Saturday, April 5th, 2008...8:42 pm
A Blog from Denmark
Denmark is supposed to be a Scandinavian Country yet today I saw no Midnight Sun, no reindeer and nobody skiing…………..I saw lots of Toblerone and enough Herring to make you think that the North Sea is as devoid of Herring as Naomi Campbell is devoid of manners.
Good evening everyone……………it’s 9 pm and it’s a long, long day…………..now…………before we start I want you to go to your refrigerator…………find a piece of cheese…………..any cheese will do…………..off you go…………now take the cheese……………put it next to a fire or some kind of heating element……………let it sit there for an hour………then take the cheese and place it in a sock………………leave it there overnight ………….then first thing in the morning put your nose deep into the sock and breathe in ……………… good………………now that’s how my feet smell right now……as does Heidi…………in fact………tonight ………….we smell so bad ………….we should change our names to Monsieur et Madame Fromage Pied ………(that’s Mr. and Mrs. cheese feet in French………..and they should know.) I felt it necessary to let you know this so you can feel in my pain………..it really has been a long but rewarding day.
It started at 7 am with my raspberry alarm sounding the dreaded wake up call. After the usual “you go first in the shower” battle ………….I lost…………..we dressed for the 8:30am start to our FAM (familirazation ………. familyirazition ………famil………. getting to know the ports trip.) First it was time for breakfast and down we went to the lobby of our luxury hotel………………when I say lobby I mean the 4 tables and chairs placed in a corner for breakfast.
Now, breakfast is the most important meal of the day they say but in Denmark that statement is obviously bollocks unless you consider smoked herring ………. unsmoked herring………….and that cereal All Bran that makes you poo a rope. I started to whine and Heidi immediately pointed to a large basket of bread and some butter………so that was my breakfast while Heidi enjoyed her All Bran and Herring ……………………. bugger.
We were met by our guides from the Tour Company we will be using during the Carnival Splendor’s Baltic season and fine people they were too…………….Jacob and Lene arejovial and fun from the beginning and obviously ready to have fun as well as show us their beautiful country. As Heidi and I and the Shore Excursion staff rode in the bus to our first stop I spoke to about the Danish language.
Jacob described it as much more basic than other Scandinavian languages such as Swedish………….for example………….they have words that describe exactly what the thing you’re describing is ……….ok………….let me explain…………..the word for Vacuum Cleaner translates for example as “Dust Sucker”……….pork translates to Swine Meat and as they consider themselves a polite race of people the word for hello is the same as goodbye which is “hej” ………………..so you can say hello and goodbye to someone at the same time……..which is great if you see someone you think you like and then realize you don’t like them.
The Danes also have a language where one word can mean three things………….for example the word Brud means…….Rupture, Bride or Weasel………….therefore you may be getting married to a weasel or feeding a small mouse to your Bride for dinner………………..very strange.
The Danes ………like most Brits are very loyal to the monarchy. Queen Margarethe has been on the throne for 33 years and is known affectionately as “Daisy.” Our Queen Elizabeth has been on the throne for even longer and is known affectionately as “your Royal Highness.” “Daisy” is a professional book illustrator whose drawings were used in a special recent addition of “The Lord of the Rings.” Queen Elizabeth also has a job………she is a professional “waver” and her wave was used recently by Helen Mirren in the movie “The Queen.”
So, as we chatted we neared our first stop the Holme Gaard Glass Blowing Factory. It was fascinating to see that the way these products are made have not changed since 1815.
Now, at this point I should point out that I have a film crew with me making our “home movies” for the Carnival Splendor in-house TV system. I did this for the Grand Med and Greece/Turkey cruises on the Carnival Liberty and Carnival Freedom and they seemed popular. Anyway, this has in the past gotten me into a few situations……….in Naples I was caught on camera trying to make a Pizza…………..which considering I cant boil or fry an egg is like asking Paris Hilton to spell Supercalafradgerlisticexpealidotious.
I was also filmed trying to “spin a carpet” in Istanbul which had the unfortunate ending of the carpet flying over my head and knocking a cup of “Chi ” …..which is Turkish tea over another expensive rug …………….. bugger.
Therefore it was no surprise that for the benefit of television I was asked to blow down a long pipe and try and get the glass to bubble.
Now, that sounds easy………..well first of all let me explain that I was reluctant to do this because the chap who was explaining this to me was a glass blowing legend called Morten Peddesen……….who I am sure is a wonderful man but who the heck wants to put their lips round some bloke’s glass-blowing pipe after some hairy Viking has been blowing on it for 50 years……………………well, I guess that bloke was me………………….so, I took the 4 foot long pipe and he showed me how to blow ………….. by………….. well……………..blowing………….puffing his cheeks out like a big ugly Puffer fish.
I was going to try and explain to him that I just recovered from Bells Palsy but as I couldn’t even say “I really don’t want to blow down this piece of smelly pipe” I didn’t think I would get anywhere.
Unfortunately not only was the camera running and Heidi and the shore excursion staff watching but another tour group of about 15 people were also waiting to see the big bloke in the red jacket who may be a TV star try and blow a glass bubble ……………….. so I did…………………I huffed and I puffed but considering Monsieur Bell had only buggered off two weeks ago my glass bubble sort of ………….. well…………….drooped…………..it was a disaster …….the team were laughing…………the other tour group were laughing…………..even big hairy Morten was laughing………………I looked at the end of my glass blowing rod and discovered why……………I hade made……..a glass willy.
After this moment of embarrassment forever captured on film we went to the beautiful 12th century Gauno Castle housing rare pieces of art from all over Europe including a famous original by Rubens of 16 fat babies worth millions. The castle is set in the most gorgeous grounds which although bare now will be full of vibrant colors when our guests visit this summer.
After this we went for lunch at the same place that guests will visit on some of the tours and again we filmed the food which will be the same as the guests eat. Lunch was a proper smorgasbord of Danish delights including three types of Herring prepared three different ways……………fresh shrimps, salmon and eel as well as eggs which were pickled, scrambled and boiled. There were loads of different styles of breads and cheeses and apart from the Herring which I had started to get very bored with it was a great lunch. Afterwards and much to our surprise we were all given a bar of Toblerone …………….what a shocker.
The afternoon was spent touring all of Copenhagen’s most famous sights………….these included the four royal palaces which are built in a semi circle next to each other. The Queen lives in one, the two Royal Princess in two others and the last one kept for visiting Queens such as Elizabeth, Queen Beatrix and Elton John. The Royal Copenhagen and Wonderful Copenhagen will visit the palaces at noon so you can witness the changing of the guard ceremony from reserved positions.
We also visited possibly Copenhagen’s most famous monument, Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid. Unlike all the other major areas such as the Royal Palaces and Tivoli Gardens this famous statue is within walking distance from where the Carnival Splendor will dock. Today, when we visited the huge mega yacht Polaris which is owned by a Russian Oil chap was docked next to it……….even so the tourists were more interested in taking photos of this little green lady than Roman Loadsofmoneyov’s boat…………as it should be.
So far I have to say that the Wonderful Copenhagen and Royal Copenhagen tours are my favorites, both have so much included and the Wonderful Copenhagen still leaves you lots of free time for the dreaded shopping or more time to spend at Tivoli Gardens and its gardens and fun rollercoaster and rides.
Now, I know many of you have questions about all the ports but as I can’t answer them at the moment can I ask that you hang on until April 21st which is the date I will be able to start replying to all your tour and other questions and comments.
OK, more on Denmark in a moment.
First the news.
There is a lot of talk about recession and anytime that word rears its ugly head it is often the travel and leisure industry that is affected first. However, not so here at Carnival Corporation whose share price is looking as healthy as an Olympic athlete. Our Chairman gave a rare interview to one of the world’s most respected financial publications Barons and the response from the writer was to rejoice and sing the praises of Micky Arison and Carnival Corporation.
Now, I am not sure if you can all read this as I think you may have to log in or do something computerish but try and read it if you can as it shows that for us shareholders (are you one?) and you the guest that future of the ships of Carnival Corporation are looking as good as George Hamilton in an Armani Suite driving a convertible Bentley down Miami’s Ocean Drive with Jessica Simpson by his side…………….have a read of this great article and you will see what I mean.
OK, what else……………I saw one comment from Cruisin Brian marked Urgent………….Brian please send me a full comment via a posting with regard to your complaint about your recent cruise. Although I really don’t like to get involved with personal issues I will be happy to pass the comment along as well as help any way I can myself. We will not publish this but I will respond in person via Stephanie……………oh, by the way………….regarding Stephanie, I must ask you to say congratulations.
Since doing this position all on her own she has posted each blog immediately and all the other correspondence she is also handling without help. So please join me in saying Thank You to a young lady who works every day I send a blog, including weekends. While I am saying Thank You, I must include my mate Vance Gulliksen from Public Relations who spell checks and formats each blog, each and every day. Without these two people, there would be no thingy.
Time for the latest adventures of Bubba’s Alaska Adventure.
Day 5 Alaska Fam – Juneau Day 2
Well here we go again out the door early in the morning from the Hotel Baronoff in Juneau to go out and discover more about this great port of call. Just when I think we couldn’t out do yesterday, today we talked about something I plan on doing several times during the season. DOG SLEDDING!
I am a dog person. Always have been. Been around them all my life. Since I was little and used to stay with my grandparents in the summer time. They had a dog named Wolfgang. Of course I could say Wolfgang, so the dog’s name became “Weo” and I loved that dog. Would follow it around the house everywhere it would go. My folks have had several cocker spaniels during my childhood. Their current dog is named Dudley and I love to play with him. My parents have always spoiled the dogs so the dogs always think they are people. It’s one thing that I would love to have on the ship would be a dog. Of course we don’t allow animals on board unless they are working animals. Either assistance dogs, or animals who are involved with entertainment. You used to see the animal acts a lot more in the past, but not so much anymore. There are a few of our magicians who keep birds and there’s even a snake sailing on one of the “Fun Ships.” His name is Lumpy. But I sure wish I could have a dog on board.
Today we met with the two tour companies who run the dog sledding tours in Juneau. It was too early in the season so the dogs were not there, but we got to see the equipment and inspect the dog camps. A lot of the dogs that they use are actual dogs that are used in the Iditarod. The owners of the dogs leave them with these operators who will work with them over the summer months so that they can continue to train so that they can be ready for the next year’s race.
Big difference between the two is that one tour is on top of a glacier in which the dogs run in the snow. You have to take a helicopter to reach the dog camp. The other is lower down the mountains so the dogs don’t run in the snow, but instead use special sleighs with wheels. I can’t wait for the season to start so I can give this tour a go.
We also had a chance to visit the Alaskan Brewery Co. This is a location that is used in combo with a few of the tours that are in operations. If you are a beer drinker and you haven’t tried the Alaskan products, they are wonderful. They do many special brews. It’s not a very large brewery but they brew up some world class suds.
Here’s some pics from today…
Me rockin the vacation beard which I will lose soon…too itchy. Enjoying a sample of the Alaskan Summer Blend. A nice light a refreshing beer. If you come up at the right time of year one of their most popular brews, especially with the locals is the spruce tip brew. Made to with the tips from the state tree of Alaska, the Sitka Spruce.
They have many different brew on sample for you to enjoy.
One of the coolest things that they have in the brewery is their collection of beer bottles from around the world and from all 50 states. Even I found my hometown local brew from the Ybor Brewing Company. Even Kat was most impressed as they had almost ever beer represent from her home coutry of Belgium.
Ybor Brew is from Tampa.
Outside the brewery.
All of us down at the Dock in Juneau going over how the tour dispatches work.
The view of downtown from one of the docks in Juneau.
Everyone smiles when they come back from the brewery…I wonder why?
Well tomorrow we will be heading back to the airport again as we will be flying to Haines Alaska. Haines is not one of our ports of call, but we do offer a few excursions to this town from the port of Skagway. Right now I gotta get this itchy beard outta here!
Until tomorrow….Chris
Thanks Bubba and I hope you have enjoyed reading all the positive comments from guests who have sailed with you and who are looking forward to doing so. Maybe one of them will bring you a Waffle House menu. Anyone who does is guaranteed a bottle of champagne and a solid gold plastic trophy.
As well as all of Copenhagen’s famous sites, we also visited the oldest film studio in Europe, looked at a bike tour and something quite unusual…………….the Ice Bar. It is called the Ice Bar because, believe it or not, the entire bar is made of ice and to go inside you need to wear the arctic clothing which is provided.
As you will see in a moment from the photos, in mine I look like Papa Smurf. The Ice Bar is sponsored by Absolut……….and it is Absolut ……………. ely ………………..bloody freezing.
The tour includes a free glass of Absolut, served in a glass made of ice. The tour also includes a free trip to the Royal Copenhagen hospital for treatment of hypothermia. This is an actual tour we will offer and it does include a full tour of Copenhagen and then 45 minutes in the Ice Bar which is all you are allowed, because after 46 minutes things start falling off……….. I found one on the floor.
Tomorrow, we start again at 8 am where I will share with you our trip to the Palaces of Zealand and a visit to the Carlsberg beer factory.
Talking of beer, I have to say I have never seen people drink as much as they do here in Denmark. If drinking were an Olympic sport it would be between the Danes, the Scotts and the Finnish for the Gold medal. The Danes love to drink. They don’t need an excuse, they just drink. I was talking to Jacob today who told me that the average Dane will drink 20 - 30 beers from Friday 6 pm till Sunday 6 pm. He also told me that Denmark has the highest divorce rate in the whole of Europe. It is no wonder. The men are drunk most of the time, the women smell of Herring and you call your wife my sexy Brud which your soon to be ex wife thinks you said “my sexy weazel”…….and that’s you part of the 50%.
Anyway, it has been a long day and once again Heidi has been looking after me. She has also taken a few photos which I hope you enjoy.
My apologies for the late posting of the blog. This may continue throughout the next few days, so thank you in advance for your understanding. I am looking forward to Herring from breakfast.
Good night.
Your friends,
John and Heidi
49 Comments
April 5th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Hi John and Heidi
Wow!! Thank you so much for the previews of the excursions on the Baltic cruise. I am booked for next August (2009) on the Liberty, but reading this blog makes me want to go NOW!! Had I not promised my grand daughter Disney, I would be there this year. It all looks so exciting!
Until next time, take care and my best to both of you!
Sue
April 5th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
You and Heidi are looking good and look like you are having a great time; see you guys on July 13th
April 5th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Haha, the Ice Bar! I remember seeing that on the Amazing Race a few years back -is silly-
I hope you have fun on the rest of your trip around the Baltic… I hit a lot of those stops last July.
April 5th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Ha Ha Ha! Thanks again for the laugh of the day. Hope you & Heidi have a wonderful breakfast tomorrow..wouldn’t that be a surprise! Take care & get plenty of rest. Keep the blog thingy coming. You make me want to book a carnival cruise & I am Princess through & through. Love you, Jan
April 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
John, were was the picture of your glass blowing results. You were right you did look like Papa Smurf at the Ice Bar but Heidi looked beautiful as usual. You sure it wasn’t your thingy on the floor of the Ice Bar. You need that little bugger. You didn’t have any creamed herring now that’s good. I can sit down with a jar of it anytime.
Suzanne, John’s sister, tell Luke Happy Birthday and I hope you all enjoy Hong Kong Disney.
BIG ED
My Evil Krewe is now eviler
April 5th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
dude! yes we are stockholders. carnival stock has been very good to us as the price has gone up, the dividends are great, and you can’t beat that on board credit with a stick!
one week till the valor!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
April 5th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
John -
Did you get to keep your glass thingy? After all, it would seem to be the perfect symbol for the most successful thingy in the history of the cruise industry.
Glad to hear you are enjoying Denmark. Looking forward to hearing more about the tours we will not be taking this summer.
Speaking of which, had I know Cannes was going to be out and Monaco/Monte Carlo was in, I might have changed my mind about canceling the initial cruise - NOT. Still, I would love to visit Monaco some day for the Grand Prix.
JustJon
April 5th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Such lovely pictures of the city, looking forward to many more.
We went to an ice bar in Australia last summer and thought it was a really neat place to visit once. Not sure I want to go in another one for a while. Sorry to tell you but we had much better looking attire to wear to keep us warm.
Keep up the good work of keeping us informed of the wonderful cities we will be visiting this summer.
Safe travels,
Barb
April 5th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Hi John & Heidi,
Thank you for the beautiful pictures of Denmark. The two of you look great in the pictures by the way. Don’t worry about posting the blog late…..better late than never.
A great big THANK YOU to Stephanie for all your hard work in getting John’s blog to us……
Cheers,
Cindy
April 5th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Anyone Please Reply!
John, I know you’re not answering questions until later this month and I’ll repost if I don’t have an answer by then but I thought maybe some of your readers could answer my question. I posted it on the Cruise Critic boards and haven’t gotten any replies.
My question is how rough is a southern Atlantic crossing in early December and what kind of weather should we expect? We’re booked on the Pacific Princess from Venice to Manasus and I’m concerned because the ship is so small (30ish tons). I don’t get super seasick but have had moments of queasiness in Alaska and the Mexican Riviera (but no problems in the southern Pacific or Carribean).
Anyway, thanks for any information anyone can offer.
Kathi
April 5th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Sounds like your trip is going well.
Thanks to Stephanie for all her hard work, round the clock it seems!
Thanks to Bubba for the fine Alaska blog.
Bye for now,
Diane from Texas
April 5th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Hi John and Heidi, I know you must be tired after a long day, but still you took the time to write the blog knowing we were all looking forward to reading of your new adventures. So thanks so much for writting the blog even if it is later than normal.
I kept turning my puter all around and upside down trying to get that picture so as to see the “willy” you managed to make, but darn I can’t see it……..grin
Heidi, I can’t get over your hairdo. Now John admit it, it looks adorable. Isn’t it easier to take care of?
Well Don and I are in Washington DC. I wish we could swap tales of our day here with you. The weather was a story book day and couldn’t have been any better if we could have ordered it and mother nature have filled the order. The cherry blossoms are at their peak as well as all of the other spring flowers. We have come to visit my daughter and son-in-law and like most Mother’s I have enjoyed every minute with her. Just wish it could have been longer.
I haven’t read Bubba’s part of the blog, will save that to read on our trip home tomorrow.
Enjoy your adventures familiarizing yourselves with the port, etc
Thanks for keeping us informed of all that you are doing.
Carolyn
PS And also thanks loads to you too, Stephanie. We
appreciate you very much, also. Without you and your dedicated efforts we wouldn’t be able to enjoy John’s blog. You are doing a great job.
April 5th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Thanks for the update from Denmark….Herring for breakfast…..No thanks I would take my chances with the Waffle House… For your (and Bubba’s) viewing pleasure….
http://www.scribd.com/doc/218388/The-Waffle-House-Menu
So glass blowing takes a bit of talent and hot air ….I’ve never tried that but I have played a didgeridoo which also takes a bit of different and unusual facial and lip contortions . Nice attempt a the glass blowing however …. at least you can say you blew your first willie….. glass one that is….
The tours you have described sound cool (some quite literally) ….. The Absolut ice bar sounds intriguing…..reminds me of the James Bond film where the entire hotel was made of ice.
Mark
The Flying Dutchman
April 5th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Hi, John
Thanks for taking us along with you, as you check out Denmark. Same goes to Bubba, in Alaska! It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!
April 5th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
John,
Greetings from New York, While I do consider myself a gourmet at times, I happen to know that the waffle house isn’t that but is nice at 3am after a tank full of liquid refreshment. So to hounor our friend Bubba here is their menu.
Breakfast Melts
All-Star Special™ Breakfast
Cheese ‘N Eggs’
Grilled Bacon Texas Cheesesteak™ Melt Plate
Grilled Texas Bacon DOUBLE Patty Melt Plate
Toddle House™ Ham & Cheese Omelet
Bacon, Egg & Cheese Wrap Plate
Grilled Texas Bacon Egg & Cheese Melt Plate
Grilled Texas Bacon Chicken Melt Plate
World’s Leading Server of Waffles Dinner
Original sweet cream, Pecan, Chocolate Chip, Buttermilk
Chop Steak Dinner
Customer Call Line 1-877-9-WAFFLE
Bubba I’m sure you have that number on speed dial but just in case it’s there for your useage.
And bubba because well I care I found a website just for you in case you need some support it’s
well lets just read their opening statement on their website that happens to be located in Florida, considance I think not. But any way here we go
“This interactive site is for those romantically involved with their cousin. This site is dedicated to providing support and factual information, as well as to foster friendships from around the world. Kissing cousins now have a free site, where they may come to exchange information and advice. Check back regularly for updated information. If anyone would like to contribute something to CousinCouples.com, (information, clip art, links, or comments…) please e-mail me. If you have expertise in a certain field (web programming, legal, medical, etc.), and would like to contribute your time, please contact us. This site is growing at an astronomical pace, and we appreciate any help we can get. The editors of CousinCouples.com welcome you! Please let us know if you experience any problems with our site.”
Followed by a quote by Charles Darwin & Emma Wedgewood: A Cousin Couple
“When the principles of breeding and of inheritance are better understood, we shall not hear ignorant members of our legislature rejecting with scorn a plan for ascertaining by an easy method whether or not consanguineous marriages are injurious to man.”
~ Charles Darwin. (1871)
Ok Bubba I hope that helps you, because we bloggers really care, and us members of Big ED’s Evil Krewe really,are well Evil.
Now onto other things, I am pleased to report that Winter in New York seems to be over after our first entire day above 60 degrees. John you should start marketing your blog to the waffle house at this rate maybe a cute little banner Eat Waffles Here or something. Stephanie Look into this maybe a nice sponsor for the possible TV show that John told us about and of course Cruise Critic took and ran a front page story about a few days ago. best to Heidi enjoy your travels.
Kevin
April 6th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Haha, I also thought “Amazing Race” too when I saw the Ice Bar. Ahh, so much to see in the world…
Looks like the FAM trip is going well so far! Looking forward to hearing more about it.
April 6th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Great pictures. Where are the pictures of your glass blowing results? Heidi, please send them to Stephanie.
Looking forward to meeting you both on the Freedom soon. Only 20 more days until the cruise begins, many, many thanks to you and your thingy for helping me to get through the last year.
April 6th, 2008 at 6:14 am
Glad your having fun!
Well done Stephanie and thanks, I may not post replys every day but I do read the blogs everyday so thankyou!!
Gav and Em
April 6th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Thank you John & Heidi for sharing your excursion adventure! I do love the Papa Smurf get up!
Thank you for posting Chris Roberts adventures in Alaska. I feel like I am on the tour with all of you through this blog!
I am really happy, I received my passport Friday and can actually plan trips out of the country now. But first up is our Valor cruise!
Have a wonderful adventure and look forward to more stories!
Susan & Scott
April 6th, 2008 at 8:40 am
A big thanks to Stephanie and Vance for their blog thingy assistance….you are much appreciated!! Bubba, your descriptions to places and events rival John’s….I am very much enjoying the familiarization tours you both are on. What a great thing for Carnival to do, so you know exactly what the tours see and do. I think I’m going to have to book the Splendor for the spring of 2009! Gloria
April 6th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Dear Papa Smurf,
Your “sexy weasel” takes wonderful pictures…the ones taken OF her are pretty great, too. Who did those? Ah, such a terrible way to have to make a living…forced to see the greatest “sites” in the world, made to take part in all sorts of unique activities. Man, you two, and Bubba, must really hate your jobs! HA!
This was one of the funniest blogs I’ve read so far. Does this stuff just pop into your head or do you agonize over what to write? Whatever…keep on doing it, it’s great!
Thanks so much to Stephanie and Vance for all they do to support you (and us) with the blog behind the scenes action plus all their other duties. And to Bubba for the Alaska news. His info about the “summer” training for the sled dogs was especially interesting to me as we have a nephew who lives in Alaska, has a dog team and just completed his first Iditarod. He said it was amazing!
All your “Queen” lines were hilarious…do you think Her Royal Highness or Sir Elton ever read the blog? Hope not to hear of you locked in the “Tower” for revealing such private information.
Try to keep warm you two, plus all your “crew.”
Best Wishes,
Myra
April 6th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Hi John,
Thanks to you & Heidi for taking us along on your great adventures! Heidi’s photos are great & you have an absolutely wonderful way with words.
April 6th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Hi John and Hedi,
I really enjoy seeing pictures of the two of you together! You should post more with the two of you in them. It looks like you are having fun!
I’m going to miss Bubba’s blog’s when he is done in Alaska. Maybe he should go from Waffle House to Waffle House writing about his adventures! LOL
I don’t know about going to the ice bar. It sounds like fun, but I hate being cold. How can Hedi look so good even in the blue coat? You do look like Papa Smurf in yours.
Love to both of you,
Princess Susan
April 6th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I have to say that I am very proud of my big brother, writing this great blog and also doing all his other duties as a CD must be very time consuming and really hard work - and to make it so funny and informative must be a challenge everyday.
I loved reading it today. The front page news of our newspaper here - The South China Morning Post - was that the Austalians in Hong kong are in turmoil because supermarkets are out of stock of Vegemite … a black yeast extract spread they have on toast. Yep front page news … that’s the most exciting it’s got since 8 months ago the stuntman on the new Batman movie refused to dive in the Hong Kong Harbour for fear of catching something not very nice … which turned out to be TB !!
So, thanks to everyone for welcoming me to the blog. Sorry for not thanking you all sooner but as Big Ed said, we’ve been in HK Disney. Not quite as much of a rip off as EuroDisney where Blanc Neige (Snow White) and her mates like to charge about US$15 for a coke and a cookie.. oh and it’s full of French - for whom I share my brother’s love. Well, the kids had fun but Space Mountain 6 times in a row on a Sunday morning after a Disney Character breakfast of m&m’s, marshmallows and chocolate fountains (thanks Walt) meant we retired a little green to the hotel pool - thankfully.
Now to more important matters. I have so so many stories to tell you all of that young man John Stephen Heald and his sidekick Alan but it maybe a little indiscreet so as I continue … the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
So, there were these two lads, for the sake of argument let’s call them … John and Alan, who were on the holiday of a lifetime to Benidorm, Spain where everyone wears soccer shirts, has beer bellies, tatoos and shaved heads … and that’s just the women.
So after the welcome party where the sangria flowed by the thimble-full the boys were relaxing by the pool. They had introduced themselves as John and Alan - two newly qualified doctors on a last holiday before taking up their places at one of Londons most prestigious and well repected hospitals. Everyone was mightily impressed and what harm could it possibly do to escape the boredom of their mundane day to day office jobs………………..that was until little Peter slipped by the pool and cut his foot open on a broken tile.
Now amongst the screaming and that was just Alan, the parents were getting no joy from the lifeguard who was too busy applying suntan lotion to a scottish lass who was so skinny and her face so bunrt that she looked like a match. So they turned in dispair and relief to the two young doctors close to hand.
Now …. what would you do ? See the child in distress and realise you should come clean about the small ‘porky-pie’ (lie - in cockney rhyming slang) and maybe pay for the taxi to the nearest clinic. Knowing our guys - of course right ??
Then what inspired them to make a ‘remedy’ in their hotel room is a mystery. Armed with a potion of medicated dandruff shampoo, athletes foot-powder, zit-cream, wet-look hair gel and duty free tequilla they sprinted back to the pool.
Never once did the parents question the blue liquid they poured on their sons foot … 4 times daily … with food.
Never once did they squirm when their son cried in pain as the medication was obviously working it’s magic.
And never once did John and Alan buy a single drink for the rest of their vacation as not only did little Peters foot miraculously heal completely but that stubborn varrucca he’d had for 3 years disappeared without a trace !!!
That’s it for today … more tales tomorrow … goodnight Dr John and Nurse Alan.
Suze
April 6th, 2008 at 10:53 am
John and Heidi great pictures, Demark looks great. John what do you eat if you dont herring or fish? How is the weather this time of year? See you in August make sure you find us some good places to tour lol
April 6th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Good morning here from Amherstburg, Ontario Mr. Heald. I haven’t sent a note lately because I’ve been very ill for the week but I’m much better and I wanted to let you know how good a blog this one was. Herring and All Bran, yeek, even though I’m feeling better, just the thought almost had me see my porclain bowl again. Toblerone can be picked up here in Amherstburg and I enjoy it but to much can make you sick. The photos were exceptional especially you trying to blow that tube. I would have loved to see the results from your blow. I must commend Heidi, no matter what picture she’s in she is always a picture of lovliness. What were those blue outfits that you and Heidi were wearing in the pictures? She looked beautiful in them, you were well, fine. Ha,ha. I’m amazed with the amount of beer the Danes drink. It must be very difficult for the children to see the parents drinking all the time. Just to end, I must also give Stephanie a great deal of credit. She is doing a great job. Maybe she should be given a raise. Ciao my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
April 6th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Dear John & Heidi
Been following the Blog, not much to say
But your trip to Denmark has brought back many memories. I was in Copenhagen when I was 14. To see the Little mermaid again in the harbour and The remeberance of Tivoli Gardens. NO one can go to Copenhagen without seeing those two sites believe me. The pictures of you and Heidi are great. Bubba’s blog from a fellow Tampa Bay resident is great he is enticing me to go to Alaska. I think we need to have an alaskan Blogger’s cruise in the future! I cannot wait to see what you next blog brings as you take these tours. It actually makes me feel good thake you are doing this because we really got ripped off in Edinburgh on the Legend & the Mr had a major issue with the shore excursion. We didn’t get to finish the Britannia tour and we got only 30 min to finish Edinburgh before boarding the bus to return to the ship. So it really makes us happy that you are experiencing the tours, but does this include the time of the bus rides as well? just wondering.. anyway that is water under the bridge..
take care and have fun .
Take Care
The Tuckers
Elizabeth & Arnold
April 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Thanks Suzanne for the great post. Will be looking for more. And John thought I was evil.
John we got to get a patent on the medical treatment. We could all be rich and cruise forever with you.
Dr. BIG ED
April 6th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I really appreciate “Bubba’s’ additions to your blog as we’re headed to Alaska next month on one of your sister lines.
Please, please, please ditch that trashy Jessica Simpson. Wouldn’t you rather dream about the enticing, beautiful, brainy and British Keira Knightly? Or someone else with a hint of class?
Trust me on this, George Hamilton wouldn’t look twice at J.S.
Your Fam tour sounds even more exhausting than your regular gig.
April 6th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
John
I can see very clearly that your sence of humor runs in the family….Your sister is a BLAST!…This is one of the best blogs I have read thanks to you and your sister Suze. Can Suze come on the bloger’s cruise with us????? Maybe you could swing for the ticket John after all the pranks you pulled on her. *LOL* C’mon..be nice now…
Ciao, Kathleen
April 6th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Oh John,
You are soooooo evil…we the “evil krewe” could take lessons from you and Alan!!!
Oh Suzanne, I will be looking with anticipation for your next post…wonder if Hedi is learning anything new about John…LOL.
Princess Susan
April 6th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Hello John & Heidi this is my first post to you. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your Blog thingy. We have heard so much about you and will finally get to meet you in August on the Splendor. I am enjoying the reports on all the ports that you are seeing now. Can’t wait until August to see all.
Love all the pictures, and also the reports from Bubba.
Love Heidi’s hair cut.
A big Thank You to Stephanie for all the work she does.
See you in August. Carol M
April 6th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Suze:
Thank you for that insight on these two lads during younger years. I can’t imagine the number of “adventure stories” you must have.
As Ed has stated many times, you are part of our Krewe now and we all wish you and the family could join us in February 2009. But cruise or not, you are now a part of the Krewe family.
A little side note: I knew there was something special about John. His middle name, since it is my son’s middle name; only Josh’s is spelled correctly (STEVEN) ! LOL
April 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Thanks Suzanne!! Keep them coming!! LOL
A big huggo for you and…..ahhhhh and one for you too John.HA!!
Princess Nanni of the muchos huggos or
Nanni official welcoming comittee to SJ, Puerto Rico
PSSSTT John!! Your sister is stealing the spotlight.
She sounds as nice as you. Hola Heidi!!
April 6th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Dear John,
I haven’t had a chance to post in a while because life got a little crazy, but after reading today’s missive, I felt like I needed to.
First, don’t necessarily give up on your career in glass blowing. There is a market out there for… ummmm… “passion glass”. (I realize that by sharing this info, I am utterly subverting my title of Princess Laura, the sweet and innocent, but really I think Bloggers Cruise No. 1 pretty much did that already.)
Second, I thought of you and had to laugh in a very stressful, potentially dangerous moment yesterday. The one thing I hate more than anything is driving in New York City. It just makes me very tense. The only time my boyfriend and I raise our voices at each other is when we are in the car in NYC. So yesterday, we had to drive out to Park Slope, Brooklyn to visit a friend in the hospital. We got in the car, went through the Holland Tunnel and were on our way down the Westside Highway to the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel. I was in the middle lane traveling along minding my own business, when this BMW SUV in the left lane decided that he wanted to occupy the space that my little Saturn (yes a Saturn, my 6′6″ 275 lb. boyfriend felt your pain) was currently in, and without any kind of signal, tried to move right into the side of my car.
I laid on the horn and he swerved back. As I had the “nose advantage” anyway, I tried to speed up so he could swing in behind me, but then he tries it again, right into my side, missing me by millimeters as I laid on my horn and slammed on my brakes. He pulls in my lane in front of me, barely missing my front bumper. I’ve got both hands on the wheel tense enough as it is, so my boyfriend flips him the international symbol that means “You’re the aperture in someone’s bottom and perhaps you should pull your head out of said aperture before you get in the car and drive.”
Well apparently this offended Mr. SuperAggressive BMW SUV driver, because he started signalling back with BOTH hands. Then he pulls his same stunning, bottom aperture-ish move to get into the right hand lane and hits his brakes so he runs level with us. He leans out his window and starts trying to pick a fight. I was worried for half a moment until I actually heard his voice… He was berating us in the most supercilious and yet so comical FRENCH accent I had ever heard. All your blog comments popped into my head and I just started laughing. And I think that pissed him off even more.
Fortunately, I had to exit into the tunnel at this point, so I could not hear the rest. But we giggled for the rest of the way into Brooklyn and I was a lot more relaxed.
My boyfriend who has been to Paris and encountered nothing but really nice French people has the theory, that all the really rude ones eventually get thrown out of the country, which is why you run into them all over the world.
I’m thoroughly enjoying Bubba’s Alaskan posts. That’s the one cruise I might actually get my boyfriend on. So thanks for highlighting it!
Oh, and love your sister’s posts! Having grown up with 3 older brothers and 2 younger sisters it’s bringing back all sorts of fun memories for me. Did y’all ever do the tabasco sauce on the cookies in the cookie jar trick? It’s evil.
Thanks for the Baltic blogs! I’m hoping to get there one day. I can’t wait to hear about St. Petersburg.
Cheerios,
Laura (aka Divetrash, aka Princess Laura, the sweet and… oh forget it, of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe)
PS - thanks for the answer, but I’m not sure the info was right. But I sure appreciate the effort.
PPS - Did you see the Ebay listing for the WWII French army rifle? The description said, “Never fired. Dropped once.” LOL!
April 6th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
John:
I think the visit to the Ice Bar should come right before the visit to the glass blowing factory. That way, if a visitor spends 46 minutes in the bar and something…..important….falls off, they can simply take their cue from you and blow another one out of glass. Problem solved!
Thanks to Stephanie! And John, your sister deserves her own blog!
Terri
April 6th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
John,
You and your glass wangs. Have fun with your filming. Let me know when and on what channel that special you were filming is going to be aired on.
_BigMike
Chief of Blog Security
April 6th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
John Stephen!
You are in sooooo much trouble! Suzanne is going to open so many cans of worms…containing wigglies I’ll bet your parents never knew about! Family get-togethers are going to reach new heights. This should be a lesson to all “big brothers”…be careful what you do now, because someday little sis (or brother) just might have a great opportunity to get even!!!
The audacity of “treating” that boy’s cut foot with some weird concoction! It’s absolutely hysterical. Congratulations on being rewarded with all those freebies. Bet the young ladies were appropriately impressed as well.
Thanks to Suze for all this fun info. Hope it just gets better and better.
Lovin’ it,
Myra
April 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
John,
thank you so much for the blog thingy and the guest blogs too, now I have to manage to get Alaska and Europe on to the lists of things my dear hubby just must manage to let me see. I think I would like to spend a few 45 minutes in the Ice Bar
My countdown for my trip on the liberty slipped under 200 days this week and I am giddy with glee!
Can’t wait to read more of the wonders that await when the Splendour joins the fleet
April 6th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I can tell SUZE is your sister, just by her style of writing and her humor!
April 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Hi Suze and John ,
I was very inclined to feel sorry for John after the April Fool joke that someone very EVIL pulled on him. I know that this EVIL person also has a Bird of Paradise that he has been known to send to fly over people’s heads and leave its droppings on them when EVIL one is envious of them….. such as me when I was sitting in the sun on the deck and Evil one was having snow where he lives. I figure the bird droppings on John’s car was delivered by one said Bird Of Paradise that belongs to one said EVIL person…….grin.
But then I started feeling sorry for you and all of the pranks he has played on you when you were little. But I imagine you played a few yourself????
So I guess I’ll feel sorry for your Mum and Dad, they had to put up with both of you pulling pranks…giggle
Please tell us more, we are enjoying every last word of the things you are telling on John.
Carolyn….
PS Hope I didn’t make that target bigger on your back, King Ed of the Evil Krewe……. snicker
April 6th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Hello , John
I have just returned from the carnival victory and I have alot to say…………..
IT WAS EXELENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me and malcolm meet and he is a very cool and TALL man.
He was very funny and we wher talking about you and the cruise directors , thre was also 2 very sad incodents , The first day Malcolm matuarly annomced that there was a criticly ill guest and needed immediate medical attention and has aranged whith the U.S. coast guard to airlift the patient , and the after leaving st.maarten the assistant cruise diretor annonced that there was a criticly ill teammember so we returned to st.thomas which we wher docked in the day before.
and the I neet william who was the social host aboard the liberty ,and is now sailing aboard the victory.
the waves wher high and the wind was fierce but the sun was shinning and thats what maters.
My one complain is the smoking!
It smells disguasting and makes me so light headed on every fuunship.
when I went to the past guest party it showed you!!!!!!!!!
saying………………………………………..
“we are going to show every fun ship and we will be watching you if you dont clap at all we know you snuak in hear”
so I yelled THATS MY PAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the drunk loudmouth lady in the audience looked at me and said thay my compotition!!!!
from , JAKE S. ( :
April 6th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
John,
Whether you’re on board or ashore, I love reading your blogs. I’m really enjoying Bubba’s contribuations, too. It’s enough to make me want to book an Alaska cruise, and I’m not a fan of cold weather. I get enough of that where I am.
Don’t you think it’s sweet of your sister to share those cute little stories about you? I certainly hope she keeps posting.
Pat
One of Big Ed’s Evil Crew
April 6th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Hi John & Heidi (aka Big Smurf and Little Smurf) I love the pictures, keep them coming. Love reading all that you two are doing. You two lead a charmed life, working for a cruiseline sure brings you challenges and excitement that most of us just dream of! Also, LOVE that your sister Suzanne is posting comments about your antics as a child John! You were a very rambunctious child John! Your mom and dad sure had their hands full with you! Well, just two weeks from today we will be on our cruise on the Liberty! I started going thru our clothes yesterday, seeing which fancy evening dresses I wanted to take, getting Mike’s suit out, ironing shirts, etc. for the trip. We leave on a Sunday so I don’t have to pack officially till the day before, AFTER I get back from my hairdressers, but at least everything is washed, ironed and ready to go! Can’t wait! Your friends, Linda & Mike
April 6th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
John and Heidi…
Thank you for Copenhagen!!! I miss visiting!!!
Didn’t you just love the ice bar??? Those cozy coats… that really don’t keep you warm… but a first they feel nice!!!
The famous mermaid… I loved going to sit and talk to her… She would listen patiently and never ever talk back… Wonderful therapy!!
I LOVE to walk in Copenhagen… EVERYWHERE… Such a wonderful place to shop and eat… Maybe it’s my heritage… The Tivoli Gardens… hummmm
Thank you!!!
And Thank you to all that Stephanie does behind the scenes!! OUTSTANDING!!!! WONDERFUL… You keep John going and in our hearts!!! God Bless you!!!!
Lambie
April 7th, 2008 at 9:16 am
John,
Thanks for the preview!! Denmark has always been on my “must see” list. If I can get my hubby to go on a Splendor cruise then we will definitly be doing the excursion with the icebar! How neat!
Hope you don’t overdose on Herring…
Mel
April 7th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Hi John/Heidi:
Amazing pictures. I love the ones with you at the Ice Bar and you at the glass-blowing place.
Thanks for posting them.
Glad the excursion tour is working out for you.
Looking forward to hearing more.
Great interview in Barron’s this weekend. I was going to send it to you but i guess someone already gave you the heads up. Stock has been up about 1% or so today with the positive publicity.
Thanks,
David
April 8th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
[...] http://johnhealdsblog.com/2008/04/05/a-blog-from-denmark/ [...]
August 31st, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I would like to talk to someone living in Odense (?) Denmark where my grandfather came from.
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