Did you see the news today that Starbucks has issued a 97% downturn on their profits from this time last year? …………..wow……………..I wonder why. Has the credit crunch meant that we are now taking a packet of Maxwell Folgers Coffee to work with us and avoiding the purchase of a skinny macchiato caramel extra shot whipped and bollocked and instead…………..drinking coffee?
One thing’s for certain. Although the young ladies and gents who work at Starbucks may know how to make the most complicated variations…………..if you want them to look as bemused as Paris Hilton in an Everything’s A Dollar Store………………ask for a cup of tea.
I did that this morning and the young lady looked at me as though I had just asked for a freshly brewed cup of peacock urine…………….at first I thought the look of disgust I had received from the Miss Cappuccino was that I had asked her for a cup of tea…………….in English……..but then I realized it was obviously the fact that I had dared to ask for tea………..and…………………when I asked for a small cup of milk for the tea I thought she was going to faint.
I love tea……………………I drink tea…………….I am British…………….it’s the law. However, it appears that tea consumption is shrinking, especially among young people, yet Britain is still by far the largest consumer in the world. I quite like a cup at around 10 am and then one an hour because this is “tea time.” However, I do need a cup of coffee in the morning. Some people drink “breakfast tea” as a morning’s hot beverage. This is as mad as starting the day with a steak burrito from Taco Bell.
When I go to someone’s house and they ask “What would you like to drink?” I never ask for a cup of tea when I go to someone else’s house. That is because if you take it with milk and sugar, this is a complicated, four-ingredient request…………and that’s before you ask for Splenda instead of sugar. It’s exactly the same as being offered a cookie and saying, “Ooh, thanks, but actually I’d prefer fillet mignon drizzled in a cabernet sauvignon sauce.”
In fact, it’s worse, because your host will realize you are English and have to find a teapot that hasn’t been used since their wedding day 30 years ago and is at the back of a cupboard behind the equally dusty Mexican blanket they bought in Cozumel ………………. because it was cheap.
I always ask for coffee and that’s because I will take it “European style” — black with one sweetener if they have…………….or with bugger all if they don’t. Of course, you may say that coffee causes your teeth to go brown and your heart to explode. But tea, if we’re honest, is as healthy as telling Mike Tyson he is a big girl and smells.
Eight percent of a tealeaf is toxic, around 25% is irrelevant, 2% is nutritious caffeine and most of the rest is acids, arsenic, chlorophyll, salts and tannins – which are useful only if you want to give your stomach lining the texture of an old sock.
Herbal varieties, however, are even more dangerous because if you come round to my house and ask for green tea I will punch you in the mouth. Herbal tea is for people who do yoga and sit on the porch every night chanting. At best, it is pointless. At worst, it is Sex and the Shitty snobbery. That program has resulted in a huge increase of tea sales in North America as well as the four girls being responsible for women keeping their bras on when having rumpy pumpy.
And Chai tea? Have you tried that? Well, don’t – because you can achieve exactly the same effect, for a lot less, by drinking your own urine. Then there are the Herbal Life Teas. These promise weight loss and they work………….and that’s only because they are made with Ex-Lax and prunes which guarantees major weight loss as you cluster bomb the toilet 20 times a day
So, maybe if Starbucks switch to P.G. Tipps or “Monkey Tea,” as we call it, their sales will go up. It’s anyone’s guess why they have been so popular over the years …….. especially as they put half a granule in a Styrofoam bucket and call it coffee. While I sip on my cup of Monkey Tea………why don’t you go ahead and have a read Of Jaime’s Dear John letter.
November 10, 2008
Dear John,
Today is another beautiful, sunny day! This of course makes the ship and atmosphere more enjoyable. Also, the sound quality on Lido deck is better with the dome open so activities are both understandable and successful. It is funny to realize how tiring these five long consecutive sea days are for us, since the hosts are constantly trying to put forth all of the energy we have into our activities. Having five consecutive work filled days is not typical for us hosts, we are used to having the schedule broken up by being in port! I suddenly remember what it was like in high school to have a full week of school, and never being able to make it to those final classes at the end of the week – this is why I learned to schedule only 3 days of classes when I went to college. My respect has grown immensely for those people working 9-5 Monday through Friday jobs, because they work five days in a row every week. At those jobs, they don’t get to see much of Europe or understand the inner-workings of a lifeboat!
So where are we now? Looking at our ship’s position on promenade deck is quite comical because we are a big red dot in the middle of the blue blob which I believe is meant to represent water. We passed the Tropic of Cancer early this morning at 1 am, it was less exotic than I imagined. Unfortunately, there were no palm trees or sunshine!
Tomorrow is finally the light at the end of the tunnel, or more accurately the land amongst the miles and miles and miles and miles of endless water. We will finally visit wonderful St. Maarten. Ironically enough, Christopher Columbus is said to have pulled into this very port after traveling the Atlantic himself. It is also a holiday there tomorrow, so although not too many of the shops will be open it will be a perfect opportunity to enjoy the sunshine and the beach which we have all been eagerly awaiting since our arrival in Italy in early June!
Since we are almost finished with this trans-Atlantic journey, I have asked the entertainment team to help me compile a list of tips and tricks that we have used to remain sane during this transition.
Here are some of the things we have come up with:
- Breathe
- Share a smile
- Laugh
- Have fun!
- Make every person’s vacation unique and special
- Always be armed with a pencils, paper, trivia questions and ships on sticks in case of an entertainment emergency
- Remember to go outside and see the sun and the stars! THERE is a world outside the ship!
- Take your medicine
- Eat pizza at three in the morning just for the fun of it =)After graduating from college I knew I wanted to help a lot of people, and I am still trying to figure out exactly how I am meant to do this. But helping to make people have fun, memorable vacations is certainly a rewarding beginning.
As we head toward port, we have finally received the signal for American television channels. This especially exciting for the crew members because we have been exposed to only European channels since June! I do not know how we survived without NBC, CBS and, of course, Cartoon Network. On most Carnival ships we receive a local news channel from a small city in Colorado, and I look forward to becoming reacquainted with this town. I really had felt like one of the residents after the conclusion of my previous contract. I was up to date on their local news, their weather forecast, and most importantly, the date and location of the monthly parade they held for the mayor.
Off to watch TV… on a scavenger hunt for John’s commercial =)
The Carnival Splendor entertainment staff team- Jaime, Owen, Stephanie, Lauren, Kevin and Adele
The Carnival Splendor entertainment staff team
The Carnival Splendor as it makes its Transatlantic journey!Jaime =)
OK, let’s chat about comments. I have been reading them each and every day along with the 50,000 weekly hits the comments are one of the most important parts of the blog thingy. Please keep them coming and remember, if you need my help, just include a “please reply” at the top. I have recently helped many people re-book from their Carnival Liberty European cruises to the Carnival Dream and Emerald Princess and am currently working on other people’s concerns, as well. ………..I remain at your service.
Here are today’s John Replies
Matt Asked:
i’m sorry but royal caribbean is the best…. with the royal promenade flowrider, and everything is so new and clean. Carnival ships are old and gross. I was just on freedom of the seas and WOW. it is huge. the theater is state of the art, and the cruise director richard spacey is funny. sorry carnivalJohn Says:
Hello Matt,
Thank you very much for taking the time to write about how much you love Royal Caribbean. It sounds like their ships are fantastic, however saying our ships are old and gross is just not true. Anyway, the most important thing is that you enjoy cruising, which is wonderful for the industry. I wish you happy voyages.Best Regards,
John
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Sallie Asked
Stephanie, please send this onto John and thank you for all you do. I hope your mother is well.
Dearest John,I wanted to thank you for your help and suggestion on us doing something special for Martin (was Victory Casino Host) on our cruise this past October 26th. We were able to take him out to lunch when we were in St Kitts and had a terrific time. Martin is a wonderful gentleman. So full of life and energy and he loves working with Carnival and was so happy he got promoted to his new position in the Corporation. I for one feel Carnival made an excellent decision.
Anyway, our lunch was terrific and although saddened that Martin will not be stationed on just one ship so that we may visit him again, I know we will cross paths again someday.
Thank you so much John. This made our cruise extra special.
Please send my/our love to Heidi and desk and I am anxiously awaiting meeting you on BCv2 so that I can give you a huge hug of thanks in person.
Sallie
Thong Princess in training
A proud member of King Ed’s Evil KreweJohn Says:
Hello Sallie,It was wonderful to hear that you had a great time with Martin. He’s a terrific guy and definitely in the right position. I’m glad I could be of assistance. Thank you for your kind words for Heidi and I as well as asking about Stephanie’s mum who is doing well.
All the best,
John
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Sandytoes
Hi John,
Thanks for your blog on the Ruby Princess.
Love your tie!!
Great Videos as well!Can you ask James Lay (Ruby Princess Cruise Director) a question for me.
I’m curious about exclusive Sabatini’s breakfast for suite passengers.
Is that just for Full suite passengers?
Or, are mini-suites entitled to the same perk?What’s on the menu?
Happy Cruising,
Sandytoes
(Chris)John Says:
Hello SandyToes,Great names by the way. You’ll be happy to know that if you are in a mini suite the Sabintini’s breakfast thingy applies to you. I will ask James for the menu and get it to you as soon as possible. I’m glad you enjoyed the blog.
Cheers,
John
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jschne1013 Says:
John,
I was wondering, with gastric bypass on the rise is carnival considering a bariatric menu for these people?Thanks for your time
John Says:
Hello jschne1013,That’s a very interesting question and the honest answer is I don’t know. I am sure that if requested in advance we could provide the food groups required for a bariatric menu. We already do this with many other dietary requirements. If this is something you need help with I would be happy to assist.
Thanks mate,
John
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IndyDan Asked:
John Please Reply
I just wanted to let you know that I am a huge fan of the blog thingy. I discovered your blog only 3 months ago when my wife and I booked our 5th Carnival cruise. We were perusing the Carnival website looking at different itineraries, when I noticed the link to your blog. I immediately recognized who you were. You were the fellow that was the cruise director on our first Carnival cruise aboard the Imagination in October 1995. At the time, the Imagination was the newest ship in the fleet, and we thought you were a hoot. I had always hoped you would be the cruise director on our subsequent cruises, but alas, you were not.
My wife and I sail on the Carnival Valor the 14th of December. We are flying into Miami the evening of the 12th and will be staying at the Intercontinental hotel for 2 nights. Knowing that you must get tired of eating room service, and dining alone, we would love to take you to dinner, if you are still in Miami. Afterwards we could have a cigar, and I could then scare the crap out of you telling you stories about our 4 Thingy’s (2 boys and 2 girls). Please let us know if you would be available. Give our best to Heidi.
Regards,
Dan & TanyaJohn Says:
Hello Dan and Tanya,The Imagination feels like such a long time ago. I’m glad you have such happy memories of our time together. I wish I could be with you before your Carnival Valor cruise, however I will be home in England with Heidi and the thingy. If you wouldn’t mind dropping me a line just before you sail with you cabin number I would appreciate it. Best wishes to you and the family,
Cheers,
John
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Tim and Diane Asked:
John, Please Reply.
Sorry that we unable to catch up with you later on Thursday. We did however pass the cigar cutter on to James who said he would see you in December.
Tim and DianeJohn Says:
Hello Tim and Diane.Having to disembark the Ruby Princess without saying goodbye to you was difficult especially as you had a cigar cutter for me. I actually wrote about you in the Princess blog and there was a video of you. Did you see it? Hope all is well and it was an honour to meet you both. I will pick the cigar cutter up in November.
Cheers,
John
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Zgwortz Asked:
Hi John! (Reply at your leisure…)
So I was typing a note on my roll call on CC, and mentioning how I’m going to have to search for some birch beer in Florida (as well as get a bottle or two of root beer) before my trip on the Carnival Splendor on the 17th, so I can make definitive scientific tests to determine which makes the better ice cream float. (Those of you who believe that Coke, or something other than root beer or birch beer, is acceptable in a proper ice cream float are heretics and advised to stop reading now…
I, of course, have to do this because Carnival doesn’t serve either one on board… and it occurred to me that *you* were the ideal person to ask “Why not?”
I mean, looking back through your blog (I’m only a recent reader – but Search is my friend…), it’s clear you enjoy root beer as well, of the diet variety. I actually prefer the unleaded version to drink as well – but not when making floats, which, in my experience, requires the actual leaded version.
Carnival gets big kudos for me for adding the extra virgin stuff (Caffeine Free Diet Coke) a while back. Before that, I was always in need of bringing a dozen or more 20oz bottles on a long trip so I wouldn’t overdo the caffeine and end up sick. (Too much caffeine does that to me…) Now I bring just enough so I don’t have to go looking for an open bar at the ungodly late hour I usually get back to my cabin.
But it seems to me that adding root beer and diet root beer, at least, to the selection is an idea whose time has come, at least when departing from an American port.
So, who do we need to nag to get this to happen?John Says:
Zgwortz,What a great question. Yup, I agree we need to serve root beer and in my opinion Stewart’s which is the best. As you quite correctly said we just recently added caffeine free diet coke and I will make a suggestion that root beer be next. Your nagging may work. Hope all is well and have a great trip on the Carnival Splendor I wish I could be with you.
Cheers,
John
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Amanda Asked:
URGENT – John please reply
Hi – I am an avid reader of this blog thingy and I love it. You make me laugh and cry, but most of all you make me want to read it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…
My husband and I are sailing on our third Carnival cruise on the 29th of this month. We will be sailing on the Splendor and are so excited about seeing the new shipJohn Says:
Hello Amanda,Thanks for the wonderful words about the blog. It’s great to know it’s appreciated so much. I wish I could be with you on your Carnival Splendor cruise. Can you tell me which cruise you’re doing eastern or western and I will then give you my personal “must see” places. I hope our thingy is as delightful as yours and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best Wishes,
John
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Today, I am in the office for more meetings about your future. These include some more visits to where you live…..these are very exciting and I will let you know more about this very, very soon.
I must admit, I find meetings very tiring and sometimes a little frustrating. On the ship we call each other………decide what we want to do…………..and do it. Now, I know things are a little different here in Corporate America and I have to get used to the scenario of 20-plus people sitting around a desk for three hours. Anyway, there are exciting things ahead and on Thursday and Friday I will find out how and if they involve me ………….. or should I say………..us.
Tomorrow, look out for a special blog feature from our good friend at Cunard, the incomparable Peter Shanks. Peter will be writing about the last days of the Queen Elizabeth 2 and a ceremony that involved a good bye from an old friend and a dedication remembering the ship’s life not just as a luxury ocean liner but as ship who did her part for Queen and country. That will be in tomorrow’s feature and I know it will be a very special one.
Today is Veterans Day and before a personal tribute from me I want to talk about a blogger friend of ours David Polwaski. He is a British soldier based in Afghanistan. He reads the blog regularly and I am sure many of you remember him from the Bloggers Cruise last year.
He e-mails me every week and I wanted to share some of his stories with you. David drives a fuel truck and is a mechanic for the Royal Engineers…as he says “he is a back room boy.”
Their lives — far from the fighting, behind the blast-proof walls and the razor wire and the guard dogs and the sentries — is about as horrible as it’s possible to imagine. Unless you work for the Iraqi Sewage Company.
Some are based at Camp Bastion, in the middle of the desert. The view is grey. You look over a vast grey camp with grey buildings to the grey concrete walls and beyond to the grey desert that blends into the dust-choked grey sky. There is no green. There is no yellow. There is no relief. And of course, this being the army, everything has to be done according to the time clock.
And at night it’s cold. Bitterly, numbingly cold. So cold that even the Eskimos roll their sleeves down. Happily the tents have heaters, which sounds lovely. But annoyingly the heaters in question have only two settings: “off” and so “on,” you could bake a bloody potato in there.
I should mention at this point the lavatory doors, which someone erected four inches from the bowl. This is fine if you have no legs, but everyone else has to leave the door open. And I’m sorry but doing your number twos in plain view of everyone is only all right if you are a yak or have gone camping.
So, before I talk about those who have served I want to ask you to remember the ones serving today…….not just the “Glory Boys” but the men and women behind the scenes…….let’s remember them today.
The delete button and I have become good friends…………..I just can’t find the right words to talk about those who have given service ……so instead I decided to make a short video. I hope that’s OK with you.
Time for a cup of tea
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Filed under: Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel, Video | Tagged: Carnival Splendor, Jaime's post, John's Replies, Veterans Day
I was in southbeach today passing the intercontinetal on my way home in a hurry, and will go see the Carnival Liberty on sat., or the Carnival splendor on sat.(I think thats when she comes in) hope you got the questions,
JAKE S.
Specialty coffees… humm… I have to admit that I ONCE had a mocha frappachino something or other with no whip but it left me with terrible ummm…. uhhhh… gastric distress… with the attendant results. Never again.
Sadly, I’m not a fan of tea, either. It just not… well… my cup of tea.
Now, I DO enjoy, on rare occasions, an espresso. NOTHING is more conducive to boosting the heart rate than espresso… other than running a marathon…
I’m WAY pumped to get on the Splendor and shoot hundreds of pictures of everything. Please tell Goose that it’s law that he pose with our ‘Cruisin’ With the Crazies’ mascots. By the way, our sailing for next September is SOLD OUT… not just my group’s cabins but the entire ship!!!
Pass along my howdies to the lovely Heidi and Desk. Stephanie… you’re the best.
Ciao!
Host Mach
John, I love tea. My oldest son went to China this past summer, and the only thing I asked him to bring back for me was tea. And he did – four containers of oolong. We also have a number of teapots and a proper Royal Doulton tea set my husband bought in England on a business trip some years ago. A funny tea story from my husband (who spent a year in London as a student at City University): in 2001, he and our oldest son were on a train from York to Glasgow, and a gentleman in the car asked if husband would keep an eye on his luggage while he went to the cafe car; he also asked whether he could get my husband something to drink, and my husband asked for a cup of tea. The gentleman, realizing my husband was American, wondered why he didn’t want a cup of coffee – and my husband, in reply, said “I lived here for a year, and I know better than to ask for coffee!”
I enjoyed your video, and I’m looking forward to your “behind the scenes” tour. Maybe we’ll get to “meet” our PVP! I know your schedule’s a bit up in the air, but I do hope your plans still call for the 14 February sailing on Glory – I’d love to have a cup of tea with you!
John:
I know you “fret” about your Blog…that we will grow tired…that we will become disinterested.
And if this was a normal Blog, those concerns may very well be valid.
HOWEVER, this is not a normal Blog. This is a conversation with someone that we count as a friend. Not an acquaintance…not just “someone we know” that works for Carnival….but we have a friend, in you and Heidi. That is the gift you and she give to us.
We share joys. We share sorrows. We share more of our lives with you and Heidi than with some of our family members.
This friendship is not a vertical silo. It is infectious. It spreads from you and Heidi…to Bloggers we have never met and may never meet in person.
But it does not matter, because we meet every day on your Blog.
And the added bonus is that we share a love of cruising in general and Carnival specifically.
Just as we will not ever grow tired of talking with a friend…we will never grow tired of your Blog or the many people we are blessed to call “friend” who join you every day.
Linda (Mom of your “friend” DJ)
Hi John and family
Great blog and words can’t say how wonderful these comments are for our troops. Thank you for everyone who served and continue to serve representing our peaceful nations.
Nice to hear from Jaime and congrats on making back to port after 5 days at sea.
Thanks for everything you do John (and Stephanie).
Take care and have fun!
David
JOHN
we love the blog,,please keep it going
you put a smile on our face.
we look forword, every day, to read your
words of wisdom.
can wait for the nola cruise.
your florida friends
tom & jane
hi john hate to bother u but we are cruiseing dec 1 to the 5th on imagination my son is very picky he loves grilled cheese please could u get that on the menu and breakfeast he eats it for breakfeast lol.im in a i guess a jr suite i read something about a breakfest menu. whats that? do we get a 24 hour menu? ty so much if u could get grilled cheese on the menu. ty
People not reading the blog?? Do you seriously believe that?? LOL You are very naive …forget about it. ADDICTION
Sail in as many ships as I can..????. ummm
VICTORY VICTORY VICTORY!! ( We are dancing and everything) VICTORY Victory Victory .
Just arrived here and I think people would like to know it better. Don’t you think?? Victory viiiiiiiiictoryyyyyyyyyyyyy
People don’t you want a blog from the Victory?? YES YES!
VICTORY VICTORY
Que loca!
JOHN about a previous post question, actually the studies on cell usage turned out to be especially bad for developing kids, everyone should keep cell phone calls to under 10 minutes or dont use one at all. they do send cancer causing waves into you brain, the worst being within six inches of the antenna on the phone. scientists think we will start seeing more of this as time goes on considering the explosion of cell phones over the last decade. I recently turned of my service from sprint and got a house phone. after all we have computers at home or laptop dancer thingies lol, we do not need the internet on our bloody phone, or to talk while were taking a crap. sometimes new technology can be ridiculous, and people dont use their head to think things through, (including myself)
Hi, John,
Really enjoyed this post. I like tea, but have to admit mine is a bag in a cup of water in the microwave! And I drink it “straight” or maybe with a dollop of honey. (Is that gross?)
Scott worked in South Africa (Cape Town) for a while several years ago and I visited a couple of times. While there I developed a taste for rooibos, or African red bush, tea. Had some at an Animal Kingdom Lodge restaurant at Disney World once and since they didn’t sell containers for take-home the waiter very kindly gave me a baggie full from the kitchen. (Disney “cast members” are encouraged to go “above and beyond” kind of like Carnival employees.)
Jaime sounds kind of eager to see land again! This is the cruise we were booked on, but had to cancel. I would have been disappointed anyway had I gone and you had not been CD.
I like your videos. And a special thanks for your tribute to veterans. We have several in our family, including Scott who was in Viet Nam. So sorry you never got to know your grandfather. Oh, and I had forgotten about the red poppies. I think it was the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) here in the states, or at least in the south, used to hand them out in the streets for a small donation (actually, they would give you one whether or not you donated). I don’t think they do it anymore. I wonder why not? I remember very well wearing them as a child and as a teen.
I agree with your Dad. I, too, think you are becoming more American than British…except for the accent, of course, but you could probably do a passable Texas drawl. You, Heidi and Thingy should just go ahead and move here.
Give my regards to Heidi, Thingy and Stephanie.
Your Pal, Myra
Oh, and the same goes for microwaves, everyone should use a toaster oven. another pointless dangerous technology.
Linda…. well said. She is the voice for all of us, John. Just as all of the Krewe have become as one big family , you and Heidi are not only friends, you are part of that family. We have taken you under our wings and into our hearts and families.
Don and I met several of the Krewe for the first time while in Philly and it was like we had known them all of our lives.
So John, I guess you are stuck with us. It will have to be you that says enough is enough. We aren’t going any place. We’ve got a baby to help you and Heidi raise, remember?
I watched the bedtime story today while I was ironing and starting to get our clothes together for our cruise on the Splendor in 18 more days………wohooo. Forgive me I got carried away there for a sec. Anyway I couldn’t help but notice the difference in you last Jan and you in Philly. You’re looking good, keep on doing whatever you are doing. . The weight loss is starting to show.
Goodnight
Countess Carolyn and Don
Hi Heidi, pamper yourself and enjoy the peace and quiet. 2 o’clock feedings aren’t too far away.
Hi John!
I’m a new reader and officially ADDICTED to this blog. Which is much cheaper than being addicted to Starbucks by the way! I booked my 2nd cruise. My hubby and I will be sailing to the Bahamas on the Fascination on April 9th. This would be a great trip for you and Heidi right before the thingy arrives! Any tips for fun on the ship or the port? We are super excited and counting down the days. We had our own lil thingy in January weighing in at 2 lbs so it has been a long, stressful, joyous, wonderful, exhausting year and i cannot WAIT to be on that ship in the middle of the ocean. I don’t see any reason anyone would take any vacation besides a Carnival cruise…it is so stress free!
Thanks for the great blog…and don’t worry, we’ll keep reading as long as you keep typing!
John, I’m not even going to touch the TEST or TENT icals thingy. I don’t want to put Stephanie’s mind in the gutter anymore then you already did.
I never thought I was creating such a monster when I suggested the first bloggers cruise way back when. Now your talking about 3 more. I think I’m going to have to apply for a job on a Carnival ship. The only way we could do the TA you mentioned as a bloggers cruise is if it was a BTB on a CUNARD starting in New York. A 12 day cruise with only one stop boy would that be a party.
BIG ED
The no fly guy
Please reply
John – My family is taking the Splendor on Dec. 20. Since I know you’re a port expert, what do you recommend? (San Juan, St. Thomas, La Romana and Nassau). We have a 9 year old and a 12 year old. First time Carnival customers and looking forward to a holiday cruise. Thanks, and thanks also for the great blog. Very entertaining and informative.
Peter
John,
Keep up the fabulous blog thingy. You are permanently booked marked on my bookmark tool bar. I truly appreciate and enjoy your narratives and seeing your world through your eyes. Keep it up !!!!
Mary
John,
You NEVER have to worry about the blog and your readers!! If we didn’t love you and what you write, the blog would not have become so popular. You make us smile, you make us cry, you make us laugh, you make us think, you make us wish sometimes that we had stock in Depends because you are so funny! We love your stories, both from on and off the ship. I must admit though, that the idea of being on a cruise without you as the Director is a very sad thing for me! I have never laughed so much or had so much fun on a cruise as when you have been there! Once you are spoiled by Johnism’s, you are spoiled for life! Once you’ve experienced the best, there is nothing more, nothing less! I know that Carnival has many other wonderful Cruise Director’s, but consider me spoiled, and selfish–it is your face I want to see, and your voice and laugh I want to hear coming over the loud speakers or from the stage. YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT TO ALL OF US WHO KNOW AND LOVE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE HEIDI!!! There are many reasons why you are Carnival’s Senior Cruise Director! I am very glad though that you will be on the TA of the Dream next October and hopefully hosting blogger activities. I look forward to seeing you again! Thank you so much for all the video blogs–it makes us feel like we are there with you, to be able to see and hear you. Also, thank you for the wonderful tribute to the Veterans of all the wars, WE SALUTE AND THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE!!
Sheryl
Hi John! I love tea too! lol
Well I’m getting ready to leave on the beautiful Conquest on Sunday. In Dallas, you had asked me to drop you a line on your blog so Wee Jimmy may leave me a surprise. Well my cabin # is 9239. I am so glad I got to meet you. I found a picture on Cruise Critic that someone took of us talking. It was pretty neat. That was a great day!! Hope to meet you again on a future cruise!
Gabi Ryan
10 years old
Ok it is time for John to move to the next level. Stephanie, please help set up a My Space Account for the tea drinking, jelly bean loving, Master of the Blog thingy!
Camp Carnival for a two and half year old was GREAT! We were able to go ashore and let her stay behind and she loved it. The staff was very attentive and FUN. She keeps asking when she can go back to camp.
Side note — Granddaughter packed her camp carnival beeper in here DVD Player from the Ecstasy last week and we found it beeping after we left. We had paid the $75 dollar replacement fee and would love to return the beeper and even get a refund if possible. I could not find anything on the web site to help figure out how to do this.
Dear John,
Thank you for the tribute to folks that are currently fighting and us folks from the past! Thanks to Carnival for the Veterans special. We have taken our gambling winnings from the Legend and booked a cruise for our four children, their spouses, and our 5 grandchildren! Being able to book three staterooms at the military rate allowed us to take on such a trip! We look forward to seeing you and Stephanie and the rest of the bloggers on the bloggers cruise. Wish Heidi could be there! Please give her our best and take care of DESK! Please look up our PVP Natalie Savage while at reservations! She is the Greatest!
Give her our best!
John & Susan from Frisco
My Dear Friend John
Thank you for you wonderful words of support for our men and women serving in our armed forces.
As a Vet myself i know what it means to give your all for freedom and to enjoy the freedom that so many gave thier lifes in defence of. I also wish to thank you for getting back with me on the issue of the Grandkids and cabin space. we have desided to take them on another ship at a later date and carnival will be our ship of chose when we go .
Your Blugs have been very inforative and i enjoy reading them every day to see what you come up with next. Keep up the great work and give my wife and I our love to you heidi and the (desk) on this for sure with that name you have to watch what you say when you say put the in the desk!!! grin anyway have a great day and we will see you tomorrow
Your Friends
Dave and Diana
A time for reflection and appreciation for our military service persons both past and present that have defended and continue to preserve our freedoms.
Thank you to all …… Army ….. Navy……. Air Force……Marines!
The Flying Dutchman
Sad as it may seem there are more than a few intellectually challenged numbskulls that believe the every ostentatious of the seas ship is spiffily new, overtly huge, and uber fabulous. Only complete and utter nincompoops would believe that one ship (of the most current class in service) in a cruise line’s fleet is an exact replica and representative of an entire fleet. I find it gross that there are so many dingbats in the world today.
Have Your Steak and Eat It Too and NOT pay extra for it.
John,
I grew up on tea… yes, even as a child, I wasn’t a milk drinker…. I would drink tea. And still do today. I have to have my coffee in the morning, but I drink many cups of tea in a day. I did look up your P.G. Tips, what a great site. Love the monkey!!! I will check it out even more tomorrow.
Enjoyed the video. It’s always nice to see you and love that english accent! Looking forward to the video on Thursday. Hope you can make it work. BTW…. we will never get tired of your blogs! It’s part of our daily routine!!!
Hello to Heidi and “Desk”! Hello also to Stephanie, it was nice to see you today too!
Hugs!
Princess Barb
Hi John
I am a coffee man myself ,but Liz always tells me that the reason the tea is’nt the same as in England is because they dont boil the water as hot and it does’nt tastes the same as a result.
John, (please reply)
I may not post often, but my husband and I have been faithfully reading your blog daily…. it is one of the MUST Reads daily!
I am glad we have had the priviledge of cruising with you… not once, but twice…. for I can hear your voice when I read what you have written….. your wierd humor and wonderful take on things is so entertaining!
As far as Tea and Coffee go… I am a tea girl, but not real tea.. just a good ole cup of Lipton Tea for me. BUT imagine my horror when I found out my 10 yr old has discovered Coffee! On a recent trip to Boston, I asked Matthew what he got with his spending money….. Clam Chowder and Starbucks Coffee – Yikes!
We have just booked our 9th cruise on Carnival – on the Pride in April… on her brief stop in Miami before she heads to Baltimore.. and this will be our first AFT Balcony – I hope they are as special as others claim they are!
I am going to have to Keep Matthew away from the Specialty Coffee Bar… I can see him getting chummy with the Barista!
Quick Question…. just being curious here….. just how many Cigar Cutters have you recieved since you blogged about your terrible experience at the airport? Of course I wanted to buy one too, but I read that others beat me to it!
Hang in there at those meetings, you will be home with Heidi and Thingy before you know it!
Catrin
Dear John:
We love your blog — it makes a dark day sunny. Please don’t ever stop expressing yourself in your own unique way.
Best to Heidi and desk.
your other florida friends, Mary Lou & Lee
Hi John..you talked me into it…We leave Sat. to join the RUBY Princess (a527), Nov. 15th then a week later to join the CROWN Princess (again A527)..I will try to post a few photos when I get back
all the best to “thingy”
Bob
Great blog yet again John! Very excited about the trip through reservations! Great idea!! Hopefully my hero Cynthia will be shown (the res lady I mentioned a few days ago)! Say hi from me! haha! Will be great to see the magic that happens behind the scenes – from a simple call to e-docs a little while later!
Thanks so much for taking the time to thank the Vets John. Before becoming an agent, I was in the Canadian Military for 16 years. So Rememberance Day (as we call it in Canada – along with wearing a poppy) has always been a proud day for me. To reflect on those who never ask why…they just do it so that others can have a chance at a better life. And I constantly try to instill that same level of pride and respect in my son. Thanks John!
Well have to get packing – head to Orlando the day after tomorrow to set sail on the Glory on Saturday! YAY!
Cheers!
God bless the troops! Thanks for that, John. Let’s hope the next administration doesn’t decimate and humiliate them.
Jeff
Hello John
I have just had quite a laugh at your story and although I very much like Chai Tea (depending on the brand) I found your comments very amusing and for a guy home sick with a bad toothache…it was a welcome relief for a few minutes. Being of English decent myself, I will when I’m feeling better be going to Starbucks to see the momentary confusion that ordering straight tea can cause for myself. And yes… I will be using Splenda too!
Cheers Mate
Glen
Hi John,
Do I have to say it again – I LOVE JOHN’S BLOG THINGY. Gee, that would make a great t-shirt. Oh wait, I already have one that says that!
I’m a one cup a day coffee drinker, but my sister is the tea drinker in the family (tea bag style). I have to admit though, that I do like English Breakfast tea, with milk & sugar (or Splenda if I can get it).
It was good to hear that Heidi is well and the little thingy too.
I am almost positive that Root Beer was available on the Miracle. What is Pibb?
My cabin on the Miracle looked like a menagerie. Instead of removing the towel animals from the night before, the steward (sorry, I can’t remember his name) left them all grouped together. My favorite was the parrot on a perch hanging from the curtains across the balcony door, next to the monkey.
Can’t wait to hear about your meetings.
Later,
Carol
John, Please reply
I have to say that Linda (DJ’s MOM) hit it right on the Head about the bolg. My Feeling exactly. Please keep up the good work. and for those who have served and are serving thank you for remembering us.
Are you still comming to Boston on Sunday, and will you have time to meet? if Not or youare going to be too tired, No Worries, I completely understand. I know what it is like to travel like you have been over the last couple of weeks.
If you haven’t already talked to the people in charge of promotions about Jamie and promoting her to a higher position with in the company, I suggest you do before yuo loose her to some other
cruise company. we kow they read your Bolg to steal ideas and I am sure they won’t even hesitate to steal personal as good as Jamie.
I was looking back at some old pictures I have of the Carnival Destiny when she came to Boston oh so many years ago, (I remember it being rainy) If I can get them scanned into the computer thingy I will send you copies of them. Was Heidi with you on that trip? I have a picture of a girl who looks like her but I don;t think it was.
Take care Hello to Stephine , Heidi and Desk, (My wife just shook her head when I told her the Babies name) and let’s not forget Jammie,
Your Friend In a COLD Boston (by the way the weather should be good Mondayt and Tuesday, But Cold)
Capt Bill
For the bloggers that DO like chai:
Oregon Chai………..mmmmm. This can be ordered on lots of websites. I get the concentrated mix. Purple and yellow box, or it’s not the real thing.
Please Reply to Joe and the Polecat (see above).
Hi, John,
I’m being a “butt-in-ski” because I noticed a legitimate question in this bloggers comment, but since he didn’t specifically say “Please Reply” I thought you might miss it. Hope I’m not being out of line.
Your Pal (and also a friend from Florida), Myra
Hello John,
I love your blog thingy, and read it as often as possible. I just had to comment on a couple of things from recent days:
1. I was shocked that someone working in a shop in the US couldn’t speak English. It should be a requirement for the job, period.
2. I am a coffee drinker, since I was 8. I don’t like Starbucks coffee, nor do I like espresso. I believe Dunkin’ Donuts makes the world’s finest coffee. This is because they grind the beans just before they make the pot, any pot older than 20 min. is tossed out, and they offer real cream, unless you prefer milk or skim. They always have sweetener. I have been drinking what my friends and I call “hippy tea” since the 70’s. I like it on a cold evening, when I don’t feel very well. It’s good with a little honey. If I’m drinking real tea, I like “Earl Grey. Hot.”
3. I was glad the candy was given to charity, and that no one got hurt. Sorry it didn’t go as planned, but that’s the ad agency’s fault, in my opinion. It reminds me of the WKRP in Cincinnati episode when they wanted to do a promotion at Thanksgiving time. They got a bunch of live turkeys, and were going to do a “great turkey give-away” by throwing the turkeys from a helicopter. (Obviously this happened off-camera). No one knew that turkeys can’t really fly. Oooh. Good thing that was fiction.
4. I believe that if a person takes their first cruise, and really likes it, they will always compare other cruises (especially on other cruise lines) unfavorably. I have sailed on Celebrity, and the cruise was very nice, but I prefer Carnival. I wouldn’t say anything negative about a cruise line I hadn’t sailed on. That fellow who was quoting other people – well, he was misinformed, wasn’t he? Each cruise line had its own brand identity. As with any product, you need to do research on the different brands, and then try those that you might like. Some people won’t eat any ketchup but Heinz, some like Hunts, and others will say the generic brand is fine.
Whew! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
I have enjoyed Jaime’s blogs-within-the-blog. I especially liked the interview with Laurence, the production singer. I sing, so it was really interesting to me. Could someone ask him, please, why he doesn’t eat salt on production days? I’ve heard people say not to have dairy, because it makes some people congested, and I know alcohol isn’t good for the voice. But why not salt? Does it make you bloated so you can’t fit in your costume?
I’m really looking forward to the Blogger’s Cruise in Feb. Could we please have more details? Pretty please? You’ve been doling them out so stingily.
Looking forward to meeting you in Feb.
Cheryl D.
Hello John,
I’l star with the fact that some friends of ours just got back from there honeymoon on the Carnival Inspiration. They loved the ship and the food, not sure if they noticed much else…..
The tea story is great and so true, I drink most teas, from earl grey to yes, even the flower teas, and dont tell we also drink green and white tea too. That aside and I hope you are stil reading even if we do drink green tea….. I had a friend over and she does not drink coffe at all…. sad I know but true…. so I offered her tea. Well if you say you want “tea” and that is all you say I got the water to boiling and made her some tea, normal hot tea…. Truns out this is where my being a yankee in the south hits again she did not know what to do with it, and was trying be polite and drink it anyway… in the end I got a tall glass of ice and truned it into what she was expecting to get “ice tea” …. and to see the amount of sugar that is put in the tea would make a dentist turn over in his grave….. All I know if I want Ice tea that is what I ask for if I want Hot tea “tea” is all that is need to say….. well it is in New England anyway…… oh well, I still have on sugar in my “ice tea” Oh and we do keep splenda for quests to have in their tea of coffee, and I just put it out so it is not even needed to ask for it. And on hidden away teapot, just the plain everday (maybe ugly, but works) tea pot and coffee maker all well used and even a french press for the coffee too….. or is that a no no for you …. it makes good strong coffee better than starbucks….
looking forward to all you do, if on a saturday you will be in Tampa or Orlando/Cape Canaveral let us all know, as we are only about 90 minutes from both, the 2 boys love what you write even if they do not understand half of it…. and if you are going to use a Personal Vacation Planner Mike Alvira is the best… hint, hint, hint…..
Best to you,
to Heidi & the BABY too
the one
and only 1
Heidi-Beth
John, OMG you are learning “marketing speak” since you are using tenticles to reach out to people!
I think you should show us what it is like to be in all the Carnival departments one at a time so we can if we want to leave what we are doing and work for Carnival. Then you need to go through the steps the average person does booking a cruise, to booking excursions to boarding the ship like a first time cruiser so that people can see what its like!
I’m sure that Starbucks would have difficulty doing tea in any form. I guess it is to you in the US like it was for us in London–you couldn’t find a cup of coffee anywhere that wasn’t instant. They don’t drink it there so they don’t brew it.
Great job from Jaime as usual. I never thought of the extended days at sea as different for the crew before–very interesting. Everyone is excited to welcome the Splendor to Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday and then its just 6 days from then until I can get on! After 18 cruises, I still look forward to it and this was is so special since it is the first time for the grandkids and they are beside themselves.
I know you are so looking forward to going home for a while to be with Heidi and baby–she will have changed a lot since you have seen her.
John – PLEASE REPLY
Hey now, I almost took offense…
“Herbal tea is for people who do yoga and sit on the porch every night chanting.”
I do yoga and I’m not the kind of person who drinks herbal tea and sits on the porch chanting… ask any of the Krewe! LOL! I just enjoy the extra bendy-ness.
In fact I don’t drink any kind of tea at all, or coffee. I can’t actually even stand the smell of coffee. Blech. And tea ain’t much better.
Okay John, I have to ask… How are the entertainment plans for the Bloggers Cruise going? Has anything been nailed down and committed to yet, particularly where the piano bar is concerned?
As it gets colder here in NYC, I find myself thinking about NOLA more and more.
All the best to you, Heidi, Desk and the incomparable Blog Mistress Stephanie.
Cheerios,
Laura (aka divetrash, aka Princess Laura, the sweet and (fill in ironic adjective here) of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe
John love the video blog. Will keep reading the blog, as long as you keep writing,love hearing the news (just keeping my fingers cross carnival will come back soon to Europe, waiting to book…….) Hoping to sail on Dream next December 09 with the family, celebrating 10 years of marriage and husband promised to take me back to Vegas where we were married on christmas eve 1999, have told him forget Vegas get me on the Dream! Saw Heidi a couple of days ago, she was busy, so did get a chance to talk, seems strange you over there missing Heidi and I keep seeing her, anyway she looks lovely, hope all is going well for her and the baby.
Take care
love MIchellex
Hey John:
Loved today’s blog. I’ve always been and forever shall be a big supporter of our military. My father served proudly in WWII and was in the Army Air Corp. I’m also a big tea drinker especially a Black Iced Tea sweetened from Starbucks! Being a travel agent in OKC I put a bunch of people every chance I can on a Carnvial Cruise ship out of Galveston. It would be way cool if you manage to make it to the Conquest. All the Okies and the Texans would show you some good old fashioned “Hospitality!”
It’s still amazing to me that after 10 years of selling Carnival Cruise Lines that we (as travel agents) are still having to “educate” people about Carnival. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion about Carnival (like the above comment by Matt) What I want to know about “Matt” is have you ever been on a Carnival Ship? Try it you will like it!!!! Hey if it’s good enough for fans of Rick Springfield, Sammy Hagar, John Mayer and Lynyrd Skynyrd who are paying to go on a Carnival Cruise just to get to see these fine musicans;then it ought to be good enough for you Matt. John please keep up the awesome work that you do with the blog and getting the word out that Carnival is all things to all people…it makes my job of selling Carnival just that much easier! My best to you, Heidi, “Desk”, Jaime from the Splendor, Stephanie and finally Tom the camera guy…. Thanks again for being the world’s greatest and best Cruise Director cuz John you just plain Rock in my book!
John,
Why is it you only let us see Stephanie for a second on camera? Is it because you know she could get her own fan club that want to see her all the time? Or could it be you just don’t share video time well? LOL
Could we possible have a blog from Heidi herself? Miss hearing from her!
My husband spent 14 years in the Army, and still has many friends serving and coming home injured. When he tells them that we are going on another cruise; most of them reply the same way with well what does your wife do? She still can’t walk or do stairs…and Mr. Cheap says she has more fun than he does on the cruise. I’m sure your new commercials are going to be great…but I’m just suggesting including the physically challenged folks (and I would be more than happy to be a spoke person for them!)
Princess Susan
Hi John:
You do look well rested John, Heidi will be glad to see you! Tentacles and all.
I like your idea of going to the call center where they make the bookings. There is a wonderful woman works there called Bernadine Christian. She is my personal cruise consultant. If you could include her in your video, I would love it, I have never seen her, only her voice on the phone.
As in all businesses that serve the public, it is the people and the way they are motivated that make the difference, and that is why Carnival gets my business, thanks John for all you do.
Cheers Mate
Hi John…
Just wanted to make a comment to Matt …if Carnival ships are “Old and gross” as you say, why are you on the Carnival Blog. I couldn’t disagree with you more.
Diane
John, I can only repeat what all your friends have already said,”Keep blogging and we’ll keep reading.Loved the video and the tribute to the veterans.” Jeri
It was bound to happen …
Tea- a drink with jam and bread
Do A deer, a female deer
Re A drop of golden sun
Mi A name I call myself
Fa A long long way to run
So A needle pulling thread
La A note to follow so
Te A drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to do
Thanks to the incomparable Julie Andrews and Rodgers and Hammerstein
The Flying Dutchman
Just an fyi the Carnival Splendour’s (spelt correctly) web cam hasn’t updated its position since 10/26. Thanks for all you do I hope you Heidi and the thingy are well.
Take care
James
For years, I’ve had to explain that my being a teetotaler doesn’t mean I drink tea. It never works, though, because I *do* drink tea, and dislike the taste of coffee almost as much as I dislike the taste of alcohol.
I’ll use Splenda as a sweetener, and I used to like milk in my tea – but rarely do anymore, as I think it detracts from the taste. (and I like it fairly strong – steeped for a week is about right…
)
Oddly, I only really drink tea when I’m travelling – almost never at home. Most frequently, I’ll drink it at the end of a meal out – with dessert every evening on a cruise, for example. I *do* admit to drinking tea with breakfast when offered, but then I’ve also been known to drink Caffeine Free Diet Coke with breakfast, so I’m already far off the deep end with that. Tea for breakfast is a relatively minor heresy.
She probably won’t see this until after, but I hope Jaime has a good time at St. Maarten. I’ve only been there once, but it immediately became one of my favorite places. And there really is nothing better to do at 3AM on a cruise ship than have pizza. Well… other than go all the way forward and enjoy the dark and the stars and the breeze on your face and the sound of the sea, but then I digress, and besides, pizza comes first.
Hi John,
What another great blog! I agree with the others about our family. I haven’t ever met any of you but I’ve been here from the beginning and it really is a family. We’ve prayed for each other, cried for each other, but most of all laughed with each other because it’s you that brings us those smiles each and every day. As long as you blog, I’ll be here. Wow! 3 bloggers cruises next year? I’m sooooo excited! Geoff and I just might make it on 1 of them. As for tea, I’m a coke drinker myself. My momma drinks tea but because we’re from the south, it’s sweet iced tea! Does that count? Thanks for what you have said about our vets. My brother was 1 of those not with us anymore. God bless all of them and thank you to the men and women that are serving now. If you see my pvp Damion Nelson, tell him hi and the Gurneys still think he’s the best pvp in the world! Love to heidi and Desk.
Another of your Florida friends,
Leasa
JOHN!!!
Thank you for responding to SandyToes… or Ms. Toes… she’s a wonderful Cruise Critic friend and I posted the link to your blog for the Ruby Princess for her and other voyaging on her… You made her day!!! You really are a KING!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!
Lambie
Six words John–BLOGGERS CRUISE OUT OF NEW YORK!!!!
Just saw the newest towel animal bit on Carnival Fun site (the one with the elephant). Please post on utube so I can add to my facebook page. The swans are already on it. I ALSO spent about 15 minutes trying to keep that beachball up in the air on that game—help me! High score–27–bummer.
I get tea in “Starrtea” (get the pun?) all the time with no problem. We have two of them in my town. We also own a bunch of their rapidly plummeting stock. Another bummer. Anyway, come to Long Island and we will take care of you. Tea any way you want. I drink about 4 cups a day. Make sure you get the Joy Christmas blend at Starbucks when it comes out. Yummy.
Keep the blogs and videos coming. And thank you for remembering the Veterans. My dad is gone 15 years now, and he was in the WWII Army Air Corps. Luckily he survived; he actually never spent time out of the States, but was an air artillery instructor, and I hope what he taught some other servicemen helped them in their battles.
John -
From two veterans, thank you for the beautiful tribute.
Jon USN 1972-1981
Kathy USN 1978-1981
Don’t ever think that we don’t love you here. I wish I found this blog a long time ago. I cruise as a respite from my everyday crazy life… two young adult children with substance issues now in recovery, two unexpected granddaughters with a third unexpected grandchild on the way. No one should have my life so disappearing from reality by cruising twice a year, with girlfriends or my husband, is how I/we keep it together along with my long distance friends and phantom friends such as yourself. YOU are Carnival’s own “guest relations” department by yourself. If you do a Dream bloggers cruise, I hope I can be a part of it! Heidi is so lucky to have you and you’re going to be the best Dad! They created Camp Carnival for you and Heidi! Isn’t Carnival known for their “family cruising”! Cheers from central New Jersey – Trenton to the west, Princeton to the east!
John,
I too am a tea drinkings. Lady Earl Grey is the best. You often mention “Monkey tea”. What is it?
Charlotte
I just wanted to take a moment to reply to Cheryl D. I’m glad you liked entry. It was nice to get to a chance to shine a little light on the mechanics behind the magic of our production shows and it’s always great to hear from another singer. Best of luck to you in you endeavors. About the salt thing….the same way dairy coats your vocal cords making them thick and unresponsive, salt dries them out and makes them brittle and much easier to bruise and tired while you’re singing. Hope this helps a little. Best to everyone out in Bloggersville.
Lawrence =)
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