Guten Morgen from Warnemunde, Germany which last cruise was my favorite port and I am sure it will be today as well. It’s a beautiful day and as I write to you at 7:55am the temperature is already pushing the low 70’s………..I still have a cold by the way but this morning ………….that is the least of my problems ………………because I got myself and my staff in trouble with the locals…………….wunderbugger!
More on that in a second. First of all, let’s set the scene. This morning we have 1,100 people heading to Berlin on our private trains. They are off to see the Brandenburg gate, Checkpoint Charlie, the Wall and of course Berlin’s top tourist attraction, the Avalon Hotel where Michael Jackson proved what a great father he is.
The process to collect your tour sticker and train pass we have in place is excellent. Guests are called ashore where an army of staff hand out stickers and information and the German guides then escort you to the train. The guides in Germany by the way were voted by the guests ………….the best of any port last cruise. So, this morning at 6:15 am when we arrived myself, Heidi and seven Entertainment Staff members along with the five Shore Excursion staff all headed into the terminal building to meet with the tour operators to make sure everything was ready…………..and that’s when my problems began.
In each and every port the local authorities ………that’s Immigration and Customs have to do something which is known in the cruising world as “clear the ship”……….this means that they are happy with the paperwork that has been prepared by the Pursers. This includes a full passenger and crew manifest as well as visa information and environmental, ship and other information.
So, back to earlier today. The staff and I met in the lobby and walked off the gangway into the terminal building………and within seconds of stepping ashore I was greeted with the word “ACHTUNG.”…………..Now, I have no idea what this word means but I have heard it in the movies and I knew if I didn’t stop I may spend the next four years digging tunnels with Steve McQueen and Richard Attenborough.
So I stopped as did Razvan the Shore Excursion Manager, but the others who were ahead of me had not realized the command to stop was aimed at them …………so they just kept walking outside to meet the operators.
The man was 5 foot nothing and dressed in a pale green uniform and was really upset as he spat the word “passport” which I had with me of course. I handed it over and after confirming I was me and not ……..well………James Garner……..he told me in perfect English that the ship had yet to be cleared and I and the staff should not be ashore.
He then asked me the names of the other staff members who were dispersed outside the terminal building………he got a note pad out………..and waited for me to give up the names of my crew. How long under duress would I be able to hold out before I gave up the names of my wife and the staff……………I held out for as long as I could which was about three seconds actually and then I blabbed like a 5 year old ……….I gave their names, addresses, mobile phone numbers and would have given their shoe sizes if I had needed to.
Das Officer then told me to “Come mit him” and I did……….and I was taken into a small office. It was then that I noticed something about my new best friend. You know, in Europe we get used to seeing a steady erosion of border protection. You can drive through France where the border officers are usually on strike, through Belgium where there aren’t any because nothing has ever happened in Belgium. ……..if you do see any inspectors they are usually old …….very old …………but not here in Warnemunde as both Inspectors were talking in German and I cowered in a corner I noticed that both were lean, mean fighting machines with shaved heads and enough armor at their side to invade a small Caribbean Island.
Eventually, I was released and as I write I have no idea what will happen ………… will the ship be fined?………..will I be deported?…………..will I get in trouble for writing the above text?………..if you never hear from me again please………….send help…………..I am in the…………………..
Hi Everyone,
Stephanie here – That’s all we’ve heard of John this morning, so check back later to see if he is ok.
This week we’ll also be having some meetings regarding the Bloggers cruise so make sure you keep reading.
Thanks and kind regards
Stephanie
Filed under: Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Germany
Oh no……
John may have gotten his arse thrown in the brig and had the Splendor impounded.
The Flying Dutchman
LOL I really hope they are all ok. OPPPPPSSSSSSS!!!
I’ll check back later Que metida de pata! Don’t worry all your bloggers friends will visit you in Germany at least we are going to write ok?
Nanni
I don’t know how you say “Bubba” in German, but I do know what you and he will be doing in the German prision. How funny. Everyone wants to be 1st off the ship. I guess this time it wasn’t the place to be. I agree with hearing Achtung out of no where and picturing the movies.
John, sending you some jelly beans so you can blast yourself out of jail. Pat also believes you were the one that blew the hole in that Quantas 747 under your seat after eating jelly beans. Did you take a quick trip you didn’t tell us about.
Stephanie, more meetings? What are we doing rebuilding all of New Orleans?
BIG ED
HAVE BRUSH WILL PAINT READS THE CARD OF THE MAN
BIG ED……………. I think the Evil Krewe needs to go rescue John.
Now to worry until we hear from him. Stephanie. lets us know as soon as possible what is happening.
Carolyn……..the official worrier of the Krewe
I am, at this very moment, girding my loins in preparation for a rescue mission!!
How dare they take John! Don’t they know that they face possible invasion by thousands of rabid bloggers!!!
Sound the alarm, Stephanie!!! We’ll be headed toward Germany at a moments notice!! Well… not really but it does sound good, doesn’t it???
Host Mach
HeHeHeHe, John – that’s just like you – build up the suspense then shut us off cold. And Stephanie, you’re in on it! I certainly hope Carnival doesn’t have to bail out poor Heidi and the staff because they “invaded” Warnemunde!
I’ll be watching with baited breath all day, until we hear the rest of the story.
Diane from Texas
Wow, Stephanie, that’s kind of scary! I’ll keep checking and hope that everyone is just off having a good time and John is resting because of his cold. Its awful that they gave him such a hard time after just yesterday in his blog he gave them such credit for the best toilets in the world! They have no gratitude…
John, its good to know that you held out giving up the crew in the face of such harsh circumstances!
If you ever get this, where do you want the cake with the metal file inside sent?
p.s Dont bend over in the shower.
Oh John now you have gone and done it haven’t you? Old habits die hard. Some countries remember the old days and old ways. Please write soon. I am worried about you.
Jo
Official Call Up
All members of the DIRTY DOZEN of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe are called up for immediate duty. Mission top secret. Please bring all the SFJB you can carry on. Also pack your gas masks as the blast from the SFJB may be deadly to all in the area of release.
Captain BIG ED
PS. Stephanie, please arrange all transportation for the Krewe.
Omigod. John why didn’t you just say the magic words “AIDA Cruise Lines”? It worked before, didn’t it?
I’m proud of you for holding out a whole 3 seconds.
Ok, sign me up. Here we come to save the day! What’s the plan?
Carol
Ed…the EvilFrog is here at attention reporting for duty.
host mach is girding his loins? ??????? ????? bwahahahahahahahah
run john run!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Ed ,you need to call the roll.
I’m here
Carolyn …….I’ll stop and get the gas masks.
John, while shopping a couple days ago Pat spotted your Spotted Dick in the store. So she had to try your Spotted Dick. Well after one mouthful of your Spotted Dick she gave me the rest of it. All I can say is we will not be waisting $5 on your Spotted Dick again.
Pat said she will go back to the store and by all the Spotted Dick she can find and send it to you. Big Bubbawertz just might leave you alone if he knows you got Spotted Dick and could give it to him.
BIG ED
YAY!! An excuse to go to Germany!! I’m ready Captain Big ED! When are we leaving Stephanie??
Princess Nanni of the muchos huggos
official( and proud) member of of Big Ed Evil krewe
I just have a question for anyone who might know the answer. Have contacted Carnival but got no response as yet. We are on the next cruise (Aug. 6) and are trying to find out if the rooms have an iron provided or does the ship have any that they loan out. Otherwise we need to bring our own. Thanks to anyone who can answer this.
Oh NO!
Please don’t let anything happen to John! My son and I are escorting another group aboard the Splendor in 1 week, Aug 6th. My son was soooo excited to hear that John was going to be our cruise director again, or “MR TOILET” as was his self given title on our sailing of the Med in 2006.
My son was 6 then and John called him out in the opening “Welcome aboard” comentary. He asked his name, and where he was from…with the reply
“TREY from North Carolina” and you can imagine how John got a kick out of a 6 year olds accent. Then he commented “we have lots of trays in the Lido deck” picking on him…that’s when he said “TREY I also have a funny name which means more than one thing, some call me Mr. Toilet instead of John.”
So, please find Mr. Toilet and tell him Trey from North Carolina will be spending 12 days with him again, Aug 6th…he’ll be in “Melinda’s GROUP.”
Acht du Liebe!
Mein Gott In Heimel!
WO IS JOHANN?
Herr General “Big Ed” !
We ARE HERE!
DAS Tuckers
ELIZABETH & ARNOLD!
John I just have 4 words of advice SOAP ON A ROPE!
Wayne
No irons are allowed in cabins. There are irons in the laundry areas to use.
BIG ED
Wayne,
you are not allowed to take an iron on the ship. They have laundry rooms with washer, dryer, ironing board and iron
Carolyn…….. member of the Evil Krewe rescue squad
Wayne, Irons are in the laundry rooms for use. They will do in a pinch. Each floor has a laundry room to the best of my memory.
Ready to answer the call of duty Captain Ed.
Quote from the Doughnut himself – “Over the years I have said some unkind things about the Sausage Eaters, but from now on, and until I change my mind, the teasing will stop.”
That didnt last long did it……
John, us British have experience at sorting the Sausage Eaters out, just give us the dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dash & we will be there to liberate you
Wayne
On most of the Carnival Cruises I have been on the Irons are in the laundry rooms on each deck.
I believe it is still this way…
Elizabeth Tucker
Don’t worry John, your fearless bloggers will save you!
Cathy & Tom
John:
FINALLY … Josh’s 4 years of GERMAN is going to pay off!!!
Have no fear…. we will rescue you toot sweet!
(code name for Sugar Free Jelly Bean exposive apparatus!!!)
Linda (Lady In Waiting of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe
Domestically Challenged Goddess….but I have one HUGE (well actually more than one) GUN!!!
Well that is a fine mess….
I do hope that this missunderstanding is understood and nothing amiss happends…. will be praying for all of you.
the one
and only 1
Heidi-Beth
This id worst than the invasion by Iraq in Kuwait …….John being nicked by the crouts…..oh no …….. we are all for one and one for all…..lets attack andget our Dear John back aboard safely……what would w be without his bloggggggg
Cheers
Norman from sunny Malta
John, or next of kin,
I have a nephew who lives in the Black Forest area.
If you escape and get there, he will get you across the Alps into Italy. We can pick you up on the Freedom in October. Sounds like a great plan! Do you want Venice as a pick- up?
Good luck!
PennyB
Dear John, where are you? Don’t leave us hanging…It’s like “Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode” Hope to hear from you soon.
I keep watching the web cam incase we see John on the Pier….being escored back to the ship
Hurry back John…..
Debs
Thanks to all who responded to my question about irons on the ship.. My wife will be happy…
Wayne,
Tell her you are going to do the ironing and she will be happier! LOL!
John,
We are activating the rescue force! We’ll be there shortly…where is it that we are going again? Ed & Pat are sending the Spotted Dick with the files in it!
All I can say is watch out for Col. Klink!!!
John…
I’m late posting and reading… I’m just getting back from the firing range and tonight’s class at the academy… I’m armed and ready to help. Send up a flare or we’re coming in stealth, to save you!!!
I see a second post, I’ll go there now…
Until you’re safe, I’m on the ready,
Lambie
john you are a very very good man. i was on the new ship and it was very very very good. the shows where class and so was the food. jame was very very funney. gray got him into the pool. the singing was very good and class. i have to say the food again because the first time we went into the ship the first thing we saw was all the food it was very very very nice. and the tv in thr dido was very big. i loved it
Hi John/Heidi:
How crazy!
If its not one thing, its just going to be something else.
let’s hope this doesn’t happen again.
David