I don’t know where she got the idea, but last week Heidi, suddenly produced a fully decorated swear box and announced that there were new rules for us all to follow. It was going to be $1 or £1 per swear word, and at the end of the year the money would go to the children’s hospital, Great Orman Street. It was all very entrepreneurial and there was no way I could refuse without setting a pretty bad example.
I decided to lay down some rules of my own: I would accept her terms, but I also said she would have to put in £1 or $1 every time she said, “I’m bored, whatever.” Ground rules agreed, we were off.
The first morning, which was the usual nightmare of trying to get ready for the Morning Show, finding the dedication letters and my shoes and…………..of course, I woke Heidi up as I was getting ready.
So, I woke Heidi up with my morning noise and Heidi snapped: “Sh%£, could you make anymore noise. John, are you eight years old, you lazy bastard.” I pounced and charged her £1.50. I was particularly vigilant and marched her off to the box to check she put the money in.
Since then, it’s got worse and we’re down about $75. Admittedly, it has made me think about my language, and I’ve started saying “flip” and “oh, gosh” like someone out of a Victorian play.
We’ve had a real dispute over a couple of rulings. I’ve been charged $2 for “bugger.” Personally, I don’t think this counts as a swear word, but Heidi insist it does. I went to my friend, Mrs. Bentley, for a ruling and, predictably, she sided with Heidi. It took me back to when I was a lad in school and my best friend was a boy called Carl, the son of the local Catholic priest. We were playing quite normally in our garden. I can’t have been more than six and we were probably building trenches from which to fight the aliens from the planet Zog who were about to invade.
So Carl and I were playing and, for some reason (maybe Carl had stuck the shovel in my foot), I said, “Damn.” Carl looked totally shocked: “I’m going to go and tell your father that you said damn.” I was appalled at this treachery, but pretty sure my father would hate him more for sneaking. I was wrong my father gave me the good news with his slipper. Carl and I did not stay friends after that….the last I heard he was a lawyer ….. what a shocker.
Our biggest area of contention is blasphemy. Heidi follows me round the house waiting for me to say “Oh, Jesus” or “For God’s sake,” two of my favorite expressions. I tried to get a ruling excluding these from punishment, on the grounds that they are words from the Bible and don’t consider them to be swear words. Heidi looked totally shocked. “But John, you’re taking the Lord’s name in vain.” It’s difficult to argue with them on this point, even if you are a sinner. I suppose I won’t want my Thingy saying “Jesus” all the time, in whatever context.
I’m actually quite pleased with the swear box – it has made us think a bit more about how often we swear and cuss without thinking about it. I was going out on deck 5 forward when feeling frustrated and unleash a volley of swear words into the Mediterranean night – it didn’t endear me to the passengers or the officers on the bridge….but it’s a lot cheaper.
However, last night I had to contribute another £20 which is equal to $31. Let me explain why.
Yesterday, I experienced one of the loneliest feelings in the entire world…………….second only to working as a Climbing Wall attendant on the “For God’s sake, will someone climb this wall of the seas?”
The lonely feeling I am talking about is the one where the conveyor belt stops and apart from the one bag that keeps going round and round that some stupid bugger has forgot to collect………….you are there standing…………..alone…………..realizing that your suitcase is probably in Bombay…………………………yep, British Airways lost my suitcase………….not Heidi’s………….they both made it, of course…………but mine…………had not.
As I minced over to the oxymoron that is the “Passenger Service Desk,” I felt for sure that Richard Simmons the flight attendant had read yesterday’s blog and may have seen that I had suggested that the airline he worked for was crap and they may have been even crappier ……..if that is a word. So, there I stood talking to Trina, the British Airways service person. I had to fill in a form and describe my suitcase and then I asked the most stupid question the world has heard since Guy Ritchie said to Madonna “You know that song you sing…..well………are you a virgin?”……………
I said, “Do you know where my bag is?”………………….I might as well have asked her to describe the chemical breakdown of yak poo because apparently…………it wasn’t her job…………her job was to ask me for details……….input them into the computer ……….and then someone would be contacting me………………..fly the friendly skies my arse.
And so, I spent the next two hours during the journey home swearing and cursing forgetting about the swear box only to be told by Heidi that the sick children were another £20 better off……………..bugger.
This morning after nearly half an hour on hold and being told that “This call is important to us,” I was told that my suitcase had been found and would be delivered to me as “soon as possible.” I told the lady on the other end of the phone in India that I needed it today because I was flying to the States on Monday and right now I was wearing my wife’s underwear as all of mine is apparently exploring the Tuscan countryside.
Well, so far it’s not arrived and I will be surprised if it does come today. I understand how our guests feel when they arrive with no bags but I also know that they even though they are not responsible, our brilliant pursers are far more helpful than the BA staff.
OK, let’s say hello to Jaime who has sent in her first Dear John letter from the Carnival Splendor and some photos of our last night. Here it is.
Dear John,
Contrary to what I had originally expected, the ship did not spontaneously combust once you and Heidi stepped off! Many crewmembers asked me when you would be returning and they were all pleasantly surprised when I informed them you would return for a short time when the ship gets to Ft. Lauderdale =). We miss you already! Earlier today I walked to into the cruise director cabin and Jen was hard at work, editing the Capers for next cruise. The walls were bare, and dresses were scattered around the bedroom, but that is really no different from when it was your room!As for the daily summary:
On board today was pretty quiet, only 600 guests on the ship. The vast majority of them went off sightseeing in Rome and will return tonight to say goodbye to their dining room staff, cabin stewards and their home for the past 12 days. With such a small number of guests on board, it means all of the host’s activities were not very busy. After my morning three-mile run and intensive weight session with the help of our fabulous fitness instructor Dan, I got ready for my general knowledge trivia session which ended up having a captivating audience of about 10 people. Most of which were Aussies – and they always have a good laugh, so it was great fun. After trivia we went straight into Win, Lose or Draw and a game of TV theme trivia. A British couple won, even though they originally wanted to leave because they thought there would be all American questions. The entire host team has been working hard since start up to internationalize all of our trivia games, and so they were pleasantly surprised when they finally won a 24 karat gold plastic ship on a stick.On the Carnival Splendor, as you would find on most ships, the entertainment staff always find a reason for celebration and an excuse to throw a party. Last night, we were able to celebrate one of the dancers (Ellie’s) 30th birthday and we had to bid John and Heidi farewell. This cruise is filled with goodbyes; the original inaugural team is finally being broken up as staff members begin to move on to their vacations, future endeavors and their next ships. Tonight we say good-bye to Fiona, one of our fabulously talented Carnival Splendor dancers. I have especially loved having Fiona on board because she is tall and has dark hair just as I do. Guests have a tendency to think we are the same person ALL THE TIME. This is great for me because that means they tell me how great I was in the production show on a daily basis! Our cause for celebration tonight is to wish Fiona a great vacation. Many of the crewmembers were on the Carnival Freedom last year, so they know a great restaurant in Civitavecchia that we will be heading to shortly.
This month, the entertainment and shore excursion department is in charge of the extracurricular activities for the crew. So when we return from dinner tonight, our production singer, Lawrence will put his DJ hat on, and we will move our crew lounge outside to deck four forward so that all of the crew can have a fun get together under the stars in the fresh Italian air.
I am off to get ready for dinner! We will begin tomorrow with the Splendor’s first John and Heidi-less cruise.
John/Heidi and Jim the Music Director at the Farewell Party
Jaime and Fiona on her last night on the Splendor
The Hosts saying Goodbye to HeidiHave a good night =)
Jaime
Entertainment Staff
Carnival Splendor
Great start Jaime and I think we can already see that your sparkling personality is shining through in your writing style. It sounds like the ship is doing well and I know we are so grateful to you for taking the time from your work schedule and flirting-with-the-men schedule to keep us all informed as to what is happening.
Tune into tomorrow for another Jaime story.
It was hard to say goodbye to the Carnival Splendor and it was probably very difficult for the city that never sleeps to say goodbye to a loyal…………..and royal friend.
Let’s hand over to the president of Cunard……………Miss Carol Marlow
QE2’s final call to New York yesterday was her last ever visit to North America. It was a historic day. She arrived early accompanied by our flagship Queen Mary 2 and the media was out in force. The sun shone on QE2 as we boarded a host of Cunard friends for a celebratory lunch, including the British Ambassador to the US, Her Majesty’s Consul General to New York, our valued travel agents, maritime historians, past Cunard staff, media and dignitaries from the Port of New York and the Coast Guard. Speeches brought a tear to the eye, as Captain McNaught Commodore Warner and I told of QE2’s life with us and the baton passing on to Queen Mary 2… Our British Ambassador also paid tribute to QE2, the most famous ship in the world. Later in the afternoon crowds gathered in Battery Park to bid the ships farewell. At 5pm Queen Mary 2 left her berth at Brooklyn and made her way across the harbour, turned on a sixpence and waited for the star of the show to arrive. QE2 made her entrance at 6 pm led by a spraying New York fireboat. The two Queens sounded their whistles to each other and to the substantial crowds, and as a Pipers band played Auld Lang Syne QE2 passed her young sister, and then led her out of the harbour, each Queen saluting Lady Liberty as they sailed by. The crowds watched as they glided off into the distance under the Verrazano Bridge.
Thanks, Carol………..and thanks to our good friend Peter Shanks for sending us the magnificent photos. As I mentioned a few days ago, there is nothing like sailing into New York and doing so on a Cunard liner would be the icing on the cake. I am sure all of you have copied the photos and made them part of your collection…………they are very, very special. Thanks again Peter and I guess when you think about the song really says it all……she is leaving today and she is going to make a brand new start of it………..in Dubai. But a new Queen Elizabeth will soon be there…………so start spreading the news.
So, I am now able to tell you what it is I am doing as part of my month in the States.
Here’s Stephanie to tell you more………………Stephanie.
Hi Everyone,
As readers of John’s thingy we would like to let you in on a little secret – we’re planning to set a Guinness World Record! Well, two, actually. On October 26th we’re going to inflate the World’s Largest Beach Ball in Dallas, and if that isnt’ enough, we’re going to unveil the World’s Largest Piñata in Philadelphia on November 2nd. Best of all, you can watch because John will be there blogging from both events. Just keep an eye on the blog for more details next week. And, if you’ll be in those cities while we’re there let us know!Thanks!
Stephanie
Thanks, Steph. I am so very proud and very honored to have been asked to do whatever it is I am going to be doing. I am also thrilled that you will be with me every step of the way both in the written word on the blog and through video and photos. Watch this space for more details.
I had a big surprise today………..I went to see my parents this morning for breakfast and when I walked in who was sitting in the living room………….my sister Suzanne…….who had flown all the way from Hong Kong to see me……………OK, that’s a lie……she flew all the way to London for some emergency bankers thingy meeting but she took the time to drive down to see me………..she only had an hour and then she had to go straight back.
As you can imagine I was thrilled to see her because she owes me money……………so after she paid me I said hello and we took this photo of me, Suedrip, Heidi and the Thingy on a beautiful English summer day…………well……………it would have been more beautiful if I hadn’t had been wearing the same pair of underwear for two days.
Anyway………….here we are.
Thanks, Suzanne, and we will see you at Christmas………………I know many of you enjoyed her comments a few months ago so, hopefully, when things calm down in the banking world and she gets fired, she will have time to write again.
And so, it’s time to say goodnight. Heidi is already in bed and I will be soon as well. Still no word from British Airways and hopefully tomorrow my suitcase will arrive. I am a little tired as I had an early start thanks to Peter the bloody pigeon who obviously realizing I was home decided to sit outside my window at 6 am and coo at me. I just asked Heidi if she wants to read through my blog. She said “No, she was too tired and to keep the noise down as she was going to bed.”………forgetting about the swear box I said “God, I was just asking, no need to get pissy.”……….and that was another £2 in the box.
Still…………….as she isn’t going to read the blog and it’s too cold to go out into the garden and swear………………..if you will excuse me……………………” DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN AND SH*%
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and The Thingy
Filed under: Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Carnival Splendor, Cunard, Dallas, Guiness World Record, Philadelphia
John, That was a DAMN great blog! (See in that context it isn’t a swear word!)
So, you’re coming to Dallas, yipee. The one time I get a chance to see you before the Bloggers Cruise, and know where I’ll be????? On the Carnival Ecstasy on my way back home! AARGGHHHHH Well, enjoy your visit here, hope all the local bloggers get a chance to meet up with you.
Hugs to you, Heidi, and Little Thingy,
Diane
John:
First Heidi is correct. (are you surprised??) Taking the Lord’s Name is not only the worst verbal thing you can do….you are actually breaking one of the “BIG 10″ (as in Commandents…you know …the “thou shalt nots”)
So “thou shalt not”…anymore!!
We have a friend on this final sailing of the Queen Elizabth 2. He is a Carnival Rep from New Orleans (hey Robert) and a Cunard regular. He is the brightest shining star in the New Orleans port.
I got to give him a huge on Monday as we debarked the Fantasy and wished him well on this QE2 cruise. He will also be with us on the Blogger’s Cruise.
I am thrilled to hear from Jamie and we are in high hopes that she will still be aboard when we sail the Splendor next month. She is still one of DJ’s heros.
Melvin H. (karaoke host) has been on my mind a lot lately. Is there anything we can do to help him get to see his little one?
Now you have less than 9 months to stop being a “potty mouth” ….because one of the first things you will learn as a Dad…is when they start talking…they WILL repeat every word you say!!!
Food for thought.
Speaking of food…or the lack thereof…currently 16 pounds lighter and I have you to thank for that. I would have never done it on my own. Your idea was what got me started. Thank you!!
Linda (Mom of your friend ~~currently in need of a cruise~ DJ)
You are hilarious! I love the ending. I will be saying those words when I get in the car tonight! I am a travel agent, and times are tough. But I will feel much better to say those words, and will throw some in for you!
QE2, My grandma HAS A SORY OF SAILING ON HER THROUGH A LARGE STORM.
After the world’s record beach ball and piñata you should commandeer the world’s largest ball of twine in Darwin, Minnesota. However, there appears to be some level of dispute between Darwin and a town called Cawker City, Kansas over who truly has the biggest balls…
I have to tell you that Suedrip is STUNNING!! Should I have emergency need of a banker I’ll be sure to look her up… in Hong Kong…
Please thank Jamie for the Splendor update and the pictures. Speaking of pictures, those of the QM2 and the QE2 are wonderful. I still can’t deal with the concept of the QE2 as a high class Motel 6… sorry…
Here’s hoping that BA finds your bags in time for you to return to England. I suspect someone in Ceylon is having a fantastic time trying on your boxers at this very moment.
Please tell Heidi, and the Thingy, that I said hello and pass along to Stephanie that she’s doing a magnificent job!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
Hi John & Heidi
Glad u got home to essex safely, what lovely weather we are having in Thorpe Bay, I was in Asda on thursday (my life is just too exciting) and i thought it saw you in the car park driving off and then again i thought i saw you driving down the broadway today, and then i read the blog and see you arrived home today! how strange is that. Enjoy your few days at home before you fly off again. Heidi you look really well, hope you are feeling ok. Anyway off for an early night its been a busy long day.
take care and john stop haunting me!
Michellex
Two beautiful woman and……JOHN LOL
Seriously John you are going to be in Dallas?? Where exactly Stephanie?? My brother and my sister live there and I want to send them your way. My sister is the one who used to work for RCCL and she is a fanatic. Let’s see what she says. LOL FUN!! I want to go! BTW she used to be
Climbing Wall attendant on the “For God’s sake, will someone climb this wall of the seas?”
Can You turn her to our side?????
JOHN, PLEASE ANSWER LAST ?
Hey, John, Heidi and Thingy,
Hope your bag(s) finally arrived John. Of course the important ones (Heidi’s, of course) did make it on time. John, your sister is beautiful! Look at you…surrounded by gorgeous women!!!! Apparently Suze’s leg healed just fine, judging by the height of the heels on the boots she’s wearing! What a fashionista!
Isn’t it interesting how we start thinking about things like our “language” and our behaviour when a little one comes into our lives. I think the same thing applies when we’re around our parents. We just automatically behave in whatever way we know our parents expect…no matter how old we may be.
Wish I could be in Dallas or Philly, but I’ve done my traveling for the year. Except from Orlando to Jacksonville for Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course. Sounds like fun stuff in store for Big D and P!!! If you’re there, how could it not be?
Say, in one of the pictures, who’s the young man who looks a lot like one of the presidential candidates?
Are your parents ecstatic about Thingy? This will be, what, three grandchildren? Say hello to Dad and Mum for me, and all of you stay well and safe.
Looking forward to all your upcoming adventures!
Your Pal, Myra
PS: Did you get the poem?
Hello John, Heidi, and Thingy,
I’ve been on the Freedom for the Oct. 1st 12 day Grand Med. cruise, and haven’t had much time to read to the blog, so I’m a little out of touch. Congratulations about the Thingy! What wonderful news! I just had to educate you about the “taking the name of God in vain” question. According to a friend of mine who is a religious scholar, Saying the name may be naughty, but technically it isn’t taking the Lord’s name in vain. Taking the Lord’s name in vain is what we would call perjury. You swear in the name of God that something is true when it isn’t. Of course, my grandmother considers “G.D. it” to be swearing all the same. Maybe she and Heidi’s grandmother went to different schools together. I really like the creative way people avoid swearing by saying something else. My favorite was my cousin Mandy’s “son of a biscuit-eater”.
My husband was supposed to go on the Freedom with me and another couple who are friends of ours. Just 2 days before the cruise, he was diagnosed with an ear infection in both ears. The antibiotics didn’t kick in in time for him to fly to Rome, so he had to cancel. He’s feeling much better now, and we’re both looking forward to the Bloggers cruise in Feb. Hopefully we’ll both be healthy. Thank goodness for insurance.
Looking forward to Feb 7, 2009,
Cheryl D.
steph please reply
wow Big John in my home town… Billy Penn will fall off the top of city hall lol any way can we get the specifics of Johns Philly visit as we would both Love to see him……
Thanks
Cindy N Bill
Dear John and Heidi and Thingy
That was a grat #%$&&%^* Blog
The picture of The Queens was great but the Picture of you surrounded by 2 Blondes was much better.
Good Idea about the swear jar because Thingy’s will quote “swear words before they say mamma or daddy, I swear!
But you still can put any of your swear words in you blogs an get away with most of them that the Fic or Fidc or Blog Critics will allow right?
Take Care
The Tuckers
Arnold & Elizabeth
P.S. Hello to the Grandparents Mum & Dad Heald
John, I’m looking at the picture of two beautiful blonds with I don’t know what standing in the middle. On my computer it looks like a vapor cloud on top of a pair of legs. You better go shopping for some new BRIEFS before you get on another plane. We don’t want to read about a Bio hazzard cloud on a transatlantic fight.
Now as for the worlds largest beach ball in Dallas I see from that same picture you are delivering it, LOL. Or maybe you went to see Fatima in Turkey again and she left the hose in to long.
BIG ED
I would owe your box $100 a day – you are doing much better than me!
On the top picture of the QE2 and OM2, there is a Staten Island ferry (orange boat) on the far right. I was on that boat – I timed it so that I could sail out the the QE2. Such a bittersweet day!
Vicki
Shame on you John, wash out that mouth with soap! You need to set a good example for the little Thingy! I like Heidi’s idea about where the money should go, but if you don’t clean up y0ur act you won’t have any more left over for the Thingy! Believe me they are expensive! Diapers, crib, stroller, highchair, etc. etc. So be good, ok? By the way Stephanie mentioned you would be on the Splendor later in November, when? I guess it will be before the 21st huh? Enjoy your weekend with Heidi. WOW Suzanne is a knockout! Take care, Linda & Mike
Hi Cindy n Bill,
We don’t have specifics just yet on the Philadelphia event, but I promise that as soon as we know we’ll send them your way!
Stephanie
John….I hope you get your bags. And fast. I look forward to hearing/seeing your “beach ball record.” I’ll miss the pinata record….as I’ll be flying to Rome for my “Freedom” TA. You…..or a cruise. The choices are never easy in this world.
Bugger! [Do I owe Heidi some money now].
John, I guess I have to admit I side with Heidi. Linda is exactly right, little ones have big ears and what they hear has a tendency to go in one ear and out the mouth, verbally.
Now the only way I can think of for you to get by with using Damn is to use it in the form of a dam like Douglas Dam, Cherokee Dam, Fort Loudon Dam, all dams that have water running over them like the names of these that are in our area……… think that would work??? snicker
Now I’m going to tell you how I feel about the word Thingy.. That wee little one is your son or daughter not a thingy…….. So forgive me if I can NOT refer to it as a thingy. If it is a son, you will find out the first time you change his diaper and he lets loose and wets you all over, what a thingy is. …
So I will refer to him/her as the wee little one until such time as the doctor says congratulations it is going to be a ——-. Do you and Heidi want to know ahead of time if it is a boy or girl, or do you want to be surprised when it is born?
Countess Carolyn…who sides with Heidi
Hi Suzanne, good to see you. Now where are Mum and Dad?
John, just be sure you take that cuss box with you into the delivery room. Heidi will be needing it. Don’t let her get away by swearing in dutch. If she starts “Speaking In Tongues” don’t let her say the devil made me do it.
BIG ED
PS. can I be there in the delivery room to keep count.
Hi John and Stephanie, Where in Philadelphia and what time? Can common folks like Dave and me come? It just might work out.
Jo and Dave
John,
You know you are going to get caught. Do you think Heidi won’t go back and read the blog later? What are you going to do with the beach ball when you are done with it?
Well, I will have to say that your sister got all the good looks in your family…LOL.
Heidi is looking well! What a beautiful lady…still wondering how you hooked her.
Princess Susan
John,
OMG!!! IN DALLAS!!! I can’t believe you will be here and I will get to see you again so soon. Please, Stephanie, let us know ASAP where so I can get there before the crowd and stand a chance of talking to you. And John, just think, you can get all the diet rootbeer you want while in the States.
Hello to Heidi and her little thingy.
Sharon
p.s. John you can use omg-oh my gosh. Will cost no money.
What timing, you’ll be inflating the beach ball where I live….but on the same day we return from the Carnival Conquest!
Why Dallas, though? Why not inflate it in one of Carnival’s ports or on one of the ships?
OMG, I told you even your description of breakfast would be funny. You can take any situation and make it funny although I am in total sympathy about the lost suitcase. They lost mine on a flight from Memphis to Atlanta for God’s sake–oops I owe the swear box and I didn’t get it back for two days! Very frustrating.
The pictures and descriptions of the arrival and departure from New York are priceless and beautiful. Just like the Splendor christening..you just wish you were there to see it and experience the excitement.
Your sister is as beautiful as you and Heidi! Did she give any advice? Great photos of all of you on a beautiful day at home. Don’t you just love that word–home. Ok, you aren’t home for long and I wish I would be able to be in Dallas or Philadelphia. I can’t imagine why Dallas–at least Philly has a port! I will be traveling the next couple weeks on business too but unfortunately not either of those places so far but I’ll stay tuned.
Hope your luggage shows up! Sweet dreams to you, Heidi and the Thingy!
So John,
I see you are filming a two day commercial in Dallas. A helium filled beach ball, the question is will they go up or very slowly fall down as they are thrown off a building.
I am sure a bunch of us could have been paid extras.
Dave
John:
I hope your suitcase arrives in time for your trip to the USA. If not, I am sure the department stores here would love to sell you some new stuff.
Just make sure you get some fresh underwear back in the UK before you leve home.
I hope you and Heidi enjoy your time together at home. Safe trip to the USA.
Oh, you may want to be in South Florida for election day to count the latest screw up of ballots for Guinness Book of records.
Marie
Private Please Forward to John -
Hi, John, Heidi and Stephanie
We will be in Dallas Oct 19 -23rd so we will just miss you. As you say John, Bugger.
Have a quick story about the pigeons. We were on vacation with my grandmother. Woke up one morning to a line of glasses filled with water from the bathroom to the balcony. Asked my grandmother why were there glasses of water. She said that the pigeons keep waking her up so she keep throwing water at them. Went down for breakfast and our waiter commented that they could not understand why a group of people kept getting wet last night. Yes , you got it….it was not pigeons but people sitting on the patio having drinks who my grandmother heard. Sorry we will be missing you in Dallas but we will see you in Feb. in New Orleans. Lynn and Mike Sagara
Steph -
Please make sure that I get information on the Philadelphia event. I will even go downtown for this event – something I absolutely HATE to do.
Jon
John -
It concerns me that you have apparently decided to name your child after THING from The Addams Family show. Have you no shame?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thing_(Addams_Family)
Here’s how you can save a lot of money, John, just say Dam! instead of damn. As in all the Dam ships of your sister company . . . Zuiderdam, Rotterdam, Yadadadadam . . . So just tell Heidi you’re working on a blog about Holland America and Dam, Dam, Dam away . . . without penalty!
Hi Linda =)
I will be here until November 29th. I hope to see you, Dave and DJ again! What date are you sailing?? We will be sure to keep the zones where you are Freddy-free!
I still have pictures of you and your family from next year, the gift you got me seemed to have somehow disappeared though =)
Thank you again!
Hope to see you soon.
Jaime
Great Blog! As always John Keep it up… I dont need coffee anymore…. you are my mourning addiction from now on. So please dont stop or I will start going through withdraws. lol :+}
Let ‘er rip, John. Both swears and gas!And come on, who was adopted, you or your sister?
Jeff
Dear John….
While you are in Dallas, Susan and I would love to take you and Stephanie (it sounds like she will be here as well) out for Dinner! Let us know if you guys would have time! We’ll take you out for Texas BBQ or Steak. Your call!
Stephanie….Let us know where the event will be taking place. Regardless of the dinner we would love to meet you guys!
John & Susan from Frisco, Tx.
STEPHANIE or JOHN – PLEASE REPLY
Can you share any timing or specific location details for the commercial shoot in Dallas? As you’ve certainly noticed by now, there’s quite a few of us that live here, and we’d love to come watch the spectacle.
Does John want a home-cooked meal while he’s here?
John! I am so glad you will be in Dallas. I would LOVE to meet you. However I will be on the Splendor the beautiful ship you just left for the Transatlantic!!! I am very excited about the cruise,but will miss meeting you on the ship and now miss you in Dallas, too!
%##^*&% oops I might owe a few dollars to your box! Please do enjoy our Texas hospitality.
Patsie from Texas
Oh, and I forgot–I don’t think bugger should be included–you have me saying thaat all the time now!
John,
You are doing a good thing with the swear box…before its too late…
My story…My daughter Lauren was about 3 years old and the car seats at that time were such that you put the real car seat belt over the top of them. Lauren and I got into the car and she as always reached to get the seat belt to hand it to me to fasten it across her car seat. It accidently slipped out of her hand and she muttered oh shi%%%. This was a three year old using a swear word in the proper context! Quite the eye opener. Did I quit swearing? Hell no…I told her she may use those words when she is a mother. She is now 20 lives on her own but is not a mother so guess what? She may not swear!!!
Enjoy!
YAY…I’m just north of Philly! I can’t wait to see the details…I’m free on the 2nd (for now) so hopefully I can make it.
I agree with Carolyn about calling the bun in the oven “Wee little one” rather than little Thingy! I see from Jaime’s response that she will be on the Splendor till 11/29. She was responding to Linda, Dave and DJ, (I am a different DJ-Jaime) but look forward to meeting you. But I read that John would be on the Splendor for a little while when it is in Miami, when will that be? Can you tell us Stephanie? Hope you got your luggage back John or else you will have to go shopping for some new underwear before you fly out of the U.K. on Monday! Ciao, Linda & Mike
Dear John, you won’t be sorry that you not only tried but stopped cussing. Little ears hear those words and they do repeat them. It is not just the cussing, it is everything we say in front of our children. They soak it all in like a sponge and they have very good memories.
I am glad you were able to spend time with your Mum, Dad and sister. It is always nice when the family gets together after being apart for so long.
Loved Jaime’s (hey Jaime
) review of her day on the Splendor w/o you. The ship is still standing and that is a very good sign, it is all down hill from now on.
Keep smiling John, hope your bag arrives in not only good shape but before you have to leave for the states. Have a good flight, but knowing you the strangest things will happen so I guess you just have to go with it.
Hi John:
Loved the pictures as I got my first sighting of the “Thingy.” Heidi is looking wonderful.
I am curious as to your old friend’s father whom you said was “the son of a Catholic priest!” That had me perplexed until I realized that one of our priest had adopted a boy before he was ordained. Otherwise, I do know that Greek -rite Catholic priests can marry and thence have “thingys.”
A question that I have asked many, many times that has not been answered as of this time:
How is it that when you write a blog, there are also answers from fellow cruisers posted on the same day? How does this happen? Do some people get advanced blogs? Please, please . . . I would really like to know, if not in the blog, then at least to my email address.
JAMIE:
We sail on November 17th…..
My Splendor Cruise is COMPLETE…and we have not even sailed on it yet. Why? Just because YOU will be there!!!!!
DJ is SOOO excited now. He is also looking forward to seeing Jessen (who he sailed with on the Legend in May). And of course, my cruise son Melvin (karaoke host SUPREME POO BA!!) will be there.
Our documents came in today. Have I mentioned the Upgrade Fairy gave us a SPA BALCONY complete with the perks (we booked a Spa Interior)? (I have only mentioned this about a zillon times…can you tell I am excited!!) woo hoo
Please apologize to Goose and Jen for me. I accidently sent them Todd’s “freddie” email.
We sail the Freedom the day after we get off the Splendor…and I had a “senior” moment.
Thanks…can’t wait to see you and replenish the “gift” !!!
Linda
JOHN URGENT PLEASE REPLY!
John,
Can you please tell me who the cruise director will be on the Spirit on the July 1, 2009 cruise??
Thank You,
Spencer
Hi John, Heidi, and the thingy,
Kathy and I got off the Splendor on October 17, and are back home now. We just wanted to say that we had a great time, and your team was great!
We kind of noticed your silent detarture the last few days on the ship, but your staff was doing a great job! Special thanks for Jaime, also!
October 26th in Dallas sounds like fun we would love to join you!
[...] I Swear…..But Not In Dallas or Philly I don’t know where she got the idea, but last week Heidi, suddenly produced a fully decorated swear box and [...] [...]
John, I read lots of comments before seeing that someone else also puzzled for a minute over “son of the Catholic priest.” Was that a test to see if we read every word? You know we do – you had the announcement of your blessed event in the last sentence of that blog.
Have a wonderful vacation. You could give yourself a day off from the Cuss Box if you toured the Hoover Dam in Nevada, you know. Your dam guide Fred will take you on the dam tour and you can ask any dam questions you want.
Hi John/Heidi;
Did I read this correctly? You’re coming to Dallas?
You’re going to be here in my backyard within the week? Can we get together by any chance (Please Respond!)
Great pics of the Cunard ships in New York. These never get old.
So you’re swear box is adding up pretty quickly. I could have made some good money betting you on that you would have luggage issues (again).
Pretty exciting with everything going on.
Great hearing from you and keep writing.
Thanks,
David