Are you ready for a bit of a ummm…rude start
Guest: ————— Ref: 002803361A
Cabin: ____Booking#: 7R18L2 Added-Changed: 08/23/08 – 08/24/08_____- COMPLAINT ABOUT CREW MEMBER READING PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINE
Mr. ———– approached the desk to say that he had been on a tour to Helsinki and that a staff member had been reading a pornographic magazine on the coach. The guests said he was very religious and found this very upsetting. Guest stated the crew members name was ________ . Purser apologized and said that his comments would be forwarded to the Cruise Director and the Hotel Director.Letter of apology sent and follow up from CD.
Well, this had my blood boiling and wouldn’t you know it, just before bedtime as well. I know this staff member and I was very surprised that he would be reading such a thing and really wanted to check this out for myself and see what the story was. I won’t mention his name but he was on the tour to assist the guests as well as report back on the guide and the tours structure ………. something we do a lot for quality control purposes.
So, this morning I called the staff member and he came up to the office and to cut a long story short he wasn’t reading a pornographic magazine, he was reading something called GQ and FHM …………. men’s magazines.
I am looking at the FHM magazine which is here on my desk. It says it has a circulation of 500,000 and amongst the pages about fashion, gadgets and sport you can feast your eyes on a horse with two extra legs growing out of its neck, and a man who was born with his head on back to front.
Also, there is a boy of 9 who has been accepted into Princeton which I guess is a university, a bloke with testicles the size of two water melons and a man with what appears to be a sack of red potatoes growing out of his face.
I can see though why the guest is upset because there are also photos of women in various states of undress……..and some men as well all of which seem to be staring at something in the distance ……..probably at the person who shoved a cucumber down the front of their underpants.
On the cover of the magazine is some woman from a program called Grey Anatomy who for some reason has forgotten to put her clothes on…………this is very strange because she is photographed cooking in her kitchen…………something usually done clothed. I wonder if Carnival would be interested of taking a photo of me ….. cooking at home………..naked…………making spotted dick.
Fine, but this kind of stuff doesn’t really work on a tour bus. I mean, it is not right to be looking at photos of a man with elephantiasis when you have a stranger, who may be a nun, sitting next to you.
And it is no good turning the page because whoa, it’s a double-page spread of Christina Agulirathingy wearing nothing but a coating of baby oil…….holding a small dog……..called Lucky……damn right he is.
I explained to the staff member that – although the magazines contained articles about Armani suits and Ferraris – it simply was not correct to read such magazines in front of guests. Would you pull out the Playboy centerfold and nod appreciatively I asked him?…….”No, of course, not,” he said.
Precisely. And it’s no different with FHM and GQ then, the later having a center fold of some Russian tennis player who is wearing just a tennis racket.
Anyway, the staff member and I called the guest together. We explained that they were the male versions of Crapmopolitan, Vague and Helle. The guest understood and I have sent a little I am sorry gift to his cabin. The magazines have been confiscated by me and the staff member has also written a personal apology to the guest ……he was very silly to read this in front of the guests………and he knows it.
So, good morning from St. Petersburg where it’s now 8:35 am and we already have 2,400 or so guests ashore. The lines at Immigration were there, they were long at times but they were controlled and having learned from past cruises I think I did a much better job in preempting the guests to expect these delays. I did a very bad job on this the first few voyages and have had to learn to lower guests’ expectations with regard to the debarkation process here.
It’s not always easy to stand on stage and publicly admit that something negative is going to happen…………I have now learned to do this and it has helped immensely. The weather so far is fine with no sign of the heavy showers that were forecast……….I hope that stays the same all day. This is a beautiful city and I hope I get a chance one more time to have a look around………….we only have one more call after this so I had better make it soon.
St. Petersburg is by far the most popular port and it should be on everyone’s bucket thingy list to see.
I mentioned the concerns we have with some of the larger Asian groups yesterday. Well, on the positive side I have to say how they love to dance. The dance floors in all the lounges are packed each and every night and our dance classes are as popular as they have ever been.
We have also started cooking demonstrations in the Supper Club with our chefs preparing delights in front of a live audience. This is very popular and so much so that we now have to take reservations for these events. They are then filmed and played on the TV’s for other guests to enjoy. This is also a very popular event for our chef’s as well.
Often they are stifled into cooking only what is on the menu. I would love to see our Steakhouse have a ” Open Chef ” night where the regular menu is replaced by whatever the chef’s from India, Asia and Europe want to cook……….I have a feeling this would be terrifically popular……………what do you think?
Time for a few photos. Here are some of the Kronenburg Palace in Copenhagen. I know we are in Russia but I am playing catch up with the photos as I have so many to post.
Let us have a read of a very frank and honest interview with Big Tex. He is a big bloke with a
big heart and big talent and it is obvious why he is so popular.
1. Can you tell us which ship you currently are on and when you are due to leave.
I am on the Carnival Fantasy until February of 2009 (I’ll be leaving with the bloggers) and in April I will take over the reins as the Cruise Director on the Carnival Valor.
2. Carnival Cruise Directors come from very diverse backgrounds. Some have entertainment experience, some, like me have none. Can you tell us about your background and how you ended up with the best job in the world.I worked my way through college doing radio which has helped with the public speaking side of things. Along the way I waited tables, sold insurance, and even spun discs at some of Amarillo’s finest gentlemen’s club (I was a broke college kid, I needed the money). To say that I stumbled into the job would be an understatement. I cruised on the Celebration for a college graduation present. I thought it was fantastic so I decided to join up. I figured that I would only do a few months and then get a “real job” on land. Six years later I’m still here. Carnival keeps paying me so I keep showing up.
3. Before we talk about some of your favorite parts of the job, lets talk about the areas behind the scenes……….the things guests never see. Tell us about what a Cruise Director does when he or she is not on the stage but keeps you just as busy.Probably one my biggest time consumers is managing the Entertainment Staff. As a “normal” person, my thinking is very linear. If you want to start at Point A and get to Point C, then you need to go through Point B first. Entertainers are not “normal” people. There thinking is very scattered. If you start at Point A and you want to get to Point C, then you can get there anyway you feel like. That’s not to say the staff aren’t intelligent, because they are. It’s just that they think with the other side of their brain. Another thing most people don’t get to see are the conversations with guests who have issues with various aspects of their cruise. As the Cruise Director, many people think that I am responsible for EVERYTHING on the ship. And while I try my best to listen to and solve their problems, there are many times that there is literally NOTHING I can do to fix it. These situations can be very frustrating for our guests and even more so for me. I tend to take things personally and because of that, the job can be very trying sometimes.
4. A Cruise Director is happiest when performing or being with guests. Can you tell us two activities or events that you would call your signature items………events that make you stand out from the crowd,I have to say the one thing I’m known for is my dancing ability. It has to be the most talked about thing I do onboard. In fact, you can even see it on Youtube. The dances began with my good friend Bubba and when he started his own show, I stole his moves. I’ve seen Chris do the dances and I have to say that while he was entertaining, he was nowhere near my level of performance. The only really tough thing about doing the dances is how much I sweat. I’m 300 lbs and when I finish dancing I’m sweating like John Edwards at a paternity test. I also find that people love the Mardi Gras Party. It’s simply one of the biggest events each and every cruise here on the Fantasy. And I host every single one of them.
5. What has been your most challenging moment as Cruise Director so far
The one thing that sticks in my mind the most was when the Celebration ran aground in Nassau. I was in the last month of 9-month long contract. I was worn and tired and had only been doing the job for less than a year, so needless to say, I was very inexperienced. The ship was pulling into Nassau Harbor at noon (which meant EVERYONE was watching from the open decks) when she struck the sand beneath us and hit “soft aground”. The propeller was damaged (two of the flukes broke off), the ship was crippled and we had to hobble back to Jacksonville. Besides the obvious disappointment and anger from the guests, the situation was made even worse when one of the most Senior Managers in Miami gave me his take on the situation. I’ll paraphrase the phone call because I was too shaky to remember it word for word. Basically, I was told – This is a bad thing, as the Cruise Director, you’re job is turn bad things into good things. That’s how we know whether or not you’re a good Cruise Director. If you can’t turn this negative into a positive, then maybe we don’t need you as a Cruise Director after all. The conversation couldn’t have lasted for more than 30 seconds but it seemed like an eternity. It may seem harsh to some people, but it focused me on the task at hand. I got some advice from some people I trusted (and yes, the author of this blog was one of them) and took care of business. I must have done well, because I got my full promotion about 3 months later.
6. And, your most rewarding
I get my most rewarding moments every day. Literally, every day someone tells me how much they’re enjoying themselves. They come up to take photos, shake my hand, tell me how much they enjoyed me, and on and on and on. These are things that keep me coming back, and that’s one thing I would like to mention to people out there. Don’t be afraid to talk to the crew on the ship, and if you think they’re doing a good job, tell them. Nothing will make a crewmember’s day more, than knowing that they’ve helped one of our guests have a memorable and wonderful experience.7. On your current ship can you tell us about your itinerary and can you recommend one must do excursion from each port of call
The ship sails from New Orleans (currently Mobile because of a problem in the Mississippi River) and does year-round 4 and 5 day cruises to Cozumel and Progreso. Let me start by saying that in Progreso, you it’s highly recommended that you take an excursion. No one will force you, or scare you into it but for those who are not savvy travelers, you will find Progreso a bit limited. There are some amazing adventures to be had (Chichen Itza Mayan Ruins – which is one of the
Seven Wonders of the World), there are peaceful getaways (Progreso Resort Beach Break) and there are some crazy parties (Corona Beach Break), but whatever you do, make sure you take an excursion. I’ve never understood why people will spend thousands on a cruise, but won’t enjoy their ports because they don’t want to spend a couple hundred extra on tours for the family. In Texas we would say “penny smart and dollar foolish”.Cozumel is, in my opinion, the crown jewel of the Caribbean. There are dozens of tours, but nothing like Jeep and Buggy tours that take you over to the eastern side of the island, because that is where Cozumel’s raw, natural beauty is at its purest form. In the times that we live in, every dollar counts, especially the vacation dollar. Why not get every last cent out of it. Simply put, Shore Excursions are the best value around.
8. Why, in your opinion is Carnival…………..the world’s most popular cruise lineBecause a Carnival cruise doesn’t focus on the ship. It focuses on the people. When people take a Carnival vacation there’s heart and soul, not a just a big chunk of steel.
9. Is there a ship in the fleet you would love to be Cruise Director of that you have yet to be so and what port of call would you like to visit that you have not so far in your careerI would, at some point, love to be on a ship out of Galveston. It just seems like a proper thing to do for someone named “Big Tex”. As far as a port of call is concerned most people have the same thought, Alaska and Europe. I’m no different than most.
10. Every CD has a story to tell from their time onboard. What’s your most recent funny, sad or inspirational story you can share with usIt’s not recent, but when I first started with Carnival (only a couple of weeks into my career) I was asked to be the DJ on the nude cruise. Essentially, it was a full ship of nothing but naked people, and when you hear people say “It’s everyone you probably DON’T want or need to see naked”, they are not kidding. There are two people that I will never forget from that cruise though. The first was a fellow with a bit of musical skill. There was a talent show on that cruise and there are certain things that once they’re in your brain, they’re not coming out. One such image, a naked man playing the trumpet, wearing only a baseball cap, tennis shoes and a fanny pack (where else was he going to keep his Sail & Sign Card). Once that’s etched into your brain, you will never forget it. The other was somebody’s Grandmother no doubt. She was about 80, loved to dance and was the first one on the floor and the last one off…every night. Her favorite place to dance…right in front of the DJ Booth. Her favorite outfit…black high heels, pink ruffled ankle socks — and nothing else. Why does such a lady stick in my mind, because when you get that age, not only does the top stuff start to sag, but the bottom stuff does too. It looked like she had a bloodhound in a scissor lock.
11. Finally………….pick a Cruise Director table ……………..you are
hosting a table at dinner onboard the carnival Dream………what’s for dinner — who do you invite?APPETIZER – Bacon wrapped scallops (Everything tastes better with some pig on it.)
MAIN COURSE – Bacon wrapped Filet Mignon, with bacon wrapped asparagus and a loaded baked potato with cheese, butter, sour cream and bacon. (Noticing a theme here?)
DESERT – Bacon Ice Cream (Yes it exists, you can order it online.)
SOMEONE FROM THE CRUISE INDUSTRY – My wife (She’s the Dance Captain.)
SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD – Will Farrell (He’d have to do all his lines from Anchorman.)
YOUR FAVORITE ACTRESS – Scarlett Johansson (For two BIG reasons.)
YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR – Jack Nicholson (You can’t handle the truth.)
YOUR FAVORITE MUSICIAN – Willie Nelson (I have about 20 of his albums.)
AND SOMEONE FROM HISTORY YOU WISHED YOU HAD MET – Winston Churchill (One of the toughest men to walk the face of the earth.)
Great interview mate and for those of us who are coming on the Bloggers Cruise we will all be enjoying some fun with him ……….. maybe I will even get up and do the dances with him.
Oh, I forgot to tell you yesterday……I am leaving the ship on August 29 and taking some vacation time. I will return to the Carnival Splendor on August 30. …………so that gives me……..ummm……..one night. And it’s not really vacation. I leave Amsterdam at noon which means I won’t be home until 4 pm. At 5 pm I have my yearly check up at the diabetic clinic and there should just be enough time for a Yorkshire pudding with Mum and Dad before driving back to Dover to rejoin the ship by 11 am.
Normally, I would not do this but as the flight from Amsterdam to London is only 45 minutes and the ship is Dover the next morning it seems silly not to. Doctor Basu has been our family physician for many years and I would like him to check me over as he has done these past years. We have a brilliant young Doctor here onboard in Jason Wolfe but I have the chance to see my Doc so……….why not.
Heidi will remain onboard and in charge for the one evening. Also, her Mum will join the vessel in Amsterdam to sail with us the following cruise. Since Heidi’s Dad passed away I try and make sure that they spend as much time together as they can so it will be nice for Mum and daughter to sail together and for Mum to see what a wonderful job Heidi does here onboard.
So, the only drawback to all of this is that I have to fly which as frequent readers of the blog will know is something I hate to do. I was mentioning this to my mate Alan today who told me that since his miraculous recovery he has decided to “do more.” and henceforth he is going to learn to fly.
While I think it’s a great thing for Alan to do and I am sure the women of the UK prefer him to be as far away from them as possible………It is something I could never do. The pictures of the tragic air disaster in Madrid, Spain are thank goodness very rare and my heart aches for the loss of so many.
Usually, when you hear of a plane crash it is usually associated with a private aircraft flown by someone who has just received their pilot’s license flying a plane the size of a Mini Cooper.
Strangely, however, it’s not a fear of dying that puts me off the idea of private aviation. It’s the surefire knowledge that nothing in the world is likely to be quite so boring and pointless………except maybe golf.
The idea of piloting your own helicopter or light aircraft, among the clouds and the linnets, far above the jams and the pressure, is an appealing prospect for anyone who doesn’t know what to do with his money.
Better still, you might imagine that you could enliven your journey by swooping underneath low bridges, dive-bombing fields of cattle, looping the loop over friends’ houses and landing for the hell of it in beauty spots and bird sanctuaries.
This may be possible in Australia’s outback or Kenya’s majestic plains. But unfortunately, if you tried that at home, skimming my mate Alan’s house, for instance, a man with a beard and a clipboard would come round and take your license away.
When you want a driving license, all you have to do is demonstrate to a man in beige trousers that you can parallel park. But when you want a license to fly, you must demonstrate to the entire Federal Aviation Authority that you are prepared to spend several months with your nose in various text books on meteorology and aerodynamics.
Then you have to spend more months learning how to use a radio. Why? I know already. You just press various buttons until someone comes over the speaker. Then you tell him what you want.
Oh no you don’t. You have to talk in a stupid code, saying “over” when you’ve finished speaking for the moment and “out” when you’ve finished altogether. Why? When I ring the plumber or the local Indian restaurant, I am able to convey the nature of my request perfectly well using English. So why when I’m in a plane do I have to talk a load of bollocks? Then you have to talk in that Pathetic Alphabet thingy. I can remember Alpha, and Charlie but I have no idea what the other letters are……..D is Donald………and I think B is bugger.
“Hello, it’s John. Is it all right to land?” is a much easier way of saying, “Cleveland Tower, this is Alpha Donald Bugger on 7654.190 requesting a westerly approach to runway 21.”
But private pilots love all this sort of stuff. They love doing preflight checks, tapping dials and making sure that their fuel hasn’t frozen and that their flaps are loose.
They never think: “I bought this plane to make my life more convenient but in the time I’ve spent checking it, I could have driven to Chicago.” And nor do they ever think: “If these checks are so foolproof, how come that in the western United States, more small planes fall out of the sky than rain drops.”
No really. Google just told me that in North America, more than one person a day is killed in private plane crashes. Light aircraft are as Google told me called “doctor killers.”
And you know what. Hardly anyone with a plane ever uses it to go somewhere useful. Instead, they take the plane from their flying club headquarters to another flying club headquarters where they have a toasted cheese sandwich, put on their brown leather jacket with the white fur collar and then they fly home again.
And while they’re flying around, spoiling the peace and quiet for everyone on the ground, they are having absolutely no fun whatsoever. This is because they are at 3,000 feet, where 100mph feels like you’re standing still.
So, the recipe for flying then. You drive to an airfield, check your plane for two hours, take off, sit still, speak gibberish into a radio, land, eat cheese and then sit still again till you’re home again. Repeat until one day you hear a loud bang.
Well, just before I go I have to tell you I just watched the closing ceremony of the Olympics…………wow……….it was spectacular full of emotion, incredible sets, a cast of 15,000 and surely a worthy end to what has been an Olympics to remember……………….right up to the bit about London.
Just in case the viewers had any doubts we were in the London section they prefabricated rain with a bunch of dancers swanning around holding umbrellas………..oh spiffing………that’s what we want the world to think of for 2012, watching the games in the pouring rain.
Then, one hoped for a fleet of Rolls Royce’s to appear carrying the Queen and the Royal Family surrounded by The Blues and Royals resplendent on their mighty white steeds their silver armor gleaming under the spotlights. Behind this we expected to see the British greats of screen and stage………perhaps Dame Judy Dench, Sean Connery, Sir Michael Caine, Dame Helen Mirren, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Sir Paul McCartney………..did we get this ………. ummm ……..no.
We got a London Bus decorated with some green felt on which stood Leona Lewis……………who…………..well, exactly. She won the UK Idol thingy last year and made Simon Bowell even more money. So, no Dame Shirley Bassey, no Rod Stewart, no Sir Elton John…………we got someone on a bus singing a song nobody new sung by someone who made 80,000 people in the stadium and billions around the world go “who”…….all at the same time……..no wonder the Chinese Prime Minister looked startled when 80,000 people said his name all at once.
Next to Leona Whois was Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin………whose strange and bizarre facial expressions can only have come from the fact that he had just smoked some Tiger Penis before coming out.
Finally, off the bus stepped David Beckham who had no idea what the big red thing he was traveling on was
“What’s that Victoria “….”
“Oh, Dave, that’s a bus, it’s what poor people use”
The UK has 4 years to prepare something to rival Beijing ………………. oh bugger.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi.
Filed under: Destinations, Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: 2012 Olympics, Carnival Splendor, London
So I guess you won’t be flying with Alan. This time you won’t be joining him on this adventure. I don’t blame you.
One day vacation running around ? Great..
I’m happy for Heidi though.
I like Big Tex, he has the same idea that I have about what makes Carnival what it is. I almost use the same words when I was explaining to you the difference between my vacation on the Freedom and the one on the AOS only just a month apart . Remember?
I don’t like a impressive but hollow piece of steel it has to have a heart.
Nanni
Hi, I haven’t seen the closing ceremony yet and will have to wait until this evening to do so. (It’s two pm on Sunday here in Florida.) I’m sure it was fantstic show and will be a hard act for London to follow. China spent so much money on this that no other country should even try to outdo them!
Fred and Ginger sound like a lovely couple LOL. You are a saint to put up with them and listen to the boring stuff he tells you. Definately better you than me.
Larry and I were wondering if you would be the CD on the Splendor for the four day cruise on Nov. 17th. I tried to figure it out when you told your schedule but got confused. Please reply if you know the answer
My computor has gone crazy! When I try to correct a mistake the next letter is erased. I’ve typed this over three times and I quit. Sorry about some words that spelled in a strangemannor. Jeri
Good day, my friend!!
I got a great chuckle from the interview with Big Tex! He’s going to be wonderful on the Blogger’s Cruise!!! Unfortunately… the metal image of a naked trumpet player keeps resurfacing… ugh…
The pictures from the Kronenburg Palace in Copenhagen are FANTASTIC!! I’m glad you elected to include them.
Regarding the flying thing… I learned how to fly when I was 13. Far to young to drive and far too stupid to realize what I was getting myself into. Yes, preflight inspections take considerable time and yes folks often fly off to somewhere to by a three dollar hamburger that end up costing them two hundred dollars but there is a reward. For that period of time you get to be free… free of gravity… free of the daily grind… free to enjoy the beauty that God created all around us.
Flying is more an emotional thing than it is a practical thing. Flying is good for the soul, if not the wallet.
Please tell Alan that I think he’s doing a perfectly grand thing and I’m looking forward to talking flying with him on the Blogger’s Cruise!!
All the best to the lovely Heidi and, of course, to the amazingly talented Stephanie!!!
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
Dear John Loved the interview with Big Tex a man after my own heart.Pig should be its own food group.I’m sure the all nude cruise will always stay in his mind as well. For good are bad.Tell Alan to be careful and I hope you have a good doctors visit.Never a fun thing to do.Best regards to Heidi and Stephanie p.s.Loved the pictures as well. Gary and Bug
thanks for the laughs dude! have a lovely day my friend!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Good afternoon John,
I am not a prude, but I guess I may have been upset if I had seen a employee reading such a magazine. I am sure the employee feels really bad. We all think that people should feel the way we do about certain things, but that is just not the case.
I was really worried when you said you were going on vacation on August 30, but then for only one day. It appears it is all about me. I hope your doctors appointment goes well, we want you to be in good health. You are very important to a lot of people.
Loved your pictures. I think that is one of the best parts of a vacation, getting the pictures and remembering that fabulous vacation.
Keep smiling sweet John, can not wait to meet you.
Hi John, have to agree with Big Tex about having Scarlett Johansson over for dinner. Anywho, hope you enjoy your little ‘vacation’/flight from Amsterdam to Dover, and that you’ll have a clean bill of health! And finally, because I was forced to read Hamlet for a class last year, I appreciate the Copenhagen pictures.
I think having a feature night in the Supper Club to showcase the unique talents of one of the chefs would be a great idea! I’d love to be able to experience authentic cuisine while giving the chef an opportunity to shine.
Hi John, I wish that my grandaughter could find a BF that is as caring and considerate as you are, Unfortunately, she hasn’t and we are very displeased with her chose of a finace …… bet she’s in LOVE…. BUGGER
I hope your Mum-in-law knows what a jewel she has for a son-in-law. Nuf said fur you git the big head.
Good luck on your physical, I pray that you have lost a significant amount of weight and that has improved you health and diabetes.
I can not wait to meet Big Tex, he sounds very entertaining. He also sounds like he has a little bit of your personality and caring for the passengers.
I suppose Jaimie is still the one taking the pictures in which case they are spectacular. Doing a great job.
We just returned from a few days at the race track and we’re both tired. Now we can start the countdown until out cruise. 28 days and counting We need the rest.
I still repeat, on a ship you get a life preserver and assigned a life boat. On a plane they don’t even give you a parachute, so I’ll just continue to cruise where I can get to the ships by traveling in our car.
Did I miss what Fred and Ginger, the deceased wife, had planned in Russia? Guess I need to go back and re read the blogs.
Countess Carolyn…….one tired race fan, but happy with the driver that won ……..:-)
Dunno if any one answered, but in the TV series Cannon, Frank Cannon (William Conrad) drove a Lincoln Continental Mark IV.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/73MarkIV.jpg/800px-73MarkIV.jpg
I hope someone can answer this question, or at least offer an opinion. We are looking forward to a great cruise on the Carnival Spirit soon and have downloaded and printed our cruise documents and luggage tags. No way are the luggage tags going to survive being wrestled on and off 2 airplanes and the ship. We’ve already read about other passengers losing their luggage because the tags tore off, So we laminated them. Are the bar codes readable (scannable) through the plastic? Will Homeland Security cuff us and lock us up for altering our luggage tags? Or will the entire Spirit crew elevate us to sainthood for our brilliant idea?
John:
D is for Delta. I know this because we had a plane and DW (Delta Whiskey) was part of the aircraft id number.
We have sailed with Big Tex many times. First as a Social Host twice and then as a Cruise Director 3 times.
DJ holds Big Tex in very high esteem since the night of the Captain’s party.
Big Tex was sitting at our table chatting when Funship Freddie headed our way. Big Tex immediately stood up and “directed” Funship Freddie the other direction. This made Big Tex DJ’s instant hero!!
We look forward to sailing with him in October.
(after the Evolutions of Fun) Rozwin (the Karaoke host we just sailed with on the Legend) is suppose to be there as well. We will have GREAT fun!!!
We are about to start our cruising “busy season”.
We have the Ecstacy Sept 1st, the Fantasy Oct 9th, the Splendor Nov 17th and the Freedom Nov 22nd.
Hope you get a good report from the doctor!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
i would like to challenge a statement made in tex’s interview…”he dances better than me”
I don’t think so….and challenge you….you have been challenged sir.
“washing the dog” and 30 paces.
A big man dance off.
i would like to challenge a statement made in tex’s interview…..”he dances better than me.”
I don’t think so….and challenge you….you have been challenged sir.
“washing the dog” and 30 paces.
a big man dance off.
John – WOOO-HOOO!!! (If you’ll pardon the enthusiasm, we just returned from our Carnival Victory cruise with Malcolm and had a wonderful time). Just when I figured I’d never get a chance to cruise with you I saw your “Grand Tour” schedule and found that you’re sailing Glory on 14 February (see, I did the date correctly), and we’re booked on this cruise!
John,
Perhaps we should take Big Tex’ advice and make the Jeep/Buggy tour of the eastern coast of Cozumel the official BLOG2NOLA excursion.
Phil & Liz
Hello John, did Fred and his corpse make it back on board today? Mabey the ship has one of those AED’s you could use to put some life back in her. I wanted to comment on your interview with Karl with a K. Me and my Girlfreind will be doing our wedding cruise next April on the Liberty, I think our sailing will be the one when you come onboard in Grand Cayman. We were on the Liberty with Karl on July 26th. We just want to know where Karl is going next, we are hopeing he will still be on the Liberty, if not who will be the CD and where will Karl be? It would sure help to decide which cruise well be our weeding one. Thanks a bunch if you can help us with that. We actually sailed with you on a Cruise Critic group cruise with Host Randy in April of 06 on the Liberty and we had a blast.
Thanks a Bunch Cheerio
Jeff with a J (in VA)
Ooooops… forgot to mention… The guest chef thingy for the supper clubs is an EXCELLENT idea!
I’m sure that ANY chef would drool at the chance to prepare a menu that would highlight their particular take on food…
Ciao!!
Mach
Loved the interview with Big Tex. He was part of Todd’s entertainment staff when we sailed on the Miracle a few years back. We really enjoyed his sense of humor AND, yes his dancing. So glad he will be the CD on the blogger’s cruise. Looking forward to Big Tex doubling the laughs we were already expecting.
John, I’m recording the closing ceremonies as we speak. I canNOT wait to see Jimmy Page…it will be a highlight of the Beijing Olympics for me…boy, could the London Olympics provide some incredible musical entertainment during their opening and closing ceremonies. Thanks to your spoiler I’ll be sure to actually watch what I recorded and not fast forward through too much so I don’t miss the Page treat.
Take care,
Lisa and George
A guest was upset because someone was reading FHM?!?! I’m so sick and tired of these uptight, humorless, easily-offended, politically correct nimrods. But they seem to be everywhere. I feel like I’m the last person who is not offended by anything. I guess that’s not true, uptight, humorless, easily-offended, politically correct nimrods offend me.
Jeff
John – I love your ‘Open Chef’ night idea. That is something everyone in the Carnival Corp fleet should adopt. I would really like to see what these people would come up with.
By the way, good luck at the diabetic clinic.
John…
Asian Food, Indian Food…
EXCELLENT… let the chefs have their way!!! I have special ordered Indian food on the Ecstasy… WONDERFUL!!! OUTSTANDING!!!
Flying… Private planes… small aircraft… Not a lot of experience on them, but any chance I have, I’d do it in a heart beat!!! Love the feeling of being “right there.”
BIG TEX… I look forward to meeting you on Bloggers 09!!!
God Bless you John! Heidi have a great cruise with Mum!! John, my prayers and wishes for your Dr. visit. May he find whatever there is to find and comfort your mind with a clean bill of health!!! Are you prepared for his report??? He will tell you what’s good for you!! I still look forward to seeing less of you!!! I’ve been doing my part…
Lambie
Good luck at your doctor’s appointment! Hope the numbers are improving and you feel very well. I can appreciate your daily struggle with this D-thing.
Nice that Heidi will be able to show her mother how her life is on board the ship. Good bonding time!
John,
After reading Big Tex’s interview and Bubba’s response, can we hope for a “Big Man Dance Off” on the Bloggers Cruise?
Pat
InMn253
Good evening John. I’m getting very at ease now saying your name. Tex sounds like the man I’d like to have as the CD on my cruise except you my friend. Some day, some day, some day. I;m so happy that you think about Heidi’s mum. You are probably the best son – in – law she has ever had. It also make Heidi very proud of her husband. Way to go my friend. Ciao.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Love your description of the closing ceremonies and your comments on private aviation. To me the only thing crazier than flying your own plane is jumping out of one (that isn’t on fire).
I’m a big fan of Anthony Bourdain and your writings reminds me of him.
Please keep it coming because I’m hooked now.
Thanks
I haven’t yet had the pleasure of Big Tex as a CD on any of my sailings, but am no looking forward to him on the Bloggers cruise!! Don’t know how many times I have said put bacon on it and I will eat it! Can’t wait.
Hey no fair.
I thought from the blog title you had booked the boys from Scarborough for the bloggers cruise.
John, Please answer:
I would like to take Bubba a little something when we sail on the 3rd. Do you have any suggestions? Something that he may not have access to, but he would enjoy.
I love laughing at your blogs — can’t wait to meet you in February!
I watched the closing ceremony as well and was “amused” at the London hand off. I would have expected more but then it was Bejing’s show I guess–your turn is coming.
Wow a whole day of vacation and you get to spend it being poked and proded–I’m really glad I don’t have your job. Hope you enjoy the time with your mum and dad though. How nice for Heidi to have her mum with her on the next cruise. I hope they have a good time.
Great photo of Hamlet! It’s late…more tomorrow.
Great interview with Big Tex…Please say hello to Larry “the Cable guy”St.Louis one of the friendliest bartenders at sea onboard the Fantasy !!! Hi Larry !!!! “GitRDone” !!!
Mark Amanda Catie
We’ll see you August 30th. It’s been such fun getting to know you ahead of our “to be” great trip! We are from Bakersfield, California and traveling with 10. We will try hard not to top S. nob or Fred and Ginger! But you never know!!!!! Thanks for the fun! Molly
In regards to the magazine issue. When I was last on a Carnival ship these types magazines for men and their female counterparts were sold in the on-board gift shop.
If a crew member could consume a snack purchased from the gift shop, then could they not read the type of magazine in question which was purchased from the gift shop?
As well would the guest have complained if it had been a female reading a magazine geared towards women..or if a fellow guest had been reading it.. most likely not.
My point is that everyday on the bus, on the subway or even en-rout via coach everyday people enjoy reading their choice of publications. If we take this choice away from them then are we not in some way infringing on someones rights & freedoms.
Worst of all was the Mayor of London–what a beautiful purple tie. Too bad his suit doesn’t fit!
Oh my, Fred and Ginger! I think in Iowa we all know at least one couple similar to Fred and Ginger! So funny! Thanks for reminding me to bring my carpet bag for our cruise on 8-30-08. We are excited as we leave for London on 8-28-08. Can’t wait to get on the ship. One question, John, have you toured the castle in Dover? Thinking of doing this prior to the cruise. Wanted to find out what it is like prior to making the decision to tour it. Hope that you enjoyed the pig poop that we brought for you last year from Iowa. If you can think of anything that you would like from Iowa please let us know as soon as possible so we can pick it up. Otherwise you could end up with something similar to the pig poop! Just kidding! See you soon! Bob and Cathy Ebert.
Hi Patricia Gregory,
Do you really attach the ships luggage tags on your departure airport? You do get airlines luggage tags regarding your flight. Those won`t be lost.
About ships tags:
I always get access to my luggage after flight arrival even using porters and then attach my ships tags.
Dropping my luggage off personally after transfer to the ship.
I am using plastic bags to deep freeze food.
I cut them down to the needed size close the bag using Tape ,use a holepuncher and attach to luggage using cable straps (I did not find the right word inside my dictionary).I do have a copy inside my luggage. I never lost such a self produced luggage tag/luggage.
Your system is a bit more advanced, but the same.
If Homeland Security does really want to see you in person the can read your name.
Yours
Ralf
John, I am glad that you confiscated the poor crew member’s mags, and are enjoying reading them and putting them to good use.
Incidentally, “bare naked ladies” are also a plant around here . . . a bulb . . . it shoots up leaves, the leaves die, and then a few weeks later shoots up flowers, seemingly from nowhere.
So, the mystery continues, you didn’t say if you would still be on the Splendor for Thanksgiving week or not, you did say you would be back home in December, and that you were making the crossover on the Splendor, but left blank the few weeks in November, PLEASE LET US KNOW SOON, OK? Linda
Hi John.
Last year in Alaska I took an excursion on a float plane – it was spectacular! We flew right over our cruise ship, wound between mountains and saw cliff edges so close we thought the wing tips would touch, then landed on a creek and ate locally caught crab.
I didn’t think about safety – I just enjoyed the excursion – and I’m glad I went. Because I’m more “built for comfort” than “built compact” I got the front seat alongside the pilot, and got a great video of the whole flight.
A few weeks later, one of the same planes crashed, killing everyone on board. Maybe if that had happened first, I might not have gone. But I still cruise, even after the incidents on Star Princess and Crown Princess – in fact I’m off on Star Princess to Alaska in 2 weeks.
It’s inevitable that each and every one of us will die. There’s no point worrying about it. Today’s for living. Hopefully tomorrow will be for living too.
I lost a good friend on the morning of his 65th birthday. His last day at work, he went downstairs to make a cup of tea, and that was that. He’d been looking forward to travelling a lot more during his retirement.
That’s what made my mind up. I’m not waiting till my retirement. I’ll enjoy every day as it comes. I’m not putting off enjoying myself.
After all – has anyone’s last words been “I wish I’d spent more time at work”…… ?
Hi John! Great blog.
At the moment I am training to become a commercial pilot. I can see you point about it being maybe a little boring, but, it makes great money!! I too watched the closing ceremony and although the London segement was a bit of a disaster overall, I thought that Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page were fantastic. Just to let you know, Lewis is the biggest selling artist in the world right now, including China!
Phew!!! You scared me there John with the Vacation bit!
We are so looking forward to getting on the Splendor and cruising with you Saturday!!!
We leave for London Wednesday and will be seeing you very, very soon!
Charles and Patricia
Fantastic idea, Chef’s Choice one night in the supper club. Easy to publicize a menu in advance, because the food will have to be brought on board earlier? It’s a night that I would book if I had an idea of what the menu might include.
Whoever gets credit for the pictures, they were great!
John
I had a quick question.
Does Carnival have to approve a cruise directors skit and then they have to stick to it?
We have had 4 cruises now that have been identical. Every joke, every show, every top 10 list, etc…..
We just went on the Ecstasy with Big Tex and I mean every word / joke / song, was the same, no creativity after doing the same show for over a year.
All the cruises were over a year apart. Obviously the duplication was only twice but the first one we even had the same juggler, same comedians flown in, etc….. not a thing different.
The good news is we had enough drinks that it was still fun and laughed at the jokes.
But I do wonder how much control someone is taking at the top.
One more comment was we were on a Carnival cruise that had REO Speedwagon, STYX and Journey on the cruise doing concerts and they would not allow any outside songs on the decks, and we all wanted to hear the groups that were on board……… someone wanted to control the music but hey were playing Def Lepard and various other rock bands.
Curious
Troy
John, good luck on your doctors app.Hopefully he will give you a good report. How’s the diet going? You haven’t mentioned it lately. You looked like you lost some weight when we cruised with you the first part of Aug.
Jennifer
John, are you sure that was the Mayor of London. He looked more Al Ernst if we cleaned him up.
BIG ED
Hi John/Heidi:
Great hearing from Big Tex and I think it would be great if he was the CD out of Galveston.
I’m surprised you weren’t more excited for the transition made to London during the closing ceremonies. Yes, Becks has probably never had to take public transportation. However, I would say that the group assembled did a pretty good job.
I think it would be a great idea to have open chef night in the supper club and i can see why their classes are becoming very popular.
Thanks for another great blog and take care,
David
God forbid that a crew member be reading such inappropriate material (I am kidding) some crotchety overly conservative twit got a bug up their posterior orifice….. perish the thought if he or she had been listening to Barenaked Ladies as well….the uptight upstanding twit may have had a heart attack right then there……
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1,000,000)
I’d buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1,000,000)
I’d buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I Had $1,000,000 (If I Had $1,000,000)
I’d buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I Had $1,000,000 I’d buy your love…
Mark
The Flying (Barenaked) Dutchman
Hi John,
No need for a reply to us as we leave at 5.00am tomorrow morning for two nights in London before joining you in Dover on Saturday. Can’t wait and will be leaving a note for you at the desk so that we can hopefully say gooday in person at some stage. Looking forward to the trip (and rest)
very much.
Regards
Suzanne & Lisa
(Downunder)
Patricia Gregory
I’ve had no problems with the downloaded tags. I print them on heavier paper and I put one on each handle since most luggage now have two of them just to make sure.
BIG ED
aww cmon john! you being from GB means your supposed to have a tolerance for suggestive themes! (and nude weather girls) did I miss anything? what is the world coming to. Why, not long ago we were all naked anyway, I dont see what this fellow was so upset about. Besides I dont think those magazines are the same as say playbor or huster anyway. I dont understand why some people find sticking there nose in others business so gratifying… doesnt that guest know carnival may host nudist group cruises from time to time? hah. A scary and boring world it would be if we dove into the minds and rules of some of these folks, they just arent logical opinions. Hope you have a great one!
Dear John, I’m a Scot living in the U.S. for the past 38 years. I too watched the British portion of the Olympic Closing Ceremony and I thank goodness that you felt the same as me. I couldn’t believe that the British rep. walked to the podium to accept the flag, with the jacket of his crumpled suit unbuttoned and flapping in the wind. I hope that the British Olympic Committee members read your blog and take notes that they’ll need to do a lot better when 2012 rolls around.
On a different subject. Where can I find an updated list of CDs and what ship they are currently sailing? I love Malcolm Burn. We have 4 cruises booked through April and would love to know who the CDs are on each sailing.
I LOVE your blogs. You make me laugh like no other can. Thanks for that.
Regards, Liz
Dear Ralf and Big Ed,
Thanks for your response. We attached the tags because we are traveling with a travel agency and they are supposed to handle the luggage, so were aren’t sure if we will see our luggage between the 14 hr. flight and the ship. Or ever again. Just so we see it sometime, we will be happy! We bought a pacet of Scotch brand laminating shhets for the tags, and used a hole puncher and tie wraps as well. Friends who have traveled a lot more than we have suggest that half my clothes be put in Larry’s suitcase and half of his be packed in mine. So if one case is misplaced, we will each have something to wear. What with the changes in airline requirements, my carry-on will change from a tote bag full of books and other goodies to keep me happy on the flight to my very smallest suitcase with all the new clothes I bought for the trip. Do you know what the current rules are for carry-on items? Will the arrest me if I take along my cross-stitch? That involves a blunt tapestry needle and a tiny pair of embroidery scissors. Only 36 more days till our Hawaii cruise!!!