I am in the doghouse…………it’s Saturday and it’s only 6:35am and I am there with the door slammed shut behind me………..why………..because I dared to mention Heidi’s socks.
Let’s back up a bit first shall well. The sound of the 5:45am alarm was as welcoming as a scorpion in your underpants and after portraying a one eyed Dolly Parton last night it was the last thing I wanted to hear. Anyway, Heidi who is in charge of the debarkation process sat bolt upright switched the alarm off and then an ejector seat propelled her from the bed into the bathroom for the ritual of getting ready.
Now getting dressed in the morning should take no more than 20 minutes during which time you can shower, dress, poo, pee, pick your nose and still have time for a coffee and three bacon sandwiches while enjoying Wolf Blister on CNN.
For Heidi however the getting ready in the morning thing takes an hour. A lot of this time is spent doing her hair……..not once………but two or three times so that every single hair is exactly where it should be. To achieve this perfection she uses a hair dryer that has more power than an Aston Martin Vanquish and costs about the same as well. It also generates more heat than Jessica Simpson in a pair of leather pants so by the time her hair is finished the cabin is so hot you could grow Orchids in there.
However, this morning it was not her hair that got me in trouble it was her socks……………as Heidi was putting her suit on I noticed she was wearing a pair of…………….things…………….I had never seen them before “what are they” I asked………..”pop socks” she replied……………..”pop socks, I haven’t seen anything like that since I visited my Great Aunt Maureen.”………….Now I should explain that my great Aunt Maureen is 2000 years old and is a wonderful kind person. However, she tends to wear clothes that are ummmmm a little………..dated.
Therefore, saying that Heidi was wearing something Great Aunt Maureen would wear was not received very well and after I was told that they were comfortable and sensible with heels etc that was me back in the doghouse.
Comfortable………….sensible………………who cares……………they look like something the Golden Girls would wear and are about as sexy as a boil.
Now I know that as I continue I am heading for dangerous waters but I mean this with the greatest respect. I want my young wife to do what they do in the movies…………….the lady wakes up…………..stretches a long hairless leg onto the side of the bed and puts on a pair of stockings and suspenders ……………………..is that too much to ask?
Heidi and her pop socks have just left and I am sitting here having just completed another 20 minutes of facial exercises which so far have been of bugger all help. Heidi and the Doctor say my eye is getting better and actually I can close it now …….it takes an hour to do it but it does close and that, they say is a good sign.
I still have French mouth (no taste) and I still speak with a lisp. Mr. Bell it seems likes it here and is now going on his third cruise and heading for Platinum status.
So, I had acupuncture last night before the show. It was a very strange experience and I have the follow up treatment tomorrow. A young man from the Spa called Ryan did the treatment and he started by massaging the area around my neck and head. Now, I have to tell you that I hate massages………I have never liked them……….that’s just me but as he started to massage the neck area I didn’t care …..I just wanted Mr. Bell to say “au revoir” and return to Jean Claude and his friends in Paris.
After the massage I was relaxed and a little sleepy……….Ryan was about to insert the needles when in my state of near coma I heard him say “You are going to sense a few small pricks”…………….I was going to tell Ryan that I had already done so earlier that night when I met the some of the rude guys from the University of Kentucky but I didn’t because that would have been rude.
Anyway, I had the treatment and lets hope that it’s the start of the recovery process.
Debarkation is underway and once again it is not going very fast. It is now 10:43am and I just returned from the lobby. We still have about 300 guests left onboard and the system has to be better. I have been here for 5 weeks and out of those 5 weeks only two were weeks where I was proud of the system. The rest of the time I have been anything but proud. I know this is a concern for every line and we will all continue to work hard with our friends from CBP to find a better way. Can you imagine 5000 guests disembarking in the Port Of Miami from one ship?
It’s 5:30pm now and here are the demographics.
TOTAL GUESTS – 3515
NUMBER OF GUESTS AGED 18 – 25 = 221
NUMBER OF CHILDREN AGED 18 AND UNDER – 896
NUMBER OF NON US/CANADIAN GUESTS – 186
MOST REPRESENTED = 36 = U.K.
OK, here are today’s random photos.
The bridge officers
The ship’s chart of the port of Miami
The Captain’s Chair
The ship’s wheel
Captain D’Aita and Staff Captain Luigi
A “thing”
And now the last letters from last weeks In Their Own Words Section.
On we go with some Q and A
RYAN’S MUM……………hello Mum. I am so sorry for saying that your son Ryan was from Canada. I have no idea why I wrote that so let’s correct it now. Your son is from Indiana and regardless as I said he is a great Cruise Director………just not Canadian. I was happy to know you read the blog thingy and you should know that I think your son has a huge future in front of him. Hope all is well in Indiana and Canada as well. Cheers.
J LONG………..Firstly let me say thank you for reading the blog for the last couple of weeks. Things will have changed here at carnival since your cruise on the Festivale and even since your short vacation on the Carnival Fantasy. I cannot find the words to say how humbled I am that you are going to come home to us because of the blog thingy. I know you must have enjoyed the last four cruises with whomever you sailed with and I will promise you that we will all make sure that you will not regret the decision. Please let me know if you need any help deciding when and where to cruise and until then I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy each and every day. Cheers.
RUTH JAMISON…………..I sometimes need reminding Ruth how important peoples vacation time is and how the simple photo of the Carnival smoke stack can bring the odd tear to your eye. I know how hard you and Mr. Jamison work and reading your posting gives me incentive to make sure that your Carnival Splendor cruise is the best one yet. My best to you both and see you soon.
KEVIN…………..I knew that mentioning celebrity chefs would get your taste buds flowing and all your suggestions have been passed along the line and up the line as well. I like the sound of the Anthony Bourdain chap maybe assisted by the young up and coming star Kevin McVeigh. Certainly it will be interesting to see if Carnival goes this way and I think that I should help decide who our Celebrity Chef is by having them all cook me Spotted Dick…………..the best recipe wins………….which means my Mum.
Anyway, I hope one day to be able to taste your culinary masterpieces for myself. Hope all is well mate and see you soon.
JAY WISE…………Thanks Jay and thank you also for saluting our WW2 hero Mr. Gaylord…………..we must never forget him. I hope you enjoy today’s blog and wish you and your family well. Cheers
KATHY KROLL…………….I hear Todd English’s restaurant at the Bellagio is amazing. I was given a special treat by eating at his place on the Queen Victoria last November and it was extraordinary. I will make it to Vegas one day and maybe you can give me some insights on what to see.
Thank you mostly for taking the time to salute the men and women of the armed forces including your Father.
My best to you and Paul.BRUNO……..ahhhhhh yes…………Mr. Ramsey. He has quite the mouth on him does he not? However, he backs up what he says with his cooking skills and in late May I hope to take Heidi to his restaurant in London for a special treat. I owe a dinner to my friends the Packers who will be visiting the UK. They love food and although they are a ribs and wings type of couple I hope to treat them to am meal there when they visit.
I would love to have Mr. Ramsey sail with us and I am sure there are many more people like you who would feel the same and want to come on a themed cooking cruise. Let’s see what the future holds. Thanks Bruno and my best to you and your family.
JOHN D…………I am glad you enjoyed the sea day blog. The weather really was perfect last week. I also hope that in 09 we can cruise together and enjoy some sun and laughter. Thanks for taking the time to write and see you soon I hope.
BELLE907…………You asked about debarkation and embarkation times in Dover for the Carnival Splendor. I would think that boarding time will start as early as flights arrive in the UK and so that would mean I would think by 11:00am we will start seeing people. As far as debarkation is concerned although we have not set this up yet I imagine we will start this process as early as we can to allow for returning International flights…………so, maybe 6:00am as we did in Rome. I will clarify this later but for now this should give you a guideline. Let me know if you need further help. Cheers.
FREDDY BEACH…………..I am glad that you are singing the praises of the Supper Club which as you wrote have been a huge addition to our ships. We used to have theme nights many years ago in the dining rooms with Italian, French and Caribbean menus. I think we can bring such themed nights back as you said but in the Supper Club. We have the talent onboard to do this. Imagine an exotic Indian night or an eastern Rice table ……….maybe even a timpanyaki thingy…………..wouldn’t that be fantastic. These are all choices we are looking at let’s see what the future holds. I am happy you are still enjoying the blog thingy mate and I hope you do so for a long time to come.
CRUISIN BRIAN……………I checked with the Carnival valor and next Sunday for the Easter/Passover cruise you can expect 800 kids. I don’t have the breakdown just yet but certainly there will be many families sailing with you, which is great. I hope you have a wonderful cruise and pleas send my best to the Captain and crew. Cheers.
GREG B……………….Indeed they were the greatest generation and thank you mate for reminding us about Mr. Gaylord and his band of brothers. I still have not heard from Maria but I remain positive that she came through her surgery and is resting. I hope to hear from her soon as I know you are all worried about her. Thanks for being …..well…..you and I send my best to your family as always. Cheers mate.
MORT13ERS…………..What a fantastic story and if only my friends from last week had your manners and your compassion. I salute you for being so special and I am sure everyone who read your story feels the same. You should be so proud. I hope to shake your hand one day and thank you again for the great story.
DALE EDWARDS……………It will be a pleasure helping you with this and I will make sure a room is reserved on 5/12/08. Please remind me 10 days before if you can and I will let you know which lounge we have reserved. It will also be in the Carnival Capers as well. Cheers Dale.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER……..I am sure that reading the story about Al Gaylord must have had you thinking of your Dad who served as you said in the Air Corps. Only 200 days to go before your next cruise and until then I will try to write is such a way that even if just for a little while you feel like you are onboard. It is always a pleasure to read your postings Carol and Heidi and I send you our very best.
LINDA HERNACKI………….Yep, this is the last time on the Carnival Freedom for a while until we rejoin her in Europe on May 5th. Heidi did not write a blog you are right and that’s because due to my affair with Mr. Bell she has been picking up all the slack and basically running the department. I will make sure she does one soon though once Mr. Bell divorces me. I hope all is well in the Hernacki household and please say a big hello to my mate Mike. Cheers Linda.
JIM ( JLEQ)……..Thanks mate, I hope so to.
CHERYL D………….A beautiful post Cheryl, which I thank you for sharing with everyone. Heidi will be very happy at the nomination of Renee Zellweger to play her as she is a huge fan of Bridget Jones Diary………I actually think she like sit because Mr. Darcy is in it. I enjoyed reading about your ideas for a celebrity Chef and it looks like choosing the right person (if we indeed decide to) will be more difficult that we imagined. Thanks again for all you wrote today and I hope you and the family are well. Cheers.
STACY THIBODEAU…………..I am so sorry Stacy but I will not be the Cruise Director when you sail. However you will be in the capable hands of Todd Wittmer who will make sure you have a great time. I hope we get to sail together very soon. Cheers.
DWA76…………Indeed mate………….maybe we don’t need a celebrity chef as you mentioned, lets see what the future holds. I truly appreciated your kind words about the crew. It was a tough week on many fronts and hopefully this week will be smooth sailing for us all. Certainly with people like you thinking of us it will be a great voyage. Thanks so much mate and as always it is great hearing from you. Cheers.
PRINCESS ELAINE…….You are my kind of Chef……..lets cook for each other………..you want fries with that? Cheers Princess and thanks for asking about Alan who continues to improve every day.
SUSAN………..Any friends of the three amigos Heidi, Beth and Kevin are friends of mine and welcome to the blog thingy. I will indeed be joining you in Europe so we get to say hello in person. I hope you read the blog thingy when time allows and you are most welcome here. See you in May.
CHAZON…………..That’s three votes for Anthony Bourdain and I now will have to go onto Google him to see what he is all about. Thanks for the get well wishes and I you are welcome in the kitchen anytime. See you in 167 days. Cheers.
LINDA – MOM OF MY MATE DJ………Please pass on our gratitude to your son who is already a Colonel at age 44. You must be very proud of him. Your salute to all service men and women both serving and retired was beautiful and I thank you for sharing them. I am also looking forward to sailing with DJ whom I intend to make a big fuss over………..hope you don’t mind. Thanks again for all your great words today and my best to your entire family.
DIVETRASH…………Another vote for Anthony with Kevin in second……….not bad Kevin. Hope dinner was OK, You would have been very proud of Ron last week. He did a great job with all the spring breakers and handled some difficult situations very well indeed. Cheers Laura and please write soon.
ED MILAN…….Your words of praise for Al Gaylord were just perfect and as long as there are people like you here they will never be forgotten. Thank you so much.
JANE…………….Thank you Jane. I am glad you are enjoying the blog and hope that is always the case. Cheers.
JAKE SILVERBERG………Thanks mate. Yep, not long now. Hope you are excited. Cheers.
WIL – DA – BEAST………..You are right. If you do have concerns about motion sickness then the middle of the vessel is the best. However I am sure she will be fine and there are now non drowsy over the counter things to help as well. If she really is worried have a chat with a Pharmacist who will help. Please send Aunty my best and I hope to see both of you very soon.
JUSTJONWHOMISSESTHESMOKEFREEPARADISEANDWILLBEWITHUSONTHECARNIVALFANTASY2009BLOGGERSCRUISEANDWHOSEWIFEWILLHOPEFULLYPOSTAMESSAGESOON……………..Tell you what. Instead of the boat drill thing why don’t we arrange for John and Diane to be called to the Chief Security Office? We can say that a guest has made a complaint that they were rude or something and when they walk in you and the Mrs. can be there………..what do you think mate? Let me know. Cheers.
That’s all for today. I will start again tomorrow with Maria and Lamb Knuckles and a big thank you as always to you all for your kind comments.
So, off we go and I am hoping that this, my last cruise before we head off to the Emerald Princess and Europe is a fun one free of incident ………………as always I will share it all with you.
Having a face like someone with constant stomach cramps and a patch over one eye is proving useful and at least Mr. Bell has had my stay in the doghouse shortened. Heidi has allowed me out and by promising never to call her Great Aunt Maureen again I am for now in the clear.
This week the packing will begin and that is sure to start an international incident. This time we have to divide the packing in half. We need clothes for the Princess cruise and then everything else needs to be shipped to Italy ready for the Carnival Splendor. This will no doubt lead to various heated discussions and various household objects being flung at me.
Last night after I paraded myself as Dolly Parton with a patch I went to meet the Entertainment Staff in our crew bar. Now, I maybe visit the crew bar once a year. I do not particularly care for the loud music etc but the real reason I stay away is that I am sure the people I work with prefer it if the boss isn’t always there watching what they are doing.
The crew bar though is a great place for everyone to hang out. It’s a huge melting pot of people and walking in there is like visiting the United Nations. Some crew just talk, some play dominoes and many will just relax and watch the big screen TV on which they watch movies and videos etc. The bar prices are somewhat cheaper and most crew will use this area to unwind after a hard day.
So, last night I went downstairs to the crew bar to buy everyone a drink after a tough week. The dancers were there, the musicians and technicians as well and I stayed to have a diet coke. I didn’t stay long but apparently after I left it turned into a bit of a party.
Now, I am not saying here on this public domain thingy that my staff drank a lot last night but at the staff meeting I just returned from you could tell there were a few sore heads.
Individual pain such as toothache and constipation is a lonely affair but knowing that others around you also woke up this morning feeling like there is Frenchman living in their head seems to make the pain and suffering OK. It’s the same sort of thing when the ship moves a lot………….people seem to find comfort in meeting others who may have been sea sick and compare how many times, the colour and texture and whether they made it to the bathroom in time. It’s group suffering and that’s what I felt today when I met the staff………….they had all let their hair down………….except Ken Strutt the Saxophone player who doesn’t have any……….and even though they all felt dreadful today………….it was ok…………they felt dreadful together.
As many of you know for no other reason that my job sort of dictated I stop; I do not drink anymore. I haven’t in 12 years or more. I used to drink a lot …………no more than most but certainly enough to put me in a few embarrassing positions …………never though unfortunately were women involved.
I do miss a cold beer once in a while………………but not enough to start drinking again and being diabetic also means that pouring a dozen pints of liquid sugar down my throat isn’t such a good idea.
However, as much as I may miss the odd beer I certainly do not miss the hangovers. Looking at some of my staff this afternoon I realized I would rather be tied naked to a rock-climbing wall than have one of those hangovers.
One more important thing………….Here is a communiqué from PA 007.
Rick Pitino is a very famous basketball coach.
He had his greatest success as the coach of Kentucky. He later did some coaching in the NBA including a stint with the New York Knicks (short for Knickerbockers-((no idea why)). Then he returned to Kentucky, but to coach their arch rivals Louisville where he is presently coach.
So the chap who is getting me fired is a famous basketball coach called Rick Pitinio. ………..I thought the kid had said Partino………..although in my defense it was hard to understand a kid who had three pounds of steel welded into his top lip and whose every other word rhymed with luck.
So, Mr. Pitino…………I apologize that I may have written some unkind words about your God Son and I am sorry also that we could not show the game. I am also sorry that I didn’t have a staple gun with me so I could finish the job and close his mouth completely.
OK, time for the Welcome Aboard Show where once again I will have to explain to a new audience just why their Cruise director looks like a cross between a bull dog and the Elephant man with a patch over his eye.
It’s going to be a great cruise…………….and I look forward to sharing it with all of you.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
Filed under: Tales from the Ship, Uma Thurman | Tagged: Splendor Godmother
Hi John,If you can ask for me,will The Carnival Pride recieve a large Movie screen in the Pool area(like the Liberty&Freedom)when she’s in Dry Dock 12/2/08 – 12/16/08 ??Thanks
-Sandra
I hope Ryan’s work send’s BP [still not British Petroleum] “bye-bye”. So glad to hear your doctor says you’re starting to get better. I also salute our veterans. I work at a hospital solely designed to treat them [Veterans Administration]. And, without them, I wouldn’t have a job. And neither of us would have a country.
Lastly, I’ve told my fellow 11/08 CruiseCritic members you/Stephanie are trying to make our trip memorable. I haven’t told them HOW yet. Two of the women have told me your help makes them “tingley”…which leaves me with mixed emotions. Happy that they are “tingley”…but sad that it isn’t ME who’s making them “tingley”.
Sigh.
Here’s hoping this cruise is better than the last several you’ve mentored.
John, Surely someone who has the know how will sent your blog to Mr. Pitino. He needs to be able to let his “godson” realize what an embarrasment he is to his university and any and all relatives. Obviously, he needs to grow up – or shut up. Sorry but that episode really annoyed me. Hope the acupuncture helps. Jeri and Larry
Hi John.
So this is your last cruise on the Freedom. Make it great. I bet you can’t wait to get the Splendor. I would love to sail on it. Good luck packing. Just listen to Heidi and pack what she tells you. Women know these things. I’m sure you know that though you probably won’t admit it.
How long are you on the Splendor?
Have a great week.
John, your never going to learn. You don’t comment on her clothes unless asked. You will always say the wrong thing. If she asks ” Does this look good on me” the answer is always YES. If she says “you don’t like this do you” that gets a NO answer because what she is really saying is she doesn’t like it and wants you to agree with her. You follow these steps and you will stay out of the dog house at least on that issue.
BIG ED
Yes, because I’m sure Rick whatever the hell has the power to get you fired. I am not one for massages either, especially if the masseuse is a dude. You shouldn’t have given those jackasses free internet for the game, they should have had to pay. If the game meant that much to them they could’ve stayed at school to watch it.
_BigMike
Taser Advocate
John -
I like your conniving way of thinking – perhaps we can arrange for it to occur immediately after the muster stations occur. Would it make more sense to use the Purser’s office, though?
Kathy and I can send Stacy back to the cabin and hightail it for the front desk to be waiting. In the meantime, someone can notify John & Diane that their presence is “demanded” by these upset guests. To quote Gomer Pyle, SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
Great thinking – I love it.
Just Jon
John, I am really hoping that if life goes the way I would like it to this year, that next February we can board the new Splendor for our second cruise and I really really hope you will be the Cruise Director on board at that time. I’m afraid I got spoiled the very first time. Can’t wait to hear all about the new ship- I am really enjoying reading your blogs everyday – it’s my time to relax and laugh.
For the movie
“Heidi and John and the Adventures of a Cruise Director”
my votes go to
Anna Kournikova to play the sexy Heidi
and Earnest Borgnine to play lovable John
Well John – Another great blog as usual! I feel like you are going away forever, since you are going back to Europe after your vacation. Will you come back to the U.S. on future cruises, hopefully on the Splendor when it is done with its Europeon run, hopefully in 2009 we will get to see you again. Have a wonderful week off, and I hope by the time you get back to Europe Mr. Bells will be gone for good! Hope the accupuncture helps! Say Hi to Heidi, I realize how busy she has been, so we will all just have to wait on that blog till Europe! Take care both of you! We’ll miss you, but write your blog if you can, ok? Linda & Mike
John,
I agree with BigMike on the free internet issue. They can’t expect everything to go their way and should’ve stayed home if the game meant THAT much! Thanks so much for showing us the bridge! I’ve always wanted to see it for myself. Hope you get out of the doghouse soon and try to stay on Heidi’s good side. Some women are dangerous when they’re not happy including my girlfriend! Hope you feel better in time for the Princess cruise! Enjoy your week, John & Heidi!
Alex G.
Dear John & Heidi,
Just a note to say “thank you” for another great week on the Freedom, you and Heidi always make it so special. Hope you get better soon, and can’t wait to see you on the Splendor! Have fun and try to relax on the Emerald Princess.
Love,
Suzann
John: Me again! I was just wondering about something. Will you be on the Splendor when it comes back to Ft. Lauderdale for 2 Eastern Caribbean cruises in November? The reason I ask is I am thinking of booking the 8 day cruise leaving Friday Nov. 21st and being on the ship the entire following week which is the week of Thanksgiving, IF I knew you were going to be on it, I would book it. I also want to see Nanette when we get to P.R. which will be on Sunday 11/23/08. I know it is probably too early to know that info. but you had said you would have the 2008 CD schedule soon, so you should know by then right? I wouldn’t book it till we get back from our April 20th cruise on the Liberty, but I do want to cruise on the Splendor soon too. PLEASE ANSWER soon! Linda
Hi John
So you’re off to Europe to hook up with the Splendor. I’m really looking forward to you being the CD on that ship as I will be sailing it on the 25th July. I’m still waiting for some more info on the tours and such so that I can start booking.
John I heard that Carnival will have a new ship “Dream” coming out soon. Where will it be located and what routes is it doing? when is it coming out of Dry Docks will you be CD on that as well?? By the way may I ask a question (maybe I missed some blogs along the way) I recall somewhere that Heidi was leaving and we were all disappointed as December was going to be her last time there. Did we manage to convince her to stay? Please let me know if that’s a yes. Ok so you have some questions to answer for me — so get to it!!!! thanks and c u soon.
Eva
John,
We so enjoyed our week on the Freedom and you and your comments especially helped.
I wanted to let you know that a several of years ago I woke up with Bell’s Palsy – awful, isn’t it? I was tested for a variety of diseases but it turned out Lyme’s disease was the culprit. After a couple weeks on antibiotics I woke up and it was gone – just like that!
Last year my husband woke up with the same thing but they never could attribute it to any particular disease. They treated him with steroids and, sure enough, one day he woke up and it was gone – just like that!
I’m glad to see that it hasn’t stopped you. It’s hard not to crawl under a rock and hide. Keep up the good work and one morning soon you’ll wake up and it will be gone – just like that!
All the best,
Judy
John-
No luck with airfare so far!
But I do have a question. Do you know who will be the CD on the Legend on 4/20? I know Jen Baxter is CD:ing right now while Chris is on vaca. Will Chris be back by then? There have been a few of us wondering over on CC who it will be!
John, John, John,
How long have you been married??? You must always say that she looks BEAUTIFUL!!! Especially at 5:45 am! Hopefully things will go fine this week during your packing, we want you both to arrive on the Splendor in one piece.
Speaking of the Splendor which we will see you in just 108 days for the July 2nd sailing, there is much discussion on some of those other roll call boards as to whether the July 2nd sailing is an Inaugural sailing or just the 1st revenue sailing with the inaugural events being saved for the July 13th sailing. We are hoping that since its the week of the 4th we get to see some fireworks, and some other fun events as well….. We are building a good roll call and are planning some fun activities that we will be sure to invite you to. You may just find some digestives waiting for you!!!
John,
Good luck on this cruise. I am sure that it will be the best yet. Maybe Mr. Bells will forget to get back on the ship in one of the ports.
I would vote for Gordon Ramsey as a guest chef. That would be a hoot. I hope the real cooks on the ship have thick skin though, I am sure he would find someting to bleep bleep yell bleep bleep about bleep.
Have a great cruise, John, and I’m praying Mr. Bell leaves you be very soon.
The magic words…You look beautiful in everything you wear…will keep you out of the dog house.
Kathy
Hi John,
Getting ready to embark on the Fascination tomorrow and then the Freedom on Saturday. Glad to hear that you will not be getting off the ship right away, maybe we will run into each other!
Pam
Hope this week is much better (guest behavior wise, and Mr. Bells wise), and u and Heidi enjoy your last cruise on the Freedom. Wish u were both still going to there when we cruise in June. Any suggestion on where we should celebrate in Barcelona? I would appreciate an advice as this will only be our 2nd cruise, 1st time visiting Europe.
almost 900 children on board!?!?!
Hello John,
So good to hear you got out of the dog house after a short stay. Just wondering, doesn’t the ship have a yardarm on which you could have hung the loud mouth basketball fan?
Thanks so much for answering my last post. My wife was thrilled that you wanted me to wish her a happy birthday from you. As I said in my last, we are sailing out of NYC on the Miracle at the end of May. I have been reading as many reviews as I can find and have come up with a few questions.
First: What is the best time to arrive in order to board (we are driving from eastern Massachusetts)? I was thinking early but have read many comments about how people who arrived early (around 11 AM) had to sit around waiting for the ship to empty. Also once on board they found that their rooms would not be rady until 2 PM and so had to carry their luggage around with them. So is it better to plan to arrive around 2 PM (departure is scheduled for 4 PM)?
Second…will I be able to rent a tux (my sons also) on board or should we rent them prior to the cruise?
Finally…I read many comments where people had requested an early seating only to arrive and find they got the late seating instead. Is there any way to make sure we get the early seating that we requested?
I hope your last cruise is a happy and enjoyable one before you go on to your next assignment. Continued best wishes to you and Hiedi and my wishes that Mr. Bell does not follow you any longer.
Alan D.
John,
Just wishing you a week that is incident and rude free. Hope as your week goes on Mr Bell starts taking a hike too! Thanks for all the good humor and laughs each day.
Blessings
Cindy & Kevin
Have a great last week on the Freedom!!! And I hope Mr. Bell buggers off soon!!!
John – I’ve been reading all the while and haven’t made a post since my first one, but I am so sorry that Mr. Bell has visited you and has decided to stay awhile…..he is just a really bad guest! Speaking as a nurse, keep doing the facial exercises and taking the meds. It WILL get better!
Do you have any idea when Carnival will release their schedules for August and the fall of 2009? Friends and I are looking at a group cruise for August/September 2009 and NO ONE has their schedules out yet (for the Caribbean, I should add.)
Hope you are feeling better soon!
Lisa
BTW – John, you will be annoyed to hear that Kentucky made the NCAA tournament. But, they are playing Marquette University in the first round and the Marquette will undoubtedly send Kentucky back where they belong!
Hi John & Heidi, Grandma here.
I noticed that no one has informed you that Georgia indeed did win against Kentucky. They then went on to beat Arkansas razorbacks.
I hope that you are feeling better. With the exercise and the acupuncture maybe Mr. Bell will jump over board. Hope this is a more enjoyable group.
Please keep us informed about how Alan and everyone else are doing.
I’m starting to heal. Time and checkups are all I need now.
I will write again soon.
Grandma
Hi, John,
Here’s a solution for debarking. Install a bunch of those blow-up slide thingies like they use in aircraft when emergency exits are required. Just send all the guests zipping down and right into the customs area and let them deal with it. What do you think?
Hi to Heidi…cheers to you both,
Myra
John, my neighbors are on board with you this week. How would we go about doing a dedication to them on your morning show? She is pregnant with their first child and this will likely be their last vacation as adults only for a bit. Thanks in advance!
Alan D
It is best to go to Carnival.com and order a tux pre-cruise. Once your in Carnival.com on the blue bar at the top click on “GIFTS”. Then on the left click on “Formal Wear Rentals”. There it will show you the prices and how to order.
BIG ED
to linda hernacki! yes i want to know about that cruise too! thanks for asking! and i would email you if i knew how… just sayin’.
smiles, bee
becordle@gmail.com
ps: hi john!
Yes , I am very excited , and the pictures of the officers and captain on the …. , or should I saw it like the ITALIAN officers “zeeeeeee” “briige”
is I will hopefully one day do , as a child I do alot of captain like things , such as making captain suites , and making my room window a bridge , and taking my boat out , and driving it.
And by the way I know I comment alot about the photos , but that not all I look at.
LOL , just wanted to klaraffy ( :
From , JAKE S. ( :
John,
If this college kids godfather is “the famous Pitinio”, I’m certain he’d have his head for acting they way he did especially for putting himself in the same category as “the famous coach”. I suppose, unless you’re an avid college basketball fan, or live in Kentucky you’d know who Pitinio is. I suppose he was made famous in the NBA. How’s that acupuncture? I’ve been considering it for some are and shoulder pain. Can you send a picture of Heidi’s socks, have no clue about “pop socks”
Hi John,
Hope the BP is finally gone. If not, maybe when you get to finally relax next week on Princess and not be under such stress then you will be well. Hope this week is a better one for you with the passengers. I probably would have thrown a few overboard by now.
We were going through cruise withdrawal so we booked a 3 day cruise on the Sensation from Port Canaveral on March 27. What do the demographics look like for that cruise? Will we still have a lot of kids? Hopefully since it’s after Easter it will be a little calmer. Who is the Maitre d’ on the Sensation? We would like to get a table for two at 8 PM if possible.
Hope Heidi gets your packing done without you getting into trouble.
George and Linda
John,
I was on the Freedom last week, starting the 8th (yes…the week of the obnoxious Kentucky students), and wanted to tell you that it was one of the best cruises I’ve ever been on. I came on the cruise with my mother and father as well as my girlfriend. I’ve been very fortunate throughout my life as my father and mother have both had good jobs and was able to go on 7 cruises. This cruise, however, was by far the most fun I’ve ever had and you were/are the best cruise director I’ve ever had, even with Mr. Bell.
I was one of those college students from Michigan (NOT Kentucky) and I really want to apologize for the way many of the spring breakers acted on this cruise. I could not believe the way many of them were acting and hope you don’t hold a grudge against all of us (some of us are not absolutely obnoxious.) I am very impressed about how you handled a lot of the situations with the infamous University of Kentucky students. You handled the situations with utmost calm and composure and deserve your own ship for that.
The crew was amazing and always courteous. A few of them I’d like to mention are Ron Pass-for the nightly entertainment; Wilawan-the server who would always take care of us in the piano bar; Pyare- the pizza man who seemed never to get any sleep. I’d see him at 3 in the afternoon and 3 in the morning. I also give him much respect for not doing a single thing when two Kentucky students were ringing the bell repeatedly because they had to wait to get pizza because there was a line; and you John – as I’m going into a medical profession I have seen people with Bell’s Palsy before. You have my utmost respect for the way you handled it. Everytime you spoke you made me laugh and if you hadn’t of mentioned anything the first night I wouldn’t of been able to tell you had “Mr. Bell”. You did an amazing job and I want to have you as a cruise director again! Thankyou, and your crew for an excellent cruise (no thanks to you University of Kentucky students) and I hope to read more of your blog and post some more in the future.
Thankyou for memories that will last a lifetime!
~Adam
Hi John
I hate to hear that this is your last week on the Freedom. I hope you have enjoyed your time on this side of the pond, but I know you must return to your roots and bring out yet another fabulous ship.
I do so hope that you enjoy your vacation on the Emerald Princess. If anyone deserves a vacation, it would be Heidi and you.
I just booked two older couples on the Emerald for the 16 day transatlantic in April. I told them about you and that you were cruising on her. If you have any review you could post, I would appreciate it so that I can pass any info along to them. They are very excited and I am very excited for them. Jealous, actually.
Until we meet again, take care and give my best to Heidi.
Gloria aka Sue
Dear John,
I was on the CARNIVAL FREEDOM last week touring around the Eastern Caribbean and I had the time of my life. I have been to several other places for the spring break and that was certainly my favourite vacation of all. In 2006 I was on the CARNIVAL FASCINATION and that was fun as well but I loved the CARNIVAL FREEDOM. I was there with my friend named Amanda and we were hanging out every night. My favourite part was when you hosted the CARNIVAL LEGENDS show in the Victoriana. I thought that it was so so funny when you were impersonating Dolly Parton in a dress and trust me it doesn’t make you look fat! I was right up in the front row of the show and I wanted to jump on stage with you and dance. In case you were wondering I am 10 years old and I am your biggest fan. To me you are like a celebrity. I was looking for you after the Legend show because on the afternoon show you said that you were going to do a meet and greet and allow people to take some pictures and I was a little disapointed but that is ok because you are a very busy man and you were probably just getting out of the Dolly Parton dress.
I have an amazing idea and it came to me when my dad won some $$ in the CASINO/ BABYLON and it is: a kid slot machine for the arcade. You get 5 turns per day and you always win. Instead of getting money, you get tokens to play the games and instead of it coming up as bar cherry 7 it could come up as Mario Kart Air Hockey Stacker.
I hope you like my idea and I wish you safe travels on your last week on the CARNIVAL FREEDOM and on the new ship the CARNIVAL SPLENDOR
cheers,
Ellen T. Reel
John,
The beginning of another cruise… and another Spring Break Cruise… Take Care and have a ball!!
Relaxing at the bar is a joy!! To be able to unwind and relax and let loose!! How wonderful you treat your crew to this. Of course, too much of a good thing can cause problems… but they know that in the morning there can be consequences… They’re adults!!! And wonderful for you to think about your self and suck on a diet coke or some such!!! EXCELLENT!!
Keep up the GREAT work that keeps us laughing and going!!
My best to you and everyone!
Lambie
Atlanta was a living hell while those brats were disrupting everyones cruise within earsshot. My prayers are that when my young man travels without our guiedence he would never be a part of a group such as that. You are the King of resolutions and the Internet cafe was a”Brilliant” idea. We had milions of dollars worth of damage to the heart of Atlanta with an F-2 tornado. At our home we only lost a tree that fell over the driveway just beyond the bridge over our creek. Dan and i are huge basketball fans, though we go for the rivals to the Bulldogs, Georgia Tech. We like those fuzzy bees. Heard from George and Linda who are grabbing a 3 day cruise. Wish we culd catch up with them. well, I am looking for some good news on the ship. How about some tales from that captains chair? It looks like a chair fit for Captain Kirk. Sounds like the facial exercises that the Gainesville boy has helped you some. Glad to hear it. How is Alan? Be safe. Tolerate the Spring breakers and stay out of teh dog house!
Love,
Kathei (Kaperino)
John,
Greetings my friend, Well this is it last cruise on the freedom till it’s back in europe. Well I realy do hope you enjoy your cruise on the Emerald. I look forward to the blogs that will I’m sure be coming in from her. I look forward to hear more about the celebrity chef carnival picks and I might be willing to pack my whites for the BC 2.0 if asked to assist. But if you really can’t get a hold of someone I can do it with Elaine as my Sous Chef and ED as my Garde Chef and maybe Laura as my Chef de partie. It could be a fun event but you would have to have help because i would probably toss them all out on their bum’s after 15 minutes and they started eating things. Let me know I’m more than willing to be involved and will assist you or anyone else who wants it for planing this. Please try to relax so Mr. Bell leaves when you leave the freedom for the emerald. Please send my most warmest regards to Heidi, I look forward to meeting her and of course you soon.
Kevin
Hey John,
First, I hope your final week aboard the Freedom is a great one. I know you had a rough/interesting/bumpy sailing last week, and I hope this week is perfect.
I had mentioned awhile ago that my family of four would be in Miami while you are in Miami. We are sailing on the four-night Imagination cruise this Thursday, and we will be staying in Miami/Ft. Lauderdale Monday after the cruise (day and night). I had once mentioned the possibly of meeting up for a “sugar-free” dessert, and you said to remind you when it gets closer. Do you know if you and Heidi will be busy next Monday night for a brief meet up (either in Ft. Lauderdale or Miami)?
Thanks for the blogs, and I look forward to hearing from you… and possibly meeting up.
As always, my friend, your sense of humor remains brilliant despite everything else. Good for you.
Glad to hear that you made a hasty exit from the dog house and even more pleased by the news of some improvement on the Bells front! Fantastic!
Several of my friends at Cruise Critic just returned from their voyage with you on the Freedom and had nothing but good words to say about you… that you were wonderfully funny and did a great job in spite of Mr. Bells setting up camp on your visage…
What a pleasure it is to see so many new ‘faces’ appearing here! I hope that our near constant discussion about you and your blog on Cruise Critic have had something to do with that! When do we hit the next milestone for readership???
Keep that sense of humour intact and try to make this last cruise on the Freedom the best of the bunch!
As always, my thanks and appreciation to Heidi, Roberto and the MOB… Stephanie!!!
Cheers, mate!
GregB
Hi John,
So sorry that you had to experience the “Kentucky Fried Godson”. He is a disgrace to the human race.
I’m thrilled that your eye is better & that you have finally started your acupuncture. Hopefully, Mr. Bell’s will walk the plank any day now.
Good morning John & Heidi,
I hope your last week on the Freedom goes well and Mr. Bell does a disappearing act.
If I needed any more convincing not to cruise during Spring Break, the stories about your last trip’s passengers did it.
Since someone again asked the question I asked recently about the itinerary for the Dream, I’ll mention it again for the same reason she did. I want to book it if you’re going to be the CD. Hopefully we’ll find out soon where it will be homeported.
Kevin – yeah Michael is terrific. Have you tried his new place – Porter House? We’re going there next weekend after the theater. If you get a chance come on up to Westchester for the Food & Wine Festival at the Doubletree in April.
Take care everyone,
Carol
John and Heidi,
I hope your last week on the Freedom goes well. Needless to say, I was very excited when I saw you mention the fact that most of your clothes had to be shipped to Italy for the Splendor! Wow, that one word has become very important to me. We are under 120 days now- that is under four months. We are truly looking forward to the new vessel.
My husband has raised the issue that summer of 2009, he would like to do the Mediterrean one more time before returning to the Caribbean. Any idea what Carnival ships might be sailing out of Civitevecchi then? We want to return to Istanbul because he did not get a chance to visit the Blue Mosque and he really wants to see the inside of it.
Have a great week!
Ruth
Greetings John…
Rule #1… Never, never mention family as a comparison to your lovely wife….i.e. great aunt Maureen (even tho it might be a spittin image…)
Rule #2….. Always compliment…”Geez Heidi…. those Pop-Socks look much better on you then …… well…….. my great aunt Maureen..” then look in the mirror to see if your nose is growing…(Pinnochio Syndrome…)
Hope this last cruise week is free of Mr. Budheads….Ooops i dropped my empty beer on the deck…&… “Do you know who the F%$#* i am peeps……
Heidi….. stockings & garters look much better at 5.45am……well….. then “Pop Socks”… (just my opinion)…
Enjoy the upcoming rest……
Cheers to you & Mrs. H
Richard Bursey
Montreal, Canada
03/29/08 Freedom
Hi John,
I felt so bad for you having to put up with those spoiled brats from Kentucky. I hope thier actions don’t reflect what all college students from the United States are like. Along with our 2 kids, many have been taught respect for others and have class. I really like being around kids that age, but we are very glad that Spring Break will be over when we sail on April 12th.
I sure wish we could have met you and Heidi, but maybe someday that will happen. Take care!
I do have a question for you – - – What are the best excursions in Cozumel and Ocho Rios? We plan on shopping and Margaritaville in the Grand Caymans, but wonder what are the best to do in the other two ports. Thanks!!!
Hope this week is better than last and Mr. Bell doesn’t stay for a b2b2b!
John
First time leaving a message. Have been spending the 4 weeks since our last cruise catching up on old blog entries and it is making me look even more forward to our next cruise. Thanks for this blog and all the work you put into it.
Hopefully on your Emerald Princess cruise, you take the opportunity to treat yourself and Heidi to the Ultimate Balcony Dinner – it will certainly be on of the highlights of your cruise.
Hoping that this week is a smoother sailing for you.
Steve
I love the idea of more creative food in the optional restaurant. I’ve studied those menus on every cruise we’ve been on (four different lines) but the food is always just steaks and the like — nothing I can’t do myself with ease. So we’ve never eaten in one — the food just wasn’t interesting or original enough (though I’m sure it’s good).
Now if the dishes had some wow factor, we’d book at least one night every cruise. Say some sort of fusion cooking (French-Indian; east-west), or some wild game options.
Most people probably like it the way you have it. Maybe you could do a test? Maybe have a special chef’s table like some posh restaurants do, with wine and food pairings; fixed menu of five courses; the chef talks to you about his creations. Now, that would grab me in a minute.
OK John,
You said you wanted to earn a “5 bottles of Windex” rating from me. Well, the comment about seasickness victims comparing the “colour and texture” did it! I usually read the blog at work and I try to be discreet about it, so I nearly suffocated trying to keep from laughing out loud! I warned you that you ran the risk of putting bloggers in the hospital.
*****
PA007 wondered why the NY Knicks used to be called the Knickerbockers. Here’s why:
Knickerbocker is a Dutch surname and a type of clothing. It is a name often cited in reference to New York City–an allusion to the fictional character “Father Knickerbocker” who, according to the tale told by Washington Irving, was the head of the first socially prominent family in New York. According to Ric Burns’ New York: A Documentary Film, generations of New Yorkers proudly claimed to be descendants of Father Knickerbocker, despite his fictional roots.
So, calling yourself a Knickerbocker is akin to saying New Yorker.
Hi John/Heidi:
Can’t believe your European journey is almost here. Seems like just yesterday you were leaving Europe originally for your vacation here. My how time flies!
I don’t think Coach Pitino would be upset with the comments you made seeing how rude his g-dson treated you.
Great pictures today. It never gets old looking at pics from the bridge.
Hope everything else is going well and you’re starting to see some positive results from the accupuncture.
Take care,
David
Hi John,
Great pictures of the bridge today!! I’m sitting here on the bridge of my ship right now in the Gulf of St. Lawrence…..only the weather is not so nice. Its blowing 50 knots of wind and the ship is surrounded by lots of sea ice! I think a job on a cruise ship would be a nice change of pace!
John,
I just left the Freedom for the second time, I was on it in Europe last May. I was on the same cruise with Willy Bangor. I saw that on one of my Carnival Capers you had down Willy Bangor as the Cruise Director, I loved it! I love the ship, and you and all the associates aboard make it a wonderful time. I cruise alone and everyone makes me feel at home. Hopefully, I will be aboard again in 2009 to see the familiar faces again.
My best to you and Heidi!