British Airways ……..our national carrier……an airline that should fill the country with pride and with honour. British Airways an Icon of pure Britishness up there with Rolls Royce, Bentley, Cups of Tea, Cucumber Sandwiches, Big Ben, Cricket, Simon Cowell and Monty Python………….only someone forgot to tell the airline that has the Union Jack on its tail……..certainly on this flight….which we have just been told is delayed for two hours…..no explanation was given……just that. So, as is now normal for me here I sit once again, in the departures lounge at Amsterdam airport with nothing to do except count the number of hairs growing out of the man’s ear next to me.
I expect delays especially since Murphy decide to attach himself to me permanently. The thing that drives me mad is the lack of information and apology. All we have is a digital sign saying “delayed until 1:35pm.” This frustration is my motivation to always provide as much information as many times as possible to keep everyone informed. Maybe if BA did the same it would stop people like the chap across from me who upon reading about the delay took his frustration out on his carry on bag by using it as a kick bag……don’t
blame him because right now BA stands for “bugger all.”
It was as always hard to say goodbye to Heidi this morning. We probably spend more time together more than most couples as we work together every day and this is probably the reason saying goodbye is always so hard. Anyway, we will be together again in 12 days and it’s important for us to spend time with our families as well.
I wanted to say thank you for all your kind comments regarding my blog thingy about the incident on the Carnival Conquest. I won’t carry on about this anymore as my point has been made but I wanted to say a thank you to all of you for your open and frank comments. In closing then I wanted to add mention that in discussion with PA 007 yesterday the super spy pointed out that if Mr. Selfish had done what he did and said what he said to an airline crew he would not just have been thrown off the plane but would now be sharing a cell with a man called Butch Billy.
Well, I am going to put the Raspberry down and rest my eyes for a bit…………oh……by the way…………14………….that’s the number of hairs in Mr. Baboon’s ear…….back soon.
Here I am back on the raspberry again having just boarded a very full “Bugger All” flight to London. Now I must give praise to the cabin staff though who dealt firmly with a man who ignored the announcement to turn off your mobile phones and was rabbiting away to someone on his phone. Chloe, the cabin attendant dealt with him firmly and professionally by hovering over him like an eagle over its prey until he hung up and put the phone away.
So, here I sit with my Raspberry in flight mode whatever that means and sitting next to me is a man who obviously is not very comfortable with flying as he crossed himself three times before we took over and gripped the arms of the seat so tightly I could see the whites of his knuckles………..I thought about asking him if he was OK but he is now asleep or just sitting with his eyes tightly shut.
Anyway, apart from this the flight is going well and we land in 25 minutes. Of course, my biggest fear is that we are landing at Heathrow’s new Terminal 5 the biggest second hand clothing shop in the world. The terminal still is not working properly and therefore they have 20,000 plus displaced bags and knowing my mate Murphy it’s about to become 21,001.
I wonder how such mistakes happen and how a new Terminal such as this that was dedicated by the Queen could become such a piece of poo. Well, one of the people we must blame is Donald Trump. Well, not him personally but his program “The Apprentice.” It seems to me that all you need these days is an Armani suit and teeth that have been dipped in a bucket of white paint and then sit in front of Don and speak marketing speak for 30 minutes. Honestly, I listen to these people and they may as well be speaking Klingon.
I was in a meeting at CCL HQ a few weeks ago when we were met about the USA TV program thingy and the 2009 bloggers cruise and the only words I understood were coffee and doughnuts …….that’s the case in the Apprentice which has spawned the idea that if you are a beautiful or handsome person and can talk marketing talk for 30 minutes you will get the contract.
Why are there never ugly people like me on the Apprentice…….why when I looked at the team responsible for Heathrow’s T5 did it look like a center spread from Vogue magazine. Come on Heathrow…….come on Mr. Trump……….hire some ugly people ……….. and watch your business prosper.
OK, don’t want to upset Chloe so time to turn off the raspberry. I will write when I am home with or without my suitcase
Cheers
John
Good morning, John.
I have to agree with you about ‘perfect people’ populating the business world… most of them don’t have the skills of a gnat but they look good in front of other perfect people so it’s up to the ugly ones, like us, to get the job done.
I, and I’m sure the rest of the Blogger’s Nation, are very excited about the upcoming show on the USA network. What are the chances of getting one of the amazing Blog staff to chase you about and get a few video blog clips for us??
Just as an aside, your comments on the situation that occurred on the Conquest drew unanimous support on Cruise Critic. Every single comment backed up you and the good Captain Marino. Thank you, again, for speaking out.
Here’s hoping that your bags made it to London with you. If not, look at the bright side… fresh underwear!!!
Take care, please pass along my howdies to Heidi and my thanks to the most amazing MOB, Stephanie!!!
Cheers, mate!
GregB
Awwww, I can tell you are newly married to wonderful Heidi!! Soo sweet you are.
I have been married for almost 30 yrs. and when my husband goes hunting, I do a lot of jumping in the air, turn on the Guitar Hero full volume, only enough so my ears don’t bleed and play, play, play. That’s just after I run through the house with sissors. Eat what I want, when I want and go out to lunch a lot. And I have control of the remote.
BUT,. I am always glad to see him when he gets back and I really do miss him…..really.
We are leaving sunny Fla., to go back to Michigan on Wed. Hope we have a better airport experience.
Ciao, Kathleen
I hope that your luggage arrived with you and that you have a relaxing couple of days before your next adventure. My wife and I are flying into Heathrow on April 22 – we both hope that the Terminal 5 baggage problems don’t spill over to the other terminals.
John, you are scaring me about loosing my bag when I arrive at Heathrow in August. I’ve never been to England, and I am VERY excited to experience that wonderful Country, but I don’t like being without my luggage!
I haven’t written much about your tours in the Splendor itinerary but have been in awe at all of the places you described. I’m sure in August the weather will be much better, at least I hope so, but it won’t damage the experience of visiting such wonderful places.
It really is amazing how well you and Heidi get along since you are together so much – it says something about your love for each other.
Also, just to weigh in on the Conquest subject. I was on that ship in 2005 during the big hurricane season. We spent 5 days at sea and went to 2 ports (Cozemel had been destroyed). It rained almost the entire 7 days. The wrath of Mother Nature did not stop us from having fun. Carnival was no more responsible for the weather than it is for people who fall seriously ill. Adjustments in the schedule have to be made and people on vacation should take this as an opportunity to have fun on the wonderful ships! It is not worth giving the jerk anymore attention….
Have a wonderful time with your family and good luck with the rest of your journeys.
Ann
Hi John!! Glad you have us (raspberry) to keep you company
I imagine how difficult was your goodbye and not being able to be with Heidi on her birthday. I love the picture on the blog.You both look great and the ship on the back.
A big huggo
Nanni
NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH
London
A woman has been seen at Terminal 5 trying to bribe a baggage handler to lose somebodys luggage. All she kept saying was she was his Mum and that it contained a Bio-Hazzard.
NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH
London
Heathrow’s new Terminal 5 has been shut down due to the release of a Bio-Hazzard. The alledged bio-hazzard was released upon the opening of a suitcase alledgably belonging to John Heald.
When they built the new airport in Denver there was a massive problem with the baggage system that actually caused them to delay the opening for many many months……………….wonder if that same company was allowed to design the T5 system??? Or maybe the baggage system was designed and installed by the lowest bidder.
Kersplott
who’s going to pack your suitcase coming to LA next week?
John,
Keeping fingers crossed that you do indeed find your bag waiting for you in the terminal…and maybe, just maybe Murphy could bother someone else for a change.
Also, you forgot to mention about the show Apprentice that they women must wear clothing two sizes to small for them, and six inch heels.
I’m sorry you are going to be away from Hedi for so long; but you have all of us to keep you company!
Princess Susan
I’ve been watching the UK version of “The Apprentice” with Alan Sugar.
I wouldn’t hire any of that bunch of losers even to cut the grass at the caravan park, never mind anything more complicated. The girls can’t do anything without arguing and the guys couldn’t organise a small drinks party in a distillery… (you know I really mean a p*ss-up in a br**ery)… (delete section in brackets for optional censoring)
I always thought BA stood for “Bl**dy Awful…..
Know you are glad to be home for a bit !
Take care.
Dear dear John, I hope as I type this you have all your luggage and have safely arrived home. Or perhaps to your Mum’s with all your laundry. You know you really do need to learn how to do that task yourself.
Nope, ugly people just do not seem to rise to the top. I know that they say “it’s what is in the inside that counts, not the outside” but rarely does an ugly dude make it to the top of the barrel.
BTB my response on the “Pause for Cause” page got lost somewhere in cyber-space so I just wanted to thank you for voicing your opinion and I agree with you and most everyone else on the subject.
Get some much earned rest.
“BIG ED” —- ROFLOL
Well John, Hope you make it home safe and with your luggage intact! I know how much you will miss Heidi, but you know what they say, Absence makes the heart grow fonder! Well, we are all packed and can’t wait to get to our balcony room on the Liberty tomorrow-we leave on our bus at 8:30am. I will catch up on all your blogs next weekend, we get home next Saturday as this is a 6 day cruise. Glad to hear you will start responding to our blogs soon. Have a great week, and can’t wait to see the show on USA channel. Don’t forget to let us know when it will be on. By the way, I LOVE the new picture of you and Heidi on the top of the blog. Your friends, Linda & Mike (the handyman)!
HAPPY PASSOVER
Here’s wishing Happiness, Peace, Prosperity and all the Joys of Passover to all our Jewish Friends and Bloggers.
Pat and Big Ed Konefe
Good luck with the luggage John,
Ed, are you getting that awful odor in Michigan, too ? What is it ? It couldn’t be?????? not all the way from the UK?
12 days until May 1
Carolyn……… hunting the lysol spray….
JOHN ON THE USA CHANNEL, I CAN’T WAIT TO CATCH THE FILM!!
WE JUST LOVE THE PICTURE OF YOU AND HEIDI, I REMEMBER IT WAS UNDER A HUT TYPE STRUCTURE THAT YOU COULD, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HEIDI!!! YOUR BEAUTIFUL, LOVING WIFE!!! (DON’T FORGET JOHN TO COME WITH THE PRETTY ROCK FOR HER FINGER THAT YOU BOUGHT IN LA JOHN!!!!!
Love ya guys!!! Paula and Nelson Baker
Hi John
Glad to see that your going home for a few days, you certainly deserve it. I know you’ll miss Heidi a great deal but just think she’ll be with her mum and I’m sure they’ll have a good time. You spend time with your family.
Love,
Suzann
Hey John! I think we need to plan something special for when you hit 2 million slaps on the blog. What do you think? It is going to happen very soon!! 1.9 million and counting! What a star you have become!! Well, hopefully for your mom’s sake, your luggage is lost, never to be found. You can always get the airlines to re-imburse you so you can buy new undies! Or, there is always the option of going “commando”. Enjoy mom’s cooking while you are there, and hopefully you can convince her to let you slap on another of her wonderful recipes. We haven’t had one from her in a loooooooong time! Catch up on your sleep while you can, especially since when you get back to Heidi, the smiley stick might just be smiling!
Sheryl
[...] Flying Home British Airways ……..our national carrier……an airline that should fill the country with pride [...] [...]
John, ever since my first cruise in 2003 I had wanted to take my kids and grandkids to Grand Cayman to visit Sting Ray City. Finally this year in celebration of my pending retirement I took my daughter and her three kids on their first cruise. On our second day our captain informed us of a detour to meet the Coast Guard because of an ill person. After the helicopter left with the ill person (I heard various rumors that it was a passenger and also that it was a crew member) the captain announced that because of the detour, we would not be able to make our planned port the next day at Grand Cayman but would have an extra day at sea. As disappointed as we were, our concern was of course with the ill person and their well-being. Secondly though, I thought of the groom who had been part of the welcome aboard show and his bride and the 39 friends and relatives along on the cruise for their wedding on Grand Cayman (I had also known of them and their plans from our cruisecritics communications).
When I returned home the first thing I did was check the cruisecritics board for our cruise to see what had happened when their plans were so suddenly ruined. They praised Carnival for helping to arrange a beach wedding a day later at Jamaica. So the wedding they had planned for months was drastically altered but they were gracious about it.
I’m still disappointed that my daughter and her kids didn’t get to experience the sting rays (which was to be the highlight of our cruise) but I figure we’ll just have to try again some day. Even with the unfortunate change in plans, it was a wonderful cruise for us. So the bride and groom still got married and I may have to take another cruise with my family. The lesson here? When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. The man who had to be put off the ship probably has a miserable life because he makes it so. I choose to enjoy my life even when it doesn’t go exactly as planned, so I have a very happy life.
Thanks for your part in making smile every day, John.
Shirley
So here’s an antidote to “Petition-Man:” http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-dogrescue18apr18,1,7290949.story. (I know, I know, it’s a competitor but it goes to show the heart of the cruise ship community).
No report that anyone circulated a petition complaining about rescuing the abandoned puppy.
Kathi
Good looking people getting the good/prestige jobs!
The expression cloths make the man comes to mind. Did you ever test it out?
Do you get more respect the better you dress? You better believe it. I tested this idea out years ago.
So good looks, proper dress=the formula for getting ahead in this somewhat superficial world today.
Thank God for down to earth caring people like you, John. Keep telling it like it is.
I am ashamed to say that I work for BA. My advice for anyone travelling thru T5… carry on luggage only!!!!
this is the biggest blunder I have ever seen.
2 senior management were canned last week over it. I really hope they get it sorted out fast!
Next time you see a Virgin Atlantic airplane check out the tail section.
It says BA No Way.
Sir Branson started that airline because BA messed him over too.
Hello , John
JUST CHECKING IN
from , JAKE S. ( :
John,
I wanted to comment on your new photo at the banner/top of the blog…you look like George Hamilton with a beautiful Woman hugging you around your neck (minus some of the tan).A very nice photo of the two of you !Is that the Imagination in the background?
Mark/ McFrog2
Let’s not forget the words to the song that’s my anthem. LOL Go Jimmy Soul!!!
“If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.”
I have more to say on the subject of how those with the “looks” have doors opened, but I’ll stop here.
John… You make such wonderful stories about the normal and frustrating things that happen in life!! Thank you for your attitude and outlook!!! It puts smiles on people’s faces… I have one on mine!!
As for normal people, normal looks, or those less fortunate… how do you all do it??? …………………….. hee hee — of course, I one, too!! :O We’re the worker bees, going in and out of the hive everyday, struggling to keep the pretty people, with their gleaming white teeth, pristine and proper, selling and giving the public what the want: PERFECTION and BLISS and NO RESPONSIBILITY…
Where would the world be without us???
Lambie
Hi John/Heidi:
Maybe that would make you a great contestant then for the next version of the Apprentice. You could learn all the corporate catch phrases and buzzwords so that you would appear like you’re a regular businessman.
Hope you got through T-5 with your bags on you. Good luck.
At least you’re better off than Naomi Campbell who’s been blackballed by BA.
Keep in touch!
David
John,
I hope your luggage arrived with you this time. It is raising my level of anxiety because we are flying British Airways this summer and will be arriving at the infamous Terminal 5. After our experience with Al-Italia last summer, I have this fear of lost luggage. We are,however, coming over several days early, so hopefully, we will have luggage for the ship. Jim keeps telling me that by July, they will have the kinks worked out of the system.
The pictures of the Cunard ships were beautiful.
Wish we could have been there to see them.
Ruth