Monday, May 19th, 2008...3:37 pm
The Name Game
Today, I met a kid and when I did I instantly felt sorry for him……………..his name ………….was Becks……………yep Becks…………….Becks Edwards to give him his full name. I met Becks this morning when I visited an old chum I have not seen for some time. Peter Edwards used to be a musician with us and now thanks to the wonders of the facespace book tube thingy I found out he had married a dancer I also knew and they in fact lived in the same county as me.
So, I drove to see them and it was wonderful to catch up but the highlight of the day was meeting seven-year-old Becks. Peter is a huge soccer fan and as you can probably tell from his sons name his favorite player is of course …………Pele……………………just kidding ……………..it is of course David Beckham and rather than call the poor sod a simple name like David…………..they decided to call him Becks. I asked why ……………….. Peter told me that he hoped that Becks would grow up to be just like his hero. I took this to mean that he wanted his son to be a handsome and talented footballer rather than someone who will marry a posh stick insect with as much talent as a sock.
Young Becks certainly has some talent as his proud father made me watch his skills in the back garden. I was not blessed with any football skills and my talents with a soccer ball could only be compared to those of an Emperor Penguin who’s been at the Vodka ……….anyway, I watched young Becks and wondered if he would be subject to some ridicule about his name once he goes to “big school.”
I spoke to Heidi about this on the phone today…………she is back on Wednesday by the way and she reminded me of the time when one of our best friends had a baby and the husband called……………………there are rules, said Heidi, and these are they.
There are two things you must remember when someone rings to say they’ve just produced an offspring. First, and for no obvious reason, you must ask how much it weighs, and second, you must try not to drop the phone and burst into uncontrolled laughter when they tell you what name they’ve chosen is “Porsche” or in Heidi’s friend’s case……”Petal”…….. You are then required to say. “How very, ummmm, original ………… it’s a beautiful name.”
The annual list of most popular names shows that the Bible is still a source of inspiration for most, but this year in the UK the number one names Harry and Emily. But look beneath the top 10 and it’s a total lunacy where normal children are named after pop stars and footballers’ wives. And the middle classes are no better, going for increasingly ludicrous names. I mean, what kind of a name is Apple…………..Apple Paltrow………she has two kids now so she has a Pear!
We grew up laughing at Frank Zappa for calling his daughter Moon Unit, but today we’re naming our kids after remote African villages and Californian wines.
People have always named their children to reflect their aspirations — that’s why Ruby and Opal were so popular in the 19th century, and it’s why my Dad was named after Prime Minister Neville Chamberlin. I suppose it’s also why so many people coming from the Caribbean in the 1950s called their boy kids Winston.
This is no bad thing, being named after a prime minister or an actress your parents admired. But in the UK and North America people aspire to goods and services, and that’s resulted in a surge in popularity for names such as Armani, Chardonnay, Mercedes and Chanel. I interviewed a young lady on her honeymoon during the Marriage Show whose name was……………..and I kid you not………………..Ocean………….it didn’t take long to realise Ocean’s mum had grown up and still lived in the sixties and was probably still enjoying the effects of the episode when she named her.
Sometimes, I meet people on the ship whose parents have chosen names that are beyond comprehension. It’s usually the girls whose mums have taken normal names and then just added the letters A, N and A or S,H, A at the end……….Trisana, Wendyana, Latisha etc. I remember a lady I spoke to on the Carnival Freedom whose name was unpronounceable and obviously been chosen by her Mum and Dad picking letters randomly out of a Scrabble bag.
Before naming a child Wii or Dr. Pepper, it’s important to remember that the name you choose will have a huge impact on how the poor thing’s life will turn out. I went to school with a chap called Quentin Uppermill…………..Quentin…………….the poor sod stood no chance and was bullied by the schools hard men………….I am sure his probably in the fashion business and driving a pink VW Beetle.
I am dull and unimaginative because when I was little I had two goldfish. I called them One and Two so when one died…………I still had two.
Obviously Heidi and I have discussed names should we be blessed with child and to save arguments I have decided we should look to Iceland.
I admire the Icelandic system so much. Up there, your surname is your father’s Christian name with either “son” or “dottir” tagged on the end. So I would be John Nevilleso, Heidi would be Heidi Riadottir and George Bush would be ……….well George Georgeson.
Talking of great names………….here is our old friend and guest blogger Bubba. He has settled down in Alaska onboard the Carnival Spirit and he has sent this special report.
Back to Alaska! – Welcome to Glacier Bay
Well the Spirit has returned to the land of the Last Frontier. We have begun our Alaska season. We get to start it off with a bang because we are doing a special itinerary to Glacier Bay National Park and Preserve. We are only allowed to do just a few trips to this special place as the National Parks Service only allows a certain amount of ships in per season. The Spirit is lucky to have 3 trips this year. We start and finish our season on the itinerary. Which is…..
Wednesday - Vancouver, B.C. Canada
Thursday - At Sea Cruising the Inside Passage
Friday - The morning at sea, then arrive in Juneau, AK at 2pm till 11pm.
Saturday – All day cruising Glacier Bay
Sunday – Skagway Alaska 7am till 4:30pm
Monday – Ketchikan, AK 11am till 7pm
Tuesday – at sea cruising the Inside Passage
Wednesday - Vancouver, B.C. CanadaThe weather to start this cruise was pretty crummy. It rained pretty much from the start of the cruise right through Juneau…Which is to be expected It does rain a lot in Alaska so be ready for that. But what was the big disappointment was the fog. People don’t mind the rain so much, but when they can’t see the scenery pass by that is a disappointment. In Juneau, the fog did let up a bit, but the rain did not. It was more like Florida rain on this day. I think it stopped for about 15 minutes the whole day.
Things didn’t look too good the morning we were on the way to Glacier Bay. The fog had returned and you can barely see past the front end of the ship. I had to get up at 5am as I had to meet the Park Rangers who come on board for the day when the ship is in the park. They come out to the ship in a small boat, climb up a rope ladder with all of their supplies. They bring maps for everyone so that they can track the ships movement through the park as well as other souvenirs that help support the Park Service. I am there to meet and greet with them. Assist them with the things and bring them to their hospitality table and make sure their needs are taken care of.
We had three rangers sailing with us: Dave, Janine, & Emily. There was another woman with them named Julie who works for Alaska Geographic which is a non-profit group that helps the Park Service. After intro’s we went to the bridge to meet the Captain, and then I brought them to their table out on the deck under the dome on lido. They set up a few tables with maps and displays. Then went right into it with what they do best…answer questions…6am in the morning there are already people on the deck and the question of the day…”will the fog lift?” Ranger Dave says with confidence, “oh yes the fog will lift.” “I hope so,” I thought.
During the day the rangers take turns manning the tables. Wandering the decks, answering questions. Ranger Dave would also go to the bridge to make commentary on the PA on where the ship was and what people were seeing along the way. They also did a couple of presentations in the show lounge. One was a huge slide show with video and pictures all about the park. The other presentation was aimed at the kids, telling the stories. And sure enough, as Ranger Dave predicted, the further we went into the bay, the better the visibility. It was an overcast day, but these types of days are actually better for viewing the glaciers, because you can see the blue in the ice much better. Sunny days, you lose the blue tint.
It turned into a fantastic day. There were lots of animals to be seen. Whales, bears, seals, mountain goats and more were seen. Plus the Glaciers themselves put on quite the show. There was a huge amount of “calving” during our time in front of the Glaciers. Calving is when ice breaks off the front of the glacier and lands in the water below. It sounds a lot like thunder and it is very impressive. I happened to walk out on the deck right when a massive calving happened that put quite a wake in the water. Sounded like a huge thunderstorm, but what was even better was hearing the roar from the ship from almost 2000 people on one side of the ship watching it happen.
That’s pretty much what everyone does during their day in Glacier Bay. They pull up to some railing or balcony and they watch it all go by. There’s not much in the way of activities during the day. One the rules of being in Glacier Bay prevent it. And 2, nobody would go anyways…this is the reason you are there is to see the scenery. I would compare it to the day when a ship is in the Panama Canal. Everyone is just out there watching it all go by.
Me with Rangers Dave & Janine out on the lido deck under the dome. Yes that’s someone getting out of the pool in the background. The pools are heated when we are in Alaska.
Ranger Dave giving commentary from the bridge.
Our bridge crew hard at work with the Alaska Pilot in the center.
The view of the bay from the bow.
This the view from my balcony looking forward towards the bridge wing.
Looking toward the back from the bridge wing you can see all of the people out on the deck….can you spot Santa Claus in this picture? He’s on his balcony.
This is such a beautiful and special place.
Ranger Dave talking with Michelle who is our ship’s naturalist.During our entire season we carry the naturalist on board who does informative lectures on Alaska and its wildlife. When she’s not giving talks, she’s on the bridge looking for wildlife. If she sees something she announces over the PA. God help you if you are in the middle of lido with a cup of coffee and she announces “Whales on the port side!” Cause there’s a stampede of folks with cameras and binoculars in hand coming your and will run you down!
I have been to Glacier Bay twice before, and each time has been something different for me. I am so glad the Rangers were right in the forecast about the fog. It turned out to be an amazing day and I am glad our guests had a chance to see this wonderful place. We said good bye to our ranger friends around 5 pm and set sail for Skagway. I look forward to the end of the season when I have a chance to come back. Will check back in again later.
On the scene here in a Alaska - Chris
Thanks again Bubba and hope you find time between being a busy CD and eating Grits to write again soon.
Well, over in Genoa things are getting busy. Today, the first container of scenery for our spectacular shows arrived and here is a photo sent in by our Technical Director Preston Bircher.
I have asked Preston to send in some more photos soon. Well, it will be just two weeks before Heidi and I get back to work and arrive in Genoa. First, we go to Naples for three days and then to the ship.
My trusty raspberry will be with me and I promise multiple blogs each and every day.
I do have to promise and assure you of one thing………………I will…………….once onboard return to answering each comment and question. I had wanted to do this during my supposed vacation but ……………..well………………I never did……………and I am sorry I let you all down. I have replied though via e-mail to each and every comment marked URGENT PLEASE REPLY. Stephanie sends me these and they in turn are replied to by me so if you need anything……………let me know.
I see thousands of you enjoyed the interview with Captain Albert whose Veendam blog did not have the photos that are there now…………….have a look as Stephanie just slapped them on. Remember, have a look at his daily blog when you can.
Now, a few months ago Stephanie also set up a facespace tube thing page for me and I must admit I have been ignoring it. However, I did eventually find a way to see what’s there and it turns out I have 432 friends. Now, this 430 more than I have ever had my whole life. One of the pages is full of old photos of me slapped on by and old mate and ex Cruise Director Peter Gibbs…………….if you have not seen these photos please have a look but do so on an empty stomach.
Here is Stephanie to tell you all how to see these gems…………….Stephanie over to you.
Hi Everyone,
Just click here (you’ll be asked to login to Facebook). Once you’re logged in and have checked out the old school photos you can also visit John’s page by clicking here, join his group “John Heald is the Best Cruise Director in the World” or vist the official Carnival profile here. And of course please be sure to share your videos, photos and comments.
Thanks!
Thanks Steph and lets all thank her for the wonderful job she is doing keeping the postings as regular as I am after eating a big bowl of prunes.
From The Sunday Times
July 15, 2007
I am not a jealous man. I do not sit around all day coveting my neighbor’s Ox or Brad Pitt’s availability to choose any drop dead gorgeous woman on the planet to cuddle with.
That said, however, I fell to my knees and wept with envy and rage this morning when I opened my morning newspaper to discover that a man called “Steve” has won the lottery here in the UK………….he won…………..£9 million……that’s………….$18 million.
Now the reason I was wailed and cried like the Captain of the “Ignoreme of the Seas” when he discovered he would be docked next to the Queen Victoria, was that Steve had bought the lottery ticket by giving his wife the numbers he had chosen and telling her to buy the ticket…………….unfortunately Steve could not buy the ticket himself because he is serving five years in prison for robbery with violence.
The interview in the newspaper showed a photo of Steve before he got sent to prison and he looked like you would expect………….this would not be a man you would want to meet in a dark street or any street at anytime of the day……………yet here was this thug who had broken the leg of a security guard with a baseball bat while robbing a gas station just 8 months form being released and just 8 months from being $18 million richer.
The newspaper interviewed his wife and asked what he was likely to do with the money.
I think the interviewer was hoping that his wife would feel some compassion for the poor security guard who is probably walking with a limp………………but no……………it turns out that there is no compassion in this family and it also turns out that life is not fair ……………. because according to Mrs. Thug……………the first thing her husband is going to do buy……………is his dream car……………………..an Aston Martin DB9 convertible.
Putting this criminal-deranged bully behind the wheel of an Aston Martin is sad…………really sad.
This is Bond’s car……………it should be driven by someone who wakes up next to a gorgeous dark haired spy called Nora Titov who he had drunk Bollinger 67 with before having a night of passion. Then, after kissing her gently on her neck James jumps into his Aston Martin and drives at 100 mph so he can be on time to blow up an oilrig.
Instead, we have Steve…………….who will wake up after a night drinking cans of Budweiser, kick his wife who probably has a name like Absolute, Martini or Versace out of bed telling her to make his breakfast. Then our hero will drive his Aston Martin at 100 mph to make sure he gets to the pub by opening time to plan his next robbery with his sidekick Richard Head.
Life is mostly fair but at times it certainly is not. I can only hope that someone from Aston Martin will see that Steve Thug is not the person they want driving their super car and will find a real James Bond to shoot him in the face with a harpoon gun.
Honestly…………….Steve Thug in an Aston……………that’s like asking me to play the part of Mr. Darcy.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
42 Comments
May 19th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Hi John,
I can’t wait to meet Chris on the Carnival Spirit. My husband and I have been there before and it is the best of the best. Chris sounds like a wonderful cruise director. Thanks for having his comments included in your blog thingy.
Florence
May 19th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Hi John,
I completely agree with you about the names given to children now. Yes, you want to be Unique (I’ve seen that used as a name), but not so unusual where your child would be teased unmercifully. In the Jewish religion, children are named for people (usually family members) who have passed away. My sister and I were named after grandparents, as are my sister’s sons and her grandson, whose middle name was taken from a Hebrew word to combine both of his great-grandfathers (very confusing). But the names are getting exotic too - taking Hebrew words that may be difficult to pronounce.
Just give me plain old David and Emily.
Great to have Bubba’s blog back. A friend of mine is doing an Alaskan cruise this week, but I don’t know which ship. I’ll find out when he comes back. Wonderful pictures, but it looks so cold.
I want to change the subject. John, if you can answer, please do. But I’d like to hear from those who can answer me.
I just finished paying off my cruise in September. (Yippee). This will be my 1st time on a Spirit-class ship, and the 1st time I will probably be going to the Supper Club as a single person. I have a few questions:
1) What is the best day to go to the Supper Club (not the formal nites)?
2) Is it awkward for a single person to go to the Supper Club?
3) What is the customary tip? Is it 15-20% off the $30 reservation fee Plus the bar bill?
4) What is the customary tip for room service? Would you believe I have never had room service on any of my cruises? Normally we don’t see prices on the menu, so is there a set dollar amount for the tip?
I would appreciate any and all help. Thanks everybody,
Take Care,
Carol
May 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
John…..We were on the Liberty with you ,2006 I think…Rome to Florida…..There was a man with the funniest name possible that you met at one of the shows and for days all you did was talk about him and all we did was laugh….Do you remember that guys name????
May 19th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Thank God that your mate Peter isn’t in charge of naming Carnival vessels!!! By the way… how are Carnival ships named? I’ve always wondered that… how does one name a three-quarter of a billion dollar baby???
Great stuff from Bubba today! Thanks!! As much as the photos are enticing they also look cold… very, very cold…
Should Steve the Thug actually end up with the Aston I suspect that he won’t have it for long. With as little control as this twit seems to have I’m sure that he will shortly return it to kit form. Pity.
You bet! Our MOB is a true wonder! Stephanie is probably the busiest person in the world! She does a magnificent job. Thank you, Steph!
Pass along my howdies to the lovely Heidi!!!
Ciao, my friend!!
GregB
May 19th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
So, are you hinting about MAYBE a new baby coming soon? Did Heidi see Desperate Housewives last night, the Delfino’s had their baby son and named him MAYNARD! What was he thinking, she wanted Conner. Can’t wait till you start replying to emails. Linda
May 19th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
John, names take on a life of their own. I still remember being at a performance in Phoenix by the comedian Rev. Grady Nutt of Hee-Haw fame. he was speaking about this subject. He told of going to visit in the town of Canton, Georgia, and backing out of the driveway only to encounter painted on a mailbox across the road the strangest name he had ever seen. I leaned over to Nina and told her I knew what was coming, and sure enough he said, “Pink Swink.” How did I know? I went to Cherokee High School in Canton, where the sex education teacher was Mrs. Pink Swink! Either his name did not hold him back, or as is frequently the case, those who can, do, and those who can’t–teach.
Leaving on Elation in 1 week–got to get on the water!
Rus Franklin
May 19th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Howdy John,
It’s funny how names provoke different reactions in different places or times. You hear the name Quentin and have a reaction like I would have to the name Bruce. But for me, Quentin will always be a cool name. Believe it or not, when I was a kid there was a soap opera on TV that was all about vampires and ghosts and such. It was called Dark Shadows and there was a character named Quentin Collins who was easily the best looking man on the show, but more importantly for me, he was a werewolf! I would have loved it if my name was Quentin. Instead, I was stuck with the name Scott. The best I could do for a namesake was Scotty on Star Trek. I have always hated the diminutive of my name, so Scotty started out with a strike against him and when I found out his actual name was Montgomery Scott, well, it was all over.
Tell “Bubba” thanks for the comments. I especially like that he tries to describe what it feels like to be on the cruise. That really helps me decide which future cruises I should choose.
May 19th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
PRESS RELEASE
Review of the Carnival Glory, May 10-17, 2008
The ship is in MAJOR need of a paint job! The red on the funnel is very faded and there is alot of bare metal on rails throughtout the ship. Can you say DRY DOCK……not soon enough!!!
John, the Sheriff is very disappointed with you. As you stated previously, you would leave moonshine or other of the Sheriff’s favorite spirits in his stateroom upon arrival……..Not there.
The cruise director, Mark Price it appeared was mostly in hiding during the cruise. Did not see much of him.
Jason, the assistant cruise directoe was fabulous! The Sheriff recommends a promotion!!
The dress code in the dining rooms must be non-existent! People were eating dinner wearing a white tank-top T-shirt!! We call this wife beaters where I’m from. Upon speaking with Joseph, the Maitre’D, he stated once someone was seated, he could not ask them to leave the dining room. People were wearing blue jeans to the formal nights…Joseph was a big joke in the Platnium Dining Room. In other words, he was terrible!!
I’m afraid my Carnival Curise Lines is turning very GHETTO with the dress allowed during main dinner. I hope my Carnival can improve aand get rid of the K-Mart Of The Seas moniker. This was my eighth Carnival cruise……Yes, I am very concerned!!!
PLEASE change the Supper Club menu!! It has been the same since the beginning!!
Overall, Mama Sheriff and I had a great time. But, I am worried about my Carnival………………
John, please reply…..
Rosco P. Coltrane
Sheriff
May 19th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Hi John and Heidi,
Oh my gosh it’s been soooo long since I’ve been able to post! I have had lots of things happening in my life. Some good and some not so good. Things seem to be getting better though. I’ve been able to read all the bloggs and thank you so much for making me laugh during the bad times. I’ve loved reading about all your adventures while you’ve been on a vacation? Doesn’t seem like much of one. Thanks Bubba for all your entertaining entries as well. As for Mr. what’s his name and wanting an apology, I agree with all my fellow bloggers. Or as you sometimes like to say john, he should just bugger off! Anyway I just wanted to let you all know I’m still here with you. If you guys could, please keep Geoff and myself in your prayers. Hugs to all.
Leasa
May 19th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
John,
I have been reading about your diet plans and the treadmill purchase….just wanted to wish you luck…you can do it.
Your friend,
AJ Eckert
May 19th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Good evening Mr. Heald. You know people should first think first about a name for their young child but unfortunately they don’t. The one name that always comes to mind is the name Brick Wall. This young man’s father was a lawyer and the story told was that he wanted to have his son have a strong name so he named him Brick. Ordinarly I would say Brick would be OK but because his last name was Wall, he should have realized the problems that child would have. It wasn’t until he became the quarterback for his school football team that his name was important such as
” Brick Wall stopped the Raiders form Assumption” where his name became noriety. My parents just called me Paul but others called Paolo, Pizza( that was the nickname my friends gave me. Some friends I had. ) The early students
called me Mr. P.P. because of my name Paul Pietrangelo but had to be stopped quickly as you could understand. Even at the end they still called me Mr. P. Oh well, it was a name of respect from my students and even some parents called me that. Mr. Heald, you can call me anything but not Mr. P.P. Ciao my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Mr. P.P.
May 19th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
John, After looking at Bubba’s pictures I say again you will not see this Michagander on an Alaskan cruise. I see ice in the water and snow near the ship. I see all the ice and snow I need right hear in Michigan. I will still be taking all my cruises during the winter leaving the ice and snow behind me to go to the Caribbean a get some sun.
BIG ED
May 19th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
John:
We certainly understand why you have not started answering our posts. You are suppose to be on vacation!!!!
You have been kind enough to continue to blog when most folks would not have and we appreciate it.
I can’t wait to write a review about our Legend cruise. It may be more of a book than a review.
I will send you a signed copy when it is published!!
Linda (sad to be back home Mom of your friend DJ)
May 19th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Hi John,
I agree with Rus when he said names seem to take on a life of thier own. Some of the names I hear and see these days, I have to wonder what these poor childrens parents were drinking and/or smoking when they came up with that one. And what will happen to this poor child when it starts school. My son is named for my grandfathers… both had Biblical names. My daughter, I went through the baby naming books and found names that represented beauty and strength. And she grew up to be a beautiful, strong young woman.
I love Bubba’s blog today. I rember well our day in Glacier Bay. Fantastic. Not as cold as it looked either. I got some great pictures of the calving and even some of the wild life floating or swimming by. It was really a wonderful experience.
As far as Mr. Thug goes, I do hope Mrs. Thug files for divorce now and takes half or more of all his winnings so that he doesn’t have enough money to buy a new Aston after he puts the first one back into kit form!
Hello to Heidi!
Princess Barb
May 19th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Hi John and everyone,
My 23yr. old niece’s name is Windsor, a name which I absolutely love, but is kind of unusual. My brother did not name her, her mother did. There are alot of girls named Madison in my daughter Becky’s grade. The names these days are getting more unussual and…um… exotic; Soap opera names I call them.
To Maark Twain and a half: I remember Dark Shadows too. It was a cult classic, and Quentin Collins was my favorite. What a cutie and a hunk he was , wow!!! His name was David…something… I used to remember, now it will bug me the rest of the night!!
Hi to Heidi, and Happy Birthday to Nanette
SuefrmNarrowsburg
May 20th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Mr. Heald -
I formally issue a complaint regarding your blatant plagerism of blog topics - see http://musingsofjustjon.wordpress.com/2008/05/17/where-do-names-come-from
My legal team of Big Ed and Sarge Charlie will be in contact with your shortly to discuss appropriate compensation. I believe, at the very least, the unlimited use of three Category 12 suites on the Carnival Splendor for the summer season, including air fair to/from the port of embarkation is a suitable starting point.
Mr. MTSFPBLFTTNSFCFWAT2009BCINO
May 20th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Don’t worry, John.
Becks will fit in well at school - with all the girls called Chardonnay these days, they’ll just think he was named after the beer.
Nobody ever teased me about my name…..
Faithfully yours
Martin(i) Budweiser-Coors
May 20th, 2008 at 9:00 am
John,
Here is an email I received recently supporting the notion “it is all in the name”
Wal-Mart announced that sometime in 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine.
The world’s largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price - in the $2 to $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts but, “There is a market for inexpensive wine.”said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas,Bentonville. “However, branding will be very important.”
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name forthe Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
P.S. Don’t bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.
Cheers!
May 20th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Hi John and Heidi—
Well it wasnt karma that the thug couple won the lottery—that just isnt right !
Regarding names—we are of Irish decent . my son Sean (spelled correctly, not Shawn) and his wife named their now 2 1/2 yr old boy Brendan–I know it’s an Irish name, but man he’s gonna be teased !
Take care !
May 20th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Hi John,
Good luck on your diet and I’m sure you’ll make it a success.
I think it’s way to early to go to Alaska. It’s still winter there. We’ve been the end of June, middle of July and beginning of August and that weather was a lot better but we still had lots of layers on and kept a raincoat handy.
Glad to see they’re making good progress on the Splendor. Really looking forward to being on her soon. Still making last minute reservations for our trip and I know I have to speed it up a bit but it’s been busy. We’ve spent the last 3 weeks in Indiana staying with George’s mother to sell her house so she can stay with George’s sister. Even in this economy we were surprised that it sold in only 5 days. Now we have to be out by June 23 which is OK but now we have to find someplace to put the motorhome in July while we’re gone.
Glad Heidi is coming home so you can spend a couple of weeks together before you have to go back to work.
Linda
May 20th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Great blog! From my favorite movie (apparently yours too) Mr. Darcy!!!
May 20th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Hi John,
I know it’s been some time. I read as much as I can in the few free moments I get. Congrats to you for the John Heald page in the Carnival Connections. Love the picture with the coconut. Keep up the good work and I can wait until you sail on the Splendor.
May 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
suemuller:
David Selby played Quentin Collins in all his incarnations. Just Googled it. I remember watching Dark Shadows, to, but not often.
John:
Maybe Mr. Thug will buy you an Aston Martin as well if you’ll set him and the missus up in an owner’s suite on the Splendor in exchange. Don’t tell him what the dollar difference is and he’ll
probably never know!
ARE YOU AND HEIDI “EXPECTING?”
Your Pal,
mickeyspal (Myra)
May 20th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Sounds like a futuristic story. Can’t wait to go have a bottle of Beck’s on the Moon Unit… lol.
Big Ed,
That’s a big 10-4 coming from me as well. Here in Chicago, we get all the same crappy weather you do and ice and snow and cruise ships do not mix at all.
_BigMike
Blog Security
May 20th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Attn. Sherriff:
All you have are complaints. John doesn’t owe you ‘free’ anything. Only your attitude can decide if you have a great time.
May 20th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Hello John,
About the names, I’ve said for the past 20-25 years, if you want to be unique or original, name the baby John if it’s a boy, or Mary if it’s a girl. I was a little annoyed with my mother for years because all through grammar school, no one believed that Cheryl was a real name. “What’s your name, really, Sharon, Sheila, or Shirley?” Thank goodness there was a girl named Cheryl on the Mickey Mouse Club. AND she spelled it correctly. Many years later Cheryl Tiegs, Cheryl Ladd, and a few others came along. My father, who was from the south, pronounced it “Shurl”. His best friend thought my name was Shirley until the day he died!
I’m enjoying Bubba’s reports from Alaska. The scenery looks beautiful. To Big Ed: I went on my first Alaska cruise in May 1998, in the beginning of the season. Even there was snow on the ground out in the fields, it was warm enough to leave my jacket on the tour bus, even on the top of the pass in Skagway. The only time it was cold was when we were in Glacier Bay. The long johns were helpful then. But the next two times we went back were 4th of July week (2002 and 2005), and it was in the 70’s almost every afternoon. When we were at the glaciers, only a light jacket was needed. It really isn’t as cold as it looks. There were people in the hot tubs on all three cruises. The best was the three boys who jumped out of the pool to have their picture taken standing by the rail with Marjorie Glacier in the background. If I had children, that would have been my Christmas card!
John, I sympathize with you about the treadmill incident. One small concern, though. Did you realize that excersize affects your blood sugar? You might have stumbled because your blood sugar crashed and you got disoriented. Also, be aware that after you lose a chunk of that weight, they will probably have to adjust the dosages of your medications. And of course, remember that fiber is our friend.
Looking forward to Feb. ‘09
May 20th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane
Your recall petitions are being printed up as I type. Deputy Enos Strate will be taking over for you ASAP.
Jefferson Davis “Boss” Hogg
May 20th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
AAAH! That’s just not fair of Kharma. Does the UK have legal venues where the security guard he assaulted can take him back to “civil court” and seize some/all of his winnings? Do husbands and wives share assets in the UK, or is it a case of the wife bought the ticket so it can’t be touched since she wasn’t the one in prison?
Yes, a real 007 is needed in this case, to play a little ‘Casino Royale’ on this gent…
May 20th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
What’s in a name? I’m surprised that since you mentioned Apple you didn’t think of the other great possibility: Gwyneth Paltrow, whom I adore also has a son. Considering she is married to Chris Martin of Coldplay… I’m wondering why didn’t she name her adorable son “Aston?”
Then again thinking of Steve the Thug, the story is not over yet… karma is not always instant. They say many people who win the lottery consider it a curse. That much money often ruins lives. Possibly a crash in his future?
Too bad for the car!
Thanks to Bubba Chris for another great visit to Alaska with him. Breathtakingly beautiful!
Andrea (& her mom, Janet)
May 20th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Hi John,
I have been on a Alaskan cruise and it was great! HOwever, being from Michigan I have to agree that we see enough snow and ice and the warm weather is what we seek.
With that said: I am 100% Italian, so how I came to the name of Kathleen was always a puzzle to me. I expected to be Rosa, Maria, Josie, Concetta, Rosetta,,,and what ever. There was a song called “Ill Take you HOme Again Kathleen” and that is where I got my name. It has it’s benefits tho,because I can celebrate St. Patricks day since that name is soooo Irish.
Anything new on the Bloggers Cruise? I am anxiously waiting.
Ciao, Kathleen
May 20th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Becks, huh? That kid’s got a tough row to hoe. To be retired at the age of, what, 40 and be one of the richest guys around? Not to mention one of the greatest ever at your craft? Not sure young Becks will be able to achieve all that, but I hope he does! Love the blog, John. I don’t know you, just happened across it the other day. Keep up the hilarious writing!
And see what you think of these cartoons: http://spinachflame.wordpress.com/
May 20th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
TO BIG ED AND OREGON:
I would recommend that you read the ENTIRE posting I wrote instead of commenting only on the negative parts. Issues cannot be addrerssed and corrected unless they are brought up. I was not the only person on my cruise that had these same comments.
And Deputy Enos, yes, he is a Deputy and not the Sheriff says if you are going to mention his name, Big Ed, at least you can spell it correctly and get it Straight!!!!
Recall??? Please……………..
ROSCO P. COLTRANE
SHERIFF
May 20th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane,
See you can’t even keep your Deputy Enos Strate straight. Here is a couple links to get your Strate’s straight.
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0012555/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dukes_of_Hazzard
BIG ED
May 20th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
John:
The name game reminds me of a kid I went to high school with. His last name was Carr.
His name was Scooter and he had two brothers…
Ford and Motor.
You can’t make this stuff up…….
Linda
May 21st, 2008 at 10:19 am
John were you once the Cruise Directory on the CARNIVAL DESTINEY and went by the Nick Name of Gommer Pyle, I was on that ship it was my first cruise and the best one I was ever on, I just came back from my 9th cruise
May 21st, 2008 at 12:18 pm
To someone that was given a fairly common name … Mark….. Even the unique exotic names from yesteryear still seem a bit odd….
River….Leaf…..Rain…Sky…
To keep current perhaps I should change my name to the more fanciful Marc or perchance a slightly French variation….Marque
I have noticed a trend for name amalgamation whereby the fusing of two names becomes a new one….. Also trendy is the substitution of a Y for an A.
Mark
The Flying Dutchman
May 21st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Hi John/Heidi:
Great blog today from Bubba. I really enjoyed his pictures from Alaska. It looks absolutely amazing.
Steve the millionaire. Must be nice. I’m jealous.
Great hearing from you and looking forward to catching up with you as you slowly make your way to the Splendor.
Thanks for posting!
David
May 21st, 2008 at 10:11 pm
John,
What are people thinking about when they name their kids. I went to school with a girl named Ada. Not bad unless your last name is Booty. Then there was a guy I worked with at the nuclear plant. His last name was Girlinghouse. His parents named him Esaw.
Dave
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I don’t understand why you think Becks is that outrageous of a name. With all the names out there like Lexus, Porsche, Unique, etc. I think Becks is quite tame. Someone mentioned that a child named Brendan will picked on on I think that is a normal name that no one will even think twice about. Kids now are used to different and unique names and I don’t think they are fazed one bit by something different. The people who think like that are the older generation. I am so happy my parents didn’t name me Mary, Jennifer, Susan, etc. all the common names there were when I was in school. It was nice to be the only person with my name in class.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
SHERIFF :
Don’t pay any attention to the other people who don’t think you have a right to your opinion of your cruise. If you don’t let people know what they are doing wrong they will never correct it.
I know several people on this blog have commented on the enforcement of the dress code in the dining rooms. I just wonder why this affects you. You can dress up and enjoy your dinner if you want why do you all care what the other people are wearing. I kind of think it is their vacation too and if they don’t want to dress up they shouldn’t have to.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
John,
I’ve reading these late… I’ve been away on business and had no computer… ;-(
Names… I guess, I’m just not in touch, 19 years ago, I named my daughter Mary… and had she been a boy, it would have been Earl… Many friends and even nieces, nephews and their children have those “special’ names… I like picking those family names…
As for Bubba, a true southern name, his photos are outstanding. As much as I love Caribbean sunshine and surf… those cold, icy photos are quite inviting!! I love the cold! Especially if it’s temporary… Alaska just might be in my future… Have you ever thought of a Bloggin’ Cruise there??
And speaking of cruises… Anything new on the TA with tea at the Heald’s excursion??? I’m ready, willing, and able!!!
Regards to you and Heidi, and the incredible Stehpanie!!!
Lambie
May 24th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Hi John and Heidi, Just got back from the fabulous 5/10 Freedom sailing to Turkey, Greece and Italy! What an incredible fun voyage it was…had a fantastic time. And then I got all greedy and read 2 weeks of blogs in one afternoon. Now my sides are sore from laughing so hard and I dont know where to start on commenting so I will just limit myself to saying hello, good to be back, had another fantastic Carnival vacation and I hope your work with the Splendor goes well. Looking forward to hearing about the Godmother and inauguration! Gloria
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