Giving me a gun is the same as handing a man from Paris a bar of soap. We both have no idea how what it’s for, what it does and how we are supposed to use it.

So, when the hotel’s instructor handed me the shotgun, I, like Jean Claude holding a bar of soap, had no idea what to do with it.

Heidi had seen that our hotel was offering clay pigeon shooting and insisted that we have a go. So, yesterday evening before dinner we headed out to the field behind the hotel to shoot clay pigeons.

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I wanted to share this comment with you before I go to bed. I had received a request from this lady a few weeks ago and thanks to the Captain and crew of the Carnival Ecstasy  they were able to make her Mum’s dream come true.

I cannot go into the private and personal reasons as to why this cruise was so special but let’s hope that whatever difficult days lay ahead that Mum will always have the memories of this fantastic cruise vacation.

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Summer has come to England and we know this because we have had three straight days of sunshine and temperatures in the eighties.

When summer arrives the country goes mad. Men can be seen wandering the streets in their shorts with white milk bottle legs while the good news is that the ladies are also wearing very little. However there is a problem because finding a house or hotel in the UK with air conditioning is as difficult as finding a photo of a Jehovah’s Witness INSIDE a house……..no disrespect.

Our hotel proudly displays five stars outside it and those stars are well deserved for the food, service and although the rooms are luxurious they have no air conditioning.
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Sometimes you forget how beautiful your own country is and today after touring the heart of the English countryside I have once again been reminded.

So, I have a cunning plan — a trans-Atlantic cruise from New York to Southampton on one of the Cunard liners and then we hop on a Carnival ship for a British Isles cruise taking in the best of England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland with a stop over at my house for tea and crumpets.

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There are few things more beautiful than the English countryside ………maybe Cameron Diaz dressed as a cheerleader comes close but today as the sun shines it would be hard to imagine a more beautiful place. We are staying at a stunning hotel and arrived yesterday afternoon.

Unfortunately the rooms do not have internet access as they are designed to take guests away from the stress of everyday life which basically means they are too cheap to add this service. However the raspberry does work so I thought I would drop you a quick thingy.

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According to a newspaper report the game thingy I attempted to play this afternoon is the cause of all the worlds’ problems. The game is called Grand Theft Auto 5 and according to a report in the Daily Mail it is the sole reason for the all the crime on our streets today. This game had received such bad press…………………I had to see what it was all about.

Now, I may have mentioned this before but I hate flying ……………………… bugger ……………sorry about that I was on automatic pilot there…………let’s try that again.

I may have mentioned this before but I am useless at these game thingies however I having read that in some people’s mind murders have been committed because of a video game I wanted to see for myself.

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Believe it or not there are still those people who think that cruising is just for people of 70 plus and their parents. One of the stereotypes that go along with this misconception is the image of the nearly dead playing shuffleboard on deck before they have a cup of cocoa and take their afternoon nap.

Well, shuffleboard may be still a fun game to play but today’s older generation prefers something a bit more exciting.

Yesterday as I toured the Ventura I saw that the future of deck activities was already here and that came in the form of the Circus School located on the top open deck at the aft part of the vessel. This involves a Circus trampoline set where guests are strapped to a harness and with views of the Med or the Caribbean bounce, summersault and generally have fun and hundreds enjoyed this experience on the ship’s maiden voyage. Nobody more so I was told by the ship’s vibrant Cruise Director Neil than Mr. Stan Woods who at the age of 84 had the time of his life and caused crowds to gather to watch this young at heart pensioner on the trampoline……………….that for me once and for all dispenses with the shuffleboard and cocoa image.
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I will never forget my first experience of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. This cold taste of heaven had yet to be popular in the UK and when someone told me that it was simply the best I was tempted to say no thanks, I will stick to what I know and head to the Haagen Dazs stand.

However, thanks to the persistence of my friend I tried something called “Chunky Monkey” ……and fell instantly head over heals in love. Unfortunately my Chunky Monkey days are over however I had tried something new and I was so happy I did.

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She is home and as we speak she is puffing up the cushions and having a bit of a tidy but so far…….I have not received a bollocking and remain free of the doghouse.

Heidi flew home on Easy Jet so it will come as no surprise that her flight was delayed by 40 minutes…….maybe there was a cow on the line.

While it is common place to see the Police with guns in most countries I still cannot get used to seeing them here armed to the teeth.
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