OK, let’s talk about the red light district and the coffee shops which are, let’s face it, probably and unfortunately on everyone’s top ten list of what they want to think of when talking about Amsterdam.
First the Coffee Houses…….which actually do sell coffee but that’s not what people go there for. There is some misunderstanding that drugs are legal in Amsterdam but that is absolutely incorrect. Marijuana is available legally to purchase and smoke in the Coffee Houses however it is illegal to purchase it and walk onto the street with it. If the police catch you it’s a huge fine or worse if you have an amount that could in the laws eyes make you a dealer.
Think of it as a McDonalds. If you are buying a McSpliff you must consume it on the premises…..there is no “to go.”
All the Coffee Houses must display a sign outside with their name and the words “coffee house” and then a picture of a Marijuana leaf.
I have to tell you about coffee and this will lead me into a funny story.
The Netherlands are great coffee drinkers………they love their coffee; however, with the exception of Amsterdam Schiphol airport you will never see a Starbucks. Unlike the rest of Europe, the Dutch refuse to pay €700 for a cup of coffee. Therefore, they prefer local cafes where the coffee is fantastic and they pay €2
However, when the average tourist is looking for a cup of coffee and they can’t find a Starbucks, the Coffee Shop can be misleading. This was the case when my parent’s friends, Mr. and Mrs. Smith came to Amsterdam for our wedding.
Walking around the town, they fancied a cup of coffee and without knowing went to one of the famous Coffee Shops.
They did get a cup of good coffee but came away with the munchies and saying they had seen Elvis on a canal boat.
I have done many naughty things in my time but I can proudly say that I have never tried any kind of non-prescription drug.
However, a few years ago for my stag night some of the lads wanted to go to one of the coffee shops. The smell of marijuana, to me, is disgusting. So, as one or two of my friends puffed on a palm tree I lit up an expensive Cuban cigar.
I was immediately told by some scruffy zit ridden youth to leave as my cigar was spoiling the ambiance of his shop.
So, if you are in Amsterdam and you fancy a coffee and walking in, you hear Bob Marley playing and the room looks at you as though you are naked and yet they are still smiling……leave.
As for the Red Light district there is little to tell. We do offer a walking tour of this area as we are told by our sister companies that it’s a must.
I know very little about it except the oldest profession in the world is legal in this one area. The ladies and men and the ones who haven’t made their minds up which they are all pay tax to the Dutch Government. The area is well policed and therefore is very safe…………..that’s all I know and anyone who says otherwise is a liar!
Do you remember my thingy about the Queen Victoria’s’ naming ceremony and how fantastic it was, well I wanted to share a report about the naming ceremony of P and O’s spectacular new vessel Ventura.
“Ventura’s licence to thrill”
The programme handed out to guests last night in Southampton on board P&O Cruises new flagship said: ‘You might not be shaken, but Ventura’s naming celebration will definitely leave you stirred’.
With pre-dinner vodka martinis in full flow it came as no surprise to the top secret special guests (who included Carnival executives Micky Arison, Howard Frank, Pier Luigi Foschi, Peter Ratcliffe, David Dingle and Peter Shanks, to name a few) that the Bond theme was in strong evidence and why not such a British icon for the largest ship ever built and designed for Britain?
What guests were not expecting was a highly amusing spoof ‘Bond’ movie shown on a huge poolside screen with interspersed live action on the stage below.
The screen drama unfolded showing how earlier in the day some ‘baddies’ had got on board and stolen the device which would have sent the champagne bottle smashing against the side of the ship.
The film showed the villains on a power boat escaping down the Solent. A ‘Bond’ was sought for the dangerous mission to get the instrument back in time for godmother Dame Helen Mirren to proceed with the naming.
In the end a crack team of Royal Marine commandos came to the rescue, chasing the villain’s boat down the river and securing the device before bringing it back onto the ship to hand over ‘live’ to the radiant godmother as she appeared on stage at poolside.
With the device safely back in the hands of the ‘goodies’ and having named the ship in traditional style, Mirren proceeded to instruct a pair of commandos to abseil over the side of Ventura and smash the champagne bottles with their bare hands.
The round of applause and cheers that followed were only drowned by the noise of a massive fireworks display quayside that signalled the end of a very entertaining and novel naming.
I would like to thank Seatrade Insider for allowing me to share that with you all.
What an amazing experience that must have been for the invited guests to see and congratulations to those at P&O for coming up with this great idea. How the heck are we going to match that for the Carnival Splendor’s’ ceremony…….probably we can’t ………..unless I wear my Dolly Parton dress.
We are off on a canal boat cruise
More from me later
Cheers
John and Heidi
Filed under: Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Amsterdam, P&O, Royal Marine, Ventura
What a cool naming ceremony for the Ventura! For the Splendor, how about Heald, John Heald?
Very interesting info on Amsterdam’s coffee houses & the red-light district. Hmmm, now I can better understand why my nephew went to Amsterdam on his vacation after college – JUST KIDDING DAVID !!!!
Are there any tours to the Diamond Dealers? Free samples? Now that would be up my alley.
Regards,
C.
PLEASE RESPOND! THANKS!
Keep up the great blogs John!! I have a random question for you that I hope you can answer for me because I can’t seem to get an answer from my PVP or the cruise talk boards. Why can’t you have 5 in a room on the Glory? Why is that you can only have 5 in a room on the Triump, Destiny, and Victory? I could understand if my children were teenagers but they are 5 and 3 year old twins. This is just VERY frustrating to me. It’s like if you have a family more than 4, you have to pay an arm and a leg for a vacation!
John and Heidi,
I just wanted to say that we are enjoying your Blogs from your trip…I can totally relate to the FOKKER jokes being of similar stature !!
Keep the news coming…We all want reports once you go aboard the Splendor for the first time.
Mark
Suzanne, We haven’t heard from you in awhile. This might be the perfect time to get your husband to tell us about that stag party and the red light district.
I think when John said “that’s all I know and anyone who says otherwise is a liar!” was pointed right at you. We know you will give us the true side of this story.
BIG ED
John…John Bond…
Thanks for this blog. I needed that laugh!
Sounds like you are having fun for a change! Stay out of that red light district!!
Princess Susan
That naming ceremony sounds like a lot of fun.
All we get to do is spray a can of 7-up on the corner of a caravan. No car chases… but the ride-on mowers will do almost 6 mph………
The name’s Manager. CaravanParkManager. Licensed to Kill. But only nettles and other weeds.
Cassandra, that does seem odd considering that the Glory is a bigger ship then Triumph. What happens if someone has triplets that are 1-2 years old? I am sure they would not make the father sleep in a separate room!
Hi John/Heidi:
Never thought i’d se the day that you’d talk about coffee shops in your blog. They are quite a place.
Great story about the P&O Ship naming. Sure sounds like it was a fun time for all who attended.
Thanks for another great set of blogs and looking forward to reading more.
Take care,
David
Carol,
I believe you are thinking of Antwerp and the diamond dealers. That’s the big European locale for diamonds. Ah, the elusive free samples, wouldn’t that be nice, I mean they give you free samples at breweries and wineries… Alas, I work in the diamond industry and I’ve never gotten one! Okay, well, I did open up a computer one time and found a small melle stone less than a 1/4 carat. My best find, however, was when I went to fix an old dot matrix printer that wouldn’t print. Seems a card with a pair of 1/2 carat studs (1 cttw) had fallen into the printer and blocked the printhead path and no one noticed. When I pulled it out, I said “Finders Keepers right?” They were NOT amused. Another time I was crawling around under a desk hooking up a new computer and each time I came out, I had little melle stones stuck to my palms and knees. I think I collected about 3/4 ct worth of melle that day and didn’t get to keep that either!
John,
I’ve enjoyed all the rapid fire raspberry blogs. It feels almost like a conversation with you.
I’m guessing that Carnival will never offer a “window shopping” excursion in Amsterdam. Although, I think those could be pretty popular! As long as you can sign up under an assumed name!
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
My best to Heidi and MOB Stephanie.
Cheerios,
Laura (aka divetrash, akaPrincess Laura, the sweet and no longer able to proclaim herself innocent of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe)
Divetrash,
Laura, how come all I find when I clean my computer is dirt?
Thanks, I know about Antwerp, but Amsterdam is also a center – one of the engineers here went to a machine factory in Holland and made sure he stopped and bought a present for his wife before he was allowed home. That and Dutch chocolates – YUM.
Take care,
Carol
When there is a family of 5 of more, generally, you get connecting staterooms, and put (on paper) Mom in one and Dad in the other (to appease the under 21 rule) and then the children (technically) have their own (bed-room). The staterooms from what I understand were not set-up for more than 5. Its a shame – but geez, I have a family of 7, guess they have to stop somewhere. Am LOVING this blog!! I only just found it last week and Ive been in the industry for (shhh) 20+ years. yikes.
Wonderful! Deliciously funny, John!
You’ve made my afternoon!
I wish someone had a video of that naming ceremony. What stunning idea. Having said that, I agree… you in your Dolly Parton costume would give them a run for their money…
Thanks a bunch!
GregB
In response to Cassandra’s question, my understanding as a reservations agent is that maritime law prohibits ships built after the year 2000 from having roll away beds. All Carnival cabins that hold five people have one roll-away.
Mr Heald, keep up the great work, you keep my spirits up during my work day, your blog being reminiscent of Dougals Adams’ “Last Chance to See” – amusing and informative at once.
Be well, all.
You mentioned the Carnival Splendor’s naming party…when and where will that take place?
Hi John & Heidi,
Wow, you are in my city now!!
Enjoy Amsterdam!
bye bye,
Mirelle & Christa
The munchies… hummmm… what was that???? OK…
Lambie
cflsmd
Welcome to our family. You can click on my name above and see just about all of the pictures John has ever posted, the First Bloggers Cruise, John’s birthday party and an album with pictures of a lot of the regular bloggers in here.
BIG ED
Thanks for the Ventura decription – the P & O Website was so busy yesterday we couldnt log on to watch it.
Only six months until we sail on her ourselves anyway! We’re taking her out to the Caribbean! Can’t wait.
Thanks for the blogs today again very interesting.
Gavin and Emma
“I can proudly say that I have never tried any kind of non-prescription drug.”
OH, REALLY?
So, during that episode you told us about the time you met Heidi and you were so drunk you bought her an entire wheelbarrow full of roses INCLUDING THE BARROW, you were drinking booze under the direction of a doctor, hmmm?
And what disease did your doc intend to treat by prescribing cigars, John?
Alcohol & nicotine are also drugs, John.
Sorry to be so pedantic, but it bugs me when people go on about how horrible pot is, yet totally ignore their own drug consumption.
Thank you so for the welcome Big Ed!! And believe me, (I feel like a stalker) I have clicked on everything clickable and have so enjoyed. Everyone is so wonderful, this IS how the world should go on.. Heald for President? I promise to make my way to a bloggers cruise one day, if its my last … (nevermind, thats morbid).. and umm. as far as a post I just read, I want to say, Mr. Healds, does not drink, nor smoke at all to this day, I believe he spoke of episodes years ago when we were all young and umm , oh, dang, (shhh). I am actually only 26, myself, so what do I know?
(ok, dont NOONE TELL). I MEAN IT. I AM 26. I AM!
A great city isn’t it John. When I was there, a long long long time ago, all you could buy in the Coffee Shops was coffee. Yikes how times have changed. The Red Light district probably hasn’t changed a bit though.
This is for Mark Twain and a Half, Don’t know how long you have been reading John’s blog, but he does not drink any longer! Yes, he does have an occasional cigar-but notice I said occasional, he is NOT addicted. Get your facts straight before you start slamming my #1 FAVORITE CD! Thank You!
To LINDA HERNACKI:
My facts are absolutely straight. In fact, it is you who has made the error.
I NEVER said John was addicted to anything. Please re-read my post.
I have read every one of John’s blogs and I am perfectly aware that he does not drink anymore, but he said he NEVER tried non-prescription drugs. I simply pointed out that this was not technically true.
I find it interesting that you read the word “drugs” and somehow invented in your mind the word “addicted”. In my opinion, this is precisely the kind of situation that is fed by statements such as the one that John made, and THAT is why I objected to his statement.