Many people ask what they did with the Berlin Wall after it was knocked down. Much of it was taken by the people of Germany as souvenirs but it has always been a mystery what happened to the rest………..I have discovered what they did with those big lumps of concrete……..they were sold to the Berlin Hilton Hotel who then made their beds out of them. I have to say that after the beds in Estonia and Russia which were like sleeping on blocks of soft butter the bed in the Hilton was as hard as a wall and I had 6 hours of blissful sleep.

The problem with a soft mattress for me is that during the night Heidi tends to turn over and with me on the other side that’s like rolling down a large hill.

Good morning and hier ist nummer ein of my Himbeeren (raspberry in German) blogs. Once again sorry that I cannot post a regular blog but we started our touring at 8 am and we will not be returning to a hotel at 10 pm and then the last thing I feel like doing is sitting at the computer …….well……actually……..it’s actually the second to last thing I feel like doing but don’t tell Heidi.

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Here I am in Berlin and we have just finished a whirlwind tour of this city of so many different styles and cultures. This city will I think present a whole new series of emotions that I have yet to experience this trip so far. Those emotions have surfaced already as I stood next to Check Point Charlie. This was the third of the check points along with Alfa, Bravo and then the most famous……Charlie. Before I came here all I really thought about when I heard the words Check Point Charlie were the previously mentioned Micahel Caine Movies and the John Le Carre novel Tinker, Taylor, Soldier Spy.

However, standing there with our guide listening to the stories of the 500 plus people who were shot on sight trying to escape to the West and those hundreds more who were captured and never seen again………well, the movies become real life and life for the people in the east was full of despair. This dispair was also evident in the buildings that looked exactly the same as some of the Soviet ones we saw in St.Petersburg. From Check Point Charlie we went to the last pieces of the Berlin Wall. You do not need me to tell you the significance of its collapse and the sections that are still standing have been painted by young artists with reminders and memories of what was. The one that struck me was the painting of the only car ever to be made in Eastern Germany. It was called a Trabant and the painting by a young 19 year old artist depicts the Trabant smashing through the Berlin wall signifying the escape to Freedom. Once again to stand next to this piece of history which is full of both happy and sad memories for so many people.

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Well, 200 people smell ……it’s amazing how it’s minus 1000 degrees outside the plane but inside it’s hotter than high noon in the Sahara.

The Captain apologized again as everyone fanned themselves with the inflight magazine. We just landed at Berlin and as we taxi to the gate I am illegally using my Raspbery to do a blog thingy.

In a few moments I will peal my sweaty back from the plastic chair and take my smelly body through Immigration and customs and hope my suitcase isn’t in Siberia.

Goodness I smell bad………..the whole plane does……….Air Berlin…….more like Air France.

More later
Your smelly sweaty friend
Johann

I am sitting here laughing……out loud……someone is having a laugh……someone must know I am writing a Blog thingy…….the people in the two seats next to me are looking at me as though I should be wearing a straight jacket…….everyone else is moaning and complaining in various languages …….why…….well just 30 seconds ago we were welcomed aboard the flight by Helga the cabin attendant who told us in Russian, German and then English that Das Air Conditioning is kaput…………..I promise I am not making this up……Helga closed the doors and 200 passengers are about to fly in a plane for 1 hour and 10 minutes with no air circulation.

Scheisser

Aufweidersehen
Johann

If the old days of the Soviet Union are over someone forgot to tell the people at St. Petersburg Airport……….I once wrote that I promised never ever to fly into Miami as a cruise ship crew member again after the way I and others were treated……..however I would fly in their everyday for the rest of my life rather than ever leave through St. Petersburg airport. In fact, I would rather cover my head in honey and stick in a beehive then ever use this airport again.

OK, I know what you are thinking, here he goes complaining again about flying but so would you if you had experienced what we just have…….and let me say before I start that the only way to see St. Petersburg is to take a cruise…..you really do not want to fly.

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Two days ago I spent an hour in a small Russian plane that had spent the last few years flying sheep from one side of Cuba to the other………..it stank of sheep and if it hadn’t been for Anna Kornikova serving me Dietov Cokeov it would have been even scarier than it was. Also that day I had been driven around Estonia by Boris the Formula One bus driver and was inches away from a mad Estonian when he fired a musket inches from my head as you saw in the photo.

I have been scared before in my life…………… Like during the Carnival Destiny inaugural when I performed my first ever live TV interview where on CNN I was asked about the Gym equipment………..that’s as scary as it gets when on live TV someone asks you a question about something you know nothing about. As fear takes over you have two choices, one to look down at your shows and mumble like a school boy in front of the teacher “I don’t know” or waffle on and make a load of stuff up…………….having to waffle on live TV was very scary indeed.

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Vulga…………….no not me ……….the car. The Vulga is the famous car made in Russia and whenever you think of movies about Russia you see these big ugly black cars bumping past the Kremlin. However, having spent the last 9 hours I saw more BMW ‘s and Mercedes than Vulgas. It seems that St. Petersburg has lots of new rich people and they all want to show it off as much as possible. Then of course there is the uber-rich and that was evident today when we stopped outside a restaurant where a gold Rolls Royce Phantom was guarded by three huge bodyguards and three more stood outside the place………….it was a scene from a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

Today I fell in love and my hatred for Estonia Air and yesterday’s nightmare my hatred was eclipsed by my love of this amazing city. When I was here in 2002 on the Carnival Legend I had little time to explore because of my onboard commitments but today, I explored the Hermitage, Catherine’s Palace and so very much more.

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For your viewing pleasure:

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Going through Russian Immigration is like being part of a Tom Clancy novel. The flight landed on time and in one piece and after saying a teary farewell to Anna I walked down the steps into a bus and across to a huge grey ugly concrete building. We disembarked the bus and having already completed the Immigration paper that asked the usual questions as well as and, somewhat strangely, “Who do you know in Russia?”

Having filled out the form we then walked toward the booths. Immigration soldiers sat inside and giving them a friendly good evening I was met with a stare as cold as the building we were standing in……….still they were friendlier than the Immigration officers in Miami.

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We landed after just 30 minutes and although the mighty Saab rattled through the sky the landing was like sitting on a kangaroo’s’ back as we bounced down the runway. Air Estonia has a lot to learn about customer service but considering they buy their planes on E Bay I am not surprised.

Now, I am boarding a jet. There is good news and bad news. The good news is that it is an Airbus A319 – 100 and the bad news is the airline is something called POOCHNA ROSSIYA which is Russian for OH BUGGER Airlines.

Its time to head for St. Petersburg and who knows what next. Oh by the way, I now have AM – SAFE tattooed on my stomach which is the name of the seat belt designer on the Saab.

RRRPOFF
John