Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008...3:17 pm
Horsing Around with Captain Rude and Brent Timberlake
Good Morning everyone.
Guest: Mr ———-Ref: 002803772A
Cabin: ____ Booking#: _______ Added-Changed: 09/02/08 - 09/02/08____ - DID NOT LIKE VISIT WARNEMUNDE HORSE CARRIAGE
Mr. and Mrs. ______ attended the desk and stated that the tour they were on was terrible. Mrs. _____ stated that they were on the Visit Warnemunde & a Farmer by Horse & Carriage and it was absolutely dreadful. His wife is scared of horses and the tour was to a farm by a carriage and there were other horses at the farm. Guest said that the tour had not been explained properly by the Cruise Director. Mr ______ also said that the food offered was too basic and he had expected more than sausages and beer as his wife is vegetarian and does not drink. Guest said that he had gone to the Shore Excursion Desk for a full refund but it was closed. Purser said that his comments would be passed to the Shore Excursion Manager and the Cruise Director. Guest said he would be back at 9 am for his refund. Purser tried to explain that the details would be passed on but guest walked away from desk as the Purser was talking. Tasked to Shore Ex Manager and E-mail sent to Cruise Director.
OK, lets examine this one………starting with the description that is written in the guests excursion booklet.
Visit Warnemünde & A Farmer by Horse and Carriage
(Approximately 3½ hours) Enjoy a ride in a horse and carriage through Warnemünde and the surrounding countryside, stopping at a traditional farmhouse to enjoy some local fare. You will be picked up from the quayside in a horse drawn carriage and taken through the enchanting old countryside of Warnemünde. Sit back and enjoy the ride through Mecklenburg’s countryside while your escort chats with you about life in this region. See century old buildings, thatched roof farmhouses and ancient barns as you meander through the countryside and small villages. After your 1-1½ hour carriage ride, you will visit one of the last remaining original horse farms in the area. Here, you can “stretch your legs” and refresh yourself with a glass of sparkling wine, beer or soft drink and a traditional German snack, a Bratwurst. While enjoying your snack, you can also watch a presentation on the art of thatched roofing. The tradition of thatching has been around for generations, easily visible in many houses in this region. After your visit, you’ll return to your ship by motor coach with your guide, riding through the typical eastern bloc living quarters of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern with an orientation drive through Warnemünde. Note: Guests must be able to climb on/off the coach and carriage without assistance; therefore, we do not recommend this excursion for guests with walking difficulties. The order of this tour may vary. Minimum age to consume alcoholic drinks is 21 years.
First of all I sympathize with anyone who does not like horses………I don’t like them either…………….donkeys yes………..horses, no.
However, why was it a surprise that there were horses there? This tour does exactly what it says on the tin: “Visit Warnemunde by Horse and Carriage.”…………Did they expect that this title actually meant that you would see Warnemunde by Hot Air Balloon? As for the food………..ummm……..well, I did explain that the snack…………it’s not lunch……. would be sausage and a beer, or a glass of sparkling wine or a soft drink?…………Being a vegatablist did she think we would serve her a potato or a sprout?
So, having explained the tour and shown a picture of the horse and carriage and the horse farm and explained that the snack was German sausage…………he gives it to his vegetarian wife who passes out at the mere mention of the word horse on the tour…………..and it’s my fault…..well, I must be punished then and so I have beaten myself on my bottom with coat hanger and am now sitting on the naughty cruise director step.
I do understand the fact that she does not like horses……neither do I and here’s why.
When I was 15, Alan and I really liked two girls that worked at the local stables on a Saturday morning. So, we went and hung around and finally got to talk to them. They are asked us if we could ride and Alan, being the total and utter git that he is, told them I was an expert.
Well, to cut a long story short lets just say that I disproved the theory that when you fall off a horse you should get straight back on again. Because having done that I promptly fell off a second time……and broke my wrist.
Anyway, Razvan, the shore excursion manager, and I spoke to the guest and explained that the tour was exactly as advertised and that we were unable to refund him any money. We showed him the description and asked him to look a the video of my talk playing on Channel 7 to see that regarding the Warnemunde By Horse and Carriage Tour I did, in fact, mention that they would be traveling by ummmmm…….horse and carriage rather than on a goat and carriage.
The guest left saying that he would be writing to Carnival and bizarrely he also said he would be writing to Carnival’s owner who he said he was great friends with. I would have been troubled by this had the guest not referred to Carnival’s owner and great friend as………… “Mr. Arnisen”……who as we all know is Micky Arison’s Danish cousin.
The weather remains nice and the sun is peeping through the Baltic clouds as we speak so we may be able to open the roof very soon. I just returned from my St. Petersburg talk and explained for the last time - for quite awhile - about the various immigration procedures. The talk went really well and I spent 30 minutes afterwards hosting the Q & A………I felt quite good about everything………….until
I was summoned by Captain Rude.
Let’s recap. He wanted him and is wife invited to the captain’s table and loads of anniversary fuss outside of what we normally do. I had already explained to the guest that the captain’s table was booked by guests previously invited by the Miami office. So, there I was, standing in front of the stage, the dancers starting their rehearsal for the show, with a 4-foot, 10-inch man waving his finger in my face.
Honestly, the man was small and as he vented his frustration at me and told me why RCI was a better cruise line and why the cruise director on the Anniversary of the Seas was better than me………I know it was cruel……….but all I could help thinking was “I wonder where his six friends were……He is definitely grumpy, so where was Dopey and the others?”
I have never believed in “small man syndrome,” but I honestly think he may be suffering from it. I tried to calm him down by inviting him to have a seat which surely must have been better for him as right now all he had was a view of my belly button.
So, I invited him to sit and he took this gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war. He now raised his voice telling me he would sit when he wanted to sit………..my goodness, this man was angry.
When I eventually managed to talk I explained that we would be sending a cake to the table tonight and that I had the captain sign a photo of the ship. These offers were met with a strange noise that sounded something like “paaagghh” and again off we went, back to his favorite subject — how much better every other cruise director was than me and that “tonight at the captain’s party, I will be having words with the captain.”
I desperately tried to get him off that subject and trying to change tactics. I said, “I understand you were an airline captain?”………”Yes,” he said, “I was a captain for Delta for 26 years and we knew about service.”……..”OK,” I thought………..”But how the hell did you see over the control pan and were you on a booster seat.”
So, eventually, he left………..truly believing that he should be having dinner with the captain and that I had personally ruined his celebration. I will deliver the cake tonight and hope that he and his wife have a wonderful anniversary regardless…………now if only I can stop singing “It’s a Small World.”
One person who was very grateful was Candice whose video you saw yesterday. I arranged for her to get a new passport yesterday in Berlin and tomorrow night she will be off to the supper club. She has been stopped by many guests wishing her well and her fears that people would feel that she was clumsy have, I hoped, disappeared as everyone tells her how happy they are that she is safe and well.
As for the man who complained about having to stand in line while she was rescued……….well……….I spoke to him today on the phone and actually he seemed to have calmed down a bit and, even though he huffed and puffed a bit, he was actually OK by the end of the conversation and wished Candice well.
Let’s have a look at today’s photos taken by Jaime yesterday who went on a tour of Berlin with her Mum and dad who are sailing with her this cruise.
Berlin Museum
Parliament Building
I also want to say a huge thank you to Joe and Dave Myerly who brought with them some wonderful gifts for Heidi and I, including some Angelina Jolie DVDs.
I may not have an Aston Martin but I now have an Aston Martin book, a watch, and a hat as brought for me by Lorraine and her lovely Mum, Susan………..I shall wear it with pride.
These gifts are so wonderful and I am again humbled that people should think of Heidi and I like this and after my run in with Captain Rude…well…..let’s just say it feels good.
And that’s exactly what these letters make me.
Well, we all breathed a Hummer-sized sigh of relief when Hurricane Bastard…..I mean Gustav….decided not to vent lots furry on New Orleans. However, I see there was still some loss of life and much damage to other areas and we all hope that the people who were displaced can return home soon.
However, there are still concerns….as you will see from the latest news.
TROPICAL WEATHER UPDATE
SEPTEMBER 3, 2008 - 10:30 AMSTATUS: We continue to monitor the situation with an update on Hurricane Hanna affecting the Carnival Triumph, which now be forced to cancel her scheduled call to Grand Turk on Friday. We will extend our stay in San Juan on Thursday until 6:00 PM.
We are closely monitoring the progress of Hurricanes Gustav and Hanna. All of Carnival’s ships will continue to operate at a safe distance from this storm at all times. Our number one priority is the safety of our guests and crew.
We have made some itinerary changes for several departures this week in order to provide our guests with an enjoyable shore experience, while operating the ships in the safest and most comfortable conditions possible. These are listed below:
Carnival Ecstasy Thur., 8/28 departure from Galveston: The ship will visit Progreso, Yucatan (Sat). This ship will return to Galveston on Wednesday, September 3 as the Port of Galveston is closed due to Hurricane Gustav
Carnival Ecstasy Wed., 9/3 departure from Galveston: The ship will sail on a 3 Day Cruise-To-Nowhere, due to the delayed return of the cruise of Thurs., 8/28.
Carnival Fantasy Thur., 8/28 departure from Mobile: The ship will visit Progreso, Yucatan (Sat). This ship will return to Mobile on Wednesday, September 3 as the Port of Mobile is closed due to Hurricane Gustav
Carnival Fantasy Wed., 9/3 departure from Mobile: The ship will sail on a 4 Day Cruise visiting Cozumel (Fri) and returning Sun., 9/7, due to the delayed return of the cruise of Thurs., 8/28.
Carnival Miracle Fri., 8/29 departure from New York: The ship will change her itinerary to visit the ports of call: Port Canaveral (Mon), Nassau (Tue) and Freeport (Wed). Due to strong winds in the southern Bahamas, the ship will cancel her call to Nassau (Tue) and call on Freeport instead. The ship will visit Newport, Rhode Island on Friday from 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM.
Carnival Inspiration Sat., 8/30 departure from Tampa: The ship will visit Cozumel (Tue)
Carnival Glory Sat., 8/30 departure from Pt. Canaveral: The ship will cancel her call to Nassau (Sun) and visit the scheduled ports of call: St. Thomas (Tue), St. Maarten (Wed)
Carnival Liberty Sat., 8/30 departure from Miami: The ship will visit the ports of call in reverse order Ocho Rios (Mon), Grand Cayman (Tue), Cozumel (Thur)
Carnival Conquest Sun. 8/31 departure from Galveston: The ship will cancel her call to Montego Bay (Wed) and visit Progreso, Yucatan (Tue), Cozumel (Wed), and Grand Cayman (Thur)
Carnival Sensation Sun. 8/31 departure from Port Canaveral: The ship will shorten her call to Nassau (Tue) to 5:00 PM instead of staying overnight until Wednesday 6:00 AM
Carnival Triumph Sun. 8/31 departure from Miami: The ship will cancel her call to Half Moon Cay (Mon) and visit the scheduled ports of call of St. Thomas (Wed), San Juan (Thur) and Grand Turk (Fri). The ship will cancel her scheduled Friday call to Grand Turk.
Carnival Legend Sun. 8/31 departure from Tampa: The ship will cancel her call to Grand Cayman (Tue) and visit Key West (Mon) and then call on the scheduled ports of call of Cozumel (Wed), Belize (Thur) and Isla Roatan (Fri)
FUTURE CRUISES FOR WEEK STARTING MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2008:
Carnival Fantasy: Mon. 9/1 departure from Mobile: We will be forced to change the five-day Carnival Fantasy cruise scheduled to depart on Monday, September 1, 2008 to a four-day cruise departing on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 returning on Sunday, September 7, 2008. The four-day cruise will depart from Mobile at 4:00 PM on Wednesday and visit Cozumel on Friday (arrive 8:00 AM; depart 5:00 PM).
Guests that sail on the new four-day cruise will receive a 25% refund of the cruise fare paid. In addition, guests will receive a 25% discount of a future three- to five-day Carnival Cruise departing prior to December 15, 2009. This discount applies to the cruise fare only. Please understand this offer is non-transferable.
If guests elect to cancel the cruise, we ask that guests contact us right away to cancel the booking. Guests will receive a full refund and refunds will be processed in less than two weeks.
Carnival Ecstasy: Mon. 9/1 departure from Galveston: We will be forced to change the five-day Carnival Ecstasy cruise scheduled to depart on Monday, September 1, 2008 to a three-day Cruise-To-Nowhere departing on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 returning on Saturday, September 6, 2008. The new three-day cruise will depart from Galveston at 4:00 PM on Wednesday.
Guests that sail on the new three-day cruise will receive a 50% refund of the cruise fare paid. In addition, guests will receive a 50% discount of a future three- to five-day Carnival Cruise departing prior to December 15, 2009. This discount applies to the cruise fare only. Please understand this offer is non-transferable.
If guests elect to cancel the cruise, we ask that guests contact us right away to cancel the booking. Guests will receive a full refund and refunds will be processed in less than two weeks.
We are looking forward to welcoming our guests aboard all of the Carnival “Fun Ships”. The officers, staff and crew on each of our ships are dedicated to delivering a great cruise vacation experience.
So, lots of changes and lots of work for everyone. I have spent the a lot of time answering comments and questions so if you have any that you think I can answer, please let me know.
Here is one of those young cruise directors who is up to his neck in changes. His name is Brent and he is to good looking and needs someone to smack him in the face with a chair leg. Unfortunately, he is also a great cruise director and very popular with everyone who meets him. So, here is the Boy Band Cruise Director Brent Timberlake.
1. Can you tell us which ship you currently are on and when you are due to leave?
Carnival Miracle, here until Sept 22 then I take a short vacation, then back Oct 18.
2. Carnival Cruise Directors come from very diverse backgrounds. Some have entertainment experience, some, like me have none. Can you tell us about your background and how you ended up with the best job in the world?
Funny enough, I graduated with an engineering degree and work in that field for three years after school. Finally after three very long stressful years, I decided to give a try at something away from the 9 -5 type of job. I did a short holiday fill in as youth staff and that was it. After seeing the role of a social onboard, I was like “That’s what I want to do.” Eight years later, I’m still here loving it.
3. Before we talk about some of your favorite parts of the job, lets talk about the areas behind the scenes……….the things guests never see. Tell us about what a Cruise Director does when he or she is not on the stage but keeps you just as busy.
Paper work, meetings and more meetings. For everything guests see in front of the house, there are hours spent behind the scenes making sure things run as smooth as they do. It’s a total team effort from all the crew.
4. A Cruise Director is happiest when performing or being with guests. Can you tell us two activities or events that you would call your signature items…………events that make you stand out from the crowd?
For me it’s when I get to talk to the guests on stage, be it at the Welcome Aboard show or the guest talent show — I love it. You meet so many different people and, of course, so many very different personalities. Getting to talk to these people always makes for a laugh and to this day it still amazes me what people will say in front of thousands of people! The jokes that fall into your lap — it’s great.
5. What has been your most challenging moment as cruise director so far?
Sometimes you just have those contracts where for months on end everything seems to go wrong. Bad weather, technical problems, port changes, you name it. It all seems to happen and it feels like you just can’t catch a break. And all this seems to happen when you really feel like your needed at home most by your family. It’s very hard to not be at home at certain times which every crewmember feels at one point or another.
6. And, your most rewarding
To be honest it was when my Mom came and cruised with me for the first time. You can only explain so much what a cruise director does but if you’ve never cruised, it is a very hard thing to explain. When she finally came on her cruise, she was so happy and proud. The crew treated her as like they do for everyone — just like royalty – the sort of attention she is just not used to be getting everyday. I’ve never seen her so happy. It was great to see.
7. On your current ship can you tell us about your itinerary and can you recommend one must do excursion from each port of call
Eight-day cruise from NY to San Juan, St Thomas and Grand Turk. For tours, I would suggest the following San Juan - head to the Bacardi Factory; St Thomas — anything over at St John; and Grand Turk – anything that evolves getting into the water.
8. Why, in your opinion is Carnival…………..the world’s most popular cruise line
That’s easy. Relax and be yourself and we’ll take care of the rest.
9. Is there a ship in the fleet you would love to be cruise director of that you have yet to be so and what port of call would you like to visit that you have not so far in your career?
The Carnival Spirit – I would love to see the Glaciers!
10. Every CD has a story to tell from their time onboard. What’s your most recent funny, sad or inspirational story you can share with us
Alright, at the sandwich deli. While waiting in line for her sandwich, a guest saw the fruit/vegetable display. Now this was real food but sprayed down and all shiny for display - you know what I’m talking about. She took a full carrot and began eating it. The whole line stopped and stared in amazement as she ate the whole thing. Mind you nobody said anything, including myself. Just when we thought she was done she went back again and took a pepper which stuck to the other sprayed-down fruit which did slow her down one bit as she also ate the whole thing. Well, stunned was an understatement.
11. Finally….pick a cruise director table ……………..you are hosting a table at dinner onboard the carnival Dream………what’s for dinner………..and who do you invite?
APPETIZER
Sushi Platter, I can thank the supper club for getting me hooked on thoseMAIN COURSE
A big piece of steakDESERT
Ice cream with a crazy amount of chocolate syrupSOMEONE FROM THE CRUISE INDUSTRY
John, I’m yet to have a meal with you that something interesting doesn’t happen. The “Butch-throwing-a-fake-tantrum-in-the-mess-at-you” story comes to mind a great performance.SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD
Will Ferrell. Sorry but he makes me crack up?YOUR FAVORITE ACTRESS
Hmmm….Eva Mendes can you guess whyYOUR FAVORITE ACTOR
Well, I just saw Heath Ledger in the new Batman flick. Kind of eerie — he was creepy goodYOUR FAVORITE MUSICIAN
Jack JohnsonAND SOMEONE FROM HISTORY YOU WISHED YOU HAD MET
Genghis Khan - you got to admit he would be interesting
Thanks, Brent, and my bloggers are very loyal so if you see someone walking towards you with a chair leg……run……..oh, and thanks for all the great work you do.
I just want to pop back to the subject of complaining. I have said many times on this blog thingy that most of the complaints we receive are justified. However, there are a group of people who not only think they will get something just for saying “I’m not happy” but there is also a group of people who cruise expecting the cruise lines to say “YES” to everything.
But let’s just imagine for a moment that we would say yes. Let’s imagine that we lived in a world where a handful of people could have something altered or banned by saying in a letter: “I don’t like this very much and I want it stopped.” There is a very high profile case at the moment in the UK where the GAP clothing company has outraged Muslim leaders. A poster billboard thingy showing four young ladies in underwear and pajamas has been removed from sites near mosques………not outside them but within a five-mile radius.
It’s jolly easy to get all mad about this. There will be those who will say that if Muslims don’t want their children to see pictures of girls in their underwear they should have stayed in Uzbekistan. And doubtless those of a Daily Mail persuasion will point out that if a British person moves to France and complains about the local cafe serving horse burgers, he’ll be told to bugger off.
GAP, of course, maintains that it’s difficult to advertise underwear without actually showing it. Although it could take a leaf out of my book and have someone wear their thong on the outside of their trousers…..which I do every Thursday night in the privacy of my own cabin.
Imagine then if we could write to any organization and that organization had to say “yes” to any demand we made.
I could write to the airlines and demand that for the price we pay we deserve more than one peanut.
And after a second letter, all French tourists arriving at Heathrow would be turned away.
I’m struggling to think of anything which would be permitted in a world where nothing was allowed to cause offense to anyone…….everything would have to go…….. Cruise ships with loads of graffiti down the side, cruise ships that are bigger than three shopping malls, and vegetables that look like men’s thingies.
You probably think this is silly but I’m afraid it’s not. When you go to the cinema these days you’re given a synopsis of the movie before the MGM lion has roared.
“This film contains scenes of flashing lights and strong language, and there’s a bit of mild violence when the zombie’s head falls off. Oh, and there’s some semi-nudity when we see Richard Gere wearing stockings. Turn off your cell phones, don’t talk….oh… and this film may contain nuts.”
Still, not everyone listens and acts on complaints.
Happily, our great leaders are still a beacon of hope in this sanitized world. Three million people complained, in person, about their plans to invade Iraq but they paid not the slightest bit of attention. Maybe the cruise industry should all take a leaf out of their book.
But of course we can’t and we never will……….. Which is why I just personally delivered a chocolate cake to Captain Rude and his charming wife…….she really was and could not say thank you enough.
Unfortunately, Captain Rude could not manage to get the word out, I think at one point he tried but it just came out as “thawwwww ” and he went back to being short………….tempered by telling me that on RCI the captain had also sent him a bottle of wine……………so, I bought him a bottle of dessert wine and ………… much to his surprise, I opened the cork and served it to him, as well.
He nodded………didn’t say thank you……just nodded………and after making sure his tray table was up and his seat belt was securely tightened I left Captain
Short………..sorry……….Rude……………and his embarrassed looking wife to enjoy their dessert wine and cake.
I just read that back…….and now I feel guilty again for writing it. Yes, a tiny percentage will complain about anything and demand everything but they are as I said the minority. And, where would we be if we didn’t have people like Captain Short ……….. sorry ……….. Rude………..the world would be a boring one and this blog would only be about what I had for lunch.
So, no more short jokes, and no more concerns……….a complaint is a gift, that’s what I say. I just feel bad for Captain Rude………he seems to be angry at the world and that everyone owes him something …….. He must have a permanent headache ………although…………that may have come from years of banging his head on coffee tables.
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi and Captain Short……sorry…..Rude.
54 Comments
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
It’s a Small World…The Seven Dwarves… Oh, that’s great! Thanks for the laughs! I still say you must be some kind of saint. I would have been fired on day one for telling these idiots where to go.
Jeff
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
And yes, they should have stayed in Uzbekistan.
And WHY WHY WHY are you rewarding Captain Kames T Jerk’s bad behavior? Haven’t we been over this John? It just leads to more bad behavior. Just pick him up and toss him over the side.
Jeff
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Captain Short…sorry…Rude could use a lesson in humility, gratitude, thank you and I am sorry are really so very easy to say, to bad he is incapable of saying them. That old saying, kill them with kindness just may have had you in mind John when they said it.
I was going to say something mean about one of our excursions that we have purchased for our cruise next week, but for the life of me I can not come up with one think that would even make any sense. My husband and I spent two hours looking over all the excursions and we know where we will be going so there is really no reason for us to complain about anything we booked, much less something we ordered and knew what we were getting. There truly are some people out there who deserve to be talked about LOL.
Keep smiling John, and stay your sweet self. I hope on the 9/11 cruise there is nobody to talk about but I am sure that is just not in the cards, they seem to radiate to your ship.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Cats Meow?? I don’t get it…
If it were for me…. Mr. Captain Rude would go back to sailing on the RCCL. Nothing lost. I wouldn’t have done what you did. No no no that’s what he was looking for. The same for Mr Horsey… HElloooooooooo
You got me at the title!! I didn’t even need the explanation of the tour. He only showed his stupidity. Glad you didn’t give him the money back.
Maybe I sound angry but today all day I was thinking of the people that take advantage of us because we are too good and we follow rules and we don’t want anyone to get upset. We are always doing what is right and many others are doing what they want and getting away with it. Today I’ m a rebel. No more! We are good people not dumb!!
Nanni
( I need a hug!!)
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I don’t know the exact statisitics, but I would love for someone to tell me how many people felt they were shown the highest levels of customer service when getting off of a Delta flight and the same question to those getting off of a Carnival cruise ship. I think that Carnival would win that one. I deal with people like this all the time, where the husband is a butt and the wife is happy all the time. What I always do is try to make sure that I go above and beyond for the wife and eventually the husband will come around (mainly because he doesn’t have a choice).
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Hi John,
I can’t believe you not only gave Captain Rude a cake but a bottle of wine too! Ok, my birthday will be 2 months after my next cruise - can I get a cake & wine, or strawberries, or a free dinner in the supper club? Stop being Mr. Nice Guy all the time to people who certainly do not deserve it.
JOHN, PLEASE ANSWER:
I was all set to enjoy Brent on the Miracle, except he won’t be there on 9/30. So who, pray tell, will be the substitute CD?
Maybe for future cruises, all excursion descriptions should be accompanied by pictures (horses, sausage, beer, trains, etc.) - like the walk/don’t walk signs, the no smoking signs, the height restriction signs (for Captain Short..er..Rude).
OK, I’ll stop. Hope you and Heidi have a great day,
Hugs,
Carol
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
John, if captin rude gives you anymore trouble, tell him you will throw him off a sidewalk…….
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
John, I’ve never had to pay for a RCL cruise. I don’t know why I have to pay for my Carnival cruises. I’m sure on a RCL cruise I would have been given anything I asked for with the smallest complaint. Since I’ve never been on a RCL cruise I quess I would not of had to pay for one.
John your just giving those complainers more reason to complain. Take care of us 99% and just let those other 1% go to RCL. When it comes to a time for your raise all Carnival has to do is read this blog and not those stupid letters they MAY get to see what your realy worth.
BIG ED
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
You know, it is a very good thing I am not a cruise director. Otherwise, one could follow the itinerary of the ship by the stupid, complaining passengers I left standing with their bags on the pier as the ship left the port. I really do not know how you can maintain a civil attitude toward idiots like the horse farm tour complaining person. My personal thought is he was a cheap sod and trying to get something for nothing. And Captain Rude needs a new job, perhaps Captain of the Head.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
John,
I am shocked by the actions of Capt. Rude. When on my first Carnival cruise, I was taken back by how much the Carnival staff goes beyond to make sure the passengers have a great time!
John, Carnival, and Staff, Keep up the good work!
Dave from Colorado
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
John, I have a request to make, could you hold the Sensation long enough for me to drive back home and get my John thingy tee shirt. I forgot it……sigh I just knew you would, we’ll be back in a couple of days…….
We are a couple of hours from arriving in Port Canaveral. The skies are sunny and it is a beautiful day. The drive down from home has been great, no back up in traffic even in Atlanta, GA. We’re looking forward to these few days of R&R. The only thing that would make it better is if you, Heidi, Big Ed’s Evil Krewe, and Stephanie were going to be on board with us. But please leave Capt. Rude, Mrs. S.Nob, the one’s who like to shove and push to the head of the line,and the student from KY, ahhhhhh geeeeeeeeeez how bout just chartering this ship for our group………..
Countess Carolyn…. without her I love John’s thingy tee shirt
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
John,
After reading about Capt Rude I don’t know what to say. I feel sorry for you having to deal with him and I feel sorry for his wife having to live with him. Maybe you could send him wine every night but slip him “some get nice pills” in it. When you see his wife again ask her if she calls him Capt… Oh and jump up and salute when he comes around. He’ll get the message. That’s what we do at the fire hall when people get promoted and let it go to their heads faster than their new name tags are printed.
54 days til the Glory
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Ahhh, John… like so many other people I enjoy (is that the right word???) your tales of disgruntled passengers. The best thing about the stories is that there are so few. This means that 99.99% of the passengers are completely reasonable people. Good on them.
I recall a rather portly woman who would have made Capt. Short… uhhh… Rude look like a center for the Miami Heat. She went into a tirade when the poor fella behind the counter at the pizzeria told her there would be a seven minute wait for a pizza. She shouted “SEVEN MINUTES!!! I don’t have seven minutes!!!” and she stormed off threatening to report the incident to someone. For goodness sakes, she’s on a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean… all she has is time!!! Oh well, some people can never be pleased.
The pictures of Berlin were stunning. Thank you.
Here’s hoping that the remainder of sailing is more enjoyable than the first few days have been.
Thanks for everything.
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
dude! i think you should have a look in the dining room at mrs. vegetableateronly and i bet you anything she has a sausage right there on her plate and a fork stuck in it and a piece of it hanging out of her mouth. just sayin’…
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Dear John I’m sure some people think you make these characters up.Its really a shameful state of affairs that there are really people who behave in this childish manner as the Mr.Rudes and Mrs.Snobs.These attributes use to be reserved for children and I mean bratty children at that.Now it seems we have a large mass of the world that believe in the me,me,me or free,free,free mentality. With the parents thinking this way what can we expect from our youth and the future.Enough of the sad loved the pictures as always and there is always enough good people to keep one smiling.Best wishes Gary and Bug
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Captain Short and Rude needs to bugger off. And if he thinks that Delta knows what service is, oh brother is he wrong. And I am very glad that you and Razvan did not give in to Horse face and his vegetarian wife who can’t read.
Candice looks like she is no worse for the fall. I hope she is feeling well.
Love the pictures keep them coming.
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I think as a society (well part of it anyway) the rude and obnoxious have become conditioned to being rewarded by companies and organizations for complaining, whining, sobbing and/or creating public spectacles. Certainly companies make concessions when warranted but more often than not it is to appease the discourteous offensive grouches. Some jack-weeds turn it up a notch when initially the party at the receiving end refuses the initial volley. The torrent increases until the company or firm concedes to some extent. I think these malcontent whiners have developed an art form…..perchance likened to a con-game in this elusive act of trying to get everything for a discount or free.
Me thinks I will polish up my skillz in bytching so on BC2NOLA I will get huge perks, freebies, cake, wine, champagne, VIP suite upgrade, dinner with the captain, dinner on my balcony served to me personally by the maitre d’ (as of yet not possible with an inside cabin). I am joking….. (a little bit anyway) : )
Mark
The Flying Dutchman
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:14 pm
How come Grumpy gets to go on a cruise?
Signed
Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Dopey and Doc.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
John, Its been a while since ive dropped a note. But I read the blog faithfully every day, and for a few minutes I get to be back on the ship with you, what a treat. Although I was on Liberty this summer and Steve did a heck of a job too. Just a thought, maybe you can put the blog address on your name tag. When you have guests like the Captain, just kinda smile and give a nod to your name tag. Keep up the great work!
Rob
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
John…
You are too gracious!! You know how to be wonderful, and you know how to be just!
Serving the cake and wine… what a hoot!!! I’m sure you just wanted to strangle the captain as you smiled cheerfully. How delightful his wife enjoyed and appreciated it!
The Berlin photos are fantastic!! Thank You!!! It’s been a while since I visited… I remember not even being able to get close to the wall for fear of a stray bullet aimed at me… And check point Charlie… was CHECKING!!!
Thank you for today!!! It’s helping the next 18 days pass by quickly!! WOO HOO!!!!
Lambie
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:59 pm
As a teacher of young children I think we as adults need to think about what kinds of behavior we are modeling for young children. Adults need to stop and think about how they are acting and spend more time being grateful for the good things in their lives rather than acting like spoiled and illmannered children. I think Carnival does a great job of serving the public and you John go out of your way to make everyone’s cruise experience a great one. I love Carnival and enjoy and respect all the hard work that goes into making a cruise special. You can be very proud of your staff not only on the Splendor which I cruised on this summer but every Carnival ship. Great work!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Captain Short….sorry….Rude leaves me speechless. Guess it’s a good thing you’re the one writing the blog thingy! I hope those of us that appreciate the hard work the crew puts into every sailing makes up in some part for those that just seem to like to complain. So, thanks again for a job well done on each & every one of the cruises we have been on!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Hi John,
I think you handled the Delta Capt. very graciously! Most people would not have been able to be so gracious to someone as he! I am one of them!
However, and I make this point not to make excuses for “His Rudeness,” but the way he is acting can be a sign of dementia (as well as the obvious signs of memory lapse!)Whether it is dementia or just one grumpy, disgruntled old man, it doesn’t make it easy for you!
Through this blog, you have opened my eyes as well as those of others to the trials CD’s must endure. You all have my admiration.
Good evening to you and your lovely wife!
Linda
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:42 pm
John: Another day of laughter for me and another day added to my life. Thank you for your wonderful stories and pictures. I can’t wait to meet you in person and see these wonderful ports next August. I do hope we will not have any Grumpy and Dopey people on the ship.
God Bless You and Heidi!
Marie
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Hey John just thought I would give my 2 cents on the subject of captain short sorrry rude, next time he complains give him a bottle of wine and shove it up his bum. You are the best cruise director there is so don’t let Captain Shorty tell you otherwise.
Give my best to Heidi
Take care
James
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Based on Captain Rude’s statement I owe an apology to United:
My previous comment from “Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf………….not Shawn Bussey”:
Captain Rude… that’s what happens to you if you spend your entire career like a parrot repeating every word Air Traffic Controls says. ATC: “(Sorry United) Delta 199, turn left heading two-niner-zero.”
Captain Rude: “Freakin’ Roger, turning left heading two-niner-zero, (Sorry United) Delta one-niner-niner.”
And then he hits the intercom switch and says, “Folks, we have just leveled off at our cruising altitude. So you may now move about the cabin and go potty. One thing though… don’t let the sound of the vacuum flush scare you. And finally folks, we’re serving only peanuts on our five hour flight. So don’t bring your hopes up of dining with me at the captain’s table. Heck, they wouldn’t even let me do that aboard the Splendor.”
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Steve -
Grumpy got sent on the cruise to bring some peace to the house. Twelve days of not having to hear his complaints are worth it.
Happy
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
John, don’t you know that when the wife is p.o.ed about anything that it’s the husband’s DUTY to go blame someone else for making it happen to her?? Or he dies. haha. Cause I think what we have here are two men who are afraid of their wives (and, thus, for their lives!). The one man has a wife steaming mad that she was taken on a horse and carriage ride and then made to stuff a sausage down her vegetarian throat…even though she is not a prisoner and has the right and ability to hear and read the description of the tour herself….but despite that, she is now blaming her husband, and he in turn has to transfer blame onto …well..lucky you! The buck had to be passed to someone, I mean, this man has to sleep in a tiny cabin with this woman for the remainder of the trip…and the size of that cabin, even if it is a luxury suite will feel like a shoebox if you are trapped inside it with a fuming mad woman. Then you have Mr. Shorty-Pants, a man who was obviously petrified that if his anniversary night wasn’t over-the-top that his wife would be disappointed in him and he would never hear the end of it. How sad that, in his mind, their night couldn’t be wonderful without a Captain’s table being involved….it sounds to me like he was needing the Captain’s table like some men need a Hummer….to make up for their personal short-comings! Just feel pity for both men. What a difficult life they must lead. You were just their scape goat this time around….or, uh, shall we say…scape-horse :0)
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
You are so funny–its a small world. Once you get that song in your head you can’t get it out–thanks John!
Pretty pictures. Hope that Heidi and her mum are enjoying their time together as well.
Nice to know Candice is doing well. Short tonight as this is last blog for a while–I leave for London tomorrow and there are still things to get done–but woohoo!
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Good evening John. The story about Captain Rude still amazes me as I continued reading your blog. How rude that man was and still found it difficult to say thank you for you being so gracious. I think about what you did for me and my wife on our last cruise still amazes me because you didn’t even know me but still gave us some gifts because you wouldn’t be on the cruise as we both thought you would. I wasn’t expecting anything from you but you thought of us. That is why Captain Rude bothered me the most. I wish I could have spoken to this man and made him understand how great you and Carnival think of everyone. You are a very special person and many of us know that. Ciao my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
He’s the eighth dwarf, Stumpy. disney cruise must have lost one of its staff overboard.. after he tripped on his nose.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Hi John,
I don’t mean to be a bullocks but, I am still waiting to hear if there will be any excursions available on Jan. 1, 2009 in Ochos Rios ?
Regards,
Joe
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Hey John, I think we were short-changed! We didn’t like one of our tours on our last cruise! So now that I have brought it up, when do I get my free cruise? Oh and I will expect the Captain to serve me breakfast in bed too! Sheesh! Some people! I just don’t know where you get the patience, John. But if it weren’t for people like you, we may as well take a French cruise-line I suppose!
People like that would never appreciate it anyway!
I really do appreciate your sharing of the pictures and descriptions with all of us. I know I will never get to see a lot of the stuff that you get to, so at least I can vacation vicariously through your blog-thingy!
By the way, I really hope you aren’t sending these people good wine or champagne! Make sure it’s the cheap stuff!
On our last cruise we ended up with a bottle of Mumms that we never got around to drinking, so on the last night we gave it to our cabin steward (no, not in leiu of a tip) and I think it just made his whole week! I’ve just never seen anyone so excited over a bottle of wine. He put up with crud from demanding guests all week (for weeks on end) and was truly thankful when someone gave him a small pittance to say “Thanks”. I’d rather sail with him than Captain 4-foot or Mrs. S Nob or Horseboy or the Mortician any day! I think that in a lot of cases the crew are just plain nicer people than the guests!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Love the blog John keep them coming. Sounds like you know how to truely take care of those who deserve it and serve those who don’t. Again John you are a saint, i would have not had the same responce you had.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm
John,
The more I read your blog thingy the more I appreciate your hard work and dedication. You have a very kind heart to put up with such ridiculous and selfish guests. I would not have the patience to deal with them and I am afraid I would go along with some of the other bloggers and tell them to go to RCL. Good riddance.
Your blog is always the highlight of my day and I often laugh out loud while reading your many exciting stories.
Thank you for taking the time to entertain us with your creativity.
September 4th, 2008 at 1:30 am
I just want to say I agree with what everyone else already said about all the people who want things there way or no way.
Jennifer
September 4th, 2008 at 5:16 am
John,
i am getting on the ship as Brent is getting off on the 22th, could you please tell me who the new CD will be? too bad it won’t be you
thanks John,
Bobbyfk
September 4th, 2008 at 5:41 am
Hi John.
Perhaps you could check all your passengers, to see if any of them took a Delta flight over their anniversary.
Then ask if they were invited to eat their plastic meal in the Captain’s cockpit……
I’ll bet you get a big, fat ZERO !!!!!
(Oh - and Jeff - that name - “Captain Kames T Jerk” - well, you owe me a new laptop because I just spat coffee over this one…….)
September 4th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Hi John
Just love reading the blog and looking forward to next year and sailing with carnival again.
Have been looking to book the liberty for July 20 09 and i thought i would check out carnival uk prices but the cruise was not listed, spoke to agent who said it was!! I said it was not and if she could find it to tell me where they had hidden it on the web page, she finally agreed that it was not on there, went back today to check again and still not listed, thought you should know as this is the first cruise of the school summer holidays in england and i am sure many parents will be checking sail dates. Anyway i will leave it with you not sure who else to tell as the girl i spoke to didnt seem bothered.
Wishing you well from rainy/windy thorpe!
Michellex
September 4th, 2008 at 7:22 am
John,
My wife and I were on the last Baltic cruise starting 8/18. We had a wonderful time and wonderful service! When we filled out the comment cards we recorded the wrong table number. We were in the Gold Pearl dining room, table number 347 and our servers were ZsuZsa and Iskra. Please make sure they get the proper credit because they did an excellant (exceeding expectations) job. You will note the table is a table for two. My wife and I enjoy this and have learned to request upon arriving at the ship.
By the way, I did review your blog prior to the cruise and it helped prepare us for some of the customs challenges during the cruise. I probably will not be a blog regular but may still review it from time to time.
Our next cruise is the Panama canel next March and we are already getting excited.
Keep up the good work.
Bill Todd
September 4th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I agree with Nanni, all of us who do the right thing, and don’t complain and never make a fuss have to listen to Mr. & Mrs. Whinny that Life is so Unfair! If they like RCL so much get the hell away from us CCL devoted fans. We don’t need people like you on our ships! John, you did the right thing! Good for you! Gosh, if they go on cruises to eat vegetarian they are missing out on a lot of GOOD food! While there is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian, these people should not complain about the local fare of sausage and beer, they were in Germany for goodness sakes! Linda
September 4th, 2008 at 8:06 am
John,
You’re simply the best. I am loving your blog & the wonderful stories. And remember, without captain rude & the one’s who don’t know their horses from there asses, well, at least they’re entertaining the one’s of us who aren’t there to witness them. Thank you for telling us about them in the wittiest of ways. (By the way, when do you make the time? Does your watch have a 13 on it?)
September 4th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Wow, Brent graduated with an engineering degree before becoming a cruise director. That’s QUITE a switch. Good for him finding something he loves doing, though. I wonder what engineering field he studied?
I feel sorry for Rude’s wife. Wonder how those two get along if he treats other people like the cruddy way he’s been treating you.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:30 am
John,
You’ll be telling us next the the Fountains at Peterhof excurion in St Petersburg involves going to see fountains in Peterhof!! I may have to revise my excursion plans for Liberty next year if that’s the case.
And traditional German fare is sausages!! Who would have thought it?
Much as I’m enjoying the blog (and I’ve been lurking for a lot longer than I’ve been participating), I’m beginning to worry that my hopes of a quick hello and handshake next June may be dashed. I’m afraid I intend to be too busy enjoying my cruise to go anywhere next or near the Purser’s Desk or anywhere else to whine about nothing.
On a slightly more serious note, you mentioned in a previous blog that you’ll miss Splendor’s roof when Liberty takes over the route next year, but I say a YouTube video of Liberty this week on which a retracting roof was clearly visible. Maybe it’s on a different part of the pool deck?
If you have time, you might clarify in your next reply feature.
Thanks, as always,
Donal
September 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am
John, thank you for the pictures posted. The ports are beautiful! Hoping Candice is happy on the cruise, passport in hand now. I know you are making the voyage special.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Hi John
Maybe you could relay this to Captain Rude!!
Pilot Humor
During taxi, the crew of a US AIR departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, “US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on “Charlie” taxiway; you turned right on “Delta. Stop right there! I know it’s difficult to tell the difference between C’s & D’s, but get it right!”
Continuing her tongue lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, “God, you’ve screwed everything up; it’ll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don’t move until I tell you to! Then, I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?”
The humbled crew responded, “Yes, Ma’am.”
The ground control frequency went terribly silent; no one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state.
Tension in every cockpit at Ft. Lauderdale Airport was running high.
Then, an unknown male pilot broke the silence, asking, “Controller, wasn’t I married to you once?”
September 4th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Sooooo……
What DID you have for lunch?
September 4th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I will be happy for you when Captain Rude is off the Splendor! Hope he doesn’t stay on through my cruise on 9/11 on the ship.
Anyway, I am a published author and I would never, ever get on any of the ships and demand special attention because of it! Never have and never will.
See you in a week, John!!
Melissa
PS: If I take my mother on the Northern European cruise sometime, we would love to do the Warnemunde carriage tour!
September 4th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Why would anyone expect to see a horse on a horse and carriage tour? Hmmmm…..let me see. I agree with Nanni, I would not have served Mr. Rude. The “Little Man Syndrome” is alive and well with Mr. Rude expecting everyone to “owe” him. Oh, and Nanni, sending you big hugs. John, keep your chin up. You are marvelous, darling!!!!
Tootles,
Lori
September 4th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Hi John/Heidi:
Maybe you can just pick up the cost of my next vacation? That would make me really happy and not so rude. Just kidding.
Amazing what some people try to get away with.
I enjoyed Brent’s interview and it appears that he loves doing what he does. I can’t imagine seeing someone eat the fake fruit/veggies. That would have been a great scene.
Thanks for another great blog today and stay warm!
Take care,
David
September 4th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Hi John, poor dear, Mr CrazyHorse and Mr RudeANDshort all in one day!! I need to take a moment and just say how much I admire all the Pursor’s Desk staff and how well they do not to swing, or laugh out loud, at some of the “guests” they are forced to deal with. How on earch they manage those straight polite faces is beyond me!!
Loved meeting Brent, what a cutie! I am hoping you interview the new CD for Destiny before I get on board on Oct 30 <>:> Only eight weeks away now WOOO HOO!!!
Berlin looks magnificent, love the pics!!
We are all watching the storms and continuing prayers for all who are dealing with them.
Big Hug to Nanni, you are wonderful!!!
Love you all,
Floatie
September 4th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Love your blog, sorry for the cruisers that no matter what you do for them, they will be miserable.
I have a question, my daughter is due to sail her honeymoon cruise 9/7 from port canaveral to bahamas and mean old ike is brewing. the one and only update on carnival has not updated since 1230pm today (9/4) , will there be more frequent updates posted. Just concerened as if we choose to reschedule flights for family, it will have to be done by sat. am. we understand only the hurricane and God know what the true tract is, just hoping for some word from carnival as to whether or not the ship will cruise to another location , or cruise at all. wouldn’t it be great to have a hurricane zapper on every ship. thanks so much.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:46 am
John, What patience! I travel on Delta almost twice a week and can honestly say I never met a rude crewmember. Although their service of peanuts is a joke I understand their dilemma. As such I understand Carnival’s dilemma in dealing with that 1%. As others have said let’s focus in on the 99% of us that respect the crew and simply enjoy the time we have on this earth. Keep on picking those great destinations so that we all might enjoy the earth we live on.
Thanks for a great Blog and say hello to Sue and Robert.
Jim
Jim
September 6th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
John, just an update, our wishes on the hurricane zapper must have worked, Ike will bypass the ports, daughter gets married in the morning and most of all,,THE SHIP SAILS 9/7/08..LET THE FUN BEGIN. thanks so much. susan : mother of the bride. ps,,to bad she’s not sailing with your fine crew , maybe on their anniversary.
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