Schools Out « John Heald's Blog

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008...9:27 pm

Schools Out

My school days were a mixture of hard work, strict discipline accompanied by a forced sports program and home work each and every night. Our uniform was a bizarre mixture of purple and black with the trousers made from a torturous material called “serge.” This material had you feeling like a thousand tiny insects were running up and down your legs stopping only to tickle you with a feather………..it was hell. Our lessons included the basic Math, English, French and German and, of course, the sciences of Biology and Physics.

Then there were the practical subjects of Woodwork, Metalwork and Technical Drawing.

Now, while I was never the sharpest tool in the shed at English and Math when it came to the practical subjects I was thicker than an armored plated elephant and stood out like a Frenchman in a packed elevator on a hot sunny day………………I stank.

This, of course, was much to the annoyance of my Father who is a brilliant furniture maker and as you have seen from his Carnival shrine/office can turn a piece of wood into anything he sets his mind to…………………my piece of wood just turned into many smaller pieces of wood with nails protruding from them at very weird angles. I remember once we were asked to make a pencil box which I did and in fact I was quite proud of it……………..the only problem was that the pencil would have had to have been less than 6 inches long with a sharp bend in the middle…………I was awful.

Then there was sports…………………now for those who know me you are expecting me to say that I was rubbish at sports………….well, actually……………………..you would be right. I loved playing cricket and football it was the others that I did not understand. We had a very intense summer sports program of athletics were dressed in white shorts and a white T-shirt we ran around a grass track, did the long jump and through a large metal ball called a “shot” as far as we could which in my case was barley enough to avoid crushing my own toes.

After the sports there was the living hell of the changing rooms and that smell of sweat and fear that I will never forget. Even today if I get lost on the ship and accidentally end up in the gym I pass through the dressing rooms and remember the school bullies David Pattern and Shane Ibrahim flicking all us with wet towels and laughing at the size of our…………….ummmmmmmmmm…………….well you know. I am sure that David and Shane are now two up standing pillars of society holding down great jobs as Bank Robbers or Lawyers.

I have often wondered what I would do if I saw them today? They gave me and many others such hellish times but I guess that was 30-something years ago and if I saw them now I would probably shake their hand, wish them well and then kick them both in the Albert Halls.

Why, I here you cry is he rambling on about his school days? …………… ahhhhhhhhh …………….good question and I will answer it in a minute, however, let’s chat about today.

Today, (Tuesday) the Carnival Imagination is sailing through calm blue Caribbean waters heading to Grand Turk. Heidi and I awoke early this morning and after I was scolded for leaving a ring of toothpaste around the sink the night before we headed for breakfast.