My bottom hurts………..thanks to one of the two most uncomfortable seats I have ever sat on. The first was a few years ago at my local cinema. Heidi had dragged me kicking and screaming to see Cold Mountain…………not the Brokeback version but the one with Jude Law.
The seat was so hard and my bottom had not suffered that much since it was beaten with an old slipper by my High School Headmaster who had discovered Sid Ruse and I putting superglue on the toilet seats.
As we were treated to yet another smoldering shot of Jude Law mincing his way through the swamps of North Carolina I spoke – not for the first time – out of my bottom and the words were loud and clear “Bloody hell, get on with it .”


























