Down the Pub

November 26, 2008 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

There are times when I think life would be a lot less complicated if I was an animal ….a deer for example, wandering the woodland waiting for someone called Billy Bob from ESPN2 to come and shoot me in the head. “Why a deer?” I hear you say ……. well ……. because then, all I would need do to establish myself, as the superior being in a group, is to stand tall and wave my antlers around.

Unfortunately, men cannot do this, partly because we don’t have horns and partly because the human equivalent is the penis. And if you start waving that around in a Starbucks, it will end very badly. All men will claim they don’t jostle for the high ground in a group of other men, but this is bollocks. We all do. Some by using wit, some with the enormity of their wallet and some by demonstrating their IQ is higher than a Rastafarian monk who just smoked an entire marijuana bush………. And then you have those who think it’s all down to the size of the engine in their car.
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