Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008...6:19 pm
Drugs for Breakfast
Let’s talk about Drugs.
Guest: Mr _________ Ref: 002801440A Owner: (EVSI) Evgeniya Ishkova
Cabin: ________ Booking#: ________ Added-Changed: 07/20/08 - 07/20/08_______ - Cruise Director Mentioned Drugs at travel talk.
Mr ________ called the desk saying that the Cruise Director had promoted the Red Light District in Amsterdam and the use of drugs. Guest thought this inappropriate as there were children in the room and that she was a drug treatment volunteer at a prison in Philadelphia. Guest wanted to speak to Cruise Director. Purser informed guest that she would advise John and that he would be calling her.
Ok, first of all I called the guest and apologized. Indeed, I had mentioned the fact that the Red Light District did not only contain ladies standing in windows but also Coffee Houses. I explained in my talk that if guests wanted a coffee that these were not the place for a cappuccino but were in fact areas where smoking marijuana is legal………I told the story from the Carnival Legend where two elderly ladies found themselves in the Red Light district after some shopping time………..saw the word Coffee Shop ……went in for a Latte……..and came out with the munchies. …………..
Now, I also told the guest that I had warned people that they should not try and bring anything back onboard and that although my “Legend” story got a big laugh I was also being serious.
The guest said that I should not mention the word marijuana and that she was dismayed that I did…………….I apologized again………..boy was she mad at me…………….and you know how that upsets me deeply. I have therefore decided not to tell that joke again.
You see, when it comes to drugs I am totally naive. I have never, smoked anything stronger than a Cuban cigar and as for sniffing something……well the only bad stuff that’s ever gone up my nose is the smell from my bottom after I once ate 12 Brussels Sprouts one Christmas Dinner.
I guess therefore I never thought that this innocent joke would upset someone so much. I don’t know anyone who partakes and I guess if you want to shovel a ton of coke up your nose that’s up to you.
However, I must say at this point that I have never taken drugs because I would hate anything that would affect my ability to think properly………….why would anyone want to take away the ability to think clearly? ………….I once saw a group of people at my college who’d taken some magic mushrooms. They were lying in the middle of the cricket pitch laughing hysterically at a shoe. And a shoe, so far as I can tell, has exactly the same comedic properties as Simon Cowell
Magic mushrooms, then, do not make you clever, irresistible to women, or give you X-ray vision, all of which would be fine. They make you laugh at a shoe, and that’s not fine at all.
This is another reason why I don’t drink anymore. When I had partaken of a few beers I would marshal my thoughts into a coherent sentence but they would come out as a steam of incoherent rubbish…….I sounded like someone from Japan trying to speak Klingon.
Once, while on vacation in Orlando, I arrived back at my very large hotel and couldn’t remember either what room I was in or my name. So I had to spend the whole night trying my key in each of the doors, a job made doubly hard because they each appeared to have 16 or 17 locks. Fun? No, not really, unless the alternative is being eaten by a lion.
The worst drug though, by a mile, is the common or garden sleeping pill. I tried one once, on a flight from Miami to London, and was so removed from anything you might call reality that to this day I have no recollection of the entire flight except being woken up by the flight attendant who was a pretty young thing from Virgin Airlines………she was blonde and quite attractive ………..yet when she woke me up I opened my eyes, looked at her and said “piss off Brian.”….I then realised what I had said yet couldn’t string a sentence together to apologize. ……….and this was from taking just three Tylenol PM tablets…………….I promised myself I would never take them again.
However, after my overnight trip to California a few months ago to film the USA Character Fantasy thing I mentioned to the ship’s doctor who was an old friend that I wasn’t looking forward to the eleven-hour flight back. He took pity on me and offered me two pills that would help me sleep. I said “no, thank you” explaining the last time had nearly resulted in me being banned from flying Branson Airlines ever again. However, he was very persuasive saying they were only antihistamines rather than proper sleeping pills, so I relented and as the plane took off popped them into my mouth.
The first indication that something was wrong came 10 minutes into the film I was watching. It didn’t make any sense. Matt Damon had become Jean Claude Van Damme who, in turn, was suddenly wearing a leather skirt and high heels. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t care. And then I fell into such a deep sleep that, if someone had removed my pancreas using only a spoon………I would never have known.
The next thing I knew we were landing at Heathrow and this time as the American Airlines attendant woke me instead of swearing at her and calling her Brian I opened my mouth to speak and a torrent of green stuff drooled out of my mouth.
I vaguely remember collecting a bag from the carousel — I think it was mine — and driving home to the accompaniment of many blown horns and gestures to go away…………… Heidi was in Holland when I got back and I dimly recall climbing into bed telling myself I would have an hours nap before lunch.
And then it was seven hours later, and when I awoke I seemed to have forgotten how anything worked. I stared at my coffee machine for what must have been 20 minutes until the sheer complexity of the thing made me cry.
I’d love to report that the next day I felt refreshed but in fact everything was worse. I couldn’t shake off the crash helmet that had been nailed onto my head………….and my mouth tasted like the inside of Gandhi’s flip-flop.
I sometimes can’t sleep………I count sheep…………I count the tigers that spring out of the field and eat them………I toss and I turn but if sleep doesn’t come I will never ever reach for the sleeping pills again. Having experienced the after effects I know that getting though the next day on one hours sleep is better than trying to get though it with the reaction times, humor, and conversation of a sloth.
Oh, and by the way……………..The Red Light District tour………..is sold out.
What a beautiful day at sea it’s been. The sun has been shining and the people seem very happy and very content. I am not sure if I mentioned this before and if I have I apologize…………but when I first got onboard I wasn’t sure about the new midship pool area and the enclosed roof. However, it has been a godsend.
Look at today for example………….its sunny…………but its still only 67 degrees outside. Therefore, with roof closed the guests are warmed by the sunlight streaming in through the glass roof and they can still enjoy swimming, the events on deck, the live music and the big screen movies and concerts. Whereas, the Serenity Deck, and the aft part of the ship which unlike the Destiny and Conquest class which have an enclosed space is open……….most of the sun beds are unused. Here are some photos taken at noon today and I think by seeing these you will understand what I mean.
and a few photos of Tallin…………more of these next week when Heidi and I hopefully will get to go ashore.
Here is today’s bio featuring one of our wonderful Housekeeping Staff Dede Hidayat………………people like this is what makes a Carnival vacation simply brilliant.
NAME
Dede Hidayat
DEPARTMENT AND POSITION
Housekeeping, Stateroom StewardHOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED FOR CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES
About two years. This is my second contract, before here I was on the Carnival VictoryWHAT DOES YOUR JOB INVOLVE
Organizing the rooms of the guests and making sure I meet their hearts desire.WHERE ARE YOU FROM
IndonesiaWHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR JOB
I enjoy taking care of people, and seeing friendly faces. I enjoy seeing them smile when they see their nice clean cabin and when they laugh at my towel animals. I enjoy talking to people from all over the world and I am very proud to be doing work on ship.TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY BACK HOME
On vacation, I will visit my parents and we will eat good food and laugh at jokesWHAT DO YOU MISS MOST ABOUT BEING IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY APART FROM FAMILY
I miss going to the cinema and my friends and churchFAVORITE THINGS
MOVIE
Kung Fu moviesMUSIC
Slow music, anything but rock.FOOD
Spicy everything.IF YOU COULD MEET ANY FAMOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO WOULD IT BE
Bruce LeeIF YOU HAD TO DO ANOTHER JOB ON THE SHIP WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO AND WHY
I would like to be an entertainment technician. So I could fix things and work behind the scenes in the shows.
I am so glad you all enjoyed the videos from yesterday especially the one of Claude singing his heart out for you. I have been putting copies of the blog in the library for everyone to read and showed Claude the comments…………I wish you could have seen the smile on his face.
This morning we held a senior management meeting which was chaired by the captain. We all agreed that the first cruise had been challenging but rewarding and that we were all very happy with what had happened. The major areas for improvement are:
Filling the pools at different times to avoid the murky water of the Baltic………….I suggested we use fresh water which is something the engineers are seeing if that is possible.
Better organization of the lines at Immigration in St.Petersburg…………..I am responsible for this and Heidi and I already have a plan of action which I will share with you.
The positioning of the gangways in St.Petersburg………….The captain mentioned that the pier is unkempt with railway tracks running right at the end of the gangway itself ………….extra staff will be in position to warn people to be careful. I will be mentioning this in my travel talk.
Welding of the coffee and drinks station on Lido Deck……….we have had a leak on one of the beverage stations………work is now in progress to stop the leak.
The Interactive TV System…………This is still not functioning as it should but work continues and most of the guest cabins have full interactive functions. The Sac Ship display is also not working. This is the TV channel that shows the ship’s route with the same on a huge plasma screen on the Promenade Deck. A technician is due to arrive in Amsterdam to fix the problem.
Breakfast Menus……………With so many international guests it was discussed that we will now add both continental style meats and cheeses to the breakfast set up and with so many Brits we will be serving the Heart Foundation’s worst nightmare, a full English Breakfast of bacon, eggs, bangers (sausages) baked beans, mushrooms and proper well-done toast.
Ah yes, the great British Breakfast. I think its safe to say that to Brits………..breakfast is the most important meal of the day ……….maybe caravanparkmanager would care to comment on this.
During my travels outside of the UK I have visited many an establishment that proclaims itself to be A BRITISH PUB…………but in fact it is as British as Nachos and Budweiser.
The one such establishment I remember more than any other was a pub in Nassau called The Green Shutters which years ago on the Carnival Fantasy’s three and four-day cruises would be a regular haunt of mine.
Now you would think being a past British colony that this island would be teeming with British Pubs but the Shutters………was the only one…………and it was dreadful………not only was food something that a pack of hyenas who had not eaten for a week would turn their noses up and laugh at………..the service was historically rude and the prices were outrageous. However, it was a little piece of home so me and my fellow British crew would head their every time the ship was in port.
One of the biggest jokes was the Green Shutters version of “English Sausages.”
I remember prodding them with my fork and wondering what on earth they’d made it from. Mashed-up rubber with essence of pig probably because, and I’ve tried this, the Green Shutters sausage is the only sausage in the world which, when thrown to the floor, will bounce.
Then there’s The Green Shutters “traditional” fish ’n chips. You look at it on your plate and you think: “Bloody hell, did a fish really give up its life to end up here?” And then you put it in your mouth and you think: “No, it didn’t. I don’t know what this is but it sure as hell isn’t a fish.”
To me, it tasted like a Frenchman’s sock.
Well, tonight I will be in a bad mood………………I have to wear my Dolly Parton dress for the Carnival Legends show. I hate doing this…………I hate the fact that I try sophisticated comedy all cruise long and then the biggest laugh of the week is when I put on a glittery gown with loads of sequins and built in humongous breasts.
This afternoon there was an emergency call for all backstage technicians to report to the main lounge as the main curtain had collapsed. All the technicians and myself responded immediately as this was going to be a huge problem and could have been potentially very dangerous if it had fallen on anyone……….and how would we do the shows?
However, the emergency call was quickly canceled when it was discovered that the mass of material lying on the stage was not the theatres main curtain…………..it was my Dolly Parton Dress……………bugger.
Goodnight
Your Friends
Dolly and Heidi
56 Comments
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Ahhh, John… Thank you for the wonderful belly laugh to launch me into the evening. It’s greatly appreciated!!
Do you ever feel like you simply can never please everyone? No matter what you say or how you say it there will ALWAYS be that one, especially in a crowd of 3000, who will be offended. I don’t envy you your job but I DO envy your position!!
Even at 67 degrees it looked like a perfectly magnificent day on the Splendor… a splendid day…
Dede sounds like so many other Carnival staff that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Customer focus is what truly sets Carnival apart. I’ve never seen a Carnival employee frown. Their visage is always graced by what I call the ‘patented Carnival smile’… bright, warm and welcoming.
I’m very happy to hear that the fall of your Dolly Parton costume caused no fatalities. Regarding the humor side, more people will always enjoy in-your-face obvious humor than will enjoy sophisticated humor thus the incredible success of Larry the Cable Guy!
Thanks again for the laughs!!
My continuing thanks to Heidi and Stephanie for all they do.
Cheers!!!
Host Mach
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Dear John…..
Do not change your routine for one person that got her underwear in a knot!!! On how many occasions have you said those words and had not one complaint! Maybe she should take the role of a parent and explain the situation to her child….or maybe the child should have been in Camp Carnival while she attended the talk. Maybe she should have paid more attention to what you said and not what she thinks she heard. Bottom line…(hope I don’t get in trouble with her for saying Bottom)….she needs to get a life!
John from Frisco, Tx
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
John:
I think your “munchie” joke will still be ok if you follow it with the following sentence….. (after the laugh)….”since we all know that drugs are serious business and have no place in any house…I need to make you aware that they are in these “Coffee houses. Wait for your expresso for when you are back onboard the ship.
But come to think of it…then you are going to have someone being treated with MJ for glacoma ragging you for “condemning their treatment”.
Geez…looks like you just can’t win!! Time once again for the CD Serenity Prayer!
The next time you are called to have this “discussion” (and you know there will be a next time), I will send you my tshirt to wear that says….”people like you are the reason people like me take medication!” LOL
Personally, I am torn between the Talent Show and the Legends Show. I have been in about 12 Talent Shows and in 5 Legends Shows…and equally enjoyed doing both. Definately being Cher on the Legend (the ship and the show) has been the highlight of my cruise ship performances. I hope the Fantasy adds the Legend Show when they go through their Dry Dock so that Rozwin (Karaoke Host) and I can be a duo again in October!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
8 pounds lighter!!!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
John, I know it is hard not to worry about some negative comments by a few, becuase obviously you always try to please everyone, but the majority like the jokes, the banter, the fun, because if they didn’t Carnival would not be the most Popular Crusie line in the World, would it? Go have fun with the many, even though its in you to still worry about the few………
Take care to you and your Lovely wife
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:20 pm
“…the fact that I try sophisticated comedy all cruise long…”
Good one, John!!! *L*
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
But Dolly whoops I mean John you look so darn cute dressed as Dolly. If you keep losing weight your dress will fall off or some of your parts will fall out.
Jo
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Dolly -
First of all, I am concerned about the fit of your attire given your dedication to the reduction of your girth. I am afraid that those huge ta-tas will only become merely gigantic.
Speaking of which - I saw a pink ribbon yesterday symbolizing the fight against breast cancer that said “Save the Ta-ta’s”. And the car was being driven by a woman. Talk about honesty.
Now, onto the topic of the red light district. Personally, I think you owe it to the passengers to warn them about the environment that they might find themselves in. As for the joke, there is nothing wrong with it - I would bet that every one of your jokes offend someone. Are you going to totally discontinue telling your jokes because one person is offended, while the other 2,999 find the joke funny?
IMO, the individual’s attitude regarding “not mentioning marijuana” is bass ackwards. Failure to communicate to our young is a direct cause of the decline of our society, IMO. If we have open, frank discussions with our youth, I firmly believe that many of the problems that exist in our society would be mitigated.
Just my two euros.
Thebloggerformerlyknownasmissingthesmokefreeparadise
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
John
In all my years working onboard & now cruising as a passenger, the biggest problem that most cruiselines have is providing a real British breakfast all they provide at the moment is rubbish sausage & bacon but great eggs.
Back in 1981, I left school, Mrs Thatcher was in control & she said I had to go to work for £25.00 per week on a YTS (youth training scheme). I secured a job with Walter Smiths (B’ham) Butchers. As a girl type of person in a male type of profession I had a great time learning the trade. It taught me that the Brits like middle back bacon & a good pork & leek sausage for breakfast.
Why oh why do most cruiselines serve up crispy streaky bacon & horrible thin non pork or British style sausages. Us Brits love to cruise & as you have said we treasure our breakfasts, please talk to Mr Head of Carnival F & B. If they can sort it out they will more Brit repeat cruisers than they can ever cope with.
Love your “thingy” keep your “thingy” coming.
Lorraine xx
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Hi John and Heidi. The blog gets better and better. Along with Bills pictures and the blog this cruise has had to be the best for us who would like to be with you all. Please keep up the good work. I am with you John My husband and I have yet to find an authentic British Pub here in Canada and the States. What a great time we had in England last year. The food,drink and atmosphere in the Pubs is wonderful.
Val. in Ontario,Canada
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Howdy, John,
Ah, Amsterdam! You couldn’t give a travel talk about Amsterdam without mentioning the red light district and the coffee shops. Those, and the deserted bicycles in various stages of “decomposition” chained to the railings, the flower stalls, the canal boats (I like the ones you peddle around), are part and parcel of the city. Everyone knows about it and everyone wants to see it! Oooooh, and what about the Museum of Torture? Is it still there? We never went in but it seemed to attract crowds. Besides, those who aren’t interested in the “district” or the drugs should be glad you are warning them where NOT to go!
I’m with you on the drugs and drinking thing. I’ve gotten into enough trouble via alcohol, without adding the weird stuff. Usually stay fairly sober these days. Maybe I’ll eventually join you on the wagon totally.
Nice pictures, and you’re right…it was a beautiful day! Cute picture of Dede, also. I really like the Indonesian staff we’ve met on cruises. They are so sweet and happy. Also have a good sense of humor, and from what I’ve seen a great work ethic.
Sounds like you guys accomplished a lot in your meeting. Made lots of decisions anyway. I’m sure it’ll all get done. Speaking of English breakfast, there used to be a place on St. George Street in St. Augustine that served quite a good one. It included sliced tomatoes which…I think…were kind of fried or baked. But the sausages were good, the eggs cooked just right. If you’re ever there, look it up.
Hope to see you in your Dolly Dress someday!
Hi to Heidi, and my best to you both.
Your Pal, Myra
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Hello, John
( : thank you for the personal letter, and i feel good that as they say in school these days….”weeeee keeewel!”
it means wher cool like friends or as we say home boys or dogs.
lol
I now understand that its just humer and nothing seriouse about the competion whith carnival and rcl , even though when it comes to true buissness it is but, i know its nnot on your blog just having fun.
from , JAKE S. ( :
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:17 pm
John…
You are so right!!! Drugs are nothing to fool with. I must say, growing up in the 60s and 70s in San Francisco was another life ago, but now I take life much more seriously!! I never drink if I know I even “may” have to drive… And anything harder, doesn’t happen! But, do I have less fun??? …not of your life!!! I have a BLAST!!!
Sissy Dear lives in the Hague… I know that Red Light district… It is a hoot! And an experience to behold…
As for the menus you’re tweaking… hey… when you offer more choices… EXCELLENT!!! How can you go wrong?
Thanks John… Keep up the great blogs. Give your lovely wife a smooch and hug for me!! And to Stephanie… You’re SUPER WONDERFUL!!! Thanks for keeping us all connected!!!
Lambie
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:27 pm
As a substance abuse counselor I do not take offense concerning your joke about marijuana. Yes, drugs are dangerous and it is a very serious issue. Telling a joke and having children hear it concerning drugs is an opportunity to explain drugs, the physical and psychological effects of using drugs. Also the legal consequences. Not talking about drugs is not going to keep a child or an adult from using. We need to educate society about the harm of drugs so that they can educate their children. Often people believe that if drugs are a topic that is not brought up in the home that their children are not using. If we do not educate them on the dangers of drug use than their friends may possibly be sharing with them false information concerning drug use and how drugs will not harm them if they control their use. It is the same as with sex; if you do not give them the information they will find it from someone and it may not be what you want them to hear. So if a joke opens the door to this discussion I see nothing wrong with. Take advantage of the opportunity and have a conversation with your children. Sorry to preach but education and prevention is the key to lowering the climbing rate of drug use and drug related deaths in the states. How often are jokes made about alcohol and people do not protest? I have seen more people in my 11 years of practice die from alcohol than all of the other drugs put together. I am not taking away the seriousness of drug use but showing also the seriousness of alcohol abuse. Moderation is the key with alcohol as it also is a mood altering chemical. So when I read that this woman believed John was wrong with the joke I knew I had to comment. I have been on 4 cruises in the past with Carnival and John has been the CD every time and he has done a great job each and every time and he would probably be devastated if he knew something he said would harm a child. John keep up the good work and your good humor. Looking forward to cruising with you August 30, 2008. Catherine Ebert
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Hi John: Well, I can’t believe tomorrow is the big day — we fly out of Miami to London and the Splendor. I know I won’t sleep a wink tonight, too excited, but maybe it is for the best, this way, I’ll sleep on the plane without taking a pill. Glad to hear most everything is working well on the ship and look forward to seeing you Friday afternoon.
Mary Lou
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Dear John Tell Claude I have thought about his song all day.It was truly and aw- inspiring.John I don’t know how you deal with this everything has to be politically or socially correct generation.It must be draining on the sensibilities. Oh well you handle it grandly.The pictures were great as always. Best wishes to you all. Gary and Bug
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 pm
“I hate the fact that I try sophisticated comedy all cruise long”
Yeah, “Is that a booger in the sugar?” was written by Noel Coward, right?
*****
The guest said that I should not mention the word marijuana”
I had several paragraphs written about just what I thought of this person - but I will try to keep with the spirit of the blog and just say I am SO glad I am not on the same ship as she, and I’m sorry you are, John.
*****
I think you are right on about the retractable roof. When I was on the BC1 and it rained off and on at Cozumel, I took my book under the dome and had a great time. The crew was really great about opening it when the rain stopped, and then quickly closing it again, although it probably was a real pain for them. I have heard that Carnival Dream won’t have this feature, and I’m disappointed.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 pm
John,
As someone with close ties to the drug and alcohol treatment industry, let me tell you that a lot of the people who are on the front lines of dealing with it… well, they’re often as out of phase with reality as the clients they’re helping. It’s very much a bubble world, where not mentioning certain words or banning clients from seeing certain movies like “Leaving Las Vegas” or “Pulp Fiction” makes sense.
But here in the real world where we must cope with different and challenging things every day, we realize that a joke is a joke and laugh appropriately. Or we don’t. But we then go on with our day without trying to demand that the world censor itself to cater to our delicate sensibilities (well, most of us don’t). Which is to say I hope you’ll reconsider eliminating that joke from your talk.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Had to listen to Claude’s song again today–wow.
Love the photos of the ship and how nice it is that the dome can be closed and keep it nice and warm even when it’s chilly outside.
As for the tour talk, is it like this for you on every cruise? Geez, all I can say is that you are well suited to your position. I don’t believe there would be many “Past Guests” if most of us had to deal with what you do each day–thanks!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Hi John,
I sure wouldn’t worry about what one person has to say about your talk on Amsterdam. Obviously she didn’t listen well enough and didn’t have a sense of humor or she would have understood what you were actually telling her.
I love your Dolly routine. Wish I could be there to see it in person!
Hello to Heidi!
Princess Barb
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
John,
Just remember the saying..you can’t please all the people all the time!
And only having one out of 3,000 upset I think is very good.
Now have you ever wonder what Dolly thinks of your impression of her? LOL.
Thanks for the great pictures…wish I was there.
Time for a Hedi blog!!!!!
Princess Susan
Hi Stephanie
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Oh good Lord……Don’t edit your routine because of some crybaby whiner that can’t stand the word Marijuana…..ignoring and not mentioning it isn’t going to make it go away….grow up and deal with reality….. nuff said….add a disclaimer as Linda suggested and be done with it….
As far as hating to do the Dolly outfit routine for a bit of comedy…..Why fret about it? If it gets the laughs and people enjoy it……hmmmm Sophisticated comedy is fantastic and I love that type of humour (spelt correctly) but to be able to encompass a fuller spectrum of comedy is even better. There are many great actors (comic or otherwise) that have now and then donned the garb akin to your Dolly outfit and some of them even fit within the great category.
Mark
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Hello, John
I have a blog now to!
it, Jakesilverbergsblog.wordpress.com
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
John,
Can’t wait to come see you - won’t be long now - just 38 days!
When that tech comes on in Amsterdam to fix the TV’s - get them to fix the Webcams and ship locator - we’ve been staring at the same image from July 15th
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
So no more stories about incidents in the Red Light District? It sounds to me like some people are just a tad too hypersensitive.
I’m with you on the giving up drinking thing. While I have enjoyed an adult beverage or fifty in the past, I tended to become a bit of a babbling idiot when hammered. Giving that up was one of the best things I ever did, although it was more out of necessity…..something about my doctor saying I’m diabetic.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Its the fact that you DO worry about the negative comments of one passenger, rather than resting on the contentment of the the masses, that makes Carnival such a fantastic vacation.
Your hard work shows through!
Thanks for all your hard work, laughs, and service! We really appreciate it, and will continue to be loyal Carnival customers because of you and the rest of the employees of Carnival!
July 24th, 2008 at 12:06 am
OMG John, went for a latte and came out with the munchies LOL!!!!…please don’t let one person sadly affected by what they do for a living have you removing a hilarious story!! In fact, it is your duty to inform all passengers about Amsterdam’s “uniqueness”, or you will surely have many more unwitting ladies heading back the ship with the munchies…
I am so loving the crew interviews, it is always, always, the crew that puts Carnival so way over the top. Nothing is better than being surrounded by smiling people proud of their work, and so obviously determined to make sure you have the time of your life…reading about your management meeting is more reinforcement for why our experience on board is above and beyond…
Our lovely new lady looked especially lovely today, oh those sea days!! It was 101 here today John, I am envious of that 67 degrees!! Makes for a perfect summer cruise choice is what I’m thinkin’!!God Bless you all who give us this gift each day…Hugs to all!EvaForever Friend of John’s Thingy
July 24th, 2008 at 12:22 am
John,
I really find the behind the scenes tidbits fascinating. The meeting you describe with problems ranging from fixing a coffee pot to disembarking details just show how truly complex a cruise ship is and how many things can go wrong. It’s good to know that the captain and crew take even small matters seriously for the safety and enjoyment of the passengers. I would love to have Fresh water in the pools for our New Years Cruise on the Splendor. Keep the pictures of the ship coming. Only 156 days away.
Cheers,
Brad
July 24th, 2008 at 1:22 am
John,
Recent fan of the blog. I’ve been reading it since you started coverage of Eurodam as I’m a huge fan of HAL.
However, the pictures and info of the Splendor have it very likely I’ll be going during the fall ‘09 Mexico cruise through the riviera.
I wanted to say, that I truly love your sense of humor (it’s as warped as I am) and this post was no exception.
In fact, I have never laughed harder.
Keep up the AMAZING job, and I truly hope that you’ll be on the Splendor by the time next November comes around. It would truly be a pleasure to meet you!
Brad
July 24th, 2008 at 2:22 am
Hi John,
Great pics of your day at sea and great to see what a lovely atmosphere the main pool deck provides when the roof is closed. I am looking forward to it on our August 6th cruise. Tallin seems to be a lovely quaint city and really looking forward to that as well.
:) 
:)
:) 
I am also looking forward to seeing Dolly Parton perform on stage that should be quite a show !!!!
With regards to your jokes never mind the the touchy minute few…….keep those John Heald jokes coming they add to the banter, excitement and entertainment on the cruise.
Keep up the sterling work John
Cheers mate
Norman from Sunny Malta
July 24th, 2008 at 5:27 am
John:
Like Host Mach said you can’t please everyone. The weather looked great, hopefully it will stay that way for when we arrive, for which we can’t wait to see you and Heidi and the rest of your crew, we’re counting the days.
Love,
Suzann
July 24th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Come on, John, stop focusing on and worrying about the politically correct complainer nutjobs. You have been at this long enough to know there is always going to be someone offended by something. Be yourself and tell your jokes. The Red Light district joke is a good one. Ideally you would be able to tell these uptight panty waists to lighten up, but I guess you can’t do that. Remember, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one. Go with the 99%, not the 1%!!!
July 24th, 2008 at 7:39 am
John, you better not put on the Dolly Parton dress. You just don’t know who will attack you for that. I was going to list all of the issues they could complain about a man in a dress with oversized boobs but when I saw how long it would be I dropped that idea.
BIG ED
July 24th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Hi John.
Yes, the traditional British Breakfast. Otherwise known as a “Heart attack on a plate”!
I don’t partake as much as I used to, but temptation does strike from time to time.
My regular lunch spot, 5 minutes from work, is a little cafe half-hidden behind a car wash. They do a British Breakfast all day… somewhat imaginatively titled “All Day Breakfast” so addicts can even get their “fix” at lunchtime……
So few people seem able to fry an egg properly. It should be cracked into a pan with 1/8 inch of fat, and the fat should be regularly splashed onto the top of the egg. This means all the white is fully cooked, soft, but with a slightly crispy edge, while the yolk stays runny. I hate those eggs cooked on a griddle in a little circular gadget.
Good sausages are a must, and we have a local butcher who has won several awards, and who makes the most delicious lamb and mint sausages - perfect on barbecues - but I digress. Sausages should be pan fried, or at least griddled, and turned a few times, to give the skin some crispier areas. Too many cafes deep fry their sausages, leaving them with the same all-over colour and no real consistency.
Mushrooms. Many cafes slice them thinly before frying them. I much prefer the mushroom to be cut into large chunks (say quarters - or halves if it’s a small mushroom) and then shallow fried with a pinch of salt.
There are two types of tomatoes - many cafes slice a tomato in half and griddle fry it. However, I really prefer a “plum tomato” which is skinless and heated whole in a saucepan.
One slice of Black Pudding is nice, but it needs cooking carefully to avoid becoming dry or hard.
This brings us to the “piece de resistance” - a slice of fried bread. Some cafes simply throw a slice of bread in the deep fryer - that is horrible! Greasy , hard as rock and full of fat.
The traditional way was to shallow pan fry the bread, allowing it to soak up the small amount of fat in the pan, and turning it once. The aim is to have crispy fried surfaces, while the centre is still soft, and deep frying simply can’t do this.
My local cafe has refined this method, by spraying a little vegetable oil on both sides of the bread, then cooking in on the griddle. It tastes as nice, and it’s healthier, too. (Not that the word “healthy” has much to do with a “Full English”)
The meal must be accompanied by at least 2 cups of strong tea, and finished by a couple of slices of warm toast and butter.
The toast must be warm. Ideally buttered and served immediately it pops out of the toaster, never left standing.
In Scotland, the breakfast should also contain a slice of haggis, and a potato cake. Haggis is simply delicious, and potato cakes are small, flat rectangles, formed from seasoned mashed potato, grilled and served with a little butter melting on the top.
Scotland’s breakfasts also often use sausage slices - a flat, rectangular skinless sausage which has a lovely texture when griddled - crispy on the outside and soft inside.
That’s it. I’m not having that sandwich for lunch. I’m off down the cafe. Bye!
July 24th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Hi John/Heidi:
Great blog today. I personally don’t think you were out of line with the coffee house joke in Amsterdam. My 2 cents. Its common sense that it is over there. Oh well.
I really enjoyed the interview today and the pictures look wonderful from Tallin. Looking forward to seeing more.
Nothing worse in the world than the “sleeping pill hangover”. Hurts me 10x worse than when i have a glass or 2 of wine.
Great hearing from you and hope diet is ok.
Thanks again,
David
July 24th, 2008 at 9:01 am
PLEASE RESPOND: Hi John, I remember your talk on the Triumph while in Jamaica, and we all laughed Don’t get rid of it Its a good one! Along with all your jokes, we used to laugh so hard, and now fortunately we get to laugh dailey with your blog thingy!! Thank you for all you do. Also we will be going on Spirit to Alaska in September with Bubba , is the deck pool the same there? Will we be able to enjoy that? Also could you please ask Bubba about the excursions We booked three but want his expert advice if they are good one? Thank you John for all you do I could not get the videos from yesterday, I wish I had . I get some , but some for some reason I can’t open??
July 24th, 2008 at 9:04 am
John, Don’t worry about offending a few people who are unable to tell a joke from an endorsement. I realize that’s easier said than done. You need to let people know about the Red Light District and the Coffee Houses and a bit of humor helps with the explanation. Keep up the good work and the jokes! Jeri
July 24th, 2008 at 9:27 am
John, Pat’s brother Jerry (he lives with us) went into the hospital at 5:30 this morning. Will find out later if he will be needing a heart by-pass. I ask the blog family to say a prayer that all goes well for him.
ED
PS. I got a new post on my blog about Ugly Alan.
http://ekonefe.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/ugly-alan-to-be-on-2009-bloggers-cruise/
July 24th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Dear John & Heidi
Great Blog & Great Job on all you do on the “fixes to the ships plans….
John leave your jokes alone , don’t let that one spoiled apple sour the taste for the whole bushel.
AHH the English breakfast. I love the english Bangers, there isn’t a sausage out there that tastes quite like them, love the flavour.(spelled correctly)
Loved the pictures, keep them coming.
So glad you shared the blog thingy with Claude, that’s soo great, even if I did accidently spell his name wrong! (SORRY!)
No matter how thin you get John everyone will want to see you as Dolly, you will just have to keep up the padding!(No offense to the Texans withthe Hurricaine)
Take Care & HAVE A GREAT DAY
The Tuckers
Elizabeth & Arnold
July 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I AM SOOO JEALOUS!
Not only is the intinerary stellar (LOVE the shots from Tallin, it’s become a must see for me), but now you’re going to be serving a real Continental breakfast and a complete, true, English breakfast! I haven’t had that since being stationed in Germany back between ‘90 to ‘93, and stomping around the various countries on holiday.
And speaking of visiting various countries, I have found memories of Amsterdam (yes, the RLD is an experience, but it’s on of those “been there, don’t that… and that… and some of that” for me). Seems like a concensus is showing on the “Mary Jane” issue: Oh yes, that’s the way to make a problem go away - ignore, don’t mention it. I’m sorry, John, but as others above have stated you were in the right (yet again!, when will cruisers learn, mate?). Forewarned is forearmed, and I’d hate to be you if you HADN’T mentioned what could be encountered in the “coffee houses” and Mr. & Mrs. Jones took young Bobby and Suzy in for a latte and came out tripping the light fantastic. Political correctness is the destruction of modern civilization. Closing your eyes to what is occuring, even though legally, in an area visited does not make it go away, nor does it protect people from it. To paraphrase what Catherine said, “Do you want your kids to find out about it from YOU or from a friend/dealer?”
Keep talking, and joking, about what you feel you should, John. You’ve got a good heart and a smart head on your shoulders (most of the time, doghouse forgiving…).
And had I mentioned I’m JEALOUS!? Really need to work on winning that Power Ball.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Hi John,
I have been enjoying your blog for many months now - from before you announced that you would be the CD on our upcoming August 6 cruise. Reading your blog is one of the little joys in my life. I share your stories with my husband and two daughters. Ha ha, they sometimes get tired of all the cruise talk and tell me that perhaps I should get a job on the Splendor myself! Anyway, thank you so much for everything. I look forward to meeting you and Heidi (and others friends of John’s Thingy) in a couple of weeks.
Carmen from California
July 24th, 2008 at 11:42 am
You are making it so hard for me to wait until 8/30 to get on the Splendor. I love hearing the goofy complaints people give. I never realized how many people speak before they think.
Linda
July 24th, 2008 at 11:46 am
John, don’t drop the joke or the info on the coffee houses. Ignoring the facts of life is not going to make them go away. My parents never gave me a “facts of life” talk but I found out anyway.
Big Ed, thinking of Jerry, hoping everything works out.
Kathy
July 24th, 2008 at 11:47 am
John
I so enjoy your blog each and every day, do not change your routines for one or two people who become offended by situations that are an obvious attempt to mark important information with a little humor so it may be retained in the human brain.
If someone is offended by the mentioning of drugs or the word marijuana because of the children in the audience I think that they hear more than that on the local news or television shows each night. If this person is a counselor in a jail in Philly I am sure that they were exposed to more than the words to get in the predicament they are in….It comes down to parenting and keeping children imformed and knowledgable about the downfalls of drugs not if you hear it from a guy trying to entertain a group of people while getting very important information across to the masses..
OK enough of the soap box I cannot wait to see the new ship in December in the carribean where, hopefully we won’t need the roof over the pool..I am also going to be on the bloggers cruise in February…Please Respond will there be more posted on the events for the days before the bloggers cruise in New Orleans so I know when I should arrive to be there….
thanks for the good times on your thingy.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Were I to invoke logic….. however, logic clearly dictates that Jeff may be more than a little familiar with Star Trek.
Live long and prosper….
July 24th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
D’oh!
July 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Prayers to Pat’s brother, Jerry and to Pat and Big Ed too.
John,
You were not out of line with your joke about the marajauna…You can’t please everyone all the time…just think of how many people might have gone in for a “cup of coffee” if you had not informed them!
As for your traditional English breakfast…I must say I have never eaten all that in one sitting. But have eaten it separately. I think I will stay away from all those calories at one time! I will save the calories for Warm Chocolate Melting cake!
Julie
July 24th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
To caravanparkmanager,
That sounded delicious all around.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I’ve been enjoying reading about and seeing pictures of the Splendor! Thanks John and Bill!
Only 97 days before we sail on the Splendor (that will be our 12th Carnival cruise)!! In 632 days we cruise on the Dream and have 2 other Carnival cruises booked in between.
Will you be sailing on the transatlantic cruise?
Speaking of breakfast…I’ve seen Belgium waffles on the menus provided by Bill. Does that mean they are also on the Lido deck?
JOHN PLEASE REPLY
July 24th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Hi John,
I’ve been away for a few days so have been catching up on blog reading.
As for the marijuana joke, Catherine Ebert said it all better than I ever could. In addition, just imagine how many people would have been upset had you not mentioned the “Coffee Houses”. I can just see a group of ultra-conservative people going in to have a cup of coffee & being shocked right out of their socks. And, of course, it would have been your fault. I’m pretty sure that some people, even before they leave home, make up their minds to find something to gripe about.
As for public smoking…………….please, please don’t make us smokers give up any thing more. There is currently a thread on Cruise Critic asking if smoke is an issue on board a Carnival ship. I was absolutely amazed at the number of reasonable non-smokers who said they never had a problem with those who smoked. Most, if not all, said that the smell of smoke was very offensive to them but that it was not all that hard to find a smoke free area inside & that in outside areas the smoke was quickly blown away by the wind. It’s just the moaners & groaners who scream the loudest.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I have enjoyed reading your blog. Can’t wait to see you live & in person on the Aug 6th sailing.
People are so PC & sensitive now but I can’t believe anyone would think that in your job/in the public eye/as a representative of Carnival cruise lines that you are foolish enough to condone or promote the use of drugs (whether you use them or not!) I personally would have laughed at the 2 older ladies in the coffee shop story.
I am hoping I can find a photo I took with you on a cruise long long ago so I can bring a copy to show you. We were both younger and probably thinner in the photo!
July 24th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Mark,
Too funny. I probably do know about too much about it.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Wonderful stories, John. And thank you for posting the information on the Glory’s big screen TV where I (computer handicapped as i am) was able to find it.
July 24th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
John,
Don’t need a British breakfast. Prefer American style as in Caribbean cruise. Thanks again for a great holiday in Feb on Carnival Freedom.
What about a Scottish breakfast ? Nothing like a tattie scone with a runny fried egg on top!!
Take care.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
well john.. she would have been alot madder if she and her “son” went into one of those coffee houses. you did the right thing to warn folks. lol (still crackin up)
July 25th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Hi John & Heidi,
Wonderful blog thingy. And don’t you change any of your talks or jokes. They are informative, funny, useful and if you ever left something out, there would probably be a bunch of people who would complain.
Take care,
Carol
July 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Ah, John, you are so incredibly funny. I have a problem that I must fix. I now have 8 cruises booked. I am addicted and cannot stop…What’s a girl to do?
Just out of curiosity, do you know if you will be launching the Dream? I know you cannot predict the future, but surely you must have an idea?
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