Traveling. The scourge of the modern age. It’s time-consuming and it’s irretrievably boring.
In the olden days, no one wasted their lives by traveling from A to B, because B was too far away. Now, though, people are quite happy to spend 10 hours in an aluminum tube, watching all their veins clog up and to breathe in the gaseous remains of other people’s lunch……………………….. just to get a tan.
When you are on a plane you are achieving nothing and you are not enjoying yourself, so you are wasting the most precious commodity you have: time.
If you’re middle-aged now you only have 200,000 hours left, and are you prepared to spend 20 of those being squashed next to a toilet brush salesman from Iowa ………………… Plus another 20 waiting to be squashed while someone airport security remove your shoes and confiscate your nail clippers.
This is why I love ships…………..they maybe slower than a 747 but you can never be bored, never squashed and if you do meet the toilet brush salesman from Iowa you can buy him a drink………….or not.
However, like flying their options on which class of sea travel you desire. Flying in the front of an aeroplane does not make the journey pass any more quickly but at least you don’t have to spend 10 hours with your face in someone’s armpit. The jump in price from economy to club is vast but there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s worth every penny.
So does this apply to a cruise experience, I wonder? Is it worth spending the extra few thousand dollars…………………the answer after what I saw today is a huge and gigantic, mammoth-sized YES.
This morning I was invited to see some mock ups of the suites that have been designed for the new Seabourn Odyssey. Now, when I say mock ups I don’t mean that someone doodled them on a bit of paper or even that they used computer generation technology.
No, when I say mock ups …………….I mean that they built the exact cabins to size with the exact fixtures and fittings in the middle of a workshop by the pier where the ship is being built…………………..It was quite extraordinary………………..it was Epcot.
The mock ups were for Mr. Arison and the Pam Conover, the president of Seabourn, and others to see where these cabins and suggest any changes before they are built onboard. And, considering the fact that these are without doubt some of the most expensive and grandest suites anywhere at sea it is understandable everyone wants to make sure they are the best they can be.
I snuck in ahead of the inspection and therefore here are some of the shots of the suites ………………..remember…………….these were built in the middle of a workshop and are not on the ship…………….oh……………and I think I am right in saying…………these are the first photos of the suites published…………………how brilliant is that?
We start with a view from the balcony
Cabin mock-ups
Then the day got even better.
As a cruise director I have been onboard ships in various states of undress but never have I been onboard a ship so early in her life. Today though I walked up the gangway of the Seabourn Odyssey and aboard and into the remarkable world of shipbuilding. Find out more about the ship here:
http://www.seabourn.com/YourYachts/Odyssey/
If I was to tell you that the two main pieces were built in the middle of a field in Croatia you would probably think that I had forgotten to take my medication ……………. well…………..it was.
The two pieces were constructed in a field and placed onto a huge transporter which then floated them onto a dry dock thing and then onto…………….hold on……………this is something that needs to be explained properly by someone who knows exactly how 6,500 tons eventually arrived in Genoa, Italy……………….I will therefore stop waffling and I promise in the next few days we will have someone explain this properly…………..it will be worth the wait I promise.
In a years time the first newbuilding for the Yachts of Seabourn since Carnival Corporation took over will be ready. Today I was honored to have a look around and, although in the earliest of stages, I could already imagine the grand spiral staircase, the opulent dining room and the other features that will make this ship so unique.
Here is a first look at the Seabourn Odyssey.
The Grand Dining Room – a view of the Captain’s table
Will it be expensive?………….Yep………..Will it be worth the money? ………….. Well ………….the styling, the polished wood, the finest marble……… It will be like one of those stunning blue and white yachts that back up to the harbour wall in St Tropez except even the owners of these gorgeous palaces at sea will be looking on in awe as the Odyssey arrives.
This will be the Rolls Royce Phantom of ships. Step through the door of your suite and wade through an acre of thick pile carpet while your Steward or Stewardess pours the Dom Moet Crystal Krug with lashings of caviar.
Let’s be honest, most of us will not be able to afford a cruise on this most special ship.
As I walked around the mock cabins and as I wandered the steel decks I knew that this would probably be the only time I would get to be here.
I will cherish this day for a long time………… I loved the sensation that I was aboard something special, something unique………….I was aboard something that was designed to be……………….. “The most luxurious ship in the world.”
Five hundred years ago the world was a gloomy and miserable place. You had Kings and Queens chopping your head off every five minutes, your kids had the plague and you couldn’t buy a banana anywhere.
Today we are healthier and we’re much, much richer but in a survey in today’s Times only 36% of those questioned said they were “very happy” despite their Mercedes and their wife’s magnificent new breasts.
And today Bill Gates says that he is fed up with being the richest man in the world because “there’s nothing good that comes out of that.”
You may find this surprising. I mean, the Bill Gates foundation is the world’s biggest philanthropic organization with an endowment of $29.1 billion. So the man can go to sleep at night knowing his money is bringing health and hope to those less fortunate than himself. ………………….which is every other bugger in the world.
His generosity has not meant that he has been forced to live in a shack in the middle of the woods, hunt for rabbit and poo in a bucket. He lives in 60,000-square-foot, $100m house that is dug into the side of a mountain.
Inside, his shower curtain is made from the foreskin of a whale, the swimming pool is 60-foot-long stocked with real mermaids and there are 52 miles of cabling, some of which is used to view the leaves change colour.
So, I am thinking, what’s his problem? His mermaids are happy. His leaves are happy. And since his staff has their own sauna and indoor pool, you can be assured they’re happy too. Yet, the man at the centre of all this said today that he is not.
I’m not surprised at all. First of all, he has to get up in the morning and realise that he “certainly is no Johnny Depp” And deep down, he’s still a computer geek, which means he has the personality of a block of cheese.
It must be hard for the uber rich. It’s almost as though they can’t be bothered to be interesting or memorable because what’s the point?
Most of us try to light up a room for two reasons: either to meet women or it might make us richer. Money and rumpy-pumpy are the engines powering everything we do. But if you’ve got more than a billion in the bank, chances are you can bounce around on top of whatever Russian model takes your fancy from now until the end of time. You don’t need to be funny, or passionate. You just need to yawn, give her something made from diamonds and enjoy the night.
However, the last two days I have been around lots of very rich and powerful men who all look anything but bored and miserable. I stood yesterday and today on the outskirts of Micky Arison who you could see still had the passion and the love of the cruise industry pulsating through his veins.
His family continue to give so much to those less fortunate as I wrote in a blog a few months ago (“The Christmas Spirit”) yet with his passion getting stronger every day he still has something worth getting up for in the morning…………….Bill should be so lucky
More in a moment but first the news.
The crew started moving onboard today and by the end of the weekend the majority will be in place. Heidi and I move on Saturday and quite honestly …………I cannot wait. I need to get unpacked and settled and be close to my colleagues. Heidi and I finished the Carnival Capers for the two- and three-day cruises and just now finished the eight-day as well. Tomorrow we start on the 12-day schedules.
Meanwhile the arrangements for the naming ceremony are in full swing. I will reveal details next week but what I can tell you is that our Godmother Myleene Klass seems very excited about this honor she has been bestowed.
Have a look at this segment from Hello Magazine.
http://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities-news-in-pics/08-06-2008/48233/
So, back to the boring life of the trillionaires who have no reason talking, or listening, to other men because you’re already much richer than they are and all they want is some of your money. And you can’t be bothered with any of them or their constant groveling because a 15-foot supermodel has just walked into the room and you’re thinking of buying her a Caribbean Island.
It gets worse. There are two ways of getting rich. Either you make the money yourself, or you inherit it. Neither will make you happy.
The fact of the matter is this. It’s very hard to be friends with someone from a different income bracket. They want to go on vacation to Orlando. You want to go to space. You watch Gordon Ramsey on television. They had him round to cook for a private dinner party. And you paid him so much he agreed to serve the food himself………. while dressed as nun.
See what I mean? Well, now put yourself in Bill Gates’ shoes. He’s the richest man in the world. That means he can’t be friends with anyone.
The rest of us should just cheer up. ……………it could be worse………….you could be Bill
I leave you with one last photo
The Grand Celebration prepares to depart from Genoa
Goodnight,
Your Friends
John and Heidi
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
I’ve said it time and time again on Cruise Critic… it’s not the destination, it’s the voyage… I couldn’t agree with you more, John. The best way in the world to travel is by ship. When was the last time that anyone got off a airliner with a new best freind… someone who will be a friend for life? Never, I expect. Such things happen daily on board ship.
With less than 200,000 hours left in this world I’ll gladly trade 10 hours in an aluminum tube for 168 hours on a ship…
I have to take a bit of umbrage with your description of computer nerds… having the personality of a block of cheese… I’m a computer nerd, I guess, and a retired go-fast, set-your-hair-on-fire pilot. I HOPE I transcend the block of cheese phase…
The Odyssey is going to be GORGEOUS. I’ll never sail her but I hope that once she’s commissioned you’ll be able to provide us common folk with some pictures…
Thank you so much for the last picture. The Cele is off to a new life, providing memories and smiles for hundreds of thousands of new fans. Well done.
Cheers, mate!!!
Mach
Hi John,
Just catching up on 8 or 9 blogs. Love the videos and pictures. It’s wonderful seeing the different ships and hearing about what they’re like.
As for Heidi wanting a dog, you both MUST check out a flat coated retriever. I never heard of one til we adopted one nearly 10 years ago. Unfortunately, we lost her while we were on our cruise the week following the Blogger’s Cruise. She brought so much joy to our lives. I understand she was very representative of the breed, and when we are up to having another dog in our family we will definitely get another flat coat.
Not sure what the cost of a pure bred is but there are rescue organizations out there where you might be able to find one for free. They aren’t too big, not too small…very friendly yet protective. Anyway, I’m sure everyone feels similarly about their favorite breed. Just another option you all might want to consider before making a final decision.
Thanks, as always, for the great stories.
The Kilmartins
John,
thank you for keeping me in the cruising spirit between jaunts!
I am off in a few hours to introduce my MOther In Law and my 3 year old to the addiction we lovingly call cruising. DJ does not even really know what a “cruise” is but she is delighting in telling everyone she meets she is heading on one, we have showed her Camp Carnival on the Paradise thanks to Carnivals web site and she is ready to move in for the duration!!!!
I sincerely hope my Mother In Law enjoys the Paradise 1/2 as much as her son did when I dragged him RELUNCTANTLY up her boarding ramp 8 years ago – he fell in LOVE – with me and her!
Have a wonderful weekend to you and all the bloggers, we will literally be in Paradise!
Jennie
John:
My Mom used to say a lot of money does not build character…it reveals it!
If you are a boring miserable yuk when you have $10, then you will be a boring miserable yuk if you win $10 billion.
I vividly remember as a child (probably about 10 years old) bringing “Christmas” to a poor family that lived in our town. They lived in a shotgun house. The house was sparking clean. They had no mattresses for the beds. They slept on entwined rope that ran through the side slants of the bed frame. But these “rope beds” were neatly made up with handmade quilts for warmth. No pillows.
Even as a child, I understood that there was no “look at what we are doing” feeling on our part and no “embarassment for their circumstances” on their part.
There was only the pure joy in the face of a little 5 year old boy that got the Cowboy boots he wanted for Christmas. And the handmade Christmas ornament that hung on our tree from them for years.
This wasn’t “someone bringing them something”…this was a gift exchange. Food, clothing and Christmas for this family in exchange for a handmade Christmas ornament that reminded us of that joy for many Christmas seasons to come. This little 5 year old boy knew HE had given someone something very special for Christmas. His gift was the look of pure joy.
43 years later, I can remember it like it was yesterday.
There is not any amount of money that can buy that!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
A person’s richness is not measured by the amount of money s/he has in the bank, but rather by the quality of the friends that s/he has.
— I doubt I am the first to say this statement
Hi John,
Interesting blog…. it’s true. Money cannot buy happiness. Happiness is somthing that comes from the heart. It comes from knowing who you are and what you truley want in life. It comes from having dreams and goals and sharing. It comes from having a passion for living. Life is what we make it. We can choose to love life or be unhappy with the person in side. It’s our own choice.
Good luck with the move on Saturday. Maybe you could share some photos of moving day!
Hello to Heidi!
Princess Barb
John,
First of all thank you for a even better look at the new Grand Celebration. I hope she continues to please her guests with every voyage. As far as Bill Gates is concerned I’ll be more than happy to be his friend, and I don’t want a cent from him. But then again I can’t be running around with him as my wingman that would be like using Allen as my wingman. Speaking of Allen how is our friend doing of late? As Host Mach from Cruise Critic stated before he is willing to spend 10 hours on a plane to get 168 hours on a ship I have to agree but I would love to spend even more than 168 hours on board. 6 Months or so sounds good to me. So I know many people have been wondering what the plan for the next bloggers cruise is so far mainly the pre-cruise event and information. Any chance on a hint or two soon ? Heidi get the dog, then name it John so the dog can go to the dog house instead of John. Keep up the great work mate, I hope they are feeding you something decent on all these ship tours.
Kevin
John, that room is gorgeous. But you know Don has said more than once, your room is only a place to sleep or shower and change clothes. There are too many things to do and too many things to see to be lounging around in the room on a cruise ship. I agree with him.
I saw the robes hanging in the closet. Are those the ones that Big Ed ordered, the ones size that fit all including him? lol
Carolyn
The ship with all its amenities looks good, but for me, life doesn’t get much better than sipping a cool one at sunset while sitting on my balcony of a Carnival ship.
John,
Keep up the video blogs Big Mate. It would be really cool to see a tour of the Splendor. If I were as rich as Bill Gates, I would keep my mouth shut about being unhappy. You can always have Carnival send him an invitation to sail on one of the ships, that might cheer him up.
Cheers,
BigMike
Blog Security Director
Good morning John & Heidi,
Thank you for the insight into the new Odyssey. What a Suite life! You look good sitting there.
As for Bill Gates & his billions – I think the country’s economy would be a whole lot better if he gave every taxpayer at least $500,000 (or a lot more). He can afford it and he could probably write it off as a charity. Lots better than the so-called stimulus package we just received.
Happy moving day. I know both of you will be very glad to be settled and in your new home away from home (after unpacking of course). Let the fun begin.
Ciao for now,
Carol
John – speaking of you and Heidi moving into your new “digs”, I think alot of your avid readers would be interested to see photos of what some of the staff living quarters look like on a ship. Are there specially designed cabins for the Captain, cruise director, etc., or do they look like the cabins that we passengers stay in?
Hi John & Heidi
thanks for another great blog, I must get on now,if my husband knew how much time i spent reading your cruise blog and sorting out future cruises I think he might be a bit worried about my mental state! Anyway not going to start nagging you about the naming ceremony(I’ll start that in a couple of weeks) but can you find out why the Splendor in not showing up on the supper club pre bookings? Also our docs are still incorrect its now been two weeks since i last heard anything ( i have sent a couple of emails and over a month since the problem started) and was told it was an IT problem as Dover has not been set up as VIP yet, maybe you could chase it up as i am sure i cant be the only platinum holder.
Good luck with your move on sat, bye for now.
Michellex
Hee hee!
The Philosophy of Mr. John Heald. I love it!
How cool to get a peek at the newest Seabourne. We’re actually considering splurging on a Seabourne cruise… just once.
About traveling via ship vs. plane: On our first repositioning TA cruise we were surprised at how many people were traveling from their North American home to their European home. It was actually cheaper to enjoy that long cruise than endure a long flight. Instead of a day of torture they got 12 days of pleasure. Plus no penalties for extra luggage. Pretty smart, eh?
Hi John/Heidi:
What an amazing blog today. The Grand Cele looks nothing like her former self.
I love all the pics of the Odyssey. You can definitely see their vision and it looks like its going to be one heck of a vessel.
I think its so cool that they could mock up the staterooms. You would never know from the picture that it was in the middle of a warehouse.
Pretty exciting that move-in day is quickly approaching. Looking forward to hearing more as you get settled back aboard.
How’s the diet going? We have not heard much about your progress.
Have a weekend and good luck.
David
We enjoyed the description of your tour of the Odyssey and what Seabourn expects its latest ship to become. The photographs show a vessel that is much further along than we imagined. As you said, the finished product will be spectacular.
We booked a cabin on the Odyssey for a cruise in January 2010. It will be a once-in-a-lifetime celebration of two 70th birthdays, a 50th anniversary and a retirement. We’ve never been disappointed and are certain Seabourn will help create memories that will last a lifetime.
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Dear John – just read your blog on cruising, rich folk etc and it gave me a really good 0700 am laugh up here in the chilly Blue MOuntains of Australia!! I now realy really want to sit on the outside veranda of any cruise ship with a glass of whatever…! angela