Wednesday, November 19th, 2008...7:13 pm
I hate jet lag
It has you doing the strangest things at 4 am. I won’t go into detail, but in the wee small hours of this morning, me and the toilet were joined at the bottom. After making my deposit and knowing that sleep would avoid me, I ventured downstairs and turned on the TV. In the US there seems to be a huge variety of programs available at 4 am while here in the UK your choices are very limited. However, there was one savior among the cookery programs and Chuck Norris who, at the age of 89, was trying to sell me a fitness machine………………and that savior was the movie Top Gun.
No man dislikes this film. If they say they do I suggest you look down his pants to see if he has a thingy as Top Gun is a male institution. It has great action and the greatest love story in the history of movies.
Now, I know what you are thinking…………….is the relationship between Mr. Cruise and the actress whose name I cant remember or be bothered to go Googling for really that great of a love story…………….well…………….no……………….the love story I am talking about is the one between Maverick and Goose. I defy anyone with an Adams apple not to cry like a baby when Maverick is cradling Goose’s head as they bob about in the sea. It’s a movie that says if men want to hang around in locker rooms wearing just a hand towel then that’s OK. If they want to fly fast planes all day and then oil each other up before playing a game of beach volley ball…………that’s OK, as well………..I think. This movie oozes masculinity in ways a movie had not done so before.
Now, I admit that I am not a big fan of the poisoned dwarf that is Mr. Cruise but here as “Maverick” he excels. I love all the nick names …….. Maverick ………. Goose ………. Iceman……………I wonder what mine would have been……………….
“Fat Bastard” ……..you have Migs on your tail”………….or
“Calling Sperm of the Devil…………..you have French boogies at 6 o’clock”…………..
“Fighter command this is Sperm of the Devil …..How do you know they are French fighters?”……………
“Sperm of the Devil……….this is fighter command…………the planes are flying backwards.”
I digress. So, I watched this movie last night and I learned a lot. First of all, it is more important for a man to win the support of his peers……….not his bosses. Remember the moment Maverick is given a bollocking for performing a brilliant but dangerous maneuver during training. Well………..although he got a massive telling off Maverick didn’t care…………he was the coolest man in the room.
Most importantly, Top Gun is useful tool to show how men make friends. If you meet a man and you hate him instantly in the way that Maverick hated Iceman at the start of the film it is probably because you are jealous of him. However, men are strange creatures and, by the end of the movie, Iceman utters that immortal line, “You can be my wing man” and they end up best mates, retire, go to work for Southwest Airlines and have rumpy pumpy with lots of flight attendants.
After the movie, I managed to go back to sleep and awoke — I am ashamed to say — at 11 am. I have not done this since I was 19 years old and that was only because I had drunk lashings of Mad Dog 20 20 the night before.
As I sit here and write I have CNBC on and they are interviewing someone who apparently is going to change Scotland from a country full of haggis and men in skirts and into an enormous golf course.
There is a strange looking American man whose hair is on back to front saying he is going to build what sounds like the single most humongous development on some of the world’s most beautiful countryside.
Oh, I just realized who the weird looking chap is………….it’s Donald Trump, owner of the Miss World pageant and believed – by me – to be the world’s largest consumer of Just For Men. He is saying it will be the greatest golf course in the world. Can you even begin to imagine the depths to which he will sink in pursuit of this billion-dollar goal? How many marble pillars will there be? How many statues of giant winged lions will guard the entrance?………Is there enough onyx in the world?
Scotland has loads of golf courses already, have a look at it on Google Earth Thingy. When Trump has finished it’ll look even more ridiculous than his hair.
So, guess we had better talk about the Bloggers Cruise as I seem to have upset the apple cart and gotten some bloggers as angry as someone who has just discovered they have to pay for a steak in the dining room knowing their is no charge for it on a Carnival ship.
The first I heard was when I was contacted by Big Ed via Stephanie and then others followed……………….thanks, Ed, for letting me know. Then however, there were many from the New York area such as Chef Kevin who were as happy as someone who ordered a steak knowing that their friends were having to pay for it on the “Extra Charge of the Seas.”
Seriously…………….it’s my fault. I am sure that during discussions and blogs and bringing out new ships and “insert excuse here” I messed up. I think I said that it would be on the Carnival Dream out of New York…………….and then later said the December 9-day cruise on board the Carnival Dream out of Port Canaveral. Anyway, regardless of what happened I need to fix this. So, as there is mixed emotion at play here I have decided that the Bloggers Cruise will be held on-board the Carnival Dream sailing out of ………………… New York………………….oh………………..and on-board the Carnival Dream sailing out of Port Canaveral in early December………………………………yep……………………………….
We are going to try and hold two Bloggers Cruises on our Leviathan vessel. I am sorry for the confusion but rather than disappoint anyone we will organize two special ………….make that two very special cruises on-board our new flagship.
Now, I realize that some will prefer the Florida cruise rather than New York cruise and I certainly know that some of you may be torn between the two. However, I hope that this gives you all a chance to choose which one is best for you. They will both feature lots of great gifts, chosen entertainment and of course as I won’t be the CD, specific and private bloggers events. Stephanie will need about 48 hours to post the fare codes, etc. and I truly hope that you will forgive me for the mass confusion I have caused.
I see I have lots of outstanding questions to answer and I will get to these tomorrow I promise so again, if you have a question or need my help, please mark your comments “John , please reply.”
Now, before the two Carnival Dream cruises we have, of course, the one that is just around the corner……………February 7, aboard the Carnival Fantasy. And so I thought it would be great to get a taste of what it’s like on-board and what we can expect by asking the erstwhile cruise director of the Carnival Fantasy, Big Tex, to write seven guest blogs. I didn’t give him any parameters only telling him to write what he wanted. So, ladies and gents………..please say hello to cruise director extraordinaire…………..Big Tex.
I’m still not sure how I ended up writing a guest blog for a week. John asked for a volunteer, and being a team player, I offered my services. I was quite certain that there would surely be someone more interesting, creative, or talented than me who would volunteer. Alas, I was wrong. So here I am, aboard the beautiful (and newly re-modeled) Carnival Fantasy as she sails towards New Orleans, trying to think of something, funny, clever, or remotely interesting to write.
Let’s start with a Happy Birthday Wish…for me. That’s right, today I turned 31. I suppose as far as birthdays go, 31 isn’t really a big deal. There are certain birthdays in a man’s (or woman’s) life that are real landmark events.
30 was a landmark birthday. My wife, Kimberley, who is also the Dance Captain onboard, threw me a huge surprise party. The only problem was figuring out how to get me there. Since I was promoted to Cruise Director in 2005, I don’t spend much time hanging out with friends, or anyone for that matter. Most of my time onboard the ship is spent with long hours in front of the computer, hosting shows and events, spending time with our guests, going to meetings, and well…you get the picture. Most nights, when the work is done, I’m too tired to do anything but sleep (much to the chagrin of my athletic and flexible wife). The party was held in one of the guest lounges here onboard the ship, the food was there, the drinks were there, the band was there and so were about 100 guests. Kimmy asked if I wanted to come out with her for a drink to celebrate my birthday, I said no. I could tell this didn’t sit well with her, but decided I would rather have an argument than go out. Then, in a stroke of brilliance, she had one of my staff call and tell me that a pipe had burst and all our equipment was getting wet. I stormed up to the lounge, ready to survey the damage and was shocked by the greeting I received from the partygoers. It was a great night and a lot of fun. A strange thing happened once the party was over. I got weird, really weird. I kept surveying my life and what I’d accomplished and feeling like it wasn’t enough for 30 years of work. I even started thinking of past birthdays and how they rated compared to that one. Here are three I could remember:
21 was a landmark birthday. I was able to buy beer. As most 21-year-olds do, I decided to buy my beer at midnight on my birthday. The guy behind the counter didn’t even ask to see my ID. I was crushed. But how the times have changed. I went to a football game two months ago and was seriously considering punching the guy behind the counter who asked for my ID – EVERY SINGLE TIME – I went for a beer. He asked for my ID 18 separate times that night. It was a good game, at least the parts that I remember. And speaking of 18…
18 was a landmark birthday. I was able to buy cigarettes and lottery tickets. So I bought 20 of each. Didn’t win a dime on the lottery tickets, but at least they were fun to scratch. The cigarettes were a different story, I didn’t even smoke. I threw them away once I got out the store. But I learned a valuable lesson that night, as a man, you are required to spend stupid amounts of money on things that you will never use or need. Do you realize that I own 15 cell phones? This is a problem because I only use one. I’ll be buying number 16 soon, because the one I bought six months ago doesn’t have the latest features. Speaking of 16…
16 was a landmark birthday. I had a driver’s license, a Mustang, lots of friends and the world by the walnuts. I decided to take my 3 best friends out that night for a joyride. I remember it all like it happened yesterday, even when I got pulled over doing 48 in a 35. Here’s me, my three buddies and a cop named Don Glass, pulled over on the side of the road. As Sergeant Glass approaches the car, all I can think is that my Mom is going to kill me, take away my license, take away my car and kill me again. I’m sweating, I’m nervous and I’m thinking of ways to get out of the ticket. When I couldn’t think of anything, I began to cry. And not just a few tears, actually sobbing, snot running from the nose, unable to catch my breath sobbing. Sergeant Glass didn’t give me the ticket and took pity on me. My “friends” however, did not. In fact, they told that story to everyone in the sophomore class and by the end of the day, the entire school knew. You haven’t been humiliated until some freshman in the Glee Club calls you “crybaby”…in front of your girlfriend…and you both agree.
So this year, I decided on a quiet night at home with my wife. Here are some shots of me opening my gifts!The most important book you’ll ever own: The Bathroom Reader. Full of minutia to keep you focused when things aren’t moving as smoothly as they should.
It gets cold in New Orleans and this stylish sweater should keep me warm.
Until tomorrow,
Tex
Please join me in thanking him and wishing the big guy a very happy birthday ……………..31 years old……………….lucky bugger. There will be more of Tex tomorrow.
So, let’s talk about me. What am I doing next year? Well, I thought I would tell you now as many of you have been asking. I will be assisting the company in my new role as BA…………..which to anyone just joining the blog thingy for the first time does not mean Bugger All but Brand Ambassador.
Ruben Rodriguez, our EVP, which to anyone joining the blog thingy for the first time, means Executive Vice President, has some brilliant new concepts that I am going to be part of…………..but when not doing that then rather than sit in my cubicle and flick boogers at the back of PA 007’s head……………….I thought I may try something called Cruise Directing.
Here is my tentative schedule which should be confirmed in the next day or so.
JANUARY 8 2009 – JANUARY 31ST – CRUISE DIRECTOR CARNIVAL DESTINY
FEBRUARY 7 – 12 – HOST BLOGGERS CRUISE ON CARNIVAL FANTASY
FEBRUARY 15 – APRIL 12 – CRUISE DIRECTOR ON CARNIVAL VALOR
APRIL 12 – FLY HOME TO HAVE A THINGY………..well, Heidi will have the Thingy, I will be on the floor with a large bosomed nurse standing over me slapping my face trying to make me recover from my fainting session. So, let me know what you think.
Obviously, I will be without Heidi and I am not going to get into how I feel about that ………………there will be time for tears later.
My day was spent getting used to being at home. This meant going to the supermarket. Now normally this meant I would mince up and down the aisles looking fondly at my old friends Mr. Chocolate Pudding and Mrs. Fruit Bun while Heidi charged around pushing her shopping cart. However, as she is with Thingy it was a little different today. I pushed the cart and if anything was above head height I had to reach up and grab it. Then while Heidi went to the toilet…………….she pees more than a horse these days……………I stood in line taking everything out of the shopping trolley realizing that the only treat in there was my hemorrhoid cream.
Once the 12-year-old Polish girl had finished calculating what I owed I pushed the cart to the car and loaded in all the bags. This was repeated once I returned home where as Heidi watered the porcelain yet again I was to be found fetching and carrying the groceries. It’s hard work this pregnancy thing. The afternoon has been spent on the phone to the office, e-mailing and working all of the above out.
I am looking at the table upon which I blog and there are two cell phones, two raspberrys and an Eye Pod…………….good grief. Heidi has an Eye Phone, an Eye Pod and an Apple Latop Thingy…………..it seems Apple has taken over the world. In essence, here on my table I have a Filofax, a television, a cinema, a portal to the Internet, a computer, a video camera, three telephones and a photograph album. Great, but is it necessary…….and what’s next?
It got me thinking, if women had their way they would team up with Apple and create……………….the iMan.
iMan’s biggest flaw it seems is his ………….. ummmm ……… thingy ………….. his ………… ummm ………..penis…………….it leads men astray and if women had their way I am sure they would get with the women executives at Apple and invent ………….the detachable thingy. Men would have to hand it to their wives before going out with their mates. She would keep it under the sink and men would have to pass through thingy detectors before entering bars, nightclubs or going to work. This may lead to men trying to sneak their thingies out of the house.
“Where are you going with that?”
“This?………ummmm…………just going out with my mates.”
“Well, you won’t be needing that then………….give it here and I will put it under the sink next to the bleach…………it will be there when you get home.”
The remodeled I Man would also have download capabilities. This would mean women would never have to ask men what they are thinking about as they would be able to discover the truth after the download is complete. Then, when they discover that the answer to the “What are you thinking about question?” is always the same …………… bottoms, bosoms, rumpy pumpy and Aston Martins……….they wouldn’t waste their time and ours by asking it every bloody day.
In years to come the iMan will walk among us. We must fight back and to make sure that you can recognize who is a real man and not the iMan you must carry am ID card. To get this Platinum Man Express Card you must be able to acknowledge the following.
1. WHAT IS THE ENGINE SIZE OF YOUR CAR?
2. YOU MUST HAVE SEEN GODFATHER 1 AND 2 TEN TIMES OR MORE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT ARE BRILLIANT BUT THAT GODFATHER 3 IS A LOAD OF YAK POO. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO ANSWER ANY AND ALL TRIVIA QUESTIONS ON SAID MOVIES
3. HATE THE FRENCH…………UNLESS YOU ARE FRENCH IN WHICH CASE YOU WILL HATE EVERYONE
4. DO NOT LIFT THE TOILET SEAT BEFORE TAKING A WEE WEE
5. NEVER EVER WEAR OPEN TOE SANDALS WITH LONG BLACK SOCKS.
The iMan is coming. In fact, they could be walking among us as we speak. Please be on the lookout for them and report any unusual findings. If you see a man going to watch a chick flick movie at the cinema…………..shoot him in the head……………he is an iMan.
I would write more but Heidi needs me to help her in the kitchen………………is it time to go back to work yet?
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy
45 Comments
November 19th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Hi John, Thank goodness it is settled. I thought we were going to miss sailing with you on the Dream cruising out of FLORIDA. I’m glad we aren’t going to spend all of that money to go to the Bahamas. Not my favorite place to go by no means.
I can see already we’re going to have to keep you busy so these next few months go as fast as possible. Well they need to go fast for Heidi also. At some point she will think she is as big as a rhino. But I hope you will keep reminding her how beautiful she is. I think there is nothing as beautiful as a pregnant woman.
We are counting down the days until we leave for Ft Lauderdale and our 8 day cruise on the Carnival Splendor…. 10 days to go….. woohoooooo
I can hardly wait.
Countess Carolyn
November 19th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Oh John
Thank you thank you thank you you have saved my marriage, my life, my thingy, that my belove wife was going to cut off because of the change of the Blugger Cruise now I guess it will be BC#4. and as a Ture man I could not allow that to happen it would be too painful to think about. This is one more reason we all love you John you do what you can to fix the broken and keep the fans happy. My hat off you you my friend and wait till Heidi starts with getting you up in the middle of the night wanting something crazy to eat with my wife is was chocolate and pickels korser. i i will be the frist to join you in the Men’s fight against iMan. We are waiting for the code to make the finnal plan and book our cabin remember you have to have a coke with us for our b-days.
Alway
Dconway
aka Dave and Diana
P.S. has Heidi told you yet if it a boy or girl let us know.
November 19th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Hi John!! Hi Heidi!!
Glad you are home and on a well deserved vacation
Enjoy it to the fullest
Muchos hugos
Nanni
November 19th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Hi John!
Even though jet lag sucks, its still nice to suffer it in your own bed.
Did I see Tex wearing a Cowboys hat? I love it and way to go!
Never thought I would see a blog where you are able to weave both Top Gun/Tom Cruise and cast to Donald Trump and his Scottish development. Gotta love the cable/satellite channels.
Exciting schedule ahead for you. I look forward to being along for the ride.
Thanks for posting on your first day back when you could be focusing on anything but the blog.
Take care and regards to Heidi/Thingy!
David
November 19th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
John, I see that Heidi and Kimmy used the same problem, “pipe had burst and all our equipment was getting wet”, to get you to your birthday parties. I sure hope pipes breaking is not a common thing on ships.
Boy do I have a hard decision to make BC3 or BC4. I think it will come down to a flip of a coin. Heads BC4 and tails BC3. Will let you know the results as soon as I find my two headed silver dollar.
BIG ED
November 19th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
John,
Funny, I was just thinking about Top Gun the other day because I was listening to the soundtrack yesterday while doing homework. Even though it was made in the 80s, it’s an awesome movie. I believe the training part you mentioned was at the very beginning of the movie? Kinda wished they used some of your nicknames in the movie after reading them…
November 19th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I watched ‘Top Gun’ quite a few times. As a pilot I can tell you that it’s got it’s moments but it also has huge flaws. The biggest flaw is Tom Cruise.
As of this moment it appears that I’ll miss both Blogger’s Cruises on the Carnival Dream. Nuts. Well, you surely can’t schedule to suit me. Other lucky Blog fans will have to take my place. Once again… bugger…
Happy Birthday Big Tex!!! Thirty one!!! I think I was thirty one once… it was so long ago I can’t remember…
You’re right, John. The iMan already exists. It was invented by my ex. That’s the reason she’s my ex…
Please pass along my best to Heidi and Thingy. You’re going to be parents.
Ciao!!
Host Mach
November 19th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Hi John,
Enjoyed the guest blog by Big Tex. He was the cruise director on the Fantasy for our July, 2007 cruise. Do you know if he will be the cruise director on the Fantasy in March, 2009?
Enjoy your time off.
November 19th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Well John, I guess it won’t happen next year. I’ll be on the Valor on Jan. 25, 2009. and you’ll be there later in February. Oh well, I missed you again. Someday my friend. Ciao.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
November 19th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Big Tex,
You have 79 days to “mentally prepare” before we get to meet again. Everyone was appreciative that you stopped in for our “cocktail party”.
John,
I know you are home but I am sure it does not feel like home for you since you are so used to being on ship. You need to borrow one of the cabin mockups and have it installed in your home.
Dave
November 19th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
John, Glad you made it home with out too much problems with US security. Also looking forward to the Dream out of Port C Florida. Take care enjoy the time with Heidi and Thingy.
Tim and Di.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
John, you are amazing. Not only did you fly home, create a Blog trauma, fix said trauma, go shopping, but you had time to tell us about it. I thought this was to be a vacation??
Did you notice that the videos on Funville showing the Pinata and Beach Ball has been edited – and I’m in the Pinata one! (If you know where to look.) I’m so glad to have made the trek to Philly to meet you and participate in the event. Now to decide on which cruise to take… hmmmmmm.
Cheers!
Derek
November 19th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
John, Please Respond,
Are you still thinking about doing a bloggers cruise on the Trans Atlantic sailing of the Dream in October 2009? And, if not, are you still going to be on there? That is when we are doing the Celebrate the Heros cruise. I hope your answer yes.
Sheryl
November 19th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
John -
To me, it is absolutely obvious what your nickname would be in Top Gun – Flatulence.
Flatulence, you have a MiG on your tail – let loose.
BRRRPPPP – one away.
Bingo – one MiG splattered.
Of course, you could go by your alternate nickname – brown spot.
———-
Big Ed – I have a suggestion for your BC#3 vs BC#4 dilemna. Board the Dream Weaver for BC#3, then stay on board until BC#4 is over. Upon completion, take Amtrak back to NY to pick up the car. Of course, hitting the Powerball would help on this idea.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Hello John,
One day I’m going to maybe be working whith your kid. I sailed on the Valor in 2006 & it was my first conquest class ship whith Darcy, who I understand is now on the Destiny.
I would love to see pictures of the new seaside theater once on the Destiny.
from, JAKE S.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Dear John (hello Heidi
…
John, John, John…thought you gave up talking about this, you began the sentence in proper context stating ‘Now, I admit that I am not a big fan of the poisoned dwarf that is Mr. Cruise’ and that is where it could/should have stopped.
I admit Top Gun is a great story line…BUT without doubt agree with Host Mach about the biggest FLAW.
Now, glad to learn you’re home safe and sound after your whirlwind excursion here in the states. Kudos to your new B.A. title and wish you continued success both in the cruise industry and the even greater challenge, fatherhood.
Can we pleeeeeease not talk about the dwarf again…have Heidi check my scrapbook page for reference.
Best to you both.
Cheers, Ray
November 19th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Hey John,
Interesting turn of events. We still will probably not be able to make either cruise, however, we would still like to find a way of getting together at Port Canaveral. More choices would seem to make it more possible. Perhaps there would be a “pre-cruise” bloggers event at Port Canaveral before the Eastern Caribbean. Just something for you to think about.
Til next time
Kevin
November 19th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
see you in new york for sure on the blog wow no airfare thanks
November 20th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Well done on the 9 day Dream Blogger. Must call Bernadine in the morning to set up.
Thanks
Looks like 5 days of scuba diving for me.
Any blogger divers out there?
November 20th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Hi John,
It figures, lol i give up….Mr. Murphy just wont leave….grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Cindy and i booked a cruise on the Freedom for Mrach 14 hoping that You would make the Trip. We were looking at the Valors dates and places but chose the Freedom … figures …… in your words tripple bugger…………..
well there are to 2 blogger cruises.
Glad you got home safe and sound, now your real work begins lol
our very best to Heidi and the Thingy
Semper Fi
ps. Can you repost the po box that Heidi set up as Cindy has something that she wishes to send to her.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Hello, John! (please reply, if possible),
I am a rather new to your blog, having found it after our first cruise in April – but have been an avid fan since. I look forward to your stories daily, and my husband is often drawn to my home office upon hearing me laugh while reading them – so thank you! I am treating my husband to a surprise second honeymoon cruise on the Conquest on 12/14/08, and wondered if you had any suggestions for a romantic excursion at any of the ports of call? We fell in love with the Conquest (and Ralph/Wee Jimmy) on our first cruise in April, and took most of the “touristy” excursions then (Tulum, Stingray City, etc.); but I am not sure what to book this time. Thanks in advance for any suggestions you may have, and enjoy your time at home with Heidi & the thingy!!
Sharon
November 20th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Life is good again. The Bloggers’ Cruise out of Cape Canaveral is still on and all is well with the world. You scared us – I didn’t want to have to cancel as it wouldn’t have been the same without being able to travel with you, and now that it is confirmed, I can sit back and Dream on the Dream.
So glad Heidi is doing so well and you are back there to spoil her for a while until you clamber back aboard the Destiny in a couple months. Be patient – the first thingy is the worst. Traveling in uncharted waters, so to speak.
Take care.
November 20th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Hi John!
Great Blog!!!!! I laughed all the way through…. I like this i-man idea!!! Heidi, were you looking for a business venture??? LOL
I too loved the movie Top Gun….can’t tell you how many times I have seen it and no…. it wasn’t for Tom Cruise. Just a great story and lots of action!!! (personally…. I liked Goose!)
Does this mean I have to go on 3 Bloggers cruises in 2009???!!! Oh my! What to do….. Such a sacrifice I have to make. Oh well…. I will give in! We’ll see you on BC2, BC3 and BC4!
Hugs to you Heidi and the sweet little Thingy!!!
Princess Barb
November 20th, 2008 at 2:15 am
Heidi is so lucky to have you and Thingy’s lucky to have you and Heidi. Enjoy your short R&R. Be nice to Heidi over the next few months. By the way, if you think your sleep schedule is rough now, just wait. I just found out from someone the true meaning of sleep like a baby…. you sleep for two hours and are up for two hours, you sleep for two hours and are up for two hours…….
Now for a blog topic: Guys and the Dentist. I’ve been married almost 31 years and my husband HATES the dentist but it’s now of dire importance that he get there or else, from a monetary perspective, I will have: 1) thrown down the hopper a quarter of the US $1800 I spend for family dental coverage; and 2) $4,000 worth of coverage he is entitled to use by December 31st!! When I heard this evening that he had broken molars that he hadn’t taken care of, I flipped, and out of my mouth came “I didn’t marry a redneck”…. you know those guys who walk around with no teeth, hunt (which he does do) and his idea of dressed up is a golf shirt and jeans (that part I’m ok with)! He’s only 51! He got up from the dinner table and didn’t speak to me the rest of tonight. I’d love for you to do a blog about men and their “fears” and then you wonder why God made women! Tee hee!!!
ps: my phobia about taking care of your teeth is really a health issue – men have died of heart attacks because they had an infected tooth (google Dr. G – the forensic lady coroner on TLC or Discovery and maybe you can find the episode). Heart attacks are an absolute fear of mine – I lost my dad at 57.
Cheers John and thanks for passing my other note about my Destiny cabin dilemma on. Hopefully Stephanie will be able to help me.
November 20th, 2008 at 3:21 am
JOHN PLEASE REPLY
I am booked on the HOLIDAY departing Mobile Alabama Jan 31, 2009.
Could you please tell me who the cruise director and Captain will be?
Thank You!
I am so glad you’re getting some time at home, you deserve it, and give my
best to Heidi and Thingy.
Happy Birthday to Tex, he’s a hunk!
As always, Stephanie, you are an awsome blogmaster!
Hi everyone, any fellow bloggers going to be on the HOLIDAY 1/31/09? Drop me a note and we’ll say hi julkg@yahoo.com
Happy (early) Thanksgiving to all who enjoy the holiday!
Julie Gantt
November 20th, 2008 at 3:23 am
Yikes head swimming……Bloggers Cruise 3.0 and version 3.01 ….This is almost like Microsoft with a flurry of updates …download and install and there is another one the next day……
Perhaps a poor analogy…..More like a touring group which due to the nature of the beast spans multiple venues …..It’s billed as the same but you get a different version depending on what area you choose…..Trans Siberian Orchestra…..Harlem Globetrotters….The name is the same but the players are different.
Revvin’ up your engine
Listen to her howlin’ roar
Metal under tension
Beggin’ you to touch and go
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone
Tom Cruise and the new KITT (err I mean Batman no uhhh Val Kilmer) going at each other in fighter jets and on the volleyball court circa 1986…….
machismo at its finest.
Yee Ha! Jester’s Dead
The Flying (requesting a flyby) Dutchman
November 20th, 2008 at 7:29 am
happy birthday Big Tex! We are so excited about the feb 7 bloggers cruise! I am sure you will add to the fun!
John, I too will miss the other bloggers cruises, darn it! But we are all going to have such a good time on the Feb bloggers cruise..I can’t wait!
You know what else I can’t wait for??
I can’t wait to see pictures of your little thingy!
cruzn
November 20th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Looking forward to meeting you on the Valor on Mar 22 cruise!
November 20th, 2008 at 8:41 am
AH, Nanni told me you posted your schedule, now if you could just reverse the Destiny and Valor schedules you would make us all happy. Jan 8-31 on the Destiny, and 2/15-4/12 on the Valor. If you could be on the Valor in January that would’ve been better as Paul and his wife, Mike and I and Empress Bee & Prince Charlie will be on the Valor the week of 1/25/09. PLEASE, Please use your clout to reverse the 2 scheduled ships? I know Paul would love to meet you! See what you can do. Well, we leave tomorrow on the Splendor and will meet Bee & Charlie for the first time in person, and will see Nanni and family on Sunday. Can’t wait! Bon Voyage! Linda & Mike
November 20th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Dear John,
Glad you’re home & settling in.
That’s a good idea for the 2 Dream Blogger Cruises – let’s just say that anyone who doesn’t want to come to the NY cruise doesn’t know what they’re missing. Let’s see – skyline of Port Canaveral or skyline of NY? Hmmm? I may not be crazy about the Florida/Bahamas itinerary either, but it’s the cruise itself that counts with no flying. And with John, what could be better. Big Ed, which is easier for you – driving to Florida or NY?
Nice to know you’re finally going to be on the Valor (my favorite sports bar – if anyone’s been on the ship, they should know my reason). Is this still the exotic Western itinerary? Belize, Honduras? You can give us progress on the new facilities in Honduras.
Heidi, how are you feeling? Just enjoy this time & relax. I just found out my nephew’s wife is expecting their second about a month after you.
Later,
Hugs,
Carol
November 20th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Hi John, Stephanie, & now Big Tex,
It’s me, PennyB from New Orleans.
Tex, I was with you on the Fantasy in June and walked with you. I can see from your pics that you really are “Lesser Tex” – you look great! I’ll be on board in Feb. with the bloggers group so look forward to seeing you and Kim. I was also with Todd on the Freedom this fall and he did a great job. I used your name as an intro to him. He joined our Meet & Greet that we had. Again, looking forward to all the great events in Feb.
John, that Florida Dream trip sounds pretty good to me as I can drive from NO or even catch a cheap flight.
All for now.
PennyB from New Orleans.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:59 am
So glad you are home and getting back to some kind of normal. Take this time and get some rest, y0u are going to need it soon. When the baby comes, sleep is not something parents get a lot of.
Heidi, I hope you are feeling well and that you are enjoying your time with John now that he is finally back home.
I wish I was going to go on the Blogger cruise in February, but it is just not working out. I am so close to Galveston too this winter.
Keep smiling John, enjoy your time off.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:41 am
John 2 blogger’s cruises almost back-back is great, but you didn’t have to do that. I know that you like to keep people happy, but after you and Carnival said that BC3 was going to be out of NYC some people got MAD, They acted like spoiled little kids. You need to spend time with your family around the Holidays, Heidi and desk and the rest of your family and mates needs you for the holidays more than any Blogger. If any blogger wanted to sail with you bad enough they would book the BC3 out of NYC instead of getting mad at you for not having it coming out of Cape Canaveral. But being you, you want everyone to be happy that’s good
November 20th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Helo John and Heidi and Thingy
So glad to have the family home together,
Sounds like Heidi and Thingy are doing well, do you think she will blog soon or let us see a picture of her “baby bump”?
Jet Lag can be a bugger!
Top Gun is a great Mans flick, I wasn’t keen on it at first but us chicks like it too!
Great Blog from Tex.Hes just a “baby” at 31…..
I love your take on the I-Man John, that really might be a possibility one day, don’t count it out I hope you get the royalities on that one!
Congratulations on your new title of BA-”Brand Ambassador, can Her Majesty Queen give you a medal with that one? Souds good doesn’t it?
Now John you have given us a real dilemma here, I was really stoked up for the Dream from New York in 2009 and then you announced the Dream from Fla here in my Back Yard. Decisions Decisions, Decisions what to do , what to do. My boss won’t let me have THAT much time off for both.. Bugger ALL!Hmmm
Take Care
The Tuckers
Arnold & Elizabeth
November 20th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Hello John, Heidi, Thingy, and Fellow Bloggers,
I understand the panic some of you felt when you thought the Ft. Lauderdale Blogger’s Cruise was changed to NYC. Really I do. But I feel I must mention that Nov. 15th is not winter. Even 9 days late is not winter. Winter comes with the solstice on Dec. 21st. I live about 30 miles NE of the city, and we get the same weather. I started wearing my winter coat this week, when the weather got into the 30’s. It doesn’t usually start to snow until the end of Dec. at the earliest. The really cold weather doesn’t usually kick in until February. Really.
I’m really looking forward to the Feb. 09 Blogger’s Cruise. Could we have some more information on that one? Please. John, please reply. This is the third time of asking. Thank you.
By the way, John. You get a little weird when you get jet lag. Sounds like sleep deprivation to me. All I do is get hungry all the time for about 3 days. As for the under 6 rule you suggested, I agree with the poster who said not all parents don’t control their kids. Some children are well-behaved. Some parents try to find out why the baby is crying, and comfort him/her. Too bad some parents are “numb.”
See you in Feb,
Cheryl D.
November 20th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
John,
How nice of you to consider 2 bloggers cruises. I hope people didn’t really get that mad over a cruise. I didn’t think that we would be able to go on the one out of New York but maybe we could get to Port Canaveral.
We just got back from the Carnival Conquest with Ralph. We had a great time. Ralph was very funny.
Kathy G
November 20th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Dear John: Thank you so much for responding to us “cry babies” and putting on the extra bloggers cruise from Florida. I swore after the flight back from London to Miami, after the Splendor baltic cruise, that I would never get in a plane again. This cruise will be perfect for us, only a 3 hour drive to Port Canaveral. I am excited already and eagerly awaiting Stephie’s further details.
Best to Heidi and the Thingy, take care and enjoy your little vacation.
Mary Lou
November 20th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
John-
I have been reading this blog forever, just have chosen not to leave any messages, until now, i saw that the bloggers cruise was out of new york, which is exciting to me since i can drive to new york and save out of air fare, but i love cruising out of florida, so now to choose, this will be exciting as i think i may have to do it. I have never gotten the chance to sail with you ( i have only been on 2 cruises so not suprising) but you have given me the best news with your tentative schedule as i’ll be on the valor 2/22 sailing. i have been looking forward to the ship as i have a great room and will be celebrating my 25th birthday, but a few days ago you mentioned you would post what ships you would be on and i have been impatiently waiting. now i just have to wait 3 more months! enjoy your time with Heidi and the thingy and congrats and best wishes
November 20th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hi John
just wanted to say welcome home. Funny to think you are not so far away. Hope you, Heidi and the family get to spend some memorable days together. Really sad can’t do any of the blogger cruises my youngest will be doing important school exams late 09/ early 10, and he needs all the help he can get (me), the best advise i can give you both is get the Thingy reading as soon as its born!! it will help such a lot, my david is brilliant at computer (shoot/fight and so on) but to read an exmination question takes nearly the whole test time. Its goimg to be a stressful year.
Anyway enjoy your time together, will look out for you in the broadway, if you hear a scream run/walk.
take care
Michellex
November 20th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Good Afternoon John,
Glad you got home safe and sound. I can’t imagine being confined on a plane for 9 hours!! I’m ready to open the door and jump after 3. If we ever do a European cruise I think I will need to be sedated.
So happy that Carnival decided to do the BC4 in Dec! We’re booked on that cruise. A cruise out of NY would be nice in the summer but a cruise to Nowhere out of NY in Nov, pass thank you very much. You really need to come visit BIG Ed and I in Michigan in November be sure to bring your “Woolies”. It’s cold (BRRRRRR) here that time of year and NY is not much different. So it looks like we will see you on the Dec cruise! Give me warm weather, sunshine and a “foo foo” drink.
John, you have to understand that Heidi is “working” very hard too. She is (with a little help from you) working to create a new bundle of joy and when Heidi delivers this miracle, they don’t call it labor for nothing :O
Take care,
Joan
November 20th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Peanuts – Joan, FYI, the BC3 cruise is an 8-day, not 2-day cruise, to Pt. Canaveral & the Bahamas. Admittedly not the best itinerary, but it’s not a cruise to nowhere. OK, it’s a little nippy here this week, but the normal temp. for this time of year is around 50 degrees. Hopefully it will be like that next year. It would be nice to meet you on that one.
Take care, Carol
November 21st, 2008 at 12:15 am
John you just made my day, my week, my month!!! I was catching up on your blog and have been waiting to hear what your schedule was going to be and was thrilled to hear that you will be on the Valor in March. My sisters and I do a yearly cruise together on Carnival and last year onboard the Freedom had the pleasure of meeting you and getting to witness first hand what everyone raves about when watching you on stage. Our cruise last year was the one when you came down with that bugger Mr. Palsy but to our amazement and utmost appreciation you never let it slow you down. We look forward to seeing you again in March on the Carnival Valor!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:16 am
Wild…
Two Blogger’s Cruises on the Dream…
Ahhhhh…. What could be better???
I mentioned at work today there’s another cruise and I’d like more days off… Hummm… I’ve already got 4 weeks at sea booked for 2009… and I do have to work to pay for them…
Will Thingy be there!!! How can I miss my niecie/nephew’s cruise??? Hummmmmm…
Great silly blog… and HOWDY Big Tex!!!
Happy Birthday!!!
Lambie
November 21st, 2008 at 8:16 pm
[...] I hate jet lag It has you doing the strangest things at 4 am. I won’t go into detail, but in the wee small hours of this [...] [...]
February 26th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Hey John,
I would just like to know if you will be on the Splendor this Oct 18th Sailing. My friend & I enjoyed you when we were on the truimph back in 1997. If you are not going to be on could you let us know who might be on as CD.
Thanks,
Shawn
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