When you buy a washing machine, does it ever cross your mind that the water could be injected into the drum a little more quickly, or that the spin cycle could be turbocharged in some way? No? Well what about your lawn mower? Ever thought of chrome plating the blades or supercharging the engine and adding a spoiler on the back?
There is a very good reason why you leave your household goods alone; because you have a sense that they’ve been designed to be as good as possible, and that if you start tinkering you’re going to make them worse.
Yesterday, while I was visiting the shipyard I did something which looked ridiculous……….I tried to drive………………a Smart Car.
Now I don’t know if you have seen these things in North America yet but here in Europe they are the must have accessory and in Italy they are all the rage. And, not just with the women but with the men as well which considering Italian men have egos the size of a Smart Elephant……………that’s surprising.
However, the First Officer Angelo had one and I couldn’t resist a drive ………so………here is the blog thingy’s first ever car review.
Over the past century there have been a handful of ships that stand out as especially innovative, brilliant and important. If they were paintings, they’d be in the Rijks Museum. If they were animals, Texans would have their heads on a wall. These are the Shakespeare ships. The Mona Lisas and the Mercedes 300 SL – Gull Wing………..these are Mozart ships.
And sitting at the very top of the list is of course The Queen Elizabeth 2. People in cream turtleneck jumpers and blue blazers festooned with shiny gold buttons and wearing sensible shoes speak in reverential whispers about how the engines were cast with metal from a hundred Rolls Royces and how its sleek design was way ahead of her time. They talk of tea and scones in the Queens Room and dancing the tango before dining on Peacock and chips, many are so overcome with emotion; they have to go to the toilet.
Sunday, The Perfect Day to Introduce The Godmother of the Carnival Splendor
June 8, 2008 -
John Heald -
36 Comments
Most nights, like most people, I shovel food into my mouth with one hand while using the other to stab away at the remote control, desperately trying to find something on television that isn’t about penguins, swearing Chefs or bunch of idiots eating a slug sandwich while having a dozen scorpions shoved down their underwear in Fear Survivor Brother Island.
However, as I sit here in this faceless hotel with its revolving doors and Fawlty Tours style service I find myself missing Sunday lunch…………..a true British tradition and one my family has upheld and one Heidi and I continue when we are home.
As Britney once said in a rare moment of sobriety “whoops, I did it again.”………..just replace the whoops with the word bugger and you have the perfect quote to describe my morning. I did indeed do it again and once more dear friends goeth I into the doghouse.
Heidi had spent the yesterday evening completing the entertainment staff schedules for the 2-day and 8 day cruises and placing them on our new lap top dancer computer thingy. Well, this morning why Heidi was doing her starfish impression I turned Mr. Sony on and apparently as I did so it deleted Heidi’s work from the previous night. Now, I have no idea how I did this but the result is two hours of work is gone forever and I am in the doghouse yet again. I was going to mention that maybe she should have saved the work etc but it was difficult especially as I needed to concentrate on dodging the various objects that were being flung in my direction.
While I find it relatively easy to sit here and blog each day to all of my mates out there, sending photos and video to Stephanie to post …….well that’s another matter.
The theory of a digital camera is really impressive. You take a photo and then download it into your computer. And once you’ve done that the world’s your oyster.
You can e-mail it to a friend, alter the size of your wife’s breasts, print it out, blow it up, cut it down. There is no end to the possibilities. However, there is no beginning either because the procedure is so bloody complicated . First, there’s the camera itself, which takes the shot either 10 seconds after you press the button or just after the subject has died of old age, whichever is sooner.
