Good Morning everyone. Here I am, back home on the Carnival Freedom and, as I sit here at 7:18 am at the computer in my underwear writing my morning section of the blog, it feels like I have never been away. As always, yesterday was a very long day as it always is when you walk back on board and take the reigns straight away. However after the previous day I was ready for anything.

We sailed away from Miami and goodness me how much that has changed with new apartment buildings and houses everywhere.

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I had no intention of writing a blog today but after the experiences of this Friday I had to put them down on paper or in this case my lapdancer top thingy. First of all let me do something.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
There, that’s better…………..I had a good scream and apart from waking the entire 3rd floor of the hotel it helped a little.

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I cannot remember the last time I spent so much time sitting down and for the last three days from the hours of 8 am – 7 pm — that is exactly what I have been doing……………..sitting…………sitting and more sitting……………………and that is what I am doing now, sitting, at 6 am writing to all my friends in blog land. I am sorry that I did not slap on a full blog yesterday but we had some internet problems here which as you can see have been resolved. I left Heidi sleeping in the cabin making those strange purring noises occasionaly interupted by a lip smacking sound she does as if she is dreaming of eating a bowl of pasta.

For this blog I have come to the deck 9 area by the pool. I have a cup of monkey tea and as I look around the only other people I can see apart from the wonderful crew preparing for breakfast are two guests and I have a feeling that they have yet to go to bed. One of them just walked past me doing a Charlie Chaplin impression, staggering with legs apart clutching on for dear life to a bottle of beer as though it is made from pure gold. His friend is just behind him and he is walking like one of those creatures in a Zombie movie…………he though has lost his golden bottle and doesn’t look to happy about it.

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Hello everyone.

I am so sorry I have not posted a blog today. We are having technical difficulties with the Internet and only the raspberry is working. Anyway, it’s been a long day and as much as I would love to type a full blog, doing at on this thing that has keys smaller than a sparrows kneecap, I shall wait until tomorrow.

By the way, some have asked the question that “If all the Cruse Directors are here, who are on the ships?” Well, the ships are a fine care of talented Assistant Cruse Directors who are doing a fine job……they are the future, after all.

Once again, please forgive me for not posting but tomorrow’s blog will be well worth it…..oh yes, it will be complemented by lots of photos.

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi

There are many of our cruise ship guests who do not appreciate the fact that we have a dedicated cigar bar on our ships but as I sit here and write to you and with respect……………..those people at this moment in time are far from my mind. It has been a long and productive day which started at 8 am this morning with a quick breakfast and then from 8:30 am – 6:15 pm we have been in conference. Therefore, as I blog to you know the soft leather of the Oxford chair and the silky draw of my Cohiba Siglo 6 are very welcome……………all that’s missing is a nice fire, my favorite pair of slippers and Jessica Simpson. Talking of chairs the only negative aspect of the conference so far are the awful chairs we have been forced to sit on. They have to be the most uncomfortable on the vessel and as hard as an armadillo’s shell……………and my bottom is not happy.

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It was around 5 am that the spicy sauce from the previous night’s chicken wings decided to return in a gaseous form and I woke wondering if someone had hidden an AK 47 under the blankets. After discovering that the sounds of automatic gun fire were in fact coming from my bottom, I tried to get back to sleep but it eluded me> I tried counting sheep, narrating the boat drill and even resorted to doing top ten lists………..you know……….cars……ports of call………fantasy women……….fantasy men………….fantasy sheep…………but alas I was wide awake.

I considered waking Heidi to tell her that I couldn’t sleep but that would have been a huge mistake and it would have been safer to be trapped in an elevator with a lion who has eaten nothing for a week than to wake Sleeping Beauty…………………so I laid there…………..alone……………in the darkness…………listening to the occasional sound of gunfire.

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GIANTS:……….a being with human form but superhuman size, strength. 2. a person or thing of unusually great size, power, importance,

So says the Oxford Dictionary and tonight the New York Giants were indeed super human showing great size in defense and super human dedication in overcoming the Patriots……….the underdog won and that was great to see.

It’s 11:05 pm and I have just returned watching my first Super Bowl game here in the U.S.A……….and tonight……………I feel like a true American…………I will explain about that later.

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Good morning, it’s Sunday and as I write this to you at 8:30 am, Heidi is enjoying an extra hour of sleep. I can see her now in the bedroom doing her usual starfish impression. I would like to say she was dreaming of me now but last night she confessed her undying love to someone called Jokein Phoenix who we saw in a movie on the hotel movie channel………………….which by the way cost $17.

The film was pretty bad to be honest………..something about two brothers….one a police officer and the other involved with the mafia……………anyway, the movie was ruined by Heidi’s gasps of ooooooooohhhh and ahhhhh every time this Phoenix geezer took his shirt off.

So, today is the Super Bowl and every station is predicting who will win and judging by what they are saying if I were the Giants I would just stay in bed with a cup of cocoa and watch Gone with the Wind. They are apparently the underdogs and therefore I will be screaming for them. I know a little more than I used to however I must confess that when I first watched a game I and millions of other Brits hand no clue what anyone was talking about.

The game was between the Cowboys and someone else……………what I do remember was that the quarterback………….can’t remember his name was all over the British papers. Now remember we are talking about the mid eighties here and well before the now huge amounts of money that footballers (soccer players) are now earning. Therefore, when the papers told us that this quarterback chap was being paid one million dollars to wear a sweat band round his head with the Adidas logo on it………………we thought the world had gone mad.

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To start I wanted to say thanks to Carnival for allowing me to sail on the Carnival Imagination. Thanks to the Captain, Officers, Staff and Crew for their warm hospitality. I hope to sail on another ship soon but until then there is work to be done as I return to my job as Cruise Director.

Tomorrow (Saturday) Heidi and I will disembark the Carnival Imagination. This of course means packing and unpacking and this is a guarantee that at sometime during the weekend you can guarantee that I will be back in the doghouse again. I am excited to see a Super Bowl game. I have never watched one in full and I shall be sitting in my hotel room with a bag of Doritos trying to understand the rules. I really do not care who wins I just want to experience all the hype for myself.

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I have not been to Nassau for many, many years. I used to come here twice a week for many years on the Carnivale and later on the Fantasy. I remember we used to stay overnight and many guests would purchase tickets to see the show at Carnival’s Crystal Palace Hotel and Casino. The show always sold out because of a magician who performed with black panthers and tigers…………..or maybe because it also featured topless dancers. There was a rumour that the penthouse of the hotel featured a robot who was programmed to serve drinks…………………..I of course never got to see the Penthouse but I do remember many fun nights spent in Nassau.

Probably most of you have been to the Bahamian capital before so I am not going to going to chat about Nassau too much. Heidi and I will see if we have time to go ashore today but first I want to praise other areas of the ship.

Before that I should tell you about last night. Following a fantastic day at Half Moon Cay, Heidi and I had dinner in the Spirit Dining Room and then I met up with my old mate Miles Willis the Hotel Director. Miles is as British as Benny Hill, Cricket, Are You being Served, Sherlock Holmes, Yorkshire Pudding and Spotted Dick.

(Jorge Solano, Jennifer De La Cruz, Miles Willis and Me)

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