Thursday, March 6th, 2008...10:39 am
German lessons and a very unpopular sandwich
Some times in this job things happen that you would never ever have been able to plan ahead for…..things that make you smile and things that make you say “Why the heck did I not think about this and prepared myself?”…………..Today was such a day and more about that later…………….but first.
Good Afternoon…………I have decided that following this mention of it I will no longer be referring to my Bell’s Palsy until such a day when I see an improvement ………literally. Every time I think about it or write about it I feel down on myself so I have decided to adopt one of the finer British traditions and break out the stiff upper lip…………can’t do the bottom one as that is droopier than Droopy’s ears ………….I was going to be crude then and mention Dolly Parton……….but decided not to.
So, the British Stiff Upper Lip that got the country through World War II and 10 years of Mr. Blair has now been deployed and there will be no further mention of my condition……………I will say that this morning when I took my patch off my eye it saw a range of colours and images that were quite weird. I felt like I was trapped inside Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody video …………. Anyway ………..no more talk of this dam thing……….if I could whistle right now it would be the tune to Bridge Over the River Kwai………….there was the British Stiff Upper Lip at its best.
We have just left Grand Cayman where the tendering operation went very smoothly today. We started at 7:30 am and by 10:30 am we had only 400 guests left onboard. Heidi tried to persuade me to go for a walk but I really didn’t want to and besides, Grand Cayman has seen enough Pirates in its time without another bloke with a patch over his eye……….oh………that wasn’t referring anything about my condition………..well………….maybe a little …………sorry about that.
Anyway, instead of heading ashore I tried to rest, not speak and lay down …………. I did………….20 minutes later I realized that doing this was like a blunt stick……..pointless. So, instead I started working on the Carnival Capers for the Carnival Splendor. This is really hard as the ship is a new design and it’s tough planning what you want to do without seeing the layout, etc. Anyway, I got some of the first eight-day cruise completed where I could, which gives me a head start for June. While I was doing this I made Heidi (she refused at first) go and sunbath on deck for a couple of hours……………she has been very busy looking after me and I wanted her to relax a bit today……………….she did.
When she returned she told me of an interesting sight she saw. There were very few people on deck with most ashore. Now, I may have mentioned that on every ship, every cruise, there are people who never step foot ashore. For them the vessel is the total destination and they enjoy the peace and quiet that the ship offers when the majority of the guests are ashore.
So, today Heidi was on deck 10 in the sun, it was 11:30 am and she watched in amazement as two people……………in their sixties…………laid just ten feet away from her………………..naked as the day they were born……………….the man was lying on his stomach roasting his bottom in the sun and the lady was lying on her back roasting her everything. Heidi could not believe her eyes. The same could be said for the other two couples in the area and of course the poor pool steward nearly fainted when he walked by.
Heidi had no choice but to go over and tell them that this was not allowed ………….. she was the right person to do this……….because…………..they were both German guests. Heidi then told them in fluent German to put some clothes on which basically translates to “Putten On das clthes as allus Kan das boobies und dangly bittszen geseen.”…………they did immediately but told Heidi that they had been allowed to do this on other cruises they had taken when the ship was in port. Heidi apologized but said that Carnival does not allow any clothing optional sun bathing…………..they were very polite and understanding. Is that true?…………Does Aida and NCL allow this? ………… Surely not……………I am positive that your bits below the waist line have to be covered for sure and even the ladies I think have to wear a Stoppen Von Floppen………..Bra/Bikini in German………….sorry, couldn’t resist.
Anyway, Heidi sent Mr. and Mrs. Muller a bottle of champagne tonight and a nice letter in German…………….she was however traumatized for hours afterwards as when she went over to talk to the couple the man who had been lying on his back turned over………….and had a nice view of his Schnitzel ………….she came back to the cabin and we decided to have lunch………….hot dogs were not on the menu.
Here are today’s random photos.
The Costa Fortuna next to us in Grand Cayman
Dancer Sergey Shchetinin
Entertainment Staff: Jeremy, Heidi, Brandon, Melanie, James and Adele
And on we go with the Q and A
DWA76……………I don’t know how many times I have opened a blog and saw your name at the start of a comment section and smiled. Your constant support is so wonderful and one day we will be together on board. Thanks mate for everything.
SHERYL PELTON…………..Just wanted to say congratulations on booking the Carnival Splendor cruise. It will indeed be fantastic to meet you and share in this wonderful European adventure together. Not long now! Cheers.
SCOTT…………I am glad you like the blog and knowing it makes you chuckle makes me very happy. In answer to your question Malcolm in the Middle will be your Cruise Director on the Carnival Victory someone who I know you will enjoy very much. Thanks again for the kind words mate and all the best.
OREGON…………..Thanks for the feedback. It is always very hard to choose destinations that will make everyone happy and ultimately there will be people who for whatever reason will not like what we choose. I wish there was a way to make everyone happy. Cheers.JAC31419…………..Thanks for sharing your story mate. The straw thing is something I am all too familiar with………it’s a little depressing. Thanks for thinking of me though it means a lot. Cheers
LV2 CRUISE………Your welcome and thanks for the nice words as always.
SPIDER……………thank you ………for thinking of Maria.
TERRI 910……………..Your point is an excellent one. One joke that will make 3,000 people howl with laughter may indeed offend one person who if they are vocal about their dislike of it will become the one person you remember. It is difficult not to but sometimes you just have to remember that old saying that you cannot please all the people all the time…………..I just really want to though. Thanks for your observations and your support of me and my thingy. All the best.
STEPHANIE AND PAUL………….I am indeed going to try Boston Legal in a moment again as everyone has told me I should …..Let’s see. Far be it for me to advise parents what to do with the video game thing, but I think I would do as you do and limit the access to the stuff. It’s a shame but these days you seem to less kids playing outside. Anyway, give AJ a big high five from me and Heidi and I send our best to you all.
JENN………..Your posting about the games summed it up oh so well with a six-year-old playing something called God Of War…..that’s why we have the games we do on board because that’s what the kids want to play……………who am I to judge? I wish I could be curled up in bed but I must carry on otherwise I think I may just go rather mad. Thanks for the great posting and my best to you and all your family.
MICHELLE………..Thanks to you and Tom for those lovely words.
SOUTHERNDREAMS……………33 days together…………that’s really something to look forward to. Can’t wait to see you both again. Are you going to watch the leaves turn colour this year? Best to both you and Charles.
JAKE SILVERBERG…………………………..Thank you for the Birthday wishes. That was very kind of you.
ANGELA……………….What a lovely posting. Saying that one of our dancers Sergey looked like your husband who is currently serving in Iraq was so humbling to read. I will make sure I tell Sergey and I am sure he will be very happy to hear this. I am sure you are very proud of your husband as is everyone who reads this blog thingy. Please keep reading, if there is anything else we can do for you, let me know. Most importantly, please send our best wishes to your husband.
MARK HAIZLIP……………Really looking forward to seeing you next week. I laughed out loud when I read all the things you don’t want to happen to me, before you sail. Please drop me a line at the Pursers Information Desk, letting me know you are on board. I promise I will do my best to make sure you and your fiancée have the best cruise ever.
LAMB KNUCKLES……………..I cannot believe that just by mentioning a Cunard cruise for the bloggers it has caused so much feedback. In the weeks to come, I will see where this is going to take us. Thank you for the kind words for Heidi, Stephanie and Roberto. I promise not to tell you know who that you eat lamb.
ZYDECO CRUISER………………..Certainly, you are correct mate that the dress code on the Queen Mary 2 will be very different to a Carnival experience. This is one of the many things I am going to take into consideration before we would be moving forward with this. I am really looking forward in the summer.
KEVIN………………I guess I am one of those few people who have never really got into the computer game thingy. Maybe I should save the world, chop up a few heads and hit a zombie over the head with Bambi’s dead carcass. Maybe then I would understand what all the fuss is about. Thank you very much for saying how much you are looking forward to the 2009 Bloggers Cruise, as of course am I so we can finally meet. Cheers mate.
JOSH CHRISTOPHER……………………Thank you for finding a way to get a hold of me and I am so glad that you and your family enjoyed the cruise so much last week. I am not sure if you read the sad news of the last gentleman we disembarked. He, unfortunately, passed away. I know we should keep master copies of ever week’s events and shows but we don’t so I am sorry to say you will have to rely on your memories of the fun we shared together. I hope we will see you and your family again soon. All the best.
MICKEYSPEL……………….Thanks Myra, I really am trying. Hopefully things will work out and I will be better soon. I see you found a way to put your photo on the thingy. It’s great to meet you. Cheers.
OLD YEOMAN…………….It must be fun for you to go back all those years and relive the times on the ships. If you would like to send some photos I will have Stephanie contact you and she will direct them to me. The first photo I would like to see is one of you. Thanks for all your kind words and the fun posting. Hope to hear from you soon.
CRUISING EAGLE……………Hopefully by now you saw the information I slapped on about the Carnival Elation shore excursions. Please let me know if you have any further questions. Cheers!
CRAIG……………..Murphy should be in the brig because he and his laws are getting on my bloody nerves. Thanks for the kind thoughts which I really appreciate. All the best.
JIMMIE KENNEDY………………Great idea Jimmie. I think that would work. As I said just now, my idea of a Queen Mary 2 cruise was said on a whim but now I may have to see if it can become reality. Good luck for 2010 and my best to you and the family.
BIG MIKE……………….I am afraid the story is not over with our friend as you will see shortly. There has never been a better time to have my Chief of Security by my side. I am sending a helicopter for you now.
DEANNA…………..What a fantastic job your husband has, designing computer games. I am definitely going to have to see what this is all about. I see that you mentioned Guitar Hero which is very popular and would be fantastic if we did this on our Seaside Theatre big screen. I wonder if we could do this. I will keep you informed about the Queen Mary 2 Bloggers Cruise, should this ever happen. I am glad you like the photo of the Viennese Café. It’s certainly one of Heidi’s favorite places on the ship. My best to you and your husband.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER…………….You are probably right, medications are indeed getting to me. I see the hot dog wars have started with New Jersey falling behind in the recommendations. Robert Schneider, where are you??
Thanks Carol, it’s always great to seeing your name on a post. Cheers.CAPTAIN BILL……We have an incredible video game called the STAR Center. It’s in Ft. Lauderdale and is used for all cruise ship captains to train in docking ships in various ports of call around the world. It’s quite an extraordinary kind of place and just like a flight simulator you are actually on the bridge of a Carnival ship with all the controls the same. Maybe I could do an interview with someone from there. Thanks for the great idea Captain. All the best.
SHIRLEY CALES………………Hurry up and get you and your opinions here. Please leave me a note at the Pursers Information Desk so I can call you and say hello. See you soon.
TRACY……………….Thank you so much for the kind words for everyone you mentioned. Heidi and I send our best to you.
CRUISING SUE…………..Heidi and I are also looking forward to seeing you in the summer. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.
LISA DAWN…………….I am so glad that you are enjoying the blog and in the same voice I send my sympathies to your friend at the loss of her husband. I am sure your cruise on the Carnival Freedom will provide her with some rejuvenating laughter and if there is anything I can do for you in the meantime, please let me know. My best to you both.
MARK TWAIN AND A HALF………………Three bottles of Windex, not a bad score, I want to hit 5 by the end of the month. Cheers mate.
SUSAN…….I am so happy that you have found the blog and that it is providing you with some daily laughter. I know that you and your family will have a fantastic time with your Cruise Director Steve Knisley. Let me know if you have any questions and I hope today’s blog will provide you with some more laughter.
CHERYL D………………..What a great posting and it was interesting to read more about the hot dogs of the world, your recommendation sounds absolutely fantastic. I am not sure about the group space for the Bloggers Cruise, however, I may suggest that you hook up with Cruise Critic, Cruise Mates or Big Ed as they have probably bought group space. GREG B, KUKI OR BIG ED……Any advice? When I hear that you have been blind in one eye since birth my admiration for you is so huge having had this thing over my eye for the last three days. It will be an honour to meet you next year. Cheers!
SUSAN…………….Hello my West Midlands friends and thank you for the congratulations. We will see you on the 3-day cruise and there will be a formal night on the second evening. We will have loads of tips for what you should do in Amsterdam and I would suggest you start thinking about tours that will involve the Rijksmuseum, Anne Frank’s House or the beautiful countryside where you see the bulb fields and windmills. I am glad you had a great time on the Emerald Princess, Heidi and I are certainly looking forward to ours. Put the kettle on, watch The Bill and think of me. Tara!
MIKE RICHARDSON…………………Indeed, I remember that cruise very well and I cannot believe it’s been this long since you have sailed with us. Maybe a repeat performance will be called for. Thanks for the kind words and please let me know when you are on board by dropping me a letter at the Pursers Information Desk. Cheers mate.
RIKKI BOYCE…………..Great idea. We have this dancing game in the arcade but unlike the violent ones it is hardly played. I guess that’s the world we live in. Thank you mate for all your thoughts and most of all your kind words.
LINDA HERNACKI………………The CD schedule is still being worked on, however, I can confirm now, that Steve Knisley will be the Cruise Director when you sail. Please make sure you remind me before you sail and I know you and Mike will have a fantastic time. Thank you for you kind thoughts as always. They mean so much.
CLAUDIA…………….Thank you for posting for the first time and of course I remember the cruise just after 9-11 when we rescued those fishermen. These days, people get very nervous about situations like this and I remember one man screaming at the Captain and I because he said they could have been terrorists. We are very careful and follow strict protocols, however, this time all we did was save the lives of people who have been drifting at sea for two days. I am glad you have so many happy memories and when I hear you say that I am your favorite Cruise Director, that really cheers me up. Thank you very much and I hope it’s not too long before we see each other again.
HOST STAR………….The meeting of Cruise Mates and Cruise Critic members should be a lot of fun and for sure we will have a party for all the bloggers on the TA cruise. See you in Portugal and if you or anyone from the group needs anything please let me know.
As I mentioned at the top of this blog you think you have planned for everything and then something you never thought could possibly offend someone does…………..and it leaves you absolutely gobsmacked………………..and yep……………it’s all about my friend from PETA.
Before we arrived in Grand Cayman today I had already had a civilized chat with him about the Stingray Tours we offer……….he seemed fine with this and understood these animals were indeed in their natural environment …………… and when he came back onboard he had nothing but nice things to say about that part of the tour and just when I was getting to add him to my Christmas card list he turned purple and exploded into a finger waving radical animal activist because of ………………. Turtles.
Grand Cayman’s national symbol includes one of this slow-moving, long-necked creatures some of which are looked after in Cayman’s Turtle farm. This is a beautiful place which has completely been rebuilt after hurricane damage and is along with the Stingray experience one of our most popular tours on the island.
My friend from PETA was however not discussing with me the charms of seeing the baby turtles and as many kids do there enjoying a hands-on experience with them. He was most concerned with the fact that he felt they were kept in captivity and what really made him so angry was the fact that you could also order…………………”a turtle burger” at the restaurant there……………….and that was my fault.
I explained to him that the turtle farm receives thousands of happy visitors every month and that I had never heard of anyone being upset about this before. I also suggested that he take up his complaint with the place itself rather than waggle his finger in my good eye. I mean, I don’t run the place, I don’t ask the Turtles if they would prefer a bigger puddle or whatever the heck they live in, and I certainly did not decide that for lunch today we were going to boil Tommy the Turtle alive and stick him in a sesame bun …………………. thinking about it I can think of a turtle who was on last week who I would loved to have boi………never mind.
This time, he left our conversation without a handshake and I knew that our relationship was over……………we had about as much chance of getting back together as Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Money Grabber ……. Sorry ……….Mills (allegedly.)
So, following this wonderful conversation I returned here to the cabin and was going to do more Capers and more blogging but instead decided a bit of T.V. may give me some rest and relaxation as ordered by the Doc, Heidi, Mum and Dad and thousands of you, my blogging friends.
So, I tried Boston Legal again and put in season 1, episode one on the DVD. The problem here is that unlike those simple two in one things we always had, you know the TV/DVD combos that even Paris Hilton could operate we now have a 42 inch plasma with amplifier, tuner, DVD and surround thingy sound stuff and I am told somewhere under the sofa is a something called a barker ………… sorry…………that’s woofer.
Now, Heidi knows how to turn all this crap on but can I ……… nope ………… forget Paris, I need Mr. Circuit City for this project. So, after swearing and cursing and finally calling Heidi down from Lido I settled down to watch my program.
It was after a few moments that I realized how much I miss my VCR and the video tape system. With a video you can fast forward through the part where you are told watching a pirate copy is illegal, you can fast forward through the bit that tells you that whatever anyone says on the film has nothing to do with anyone who made this film so don’t sue me…………….
I know how they feel on that one as I have my own disclaimer. Honestly though by the time you get to the thing you actually want to watch you are actually worried that any minute now an FBI SWAT team is going to come bursting in your door guns blazing just in case you are watching a pirate copy of Pirates of the Caribbean, in the Caribbean and the man watching it is wearing a bloody patch over his eye.
I never got to see any of Boston Legal because by the time I the warnings and adverts were over I couldn’t be asked…………so I went as the doctor had told me to do……….lay down and rest. As I closed my good eye I hoped I would dream of Jessica, Uma, Angelina or Catherine…………knowing my luck I would probably dream of being attacked by Mutant Ninja Turtles all wearing PETA T Shirts.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
77 Comments
March 6th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Hey John,
Turtle soup is popular in New Orleans. A different type of turtle and a different experience, but oh so good. Of course you’ll have to try it with sherry.
http://www.nolacuisine.com/wp-images/media/creole-turtle-soup-nola.jpg
March 6th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I do remember a time in 2001 on the Carnival Triumph they had TOPLESS sun-bathing on the very very top deck. I’m glad to hear they don’t do that anymore.
Personally, I loved the Turtle Farm and have fond memories of holding them. I also still have a pair of turtle earrings I got in the gift shop!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
John,
I just wanted to say hello and I hope you are feeling better. I have just returned from my first cruise experience, and I wanted to tell you we had the time of our lives. Our group, 57 in all, traveled with you last week. I hate to admit it but we were a part of the group with the 2 guys with tatoos who liked to wear thong speedo’s. I have to admit I did not attend as many shows as I would have liked to and that is one thing I would change if I could about my cruise. I did love to relax in bed and watch your shows and laugh and laugh. I did attend the Carnival Legends show and enjoyed it very much. My friend Loras Kilburg performed as Garth Brooks.
I just wanted to tell you that you and a few very special workers made our trip an exceptional one. I have a very close family and we love to have fun together. This is the 12th year in a row we have vacationed together and I don’t see it ending any time soon. I just wanted to say you are a truelly funny man and everytime I listened to you, you truelly made me laugh. Thank you!!!
Also when I left the ship I forgot to fill out my comment card. This was something that I feel is very important becasue there are some people who I think need much praise for the great service and attention that they gave our group for this week. I was wondering if there was anyway for me to still do this. Thanks again for all the laughs. I am so glad that I found your blog and I now look forward to reading it everyday!!!!
Jill
March 6th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
John,
Some brief comments. Senor PETA should not go anywhere outside the U.S. except maybe to Africa where all things are in their natural habitat. Oh wait, he may be offended by the animals eating other animals. Are you sure the turtle burger wasn’t just a burger shaped like a turtle? Zats qvite a story abot ze Germans. The only time I have been in Germany was a connecting flight through Munich. I wasn’t there for more than a few hours but it was a very nice place and I hope to return there someday. You better send a private jet, a helicopter will take too long. I’ll make sure and look out for a plane that resembles ship on a stick.
_BigMike
Chief, Blog Security
March 6th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
John:
The problem with Mr. PETA is not his Views and Opinions; it’s his lack of understanding that everyone else has the same right to their Views and Opinions. In my View you have extended yourself enough, and he is not worth the oxygen to discuss this issue any more. I’m sure he did have access to the Shore excursions before he came on board, most people that had issue with it would not have subject themselves to it, but he has to make a point out of it…. Must be a sad view always looking for the bad…
March 6th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
John,
I hope today finds you feeling better than yesterday.
Actually, my wife and I have been on two other cruises since our honeymoon, just not when you were the CD. We will drop you a note when we get on board and look forward to seeing you soon!
Better go for now. The UPS truck is here with my Amazon.com purchase for $5.99….. That’s right, my 5 year-old twins and I will be watching…..The Adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley-The mystery of the Cruise. I’m sure we’ll enjoy!!!
See you soon,
Mike
March 6th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Hope you are feeling better soon. And you and Heidi are so sweet to each other. Her adventure on deck made me chuckle. I find the real German word just as funny – Büstenhalter
Cheers, Roma
March 6th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Abe Lincoln is credited with saying that “you can make some of the people happy all of the time and all of the people happy some of the time; but you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time.”
If anyone had a chance of it, I would leave it in your hands. Have you ever had just one cruise where there were no complaints?
Deanna
March 6th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Good Morning John,
Hope this finds you much improved.
I wanted to let you know just how great BIG ED’s crew is and how this blog has touched so many lives. If not for this Blog I would have never met such wonderful, caring people and why I say this is I forwarded a request to the crew regarding the Children’s Foundation and Colgate Palmolive donating a Fun Center to a Children’s Hospital in the US. This was important because my Granddaughter Amanda was diagnosed with a kidney disease that will eventually require a kidney transplant. At the moment she is in remission and following her Dr’s orders. Her diagnosis took place at Children’s Hospital Detroit. During her first stay the hospital was wonderful keeping her and her parents informed and treating my granddaughter with kindness. I felt this was a worthy cause and ask all of the Big Ed’s crew to vote. They not only voted but sent out requests to friends and family to vote too. Through this wonderful group (family) Children’s Hospital will not only get one Fun Center, they will be awarded two for being in first place when the voting closed. I truly believe that the crew was instrumental in pushing Children’s Hospital Detroit to the top. Thank you to you for the Blog and Thank you to the crew for showing so much support.
John when you have a “difficult” guest or things aren’t going quite the way you would like think about all the “brilliant” things you have done for others and how this Blog has had such a positive impact on so many people. Thank you.
Take care
Joan
March 6th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
John, I think you got to become a comedy writer for SNL or any of the TV sitcoms. You can take any simple thing and turn it into a screen slattering thing. But if you do it would have to be a part time job you can do in all your spare time on the ship, ROFLMAO.
If you mention Cunard or QM2 one more time I will think you got a new job coming up. I hope not. Us retired blue collar workers wont be able to follow you to their ships even in steerage.
BIG ED
March 6th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Hi John,
Just when I thought it was safe to take the splatter screen off my computer, and have lunch at my desk, here comes another blog thingy. John, you have outdone yourself, even when you’re in pain and feeling miserable.
I think someone already said this, but why can’t people do research about the cruise they are about to take? I know I do. I want to know all about the ports of call, the shore excursions, etc. Remember – the Leaning Tower of Paris? And why did Mr. PETA go on the shore excursion to see the sting rays and turtles? To make sure they’re being treated ok?
Someone come up with an acronym please for the ethical treatment of cruise directors.
Get some rest, Heidi too, and enjoy the rest of the day.
Hugs,
Carol
March 6th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
John ,
I don’t know if I’ve told you, but I have to commend you for your fortitude. I don’t think I’d be so polite and understanding with some of these travelers. Mr. PETA must not leave his home. I understand the whole cruelty to animals, but come on…enough. I particularly loved my experience with the turtle farms. How much safer and cared for can those turtles be. Mr. PETA I hope you’re reading this.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
You are so funny. I hope you laugh as much writing this blog as we do reading it.
Here is my favorite knock-knock joke. Knock knock. Who’s, there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bafftub I dwoning.
Heidi did a great job handling the nudist. Guess it was good that you sent her up to get some sun. Bet she wished that she had a patch on her eye, too. I imagine it will be the highlight of the other two couples trip. LOL
Speaking of Angelina and Catherine, who is going to be the godmother of the Carnival Splendor?
Hope all went well today with Maria. And, great news about Susan. Welcome back home.
John, rest and relax means just that. You will have plenty of time to work on the Splendor capers later!
Take care of yourself.
Ann
March 6th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Hi John: Steve Knisley, don’t recognize that name, he will be new to us, haven’t sailed with him as CD yet. Thanks for the info. and I will be sure to let you know when we are about to sail. We can’t wait! We try to get 2 cruises in every year! We LOVE Carnival! Hope you are doing better, R E S T – Relax, Enjoy, Sit, and Thank your lucky stars you have wonderful Heidi in your life! Your friends, Linda & Mike
March 6th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
quoted from John’s message<<<<<<I am not sure about the group space for the Bloggers Cruise, however, I may suggest that you hook up with Cruise Critic, Cruise Mates or Big Ed as they have probably bought group space. GREG B, KUKI OR BIG ED……Any advice?
To Cheryl D : EVERYONE, no matter whether they booked with the CruiseMates group cruise, or not… is welcome to participate with our group, and the extra curricular activities we’re planning for the Blogger’s cruise. (other then the amenities like the extra cocktail party). You can share the building excitement and anticipation, and “meet” everyone on the message board we’ve set up devoted to this cruise. Come on by and visit the CM bloggers
http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=85&sid=b64880a7512535a5a7e7099548e6811f
So far, we’re planning some pre-cruise events some local NOLA folks are working on; A Pajama Party late the first night, and a Slumber Party one night — just for the ladies.
We’re going to just work around John’s Blogger Event schedule and fill in the cruise with more fun, and EVERYONE is welcome. Our goal is to make it all inclusive rather then exclusive!
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
March 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
John…
I remember when Carnival had those topless decks. Mrs. Kuki wasn’t allowed to go up there! I didn’t want people thinking I married her for her money!
Your recount of the German couple Heidi encountered reminded me of an old song — Those Boobs are Meant for Walking (on).
I’d have just told Mr & Mrs. Neked – be careful not to trip on those.
It’s a shame Mr. PITA showed up again. I think you should have a box of berets around, and hand them out to appease all the PITAs you encounter. It will sooth their PITA feelings, and make it easier for you to spot them, then avoid them.
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
March 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I’ll follow you anywhere, John. Dog, drool, QM2, Cunard but not to the dog house. Shout out to Princess Susan, Mr. Cheap. Yours,
Kathie (Kap)
March 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
John, Please reply,
I’m sure that we at the Cruise Critic Bayou Bloggin’ With John Heald cruise would be thrilled to adopt Cheryl D and her husband!!
Cheryl, email me at cruise_critter@sbcglobal.net and we’ll work it out.
GregB
March 6th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I’m so glad that you’re taking a positive attitude over this thing which has befallen you. I’m sure that shortly you’ll be telling us of how rapid your improvement is and that the Doctor is deeming your recovery miraculous.
Mr. Peta will never get it, will he. The folks at the Turtle farm are saving turtles much like the folks who are rearing the Blue Iguanas. Would Mr. Peta prefer that all the turtles be dumped into the Caribbean to become food for some wandering shark? I guess you can’t win ‘em all, John. Such is life.
The Fortuna certainly did look smart in port with the Freedom, didn’t she? The family resemblance is impossible to mistake.
Now, as for Mr. and Mrs. von Floppen Bitz, have they no concern for the other passengers? The sight of someone that age in that state might well cause many of us severe gastric distress!!
Thanks for another wonderful glimpse into your world, my friend!
Pass along my regards to Heidi, Roberto and the ever so busy Stephanie!!
Cheers!!
GregB
March 6th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
John,
Just be happy that Mr. PETA didn’t throw any red paint anywhere. That is their claim to fame. I personally liked the turtle farm. Where else can you pick up a baby a sea turtle? They didn’t seem sad to me!
I know you are not talking about “the condition” anymore, but I hope you get better soon!
Tammie
March 6th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I thought I poseted this but could not see it so I hope this isn’t a repeat!
I had to laugh at the strait jacket! Does that mean that your room will soon be fitted with padded walls and we will see you wondering on deck singing “they are coming to take me away, ha ha, he he, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time!”?
Please reply: As for improvements I wait with baited breathe! Will they post them somewhere on the Carnival webpage or will we be getting them from you?
Since I am a fitness buff with bad knees~ do any of the ships have 24 hours fitness centers? I was pretty bummed that Freedom had such limited hours that I could hit the gym. 6am to 8pm or 10pm some nights. With all the fun stuff to do during those hours the last thing I wanted to do was miss something by working out, but alas I am addicted to the elliptical and with my knees attempting to run on the track is not a viable option. Any knowledge would be appreciated.
If you do get the black eye patch you will need to post a picture!
OK, I have seen many posting on this thing with lamb. So I have to ask what exactly is the thing with lamb? Are you allergic? Or was there a funny experience? Personally I like lamb. When it IS lamb not mutton. Charlie was raised on a sheep farm and his dad still has it, it is fun to go out in the spring and see all the little lambs running around. We also get some to eat once in awhile when his dad ships one to slaughter.
Also I am having one of my moments. I have searched a little on the jobs site of carnival but am not sure where it falls. If one is interested in just being part of the wait staff where does that lie? The only other thing I am interested in Karaoke host. Since I love to sing and it would be an awesome experience to host it for a period of time. Any info would be appreciated. What is too bad is that Charlie is an IT Director and had he not gotten his awesome job at Raven, I could have maybe talked him into appling for one of the IT positions at Carnival and I something else so we could have become Carnival employees together! I don’t know how keen he is going to be if I find something and want to come work for Carnival for any period of time……. time will tell.
Nope, you haven’t changed at all, you are still as handsome as you were then
Good luck with the Acupuncture. I have a saying, I will try almost anything once. Acupuncture would definitely be something to try. As for the sucking on Bat droppings to relive back ache or drinking crushed Tiger penis I think that I might pass on those.
The germans: Everyone asked me when I got back about the “sun deck” which is supposedly the topless bathing deck. So that is not even allowable anymore? I wouldn’t know, I don’t do that and didn’t bother going to look for it when I was on board.
Everyone gets negative once in awhile. Right now I am pretty negative about my job, but everyday I come in saying “I will be positive, I will be positive” sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. And there are a ton of other aspects of my life that are pretty darn positive. Right now you have some pretty crappy stuff happening and you have every right to be a little down. Being sick and all that you mentioned above, but you also have a lot of good stuff as well. I am glad that not only do you have Heidi to vent to you have all of us. You have a tough job and you do it very well, as everyone here can attest to. I am glad that we have the ability to help you get back up. So here is a pat on the back to you and yours (Heidi, Stephanie, Roberto, etc, etc) for keeping up this blog, with all it’s good and bad. And here is a pat on the back to everyone on the blog for being there for everyone else when we need it. Delegate man! I know it is hard, but everyone gets sick, and hey you getting a whole shipload of people sick along with you would suck…….
Deanna
March 6th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Greetings John
My husband and I sailed with you last week and this was our very first cruise. We celebrated my 50th birthday as well as our upcoming 20th anniversary. Never in a million years did I dream that a cruise could be so much fun. But I believe this was so much fun completely because of you. We are so fortunate to have picked our first cruise hosted by yourself which in my opinion- you should be on TV. We laughed and laughed at the live shows and again as much watching the reruns in our stateroom. Having been very busy raising 4 boys for the past 25 years, this trip was a long time coming but you made it well worth the wait. We will always cherish this first cruise as the best with such funny memories such as Dick Little, Ohio and the marriage show- which you had picked my husband to play “Trigger” the horse. This will be his new nickname now and I can’t wait to the show the video to all of our friends and family. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making a vacation to remember. Regards, Karin & Gerald Gadd
March 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
John:
Aida allows nude. Yes they do and I was a witness to that. We were onboard the Grand Princess side by side to one of the Aida’s ship in Corfu. You know the Grand Princess is much bigger and yes there were a lot of nude(completely) men and women on deck.I went out on deck and I saw a lot of people looking to that side(including Eugenio of course and some bartenders) and I went there wondering what was happening and there I saw a couple of people completely naked and we had a priviledge view from above. It got worse when some of our passengers were late and this people got up from their chaise lounge to see what was happening. Imagine.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Ahh and if you dont believe what I told you about the Aida, Eugenio took video.LOL OPPS!
March 6th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Dear John,
Along with a lot of rest I hope you will try my families cure for everything Chicken Soup. It cures just about anything : ).When you are feeling better I was hoping you could check into something for me. When we got home from the Carnival Freedom last June, a few people on the blog where talking about purchasing scrapbook pages from the Carnival web site. I have been checking and checking the shopping pages and have never found them. Does Carnival still make them and are they available for purchase?
It’s hard to believe I have been reading your wonderful blog for a year. It is so nice to come home from teaching 4year olds and having a big laugh.
I hope you feel better very soon.
Your Friend,
Terri
March 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Hi John and Heidi,
So sad you are not improving yet , you will get better !!! I am sorry that you have had unreasonable people on back to back sailings . It is just some people have personal agendas and nothing can really make a negative person happy, I know you put forth more effort than a lot of people would in there lifetime !!!
Poor Heidi ,what an eye popping experience while tring to relax. Great thing she speaks German!!! Hopfully that vision will leave her head before long !!!! Are they really in there 60’s? Unbeleivable !!!!!
( John please reply) Does CCL have a contest where you send photos from your pass cruise ? My wife showed some my photos to some of her team mates and one said that there was such a contest and I should enter some of mine . Not sure if she was on a CCL ship. If there is such a thingy , let me know the web address or what to do .Thanks
Tony
March 6th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Mike, I’m jealous. When did you order your video? Amazon said mine would be shipped on 3/4 and I’ve been looking every day hoping it got out earlier, but so far no luck. And I may not get home in time to check the mail tonight (at a rural post office box that is locked at night). And I know there were several different places selling them through Amazon. I picked one that I thought was close to Ohio, hoping that would get it here quicker. I’m leaving for Freedom a week from today, so I’m really hoping it comes soon. I think they said to allow up to 14 days, but I’m an optimist. Enjoy.
Shirley
March 6th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
HI John/Heidi:
Thank you for the nice compliment. I too really do look forward to the day that we are on board together. I know we would have a blast (and my wife would put me in the dog house too
You knew Mr. PETA was going to find something else to complain about and i agree with you that he should take it up with the actual company instead of being upset with you about it.
Cheer up and I hope you see some improvement soon. Speaking of improving, what’s the latest with Alan? How is his recovery going?
Thanks for another great blog. The Costa vessel is gorgeous.
Take care,
David
March 6th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
John,
I sure hope your starting to feel somewhat better.. Even though you probably look like Chunk from the Goonies movie, try not to be so hard on yourself.. (wink) You truly are blessed and have a lot to be thankful for.. You are an amazing guy with a wonderful wife, a job to die for and millions of truly loyal & amazing friends.. Keeping you, Susan & Maria in my prayers. I have to note that Heidi’s ordeal on deck had me in tears.. I mean continuous, belly ache and all… My face still hurts..
Michelle~
March 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
WOULD YOU PLEASE LIE DOWN AND REST SO YOU GET WELL!!!!
Jennifer and Danny
March 6th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
John,
Now that you have been back frequenting Cozumel with Carnival do you have an updated list of suggested excursions? I know that the last time I was in Cozumel I did the Passion Island excursion, but I read on cruise critic that Carnival no longer offers that excursion. I also did the Fury Catamarran back on the Sensation.
I know that you had also posted some information on the dock rebuilding in Cozumel and apparently the Inspiration will be docking in a different area than when I sailed there on the Glory. I have yet been to Carlos and Charlies and was wondering how close that would be to the dock?
Thanks for any information and keep your chin up….the sun will come out tomorrow…tomorrow…
Linda
March 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Hi John,
Wonderful blog! I laughed so hard at the sunbathing story. I had a joke for you, but it has some delicate language, but then you gave me an idea on how to tell it without being indelicate, (I hope). Here goes: The military had to come up with a retirement incentive and so they decided on a unique plan to offer a monetary bonus to anyone who would retire immediately. The catch was that they had to name any 2 body parts and they would be paid a thousand dollars per inch of the distance between the 2 parts. The first man to come in was an officer and he said measure from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. As he was 6 ft tall he got a $72,000. bonus. The next officer was a bit smarter and stretched his arms up and said measure from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. He got $96,000. The next fellow was a gristled old enlisted man who was ready to retire anyway. He said to measure from the tip of his schnitzel back to his two turnips. Well, the brass was dumbfounded. They told him of the money the other men had gotten and how this wouldn’t be much no matter how well endowed he was, but the fellow stuck to it and so he had to drop his pants and they began to measure. From the tip of the schnitzel to the….where are your turnips they exclaimed?? And the fellow answered, “Vietnam.”
We have visited the turtle farm in Grand Cayman and it was fabulous. They release one third of their turtles back to the wild. They do use a third for food and a third for research, but they are ensuring the survival of a species. I think it is a realistic and humane approach to a species that is hunted by many predators, including man.
Take care, and rest, rest, rest!
March 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
John;
Your “friend” from PETA isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. How can a place where endangered species are raised for release, therefore increasing population, be characterized as “animal abuse”? I admire how you continually try get through to some of the most unbelievable people.
Cheers
Craig
March 6th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Hello,John
Your 100% welcome for the ”HAPPAY BIRTHDAY CARNIVAL FREEDOM”,and I have been reading things about a bloggers cruise on the QUEEN MARY2.
Personaly I think its a splendid idea, but maybe alittle pricy , and I will probably not be going on the the fantasy , well becuase again im almost 12 and I cant fly from ft.luaderdae to new orleans , but my father has always wanted to go oboard a cunard oceanliner.
The queen mary 2 will one day be the greatest liner ever built after queen elizebeth2,and He loves the intament service , and he also likes the big ships.
from,Jake S.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Hi John:
I’d just like to pose one question to you:
If animals weren’t meant to be eaten, why are they made of meat?
Cheers!
March 6th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
careful, you’ll grow a tail next…. lol – I too don’t agree with PETA people, but you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t be made to feel that you need to apologize for everything. At least you didn’t put him ashore during his birthday cruise…
March 6th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
I agree with BIG ED. You should undoubtedly be a comedy writer.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Hi John – We had the same experience as Nanette when docked next to AIDAaura in Limon last year on our Carnival Liberty cruise. There we were, standing on deck 10 watching the docking process and looking over at AIDAaura when a gentleman on one of the top decks suddenly stripped off his bathing trunks and laid out in a deck chair. There was a crowd on Liberty’s Panorama Deck, port side a good portion of the afternoon when everyone returned from the shore excursions!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Shirley, I ordered it probably about the same time as you when John posted the picture of it. We are going to be on the same sailing as you. I hope your copy arrives soon so maybe we can sit around and critique John’s performance and try to figure out why Oscar never came calling!
Mike
March 6th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
hi john
I checked Cunard,,,dam there way to pricy,,
a 4 day cruise in the boiler room $999.00
we can cruise on Carnival twice for kind of
cash…..plus I think we would have to eat with the crew…stick with CARNIVAL,,,
remember WHOS got the FUN.
tom & jane
March 6th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
John -
I remember when all of the Fantasy class
ships had an adult only open deck area
on the top deck around the funnel.
By the way, how are you coming on getting
the ‘Climb This’ t-shirt into production?
I am sure it will be a top seller.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
John, not to drag out your illness again, but check out http://www.007.info/ImagesFull/TBEmilio2.htm.
Do you think HE would stand for a rabid racist or a radical PETA agent? Don’t think so. Amazing resemblance.
I believe your German sun bathers show one thing (okay, maybe a couple, LOL) that we in the US do not quite realize–the rest of the world is actually quite different. In Europe, this is not considered bad behavior, just a bad choice of time, place and continent. These people need to book a Cat 8G balcony on the back of the boat and bake to their hearts’ content.
Just got the news that our daughter will be married Oct 12 on the Pride, so we are now booked for May 25 on Elation, Oct 12 on Pride, and still hoping for Jan 31 on Splendor. We invited our children to join us on each so they could see their inheritance–as we are spending it. I love cruising!
Rus Franklin
March 6th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Hi John and Heidi!!! I’m so sorry to hear about your recent illness…excuse my bluntness and lack of better expression, but that Sucks!
Thank you everyone for your kind words of welcome!!
So, my dad has already started planning next year’s cruise on the Splendor…Wait…actually he literally just called and he’s not only planned it, but it’s already booked for Jan 17!! He wants to know if you will be on there! I think Jeff told you I cried all the way to the airport!! (I think the picture he has of me is a great marketing tool for Carnival…this is how sad people are when they leave!) The cruise was SO fantastic…it was just so great to spend time with Jeff…especially since we are back to only seeing each other a couple hours a day, but at least he’s home and I thank God for that!! Well I just got home from a LOOOOONG day at work, but wanted to wish everybody a happy Thursday and we really hope you feel better!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Rus, you missed one very important date February 7, 2009 the Bloggers cruise. You got to be there.
BIG ED
March 6th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
hello john
Iwent to Cafepress,,,and ordered my t- shirt
a big pic of the carnival funnel,,,,,
and going to get
CLIMB THIS
under the funnel
when I get it done, ,,
I will e-mail you a pic
tom & jane
hows that aston martin watch?????
March 6th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
John,
Sun bathing in the ‘all-together’ is NOT allowed??? Oh, dear… what will we all do??? (Mark that off my to-do list!) Please express to Heidi our gratitude and support! Although their bodies may be perky and beautiful… or not… she may have prevented heart attacks and fainting spells!! She was Heidi-to-the-rescue-on-the-spot…
I am HAPPY
that you will begin to look into a QM2 Blogger’s cruise. I truly think it would be a success!!!
I’m continuing to pray for you and your… you know what… and a speedy recovery! Continue resting as best that you can / will…
Regards,
Lambie
March 6th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
This is my first reply. We are boarding the Freedom on March 29th for our 16th Carnival Cruise. We cruised with you and Wee Jimmy on the Glory and on the Triumph and were very excited that you and Heidi would keep us laughing on the Freedom. However, we heard you will not be on this sailing. I look forward to reading your blog every day and the laughs it always brings. I hope the week we are on board there are not too many people like the lady last week and the gentleman (I use these terms lightly) this week. Looking at cruise talk it seems there will be alot booze cruisers on board that week. Should be fun! We are dissapointed you and Heidi won’t be on board! Thanks to you and Heidi for all the great stories and to all of the Carnival Family for all the great memories from past cruises. We look forward to being welcomed home in 23 days!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Another great blog John!
Heidi, thanks for giving John the “material”, or lack there of, for todays blog! I laughed so hard at his description of the couple on deck and your telling them in German that they had to put clothes on.
MARIA, If you are up to reading todays blog, then that means that you are doing very well after your surgery today. I am hoping that all went well and that you will be back to blogging to all of us in the very near future! All my best to you!
Sheryl
March 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Correction – URL for Emilio Largo photo is without the period at the end:
http://www.007.info/ImagesFull/TBEmilio2.htm
Cheers!
Rus
March 6th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Hi:Love the blog and all the neat stuff about the ship and its’ crew and cruisers. We are joining the Freedom foir our first ever cruise from Flrodia ot ital with 4 other family/friends couples in April –will you and Heidi be onboard? Sure hope so, as we feel like we already know you two “kids”. Keep on keeping on, do not worry, and know that hundreds nay thousands of Carnival friends are in your corner, whatever rought seas in life may pass your way. Ships Ahoy Matey!
March 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
..sorry that would be on FREEDOM from Florida to Italy April 26th cruise…. if only I could use spell check properly……
March 6th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Greetings John & Mrs. H
We were on the Fantasy back in Feb. 91 doin the Bahamas thingy & i rember playing shuffleboard (all day as i can recall…) on the top deck & there they were… all the female dancers/showgirls…. tanning topless… well at dinner that night i mentioned to the wiff how my (all day….. *cough*) shuffleboard games ended…. need i tell you more…… I walked around wearing Mouton Cadet stamped in my forehead……dam. Anywho…… Keep the humor, laughter, & wit John.
Steph sent me an e-mail concerning Worldpress…having your pic on this blog….. well i might as well be tryin to explain the basics of hygene to a Parisian……. Dam. i’m havin a hell of a time gettin that pic thingy onto this blog….
Time to put the Rent-A-Fingers to rest…
Get on the mend soon… Cheers to you & Mrs H
Richard
Montreal, Canada
March 6th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
John -
Not to bring the matter back to your attention, but your ability to drool makes you the perfect actor to play Flash, Sheriff Roscoe Pervis Coltrane’s dog.
(Sorry, I could not resist).
Now, onto the topic of the topless decks. On our inaugural cruise on the (no longer smokefree) Paradise, Mrs. MTSFP actually took me up on the sun deck – of course it was 8:00 PM and the sun was already down, but I did get to go up there.
I love Grand Cayman – I actually love the fact that you tender into the City. IMO, it is one of the joys and charms of the port.
On our last visit (Jan 2007 on the Carnival Liberty with J&D (and also Todd)), we went ashore and had lunch – amongst other things, I had turtle soup. No doubt, Mr. Person Entitled To Attention (isn’t that what PETA stands for) is enraged. I say – tough noogies, gringo.
Be well, my friend, and remember to keep thinking about how I can, on your behalf, of course, terrorize the CD (presumably Steve) on the upcoming Carnival Liberty cruise.
Jon
March 6th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Heidi was traumatized by one vienna sausage? Surely not, she’s made of sterner stuff than that! Besides, I thought half the beaches in northern europe were clothing optional. She must have seen her share of “dangly bittszen” by now. Actually, I’m more concerned about Heidi’s skin exposure: as someone who just had a hunk of his nose sliced away due to skin cancer, I hope she had a really good sunscreen on. I know I sound like a meddling old aunt, but while a big ol’ scar on my nose is not such a big deal because I was already hit with the ugly stick, Heidi is much too pretty to have it happen to her.
OK, I’m off my soapbox now. Hey, do they say “he’s on his soapbox” in England? You know, like the people at Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park?
Re: Bridge On the River Kwai. I do admire the stiff upper lip tradition, but remember that Alec Guinness went mad by the end of the movie and tried to prevent the bridge from being blown up. We can’t afford you going mad, John. Or at least, not going any MORE mad – you’re just the perfect amount of mad Englishman right now.
(And you shouldn’t go out in the midday sun, either!)
I TOTALLY agree with you about how annoying those warnings at the start of DVDs are. What I do is load the disk first, then turn on the TV and other electronic doohickeys, then go pee, then make myself a snack. By that time, the FBI/Interpol malarkey is finished and I can watch my movie in peace.
BTW, I share Heidi’s love of Boston Legal, but it is such a quirky show that I don’t tell everyone I know that they must see it. Did you ever watch the TV show Northern Exposure? If so, did you like it? If you did, then I think you should give BL a good chance. One of the fun things about it is how many ex-Star Trek people show up on it.
So, you want to earn a rating of 5 bottles of Windex? I don’t know ……. I don’t doubt you have it in your power, but if you made the bloggers spew our screens that much, you’d probably put us all in hospital. The U.S. economy is in rough enough shape without having 1.5 million more people straining the health care system.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
I remember the topless sunbathing on the top deck on the Triumph too- and I also remember my surprise when I was walking up there at dusk and a guy was moonbathing- not too sure about the flashlight he was using- LOL
John- do you think that one of the other cruise lines put a curse on you to get you sick- I can imagine they are very jealous of all the good you are doing for Carnival.
Get better soon. Deby
March 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
John, Carnival doesn’t allow nude or even topless sunbathing? I was on the Carnival Freedom in the Med. On the top deck of the ship, there were constantly naked people laying around. Most were older than your sixty-year olds. They were all very nice people; nothing lewd or sexual ever went on.
Some did a minor cover up when clothed guests walked by early in the cruise, but by the end of the twelve-day cruise – they just let it all hang out.
But, I don’t think there was a single complaint from anyone on board. (Did you hear any complaints during the summer?) Everyone was and acted as mature adults. It was accepted on the beaches of Dubrovnik and Cannes, so why not on board of the ship.
If it bothers some people, then they shouldn’t make the effort to climb the stairs to an upper deck and look for fellow passengers relaxing in the sun au naturel.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I will join the throngs and send hope that you are feeling better.
We are off next month for five days on the Elation. After reading your blog for a very long time, I know there’s room for those of us who don’t have kids or have a party central focus.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Hi again John
I am sorry that you feel so down on yourself about the Bell’s Palsy. You are still you and you are still our hero. It hasn’t changed anything for us and it is amazing that you can make a joke of almost everything, including your Palsy!
In answer to Jill about how to comment after the cruise, just go to Carnival.com, then to contact us and there is a form you can fill in and email. They will respond by email or snail mail in a couple of weeks. I do this after every cruise, and Guest relations always give me a bon voyage gift for my next cruise. It is a very nice gesture.
I am sorry you have to deal with shallow minds like those of Mr. PETA. Some people have their heads up their *you know what* and can’t see reality. We all have our beliefs but do we really have to push them on everyone?
Have a great day, get some rest, and give my best to Heidi. Tell her to beware of the nudies and not to laugh too hard at the teeny weenies out there.
Take care
Gloria aka Sue
March 7th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Hello John Heald–We enjoyed our cruise on the Freedom so much (5 August 2007 sailing from Civi) that we have now booked the Liberty sailing 1 August 2009 from Dover. We have a request: On our cruise we met a delightful family from Canada, the Robertsons. The mother’s name was Helen, and the children Tristan and Emma. We can’t remember the Dad’s name. We would like to contact them to let them know we have booked the Liberty sailing and to see if they would consider booking that one too.
Do you have any way of getting a message to them, or giving them our email address so they can respond, or, even giving us their email address?
Many thanks,
Raoul Renaud, Lisa Musser, Alice (11) and Camille (9).
March 7th, 2008 at 4:17 am
Hi John
NCL has a “clothing optional” deck on some of their ships, right at the top, away from prying eyes!
Jeff
March 7th, 2008 at 9:04 am
John,
I’m sorry to hear that you have not been well lately. It doesn’t appear that it has affected your sense of humor at all. I hope you feel better soon.
My family sailed with you last week on the Freedom. It was truly the best vacation that we have ever taken. Your humor played a large part as you had us laughing hysterically all week long. My kids ages 9 and 11 absolutely loved you! Any time that we were in our cabin they would watch reruns of the Morning Show among other programs featuring you. My wife wrote you a letter on our last sea day to let you know how much the kids loved you. You made their week by leaving each of them a medal and a ship on a stick at the Legends show that night. You may recall this because my wife also sent you a bag of Chex Mix. In fact, I think she gave the rest of our Chex Mix to Heidi as we disembarked the ship! I wanted to thank you and let you know what a great job you are doing. I was hoping to do it in person but I did not have the opportunity. I know how difficult your job can be and the long hours that you must work. I’m sure other guests would agree that Carnival is lucky to have you.
I also wanted to share my kid’s perspective of the week. Last year we sailed with Disney. When we booked this year with Carnival they were not really that excited because they wanted to sail with the mouse again. By the end of day 1 they were having a great time! They attended camp carnival activities as well as some of the evening shows. I don’t think that they lost their smiles all week long. They both agree that Carnival was much more fun than Disney! We met a few parents traveling without their children because they didn’t think the kids would enjoy the cruise. I would just like to let them know that my 9 and 11 year olds are now addicted to Carnival! I walked into the kitchen the other day and my son was sitting at the table with a telephone reenacting the Morning Show. John, he was pretending to be you! He actually said that he wants to be a cruise director when he grows up. Kudos to you John!
I have no choice now but to book again for next year. We are all looking forward to it. Planning our next cruise and reading your blog has definitely eased the post-cruise depression that we have been suffering from for a week now. Incidentally, the debarkation was not that bad so please don’t sweat it. It take a little while but no one around us seemed to mind very much. Everyone was in good spirits and reflecting on the wonderful week that we had. Keep up the great work and we hope to see you on one of our future sailings.
The Lovell family
March 7th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Hi John
Its been great reading all the news and gossip over the months, sorry to hear you are not to good, but things can only get better! All quite here in Thorpe Bay.
Dave & me are going on the Splendor for the 3 nighter on July 10 (too good an opportunity to miss), also taking my 14 year old son David as this will make him a platinum card holder. Can you tell me what we can expect on the 3 nighter, Will the super club be open? Do we need to bring formal wear/formal night? Will everything be open as normal? looking forward to driving to the boat only a couple of hours away from home, so will arrive early and hit that lido deck for a few cocktails! I also hear the naming will be taking place is this correct?
Thanks for all the fun, take care
michellex
March 7th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Mike, I hurried home last night and got there a little after 8 (when the post office is supposed to be locked up). Luckily, it was still open. Unluckily, my video was not in yesterday’s mail. So I’ll look and hope again tonight. We are expecting up to a foot of snow in Central Ohio in the next day or so, and the video would be a great diversion while I’m hybernating this weekend.
Our cruisecritics group is meeting in the piano bar at 2 on Sunday (our first sea day). Maybe you can join us then.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:19 am
John:
Glad to hear you’re continuing the British tadition of maintaining a stiff upper lip. Of course, I learned on my first trip to England that there is another phrase for it: keeping your pecker up!
I imagine you’ve sailed with enough Americans by now to know that was met with wide eyes by me!
Terri
March 7th, 2008 at 10:20 am
In your profession it is perfectly understandable to be self conscious about something like a Bells Palsy condition ..it would be very tough and I’m sure that the guests on board appreciate your tenacity and dedication to your position…that stubborn British upper lip….
I knew that Mr. PETA would be back….they seldom can leave well enough alone…..I have heard of PETA displays where they go nekkid…should fit in well with your other guests who opt for the ancient Carnival clothing optional policy……
Speaking of clothing optional….it would make airport screenings a heck of a lot easier.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:24 am
John,
I hope you get to feeling better soon, I remember years ago when my dad had a bout with Bells Palsy as well. His face slumped, and his eyes wept as well. I think it lasted like a month for him.
I feel so sorry for you having to spend so much of your time on a couple bad apples. The racist lady you had to deal with last week and now Mr. PETA this week. Can’t you just have a week where everyone gets along…. It drives me nuts to hear people complain about hiring from other races without knowing all the circumstances. I’m sure you have a pool of only so many people that want to fly around or travel full time to entertain on a cruise ship. I have been on 10 Carnival cruises and I would say they have the most diversified group of employees I have ever seen (although I did notice most of the captains are Italian) I figured that is because they have the most experiences, plus being direct descendants from Christopher Columbus. I always think to be a good company and give your customers the best product you have to hire the best people to do each job. I went to an NBA game and there was not a white man to be found on either bench. I didn’t go down after the game and complain I know they try to get the best people for their company and their fans. I don’t know why we can’t just all be people and not colors. As for the PETA guy it just makes me batty to see someone pushing their views, opinion, and lifestyle, on to others thinking everyone should adapt to them. I don’t drink or smoke but I don’t go on a cruise and expect them to not let others do this stuff. It just amazes me to think people have this right. Well enough on the soapbox today this is supposed to be a fun blog.
I mentioned the other day that you broke a man law by throwing us guys under the bus when you asked the wives to see if we remembered our vows. Now I read that Heidi has to work the electronic equipment for you. I’m going to start wondering if that dress you wear at times is only a costume. Keep up the great words and the stiff upper lip….
Thanks for the smiles
John
March 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am
HOST STAR………….The meeting of Cruise Mates and Cruise Critic members should be a lot of fun and for sure we will have a party for all the bloggers on the TA cruise. See you in Portugal and if you or anyone from the group needs anything please let me know.
john,, when you can confirm a meeting place and time for Cruise Critic let me know, thru here or Roberto.. thanks…
March 7th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Just found your blog a few days ago and am enjoying it a great deal. We’re booked (DH, myself, and our son age 5) on the Victory on the 23rd. This is our 6th cruise (3rd on Carnival). Any hints about the Victory we should know? My son loves kid’s club on all ships, anything special on this one? Also, we’re planning our August cruise and would love suggestions. We prefer longer cruises and more sea days. Must have a good kids program, we tend to make the most of whatever port we’re in…
Thanks for an interesting read each day!
March 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Hi John, Thanks for the good time on the Bloggers cruise, Just wanted to tell you what I thought PETA stands for, “People eating tasty animals”. Im from Pa and a hunter.
Love reading your Blog
PA Dutchman
March 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
John,
I came across your blog while planning for a Carnival cruise (our second). I’ve been reading for a month or so. The blend of humor, facts, and your compassion make for a great blog. I look forward each day to hear what absurd/amusing thing happened that day. I think that today ’s sunbathing story is at the top of the list. What will tomorrow bring?
Trade winds
March 7th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
After we visited the turtle farm and learned they were actually raising and releasing large numbers of these turtles into the wild, hubby and I promptly went out and ate turtle burgers — guilt free since this endangered species was being replenished around Cayman. LOL
Originally the Cayman turtle farm was established in the hopes that farm-raised turtles would be exempted from the ban on importing turtle products ( of this species, that is) in the US. So the original intentions were not exactly turtle-friendly.
No need to tell your PETA friend that, but he should know about the raise-and-release program.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
John, I feel so bad for you and your frustrations with your current condition. And I’m afraid my usual mood brightener won’t work for you. Whenever things are going wrong for me, I just think about my next cruise.
They just announced a level 2 snow emergency for my home county and I can’t go home from work tonight (I live 40 miles from my job). But I brought my DVDs of my recent Carnival Liberty cruise with me this morning, so I am going to my daughter’s house tonight and watch them and remember cruises past and anticipate cruises future (one more week!).
March 7th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Shirley, What is the cruisecritics group? I’ll be glad to join you on Sunday, just let me know what it is so I know what to expect!!!
Mike
March 7th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Dear John: (For Your Amusement)
I was wondering if possibly Mr. & Mrs. Germanflopalot were really Adam & Eve:
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
“So, how is everything going,” inquired God.
“It’s all so beautiful,” she replied. The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem . . . . It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,” reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. . . . she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced,” – as she put it.
“That is a fair point,” replied God. “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.”
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tosed it in the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God, once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
“Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?”
“Just fantastic,” she relied, “but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram, and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let’s see . . .
where did I put that useless boob?”
Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib??
March 8th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
John: Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blogs. I am traveling with a friend on the freedom in Sept, and so look forward to your talks and stories. I was on the Elation this past spring and went to a turtle farm and did it ever dawn on your PETA “friend” that with out these programs we wouldnt have ANY turtles. When they are hatched in the wild many dont even make it to the water. Oh well this world is full of silly people…..Looking forward to Sept and the sunny Med.
Georgina
March 8th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
John:
I am sitting here laughing my ” butskey ” off….Your poor wife!!!
March 11th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Hi John,
Nice random photo of Sergey Shchetinin (Carnival Dancer). He’s a great dancer and I’m sure the ladies on this blog liked the picture. But for us guys, how about posting a photo of dancer Krysta B. (don’t know her full last name). She’s a fantastic dancer, and is stunningly gorgeous!
(thank you in advance)
We’ll be booking our next Carnival cruise in a couple of days (hope to see you in Feb 2009)! It will be our 7th cruise with Carnival and hopefully one of our largest groups ever!
Leave a Reply