drink to much and gamble away his life savings.
-BigMike
Welcome Back!
Glad you made it in one piece ! There’s a security “dame” in Frankfurt that has “got me” on two separate trips!! Talk about a pat down, wow!! Then on our trip in ‘06 to Rome and the Liberty, we were in line at LAX when the bomb sniffing dog jumped all over our luggage. I had a heart attack!! Nothing happened thank god!!
We just got back from Vegas where we had dinner with two performers I worked with over 33 yrs ago, it was great! Took a pic of Olives, Todd English’s restaurant at Bellagio where we were staying.
Carnival Splendor is just around the corner….kind of!!! Wishful thinking!!
Kathy and Paul
John,
A employee of mine’s husband works for those fine people I tried to get you the fatimia treatment and he laffed then grinned thinking about it. I know how much you miss her . Only kidding mate I would never have that done to a friend BIG ED on the other hand nah not him either. Glad to see you made it once again into this great…..umm….place we all mainly live in. Sorry things in this country aren’t that great read a foreign news paper watch BBC america see how other places feel about us, and the reason why our money is oh so weak against the euro. Now onto bigger and Better things I’m going to Italy in the fall Venice Rome Palermo Wondering if maybe a meet up in Venice might suit your fancy. No Harrys I promise, not with what the dollar is at I would have to not only cook my own food but wash everyone’s dishes. Have a great time on the bloggers cruise, maybe you can get me a video of what I’m missing I am of course willing to fork over some worthless american money for it if needed. Let me know Roberto knows how to reach me outside the blog. Welcome back Heidi we’ve missed you and can’t wait for your latest and greatest blog. Have a great cruise
Kevin
Hi John,
Sorry about your “welcome” to the US. They often treat we citizens like dirt so I’m not surprised what they do to you “dastardly foreigners”. Several years ago I was returning from Europe & this was before the Euro. I had all my different currencies neatly separated so I could exchange them quickly before my connecting flight. Please bear in mind that I’m a little ol’ lady & look like everyone’s grandma. The customs agent demanded my driver’s license in addition to my passport & then took my purse & dumped it upside down & all the contents went flying in every direction, some on the table, some on the floor. Needless to say, my currency was a jumbled mess along with everything else. What a “lovely” welcome home.
John (and fellow bloggers),
I sympathize with “customs victims” but don’t feel it’s a bit worse in the US than anywhere else. While living in Europe I traveled through many airports, and border checkpoints (which may no longer be used) and was always tense and felt rather like a bug under a microscope. And if you want scary, watch the security guys roaming around with their Uzis. Or what about the guys who check under your car and in the trunk, etc., before you can get into their airport so you can LEAVE their country. I never met any smiling agents and unless things have changed drastically, the only reason I can see for all the complaining about our customs agents over those elsewhere, is that everyone expects Americans to welcome the world with open arms, no questions asked. I agree that some explanation could be made for those who don’t know what is going on (like the lady from Thailand), but shouldn’t the company she works for have given her some sort of orientation as to what to expect throughout her travel experience? Especially if what happened is a standard procedure. I’m sorry if I’m being excessively defensive (and I’m not so much upset at you, John, as you expressed your understanding of all the factors involved in the situation), but I’m a little tired of all the US bashing, especially by our own citizens. Customs agents in any country are not a “welcome committee.” Their job is to ensure the security of the people who live and visit in the country. It was very kind of you, John, to explain the situation to the young lady.
Anyway…glad you’re back and eager to get to work.
Myra
Hi John and Heidi!
Welcome back! I know you had a long flight and then met with what sounds like a very unkind scene and I’m sorry for that. It was wonderful of you to help that poor young lady. I’m sorry that in these days, we have to put people coming to this country through so much to come here. I know it can’t be helped but I do wish it could be done with kindness. Anyway, I’m looking out for the daily blogs again. You always make me laugh. Only 21 days until Carnival Liberty! But i’m not counting! Take care and tell Heidi hello from me.
Leasa
Welcome back John and Heidi! I don’t know what sounds worse, sitting through the immigration process for the first time, the bill at Harry’s or Fatima?!?
John,
Well, we depart today on the Carnival Valor. Ironically, we stayed overnight at a hotel just a block away from the Carnival Cruise lines Headquarters building. We walked over just to say “we’d seen it”. I told my wife that we should go back to the hotel, get our bags then, as a joke, go to that security guard in front of the Carnival building and stupidly ask him “Can you tell us where the ship is? We’ve been all around this building and can’t find it anyware. Where do we board the ship?”
Hope you’re enjoying your blog cruise.
Eric
Good Afternoon John and Heidi,
Welcome back! I am so sorry for the rude treatment of our Immigration and Custom “Officials”. I use the word officials with some disdain. We live in a border town and have to deal with the same attitude when we go across our little pond. I’m glad that you understand and don’t judge all us by a small overbearing agency. They are there for our safety but a little kindness goes a long way. My Grandmother use to say “you get more flies with honey then with vinegar” and that is one of her beliefs I use.
See you Saturday and that will be the only “warning” I will give you. Can’t wait and we are already packed.
Joan
PS do you want me to send my “Boys” down to Miami to give your “Boys” a few lessons?? Sorry, couldn’t resist. I really feel bad for the Heat. They were such a good team and I love to watch them play. Not as much as my “Boys” but close.
Hi John.
Last month I flew from the UK to Miami and back. We went through US Immigration at Chicago… a really happy cheery guy stamped our passports… saw a lot of US stamps… asked us why… we told him that we like cruising.
He kept us for about 10 minutes asking which ship was best for honeymoon for him and girlfriend… which caribbean ports… a really friendly guy.
As we got off the ship after our cruise the guy at Miami port was equally friendly… he corrected our green cards with his biro (we’d put the wrong port of embarcation) asked us how the cruise went, and wished us a good flight back to the UK.
Back home, in Manchester, Englend, the miserable devil couldn’t even respond to my “good morning”.
You can do the same job with a smile or a scowl… it has no bearing on your efficiency.
HI John/Heidi:
I guess I shouldn’t say Welcome Back to America
Glad you landed safely.
Hope all is well!
David
Hi John!
I have enjoyed hearing about all your fun on the Freedom. My husband & I are re-doing our honeymoon on the Freedom this Feb. 23. He had chest pains as we pulled into St. Martin & they kicked us off the ship..(they were wonderful to us).
Five days later back in Orlando he had an emergency triple bypass..at 54. (some say I wore him out…being 15 years younger…they’re just jealous
He is doing wonderful and we are ready for honeymoon..take 2. We’re bringing 6 family members with us. Look for the crazy group at any of the bars. Hope to see you on board!!