I don’t know where she got the idea, but last week Heidi, suddenly produced a fully decorated swear box and announced that there were new rules for us all to follow. It was going to be $1 or £1 per swear word, and at the end of the year the money would go to the children’s hospital, Great Orman Street. It was all very entrepreneurial and there was no way I could refuse without setting a pretty bad example.
I decided to lay down some rules of my own: I would accept her terms, but I also said she would have to put in £1 or $1 every time she said, “I’m bored, whatever.” Ground rules agreed, we were off.
The first morning, which was the usual nightmare of trying to get ready for the Morning Show, finding the dedication letters and my shoes and…………..of course, I woke Heidi up as I was getting ready.
So, I woke Heidi up with my morning noise and Heidi snapped: “Sh%£, could you make anymore noise. John, are you eight years old, you lazy bastard.” I pounced and charged her £1.50. I was particularly vigilant and marched her off to the box to check she put the money in.
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