Sometimes I feel I have become a grumpy old man especially since I have this wonderful forum to share my misgivings on.
This is the first of a few raspberry-flavored blogs for today as we begin our journey to Italy. Well, its 7:30 am and I am feeling as grumpy as the snakes that the late great Steve Irwin used to grab while they were enjoying a bit of sun before eating a baby Meercat.
The reason for my grumpiness is, for regular readers not going to be a shocker ………airports and airlines.
The disclaimer at the side of my blog thingy will come in useful today especially when I say things like Easy Jet are idiots and have no more right to call themselves Easy than I have the right to appear in a Calvin Klein underwear commercial.
Before I tell you why, you are probably asking “if they are so bad why does he keep flying with them?” …..Good question. There are two answers. Firstly, Easy Jet flies out of my local airport Stanstead and this means I don’t have to travel to Gatwick or Heathrow which are 2-plus hours further away…..Stanstead is only a 20-minute drive. Secondly, I am the eternal optimist and every time I fly Easy Jet I live in hope that they have discovered the words “customer service” in the dictionary and things will be so much better…………what an idiot I am……….they had not discovered the words customer service and were instead adopting a policy of…..Couldn’t Care Less.
There were 11 flights all leaving within an hour or so and this meant that hundreds of people would all be checking in at the same time…….that did not concern me because I had been sensible and paid for something called “speedy boarding”……have a look at this on easyjet.com.
Speedy boarding costs an extra $50 and you because Easy Jet has unassigned seating you are guaranteed a separate check in desk and priority boarding.
If only someone had told the employees about that. The check in area was in chaos and it looked like someone had said that Uma Thurman, Kate Moss, George Hamilton and Todd English were checking in passengers and they were naked.
I looked for the Promised Land that was the “speedy boarding” check in desk but there was no sign of this oasis. I would have asked a staff member but they had obviously all buggered off for a cuppa tea. Eventually Heidi saw the ticket desk and leaving me with the bags she went off to ask. I saw her face a few minutes later and it reminded me of the time I had accidentally put her favorite pair of jeans in the charity bag…..I knew she was not happy.
She had asked about the speedy boarding check in desk and was told that because so many passengers were checking in at the same time the desks were open to everyone ……..speedy boarding therefore took 43 minutes of standing in line and behind me was a kid who screamed the entire time right in my ear……..so far there was nothing Easy or Speedy about the service this airline was providing and I was as happy as a rabbit in Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen.
Eventually we reached the check in desk. Unfortunately Uma had left and been replaced by a young man called Ashi who was either extremely constipated or had discovered that Garfield his cat had peed in his bowl of Cheerios this morning…….I had expected an apology not someone with a face like a slapped arse.
I asked Ashi for a refund for my speedy boarding but without even looking up from his computer he told me that it was non-refundable. However, his eyes did meet mine and they were bright and shinning when he told me that my three bags were overweight and I had to pay £150…………I am not a violent man but Ashi was very close to having my foot speed boarded into his bottom………however, I paid the money and once I saw my bags disappear down the conveyor belt I left Ashi with the words “Have a nice day, try some Ex-Lax” …..He was…….unmoved.
It’s not the money you know — actually Carnival will reimburse me — it’s not the waiting, it wasn’t even the lack of organization…..it was the lack of care and consideration to us, the paying guests.
When we first brought the Carnival Liberty to Europe I made some fundamental mistakes during our debarkation of 2,000 guests on the various tours. During this time myself and the staff were there, listening and apologizing for the time spent in line……it made a huge difference ………….not to everyone…….there were still some very upset people……..but on the most part people appreciated that we were there and we cared.
Easy Jet are a no frills airline but I am sure Andy Harrison, the company’s Chief Executive, would have been truly embarrassed today to be the leader of an airline that could not have cared less……….maybe a blogger can forward this to him……I don’t want anything…..not even an apology……but I would like five minutes of his time so he can come onboard and see how with just a few smiles and some caring a difficult situation can be made so much better for everyone.
Well, it’s time to turn off the raspberry as we are preparing to take off………35 minutes late I may add which the Captain said was because of busy traffic.
Onboard we have all the elements of a disaster movie. We have a large group of teens, two men in Army Uniforms and yes……we have four Nuns seated across the aisle from me……..if Shelly Winters boards the plane I am getting off.
Another raspberry blog coming soon so please check by later or visit the speedy blogging line.
Cheers
John and Heidi
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
I don’t blame you for being upset – you’re right, it’s not the money, it’s the principle – okay, it’s the money too. They have no right to keep the “speedy” money if they’re not going to honor their contract.
I won’t say “Happy” flight, but be safe.
Till the next Raspeberry installment,
Carol
I hope you have a safe flight!! Can’t wait to hear what happens on the flight!! You always seem to have some crazy thing happen!!
John,
Why is the next bloggers cruise so short, with only two stops?
Ahhh John, your travels are just hilarious to state the obvious, but yesterday’s tale of Hong Kong amenities, and now we are flying with you again…LOLOL!!! It’s like, you provide us with laughter to add the shine to our day!!!
God Bless and safe travels for you and Heidi, and howdy to the most awesome Stephanie!!
Eva
PS – I flew to New Jersey last month…maybe Newark is importing staff from Easy Jet??? :>)
Wow, I get to be the first post to your blog today. What an honor, especially since I just started reading your blog recently.
John, Carnival needs to give the airlines lessons in customer service. My husband and I have been on 4 cruises in the last 9 years, three with Carnival and one miserable trip on NCL. 5 years ago, we took our children on there first cruise with Carnival for Christmas. Since we live in Pennsylvania our planes have to deal with the de-icing spray down before departing and apparently the planes have a de-icer on the wings to for inflight. Well ours was broken and so was the second one they installed. We sat in the plane for three hours before take off. When we arrived in Philadelphia to get on another plane, it also had de-icing problems, but his time 95% of the plane were people going on cruises leaving out of Florida. We were not a happy croud and the airline said there was nothing we could do. We arrived in Florida extremely late (but not too late) but Carnival was wonderful. They arrainged to get our luggage for us and immediately put us in a cab to the ship, to which they picked up the cost. My boys missed out on the ooohs and aaahs of arriving on the ship with time to spare, we were immediately shuffled off to lifeboat training, but our luggage was in our room before dinner so all was well. Carnival is a wonderful cruise line. We won’t go with anyone else!
John:
If Shelley Winters was to board the plane, I would DEFINITELY disembark the plane immediately. Ms. Winters has been dead for over two years! (May she rest in peace, I was honored to have met Ms. Winters a few years before her death)
There is little more frustrating than a service-oriented business failing dismally at customer service. But when a promised service is not rendered, as in your case with “speedy boarding,” it goes beyond frustration, and into fraud, in my opinion. The powers-that-be in that company need to hear your complaint and realize that giving an apology and a $50 refund for a service they did not provide is much less expensive than the million-dollar lawsuit some other customer is sure to file one day, if they do not address problems such as this — and quickly.
Okay…..I’ll get off my soapbox now!
Terri
Hi John/Heidi:
Gee, its like somethings never change. What a shocker!
How frustrating that these companies just don’t care about its paying passengers. I think they could learn a lot by coming on board for 5 minutes during debarkation day. I agree with you.
The fact that they wouldn’t refund your money for the speedy boarding and then charging you on top for your extra bags is just robbery. They obviously should apply the credit towards the bags,but what the heck do i know.
Looking forward to hearing more from Italy.
Keep in touch!
David
SLEAZY JET DID YOU SAY??? John, thank you again for the laughs!! You never cease to amaze me! You must be the —- magnet, since all things, good and bad, are drawn to you like flies on a pile of poop. Thank you for making light of everything and bringing laughter to our days. Be grateful for the nuns, for if the “jet” is going down, their “habits” might come in useful as a parachute. Safe travels to you and Heidi!
Sheryl
John, If Shelley Winters gets on you better get off, she is dead! You will be in Heaven or Hell if you see her! Probably Heaven though, she was a favorite of mine in her days, especially in the Poseiden Adventure and the Diary of Anne Frank. Linda
John,
Easy Jet needs some customer service lessons from Carnival!!! As do a lot of other companies… not just Easy Jet, but other airlines and business’ in general. I have noticed the last several years how customer service has gone by the wayside. It’s very sad! Anytime you are in a service related field the customer should be made to feel special…. yes it does make a difference!!! And Carnival does exactly that…. that’s why we keep coming back!
Hope the rest of your day goes better!
Princess Barb
Is it any wonder why the airlines are hurting…..Uncaring and indifferent employees….Planes that are packed so full there are not enough seats for the all of the passengers…and when you do get a seat….for most folks in coach class…that means sandwiched in like a sardine can.
Add to that flight delays and cancellations….surcharges and fees for having luggage that weighs too much or in some cases for having luggage at all (see American Airlines new and improved “stick it to the customer” plan)…food has been essentially done away with….snacks/cookies also no longer an option unless you pay for their prepackaged box snacks….soon the complementary beverage service may be dispensed with as well.
Those old adages…
“We love to fly and it shows”….
“Something special in the air”…
really don’t hold much value in today’s world
If Easy Jet were the last airline in the world I would rather walk than fly with them.
It doesnt take much to be courteous but they seem to have cornered the market in employing staff who couldnt give a damn. There is a TV series in England about Easy jet which the company co-operated with. It shows them and their staff in the worst possible light I can’t beleive it if they think it would encourage passengers to fly with them.
I can understand your reluctance John to fly through Heathrow or Gatwick. We fly out of Manchester and usually have to connect through one or other of these two and they are awful, unless we are going west to the states.
Liz and I have just returned from a round the world trip which involved 9 different connecting flights through the Far East ,Australia and the good old US of A.
Every flight was on time and as good as it gets, until we got back to Heathrow in the middle of the T5 fiasco. All domestic flights were cancelled and after an 11 flight from LA we were faced with a 5 hour coach trip back to Manchester.
Hope I am not discouraging anyone who will be connecting through London on their Splendour cruise. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time
Sorry I appear to have spelt Splendor wrong, its only Splendour in England !!
mmmmm……. Todd English, now he truly is delicious
Perhaps the time advantage flying out of Stanstead isn’t as great as one might assume given the delays and WONDERFUL service provided you. I’m bettin’ on Gatwick next time ’round…
One of the greatest pleasures of sailing on a Carnival ship is the patented Carnival smile that EVERY crew and staff member brandishes. The warm ‘good morning’s and ‘hello’s are music to my ears. I’ve read many reports of crews on other lines not being as friendly as Carnival folks but I bet that even at their worst they’re better than Easy Jest.
So, other than the flight… how’s Italy?? Lovely as always, I suspect!!!
To our Blogging friend, Jon, I hope that you’re family is managing to get through this difficult time. You and your are in my prayers.
GregB
Just so you know the speedy boarding thingy is now under investigation by some part of the UK government due to these sorts of things happening.
John,
Mr. Cheap said you should go through the boarding process we went through in Miami for the BC cruise in a scooter. We were told to go through the regular line, (even though we kept telling everyone we had a handicap room) which my scooter didn’t fit so I hit every pole just to get to the counter and be told I was in the wrong place and that there was a special handicap check-in area where we got to stand in line again. Then we were shuffled along and missed the boarding picture that really upsets me…and guess what….not one apology from any Carnvial employee….I do believe they all could have used some ex-lax also. So we know how you felt!
Princess Susan
disaster movie is hilarious, i laugh for hours just watching that movie -`~