Murphy buggered off and the result was the joyous rapture of the sight of my bruised and well traveled Samsonite suitcase making its way around the conveyor belt at Heathrow’s terminal 5……….I wanted to jump for joy and nearly hug the person standing next to me but it was old hairy ears so I decided to hold that thought……………all that stuff I had read about terminal 5 was stuff and nonsense ……oh except the escalators were not working and sighting a luggage trolley was as rare as seeing someone actually use a rock climbing wall.
Usually when I fly home I have someone pick me up as I live about 70 miles from both Gatwick and Heathrow. This is normally my mate Danny or even Alan sometimes. My Dad used to collect me but with the parking area being so far from the actual terminal now with all the security precautions I don’t want to have them come all that way. So, today I had a taxi booked and that turned out to be a big mistake.
When your body knows that some energetic, stressful activity is required it produces some sort of thing………..that keeps your body going but when it’s over it stops quicker than Brittney Spears career.
Today, my body told me enough was enough and after the miles of walking every day and the endless meetings etc as I sat on the plane it finally told me to bugger off………….I felt exhausted and just wanted to get home and put my feet up.
So, the last thing I wanted was a 1 and a half hour taxi ride with a man who could talk for Englandhis name was……….wait for itand no I am not making this up……….Dickyep………..I was about to suffer a 70 mile journey with the most annoying Dick I have met in a long time.
I knew I was in trouble as soon as I acknowledged myself to him when he proudly held my name on a piece of cardboard which looked like he had pulled from the bottom of a garbage can……….I walked over to him and introduced myself and his reaction was the same as if it was George Hamilton himself he was about to give a ride to………….shaking my hand and grabbing Mrs.Samsonite we started the walk to the car with him telling me how busy the roads were and how while he was waiting a passenger had been led off from departures in handcuffs…………by the time we reached the Taxi apart from the words ” I ‘m John ” I had not managed to say anything.
Now, when Heidi had booked me the car she had used a local company to where I live and the advert had read (and I will block out the name of the company)…….$%^&* Luxury Cars………and their moto was ” arrive in style “……….so imagine my amazement when we passed the Mercedes and the BMW’s and Dick stopped by……a Volvo estate………not one of the big XC90’s but an 4 year old Volvo estate with a huge dent in the wing. Now, I am a car snob……I will admit that but this thing looked like it should be driven by the Griswald family.
In the UK you can see how old a car is from the license plate (tag) and this showed a 03 plate. I think it was silver but that was hard to tell as Dick …….ok…….his name was Richard but I am using blog privileges and calling him Dick ………had decided to not wash his car ever and was probably able to grow potatoes on the hood in all the dirt that was caked in…………arrive in style………arrive where…………a pig farm…….an Amish community………..what a joke and this ride was costing me $100.
Anyway, as I took my seat in the back hoping that would be the clue that I wanted to close my eyes at let Dick do the driving………but Murphy had decided to return and that was me listening to Dick all the way home. He told me about his holidays, his family, his love of fishing and at one point he asked me what I did for a living……….now knowing that if I mentioned the world of cruising he was bound to have been on a cruise, known someone who has or worse used to be a Cruise Director himself I tried to think of something obscure to say that would give him to comeback……….normally in these situations I am quite good but as tired as I was the first thing that came into my mind was……………..I work on an oil rig………….on an oil rig………..where the heck did that come from……….anyway he paused……..and for a moment there was the beautiful sound of silence ………until Dick took my working on an oil rig as a chance to bullock me……..his paying passenger……….for the price of petrol in the UK……………I sat there for twenty minutes as I listened to him tell me that it was my fault he was driving a Volvo and not a Mercedes or a Range Rover as if I was J.R. Ewing and you know what…………I found myself apologizing to him. Eventually we arrived at my house and my journey was over………however as we pulled up my drive there was my darling black gleaming shining Range Rover and as I paid Dick his £50 I was told how could I drive a car like that that when people who drive cars for a living could not afford to………with that he drove off in his potato with four wheels attached leaving me promising myself to always tell the truth about my occupation.
Before I continue I would like to wish all my blog friends of the Jewish faith a happy Passover which started last night.
Last week while I was in Germany I was given a wonderful gift by the President of Aida Cruises Michael Tamm. The gift was off a beautiful model of the soon to be christened Aida Bella.
Here it is
You know, Aida is one of the unsung heroes of Carnival Corporation. This is probably due to the fact that it mostly caters to European guests but make no mistake………this cruise line is right at the top and has become one of the most successful brands in the industry.
Well, on Wednesday the Aida Bella will be christened in Warnemunde, Germany and when that happens there will be no prouder man than her Captain who I am proud to say kindly took the time to give an exclusive interview to this humble blog thingy………….here it is.
1. Can you please tell us about your career at sea so far?
My career is quite simple and easy. I grew up in a seafaring family on my father’s ship. I am working on cruise ships for 19 years now, 5 of them with AIDA Cruises. I have been Captain on all AIDA vessels, AIDAcara, vita, aura, diva and now bella. I have been around the whole world.2. What has your involvement been so far with the building of the ship?
The last 3 month I worked in the Meyer shipyard in Papenburg, which is close to my hometown. I was able to go home after work in the evening, which is very unusual for a seaman. The Meyer shipyard is a well known builder of cruise ships. In 1965, my father built his first own coaster in this shipyard, and it was the first time in my life that I passed the river Ems, where I was born, by ship to the North sea. It was a very special moment for me to repeat this trip after 43 years as captain on a newly built cruise ship.
3. Can you tell us where the ship will be sailing to and is there any one port that you are really looking forward to navigating the ship to?
During the summer season, we will be staying in the Baltic Sea. Our destinations are Tallinn, St Petersburg, Helsinki, Stockholm, Gdynia and the Isle of Rügen. Turn-around port is Warnemünde. You can eat very good rolls with Bismarck herring over there! Starting in Fall 2008 until Spring 2009, AIDAbella will be cruising the Canaries – the isles of eternal spring.4. I just saw the pier and the AIDA terminal being prepared for the naming ceremony. Can you tell us who the ship’s godmother will be and any of the traditions that are involved in the christening of an AIDA vessel?
A beautiful lady called Eva Padberg will throw the champagne bottle onto the bow of my beautiful ship and give her the name AIDAbella. Eva Padgberg is a successful young German Top model.
5. What can you tell us about the new ship’s guest areas that make this ship so exciting?
AIDAbella is the second vessel of the new AIDA generation and already the fifth club ship in the big AIDA family. She has the same great proportions like her sister ship AIDAdiva, which was christened in 2007. But she has her very own character. AIDAbella is a harmonic beauty in soft shades. She is very sophisticated.The Theatrium is the center of activities. Bars, boutiques, the casino and galleries are located around an atrium, which is open over 3 decks. In the center is the stage of the theater, where colorful shows, music and acrobatic art are presented. There are high-tech features, like the modern digital iTV, all over the vessel. You can watch videos and TV, listen to radio, book excursions, use email and Internet, watch the ship’s position and a lot more. The 4D cinema with amazing effects is the first on cruise ships ever. 7 restaurant with worldwide themes provide culinaric highlights all day long. During the opening hours, table wine and beer are for free. 11 bars offer all kinds of drinks like cocktails, spirits, champagne, wine or German beer. And – AIDAbella has the biggest swimming wellness and fitness area worldwide.
6. The service aboard an AIDA ship has a wonderful reputation. What can you tell us about your crew? Where are they from and can you introduce us to you senior officers?
AIDA has German officers, most of the ratings are Filipinos, Indonesians or Indians. At the moment, there are all-together 19 different nations on board AIDAbella, living in mutual respect and supporting each other.
7. A ship’s Captain has many responsibilities including many social ones. What social events do you attend onboard and do you enjoy them.
At the moment there are a lot of receptions for port authorities, important customers, press and photographers. The new AIDAbella is, of course, an attraction for everyone. Mickey Arrison visited us 2 weeks ago, and it was a big honor for me to have dinner with him, his wife, Michael Thamm, our president from AIDA Cruises, and Bernhard Meyer, the owner of the Meyer shipyard. It really was a great evening that I will never forget.8. How do you relax while onboard Captain?
I like to play golf sometimes. It is a good way to free the mind. I love to sit outside on my balcony, listen to good music and enjoy the sun. I like simple things – just living.
9. The AIDA brand has an amazing reputation and having been in Germany these last few days I can see how excited everyone is about your new vessel. Can you describe how proud you are to be the Captain of your new flagship?
Of course you can imagine that I am very proud to be captain on board AIDAbella. It is a big honor for me to have been chosen for the responsible job by the company. I will do my very best to bring the ship to the company’s’ top ratings. Keep your fingers crossed and support us on our way to success!10. You are hosting a Captain’s table on the ship so please tell us your favorite menu using truly German choices.
In 1996, AIDA heralded a new chapter in the history of cruise with the club-ship concept. AIDA stands for the casual cruise – no dress code, no seating order, no fixed mealtimes. There is no such thing as the classic Captain’s dinner. But I love to talk to our guests in a comfortable atmosphere. There are plenty of occasions – not only in the restaurants.My tip for savorers: Go to the gourmet restaurant Rossini and enjoy an excellent menu, recommended by the chef, with a good bottle of red wine. You are invited to join me!
Thank you Captain. I think we can all see how proud you are to be the Master of the Aida Bella and hopefully we will be able to view a few photos of you and the vessel at the naming ceremony.
Congratulations from us all.
I have at certain times on this blog criticized certain ships from Herring Cruise Lines who have allowed a few chimpanzees with paint brushes to decorate their ships bow……..I personally don’t like it. Aida also has a decorated Bow but for some reason it seems to have been done not by Charlie the Chimp but by Andy Warhol or Pablo Picasso.
I decided to ask someone at Aida ’s boardroom level their concept as to the ship’s hull decoration. Here is what I learned.
They wanted me to understand that the original concept was for AIDA to stand out; to be different from traditional cruise lines and in fact be……. CLUB SHIP.
The hull design has become their brand statement- their logo. It’s the same on all ships and shouts AIDA. On other ship’s it looks like graffiti with no meaning other then to scream look at me but its different on all ships and makes no statement about the brand.
So Aida is indeed a brand you cannot ignore and one and one I hope to experience for myself one day soon.
So, I have unpacked and just returned from a dinner at my Mum and Dads……….we had home made chicken curry……….it was divine. I had bought my Mum a few gifts from the various ports to soften the request to do my laundry…….my underwear is currently spinning around in her Hoover as we speak.
Now I am home alone……..and once again not having Heidi here is very strange especially having been around so many people the last two weeks. It’s only 9:00 pm but I am about to turn my TV off and go to bed. I just watched a soccer match featuring Manchester United who are the richest team in the soccer world. I miss football when I am traveling or on the ships and to watch a live match is a treat. However, today as I watched I got quite mad. The stars of the team are paid outrageous sums of money with some earning $200,000 a week……….yep……….a week. Yet here they were today, running around for a few minutes and then they scored a goal…………and that was it……..the rest of the 70 minutes they just run around the pitch not wanting to mess up their hair dreaming of what colour Bentley to buy tomorrow…….I sat there alone and thinking I wonder what would happen in professional sport if the teams were only paid if they won or paid on the amount of dedication they gave for the entire time they were on the field……..maybe we should go back to Roman times and any player who does not give 100% gets fed to the lions.
I am very excited about Tuesday and my visit to the Queen Mary 2…………this vessel saved the Iconic name of Cunard and I cannot wait to find out what makes her quite simply the most important and most spectacular Ocean Liner …………….in the world.
Time for a cup of tea and then off to bed…………it’s a trying life working on an oilrig. You know, I used to love Dallas and to me and many Brits it symbolized America in the eighties. We all loved the program until an entire series full of twists and turns, life and death had when Bobby Ewing stepped out of that shower saying he had a bad dream………I never watched Dallas gain and turned my loyalties to the Carrington family and that wonderful series Dysentery.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
For Sale, Cheap!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/20/bond.car.ap/index.html
‘Bond’ car plunges into Italian lake
ROME, Italy (AP) — The car being used in the latest James Bond film plunged into a lake in northern Italy while being driven to the set.
http://i.l.cnn.net/cnn/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/20/bond.car.ap/art.bondcar.jpg
A crane lifts the Aston Martin out of Lake Garda.
Producers say the driver of the Aston Martin was taken to a hospital with minor injuries.
They say James Bond’s iconic car was being delivered to the filming unit in heavy rain on Saturday morning when it went off the road and plunged into Lake Garda.
Italian state TV has shown footage of the smashed, black car being hoisted out of the water.
“Quantum of Solace” is the newest film in the 007 series. It stars Daniel Craig and is due for release later this year
————————————————
My Splendor Webpage:
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/splendor/splendor.htm
John, my friend…
What a miserable cab ride that must have been… and pricey too! Well, at least it’s behind you and you’ve got a few days at home. Good for you.
The Master of the AIDA Bella sounds like a delightful gentleman. I’m afraid I missed his name. I’m sure it was in there somewhere but it must have simply blown by me.
Regarding the art on the bow and hull of the AIDA ships… the first time I saw it I got the same impression you did – Picasso… Not the odd and random splash of paint but something whimsical and yet with purpose. I like it.
Please say hello and pass along my best wishes to your mate and our friend Alan.
All my best to Heidi and the wonderful MOB, Stephanie!!
Thanks, mate!
GregB
An oil rig, OMG John! I think you had better come up with a new “line of business” to use when next in that kind of situation. Why not try “Scotland Yard – but if I told you what I did I’d have to kill you”. That just might work.
Would never have taken you for a Dallas or “Dysentery” watcher. They used to be my DH and my secret pleasures. What a great way to unwind after the stress of work.
Thank you for the interview with the Captain. Did I read too fast, just what was his name?
Please give us details on the US TV thingy as soon as you can.
Rest well, I’m sure Heidi is dreaming of you as you are of her.
Thanks for the laugh today. Bet it feels good to be in your own bed, I love to travel but that first night home ..my bed always feels the best!
Jan
John,
Glad to hear you finally got home in one piece. Just a comment regarding soccer and most professional sports salaries… the only pro sport that pays on performance is GOLF. You have to show up and do well to get paid. Every pro sport should be this way, as you alluded to.
Keep well and we hope to see you on the Freedom next Feb / Mar.
Nobody made him be a taxi driver that was his own personal choice. He could always be delivering pizza. mmmmmm… pizza.
_BigMike
B.S. Chief
John:
Yes, I still watch reruns of Dallas. It comes on a 3 AM so I have to record it and watch it at a normal hour.
If you have not watched it since Bobby’s return, then you have missed JR being married to a hick from Haileyville.
Dallas and reruns of Designing Women are a hoot!
Rest up, enjoy the time with your Mom and Dad and tell Heidi that we all said HI!!
Linda
Happy Sunday John!
So glad you are having time at home after all the adventure you have had these last weeks. Of course it is a mixed bag without Heidi there but oh-so-lovely that she has time with her Mum now.
And I am here so glad that I am packing to be NOT home in just one more week! I am off with my Mom to sail on Ecstasy!!! First time on Ecstasy, first time out of Galveston, cannot wait to be there!!!
LOVED hearing about the AIDAbella!! And now I see her Godmother is named Eva, how fun to read! Reminded me of my grandfather Gaetano, who put “bella” after all the girls’ names…unless we were in big trouble :>)…..
ENJOY your rest, dear man, and hugs to you and Heidi, and Stephanie!!!
Evabella :>)
Tom P.
You said “the only pro sport that pays on performance is GOLF”. What about tennis, bowling, auto racing, horse racing or any time you can say “I WON”. Not team sports because there is no “I” in team.
BIG ED
Your luggage arrived with you? You must have some pull.
Anyway, glad you made it home safe and sound. Looking forward to seeing you on the USA network.
Oh, only 41 days until I get Liberty.
Jon
Oh Linda, I love Designing Women but unfortunately it isn’t showing on any Canadian stations right now and I don’t have a satellite dish……
John,
AN OIL RIG, AN OIL RIG????? OMG….LOL That’s your best one yet!
Cheers,
Cindy
John,
Glad you are finally home after what was a successful trip, minus the few problems (i.e., lost luggage, etc) Enjoy the time you have at home.
It was smart to give your Mum gifts before asking her to do the laundry, buttering up always helps, lol.
Can’t wait to here about Queen Mary 2!
BroMate – I kept reading the interview responses with an Italian accent, then you said he was German. Hope he has a name, but I couldn’t find it. We go out on the Glory in 6 days. Trying out a new oxygen concentrator so we can expand our travel horizons. And yes, I bet being in the doghouse is better than not being with her at all. Be well.
John
after that taxi ride with”DICK”
guess you are ready for some real,
Spotted Dick,,
have fun at home,,and drink a pint for me.
your buds
tom & jane
dude! i’m just back from a lovely week on the valor and you have done 20 posts in that week!!!
next time in a situation like that cab just pretend to fall asleep. after a few minutes you will either BE asleep or he will notice and shut up (well maybe)…
now i have some reading to do. btw, i LOVED the valor! amazing ship…
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Welcome Home John! So glad you are home safe and your luggage arrived with you. I enjoyed the interview with the Captain. He sounds like a down to earth gentleman who enjoys the simple things in life, like a beautiful sunset.
Take care and enjoy your trip to the queens.
Julie Gantt
John,
Glad your luggage made it! Sorry about the cab ride. But I bet it feels good to be home. You must miss Hedi.
Try to keep the house clean so you don’t end up in the dog house.
I’m so looking forward to hearing all about the Queen Mary2!! Take lots of pictures.
Princess Susan
Wow Terminal 5 granted you your luggage back….wonders never cease…. After the adventures over the last two weeks I would not only put my feet up….I would sleep for an entire day.
Sorry that you were encumbered with a frustrating Dick on your taxi ride…. However we have been straddled with an annoying Dick for these past 7 or so years…. Elections are almost here though….
An oil rig….
Perhaps Carnival is diversifying and getting into the oil exploration business as well (to help offset the fuel surcharges).
As the cruise director of this new class of ship you could introduce a new “Climb This” marketing scheme.
For those true climbing enthusiasts onboard there are always opportunities to climb the much more adventurous and challenging derrick attraction on Lido deck.
http://www.pennenergy.com/articles/enlarge_image.cfm?SITEID=os&IMAGE_ID=227664
Mark
The Flying Dutchman
John, you are a hoot! Worked on an oil rig! That was toooo funny! Next time time tell them you make pizza or deliver mail. I don’t know how you were able to tolerate 1 1/2 ride with Dick running off at the mouth! Maybe if you had started snoring, really loudly, he would have shut up! I hope you are able to get some rest. I’m sure you have hit “the wall.”
Eva, we leave Thursday on the Ecstasy! I’m guessing you will be getting on her, when we get off. Have a wonderful cruise!
John,
Who do we contact for a meet and greet?
We are cruisecritic members for June 15th on the Freedom. We are about 50 strong. Thanks for your help. Barb
John glad you made it home safe. I got tired just reading the blogs about all the places you visited .Hope you will miss Heidi a lot remember absence makes the heart grow stronger can’t wait till July 21 Freedom Have a good night
Two things reminded me of a particular ‘John’ story this weekend. The weather and technology.
Let’s start with the weather. Now I am sure all of you have experienced bad weather, hopefully not whilst cruising but in the UK bad weather is quite rare and on the occasions when it strikes it makes national news and the ill-prepared country grinds to a halt. In Hong Kong they are always ready and a Typhoon level 3 was hoisted at the weekend. How dramatic I hear you cry … well I’m afraid not … I’ve been in a level 9 typhoon, when I was expecting the skyscrapers to sway and Godzilla to emerge from the harbour but everyone just went home and took their pot plants off their balconies.
Ok, so it did rain alot at the weekend and was a little windy (hence the reference in my story to follow) but everyone here is so prepared that it’s never a problem. For a start, everyone in HK carries a brolly (umbrella) which is used on sunny days for shade and of course on rainy ones and so every single shop sells them from Starbucks to pharmacies from camera stores to MacDonald’s, in fact we all scurry around Hong Kong sponsored by our most frequented shop. John’s of course would be Dollar General.
The joy of it all is when it’s raining, every store has an umbrella stand outside and small plastic wrappers to place your umbrella in so it doesn’t drip on your toes … ingenious… if I wasn’t English ! This means I am totally paranoid that umbrella etiquette means my fabulous Four Seasons brolly will be stolen from outside the store by the brolly burglar and so I shop with one eye on the door, which then makes me think that everyone see’s me as a potential Winona Ryder and I’m gonna make a run for it with an armful of clothes. Shopping becomes so stressful that I leave, my umbrella still safe and wondering why I’m so worried about an umbrella that I actually pinched from the Four Seasons 3 years ago. Where was I … oh yes so the rant above is to explain that on the day in question…. it was windy.
Ok technology. I got an iphone for my birthday. Wow huh ??? that was February …. It is now April and I no longer have an iphone – who needs a phone that does so much and just confuses me ??? I need a phone to call home and text occasionally and maybe take the odd photo … I have an ipod for my music and a Blackberry for work which I sit and pray to every morning in my cab … but the iphone was just too much … it even has an option to make toast and heat up baby food.
So now my techy husband has it and I am content with my 1980’s Nokia which is the size of a housebrick. So as you can imagine, web-cams and me are not what you’d call a match made in heaven but living so far away it great to chat to friends in the UK and for the grandparents to see the children who are usually just running around screaming in the background. Last night was an exception because UNCLE JOHN was on-line. As the kids heard his voice they jumped out the bath and the dog hid under the bed and there he was live on screen. My kids laugh so much when they talk to their uncle that they get hick-ups and have been known on occasion to have thrown up from laughing so much. Last night was no exception. My 7 year old son was telling Uncle J that he was learning his 5 times table …. 1 x 5 = 5 2 x 5 = 10 blah blah blah …. so John told him when the teacher asks Luke what 5 x 3 is he should answer 15 farts and so on and so on which had the children in fits of giggles … and my mum in the background giving John an old fashioned clip round the ear for being so naughty ! Now every single piece of what happened last night reminded me of my John story… let me elaborate further ….
Back we go again …. back further than my last story of John scaring naked women in bathrooms ….. back further than Dr John Kildare in Espagnol …. back to the days where John was at high school and I worshiped him and believed every word he uttered to be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
My father, as I am sure John has mentioned before, was a school teacher before he retired and worked at a High School for especially bright kids. In the UK you take an exam aged 11 to determine which school you progress on to …. and the smart kids all went here. Needless to say John and I didn’t. Anyway, the school excelled in everything and was given grants by the government to advance their technology and sports programmes. This particular year, the government had funded what they called a Foreign Language Laboratory to be built in the Language Wing of the school. A language lab was a room full of booths where you sat with headphones and microphones on and recited back what the teacher said which was recorded and played back so the teacher could click in and listen whilst you parlez Francais. It was state of the art back then and one of the first in the country. The opening of the new building was a huge event to be covered by the local press and attended by all parents and more importantly opened by the Mayor of Calais … a port in France with whom the children had had a student exchange with from the local school.
Traditional on such occasions when visiting dignitaries attend openings, a young flower girl will sweetly smile in her Sunday best and hand over a poesy of flowers. That young flower girl with her hair in ringlets (ala Nelly Olsen in Little House On the Prairie) and the missing front teeth was ME. It was decided weeks before that I should be the one and my proud parents were very excited at the prospect and my older brother was too so it seemed, as he decided to school me on what to say as I handed over the flowers in the mayors first language of French.
And so the day came. And it was windy …. panic of course followed and major steps had to be taken to stop the school bands music flying everywhere and makeshift banner ‘Welcome Friends From France’ from collapsing ! A PA system was wheeled out for fear that Monsieur Le Mayor’s exciting words could not be heard above the howling wind. So as the hats of the wives were flying into the air as if they’d all graduated, I stood nervously reciting the words my brother had taught me in my head. The mayor took to the stage with handlebar moustache and his wife crammed into a dress so tight I remember thinking if she eats a single cucumber sandwich her buttons will pop off and have someone’s eye out. In no time I was being pushed from behind by my over eager mum towards them … it was my turn in the spot light … I curtsied and handing over my flowers said to Madam Le Mayor … “tu as une tete de babouin poilu”
Now because of the wind and my shyness, nobody really heard me, so when someone behind me thrust the microphone in my face and said ’say that again dear – so we can all hear’ I boomed it out at the top of my voice “TU AS UNE TETE DE BABOUIN POILU” . The crowd fell silent …. then the school band collapsed with laughter as they were all super smart of course and spoke French ….. the Lady Mayor was speechless … but the Mayor was a true professional, smiled and patted me on the head so hard I thought my knees would give way … I was grabbed by a teacher and the Mayor was whisked on to meet the local police chief and other important locals.
Now Essex is not known for it’s bilingual skills but it seems more people than most understood that saying to the Lady mayor “you have the face of a hairy baboon’ was more an insult than a welcome. Being young I was totally unaware of the uproar I had caused. My brother was standing there with a big grin on his face and my parents only realised it was John’s doing that had led to my potty-mouth when him and Alan were caught doing the dance of victory and high 5-ing each other. Needless to say he got a whole lot more than a clip round the ear and was made to pick up litter in the schools playground every night for 2 months and copy his French exercise book out cover to cover 3 times… and so began an affair with the French that would last until the end of time …
Le séjour sûr mes amis qui ne ressemblent pas aux babouins poilus
Welcome home John
Glad your luggage decided to come home with you. It was great reading all about the shore excursions, now i really really cant wait until August. I so want to go to the ice bar, im getting chills already thinking about it. Im glad we are going to the baltic on a cruise as i dont think i could cope with the herring and toblerone, give me the melting choc cake any day.
Donna
John,
have fun on QM2, She is by far and away the best ship I have ever been on. Oh, say goodbye to QE2 for me. I will not see her again now (unless I can get to one of the ports for the farewell to Britain thing).
Loved your reports by the way, keep them up
James
John’s Sister,
Suzanne now even more I think you must join My Evil Krewe. Let us help you get even with that mean ole brother of yours. You so just got to come to the 2009 Bloggers Cruise. Oh and if Alan joined us also John would never be safe. He would be looking over his shoulder 24/7. John would have no time to get even with me for my April Fool joke.
BIG ED
Bravo!! Bravo Suzanne!!!!! Love it !! I was laughing out loud even before you finished the story. I knew that coming from John … oh my GOD LOL It must have been fun growing up with John. A house filled with laughter.
Uncle John must be the coolest uncle.Your narration was so good that I could see your kids having fun with their uncle.Thanks for sharing.You and John have a talent.You should also write a blog you are great in it. And for this:
“My kids laugh so much when they talk to their uncle that they get hick-ups and have been known on occasion to have thrown up from laughing so much”.
You are not the only one now we are a legion. LOL
Muchos huggos
Nanni
BTW I dont remember reading about this:
John scaring naked women in bathrooms ….. back further than Dr John Kildare in Espagnol ….
Someone help! Where is it? Or it is coming soon? LOL
Nanni
John,
Oh my goodness…you were so mean to your sister!! But that didn’t stop me from laughing so hard from her story.
I feel so sorry for your sister when she gets a phone call from school telling her that her son keeps telling fart jokes. So glad to hear you are still spreading your evilness.
Hope Alan is getting along ok.
Princess Susan
We are starting to get prepared for our voyage in August on the Splendor and one of our concerns is cash to buy things. What do you recommend for cash in these ports. What is their currency? and what do they except ? Credit cards? US $ Euro’s or their own……
And yes, we too are starting to be concerned about losing our luggage in London…….John you are scaring us!!!!!!!!!
Please advise………….
Hi John,
Welcome back home. At least you can have a real breakfast and not just bread and cheese…… looks like you have a busy week ahead of you. I’m sorry that you won’t see Heidi for her birthday.
Thank you for sharing all the wonderful photos from your destinations. Thanks to Bubba as well, since I didn’t get a chance to say that earlier. I wish him all the best as CD.
From all the complications of flying that you went through from St. Petersburg to the “ceiling fans” plane, and the Fokker…… it would be most ridiculous not to follow your advice about cruising there rather than flying. I know exactly what you mean by that show “The Apprentice”. It’s like if someone has buck teeth and a third leg, you immediately disqualify to be on the show… A lot of shows are like that unfortunately…… and the sad part is that some of these not-so-attractive people have more brilliant ideas and strategies than the celebrity wanna-bes…
I wish all the best for that sick crew member they got off the Conquest. I hope the inconsiderate son of a b***h does indeed get seasick, lockjaw, and a permanent affiliation with Murphy! I mean, yeah it’s always disappointing when a port of call must be cancelled, but saving someone’s life is far more important than a vacation! Thanks to the captain for taking the garbage off the ship!
The story of Anne Frank does amaze me as well. I may not be big on history but this is indeed one of my favorite topics and I hope to see it for myself soon! I also enjoy the frequent raspberry flavored blogs! It gives us more chances to read more, laugh more, and stay updated. It’s also great to hear from your sister as well.
Well, I hope you enjoy your time at home and I hope the weather is nice as well. We’ve had such beautiful weather here lately in the NY/NJ area and we have another beautiful week ahead of us.
Have a great day!
Cheers,
Alex G.
Hi John/Heidi:
Congrats on your bags making it back to you at T5. I know this is a major victory even though it was spoiled by your taxi ride home. Sorry
A true turning point in the history of Dallas and yet so many wonderful things happened after that chapter of the show. I will say that if JR were real and alive today, he’d be jumping for joy as he watches the price of oil/gasoline rise to record levels.
Excellent interview with the Captain of Bella…She seems like a beautiful vessel (as rendered by your gift..very cool) and I hope one day we are able to experience her beauty.
Thank you for a great blog today and hope you are enjoying the brief time available to spend with your family.
Looking forward to hearing more soon!
David
John…
Your taxi ride sounds horrible…
The driver, inconsiderate…
The lack of freshness to his taxi, reprehensible…
BUT YOU’RE HOME!!! HOORAY!!!!
And all along the way, we laughed WITH you and enjoyed the ride… “Now about those gas prices… just what are YOU going to do about them???”
Ahhhh, the Captain of the Aida Bella… This man sounds delightful!!! Simple, dedicated, honest, and passionate. As all Captains that the Carnival lines hire… OUTSTANDING!!!!
Looking forward to more and more from you… and any clips you can pre-release to us on video would be quite tasty and well recieved!!! Let us SEE what you’re doing!!!
Lambie
John,
Not sure if what we are sending even gets through. Can you just let us know if you receive this.
Thank you,
Betty & Rick Miles
Hi John,
I so enjoyed the blog and your sister’s stories. The captain’s interview was wonderful and the Aida looks like a beautiful ship. I think the painting on the side is pretty-not too over the top. I also like the new picture at the top of you and Heidi. Looking forward to stories from the Queen. Take care.
Oh John’s sister!! You had me laughing so hard I cried, I think you have a new vocation as a writer. I sure would buy your books. Please keep writing here.
Jan
John,
Instead of watching a boring football game, maybe you should have been reading the owner’s manual for your clothes washer in order to learn how to wash your own clothes. Real men do do laundry.
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
-Robert A. Heinlein
*****
I totally agree with you about what a copout the “it was only a dream” excuse is. I’m not a big fan of soap operas, (except for that wonderful spoof, “Soap”!), but I’m sure I would have felt the way you did. Just as football players shouldn’t “phone it it”, neither should screenwriters.