Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008...1:14 pm
A short blog from the luckiest man in the world
There are certain things in life that have a huge build up and then once experienced are a major disappointment. …….my first proper kiss for example. My mates had told me what to do and I was so excited to “snog” a girl called Helen…….we did and for me it was a huge let down. Her tongue was as rough as an armadillo’s and because she had just had a cigarette it was like kissing the inside of a packet of Camels…….I was a very disappointed 27 year old.
So many people have told me that the Queen Mary 2 is the greatest, grandest most incomparable vessel in the world.
Well I having just spent the last three hours onboard I have to agree…she is the most amazing, spectacular indescribable, stunning vessel……in the world. I have always wanted to visit this icon of the seas and now I have……….and it was brilliant.
As I write I am sitting on a boat in the river waiting for the Queen Mary and Queen Victoria to sail and sail past the legend herself…..The Queen Elizabeth 2.
Is there a luckier man than me…….well apart from the man who does Jessica Simpson’s laundry…….the answer is no.
Tomorrow I will dedicate an entire report on this ship and the experience of seeing the three ladies of the ocean together…..something I will never forget.
Please excuse my short raspberry blog today
By the way, that girl Helen I kissed………she became a Nun!
Cheers
John
42 Comments
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 pm
John - I can’t believe you were 27 when you had your first kiss!
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
John! How remarkable! My first girlfriend became a nun as well!! Amazing!
Not as amazing, I’m sure, as seeing the Three Queens together. If there’s a lovelier sight I can’t imagine it.
I’m going to be refreshing your blog every two minutes an anticipation of the arrival of your next installment and the pictures!!
I can’t wait!!
Thanks!!
GregB
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
“she became a Nun!”
Hee, hee!
Well John, I am glad you did your bit for Zero Population Growth!
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I can’t wait to see your pictures of the three ladies of the ocean. 27 and first proper kiss???? I’m not sure I believe that one. I do understand the “camel” comment - I always thought it was a bit like kissing a wet ashtray…G-ROSS!!!!! BTW, I love the new banner photo of you and Heidi.
Lori
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
She became a nun! I have herd a kiss can turn a frog into a princess, but a nun, thats a new one. I just make them disappear altogether. Mike
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
John, surely you meant to say at age of 17 (RIGHT ) !!!! If it was at 27 ,what a terrible experience for a young man.
Ready for the blog on the 3 ladies and the photo.
Seems like you really had a great time !!!!
What a great header picture of you and Hiedi . Is that one from the stop at Half Moon Cay ?
Have a great day mate!!!!
Tony
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Became a num?? John I’m wondering what part your kissing (ability) had in her making that decision. You must have gotten MUCH better by the time you met Heidi!
And just what makes you think the man who does Jessica Simpson’s laundry is lucky. And this comment by a man who doesn’t even know how to do his own. I really think if you ever wanted to give the two women you love the most in the world, Heidi and your Mum, the greatest gift it would be doing your own laundry. As you can tell, I’m going to nag you forever about this.
Can’t wait until for you to describe the “three ladies”. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to post this raspberry. Barb
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Well John, according to an advisory that I received today, you have quite a bit to be thankful for young man!! Bravo - it appears that you have officially hit celebrity status!
“Carnival blog nears two-million mark: The blog of Carnival Cruise Lines’ senior cruise director John Heald continues to set new milestones, with the number of total hits approaching two million and daily visitors increasing 55 per cent over the past month. Heald’s blog can be accessed via http://www.carnival.com or http://www.johnhealdsblog.com . New content includes Heald’s humorous account of his recent trips to Denmark and Finland to research shore excursion choices for the new Carnival Splendor’s inaugural Northern Europe cruises this summer, and a daily journal from Chris Roberts, cruise director aboard the Carnival Spirit, who offers his own unique perspective in preparing for the vessel’s Alaska program that kicks off in May. The popularity of the blog has led to the second annual “John Heald’s Bloggers Cruise” aboard the Carnival Fantasy from New Orleans Feb. 7-12, 2009, which looks to match the success of the first Bloggers Cruise earlier this year that attracted more than 800 of Heald’s most ardent fans.”
So glad to hear that you enjoyed your time with the QM2 - she has a presence about her for sure!!
Have a great night!
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
John…
an armadillo’s tongue… hummm. I live in Texas and I have never, repeat never, experienced an armidillo’s tongue… from any angle… you would know the feel of this because…. And you’re an Englishman… OK, I will only imagine and fantasize… :O
The three Queens!! WOW!!! To see them all and experience them — WOW!!! TRULY LUCKY!!!
How did they sound??? I’d love to be in the midst of the horns when they all sound!! I can imagine my body feeling the bass-tones… Oooohhh!!
I look forward to your report!!!
Lambie
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Hey, John! I’m that nun!
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Hi John/Heidi:
27 and then she became a nun? Hmm…Well, better late than never
Can’t wait to read the Queen blogs and see some pictures. I have been looking forward to this.
I am glad that you got to enjoy this moment you had been looking foward to for so long.
Hope everything else is going well and keep in touch!
Thanks again.
David
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Suzanne (John’s Sister)
What can you add to this fantastic story of that first kiss at 27 (twenty seven). I’m sure you can add a completely different spin to that story. I bet even Heidi can add something about kissing a Cuban cigar smoking sod.
BIG ED
PS. John if my cabin doesn’t have life vest I’m not going anywhere near the outer decks on the BC.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
dude! very cool!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
John,
When I read this, I thought it might be of interest to you and almost certainly to Heidi:
“This herb’s distinctive flavor (and anti-flatulent properties) make it one of the essential ingredients in traditional black beans.
Correct answer:
D. Epazote
Epazote is also known as “Mexican tea”"
Enjoy!
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Oh goodie……and pictures too.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hi John—howgreat to see the 3 ladies, cant wait for the pics.
Speaking of nuns ( I went to Cathloic school) Do you know why nuns always travel together ? To make sure one nun doesnt get none.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Let’s call her holy Helen, the smoking nun. You better not go and visit her today or she may strike you knuckles with a ruler.
_BigMike
Director, B.S.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
BigMike
Your giving away your age with that “she may strike you knuckles with a ruler”. They can’t do that now. But oh yes, I also remember those days. I had many a ruler busted over my knuckles. I’m right handed BY NUN. Smack! everytime I put the pencil in my left hand.
BIG ED
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
John,
Sounds like you got a better view than we did! We saw our friends off on the QM2 today, and saw all three say good bye to one another. Was fantastic.
Can’t wait for your pics, the dockside was very crowded as we tried to take ours!
Gav and Em
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Hi John,
I don’t believe for 1 minute that you were 27 before you got your first proper kiss!!! I’ve seen pictures of you at a young tender age and you were and still are quite the looker! I would like to read Alans take on some of this stuff…. Maybe you can get him to write a little or dictate something to his lovely Alison, for us to read.
Suzanne…. we need some input from you on this subject!!!
Can’t wait for photos from your visit with the 3 Queens! Glad you had such a wonderful day!
Princess Barb… The very quiet speechless one!
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Good evening Mr. Heald. I will be looking forward to your blog about the three vessels altogether in the water. It has to be quite a sight. I hope that you’ll have some photos for us?I wonder how many men have dated women that eventually became nuns? I can be counted as one of them. She was a beautiful lady and we dated for two years and after some time I decided to ask her to marry me. Just before I said those words of love, she said, Paul, I love you but I love God better. I’m going to be a NUN. I was devastated at that moment. But it went well later because I found the real woman that I truly fell in love with and today we have been married for 33 years. Also that nun, she left the order and got married and has children today. I guess that’s how life goes. I’ve always wondered, how do you decide on your titles for your blog? Enjoy yourself my friend. Ciao.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Re your first kiss… I am absolutely relieved that you weren’t referring to my sister!!!
kaz
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Oh John…. you’ve been away so very long …… Helen has left the sisterhood and is now an Elvis impersonator in a Chinese restaurant in Wales and is called Dave. Pull that dress on Dolly ….’Islands in a stream ………’
Nanni … as for John scaring naked women in bathrooms ….. back further than Dr John Kildare in Espagnol ….
Please see A Blog from Denmark April 5th and
A Rasberry Flavoured Blog Part 7
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Hi John, can’t wait to see the pictures.
Just got home from the 10 day cruise on Princess in Tahiti. I liked it but Carnival is my ship and always will be. Had a great time and saw so much. The ship was small, only 670 guests, so we were like a famiy.
It is good to be home so I can read your blogs.
Daniel and Jennifer
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:56 pm
John-
Can’t wait to hear about the three queens.
Looking forward to seeing pictures!
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:02 pm
[...] A short blog from the luckiest man in the world There are certain things in life that have a huge build up and then once experienced are a major disappointment. [...] [...]
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Hey John
My family and I cruised on the Carnival Freedom in August. The day we embarked was August seventeenth 2007. My family and I went on the Eastern European Cruise.(Rome, Naples, Venice, Dubrovnik, Barcelona, Cannes, and Livarno/ Pisa/ Florence). This was by far the best cruise me and my family have ever taken. Everything was phenomenal- the food, the friendliness of the staff, ect. everything was outstanding. To make it even better, I had my birthday on the cruise. This December, my family and I will be going on the Carnival Legend, which goes to the Western Caribbean. I cannot wait.
URGENT: PLEASE REPLY:
I read your blog every day, but lately I have been to busy to read it. But today, i was able to catch up on reading it. I have noticed that you are recording T.V. show for America soon. But i didn’t see what channel it will be on. So this is my question: WHAT AMERICAN CHANNEL WILL THE SHOW BE ON, AND WHEN WILL IT BE ON. REPLY THE CHANNEL, THE TIME, AND THE DAY.
Thanks
Lizards821 (Daniel)
P.S. My family and I think you are the best cruise director in the world!!!!!
P.P.S. My family and I also cruised on the Diamond Princess for an Alaskan Voyage, and we loved it just as much as you loved the Emerald Princess.
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:02 pm
John,
I haven’t had a chance to post since being on your last week as CD on the Freedom. Just wanted to let you know we had a wonderful week, in spite of our “luggage problems.” Thanks for posting our picture on your blog. You mentioned that the airline lost our luggage. That isn’t really true. Our plane was delayed out of St. Louis for 4 hours and we landed in Miami at 3:40 and had a choice, go get our luggage and miss the ship, or run from the plane and find the taxi driver wearing the NASCAR hat and leave our bags at the airport.
Well, we made the ship somehow. I just want you to know how much we appreciated that either Carnival or American Airlines flew our bags to Cozumel and delivered them to our room. Only two days without our bags. This was unexpected since we were the ones who decided not to pick up our bags.
Once again, thank you soooo much and we look forward to sailing with you again in April on the Splendor!!!
Mike and Michelle
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
John:
Larry & I are still taking longing looks at the Baltic cruises, and we have been taking a look at the shore excursions in St. Petersburg (listed on Carnival’s website). I have a question regarding the “Panoramic St. Petersburg” tour. If the description does not specifically say the motor coach stops at a place, do we assume we just zoom past it? We would like to be able to get off the coach and take photos and walk at least a LITTLE bit! Also, the descriptions mentions a short stop will be made for souvenir shopping. How short is “short”?
Terri
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Wow! John…it took 27 years to kiss a girl…no wonder she became a nun!
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:30 am
I know you haven’t heard from me in a while. Nothing special to say. Just want you to know I’m still around. Haven’t written anything because some strange thing called “life” [what is that, anyway] superceded “cyberlife”.
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 am
lol well good thing too! first she cant kiss… and second,now the whole of the world knows it.. LOL
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:40 am
Hi John,
Do you really expect us to believe that your first (proper kiss, not sure what that means exactly) was n’t until 27, a good looking gur like you? Were you studying to be a priest up till then yourself?:)
‘Bye
Sue frm Narrowsburg
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 am
Thank you Suzanne!
Those were blogs I had to read in a hurry when I got
back from my trip.I didn’t remember. Please continue to write.We know you must be busy but we love them.
Nanni
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:27 am
This Duchess is anxiously waiting for the pics of the three Queens…and your story. And for more news/views from Sue Drip. Cheers!
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:01 am
John: can’t wait for pictures of the 3. We love to cruise on carnvial, but perhaps when we get older and have more $$$ we will splurge and go on one of the Cunard liners. Right now we are content on the fun ships
Deanna
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am
Big Mike:
The smoking nun…….ROFL
I totally agree with the analogy of kissing an ashtray …… YUK!…. At the very least Listerine first….
Seeing the 3 Queens sailing together would be quite a vista…..(no affiliation with the Microshaft product)
Mark
The Flying Dutchman
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:39 am
Hi to all John’s Blog Thingy fans,
I’m hoping some of you reading this were on the January 2008 Bloggers Cruise aboard the Carnival Freedom. I was one of the journalists aboard and am writing a magazine article (to be published in a major cruise magazine this September) about the cruise. If you were there, I’d love to interview you. Please drop me an e-mail at travelwriting@aol.com and I’ll get right back to you. Thanks! Clark Norton.
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
hi John,
glad the qm2 impressed!.. I’m taking the freedom over on 4/26 and the qm2 back on june 14 ending on july2 in new york.. first time for me on Carnival and first time on Cunard after some 30 odd cruises!.. I guess I don’t need to ask if you can wear jeans to dinner on the Queen :).. I did get your message about the possiblity of not making on the Freedom:(… well, there’s still hope.. I can’t believe you will leave Tod on that sailing with 3000 mahjong players and one mahjong set!!…
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:40 am
John,
I’ve fallen behind on commenting…sorry about that…just wanted to say hi, and that it’s not because of you that she became a nun. You’re a good-looking (and oh, so funny) guy, and it was just meant for you and Heidi to be together!
Shannan
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
For those of us just joining, could you please explain how the three queens will be seen sailing together? My last recollection was the Queen Mary in Longbeach, and I hear the QE2 is heading for a similar fate in the middle east. If the Queen Mary is not returning… and I cannot get a $7 milkshake worth easily double that any longer, I must hear of it! Inquiring minds want to know!
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
John,
27!!!!!!!!!!!!! What took you sooooo long!!!!!!!
This has got to be a great story from John on why?????????????
AND JOHN: YOU MUST TELL US WHY!!!!!
Looking forward to the 3 Queens and their pics.
Love, Paula and Nelson Baker
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