There are times when I think life would be a lot less complicated if I was an animal ….a deer for example, wandering the woodland waiting for someone called Billy Bob from ESPN2 to come and shoot me in the head. “Why a deer?” I hear you say ……. well ……. because then, all I would need do to establish myself, as the superior being in a group, is to stand tall and wave my antlers around.
Unfortunately, men cannot do this, partly because we don’t have horns and partly because the human equivalent is the penis. And if you start waving that around in a Starbucks, it will end very badly. All men will claim they don’t jostle for the high ground in a group of other men, but this is bollocks. We all do. Some by using wit, some with the enormity of their wallet and some by demonstrating their IQ is higher than a Rastafarian monk who just smoked an entire marijuana bush………. And then you have those who think it’s all down to the size of the engine in their car.
I met one chap today as I waited in the Waitrose (a UK Publix-type supermarket) for Heidi to go and buy toilet paper, hemorrhoid cream and other essentials. As you may remember, I did have a Range Rover but sold it recently because FOAGAPB (Friends of Al Gore and Polar Bears) decided that I was a monster and that my car needed decorating with eggs.
Well, I had every intention of buying a Mini or a Smart Car or one of those Toyota Piranha thingies…..but Heidi is now with Thingy and she needs a big car ….. so ……I bought another one. So far I have been egg free but that maybe because its been too cold for any demonstrations in my village ………..you can’t demonstrate about global warming when its only 2 degrees outside with a light sprinkling of snow on the ground.
Anyway, there I was parked up, listening to a talk radio station discussing if it’s OK in today’ s society to say “Merry Christmas”……..don’t get me started on that one ….. when a chap parked his Porsche Cayenne Turbo next me. He looked at me as I sat in my car and I knew exactly what he was thinking. My car is bigger, more powerful and more expensive than yours.
If he had been a deer he would have been scraping his horns up and down the side of my car………I just hoped he wouldn’t get his thingy out and start swinging it around. I had the window open because, even though it was a cold and frosty day, I wanted to enjoy a Monte Cristo Number 2 — and if the man in the Porsche could have, he would have gotten out an even bigger cigar out and smoked it.
He looked at me and as he did I turned my head and nodded to him. Now, just as I did that the DJ on the radio was saying that saying “Merry Christmas” may upset certain people. This made me very angry and I think that maybe the man in the Porsche felt that the anger was directed at him and the sight of a cigar-smoking, snarling Jabba the Hutt had the man in the Porsche starring at his shoelaces until Heidi appeared with the toilet paper, hemorrhoid cream and some foodstuff.
This had been my second example of “man stuff.” A few hours before I met the man in the Porsche, I received this e-mail on my Facespacebooktube thingy page thingy.
John:
I am a Cruise Director for $£”&* $£”!&*&% and have read your blog for some time. You have given me the inspiration to write my own blog and as you seem to delight in making fun of the cruise line I have worked for since 1998 I intend to do the same to you and Carnival.
I am going to open a large blog of whoop ass and it is heading your way. Just thought that I would give you a heads up on what’s going to happen
Kind Regards
&$” *&%*
%^$£ $%^&*
Now, I have thought long and hard about if I should publish the name of the CD and the line he works for but decided not to give him or it free advertising. I wish him much success and I am sure it will be a great blog. I am sure he will have fun on his blog and I look forward to seeing the large whopping of my arse.
Seriously, good luck mate and if I can help in any way just call me and I will tell you to bugger off……..kidding……..seriously, I wish you lots of luck mate.
The Queen Elizabeth 2 is as we speak docking in her final resting place in Dubai. Peter Shanks, Carnival UK commercial director, is there and I hope he will send us one of his brilliant reports soon.
Here is the last part of Big Tex’s notes from the Carnival Fantasy. Please join me in thanking him for his dedication and hard work and for allowing us a look at what is happening onboard ……………thanks, mate, and see you in February.
11/24/08
The last week has been a lot of fun for me (but it was quite a bit of work, as well). I really enjoyed being able share my life with you, and hope that you had as much fun reading my entries as I did writing them.
I would also like to say thanks to you John for allowing me the chance to do so. Along those same lines I would also like to say how much I admire and respect you and what you do. It’s not easy coming up with something entertaining and interesting to write every day, but John, you sure make it look that way.
So, after thinking for hours about what today’s topic would be, I figured I’d actually tell you what it’s like to write one of these, for me anyway.
Monday
10:16am – Opened a new word document and put the date at the top (always a good start). Stared blankly at the screen for nine minutes.
10:25am – Wrote the first two paragraphs (something about Thanksgiving and what I’m thankful for). Realized halfway through that I didn’t like what I was writing and was going to delete both paragraphs as soon as they were finished, but still felt compelled to write them anyway.
10:30am – Repeated this process for 43 minutes, again and again and again.
11:13am – Closed the document and decided to work on it later.
11:30am – Went to the gym, while running on the treadmill went through at least 40 different topics to write about, didn’t like any of them because I didn’t see how I could make them funny.
1:00pm – Called Gary the ACD and asked him to give me a topic. He was no help, kept saying something about “where the sun don’t shine.” I can only assume he meant his home country of England (which would be difficult for me to write about since I’ve never been there).
1:12pm – Wrote the first two paragraphs, decided I liked them and they’re still there.
1:14pm – Banged my head on the desk multiple times, the thought process being that I might be able to knock something loose in there.
1:27pm – Came up with this idea.
1:28pm – Decided I didn’t like this idea.
1:29pm – Decided I liked the idea and was going to go with it.
1:30pm – Changed my mind and started writing about Thanksgiving.
1:38pm – Decide I didn’t like the Thanksgiving idea and deleted what I had written.
1:39pm – Closed the document and decided to work on it later.
2:56pm – Began writing the timeline of what it took to write this blog.
3:30pm – Stopped writing for boat drill. Took my camera with me so I could take a photo with the Captain. He refused, said that he needed to shave before we could take the picture.
4:15pm – Began writing the timeline again, although not sure if I should be doing this or the Thanksgiving thing.
4:30pm – Finished writing. Went back to get the picture with the Captain. He was doing maneuvers and was unable to shave, therefore unable to take the photo.
10:47pm – Received a call from the Captain. He would be unable to take the photo tonight. We would have to do it tomorrow night.
Tuesday
5:38pm – Finally got the photo with the Captain.
6:00pm – Downloaded the photo and placed it in the document.
6:03pm – Finished the timeline.
6:05pm – Sent the whole thing to John, Stephanie and Vance.
6:06pm – Wept openly, sucked my thumb, and realized I should have written about Thanksgiving and what I’m most thankful for…namely, this week being over.
Baby Huey and Herve Villachaize…uhhh…me and the Captain.Until February 7,
Tex
So, Heidi and I emptied our mailbox today and we were overjoyed at the gifts and cards. We received cards from Paul Pietrangelo, Carol Schoenberger, Russell and Claire Broski, Bill and Dottie Crandoria, Cliff Phalen, Ronald Bricker, Patrica Pascale, The Butchko Family, Tony and Gloria Covillo and Eddie Portman. We also received a beautiful baby hat for the thingy and shower gel for Heidi all from Cruisin Grandma and beautiful necklaces and pendants for Heidi, my Mum and Heidi’s Mum from Big Ed.
We also received a card telling us about the sudden passing of regular blogger Linda Jensen’s Mum, Betty Stouffer. Betty was a regular cruiser and I am looking at her obituary in the newspaper clipping you sent Linda………..and I, of course, remember Mum well from her many cruises. Heidi and I send our deepest sympathies to you and the family and I hope you have many wonderful memories of your time together on the ships of Carnival. We are thinking of you.
Heidi and I thank each and every one of you for all the mail, including the eight other letters I did not mention just now that were also received today. These letters of comment about past voyages have all been read by me and I will make sure that I reply to each and every one of them. Obviously, I cannot be the guest relations department, but I can make sure that the right people hear your comments and that you are all contacted ASAP.
Thanks also to Cruisemom (Sandra) who sent more Swedish Fish………….thanks so much and Heidi is munching on some as I write.
So, to recap……..lots of cards and lots of gifts for Heidi and the Thingy………but bugger all for me.
Please send:
SUGAR FREE CHOCOLATE – CARAMEL STUFF IN THE GREEN BAGS – YOU CAN’T GET THIS IN THE UK
ASTON MARTINS – YOU CAN RENT THEM AT WWW.DREAMCARHIRE.COM
HEMORRHOID CREAM
Seriously, many thanks for all the cards and gifts and you will all receive something from Heidi and I very soon
Heidi has this image of pubs as nice places to go. You sit by a roaring fire and talk to other people who will become friends and invite you round to their house for tea and cake. Me……I hate pubs. Maybe because I don’t drink and begrudge paying £3 ($5) for a diet Coke. I also hate pubs because in the UK it’s the law that you must play the hemorrhoid of sports………darts.
I loathe darts. If I do go to a pub I want to go with my mates for a bit of banter….Why would I want to spend my time in the pub, standing up, doing math? Darts is a game for people who can’t make conversation, or who are so bored by seeing the same faces night after night that they have to do something apart from talk and drink warm beer.
We’re told that Henry VIII was a keen darts player and I can understand that. He didn’t have a PlayStationXbox and needed something to take his mind off an alarming collection of sores that were multiplying in his underpants (having been married 6 times) and in between having rumpy pumpy with everyone of his serving wenches.
But now, anyone who can’t think of what to say to their friends while in a pub can spend their time texting other friends who aren’t there. Even that is better than bloody darts.
Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m not very good at it. My ability to hit the treble 20 is governed not by hand-eye coordination but by the laws of averages and probability.
Mostly, I fail to hit the board at all, or the dart bounces back and pierces my shoe. And then I’m expected to stand there, with my foot nailed to the floor, trying through a haze of pain to deduct eight from 257.
The other thing I hate about pubs is the food. Nowadays we have things called Gastro Pubs which serve plates of drizzled swan and peacock scrotum……on toast. Honestly you would be better off eating the little blue tablets in the urinals.
British pubs should sell British food. Spotted Dick, fish and chips, shepherds pie, dumplings, steak and kidney pie and ploughman’s lunch………they just don’t anymore and that is a real shame. There is a famous restraint in London called Simpson’s in the Strand. It is one of the last bastions in the UK where you can get real British food and if you are ever in London you must go there. I know George Hamilton is a big fan as are my friends Mr and Mrs. Bentley…..the Yorkshire pudding is the best….apart from my Mum’s.
Then you have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realizing that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal. Show me a man who married a girl he met in a city centre-drinking pub and I’ll show you someone who’s made to wait in the loft, playing darts, while she entertains lorry drivers in the front room.
Anyway, as I said, Heidi loves English Pubs and therefore last night we went to one.
The village of Dunmow where live has two pubs…………I won’t mention their names in case the landlord or the regulars happen upon this blog. Most North American’s country pub experiences are permanently scarred by An American Werewolf in London. There’s a pub in that film called The Slaughtered Lamb into which the heroes of the story enter, one cold dark night, only for the whole place to go totally silent while everyone turns to stare at them menacingly.
I was, therefore, slightly apprehensive about my first visit and decided to walk straight back out if anyone was cross-eyed or warned me against going into the forest at night. As it turned out, the place was totally deserted, apart from the grumpy landlord who was watching television and didn’t really “do” conversation. I introduced myself and he asked me what property I was living in to see if I really was a “local.” He was six-foot-plus and had one of those old high-necked fisherman’s sweaters on as though had come from the set of “Most Dangerous Catch.”
He then asked me what I did for a living. Now, I didn’t want him to know what I did. This may sound strange, but honestly the last thing I wanted was for him to tell everyone in the place that I worked for a cruise line and then have to sit in the pub and answer cruise questions all night even though most of the regulars were probably huge Cunard fans. I know this because most of the men were wearing blazers and pink shirts and drinking gin and tonics. So…..I told him a little white lie…..only a really small one…..but a lie nonetheless…..I told him I was a male prostitute……and he said…..”How much?” …………kidding
I told him I was a writer and I wrote a column each day for an American travel publication. Upon hearing this I listened to the landlord’s opinions on America, its new president whom he referred to as “bleeding Socialist” and how he loved Montana and Utah but hated New York.
I asked him why he hated New York expecting to hear that someone had been rude to him, etc., but he then said something which took me by surprise. He told me that he didn’t like it because it was too busy and then he clarified this by saying “I love to walk and I couldn’t get going. It was too busy and I had to take big steps and then little steps and then a few more big steps and then lots of little ones again.” This made sense.
Here was a man who owned a pub in the middle of nowhere and I can imagine him taking huge long walks through the English countryside……….but in New York……….he had to take big steps ………then lots of little ones.
So, trying to get friendly I changed the subject and mentioned the fact that I had seen our local celebrity in the Village this morning…..some of you may have seen her years ago on NBC. She was the original host of a program called The Weakest Link and her name is Ann Robinson. She brought the show to the USA and Canada I think. She has a reputation of being strict but fair on the show and I actually like her. Anyway, Heidi had seen her shopping in the High Street the other day and mentioned this to the landlord and he immediately launched into a verbal assault on the village celebrity.
“Terrible, arrogant, rude, ginger bitch, never came into the pub once, thought she was better than us, swanning around the village in her convertible Mercedes. She’s not liked round here.”
I nodded, in what I thought might be a nice, non-Mercedes driving manner and mumbled something about “disgraceful behavior” and “terrible.” I didn’t want to get on the bad side of this guy, as he could probably turn the village against me…. And be burned as a witch.
Goodnight
Your Friends
John, Heidi and The Thingy
Filed under: Destinations, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Big Tex, Carnival Fantasy, cruise
So the other CD is writing a blog? I want to see that……..poor man LOL
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nanni
PS: I will try to find the chocolates
To Big Tex… wonderful. Thank you so much for your blog entries from the Fantasy. I, and many more Cruise Critic members, are anxious to meet you on the Fantasy for the Blogger’s Cruise!!!
As for the cruise director of the Whiner of the Seas… good luck. Gathering ANY kind of audience for a blog like this is difficult at best. I sincerely hope that you’re a talented chap. Otherwise you’ll be a very lonely chap on your blog. Remember, humor… humor is what it’s all about.
To all of my Blogger friends I wish you all the most wonderful of Thanksgivings. We, as a group regardless of where we’re from, have a great deal to be thankful for.
John, thank you for twelve months of laughs, tears and fantastic memories. Please pass along my thanks to Heidi and Thingy as well.
Stephanie; thank you for your tireless effort on our behalf. No one else could have managed what you did.
Ciao
Host Mach
Hi john,heidi and thingy.
I’m so jealous of you living in Dunmow.
We used to live in Stansted Mountfitchet and loved the drive over to Dunmow and Great Dunmow.
There used to be a great pub in Arkesden called the axe & compasses which we used quite regularly.
All the very best mate.
Declan, Karen and kids.
Happy Thanksgiving to John, Heidi, Thingy, Stephanie and all the Evil Krewe and Bloggers.
BIG ED
Happy Thanksgiving John, Heidi, and the wee little one.
I was thinking today of all of the things that I have to be grateful for and I don’t think I have a sheet of paper that would hold them all. We are always so busy complaining about what we don’t have and what we wish we did have, that we forget to be thankful for what we do have.
Most of all I am thankful for a loving husband and 2 terrific children and their families.
I am thankful for friends, not just people we meet and consider friends, but real friends who would stand by you thru thick and thin and never have a negative thing to say about you.
These are the things that can not be bought or sold and are worth more than anything that money can buy.
I’m thankful we have a lovely home and no worries financially. Something a lot of people do not have these days. I’ve been on the other side of the finances when I did not know where the next meal would come from for my children. So I am very thankful for the security we have.
We are also fortunate that we have met 2 lovely people who care for their friends and go out of their way to do things for them. Namely you and Heidi. Thanks for being there for all of us bloggers and cruisers. We all love you and the wee little one.
Happy Thanksgiving
Carolyn and Don
PS and I’m thankful we are going to board the Splendor in 3 more days and see Nanni 12/1. Wooohooo Wish you both were going to be there too
Hi Stephanie
You sold the Range Rover? You gave in to the environmental Nazis? Oh John, so disappointing. I will drive my Chevy Tahoe in honor of you from now on!
I like your pub owner. Anyone who sees Obama for what he really is is OK with me. He seems like an intelligent man.
How are all these people sending you stuff? Where do we send it so it gets to you?
Jeff
Happy Thanksgiving to all
Jon, Kathy & Stacy
Hi John/Heidi:
Happy American Thanksgiving. Getting ready for the annual Cowboy game!
I love playing darts though I stink. I think its great friendly competition especially after a couple of pints.
I’m working on sending you that new car. May take me a little time though.
I look forward to reading your next travel story as well as checking out your new ”friend’s” blog.
Thanks for posting and take care.
David
John, Heidi & Thingy
And all of the Bloggers
Happy Thanksgiving.
We all need to use this holiday to truly think about what we are thankful for.
I know that some have already started and so I will just add to the list.
I am soo thankful that for the past 6 months I have been cancer free. 4 and 1/2 more years and I can say that I’m cured.
I have been totally smoke free for 130 days or 4 months, after 45 years of smoking, with the rest of my life to look forward to.
I am thankful for my three grown children and their others, who are such a help to me. The 4 grandchildren who are my greats joys.
I am most thankful for my wonderful husband Bob who has stood by me and with me for the last 40 years.
I am also thankful for all the friends on this blog thingy that you and Stephanie have created. We all grow closer every day on this thing, even if we might never meet. I hope to sail with you again in the future.
Now the fun things that I am thankful for!! Cruising!!! I only have 36 days until we cruise on the Fascination and 94 days until the Glory. I know that you will not be on those ships but you were the first CD for me on the Glory in 2003 and you can not replace the first. Anyone sailing on either of these ships drop me a line at carolannjohnston@msn.com
Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving day. Be safe and don’t eat too much.
John, as far as the man with the fancy car you could of just done the manly thing (0r Texas thing) of marking your territory by peeing on the tires while he was in the store. He would of been none the wiser and it would of done wonders for your ego.
Buy the pub owner a pint for me, we have the same opinions on certain things.
I love the stories of local life in England. Trips to the pub or to the beach. Reminds me of the 2 years I spent there as a teen in the early 70’s. My brother and I discovered the wonders of England thanks to the excelent public transportation. We spent many a Saturday traveling as far as we though we could and still return home before the last buses ran. I have many fond memories of exploring the WWII pill boxes on the beaches or the penny arcades in Great Yarmonth. I will make it back there again some day.
Finding a new blog every day (except Sundays) is one of the finer things in life I am Thank full for.
Hi Jeff:
Stephanie posted this a couple of weeks ago…
Here is John’s PO Box address in England:
PO Box 240
Southend-On-Sea
Essex
SS3 3 AF
United Kingdom
If you’d like to send packages or cards to Heidi please use this address.
Thanks!
Stephanie
John,
Please reply –
We made our reservations for the Dream on the 12-3-09 cruise hoping it was going to be the bloggers cruise and now that it has come to pass – how do we get the “bloggers code” to pass along to Carnival so we may partake in all of the bloggers festivities??
You were the CD on the Splendor for our Baltic cruise this past August and I must say you are the best!! – my husband and I have never laughed so hard in our entire life. The night you told the “bed time story” and your bloomers came down – I thought we were going to pee our pants we laughed so hard. That cruise had to be the most wonderful cruise we have been on (it was our 8th) – mainly due in part to you and Heidi. Heidi led the excursion team like a well oiled machine – we never had one problem in any port. Thank you both for bringing joy to many, many people through the years.
Looking forward to the Dream 12-3-09 only 372 days to go!!
Best wishes for a wonder Thanksgiving,
Jet and Mike
As I set here tonight reading one of you most interesting blugs yet i cant help but think of family and friends all over the US and those like you John in the UK and those of our service men and women serving so far away from thier home and family and I want to wish them all a very happy Thanksgiving and X-mas and may they all be able to come home and be with their loving family this holiday season. To you John I have a few comments to give to you as well. You are one of a kind, you have a gift in you to make millons able to smile and enjoy life. You open your heart and soul to so many and you can take a bad day and turn it into a wonderful expreience. I dont know to many people on the Earth that can do that the way you do and we all and specking for myself want to say thank you very much. and i also have one more hing to shear with you ( DONT FORGET DEC 6. ) To your lovely wife Heidi and the Desk i want to wish you good health and happynest . and to all the Bluggers Who dont know me yet i will see you all Dec 3 on the Dream and john that 3 day befor DEC 6th. From the Conways to all out there a very Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful X-Mas
Dconway
AKA
David and Diana
Hey John,
Happy Thanksgiving to you & Heidi. Heidi can eat for two this year woohoo!! Hope all is well.
Jan
John Please Respond:
To the three of you… I like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I also wanted to let both of you know that I will be sailing the Carnival Splendor next year in Oct. Any help would be nice to know John… My sailing date is 10/18/09. I had the chance to meet you around 11 years ago on the Carnival Triumph in Nov. of 1997.
First, I want to tell Big (not any more) Tex how wonderful he is looking. When we sailed with him this past January he was….ummmm…Let me just say his name fit. Now I think we are going to need to call him Li’l Dallas.
Tex, you are looking maaaaaaaaavelous daaaaarling!
John, Heidi, Desk, Stephanie, Vance and Big Tex, happy Thanksgiving. May the world find you all at peace and contentment.
Sallie
Wanna be Thong Princess of King Ed’s Evil Krewe
Thank you John for your blog and to Heidi for her support of you.
As others have said, we too have much to be thankful for. Each other, retiring early and being able to travel in our motorhome and on cruises, having sufficient funds to be able to do that, being healthy enough to do the things we want, and having friends to enjoy things with. Thanks for our Blogger friends that we have met and had a great time with. There are lots of other things to be thankful for too.
Hope everyone has a GREAT THANKSGIVING!
George & Linda
Hello John, (please reply)
I just wanted to know if you could give me a detailed idea of how to write the blog for the contest. Do we pretend we are writing as you? Do we make a list? I’m lost so if you could help me out it would be great. thanks
from, JAKE S.
John,
Big Tex sounded like this person: lol
> Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – it explains sooooo
much!
> Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it develops:
>I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I
look
>over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
>As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
>table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
>I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
>I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
can
>under the table, and notice that the can is full.
> So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
garbage
>first.
> But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox, when I
take
>out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
&g t; I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1
check
>left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house
>to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
> I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside
>so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is
getting
>warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it
cold.
> As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on
the
>counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.
> I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading
glasses
>that I’ve been searching for all morning.
> I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to
water
>the flowers.
> I set the glasses back down on the counter, f ill a container with
water
>and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen
table.
> I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking
for the
>remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I
decide to
>put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the
flowers.
> I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on
the
>floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels
and
>wipe up the spill.
> Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning
to do.
>
> At the end of the day:
>—-the car isn’t washed,
>—-the bills aren’t paid,
>—-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
> —-the flowers don’t have enough water,
> —-there is still only 1 check in my check b ook,
> —-I can’t find the remote,
> —-I can’t find my glasses,
> —-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
>
> Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m
really
>baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.
> I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help
for
>it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.
>
> Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
>because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent.
>
>Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!
>
>GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
>
>LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
>
>P.S. I just remembered.
>
>I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!
Have fun reading this?
Amor
Since you do not celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK John, I hope you and Heidi have a wonderful day and we in the US that do; will raise a glass to the both of you that you have a healthy and happy baby.
I loved going to London before our cruise in September and going into a Pub. I wanted to do all things London. What I found was a McDonald’s on every block, how can that be I said, we are in London. But alas there they were and they were packed. I refused to go into them, we went into the Pubs and had a glorious time. I have no idea if they were unique, but it sure was fun. The food on the most part was rather bland, but it was fun trying new things.
Keep smiling John, my best to Heidi and the baby.
Heidi & John
While I know the UK doesn’t celebrate our Thanksgiving, it is a good time for everyone to giving thanks for our friends, old and new, family, and for all of God’s blessings.
Wishing you both & the Thingy a Happy Thanksgiving . God bless you all.
Charlotte
John Imitation is the Highest Form of flattery, tell the CD from the other line, It took him long enough, even though he been reading your blog for”Some Time” Obviously he/or she can’t come up with something orignal on their own so they go to the BEST !!! Hey CD from Other line, here is a suggestion for naming your next ship “Hemorrhoid of the SEAS”, 1 last suggestion, you better have a ship lenght retractable roof, if it rains all your passengers will drown.
John you got me with Montecristo no 2, I will enjoy a no 4 after the Turkey today. Happy Thanksgviving to All
Take care of Hedi and Thingy..
Happy Thanksgiving to all that blog with John and his fellow crew, family and friends. To all we have made friends with. a special thanks to our soldiers who have kept our world protected and served. Those who are serving now. Their familys……Blessings and gratitude,
Kathie (Kap)
Will you be on the Carnival Dream’s Mediterranean voyages in October 2009?
John, I imagine everyone will send you the sugar free chocolate caramel candy so I thought instead I would send you the hemorrhoid cream. Is there a certain brand you want, or would the WalMart brand be okay, it’s cheaper…….. lol
Don and Carolyn…… the silly one in the crowd…….
Dear John & Heidi,
I was reading where English pubs are nothing like they used to be. In fact, they are closing in record number. Pity.
I still have images of Inspector Morse having a pint…
Now, as far as the cruise director from the “Coma of the Seas” is concerned, all he has to do of course, is sit down at his computer and begin keeping a regular diary of all of the goings-on aboard the ship. It’s a snap, really.
Wait. I forgot something. Wit. Yeah, he’ll need a computer and wit, that’s it. No. Wait a minute. He’ll need humor. Yeah, A computer, wit and humor. All set.
No, I forgot intelligence. OK, a computer, wit, humor and intelligence. Ready! Wait a minute, he’ll need humility too. Right. A computer, wit, humor, intelligence and humility. Now he’s ready to go.
Uh-oh. Forgot compassion. You know, he should probably just quit now. He doesn’t stand a chance.
Wishing you both well!
Your friends,
Lance & Ilda.
John, Heidi, & Thingy,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
John, no one will read this other guys blog. Especially if he says one bad word about you or Carnival. We love you!
Mike & Lori
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! John, Heidi, and the thingy
Dear John & Heidi,
PLEASE REPLY
Sorry we haven’t corresponded for a while, we have both been flat out like lizards drinking and have not been able to keep up with the blog. However just noticed you mentioned cards and gifts which means you must have published your po box and we have somehow missed it, could you please let us have it asap? Glad to hear you are enjoying your break and that Heidi is well even if somewhat tired. Please stop looking at Lisbeths bottom or you may end up in the dog house “again”. We hear a Holland America ship is heading down this way next year or 2010, anything happening with Carnival?
Regards
Suzanne & Lisa
(Dowunder)
Thanksgiving is over and I’m just catching up on this blog. Big Tex did a wonderful job and I enjoyed his contributions as much as Jaime’s! John, even if you don’t recognize Thanksgiving as anything but the day the silly escapees sat with the true original settlers… it’s a nice day to reflect on blessings.
Heidi and Desk being your greatest blessing! And the continued good health of Alan, all your parents, and the rest of your family.