It was around 5 am that the spicy sauce from the previous night’s chicken wings decided to return in a gaseous form and I woke wondering if someone had hidden an AK 47 under the blankets. After discovering that the sounds of automatic gun fire were in fact coming from my bottom, I tried to get back to sleep but it eluded me> I tried counting sheep, narrating the boat drill and even resorted to doing top ten lists………..you know……….cars……ports of call………fantasy women……….fantasy men………….fantasy sheep…………but alas I was wide awake.
I considered waking Heidi to tell her that I couldn’t sleep but that would have been a huge mistake and it would have been safer to be trapped in an elevator with a lion who has eaten nothing for a week than to wake Sleeping Beauty…………………so I laid there…………..alone……………in the darkness…………listening to the occasional sound of gunfire.
