It’s winter which means people with beards are packing their fur lined underpants and are going skiing.
I hate skiing. I never understand why people ski down a slope to a bar and then go on a lift so they can ski down the same slope again.
That’s like walking to the pub on a Sunday, then going home and walking to the pub again… Madness. I ski to a bar and then go inside for a drink. That’s if I liked skiing at all. The only part of a skiing holiday I like very much are he crystal skies, the jagged mountains that pin-sharp air and all those pretty girls in tight spandex ski pants.
The bit I don’t like about skiing is the chance that you may die or at least break one of your legs. It would be cheaper for you to book a cruise……..during which you stay in one of the ship’s deep freezers and once a day I will come in and beat you about the legs with a baseball bat….that’s the same as going skiing but much better value for money.
Others who, like me, hate the snow are heading to warmer weather and, in many cases, are heading to Africa to see animals and their poo.
I’ve never been on a safari although it is on my “to do” list just behind swimming with sharks and burying myself in the sand with just my arse sticking out and a big sign next to me saying “park your bike here.”
Nope, like skiing safaris are not for me. Quite apart from the threat of being eaten, you have to sleep in a tent.
Now camping is fine if you are nine years old, or if you are stuck on a mountain and your fingers are falling off, but I view it in the same way that I view barbecues. What’s the point? Why eat food covered in ash when you have a cooker? Why sleep on the floor and crap in a hole if you have a house, with running water and a bed? Because you want to get close to nature? Fine. Go to a zoo. I asked some friends of mine recently why they thought this kind of vacation was so fantastic.
Regular bloggers Neville and Josephine Bentley just returned from two weeks of no TV, no raspberry service and when I met them for dinner last night…….quite honestly……they smelt a little of elephant poo.
Neville made out that camping with in deepest Africa was as far removed from boy scouting as Judge Judy is from Angelina Jolie. He told me the tents have polished wooden floors, and flushing toilets, and beds, and lots of luxury items likes plates, knives and forks and even a coffee machine. ………ok……well, I can see that maybe Neville and Josephine maybe did not have to poo in a bucket but what about the animals.
Now, the thing about animals is that they’re on television all the time. And we’re always asked to bask in the wonders of their magnificence. Or their cuteness. Or their ferocity.
The commentators, with the exception of David Attenborough, always give them character from a human standpoint. We can’t navigate by magnetic lines, and because pigeons can, we’re supposed to think that pigeons are somehow more clever than us. When plainly they’re not. Or they wouldn’t fly into windows quite so much and they would learn to crap only on vegetarians.
Dolphins, we’re told, have a huge intelligence. Wrong. Because if a dolphin really is “intelligent,” what does that make Paris Hilton? Animals can do no wrong. Princess Josephine took great pleasure in telling me that during their safari they found a half-eaten zebra, and after just five minutes poking around, trying to find something interesting about it, the guide told them that it had been killed only hours ago by lions.
Now, who needs to sit by a Carnival pool on Lido followed by dinner at the supper club and seeing a fantastic show when you can explore the innards of a zebra that has just had its day ruined by Leo and company?
See? You don’t get that kind of info on Animal Planet. They’re always too busy talking about bloody lions. Having spent an hour looking at a pride doing bugger all, I’ve decided are the single most boring creatures you’ll find anywhere except RCI cruise directors of course.
They don’t do anything………. ever. I’ve decided are the single most boring creatures you’ll find anywhere outside a bus shelter in Leicester. They don’t do anything. Ever.
As regular bloggers some of you will know, I don’t go for all the bollocks about the magnificence of the animal kingdom. To me, beasts of the field have always fallen into one of three categories: cute, delicious or useless. But now, having seen Neville and Josephine’s holiday safari videos, I’ve discovered there are other categories as well: smelly, vindictive and, most surprising of all, unbelievably funny.
I’ve never really thought about the noise a hippopotamus might make. I suppose if I’d had to come up with an answer or be shot, I’d have imagined it’d be a fierce roar, something befitting the mammal that kills more humans than any other. But it isn’t. It is, in fact, the stupidest sound on earth and as Neville, Josephine and Heidi sat watching the video giving off lots of “oohhhs and ahhhhs,” I just sat their thinking how wrong I had been about what sound a hippo makes.
It starts as though it is attempting to hawk two thousand gallons of phlegm from deep inside its lungs (a bit like a Turkish carpet dealer) and then finishes with something that sounds like the Judge Judy after smoking 200 Marlboros in one day……I could not stop laughing which, of course, put me straight into the doghouse.
Then the video turned to an animal called an impala, which is a sort of deery thing. Neville had filmed the guide who had spotted one heading toward the lions. “Oh no,” he said in a hushed whisper. “He’s going to be eaten.” “Good,” I thought. That’s exactly what I’d do to a deer if it walked right past my kitchen window. Shoot it and put it in the fridge. But no. The useless lions just sat there and let it stroll right on by. I’ve seen faster moving 90-year-old passengers with walking frames.
Finally as the video came to an end, I was treated to five minutes of film about hyenas. You hear a lot about hyenas on nature programs; that their poo is white from all the calcium in the bones they eat, that they have the strongest jaws of any animal, that they have front-wheel drive. But so far as I know, no television naturalist has ever pointed at this biblically ugly dog-cat thingy and said: “Have you ever, honestly, seen anything as ugly as that?”
Josephine told me about how one morning while she was sitting outside her tent enjoying a breakfast of Kellogg’s Hyena Flakes that a leopard walked past the camp just 50 feet away…..and she was so excited to tell me this as though it were George Clooney walking past the camp…….naked…….being chased by a giraffe…….also naked.
Ahhhhhhh yes……….that’s exactly how I want to spend my vacation……..having a battle with a huge bloody leopard. So, let’s analyze the contestants. In the jungle corner we have a big cat, more than 100 pounds of streamlined muscle, one of the fastest animals on God’s earth and one of the most efficient killers. And in the tent corner, we have a fat 44-year-old diabetic in his underpants.
Nope……I think I will stick to sailing the Seven Seas safe in the knowledge that I won’t be killed in an avalanche, eaten by lions or treading in some hippopotamus poo.
Now, have you seen the www.carnival.com/dream page? Well, if you have not please stop by and see the new renderings that now accompany Joe Farcus’s interview which can be found there. These renderings show again just how spectacular our new ship will be.
Here are some brilliant slides from a recent Carnival Dream presentation I saw for you to enjoy as well.
You know how people say “book quickly because space is limited” and you think to yourself……what a load of bollocks………well, you probably would not use the word bollocks but instead use garbage or such like…….well……in this case when I say you had better book the Carnival Dream quickly because space is limited I really do mean it……..she is proving to be brilliantly popular.
Don’t forget that on December 3 we will hold a Bloggers Cruise onboard and more details will filter through about this soon. Talking of bloggers cruises…..don’t forget that yesterday we posted information on the Cozumel exclusive tour we will be offering. In case you missed it, here’s Stephanie to post the information again….remember only 350 can go.
Hi Everyone,
Apologies but the excursion is not yet listed online. We’re working on adding it and it should be added by tomorrow. There was some confusion on the exact excursion because there are similar tours listed on carnival.com. Please note that the blogger’s cruise excursion will be labeled “JUAN’S MEXICAN FIESTA”. If you book any other Play Mia excursion you will not be part of the blogger’s cruise excursion. My apologies again that it’s not listed, but rest assured that we should have enough space for everyone. If you have any questions just submit a comment and mark it ATTN: STEPHANIE and I will do my best to respond asap.
And just as a recap our blogger’s excursion is $69 and will include food, drink, transportation, activities and a private beach area.
Thanks and see you soon!
Stephanie
Now, over at www.bestblogsatsea.com we say welcome back to James Cusick who has been on vacation. Here is a quick hello from him. “I am looking forward with great anticipation to the days ahead as we sail the globe and the opportunity for me to share special moments and funny stories with you.”
Thanks James…….yes the lucky sod is preparing for a world cruise which was supposed to start today but……..as you will read on his blog things got off to a strange start. I hope all of you will stop by his blog to see where in the world he and the ship’s passengers are and if you have time drop him a hello on his comment section and can someone also say a big hello mate from me. Enjoy a cruise around the world with James.
And now some sad news from our friends at the brilliant Eurodam Blog
“This will be our last post on Eurodam News Blog. On Monday, Jan. 5, 2009, we are launching a new Holland America Blog at http://www.hollandamericablog.com. Eurodam News Blog’s content will be rolled into the new site, which includes a blog for every ship in the fleet as well as some special features like Captain Albert Schoonderbeek’s popular blog. Until the file transfer is completed, Eurodam News Blog will be available as an online archive. The Eurodam News Blog was the first of its kind in the cruise industry — the first time a cruise line had provided a glimpse behind the scenes into the construction and operation of a new cruise ship — and was one of the very first blogs created by any cruise line. Over the past 18 months, we have learned a lot and we’ve made a lot of friends through managing the site. We hope our friends will visit us at the new Holland America Blog and continue to contribute to the creation of our online community. Our blogging team — myself, Julie and Janet — wish to express our sincere thanks to all of our contributors, Eurodam’s officers and crew, the ship aficionados and Holland America fans who visit regularly, and the many guests who have played a role in making this Web site such an interesting place to visit. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
Well, it will be sad to say goodbye to a blog that has had over one million hits and which, in my opinion, has been truly brilliant from start to finish. The good news is, of course, that we now get to read blogs from all of the HAL ships on their new website www.hollandamericablog.com ….which, if they are anything like the Eurodam blog was…….then we are in for many special treats.
Later in the week I will highlight Cunard’s blog as well as the World of Costa…..as for Princess…….ummm…….well…….it’s coming……soon….ish.
Now…….I don’t know about you but I never had that talk from my Mum and Dad about “the birds and the bees” and learned everything I know from magazines. I don’t think therefore that I could ever have this talk with our Thingy in much the same way that if I am ever at my parents house watching TV and two or more people start having rumpy pumpy……I bugger off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea red with embarrassment.
Heidi, of course, being Dutch is slightly more liberal on the subject.
“Do you believe that a stork swooped down and left you on your parent’s doorstep one morning?” she said……….adding……..”Well I’m sorry to break it to you: your parents had rumpy pumpy. And they possibly had it more than once, perhaps even for recreational purposes.”…..and I threw up………….into her new pair of Ugg Boots.
Heidi has never really understood our peculiarly prudish “No Sex, we’re British” stance. She and her fellow Hollanders just think……hey………If we didn’t have sex, we would simply have ceased to exist. We just don’t talk about it……….the Dutch do.
The Brits can moan to our heart’s content about the weather, the price of petrol, the cost of Spotted Dick – all things, when you think about it, that are far less interesting than rumpy pumpy. But broach the subject of the very reason for our being and…….our fingers are stuck firmly in our ears.
And here is all the good it has done us: we are the proud owners of a generation of young people who don’t just lead the league table of teenage pregnancy rates – they have lapped everybody else, even the French who given the chance would make rumpy pumpy an Olympic sport……….even wanting a synchronized rumpy pumpy event in the pool.
In bed last night I told Heidi that she will therefore have to be the one who talks to our Thingy about rumpy pumpy……..I just don’t think I can bring myself to do it……if only I was Dutch ……..or French…….or George Hamilton.
The last few days John Cleese has been in the car with me. I did the driving, he did the directions. “Enter the roundabout,” he’d say. “Take the third exit.” That sort of thing. And then, somewhere near home, he said this: “I have laid it on the line to you time and time again and if you don’t make a U Turn I am going to give you a damn good thrashing.”
This is of course part of the Sat Nav (GPS) novelty downloads my mate Danny got me for Christmas. You can download into the system celebrity voices including John Cleese and words can not describe how it is to have Basil Fawlty tell you to turn left in 200 yards.
Then……..there is Sat-Nag, in which the woman with the familiarly bossy, impatient voice, or someone who sounds a lot like her, addresses you in the manner of your wife in the car. “In 50 meters, you are going to shut your window, because I am freezing.” And: “I know you’re a man, but it’s been 45 minutes, why don’t you admit you’re lost?” And: “If you fart again, I am going to get out and catch the bus.”
There are about 50 instructions along these lines. My favorite is this: “In 200 metres, I am going to insist you stop the car, then I will get out, slamming the door behind me, walk away and wait for you to come and apologize….. even though you haven’t got the faintest idea what the matter is.” ………all of these instructions are as my male bloggers will confirm…………based on a true story.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Don’t forget “Why didn’t you park closer to the store? You don’t care about me anymore.” And “We’re going to be late to my mother’s candle party because of you. You can forget about THAT later!”
There are so many more.
Jeff
Hola Juan!!
How could you ever dare to think you are boring?? I could point out so many memorable lines in this blog alone. FUNNY!!! btw I agree with you 100% no ski, safari or camping for me.
We got your christmas card today . Thank you!!
Give Heidi a hug from us.
Love;
Nanni
Another GREAT blog John, as usual! I am with you, no safari’s, camping or skiing for me either! I would rather be on a cruise ship than anywhere else. Mike and I have been on 16 cruises, (of which ALL but one was on Carnival),#17 coming up in 2 weeks, and we are so excited because we will get to see you, Paul, Marylou, Bee & Charlie. Then #18 is the Dream 12/26, can’t wait. I love the Ocean Plaza with the Carnival colors of Red/White/Blue! By the way Big Ed and I both agree that the NEW Pepsi commercial is so much like a Carnival commercial, you don’t even realize it is for Pepsi till the end of the commercial! We made the mistake of taking a cruise on RCCL and their climbing wall and ice skating rink, BOO! They can keep all of that stuff! We are committed to CCL now. How about a video of Heidi before you leave, we all want to see her BUMP! I love the way you British say Rumpy Pumpy! That is so funny! In the states we don’t call it that! HA! HA! So, I guess it will be Heidi’s job to teach the little THINGY all about the birds and the bees. Hopefully it will be a little girl. John, ask Heidi what color scheme she is going with for the nursery since you don’t want to know the baby’s sex till it is born. A lot of us need to know this info. in order to shop more appropriately. Thanks! See you soon my friend, Linda & Mike
I have to admit, I do enjoy skiing. However, once I’m at the bar the downhill thing is past. There’s serious work to be done inside… as you said, ogling the women, primarily. Africa, on the other hand, holds little attraction for me. On this issue I’m in lock step with you.
The renderings of the Dream are spectacular… simply stunning. She’s going to be a HUGE draw for Carnival and I can’t wait to get on board!!
I’ll miss the Eurodam blog. She is a STUNNING vessel!! There were some wonderful blog entries there. Now, I can look forward to the Holland blog. Fair deal.
I’m patiently waiting for Juan’s Mexican Fiesta to appear!! I’ll be booking it ASAP!!
Howdies to Heidi, the Thingy and the wonderful Stephanie!!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
I can just picture you setting down with the thingy in 13 years, better make that 10 years to discuss the birds & the bee’s. Maybe you can get your mate Alan to help you. Seems both of you gained all your knowledge on the subject while together.
I think my dad may of had an Impala. It was made by Cheverlet right?
Great blog once again, I hope you don’t sit up half the night trying to think this stuff up.
John:
Thanks as always for the laughs!
PLEASE REPLY – We are sailing on the Miracle 3/29/09 (St. Martin, St. Lucia & St. Kitts). The Carnival web site will not let us pull up the shore excursions available for our trip. Can you please help me track this information down? It’s nice to be able to plan some of this in advance, as our travel party includes 5 kids ranging from age 6 to 12.
Thank you, and best to Heidi, Thingy, and the Carnival crew who keep the blog thingy going!
John I had to read this a couple times before I got.
“I’ve never been on a safari although it is on my “to do” list just behind swimming with sharks and burying myself in the sand with just my arse sticking out and a big sign next to me saying “park your bike here.”
Then I finally got the picture of how the bike was using your butt crack as a slot for the bike tire to hold the bike in place. Do you do tire inflations from the same slot for free.
After looking at those pictures of the CARNIVAL DREAM I’m so glad I’m already book for the 12/3/2009 Bloggers Cruise. Now I just wonder what My Evil Krewe will be planning for that cruise. One thing we wont let you forget what day it is with all of us there to tell you on December 5, “John don’t forget what day tomorrow is”. We wouldn’t want Heidi putting you in the doggie brig for the rest of the cruise.
BIG ED
Hi John!
Camping/safaris/mountain climbing/hiking..all that…brings back memories of camp as a child shivering in the rain praying for the madness to end. Sea life sounds better (except for rogue waves and all that stuff).
How’s the no cigar/diet going? Thinking of you on Day 3 of my no smoking quest.
Hope evrything else is well. Be careful with your GPS
David
A Safari? Ehhh, not so much. Considering that hippos have trampled or gored unfortunate souls who have strayed too near, dragged them into lakes, tipped over their boats, and bitten off their heads.
I’ll take my safari in hi-def in my living room. Thanks National Geographic and Discovery Channel!
Oh…. and Aslan is not boring
Ok Narnia may have occasionally fallen into gloom and debauchery but then again nothing is perfect …
The Flying (King of the Pride) Dutchman
The best line from an old comedy television show, Laura Petri says to husband Rob..”well if you don’t know what you did wrong I’m certainly NOT going to tell you”…
Jan
John,
Congratulations…. one of your vesy FUNNIEST visual images yet!!!! 100 lbs of muscled cat VS 44 yr old diabetic in underpants!
I soiled mine, I was laughing so hard.
Now about your friendship with Josephine and Neville Bentley (with advance apologies to the Bentleys – who no doubt are are wonderful and interesting people, and from the video descriptions, adventurous travelers).
My mind works in images, which may explain the following… How does a Neville Bentley become friendly with a John Heald?
A Neville Bentley has to be an aristocrat, no doubt with blue blood lineage leading back to a family link with the Royal Family.
It’s a strong and dignified name indicating there has to be at least a limb full of Sirs, and Dukes and Duchesses on a Neville Bentley family tree.
It has to be like an Italian named Ferrari Lamborghni. I just love the name…. Neville Bentley! Wish I had it. I may even change my name.
Though I love you, I’ll let you keep John Heald
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
Good evening John. I’m in complete agreement and a safari in Africa. I’ve always thought about camping as if getting a room in the Hilton Hotel. The sounds of wild animals, well just go to the nearest bar at abut 3:00 in the morning and you’ll hear them all, every last one of them. The Dream appears to be exactly what it is, a dream. I plan on eventually cruising on the Carnival Dream in the future. WOW!
Now this thing about telling your little thingy about the birds and the bees, you also will need to be involved especially if Thingy is a boy. How in the heck do you think that Thingy got were he/she is today. It’s really no problem. In education today most classes will introduce about things about
s
sex
x
I’m more like your wife Heidi in thinking in a more positive, questioning outlook. I found that it also led to a more open discussions with your children in anything in life. Don’t let it keep you from taking part with your Thingy’s education. If you still can do it, give him a Playboy magazine. He’ll probably ask you more questions. Good luck Heidi.
I’m very happy that you told Linda that you will meet us on the Valor the day we embark on our cruise. This time I won’t be enthusiastic because you might still be unable to be there. I”ll just cross my fingers when I arrive at the pier in Miami. Ciao. Oops, I did it again.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John:
What is a spotted dick? I have seen this mentioned in a few of your blogs. Is it something I should order when I come to London in August?
The Dream is certainly a Dream. WOW. Those pictures are wonderful.
I must agree 100% to no Safari’s or Ski’s. Give me the glorious cruise ship any day.
Regards to Heidi and the little Thingie.
Marie
I’ll pass on the skiing, safari’s and camping as well. I’m not into broken bones, being eaten by wild animals or peeing in the woods. Nope, cruising is my vacation of choice.
Great renderings too. Glad I only have 24 more days before I cruise the Splendor because waiting for the cruise on the Dream is going to seem like forever now. It is going to be a really cool ship it appears.
Hello John,
Well there’s camping and then there’s “camping”. I never camped and said my idea of camping was a Hilton. Now we have a 40′ motorhome with all the luxuries of home … and it is our home now – for 5 years and still going strong. If we want to cook outside we can – or use our convection/microwave or the cook top. We can stay outside in the cold/heat or stay inside with the furnace/AC. It’s just like home but on a smaller scale. But, we never consider that it’s camping. It’s just RV’g with a great group of friends – a lot of whom work at Disney with us.
Say Hi to Heidi for us.
George and Linda
John ,
We are at that stage of our lives and trust me the whole talk does not really need to be done . We have internet , tv and the kids of today know more than some adults.
So you will not need to have the TALK .
As for the african safari I am with you on that. I did a camping trip In Northern Ontario – The black flies and the black bears were not interesting at all . We thought it would be a great vacation and the roughing it would be character building . All we built were sore muscles , large welts and lost all our pots and pans to a tree climbing bear. Cause apparently they like toothpaste and it was in the bag tied in the tree. So the whole camping in the north was replaced with camping in a campground that has power , pool and canteen .
As for skiing , its a really not our thing either. When you live in an area that has winter from October till June it just makes no sence to spend money on a ski trip to stand in line to go up hill and slide on my ass down the hill. It looks pretty in pictures , but it is cold – some prefer to wait in long lineups in Disney land – that does not interest me either .
Cruising is the way to travel – you just lounge around, never have we had to wait in a long line up , mind you we have had to wait in the buffet line , but that was never for more than 10 minutes and it was worth the wait . I tell you we are ruined for vacations since our first cruise we just cannot justify spending money on anything else but – so we save for our next one .
We got a new GPS for Christmas for my daughter she felt we needed it as my husband has problems with listening to directions – we think he just likes talking to strangers and asking for the directions – she felt it would be the perfect gift for us and there would not be any more arguments while driving . Wrong – did you know that he does not even follow the GPS routes , has to test it . and its also got this time frame thing in it – he has to try and beat that score – so I am thinking we need to return GPS and take a bus.
As for the new Cruise ship it looks real sweet . Dream is right – we will keep dreaming for it – we never had a balcony room before but if we get a chance to go again that would be the dream .
As for you thinking your blog is boring it is not – our family loves ready the blog and it is a thing we chat about – we are hoping our kids can save some money and come with us on the next one .
Well here’s to watching the snow fall from the inside and to reading blogs about cruises.
Good Morning John,
Safari’s have never made, nor will that trip, my “to do” list. Lots of other things have but we won’t get into that. “Roughing it” is no room service. So I guess you can see where my list is headed.
Jack and I are booked in the Dec 3 Bloggers Cruise and I am so looking forward to it. BIG ED and the Evil Krewe will have plenty of time to “plan”. ;D
Don’t ever think that your Blog is boring. Never, never will it be that. I look forward to reading it everyday and all the interesting and funny things you talk about. Keep writing please.
Big Hug for you, Heidi and “Thingy”
Joan
John, Please reply
Well I am finally back from the dark side(RCCL) (just made my final payment for the Freedom) Can i get the shore excursions desk for the freedom email’s address. I am want to book a dolphins swim, but i am looking for a specific time, so i can catch up with some friends that have moved back to jamica, just want to fit everthing in.
Thanks
Hi John & Heidi,
How could you possibly say you are boring? “NEVER”. We love you just the way you are.
I’m glad you’re trying to give up cigars, but there goes your promise to join me for a brandy in the cigar bar on the 11/15 Dream blogger’s cruise. Maybe just the Brandy, or a Bailey’s for me?
I love your GPS system. wish I could have heard it.
Hugs,
Carol
Well I guess we don’t have much in common. I like skiing and camping and would like to do an African safari! We camp so we can afford to cruise once in a while. In fact we camped close to a zoo once and heard the lions roaring all night so I had a mini safari.
Since my husband does not care for skiing we’ve compromised with cruising. Camping makes us easy to please cruisers. We are so used to doing things ourselves that the service in the supper club made us a bit uncomfortable. Just not used to so much attention. 
Hi John,
Today’s blog was good for some laughs and some trips down memory lane.
My parents never even said the word sex to me, let alone explained anything about it. How I learned about sex: 1) The school showed us girls the “girls’ movie” in 5th grade. 2) The school showed us girls the “boys’ movie” in 6th grade. 3) Judy Blume’s book “Forever”, it was a rite of embarrassing passage to go into a book store and purchase it. 4) From my friends and siblings (my sister had to explain what a lesbian was to me).
When I got a little older I took Sex Ed as an elective class in high school, we learned about a lot of the more interesting aspects and variants of the subject. LOL!
So don’t worry the educational system has got your back!
But really, do you ever stop learning about it?
Ahem… okay onto other topics… I got a GPS for Christmas as well. When I returned from the Carnival event in Philly, I mentioned that it would have been nice to have a GPS since the Ben Franklin Bridge was closed and I got very lost several times. Scott is a man who listens on occasion! He went more for function then fun, so I can use it with topographical maps while hiking, but I can’t download funny voices for it.
However, I did set the voice to the British woman. She sounds so stern when she speaks, it makes me feel a little naughty…
And there we are back at topic one again! LOL!
Oh well, I have a party princess rep to protect!
Can’t wait for this month to fly by!
All the best to you and Heidi and Mini-Heald. And big props to Stephanie, mistress of the blog, because the closer we get, the more… ummm… “stuff” she gets to deal with! Cheers Steph!
Cheerios,
Laura (aka divetrash, aka Princess Laura, the sweet and innocent of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe)
John,
Boring? …Never
Skiing is just nuts. Safari, done it, Kenya was rugid and beautiful, stayed in a lodge though, not a tent.
Camping is an inexpensive getaway between cruises. I work 12-hour night shifts in the ER, so when I get a few days off, I head out camping, walk some trails and do some fishing.
Cruising is still my favorite vacation. Carnival was my first cruise and I have had no reason to look elsewhere.
Cheers,
Ron(cruisin’ in ’09)RN
Sometime my life seems all turned around…… upside down or inside out…..perhaps I just loathe winter….
Yes…yes I do!
I said upside down
You’re turnin’ me
You’re givin’love instinctively
Round and round You’re turnin’ me
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Skiing clearly is not my forte. Unless you consider skiing out of control the way to go….Stopping for me consists of coasting gently to a stop or simply falling down. Usually the latter of the two methods seemed to be the one I was better at handling……occasionally using another skier as collateral damage to slow me down.
“Get out of my way! Look out I cannot stop!”
Falling down so many times over the course of an afternoon does take a toll on ones knees….I couldn’t walk well that evening or the next day……
Ahh joys of skiing….
Then there is always the possibility of this type of thing happening…the poor sod:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/06/vail-chairlift-accident-l_n_155578.html
The Flying (upside down your’re turning me) Dutchman
Hi John,
Getting the feeling of missing being on ship yet? I am just now getting a chance to catch up on everything. It has been firework season and I have been at the firework tent since Dec 15th. It was rough not having internet there. (as I slept in a 31 foot camper that has central heat and a satellite television)
I had a customer tell me a joke you could relate to. A guy goes to a doctor for a prostate exam. As the doc is lubing up, the guy tells the doc to use “TWO” fingers. The doc ask the guy why would he want him to do that for. The guy replies, “so he could get a second opinion”.
Dave
Hi John,
The first time I went skiing, I vowed to make it my last. And it was! As far as a safari…. well, I will wait for you to go then come back and tell me what a great time you had smelling yak poo and then, maybe, I will go…. if I can fit it in between cruises! LOL
Hugs!
Princess Barb