So, Wimbledon is over and now the world awaits for the Chinese to clean their sky of dirt and smog and prepare for the Olympics. As I may have mentioned in a previous blog …………I am not a huge fan. However, I love skiing…………..actually……………………I love watching skiing……………..actually I hate skiing but love watching others do it for me and that’s why I love the winter Olympics.
The Men’s Downhill and the Men’s Ski Jumping was always the highlight as some well spoken chap in the commentary booth, talked us through the brilliance of some tanned and muscular young man from Austria.
You’d marvel at how he made it look so easy, his skintight suit revealing every muscle and joint and you could easily tell whether he was a cavalier or a roundhead.
But let’s be honest, all of us, really, were waiting for the falls.
Oh golly…………….. the falls. They were the best accidents a man can have without actually exploding, and they always went on for hours, a tangle of flesh and tanned ego bouncing down the mountain until it crashed into the crowd in a colorful explosion of blood, Gore-Tex and snow.
And better still, you knew that after the paramedics had collected all of the limbs and hosed most of the blood off the piste, you were going to get it all over again in super-voyeur slow motion.
I used to watch Horse Eventing for the same reason. Not because we want to see some thoroughbred score a clean round but because we hope it will brake suddenly, sending some pompous young brat Called Hayley through the fence in an ear-splitting jangle of splintered wood and bone.
Skiing, however, has always been the best because the contestants are going so fast, and they are protected from the forces of nature by nothing more substantial than a big condom with a number on it. .
So, a single half-hour of skiing provided more hysterical laughs than a thousand granddads falling of their bikes into a river on America’s Funniest Videos.
So, as much as I hope the dedicated training these athletes have endured win those medals, I also hope we have one or two special moments like the skiers give us. Lets hope as the Bulgarian lady pole-vaulter springs toward the bar her pole snaps sending her flying through the air where she is hit by a hammer thrown by a blind Belgium hammer thrower who then stumbles onto the track causing the entire cast of the Men’s 10,000 meters to crash into each other ……….all except the slightly overweight competitor from the small island of Fiji who wins their country’s first-ever gold medal……………that’s an Olympics I would watch.
It was while I was chatting with esteemed USA TODAY writer Gene Sloan and his beautiful family that the Brightstar message rang clear and true over the PA system. The word “Brightstar” sends shivers down my spine as it means someone, somewhere, needs medical attention and needs it immediately. Such was the case last night.
Now, obviously I cannot discuss details but I can tell you that the guest was in need of assistance and while our unsung heroes of the ship’s medical department did what they do best, the captain turned the ship back south and we headed back to Spain. In fact it was Del Portivo, a Spanish City with excellent facilities. And so, at 1:30 am I stood on the bridge with the Captain to assist in the operation. A Spanish Coast Guard boat collected the guest and his Mother and they were transported quickly to the hospital. Meanwhile, we began our journey back north to France.
I mentioned the family this morning at the debarkation talk and I know the thoughts and prayers of everyone onboard are with the family. I will let you know as and when I can how he is doing…………………please think of him tonight.
The weather has gotten colder again but fortunately the Carnival Splendor has a magic button that when you press it the roof closes. Indeed, it was closed today and this gave the guests chance to sit and enjoy the movies, the live band in a comfortable temperature ……………..money very well spent.
Well, as I mentioned I gave my first debarkation talk this morning. Although the information I gave was clear and precise I think the audience were a little tired. This was probably due to the movement of the vessel with 35 knots of wind and us at full speed of 22 knots. Also, we gained an hour last night as well which meant that everyone was a little sleepy.
However, the crew was well received at the end when they all joined me on stage. Here is a video shot of me backstage and something of the crew as filmed by Tom.
So, overall I think we have done well this cruise. Yes, the TV system is as complicated as learning to speak an Asian language and still has more problems than your average guest on the Jerry Springer show. Yes, WaterWorks was out of order and yes, we had one or two service areas that we need to improve……………but for a first cruise……….I think we did brilliantly and everyone……………….at least the many I have spoken to have told me of their total satisfaction…………..lets see what the comment cards bring. Anyway, the crew has been amazing and their hard work and efforts should be applauded.
It seems like you all enjoyed the video of me and Emmit Lee Tuttweiler Jr performing. I hope to bring you many such videos during the next few weeks and my thanks to Emmit for sharing his talent with you. Emmit can be found performing at The Waffle House in Macon, Georgia on Thursday nights.
My goodness, have you seen Bill Zydeococruisers web site………..wow……………….what fantastic photos. I have spoken to Bill this cruise and next week I hope time allows me to spend some more with him. Meanwhile, have a look at his amazing photos. www.zydecocruiser.com…
Thanks Bill, it’s brilliant.
While I was having a meeting with the Captain and Senior Officers this morning to discuss how everything is going across the way in Japan the G8 leaders of the most important countries in the world…….and France…………were meeting to discuss something a little more important…….the world’s food shortage.
We are told that the Atlantic has fewer fish in it than Gerry Cahill’s backyard, so we have to import fish……. from China. And you may think this is fine. Your underwear comes from the Far East, and your mobile phone, so why should we not import our Snapper and Grouper from those industrious little fellows on the banks of the Yangtze?
I’ll tell you why. Because China’s population is growing, too, and soon they won’t be able to send us their fish because they will have been eaten before they get to the docks.
The G8 are saying that they can feed 6.5 billion people. But it will not be able to feed 7 billion or 8 billion. And certainly not if, Al Gore suggests, Canada stops growing food and turns over its prairies to the production of biodiesel.
Maybe my mate Al is right and my Range Rover is causing the world to warm, but we’ll never know because we will all have starved to death long before anyone gets the chance to find out.
Obviously, one solution is to burn the entire Amazon rainforest and turn this rich and fertile place into the world’s pantry. But unfortunately this is not possible because Sting and Bono will turn up on 60 Minutes with some pygmy who’s sewn a saucer into his bottom lip, arguing that the indigenous tribes are suffering because of the West’s greed. And never mind that the pygmy is wearing a New York Yankees shirt and Baseball cap.
Another solution is that we all become, with immediate effect, vegetarians. Sadly, however, this doesn’t work for people like me who only really enjoy eating something if it once had a face and legs.
I fear, too, that if we all became vegetablists, the world would face another major threat ………… pollution…………imagine the smell if everyone in the world just ate cabbage.
It all looks bleak. But don’t worry, because I have a suggestion. This idea came to me during our meeting this morning. I know I should have been listening to the Chief Engineer telling us all about the fuel he loaded on in Genoa but instead I was lost in my own little (or big) world of feeding the planet.
At the moment, we eat only a very small number of things. Cows. Pigs. Potatoes. Broccoli. And that’s about it. So what I propose is that we spice up our lives with a bit of variety.
The National Geographic Channel is forever finding weird and unusual creatures in the deepest parts of the ocean. The narrator tells us how they can see down there in the murky depths and how they have sex. He tells us where they live, how they raise their young and how their razor sharp teeth or poisonous spikey things kill their prey. But they never tell us the most important thing: what they would taste like cooked in a white wine sauce and accompanied by some sautéed potatoes.
Why not? Over the years, I have eaten shark, snake, crocodile, guillemot, whale, puffin and a whole moose. They all tasted like chicken, so it’s a fair bet donkeys, kangaroos, Meer cats, sloths and camels would, too.
This brings me on to the final solution. There are many people who are greatly concerned for the plight of endangered species such as the tiger, the panda and the blue whale. They work very hard to help keep these poor creatures teetering on the right side of extinction.
So how’s this for a plan? We start eating them. I believe that if enough people demanded blue whale for dinner, garnished with the ears of a leopard and the left wing of a juicy big golden eagle………………….. It wouldn’t take very long for the big food companies to move in. When there’s a dollar to be made, pandas will be having babies with the regularity of rabbits and you won’t be able to go to the cinema for all the tigers you’ll meet on the way.
It’s either this or, I’m afraid, we are going to have to start eating each other. If that happens……………….. I want Al Gore…………….with fries.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi and Al, mmmm
Filed under: Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel, Video | Tagged: Carnival Splendor staff
Yes I have seen Zydecocruiser pics everyday. in fact i’m virtually cruising on the Carnival Splendor with your blogs, videos and his pics. He takes every little detail. So we think we are not missing that much…….
Thanks John and Bill for taking us with you.
Nanni
John:
Snow skiing is like karaoke and Nascar…people only go to see the wrecks!!!
LOVED the videos….thanks Tom and Stephanie!!
So sorry to hear of the passenger that needed medical assistance. We will keep the family in our thoughts. What a blessing that excellent facilities were close by.
Your friend DJ is now 17…..as of yesterday. He has decided that we need to squeeze in as many cruises as possible before he turns 18 (for Club O2)….at which time he wants to start going to Panama City, Florida!!
Keep up the great job!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
John & Hedi,
So great to see Hedi again!!! And you too John.
I love these video blogs!
I am saying prayers for the man and his mom that had health problems. I have no doubt that Carnival went above and beyond to help him and his mother.
Oh how I wish I could be there with you and Hedi cruising! Maybe I could get a job writing cue cards for both of you.
Time for a Hedi blog!
Princess Susan
Hi Stephanie
Love the videos–keep sending them!!!
Wish I could be there!!
Barb
Cheers to Bill’s website ! We’ve complimented him before via Cruisemates on his work.
Chris Roberts will be sooo sad he won’t be able to see….Emmit performing at The Waffle House in Macon, Georgia on Thursday nights.
Phil & Liz
Thanks for the video’s – makes me feel like I am there with you, and it won’t be long till we are – just 137 days till 11/21/08! Can’t wait! AND 537 days till we board the Dream on 12/26/09. Of cause we will probably take another cruise in between those 2, probably in the early Spring of 2009. Love seeing you and Heidi LIVE in the video’s. When do you think you will start answering or responding to our blog emails again? PLEASE ANSWER THIS JOHN! Thanks! I know I am not the only one asking this question. Great job on the 1st Splendor cruise! Hope all the kinks are worked out, especially with the TV’s in the cabins, by November! Ciao, Linda
Makes me long for the days of the Valor’s inaugural……..bon voyage all! What fun; see you
in January!
Hey John & Heidi,
Loved the videos, especially as I have been saying all the wrong words for the last couple days & english IS my first language. Good to see the “pros” mess up too!
Jan
Hi Heidi, hi Stephanie,
I’m looking right now at the “ships on sticks” I won from the Trivia contests you each hosted – wish I was there right now.
John,
“you could easily tell whether he was a cavalier or a roundhead.”
ROFLMAO!!!
Making a dirty joke by an oblique reference to Oliver Cromwell – WOW!
I bow in the presence of greatness!
I too love the video blogs. Thanks so much for giving us all a mini vacation every day!
How do I find the Zydeococruisers website?
John!!!
Love the videos in the blog thingy!! The best of both worlds!!!
I love the spice of life… and cruising add lots of the flavor to it!!! I try many new things when I cruise… (Whether it’s food, beverage, or activity…) It’s the adventure I LOVE, in the anonimity of many!!! I can try it, I can succeed or fail, and I have a story to share about it all!!! A tale to tell…
John, I look forward to your blog thingy EVERY day!!
Regards,
Lambie
First, prayers for the temporarily nameless passenger who fell ill. I’m sure that he has received excellent care, from the dispensary to the hospital at the port. Please, as conditions permit, an update.
The videos are wonderful. What an intriguing glimpse into your life at sea. I love and I’m positive I’m not alone saying that.
John, I have looked. The sky, despite what many of Al Gore’s disciples would have us believe, is not falling. Just as surely as the sky is not falling the food shortage will be solved and, as you noted, by capitalists not by governments.
Keep up the wonderful work!!!
Pass along my thanks and howdies to Heidi, Stephanie and Tom!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
Hi Heidi! It was so good to not only see you but also to hear your voice. We wish we were with you too. Hopefully you will still be on the Splendor when Don and I along with Sue and Larry cruise on it 11/29. If not we will all see you on the BC. You hair looks cute.
John, I have a good solution to the food shortage, grow your own. In fact we had green beans, tomatoes and cucumbers out of our little garden tonight for supper. Back in the ’40’s during World War 2 people grew their Victory Gardens. They had gardens in their backyards, empty lots and even rooftops. Have people all become too lazy to grow our own and can and freeze the vegetables???
Prayers are going up for the family that you had to take back for medical attention. I pray that he is doing better .
You’re looking good. Hope the scales are showing a weight loss.
Carolyn and Don ……. who have 76 days to go until our next cruise
John, great videos! Thanks — keep ‘em coming!
I’ll be praying for the guest with the medical problem. How scary that must be, to be so far from home and need medical care.
Hi John & Heidi,
We will be with you on Splendor from Dover to Rome and are counting the days! I have been sharing Bill’s photos of the ship as well as his photos of menus, Capers, etc. so we will feel oh so comfortable with our “home” of 12 days! Kudos to Bill for taking the time to share the joy! See you in 63 days!
Karen & Grant
Paula & Peter
Nancy & Jim
Pam & Bill
Bonnie & Sutter
(these 5 retired Coasties never sailed on anything so fine!)
Adele & Larry
Delane & Kent
(plus Kent’s mom Nell and her friend Clarice)
try this -http://www.zydecocruiser.com/splendor_pre/capers/capers_pre.htm
Thank you for making mention of zydecocruiser! I was thinking of sending you a note suggesting that he (and his wife) be mentioned on your blog. They have composed an amazing site full of information that those of us cruising the Splendor in the future are devouring!
I will be on board for the 4-day out of Fort Lauderdale and so look forward to the opportunity of meeting you. Thanks for your blog; thanks for mentioning zydeco’s fantastically wonderful website!
Bonnie
Whoa, John!
I’m worried about you. You are becoming one blood thirsty dude! Is it the diet? Is it bringing out the macho you? Everything seems related to blood, gore and/or food!!! Maybe you should take a “fat” day and eat a huge steak with french fries and return to your peaceable self.
Love the videos…and zydecocruisers pics! If he shoots them himself he must be at least a semi-professional photographer because they are really good.
Got to go now and fix FOOD!
Your Pal,
Myra
John,
The videos are great. When the staff is brought up on stage, I think that is one of the best part of the show. They get the applause they so well deserve.
Keep the videos coming so we can make-believe we are with you on the Splendor’s first voyage.
Charlotte
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/splendor/splendor_pre_map.htm
John, we will keep the ill one and his family in our prayers.
I’m enjoying my virtual cruise thanks to the zydecocruiser. The pictures are wonderful and it is great for those who are counting the days until our turn on Splendor.
Loved seeing the crew come up in the video! That last night is always so difficult for me when we know our wonderful cruise is coming to an end. Only solution is to have another one booked before we disembark!
Thanks John for keeping us all up to date, and Bill for posting those fantastic detailed photos on his site!
See you on Sunday!( Hoping for John’s autograph!!!)
John,
We want to hear how the weigh in went today…you didn’t mention it…any whooooo…will Big Tex still be the CD on the Fantasy in Feb with us???? I think You and Big Tex could really be dangerous together…I’d also like you to say a big hello to my friend Elsie and Kit Campbell who are taking their first Carnival cruise with all their kids and family and are reading the blog every day until their July 27th sailing on the Legend out of Tampa.
Our whole office cracked up about the rest room hand dryer video…..did engineering move them???
Keep up the good work and say HI to my buddy KEN !!!!
Mark Amanda and Catie from Alabama
I haven’t posted in a while but continue to regularly read the blog. The videos are a nice way to stay connected. I never heard your voice until our cruise last September on the Carnival Freedom. I remember your “Welcome Home” on the PA. Looks like Carnival Splendor even with the little glitches is still “Home”.
Dale & I will be sailing on her in April out of Long Beach. We’re counting down. I’m saying a prayer for a full recovery for the passenger that had the medical problem.
Kind Regards.
Mary Hyder
P.S. you don’t need to be on the travel channel. You get more hits on your blog than TV programmers get with viewers!
John,
I think you should have some members of the medical and security team on stage as well. Few people know of all of the hard and necessary work they do to keep everyone safe and well on the ship. What every happened with that TV show that you said someone was trying to pitch a few months back–did that ever go anywhere?
_BigMike
Blog Security
Hi John,
I am Norman from Malta right in the middle of the Mediterranean. My famil and I will be travelling on board the Spendor on the August 6th cruise to the Baltics and were wondering wether you be the CD on that cruise as well. The first and only time we came across you as CD was on the inugural cruise of the Carnival Liberty in July 2005 and you were absolutely fantastic……..by far the best CD we have come across on our cruises.
I am keeping up to date on what is going on on board the Splendor through your blog and just wanted to say keep up the brilliant work reading your blog and seeing your videos make us feel we are already in board that beautiful ship.
I woudl greatly appreciate you informing us about the 6th August cruise and wether you are going to be the CD.
Many thanks…..cheers
Norman from hot and sunnay Malta
I have a friend who is anti-vegetarian: He says its not ethically to eat food that was not able to defend itself before become food.
He only eats food which was able to bite, scratch or run away…
). What chance has salad to survive? None 
)
John and Heidi,
I enjoy the video most of all. Makes me feel like I am there with all of you and makes me anxious to see you on the Bloggers Cruise.
If my husband didn’t hunt deer, we wouldn’t eat any red meat at all. He even gets a few turkeys now and then.
Take care,
Ciao, Kathleen
John,
First of all my prayers are with the ill passenger. I have to agree I love only certain sports in the Olympics. the ladies 100 meter breast stroke, the ladies moguls, and of course the beer drinking contest on lido deck Wait is that a Olympic sport, well it should be you ever really watch those people I saw a lady once practically just swallow the can to win. She was a ripe lady of around 75 but she beat those kids in their 20’s and her team did win. The backstage video was good but the lighting wasn’t the best mate. It was nice to see Heidi who needs to write us a blog soon it’s been way way way way way too long. I always enjoy the thank you bit at the end of the cruise when all the departments are on stage to represent all their hard work for the last how ever many days. Best to all glad to hear Stephanie is there with you but who is the mystery person Tom ?
Cheers mate
Kevin
Our prayers are with the passenger who became ill on the cruise. I’m sure you will keep us up to date regarding his condition.
Great videos. They made me wish even more that we could be on board.
A question for Bonnie Hicks: What 4 day from Ft Lauderdale? I must have missed something. We can get there in about three hours and could be packing now!
Hope “Mr. Brightstar” is doing better. Hgs and well wishes to him and his family.
Hi John,
We are in London – drowning in all the rain and trying not to freeze. Hope the weather gets a little better when we get on the ship.
Here is a note for you. Hope you don’t make the past guest party in the afternoon. This is what happened on the Freedom last year and 11 AM is too early for a party. Since we like to get dressed for the party and then go to dinner it’s nice to have a later party so we can enjoy the cocktails and the movie.
See you and Heidi and of course our friend Ken on Sunday.
Linda and George
Love the blog and the videos. You and Heidi look great. Waiting to see more.
You and Emmitt Lee were sooo funny. I live in Georgia and can believe it!!! Hope to see more that was just fantastic!! Wish I was there.
Will remember the young man and his mother in my thoughts and prayers.
My best to you, Heidi and all the crew. Keep up the great work!!!
Kathy
This is for Jeri Green- there is a 4 day out of Ft. Lauderdale on the Splendor on 11/17 to Half Moon Kay, Bahamas and Grand Turk, when it gets back it will be on an 8 day cruise from Fri 11/21 till 11/29/08 (Thanksgiving week) when my husband I am plan on going, hope John is still CD then! Linda
This is for Linda Hernacki–I will be on the Thanksgiving cruise with you!
Hi John, enjoying your escapades on the blog. We are a group of 8 from Miami that will be joining you on July 13 in Dover. We are looking forward to our cruise and especially to meeting you. We heard you are a “WILD AND CRAZY GUY”. Keep those funny videos coming, especially that guy from Georgia that thought the sushi place was a bait shop. You can take the guy out of the country but you cant take the country out of the guy!!!!!
Hi John/Heidi:
Nice hearing from you and hope everything is going well.
I too have always been a fan of the ski jumps and look forward to watching the mountain events at the Olympics b/c you never know when you’ll be exposed to “the agony of defeat”.
Another great blog today.
Thanks for taking the time to post and I look forward to chatting soon.
Take care,
David
John,
This is Michael Hester. One of the Tennesse guys from the Fantasy, Destiny and the Conquest. My brother Larry wants to know if you hear from Eddie Capone or Helen Kennedy and what they are up to. Love seeing you on Video when you send them in you Blog. If all goes well, we hope to see you next year on a Carnival Cruise. We are looking at several right now and haven’t made up our minds yet.
Your Tennesse Guys
Mike, Larry and Thomas, you know the one you said was not getting enough pasta.