Good afternoon
Before we start today please join me in wishing Stephanie well. She will be going into the hospital for surgery tomorrow and we will all be thinking of her. Tom and Tony will continue to post comments and the blogs and although they are not as pretty as Stephanie, they will do well……actually Tom is quite good looking in a boyband sort of way.
Now I am going to admit something to you now which Heidi thinks I should not write about in case you all bugger off to another blog and never come back ……but I have decided to come clean and tell you all a secret I have been keeping from you……I like wearing women’s underwear …. kidding …………………..well…………only on Saturday’s…………….no, seriously……….I have to admit to you today …….I have a criminal record………….well………I nearly have one……let me explain.
As some of you may remember I left the Carnival Splendor with Heidi in October and had three nights at home before I headed to the States for my month of marketing thingies. Well, it was during these three days that my dastardly crime was committed. I have never been in trouble with the law before, unless you count the time Alan had has both arrested on holiday in Spain for peeing in a shop doorway.
My crime was committed in Southend on Sea as we went to visit my parents. A speed camera caught me on the Eastern Esplanade.
It clocked me at 39 miles an hour in a 30-mile zone. The UK has more speed cameras than anywhere else in Europe, there are hundreds of them and our idiot of a prime minister should have been able to beat the credit crunch with the revenue created from these cameras …..In 2007, £11.6 million was paid in fines captured by these bastard cameras.
OK, speed kills………well, actually, not stopping kills…..and I understand that people who drive to fast should be punished. However, they place the cameras behind trees and in areas that do not have speed control problems and are not accident black spots and the cameras are clearly placed there with one thing in mind…..to make money. Put them where they are needed…..in areas that are prone to accidents …… in school districts ….there are rumors that the government are going to put them on our driveways at home.
Now, I can’t divulge my feelings about American politics because I am not American and that’s not what this blog thingy is about. But being British I feel I have to right to say that Mr. Brown has the brain capacity of the lesser spotted Mongolian bog pig. His ideas have turned the UK into a country with more debt that Michael Jackson and Botswana combined.
Anyway, I digress……….”What a shocker,” I hear you cry……………..so back to the story.
The inevitable notice of prosecution and “hand over the money” demand landed on my doormat a couple of days later. He fine was £80 ($120) and three points on my license. The point system means that if you have 12 points on your driving licence, i.e. three speeding fines or other road offenses, and your licence is suspended for a year … and if that Scottish prat Gordon Brown has his way, you will also have a spike put up your bottom and be locked in the Tower of London.
Again…….I know we must obey the rules but when cameras are placed just to make money………….well, you can see why so many people creep out in the middle of the night and set fire to these cameras………I would never do that………..pour concrete over them maybe………….but fire can be dangerous.
So, there it was………..Three points and a fine – what a hassle, but wait, what was this? There was an alternative on offer.
If I agreed to attend a “Speed Awareness Scheme,” then I would not get three points or a fine. I’d still have to pay £15 for the course but I just had to turn up and listen “with a positive attitude” for four hours. I signed up and, today I set off for my “reprogramming” ……….I am Borg.
The session was in an anonymous industrial estate deep in the heart of Essex. It was like going back to school. We “offenders” parked up our lethal weapons and trudged towards the entrance like recalcitrant truants. There was a real random assortment of people – all classes and ages that would never normally be in a room together. Heidi has warned me not to be “smart ” and be the grey man……”Sit at the back and say nothing,” she said.
I had all intentions of doing just that but those intentions were tested right at the start when the instructor “Peter Edwards” walked in…..he had a beard…….of course he did …..and for some strange reason he was wearing one of those high visibility yellow jackets. Why would he wear one of these in the classroom?…….Was he concerned one of us wouldn’t see him in the brightly lit classroom? I resisted the urge to laugh and we got on with the class.
We were all very defensive, some sitting sulkily and others trying to appear relaxed. We were in the blandest of bland “classrooms” adorned with “speed kills” posters and posters advising us to take public transport in the form of buses and trains.
I was guessing we were going to be shown lots of photographs of dead children and mangled cars in an attempt to shock us into line. I was not unaware of the dangers that cars can pose, but this was hardly the traffic chaos that can be found in Beijing or Rome. This was Southend on Sea, for God’s sake.
We weren’t shown any horrid photos – in fact, it was a bit like one of those uber-dull Powerpoint presentations.
We had to guess where most collisions take place (in urban areas) and where most fatalities occur (rural roads). Motorways (freeways) it turns out are the safest of places to drive, with no head-on traffic (except when the occasional driver decides to go the wrong way) and little distraction, apart from the odd junction.
We were in the borderline offenders group (34-40mph in a 30-mile zone). Everyone felt it was ridiculous that we’d been done for such a trivial offense. This was the only issue that the day dealt with convincingly.
Eighty percent of people hit by a car doing 30 miles an hour survive. Fifty per cent survive being hit at 35 miles an hour, while only 10 per cent survive at 40 miles an hour.
There was also a very persuasive argument that going even two miles an hour faster has a far greater knock-on effect on braking distances than I would have thought.
Then, there was bit of propaganda on behalf of Essex Police and its defense of speed cameras. A large portion of the money raised from speeding fines is “ring-fenced” for road safety projects. I asked our teacher what the percentage was. This was not public knowledge, but he said that the treasury and the police, who get the rest, assured him it was a “significant” amount … yeah, right.
By now the end was in sight and everyone was relaxing.
“What’s a sign that there’s fog about?” asked teacher.
“We can’t see anything?” I suggested……………….”Class dismissed,” said Peter
I’m not sure how much good the session did us – I will watch my speed…………I have to ….. and as I drove home. I was thinking about everything Peter the Beard had taught me but then nearly hit a chap on a bike while doing so.
I think I need a chauffeur – anyone interested, apply here
A thank you once more for all the extraordinary comments, criticisms and suggestions that have come to the blog thingy. Your participation gladdens my heart inexpressibly. We are working on the look and feel of the blog pages all the time thanks to the brilliant work of Stephanie, Jordan, Tom, Tony, Walter and the team they make it possible that all the 3.4 million readers who have wiped their feet on its doorstep in the past 18 months have a great site to visit. Many thanks to all of you: you are very, very welcome and I will be answering comments tomorrow. Thanks also for the day off today and you will be glad to know the Imodium has worked its magic.
Many of you have been asking for information about our blogger’s cruises, so here is Stephanie with some information.
Hi Everyone,
On Saturday, 12/6 at Noon (12 pm) EST we will be posting a registration form for the New Orleans charity event. Please note that due to volunteer organization requirements we will be restricted to 100 volunteers. The registration form will also ask if you will be needing transportation to the charity event. We look forward to seeing you in a few months (2 1/2 to be exact!)
Now, for the Nov. 15 and Dec. 3 blogger’s cruise sailings, please note that they both have the same farecode: PBL. This farecode is required to receive the special give-a-ways and ensures you are invitied to all the special onboard activties.
If anyone has any questions just submit a comment and mark it with “please reply”.
Thanks and have a great day!
Stephanie
Many years ago, when answer phones first became commonplace, my Mum was supposed to make a duty visit to some friends.
She dialed his number, and when she heard his recorded greeting she grinned with relief before rearranging her features so that they would convey suitable disappointment for the message she was about to leave: “I’m so sorry you’re not there,” she lied, “We were hoping to pop in for a cup of tea. Never mind, we’ll have to make it another time.” Then, with the active handset still in her hand, she said, “He’s not there, thank God. We’ve got the afternoon to ourselves.” These charming words were, of course, preserved on the machine.
The mixed blessing of the answer phone has been on my mind since I recently changed to my new Nokia Crap600. It hasn’t been an unbridled success. The new phone has terrific coverage everywhere except within a five-mile radius of my home. Ring me there, and I have to go outside, stand in the road and swirl the handset around like a Bon Jovi fan waving a Zippo lighter, in the hope of catching a signal.
So uncertain have I been of the future of our working relationship that I have only given the new number to people on a need-to-know basis. But I didn’t really think about what would happen when people dialled the old one. I suppose, much as a toddler thinks they’re invisible if they cover their eyes, I imagined that by putting it in a drawer, everyone would know not to ring it.
So I shouldn’t have been surprised when my bank last week complained that they couldn’t get hold of me. My old phone, it transpired, was still diligently taking messages for me, in the vain hope that I might remember the good times and give the old faithful another go. When I switched it on for the first time in months, it vomited forth a narrative of frustration from companies, delivery men and friends, all unable to fathom why I wouldn’t return their calls. All that was lacking was the missed call of one’s dreams.
In an ideal world, everyone should have a defunct phone, to help them explain life’s niggling disappointments: I’m not in Hollywood, because I missed the call from Spielberg. It’s not due to lack of talent or ambition, it’s because I never worked out how to transfer voice messages.
That’s why I’ve never had dinner with Brad and Angelina and why I missed out on rumpy pumpy with Jessica Simpson and why no one’s yet asked me to turn the blog thingy into a comedy hit. Then, of course, there is the wrong number syndrome which, coupled with the answering machine, is a recipe for disaster……look at what happened to my mate Danny’s wife Nadia.
She received along, tearful message that sounded as though it came from a teenage girl. The caller had decided to admit to her best friend she was gay, and hoped for more than just friendship. It had clearly taken a huge amount of courage – and probably alcohol – to steel herself to call. And she’d left it on the wrong phone. Did she ever confront the friend for not responding? Are they together now, or doomed to a lifetime apart …. simply because she called the wrong number.
Talking of cell phones, I guess it had to happen. I have been talking to some of my fellow cruise directors who have told me that they have now added something to their pre show announcements……..please turn off your cell phones and two-way radios ………………… who would have thought that this would ever happen?
It’s great that Carnival ships now have cell phone coverage whether you are at sea or in port and most people don’t carry them the entire time they are on the ship. But some do. I have been in a situation where I have been in the middle of a show when that cell phone rings. I remember once when it happened that I actually asked the chap whose phone it was to me on stage and I had a full on conversation with his business partner back in the States.
Communication onboard has never been better with not only cell phone coverage but wireless Internet thingy ship wide and of course Internet cafe’s for staying in touch with your e-mail and favorite blog. It may be a little expensive now, but as months pass I am sure improvements will be made and prices will come down and that goes for the direct dialing phone calls available from every cabin. Gone are the days when guests and crew used to have to wait until reaching port where lines would form at the pay phones and calling centers as people tried to contact their family and friends.
Actually….and please don’t tell anyone this……..I miss those days. When the ship reached port, the captain and senior officers had to go to our port agent’s office and once a cruise we would check in with the office in Miami. Most of the time though any decisions were made onboard and, because of the lack of onboard communication, we usually asked for forgiveness rather than permission. Yes, we had the radio rooms where for $3 billion dollars a minute you called the high seas operator who would connect you……..but the line was always full of hiss and static.
Nowadays the office can call you directly into the cabin, e-mail you and now we have shipboard cellular phones which Mr. Boss can also call you at. I even have a phone in my cabin bathroom which means I can talk to Carnival executives while doing my number two’s. Yep, communication has never been better and as much as it can be annoying that the office can call me even during the most intimate of times…..it’s great that I can call them and, of course, Heidi and the family whenever I want.
There is one form of communication that really gets on my nerves ……those Motorola two-way radios that everyone buys from Brookstones and have a radius of about 50 feet. They do however make the most annoying “weebeee” sound when people try and contact you and that sound has echoed around our show rooms during the last few years. One time, a guest had one and it was doing its “weebee” noise throughout my Marriage Show. So, I asked him who he was on the radio with……..he said his wife……now I thought that his wife was by the pool or in the cabin……nope…….she was in the balcony watching the show.
So……they were both watching the show and talking to each other while it was going on. Well, obviously they became the center of my attention much to the enjoyment of the 800-plus watching. I then had an idea…….I asked the lady to bring her radio to the stage. She did and while she was doing so I grabbed the husband’s radio, some gaffer tape from backstage and enlisted the help of Stephanie, the assistant CD.
I waited for Stephanie to carry out her instructions and then explained to the bemused audience that Stephanie had taped the radio under the lid of the toilet seat in the ladies bathroom just outside the theater and that she had placed an out of order sign on two of the three stalls. I then carried on with the show watching all the time for a lady who had not been at the show to go in. I didn’t have to wait very long as from the lobby walked a guest into the bathroom.
Waiting a few moments for the lady to get comfortable I got on the other radio and remembering that a lady is sitting on the toilet with a walkie talkie taped underneath her I said……”Hey lady….do you mind……..we’re painting down here?”
Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi
Filed under: Destinations, Europe, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Bloggers Cruise, Carnival Splendor, phone, traffic school
Stephanie –
My best to you! Hope it goes well and you have a speedy recovery.
Melissa
I bet that lady didn’t need a laxative after that! Too funny!
Hey John, those video cameras in the UK sound like Big Brother to me. I can’t believe there aren’t enough angry people there to keep destroying them. Going 9 miles an hour over the speed limit is hardly a crime. That’s called driving reasonably, since speed limits are always set offensively low to enable tax collection. I was angry just reading about it. Insane. and with Obama coming in, I’ll bet the same thing happens here over the next four years. Fight the power!
Jeff
Dear Stephanie,
Here is wishing you a very speedy recovery!!
John – I have been known to have a racing foot when it come to cars – I have since slowed down – don’t know if it is my age or the fact that I would rather buy a designer handbag instead of paying for a speeding ticket
I’m glad you and Heidi are doing well, have a wonderful Holiday Season together.
stephanie we are sending good thoughts and prayers your way honey… hope you are back soon!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
We have red light cameras… everywhere. Much like speeding we all understand that it’s hazardous to go zipping through red lights but it occasionally happens. Here a portion of each fine goes to the manufacturer of the system. Yep… the vendor gets a cut, in fact, they even issue the citations for the municipality. Fancy that…
Here’s hoping that in the near future the speed of the internet connection on board will improve. It’s fiendishly slow but as it’s the only game in town you either play or ignore the folks at home… sometimes an excellent idea.
I LOVE the thingy with the walkie talkie!! I’m betting that the woman in question nearly died!! I wish I could have been there. Excellent!
Please pass along my best wishes to the wonderful Stephanie. I’ll be praying for a full and speedy recovery for her as I’m sure will most of our Blogging family.
Ciao for now!!!
Host Mach
Stephanie, good luck on the surgery and my best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery.
John you should go to jail for such an offense
bugger they are nuts.
Steph best to you with your surgery.
Papanh
Great story John! I remember that I was once in a giant hall attending a company meeting. There were at least 1200 people in the audience and each of the speakers wore wireless microphones. At the end of one of the presentations the speaker immediately headed out of the hall but, forgot to turn off his mic! The next thing we heard over the speaker system of the hall was a lot of ahhs, and water splashing! That was followed by a large gas release and a flush! You can only imagine how quiet the hall got as this got started. This was by the way one of the VP’s that was just about as straight arrow as they come! The meeting was adjourned for a break because the laughter would not stop! Just thought I would share!
Please Reply—I don’t know if Susan and I missed it but we are wondering what shore activities we should sign up for on the bloggers cruise in Feb. Can’t wait to see you again! Please give Heidi and thingy our best!
John and Susan from Frisco, Tx.
Stephanie….Good luck with your surgery! Our prayers are with you!
John & Susan from Frisco, Tx.
Hey John,
You are just too funny! Hope to be on a cruise with you someday. Best to Stephanie.
Jan
Stephanie – Hope all is well and wish you a speedy recovery!
John – that was a wonderful true confession speeding story. I have heard a new twist here in the US. The state gets most of the money from red light cameras and not the city they are located. I thought those cameras were to improve safety and create a better driving environment; but the cameras are such a deterrent that some cities are removing them as their revenue is falling and their officers are not writing as many tickets.
I think I lost it as I read about your use of the walkie talkie. You are The Man!
Dear John the eyes of evil are everywhere.They intrude into our inter sanctum. We have no privacy.Oh well thats life.Here’s hoping for a speedy and safe recovery for Stephanie and best wishes to Heidi and the Thingy.Gary and Bug
Hey Stephanie:
This gall bladder thingy must be going around. My appointment is Wednesday. Hope your surgery goes well. Take some good notes so you can let me know what I am in for! LOL
My problem currently is trying to figure out how to schedule the actual surgery around all our cruises.
I did really well on the Splendor and Freedom. I ate low fat meals and drank lots of water. I did not have a problem. I am hoping to have it out next week, so that I can be all ready to go on January 1st for our B2B on the Fantasy!!
John:
David has gotten into a good habit of simply setting the cruise control on whatever the speed is on a particular road. Then he does not have to worry about it!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ….home from our cruises and proud of his Milestone Rewards Insignia)
We flew into London 3 days early for the Splendor’s inaugral cruise to the Baltics. We rented a car and drove to Stratford Upon Avon. We also rented a Garmin GPS to assist in the directions.
Guess What!!!! The Garmin notified me before each speed camera. It flashed a red notice and beeped. Saved my bacon many times over 2 days.
I guess other GPS toys may also have the info. It is a money saver.
Stephanie get well soon.
It seems that in Britain that if you drive, you are treated like a child. I can see if you had over 15 miles an hour and more you should caught. But 8 or 9 miles over. Are they kidding and $120 fine with 3 points. Give me break. Your story of the cell phone was funny. I sure that lady must have jumped up a mile and very quickly. Ciao my fast friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Hi John/Heidi:
First, good luck to Stephanie. Hope everything goes well.
So you had the joy of drivers ed? You lucky chap. Its amazing all the different types of drivers schools they offer now (comedy club, food, sports, etc). What happened to focusing on the driving?
That’s a hilarious story about the cell phone below the toilet. Lord only knows what happened to the lady when she heard that.
Glad you are feeling better.
Talke care!
David
Dear Stephanie,
Here is wishing you a very speedy recovery!! My daughter had hers removed and felt great in one week. I will keep you in my prayers. I’m sure that Tom and Tony will be able to take care of the blog thingie, just not as good as you do. Your the woman!!
31 days and 89 days. Woo hoo
Good luck Steph. By the way, do you know the difference between major surgery and minor surgery? It’s minor when it’s someone else’s.
I’ll be praying for a speedy recovery for you.
Shirley
John, please tell me you at least smiled for the candid camera. How did you manage not to crack a joke for four hours. You must have been bitting your tongue for the whole time. I can just see you saying are we having a life boat drill to the guy in the yellow vest. To bad it was not orange then you would have for sure.
Stephanie, our prayers are with you for a SPEEDY recovery. Then you can tell John SPEEDY is good. Make sure you get the tape or the DVD of your surgery. Pat got her gallbladder surgery tape and the dialog I put to it gets us laughing when we watch it.
BIG ED
Good luck Stephanie. Speedy recovery!! We’ll miss you.
John–enjoying the blogs. Those cameras sound nasty. No doubt Canada will be getting them soon! At least you were able to go to class instead of paying the fine and getting the points. Best to you, Heidi and thingy!
Hi Stephanie, we will say a prayer for you that your surgery goes well. I just had foot surgery the day befor Thanksgiving and am doing great. You are young so you will be up and running in no time.
Daniel and Jennifer
Best wishes, Stephanie. Get better really fast!
Love the walkie talkie bit…hilarious!!!
Stephanie,
Sorry to hear about your surgery. Prayers going your way for a speedy recovery.
Charlotte
Best wishes to Stephanie.
Ahhhhhh…
From speedin’ and ticket givin’ video cams… to Blogger’s Cruisin’ upcomin’ news… to phone callin’ and walkie talkin’… THANK YOU!!! You’re blog is a JOY!!!
A pure, unadulterated… well maybe quite adulterated… BLOG!!! God Bless you!!! Long Live the Blog Thingy!!!!
And to Stephanie… God Bless you and watch over you and those who will be caring for you. Grant your recovery to be swift and perfect!!! AMEN!!
THANK YOU for the laughter!!! That talkie in the loo… WOW!!! What a trip!!! I can’t even imagine how she must have felt! I probably would have had to sue you… I’d never be able to pee again!!!
Mach… That could be exactly what you need for those long drives with passengers…
You’d never have to stop again!!! :q
I can’t believe I’m three days away from cruisin’!!! Somebody pinch me!!!
Lambie
John Please Reply
First I must say a big thank you for the lovely (and well eaten) fruit basket that I know was sent by you since I know Goose had no idea who I was (I did write him a thank you note though)–you are a very thoughtful person. I also got to meet Jaime and took her a little chocolate brownie gift as you suggested and she sent me the coveted “ship on a stick” which is now in a place of honor in my home and a wonderful note and photo of the ship.
I don’t even know what to say to begin to tell you what a great cruise this was. The crew is the finest of any ship I have ever sailed! All of us bloggers hear you speak of how good Carnival crews are and I have found good personnel on every Carnival ship but I don’t think I have been on a ship where the crew seemed to work together as a unit as well as they seemed to do on the Splendor.
We were in the Black Pearl dining room with hostess Sonja first of all connecting with my grandson Christopher age 5 and our waiter at table 157 was “Romie” knew everyone’s name by the next night when we entered the dining room–I don’t think that has ever happened before and he was so good and thoughtful with the children’s wants and needs–absolutely extraordinary experience which allowed my daughter and I to enjoy dinner and champagne or wine each night. Sonja would come by the table each night to check on us and Christopher would be so embarrassed that he would dive under the table and not come out until she was gone. It was so funny the entire table couldn’t stop laughing about it!
The photographers were great and plentiful so nobody had to wait too long and we (I) spent more on photos on this cruise than I have ever done–mainly because they took such cute pictures of the kids–my only suggestion there was that they missed a big opportunity to take photos of the kids with “Freddy” in Camp Carnival after their search to find him that day.
Our cabin steward was awesome as well and went out of his way ripping the cabin apart helping me find my cell phone–weren’t you talking about that in this blog? Bugger, couldn’t find it and he said to check lost and found at Purser’s desk and it was there! I am not used to traveling with kids and I was definately more disorganized than usual. We had used the phone to call home from St. Thomas and when I had to find one of their drink cards in my purse, it must have fallen out on the seat in the lounge.
The shows were all great but Vroom was spectacular and even Christopher was belting out Queen’s “We are the Champions” when we were walking out which everyone thought was quite funny.
All the bar staff we encountered were couteous and prompt and I’m telling you all these details because I never got to fill out the review form–they need to send them before the last night. I just didn’t have time. We were off the ship easily and probably the most organized I’ve seen in a few cruises, we found a porter right away and our luggage and were on our way to the airport 20 minutes after they called our number luggage tag–far better than Miami.
San Juan we didn’t get off–not really anything to do there with children on a Sunday night everything is closed and the weather wasn’t the best so the kids swam and I watched. St. Thomas we did our own thing and did the Catalina Island excursion in La Romana which was great–my only suggestion is that it needs to be longer–we were in port all day and the excursion was 8:15 AM and they brought us back to the ship at 12:30–it was about a 30 minute tender ride to the island so it would have been nice to have more time since it was very nice there and enjoyable. Grand Turk was packed when we got there the Ventura had been there since early morning so no lawn chairs on the beach or around the pool. Once their pax started returning to the ship it was much better and it was great fun there. The DJ at Margaritaville had everyone up dancing including the kids and the pool being shallow is a nice touch for the kids as well–overall nice experience but better with only one ship. Nassau we arranged for our own trip to Atlantis since it never showed as an excursion prior to embarkation and it worked out great–no problems.
Only issue I had for the whole cruise experience was embarkation–worst I have experienced in 17 cruises and with the kids it was horrible. We got to the pier at 11:45 AM and people were in a line around the outside of the building and into the area were the forklifts were loading luggage which was really dangerous. At 1:45 PM we had finally entered the door to the security maze inside the terminal. I can tell you that everyone with kids was thin in the patience area after the 1st hour in line with the kids cleaning up the concrete outside the terminal with their cruise clothes. At 2:20 we finally crossed the gangway to the ship. There were many that came later than we did that waited over 3 hours. In my opinion (for what its worth) that is unacceptable. It was I’m sure a full cruise over a holiday which means more than the average number of kids and elderly so you staff for that in advance. It appeared that there were plenty of people staffing the desks so I don’t exactly know what the issue was, but its a credit to the crew to make up for that kind of start!
Ok, that’s it except to tell you that after reading the blog today and catching up on a few back including Mrs. S Nob which I do remember well, I did miss being able to read the blog and have a good laugh each night. I had no spare time cruising with the kids but have to say I wouldn’t have traded it for the world–it was amazing watching them have such a good time. Paige age 5 said that she always wants to go on Carnival because its the “bestest cruise ever” (and also her first but its nice to have a satisfied grandmother don’t you think?) I would send you a link to the pictures but I don’t know how to put the photo of them in here.
Please tell Stephanie I will keep her in my prayers and wish a speedy recovery and lots of well deserved rest!
Again, thank you for making us bloggers feel so special when we cruise. I can’t wait for 1-31-09 now to get back on the Splendor for 31 days this time. I’ve written a review blog and all for one question–how do request a waiter for the next cruise? Do we do it in the dining room when we get on? I’ve never done it before but want to have Romie next time too if possible.
Ok, sorry about the driving ticket too but the cameras are everywhere here too. My partner got one in the mail and when I opened it I told him it was a great picture of his car! It happens…bugger.
Thanks again…
Cheryl Killian
Hey, Stephanie,
Hope you have a successful surgery and a speedy recovery! Take this opportunity to get some rest.
John,
I’ve done “traffic school” several times for speeding. Didn’t get caught by cameras…just the Man! We can do our traffic school on-line now. Just read some stuff, answer some questions and you’re done. I think I’ve almost used up this option, so I guess if I get another ticket I’ll have to take the points on my license. The worst of that is, it can make your car insurance increase. Must slow down….. Well, in addition to the fact too many points will get the license taken away.
Tell Heidi Hi for me, and sing a lullaby for Thingy Desk.
Your Pal, Myra
Hope you are up and about shortly Stephanie, our prayers are with you. Linda & Mike
John, please repy,
Love reading your blog and look forward to it every evening.
On my last cruise on the Liberty last Jan., I was lucky and won a stick on a ship. It is my pride and joy.
My granddaughter also loves it. Everytime she comes to visit, I notice that she takes it off the shelf in my room, and moves it into the room that she uses for a play room. I know I should be a great grandma and give her my coveted ship on a stick, but I have worked hard to get it.
We are going to be cruising on the Splendor in Jan. as a family, and I was wondering if there was anyway that I could purchase a ship on a stick and have it delivered to her room. She would be so thrilled. Let me know who I could contact about getting one delivered for her.
Love to you, Heidi and desk.
cjs
Take care Stephanie, I hope your surgery goes well and you’ll be feeling better in no time.
Julie
Stephanie,
Wishing you a speedy recovery. Rest and enjoy the time off. We will all be here waiting for you – take your time. : )
John,
I would like to apply as your chauffeur. Driving you has to be easier than the 65 or so students on the school bus I drive daily. Well, maybe not, you would have me laughing so hard I couldn’t drive safely. I would probably get a speeding ticket, too.
Also loved the walkie-talkie & the lady in the loo story. Too funny!!
All the best to Heidi and “Thingy” (& you, too John). Take care.
Little Nan
Wishing you all the best Stephanie and a speedy recovery! Take care!
John,
A while back, I asked why there is no Carnival ship sailing out of Seattle. Have you checked as promised?
Regards to Heidi and the thingy. May you all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS, ACLU lawyers included.
Amor
my best wishes to Stephanie, hope your recovery from the operation is quick & painless.
John, we are the same age & I have been driving legally since I was 17. I got my first ever speeding ticket last year, I was on my way to Southampton to join a cruise & there was a major accident on the motorway. It was worth the £60 fine & 3 points not to miss the ship as we had a fabulous cruise.
If you need a chauffeur, Im still looking for work & my rates are very reasonable
xxx to Heidi & Thingy
PLEASE RESPOND
Hi John
Got off the Splendor Saturday morning. Great cruise. Nice ship, of course.except all the pink polkadots. All the lounges and casino and bars were beatiful. Then came debarkation. They had concierge people gather on deck 3 in the Splendor lounge at 6:15. 6:30 they let us sit till we were cleared. Then at 6:45 we were cleared and we all had to get our luggage and go down to deck 0. The elevators were full with people coming down from upper floors. My husband has a walker and was hard for him to stand for to long. We finally got on an elevator and rode it up so we could go down. 8:00 we finally got off. Worse part of the cruise.
Still love Carnival. Going on the Triumph Dec 14th. 19th cruise.
Sailed with you twice and hope to again.
Jim & Joy
John,
Just returned from an 8 day cruise on the Freedom. Great trip but never again over Thanksgiving, 900 kids onboard. Todd is as good a CD as you said he was, we enjoyed him very much. Would rather had John Heald but Todd filled in well. Disappointed that past guests didn’t get any little token of appreciation like past cruises. We used to get a beach towel or hat or something in a bag left on the last night. Looking forward to next Nov 4 on the Miracle.
First off Stephanie Good luck, if there is anything I can do please ask, thats what friends are for and I like to think we are all friends here on Johns Blog…..
John, I don’t know if you can do this over in the UK but here in the states if you buy a new cell phone or change companies you can take you phone number with you. and on some phones you can have two phone numbers…. Just a thought.
I Loved the last part about the two way radios.. that was just too funny.
I also remember the days of no internet, no phone no one to bother you on vacation (that is what Vacations or for right?) I long for those days again….. also becuase I would be 15 yrs younger…..
Take care old friend, say Hi to Heidi and the baby,
keep up the good work,
Capt Bill
Hi John, good day!
I love your practical jokes! The two-way radio gag had me laughing out loud in the office, my co-workers think I’m crazy now. I found it so funny because my hubby and I have those radios too, and now I’m afraid he may try to do this trick to me. I may have to check the toilet before I use it for the rest of my life.
Stephanie,
I’m praying for your speedy recovery, take care.
Heidi,
You are blooming, getting prettier. I think Thingy is a girl.
All the best,
Risa
Best,
Risa
Good Morning John,
You naughty, naughty boy!!! speeding, I am absolutely astounded.;O You and Jack are in the same club. It seems that the “Windy City” (Chicago) has the same thing. Jack was caught twice in the same week at the same intersection by a camera. Needless he had to pay a “little” fine. You are not alone.
Cell phone are great for staying in touch but ours stay in our cabin when we cruise. It drives me crazy (short drive really) when people talk on them in dining rooms, theaters, etc. I think it’s rude and I would love to place that darling little phone, somewhere on that person, where the sun never shines! As far as the walkie-talkies, we take them when we are in a group but they are turned off at dinner and shows. If I had been that poor lady in the potty I know what I would have done. I’m sure I would have discovered what the floor above the potty looked like from the underside, not to mention having to go back to the cabin to change my dainties!!
Please let Stephanie know I will be thinking about her and praying for her to have a fast and successful recovery.
Take care and give Heidi a hug for us
Joan
Best wishes to Stephanie as she undergoes surgery. John, you did the right thing going to class. A few hours in class and you’re done!
Speeding tickets are a revenue source for the government. Cities, states, counties, and local municipalities employ officers to serve and protect however using that resource as revenue generation is not making the most effective use of manpower which is why so many areas have the new eyes in the sky to catch speeders. New technology ….it is the future…. Sure we can gripe about the relative insignificance of speeding and bemoan when we get violation fines…. However I think I would rather have officers spend their time in other more vital endeavors.
The Flying Dutchman
My very best wishes go out to Stephanie today for a pain free surgery, and a speedy recovery.
John… sounds like you’ve settled in quickly to all the regular silliness we land-lubbers encounter during our every day lives.
Living through it will help you understand how screwed up, stressed out people are when the cross the gangway. “Normal life” can truly be so strange that it keeps us wandering around shaking our heads in disbelief. And why we strive so hard to climb on a Carnival ship to escape as often as we can.
We go cruising to experience “normalcy” that too often gets run over by 39 mph Rovers during our normal lives.
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
I do have to thank all the bloggers, many who I haven’t yet met, who sent me very kind notes of condolence on the death of my father.
Very sweet acts of kindness, and it is appreciated….but still won’t be buying the drinks on the Blog2NOLA.
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
Stephanie,
Best wishes to you. Hope that you are back to top speed soon.
Bob
Stephanie – good luck with the surgery.
Suzann
Stephanie,
Get well soon!
John,
Sorry about the ticket. I never got a ticket until I moved to New Mexico. The cops seem to have too much time on their hands.
KathyG
Stephanie,
Good luck with the surgery. Get well soon and rest as much as you can.
Princess Elaine, the quiet and single of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe
Stephanie, I’m praying for a quick recovery!
John, I’ve reached the age to where I tend to slow down and smell the roses. I do remember when it was much more fun, though, to go faster! I feel your pain!
Hope the surgery went well, Stephanie!
John, I loved your radio/toilet story. It reminds me of a story I heard several years ago that involved a woman using a kleenex from her purse (in a toilet-paper emergency), not being aware that the kleenex had trading stamps (green stamps) attached. Apparently, it was the surprised ob-gyn who alerted her to them!
Vicki
Hey John,
I am new to your blog and the whole blogger’s scene so I hope this is in the right place.
I am planning a cruise for February ‘09 and was wondering if you have a list of where all the cruise directors will be durring that time. I really enjoyed “Karl with a K” on the Paradise back in May and was hoping to have him again in Feb. I had read on Cruise Critic that he is on the Imagination but wanted to verify that. If there is not a published list of which ships the Cruise Directors are on I think that would be a great idea.
Thanks for you help and keeping me entertained between sailings with your blog.
Wes
Stephanie, Hope the surgery went well and that you are getting lots of rest. We’re all thinking of you and hope you are up and about soon. Jeri and Larry
John,Please reply.
Do cell phones work ,when at sea, from one person to another or must one use the walkie talkies (with great care regarding where the walkie talkie is located!)? Jeri
Stephanie,
Best wishes to you, hope all goes well.
Suzanne & Lisa
(Downunder)
[...] Speedy Communication Good afternoon Before we start today please join me in wishing Stephanie well. She will be going into the hospital for [...] [...]
Stephanie,
I wish you all the best. Hope everything goes well.
John,
I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling well. I got really sick two nights ago with a stomach virus so I’ve been taking medicine. I feel a little better now, but everyone is getting sick around with all sorts of things…
I got a speeding ticket due to a stupid human error. I totally forgot that the students we’re back in school (It was just past Labor Day) and when school is in session, the speed limit drops to 30 and I was doing 45 which was the speed limit without school in session. I got four points on my license. I have to be extra careful because in New Jersey, I believe they suspend your license if you get six points. Cops here WILL pull people over for the smallest things.
Loved what you did at the marriage show. I would’ve loved to see the guest’s reaction to that!
Alex G.
Stephanie get well! Hope you are back to good health soon………