All those pix you’ve been sending of the ship were beautiful, but they looked so sad with no people in ‘em. Now lady Splendor will finally look like a real live Fun Ship!

*****
“Give me the choice of a rectal examination or having someone play with my eyes for an hour………”

Tell you what, John. I’ll take all your eye exams for you if you take all my rectal exams.

It sounds to me like you’ve reached that magic time of life when Mr. Presbyopia moves in to stay like your deadbeat brother-in-law. Welcome to the club, John!
Since you probably will need to read things on stage, you’d better get bifocals. Or, maybe those half-moon glasses like Professor Dumbledore in the Harry Potter stories!
In any case, don’t let it get you down. It’s not a disease, it’s just proof that you’ve lived a while. A long, long, while! (Hee hee, just kidding!)

*****
“Now, the front rows had been provided with headsets that received a live translation in English however back in the cheap seats all I could tell that Mr. Minister was very hot or he liked doing an impression of a windmill as he spoke.”

Here’s an idea to pass on to the engineers, John. How about a special number that anyone with a cellphone can dial to get the English translation anywhere they sit?

Thank you for keeping us updated with smiles, chuckles, and tears everyday….and I thought my husband was the only one who had untouchable eyes….yes, I’ve seen your pain.

Karen
a Coastie wife!

I’m glad you’ve decided to go the salad route. Have you tried the “Honeymoon Salad?” . . . “Lettuce (Let Us) Alone with No Dressing.”

Your description of your eye exam, particularly the odor of the man’s breath, brings to mind an exam I had while I was in the service.

I was stationed at Bethesda and scheduled to have my eyes examined, as my prescription seemed to change every fifteen minutes or so. So, I showed up and was introduced to a quite attractive female optometrist. She proceeded to do all the normal stuff – what was most memorable was that, while looking at my retinas, she was blowing in my ear!!!

Now, mind you, I was a hormonal 19 year old at this time. When an attractive woman, even one who is an officer, blows in your ear, certain things happen.

Needless to say, that eye exam was the most enjoyable exam I have ever had in my entire life.

Jon

P. S. – get the glasses!!! In particular, all the work on the computer is killer on the eyes. I have glasses that are solely my reading prescription for use on the computer. Otherwise, headaches galore.

John, quick fix – no pain. You can get a pair of magnifying glasses for reading (cheaters). Relatively inexpensive, no prescription – check out the magnitude you need at the display rack – easy peasey.

See you July 13th – we’re gonna have a blast!
Mrs. Martin -
the no longer squinting English teacher