It’s been a strange a wonderful day. First of all………….let’s talk about the strange ………… this may be slightly
controversial…………and I truly don’t mean to upset anyone but, as always, have to speak my mind.
This morning we were in the hospital. There sitting in the waiting room were an openly gay couple (they spent the entire time kissing each other and nibbling ears and things) which was fine. I have many, many great and wonderful gay friends and although I joke with them as I do everyone and everything, it is done with care and respect.
What annoyed me this morning though was that the two young gay chaps had a one-year-old baby with them which they told us they had just adopted………..and I have to admit ……..it made my blood boil because Heidi and I had been refused as I was overweight and smoked a cigar now and then and worked abroad.
A lot of people are asking whether Christians and Muslims can co-exist in our shrinking world. But I’m more worried about the cocktail of young and old. Of course, it’s bad enough for me at 43 but what must it be like for my Mum and Dad…….. There can’t be a single thing in their lives that makes any sense at all. I guess the world is a new and different place and while I wish Harry and Henry and their newly adopted child nothing but happiness……I am still totally bewildered that they could adopt and we couldn’t.
The world is getting stranger. You think its bad now but imagine what will happen when our kids are in charge. Internet reality TV from your next-door neighbors, public inquiries every time anyone dies, satellite speed traps, thinking computers, cloned dogs. vacations on Mars. The world is their oyster. But for the rest of us it’ll be a huge incomprehensible pile of poo.
As I sat there and watched Harry and Henry play tonsil hockey with each other, I noticed that the walls of the hospital waiting room were covered with posters advising parents to teach their children ……..about sex.
I realized…….after thinking for a while……… I couldn’t remember ever having had any sex education. I could dimly remember being led into a classroom for an end-of-term lecture on sex, but the teacher was as embarrassed as the rest of the class was and preferred to talk about sex in terms of lupines. There happened to be a vase of lupines in the room and he explained in some detail how lupines got fertilised, and then added hastily that it was much the same with human beings.
This served me moderately well in the years to come as far as gardening was concerned, but as it was the last bit of direct sex education I ever got, it didn’t bode well for my future as a parent. There was a book that circulated unofficially at my next school, when we were all in our mid-teens, called Lady Chatterley’s Lover which was the most borrowed book from the library and was, therefore, how the majority of the boys at my school learned where babies came from.
And that was that. The only sex education I received before the age of 20 was from a lecture on lupines and a book about Victorian rumpy pumpy. Oh, and from dirty stories. For a while, in my teens, I played trombone in a brass band and I had never heard anything like the dirty stories which the guys told in the band room. I memorized them all, confident in the knowledge that one day I would understand them, and now I do, and so I suppose that was also part of my education.
And so the mysteries of this pregnancy thing continue to astound me. I have had to get used to Heidi wearing grandmother knickers. All women have these and are hidden away until the ink on the marriage certificate is dry. Heidi has started to wear these maternity ones that I am sure in case of an emergency could be used as a parachute. These huge pairs of underwear must have been hidden away in cupboards…..women love to do this ……..have things hidden away. Not so with men. I want all my CD’s and DVD’s on display like trophies of war. I want other men who visit my house to see that I own copies of Godfather 1 and 2 but not 3 and every season of Sopranos, West Wing and that I don’t own any Desperate Housewives or Sex and the City.
Anyway, I am rambling. So, let me remind you that on Christmas Day, the new Carnival commercials will being airing. I will let you know when exactly. I can tell you that I have been added to the cutting room floor which is of no surprise, however, I hear that it’s a brilliant new concept of selling the incomparable style of Carnival fun……I can’t wait to see it.
Remember tomorrow is the Carnival Dream blog featuring about a dozen short videos as well as my take on why this ship will be one you will not want to miss out on. So join me tomorrow for a Dream come true.
Congratulations yet again to Carnival Cruise Lines for winning yet another award. Here are the details.
CARNIVAL NAMED ‘BEST DOMESTIC CRUISE LINE’ IN TRAVEL WEEKLY’S ANNUAL READERS CHOICE AWARDS
Miami-based Carnival Cruise Lines was named “Best Domestic Cruise Line” at Travel Weekly’s annual Readers Choice awards, receiving more votes than any other cruise line in this category.
Carnival was recognized for its wide-ranging cruise offerings aboard its 22-vessel fleet which operates three- to eight-day voyages to the Caribbean, Bahamas, Mexico, Alaska, Hawaii, Canada, and New England from 18 North American departure points. That number will expand to 19 when line launches Baltimore’s first year-round cruise program aboard the Carnival Pride in April 2009.
The line’s newest and largest ship, the 130,000-ton Carnival Dream, launches year-round service from Port Canaveral, Fla., in December 2009 following a series of 12-day European voyages.
CAPTION: Carnival’s Senior Vice President of Sales and Guest Services Lynn Torrent is pictured here with the line’s “Best Domestic Cruise Line” award at Travel Weekly’s annual Readers Choice Awards.
Brilliant…………and once again we say well done to the entire Carnival team.
Heidi and the Thingy have become public property. Nine months ago I could not imagine that a stranger would smile at her, then reach out to tenderly pat her on her tummy. But now strangers do, with no obvious sense of reticence or embarrassment – instead they just ask whether we know if it is a boy or a girl and is she resting enough? …..I am used to guests doing this on the ship……to me…….thinking they are the first ever guests to ask me when it’s due.
Anyway, I have come to realize that this typifies the experience that noticeably pregnant women can expect from people they know – and people they don’t. I can’t imagine asking a stranger much less intimate questions, such as what their mortgage repayments are, or what they earn or do they know who the father is. Even the question of whether or not you had “planned” the conception seems to be socially acceptable……yep, while we were waiting for the scan this morning another couple asked if the Thingy was planned. ……as we were already in the hospital I saw no reason not to hit him over the head with a chair………but instead I just smiled and said “yes.”
This is just another aspect of Heidi being pregnant that I have had to learn to live with these past few weeks I have been home. I might be tempted to write this off as just another irritating side-effect of pregnancy. But the ease with which individuals and institutions give out advice – and cause Heidi alarm about our Thingy – doesn’t stop with patting her tummy and asking how many times a week you had rumpy pumpy before it worked. I have watched my wife react to scare stories in the press over the past month about the “risks” of pregnancy that it is difficult to imagine how women ever managed to give birth before we had all this “advice.”
Take sunshine. In one of the pregnancy magazines my wife insists on reading designed to advise pregnant women that they should not sunbathe lest they overheat the fetus. I read this and have no doubt that it is important – to women who are living in a Jacuzzi. But seriously, do pregnant women really need to be told this in an $8 magazine? Do the majority of those who are pregnant really want to melt on the Caribbean beach in a G-string …….Are people really that nuts that they need to be told not to do that?
The problem is the sheer amount of bad information about risk that pregnant women are meant to absorb happily (along with their folic acid and recommended pre-pregnancy exercise classes). Pregnancy is presented as a major feat to get “right.” Let me list some of the advice in Heidi’s magazine.
Don’t drink, don’t eat liver (who eats liver?) I would rather eat my own hair); don’t drink too much coffee/tea (caffeine), or eat too much chocolate (more caffeine); don’t eat unpasteurized cheese; don’t eat pâté; don’t change your cat-litter tray; don’t eat raw meats or sushi; don’t gain too much weight; don’t put on too little. In case that lot is not enough to worry about, you also shouldn’t get stressed, it lowers the baby’s IQ, apparently and too much stress may result in the Thingy being born with three heads or a brain that will later in life make stupid choices like getting a tattoo or cruising on RCI.
I am sure much of the above is true but from what I know the danger of most of the above is pretty small. Whereas the risk of Heidi becoming a nervous wreck at the thought of all the rules is, for me, quite large. I want to give you the perfect example about this.
Yesterday, Heidi and I went to a little cafe we both love. While I ordered my usual cheese and onion omelette and fries Heidi studied the menu. She then decided on a baked potato with a coleslaw dressing. Now the waitress, who was my Mum’s age, looked at her as though she had just ordered Peacock penis on toast……she eyed her rather suspiciously and then said “You’re pregnant aren’t you?“………..”Yes,” said Heidi…………….”Well, you shouldn’t eat coleslaw then,” and off she went to tell us all about the risk of something called listeria infection. This bacteria can cause miscarriage and premature labor. “Make that two omelettes,” said Heidi………”and neither of us will ever eat coleslaw ever again.”
But, all this is unimportant because today I got to see the Thingy live and in person. I cannot express in words how I felt…….all I know is that I am one lucky sod. It’s extraordinary to think that in a few months I will be a Dad. We sat there as the doctor showed us the Thingy’s head, spine, heart and limbs and I resisted the temptation to ask the Doc if it was normal that our Thingy looked like something Sigourney Weaver used to do battle with in the Alien movies.
After much discussion we have decided not to find out the sex of our baby. Sex has not played an important part in my life so far so why change now! ……..Seriously, we have both decided to wait………..although for some strange reason………Heidi thinks it’s a girl and I think it’s a boy. We will know in May ……………………..and so will you.
So, it has been a rewarding and for some reason an exhausting day. I am ready for the challenge ahead and I will do everything I can to make sure I am the best Dad in the world. The only thing that worries me though is that the Thingy will grow up deprived of having the experience of driving with his Dad in an Aston Martin DBS……..the poor little thing will never know what it will feels like to sit with his Father and accelerate from 0 – 60 in 4.2 seconds…………..what am I going to do?
Sorry that the blog is a bit shorter today ……….and thanks for all your kind words, see you with a Carnival Dream blog tomorrow.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Good evening John & Heidi. I’m so happy for you to have seen the Thingy. I bet your heart rose high at that moment. Yes, John, in a few months you will be officially known as dad and in all of the excitement you will suddenly realize the seriouness of being a father. That beautiful baby will need a lot of love, caring, protection and many, many things in life. You my friend will worry like you never have worried in your life but it will be worth every bit of it. As that baby grows into a beautiful person, you’ll see a little bit of both you and Heidi in them. There will be many challenges in your life regarding this new baby but learning them is part of the challenge. It sounds like to me that you and Heidi are prepared to be great parents. I’m looking forward to the tremendous day that you can inform us that you and Heidi are proud parents of a ???????? Ciao my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John:
I guess we are weird parents. Years ago, David and I both sat down with Josh and discussed “life” and “values” … what they are in our family and what we hoped they would be in his life.
The school (in 6th, 7th and 8th) had one full day of(guys in one room, ladies in another) “sex education”. The school required a permission slip from each parent for the child to attend.
So the how-to’s were covered. What Dad and I concentrated on were the “responsibilities” and “values” that the “school how-to’s” did not cover.
But more importantly David and I tried to teach by example the life lessons (from an early age) that we hoped would help form a well-balanced individual….in all areas of his life…not just sex.
I think if young people get the basics right…the “details” work themselves out.
All I can say is that Josh is 20 years old and so far…so good.
Now DJ is a completely different matter…..to him
girls are nothing but trouble and he would just rather spend his money on himself!!!
(I think we did better with DJ)
Cherish this time together….help Heidi truly enjoy this journey….and pat her tummy for us all!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
John, Thingy is going to have the best father he (or she) doesn’t need anything else. BTW I understand how you felt on the waiting room. Why wouldn’t let you adopt?? I don’t get it.
Give a big hug to Heidi
Nanni
John,
Thanks for bringing back one of the greatest days of my life. Michelle and I got married at age 38 and each had a child from our first marriage, ages 17 and 6 at the time. We wanted to have a child together, but were told the odds were not good. Evidently, I was lucky to have my son because of chemo treatment for Hodgkins Disease. Our journey was very similar to yours and Heidi’s, just without the happy stick. To make a long story short, we were blessed to find out Michelle was indeed pregnant, which brings us to the day you just had. We had one difference in seeing our baby, or thingy, on TV…there were two babies on the screen!!!
What a great feeling I know this is for you and Heidi and thanks for sharing. Take care and get used to strangers feeling Heidi’s tummy.
Mike Richardson
How did we ever get born? I mean, my mom didn’t have any eight dollar magazines to tell her what to and what not to do… I know she smoked, drank coffee and enjoyed the occasional cocktail… To the best of my knowledge none of that had an adverse effect other than the fact that I have three heads and my butt is in the front instead of the back.
All my life I’ve heard stories about women giving birth in a field as they harvested veggies and such… What happened to those people? How did we EVER manage to end up with a world populated by six billion people without all this wonderful advice… Pure luck, I tell you…
I am thrilled for you and Heidi. Having never been a parent I can’t imagine the joy that you two are sharing but I’m very glad that you are. God bless both of you.
Now, about the Dream…
Ciao!!
Host Mach
Dear John: Thank you for intervening so CCL opened up some balcony rooms for your 12/3 bloggers cruise. I’m all booked in room 6350 and very happy.
Tell Heidi not to believe or listen to all those things people said. I’m 68 now but when I had my 3 children when I was in my 20′s, we didn’t know about such things. I drank wine all the time I was pregnant and smoked like a chimney. Gained a lot of weight and never took the vitamins the doc said I should (they made me burp, still do). The kids all turned out okay, healthy and happy, and normal as far as I can see. So tell Heidi to relax and use her common sense, and before you know it, you’ll be chasing the wee one around the house.
Regards, Mary Lou
Hi John & Heidi, it seems to be the trend now, NOT to find out the babies sex till it is born. My daughter in law and son had their 3rd SON today, we wanted a girl as there are all boys in the family, but as long as the baby is healthy that is all that matters. So Brady Robert was born today, 8lbs 11 1/4 oz, 20 3/4 inches long. He is adorable. When my 4 year old grandson (the baby’s brother) and their other son who is 1 1/2 found out it was a boy the 4 year old said – “But, I wanted a girl” – oh well! Now they have “My 3 Sons”! Can’t wait till tomorrow and our DREAM come true video’s. Linda
Heidi & John -
Congratulations on making the decision to wait until nature takes its course to find out the sex of the baby.
Jon
My mother smoke and drank when she was pregnant with me. I turned out… oh… nevermind.
Jeff
I want to comment on your concerns about the gay couple being allowed to adopt and you and Heidi not allowed.
Please recognize that almost every single one of the children awaiting adoption were removed from the home of their birth because their birth parents very seriously screwed up someway, somehow. Some of these kids have been physically, emotionally and/or sexually abused – for years – by their birth parents. (Or they allowed it to happen which is worse.) It can take years for social services to build enough of a case to get a judge to agree to remove these kids from harm’s way. So to begin with they are traumatized by all that has happened to them and then being taken away from their parents! Can you imagine the tears, fear, anxiety, and horrific sense of loss to a young child? Then, they are often shuffled from one foster home to another for often no good reason. So, the social workers are trying desperately to find a stable forever home for these kids. People with high risk illnesses, or those who travel a lot (leaving the kid with just one parent a lot) are often not the best choices. Remember, these kids have already experienced way too much trauma in their young lives so even though many families experience severe illnesses and parental absense, they aren’t coming into it with a lot of emotional baggage of their own. That’s why the social workers screen adoptive applicants to carefully.
I am the first one to agree that these damaged children should have a perfect home with a mom and a dad, a dog, cat and a house with a white picket fence. That’s not reality. There are no where near enough qualified applicants willing to take these children into their homes, hearts and lives. They are not easy children to parent! They will test and try their new families in every way imaginable. Because of the horrible things these children went through at a young age they often “act out” in very inappropriate ways and some parents do not want to expose their birth kids to these adoptive children. Some require years of therapy and it can get more expensive than even a new ship! (Or so it seems!)
So, when you are concerned that the two guys were allowed to adopt and you and Heidi were not, ask yourself if you could have easily left Heidi at home with an 8 year old who wet his bed every night, had screaming nightmares, needed twice weekly therapy, and enjoyed tearing things apart as a way to express his anger as, at just 8, he didn’t know how to use words to express his feelings? Could you have left her alone? Maybe the two gay guys have jobs that allow them to telecommute. Maybe they have flexible jobs that between them allow for taking care of a child’s needs.
Then again, there is the very, very real option that this kid will live out his time being shifted from one foster home to another until he finally “ages out of the system” and is told that foster care will no longer care for or about him. They have other kids that need the bed – too bad. Where does an 18 year old high school senior foster child go? A homeless shelter? If he’s in a foster home with younger foster kids, he (or she) may not be allowed to stay as the foster parent gets a very small stipend to feed and care for these kids and now there’s no money to feed him. I am not exagerating – it happens every day.
So, when you comment on feeling upset that these two gay men were allowed to adopt and you and Heidi were not, please consider the child. Is the child better off in one foster home after another for years and years? Is the child better off being placed in a home where they will again experience the sense of abandonment they felt from their birth parents if a new adoptive parent dies unexpectedly or is away from home a lot? Is the child better off waiting – maybe for years or forever – when their are gay men and women who would make excellent parents? I didn’t hear you say in your comments that you were opposed to gay adoptions, so I won’t go too far into that argument, but please, don’t deny a child a good home just because of the sexual orientation of their adoptive parents. They may be the best available option for that child. A child will respond to a home filled with love and acceptace whether it come from a mom and a dad, or two dads or two mommies, or just one dad or one mom.
Hey John,
Like some of the other comments, I tried to think of how my parents went through a pregnancy way back in the early 1950′s & just refused to worry (or tried) so much. I am sure Heidi will do her best to do everything “right”, but 20 years from now there will be a new set of rules to follow. So, try to be healthy & enjoy this magical time. Hint: the 9th month is NOT so magical LOL.
Jan
Heidi and John,
Being a labor and delivery nurse, I must tell you, that most folks opt to find out the sex of the baby at an early ultrasound appointment. I love it when people don’t know, and I have yet to see anyone upset that they didn’t get either the “hoped for” boy or girl. The amazing moment when the body comes out brings sheer joy to all in the room! I am a softy, and still tear up at every birth. I really lose it if the dad starts to cry. It is such a touching moment and will be something you will remember every detail of for the rest of your lives. I always say that I have the best job in the hospital! Some hospitals let everyone in the hospital know that a new baby has arrived by either playing a lullaby, ringing some soft bells, or even singing happy birthday over the hospitals intercom system. It brings a smile to literally everyone’s face when you hear the sound. Let me know if I can answer any questions for either of you.
As for tomorrow, I can’t wait to see all the long awaited videos and comments from you about the Dream. Aren’t you glad you weren’t in Venice on Dec. 8th when they had the horrible flooding with the ocean rising some 5 feet? What a mess!
I want to wish you both and all our blogger family and friends the happiest of holidays and a joyous New Year. Just think, at this time next year, the thingy will be here and you will have a whole new purpose in your lives!
Sheryl
What a great day for you and Heidi–thanks for sharing. I for one share your disbelief over the state of what is perceived as being acceptable adoptive parents. Thank God you don’t have to worry about that question any more for you but there are others out there that do.
Pregnant women are vulnerable to what they read because all women (or at least the majority) want to do everything possible to give their babies the best start they can have and its true that everyone wants to share their experiences or opinions with you. Common sense is always the best way to go!
Sleep well and I can’t wait for tomorrow. Sweet Dreams…
John, it is truly a different world now. My mom smoked when pregnant (long before there were any warnings on cigarette packs). I had four children but never had the option of knowing what was coming. My sister-in-law had twins and didn’t know it until delivery. When my daughter was pregnant with her first, an ultrasound was something they did only if there was reason to expect a problem. By the time she had her second child, seven years later, it was routine for all pregnancies.
On another note, the world has turned upside down. In addition to hard times and job shortages, I heard that Las Vegas got three or four inches of SNOW yesterday.
Looking forward to more info on Carnival Dream and crossing the Atlantic with the Heald Family on it next year.
Shirley
John, Dont worry about the Aston Martin, Its truley the little things that are not expected that you will remember and share with your child…….
Seeing pictures of the Thingy is incredibly thrilling! I remember seeing the scan pictures of my daughter for the first time and having to pick my jaw up off the floor.
As for the touching of the expectant mother’s stomach, my wife HATED this. She wanted to hit people who didn’t ask first and tried to touch her stomach. Why do people insist on doing that? Why is invading someone’s personal space okay when you are pregnant, but might get you arrested at other times in your life?
Just so you know, it doesn’t get better once the thingy is born. Then people want to touch the baby, which actually might be worse than touching the mother’s tummy.
John, please respond
Ive read your blog dailyfor the past year and a half and this was the first time to respond. Like you, I did not become a father until I was 43, with greying hair, and a few well desreved bags under my eyes. I to did not wish to know what my child was going to be, but, the radioligist “had other plans, we had told her that we did not wish to know and as soon as she got the first view she blurted out your daughter appears to be developing properly! OOPS!
Now this beautiful daughter of mine, turned 5 last November and some of the questions and comments you say strangers ask have not stopped. I took her Christmas shopping with me last weekend and I was asked by some rude old bat ( she was being rude to every employee in the store like she owned the place) how old my grandaughter was and that it was nice of me to take her shopping. I was a bit snippy and told her I was her father and she cut me off and said “WOW you and your wife still have sex, thats amazing”!
I just walked away… Im sure it wont be the last time.
Heres my question. on 3/28/09 we are sailing on the Carnival Glory and I am taking my beautiful daughter on her first cruise on the “big boat” as she calls it and I, not Patty, am a little on edge!
We’ve sailed 9 times with Carnival, and have never really noticed that many childern on any of the ships, the only ones I have seemed to notice were at dinner or early in the morning at breakfast.
Do they have activities that the Moms and Dads can participate in, if they want to? And what is the tipping protocall for the child care employees?
Thank you
Kevin
Good Morning John, Heidi and “Thingy”
Take heart, people are just trying to be a tiny part of a miracle! They are well intentioned but some time they go “overboard” (no pun intended). Heidi is a smart lady and my only advice would be to smile, thank them and use her own common sense where it concerns what she should or shouldn’t do. Women have been having babies since time began and I think we do a pretty good job of it. So take heart, enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to the birth.
Take care and big hug for you, Heidi and “thingy”
Joan
Dear John You and Heidi will manage just fine.Let this misinformation go in one ear and out the other.Woman have managed to populate the world for many many years with out all of this misinformation.Just be sensible in your everyday life.The Little Thingy will be fine. Best wishes Gary and Bug
John,
Have you ever wondered why they put warnings on differnt items like shampoo?? “use externily only” Caution surface hot….. Caution the contents of the coffe cup ate HOT…..
There is a comidian Named Bill Engvall “friends” with Jeff Foxworhty you might be a redneck. who does a show call “stupid people should wear a sign that says I stupid” if you ever get a chance tro listen to some of his work you will understand why they put Those warnings on things..
Merry Christmas and happy New yeatr to you and the staff
Capt Bill
John-please reply.
My daughter and son-in-law will be on the Fantasy Jan.15. They are celebrating their 10 year anniversary. Can you give me an idea of what I can order for them to make their trip special. They never had a honeymoon because they were both in college. I will be at home with my grandchildren, but I will be on the Fantasy March 30!
Have a very Merry Christmas!!
Pam
Hello John, Heidi and Thingy,
I just wanted to add my 2 cents that I am soooooo with you on the “warnings” you get with pregnancy. It is really enough to make you quake in terror, and made worse by the horror stories people tell you… After all there are whole generations of people whose parents smoked and drank during pregnancy and their children turned out completly fine right? Well there ARE a few that did not turn out so well, they all became politicians.
The creation of a life and bringing a baby into the world, is truely a miracle and one you and Heidi are are so deserving to experience. Do not let her fret and make sure she understands people want to help and sometimes their help can be a TAD misguided.
Have the horror “birth” stories started yet? She is best to plug her ears and sing silly stongs each time someone tries, all the while remembering that mother of 6 DID get pregnant 6 times and she KNEW what was gonna happen when it was time to deliver…..You know?
You two will be amazing parents, and Thingy will be one lucky kid to have two parents who so desperately WANTED him or her! Imagine what the world would be like with more devoted and wonderful parents like you both….
Now on to our DREAM!
Nancy
When I became pregnant, husband threatened to cancel every magazine subscription I had and ban me from the bridge table (bridge table obstectrics, he would call it) because of the gloom and doom portrayed of pregnancy. As Heidi gets nearer to delivery, count on labor and delivery horror stories. After the birth of Thingee, keep the magazines hidden because there will be articles about SIDS as well as other articles on infant death. But you know what? In spite of it all, when the little bundles of joy arrive, you forget about everything you have read and heard and enjoy the pure pleasure of parenthood.
John,
You shouldn’t be surprised at the reaction of strangers, when they see Heidi’s pregnant, and want to touch her tummy, etc.
They look at you…. look at Heidi…. and naturally draw the conclusion that it had to be an immaculate conception. It has to do with your ugliness.
When Mrs. Kuki and I were pregnant, people would come up and want to rub my tummy.
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
Greetings John,
As you said yourself, you opened this can of worms, so I’m offering my two cents to “One adoptive dad.” Sir, it sounds like some toes were stepped on.
Personally, John, I still believe an adopted child of any age would have been quite well off with you, Heidi and your extended family. And anyway, as I understood it, you wanted to adopt a baby, not a child who’s already been through the foster system so OAD clarified unnecessarily. As for you being away a lot, there are many, many natural families in which the father (or mother) travels, and it has always been that way. My guess is that your weight, smoking and (perhaps) diabetes were the real reasons for being turned down…fairly or otherwise, simply because the agency fears you might not have the life expectancy to provide for a child until it is grown. As you would say, bollocks! Some of us feel there are worse things to grow up with than an overweight dad, whose “problem” can be changed, unlike some other “problems.” And I make no apologies for my beliefs, religious, social or otherwise.
You’re right, it’s a different world…and it is for every generation. We all come to an “age of awareness” at which point we begin to see things from a different angle than in our youth. But to a large extent the change that takes place with each generation is not good. There is “stuff” that has always been “out there,” but in years past it remained behind the curtains as it were. Gradually, the lid has been lifted almost completely from Pandora’s box and we’ll never get it put on again. What once was kept from public conversation, and especially from the ears of susceptible children, is now freely acknowledged and widely accepted as okay. It’s that “slippery slope” you’ve heard tale (tell?) of. Okay, I’ll hush.
I pray Heidi has a completely “uneventful” pregancy and can’t wait to learn if it’s he or she come May!
And I, too, look forward to Dreaming along with you tomorrow.
Merry Christmas, again,
Your Pal, Myra
John:
One more thing for those of us in the US who get the program
Don’t Forget the Lyrics
one of our very own will be a contestant tonight.
8pm Central
Mark (Carnival Piano Bar Entertainer)
Tune in and cheer for him!!
Linda
Hi John/Heidi:
Great to hear that the scan went well.
Glad that things are on track and we look forward to hearing what happens come May.
Hope you have a pleasant weekend and we look forward to reading about the Dream tomorrow.
Thanks!
David
John–One of the best things about pregnancy for me was that my husband HAD to clean and change the cat’s litter box! But I do agree that many of the warnings we all get, both pregnant people and not, in the media, are crazy, and things change all the time. Pretty funny–they tell us to be careful, wear sunscreen and stay out of the sun. Now they are telling us to get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily to get the proper amount of Vitamin D (I know about this well since I have a low Vit. D level and continually deal with this issue). If it’s the right decision for you, I’m glad you’re waiting to find out what Thingy is, a boy or a girl. I would have wanted to know immediately, but I had no ultrasound with my 26 year old and ONE at four months with my 22 year old, which did not show the sex—things have so changed. As long as all involved are happy and healthy!
I’m so happy for the two of you
)
Pam M
Go to Carnival.com and at the top click on “FUN SHIPS” on the drop down click on “SHOP GIFTS & SERVICES” there you will find all kinds of things you can order to be in there cabin upon embarkation. Decorations, flowers, wine, fruir baskets and many more things. You may have to use the 1-800 number if you don’t have their booking number.
Hope that helped
BIG ED
KUKI,
Oh that was good. When you get on the Bloggers Cruise go direct to your cabin, as I will, and put on your life vest. I believe John will be looking for you just like he will be me to get even with us. Warning stay away from a outside railings.
BIG ED
PS, John don’t get mad he just gets even.
Dear John and Heidi
Glad to hear that all went well with the Scan. Please do not get worried about all these “well intentioned” individuals with their two-cents worth of horror stories. Take everything in, sift it, keep the grains of sand that remain which make sense.
Pregnancy is a happy time and you should not have to second guess yourselves before doing anything and not enjoy the occasion. You are both bright individuals and will be able to know what is right or wrong in a situation and act accordingly.
Enjoy this pregnancy for what it is and through the love you possess all will go well. It is great that you want it to be a surprise and we too will be waiting with baiting breath for May to roll around and join you in the surprise.
Take care guys and relax!
Eva
Congratulations on Heidi’s pregnancy!
There are in fact many, many people in this world trying to keep gay men and women from adopting. In my mind, it’s a wonderful miracle to see a gay family, given all the homophobia and hatred out there. It’s impossible for “out” gay people to adopt from most foreign countries, and the forces of hatred in our own country keep trying to make it even harder for a gay couple to do a domestic adoption. But WHY should the young male couple in the hospital have less right than you to adopt? I can understand being angry that you were refused, but why assume that you have more right to adopt simply because you’re straight? Loving parents come in many forms.
It seems like it has been forever since I have been here. I have been getting ready to go to Texas for the winter.
Cole slaw will….., never heard of it.
I loved your blog today, getting ready for the baby. I am so happy for the both of you. To be honest, I honestly do not think you should wait to find out if it is a boy or girl. It takes about a second in a half to say, boy or girl. So, it really is not that exciting. And I can attest that Heidi will not care at that point if she had a litter of puppies, much less a baby boy or baby girl. We never knew, just had a good old guess. They have all this technical stuff now, but when I was having my four babies, nothing except some old wives tales that we either right or wrong LOL.
Keep smiling John, give my best to Heidi and the baby.
I think One Adoptive Dad needs to go back and reread the blog before commenting next time. The gay couple adopted a 1 year old baby so your entire argument is invalid. I have no problem with gay couples adopting but I can understand how John feels upset because he and Heidi were turned down.
John,
Congrats, I am glad all is well with the “thingy” and Heidi.
Remember this John, no one picked Heidi for you. Love is a wonderful thing and we all pick our significant others for our our reasons.
No one told me to marry my wife. We found one another and have 2 wonderful boys.
Your pain and hurt over not being able to adopt was real. But would that pain towards “Harry and Henry” been the same if it was “Harry and Michelle”? If not, than I think you have some deep seated issues that need to be looked at.
You do not know “Harry and Henry”, you do not know what kind of life they are providing for that child.