Saturday, January 10th, 2009...4:05 pm
That’s Not Funny
I am dreading tonight. Heidi and I are going to a big charity event in London. It’s being held at one of the five-star snob hotels called the Dorchester and there will be an auction …… followed by dinner……followed by…..music provided by a big band…….which means Heidi………will want to dance.
Men can’t dance. Their place is at the side of the dance floor getting drunk and laughing at the men who are trying to dance. However, thanks to programs like Dancing with the Stars this is no longer acceptable. Warren Sapp has hurt mankind and thanks to him and the other men who have taken part in the show we are expected…….to dance …………thank you so very much.
No real man should ever dance however there are three exceptions to this rule. Michael Jackson, John Travolta and Patrick Swayze. These are the only men on the entire planet ever to look brilliant and at home…………….on a dance floor.
No man should be proud of knowing the difference between the Foxtrot and the Pasidoblay thingy……….unless you are a little bit of a Len Goodman. Have you ever noticed though that the Simon Cowell of dance that is Len Goodman never actually dances himself? He criticizes other chaps prancing around in leotards and sparkly shirts but never gets up of his arse and shows them how it should be done.
Reality TV has hurt men for sure and tonight at the charity event I shall feel like Michael Caine in the movie Zulu. I won’t be surrounded by heavily armed warriors ready to give me the good news with their sharply pointed spears but thanks to reality TV I will be surrounded by women who will expect us men……….to dance.
Tonight’s event is for a worthy children’s cause that I have been involved in for some time at a local level here in Essex but tonight we have been invited to a black-tie event which, although the massive amount of money I will be spending to attend goes to the charity, the evening has the potential to be full of danger.
First of all there is the getting ready for Saturday night’s event which for Heidi started 10 days ago. Heidi, like most women, suffers from a debilitating illness where she can look at a walk in solidly packed with clothes and proclaim with that one tear running down her cheek “I have nothing to wear.” It is then a man’s job to carefully point out the hundreds of sodding items clearly visible to the naked eye and that can also be seen on Google Earth. Why is it that after a man has pointed this out no woman in history has ever said ……….”You know what honey, you are right. I do have lots to choose from and thank you for helping me see the light. Now, let me go and make you a cup of tea and a hero sandwich.”
This never happens but what does is that the man just sighs, gets his credit card out and makes his own sandwich. I remember once when Heidi did the “I have nothing to wear” thingy , I thought for a joke I would agree and take a huge handful of her clothes and put them in the garbage bin………..that was a huge mistake. Never, ever joke about a woman’s clothes just as you would never joke with a police officer……….either could get you a large dose of pepper spray in the face.
This time the “I have nothing to wear” also had the added fun of nearly being true because, of course, Heidi has a sack of potatoes down her dress and that meant a trip to a designer maternity clothes shop.
Eventually we went to a regular shop and bought a regular dress that shows off her bump…….it looks the same as the three hundred other black dresses she has in her closet but because my bottom does not want a close encounter with the new shoes that go with the dress……….I bit my lip and said bugger all.
Of course, there was the pure hell of having to hold her purse while she tried the dress on. Only women enjoy purses. I tried to resist holding her purse because it feels so wrong. That’s why “Man Bags” are so wrong and are another example of the world trying to feminize men. Only Len Goodman and Jack Bauer look good with man bags.
I even hate going inside Heidi’s purse. If she asks me to get something from her purse my face contorts as if she has asked me to put my hand in some yak poo and then lick my fingers. I am always scared that my hand will get trapped in there in the mouth of one of those Venus Trap flower thingies and I will be slowly pulled in where my genitals will be removed by a Judge Judy look-a-like.
Men should never ever try and buy a purse as a present without taking another woman or Len Goodman with you. Buy one alone and you are not handing the woman you love a purse……….you are handing her a receipt.
Then, of course, there is the dinner.
How many times have you been out with your wife or partner and your lady opts for the salad. Your heart skips a beat and you let out a huge sigh……..because you know she will be stealing your food moments after its arrival. I have seen this so many times on board when I sit with the captain and his guests and, of course, Heidi is the master of this. The phrase “just get what you want and I will have a little taste” is very bad news for men because you know you will be lucky to get three mouthfuls as he large Chewbacca size hand leans over and scoops up the lot. One idea though men is to deliberately order something that tastes the same as fried elephant scrotum….do that and she may never take your food ever again.
Oh yes and as we are talking about dinner and restaurants…………I have one other gripe. If a group of five men go out for dinner the check is split five ways…….because there are five of them. Five women have something to eat together and it is a little different. Once the check arrives they spend the next hour carrying out complex mathematical formulas because Marie didn’t have an appetizer and Ashley only had the salad and only should therefore have to have that. Tracy had some wine but Dusty didn’t and Francine don’t have anything at all except water but she did have an appetizer.
If Jesus’ disciples had been women the last supper would still be going on now because the big guy had turned water into wine but Paulette and Doubting Tina didn’t have any.
Anyway……..Good morning everyone. How are you? It’s freezing again here and temperatures last night were at minus 10 degrees making this so far one of the coldest Januarys I can ever remember. Very quickly and having read questions from my friends Carolyn and Don and Wes and Liz let my categorically confirm that I was 100% completely joking when I mentioned that the Bloggers tour was clothing optional ……… everyone must wear the usual beach resort wear and under no circumstances will topless bathing be allowed…………nudity and bloggers are words that should never appear in the same sentence ………..just like airline and food. Sorry guys for the confusion.
Thanks for the comments yesterday about what you enjoy about our onboard gift shops and what you would like to see on their shelves. I still invite you to write-in about this if you have not yet done so and just to save you going backwards here is what I wrote yesterday:
A few weeks ago I told you all that I would need your help and advice as we continue to keep Carnival at the top of the industry.
Your thoughts are going to be very important to us this year and over the next few weeks I will be talking to you about some of the areas we need your comments on. I want to talk to you over the next few days about some of the areas on the vessels where you the guest …………spend your money.
Now, I would be a first class idiot if I tried to pretend that we don’t want you to spend loads of dosh (www.urbandictionary.com ) on board but…….we also want to know where you want to spend it and on what. We want to improve and we want to have things available that you want to spend your money on and have fun doing so.
Therefore, over the next few days we will cover the following.
CASINO
ART AUCTION
BAR
PHOTO
BINGO
SPA
We may cover some other areas as well but for now…………those are the areas I need your honest thoughts on. Remember, the reason I am asking you this is because they are your ships and we want to have the best facilities possible. We could just boldly make changes without asking our guests’ opinions as most other cruise lines have done and will do or we could change absolutely nothing thinking everything in the garden is rosy. Not at Carnival………..this blog is one way for you to post your thoughts and suggestions knowing that each one will be read not just by me but by people very high up ……..some of whom have beards which means they will listen and act on what you say.
Therefore, today’s subject is:
THE ONBOARD GIFT SHOPS
We think our onboard shopping experience is brilliant. They have recently brought in a huge selection of jewelry and fine luxury items while keeping faith with the old faithfuls like Inch Of Gold and other daily specials.
So, with this in mind I wonder if you might take the time to write your thoughts about your onboard shopping experience. Now, I could ask specific questions but I don’t want this to be too regimented. Maybe you could tell us the sort of merchandise you buy when you cruise. Do you think they have a good selection and do you have any suggestions on what you would like to see for sale in the shops the next time you cruise? We want your onboard shopping experience to be the best and we can continue to make sure this happens through your comments and suggestions …….so…..let’s see what you all have to say. Again, this will help us of course but ultimately it well help you all enjoy your onboard shopping experience that much more. I look forward to reading your thoughts.
So, I will please ask you to tell me honestly what you think about our onboard shops and then on Monday I will talk to you about another area of the ship. Remember…….this is not just idle chit chat because this year this humble blog can make a difference as we continue to ask you what you want to see onboard your fun ships.
I had a SKYPE conversation last night with my actor mate Kevin from Gray’s thingy. It was weird seeing him sitting in a trailer dressed as a doctor waiting for his next scene. As was pointed out by a blogger, Kevin was just on Ellen Thingy’s show. He has done Jay, Jimmy Thimble or something and now Ellen. He thought she was wonderful and he really felt good about his interview.
It’s great to see him doing so well and Danny and I are very proud of him. Time was that an English actor only got work in America if he was prepared to ham up his Englishness to play a villain, an eccentric bad guy who was “emotionally constipated.” So it is wonderful that now people like Kevin and other British actors are doing so well. Look out for Kevin in a movie called Bunraku with Demi Moore and Josh Hartnett ………… where he plays a ……ummmmm…………killer………oh well, guess the Brit villian thing hasn’t completely gone then.
Every night some sour faced city analyst comes on the television news to say that the stock market has plunged another 20,000 points since lunch time and we will all soon be forced to burn our family pets just to stay warm….and it’s all because of the credit crunch.
Bollocks………..I have finally discovered why the economy is in such a bad way here at the beginning of 2009. The world’s markets are in free fall because the brokers spent too much time e-mailing one another with tales of the previous night’s sexual conquests. Hardly a day goes by without a poor hapless girl getting her photo chain e-mailed all over LehmanciticorpMerrill and Sons as the subject of a stripy-shirted clown’s electronic global boast.
Every morning when I log on to my computer, my inbox is stuffed to overflowing with messages, none of which ever has anything to do with cruising, Carnival or anything I actually care about. Most are from companies offering me Viagra and loans to pay for it. Then there are usually a couple from someone I’ve never met telling me that they had rumpy pumpy last night with someone called Abi while talking to their girlfriend on the phone.
Then there’s someone called “the Joker” who sends me viruses. But luckily they always come as a zip file, which my computer doesn’t understand because it only speaks Indian.
There are basically four stages of humor that we go through as we grow up. Before we’ve mastered the art of speech, a funny face is sufficient to make us laugh. Then we go through the pooh phase before jokes come on the scene at around the age of eight. ……….ok…………I admit that I have never actually come out of the “poo ” phase.
I once saw Ricky Gervais (the creator of The Office) live on stage and he was so funny even my nose laughed. But at no time did he mention a nun, a chicken or an elephant. Nobody crossed the road, nobody went into a bar and nobody arrived at the pearly gates.
What I have always tried to do is to have people laughing because of the absurd. I try to use spontaneity, timing and imagination. Something a little bit more than a punch line that was visible to the naked eye 10 minutes ago. When people I meet onboard say they are going to tell me a joke, I always listen intently hoping that it is one I have never heard before. That’s because I think I have probably heard every joke there ever was. I have a few blogger friends who send me daily jokes for which I am truly grateful yet I have still to find that one joke that makes me lose control and consequently have to purchase new underwear.
Then you have the “genuine” letters sent to homeowners saying they must dismantle the dam they have built in their back garden. And the “genuine” replies explaining that the dam was built by beavers. I’ve shortened it for you here — the real thing is longer, more difficult to read and less funny than finding out how much a steak is onboard the thismeatisntfree of the seas…
I wouldn’t mind but some of these jokes are visual so you have to sit around for 20 minutes while the computer downloads them. Twenty-four of those — by no means implausible — and that’s the entire eight-hour working day gone. You will go home having done nothing but look at a man’s thingy that is shaped like a carrot — or vice versa.
And so it is that I have promised myself that when I am onboard the Carnival Valor as cruise director I will not e-mail the hotel director whose office is next door ………instead I will go over and see him and tell him this joke instead of e-mailing it to him.
A woman walked up to a little wrinkled up man rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a happy life?”
“I smoke 10 cigars a day,” he replied. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat lots of fatty foods, and never ever take any exercise.”
“That’s amazing, “the woman said. “Exactly how old are you?’
“Twenty-six,” he said.
Returning to my topic at the start of this blog there is of course a big difference between what men and women find funny ………and nothing more so than……..the fart.
I have never seen a grown woman break wind and then waft the pungent smell towards her best friend’s vicinity………this does not happen. Only men and children find farting amusing.
Here is an extract from the New York Post which will prove what I mean.
A bullied office worker has been awarded $50,000 after her boss raised his right buttock from his chair and broke wind in her direction
If you are laughing right now………….you are either ten years old…………or a man.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy.
50 Comments
January 10th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
I am a man. I laughed. In fact, I giggled like I was a bit unhinged.
Sadly, I am at work and don’t have time for a lengthy reply.
I’d answer the question about the gift shops but I did that yesterday.
Tomorrow, I’ll be sitting in the AT&T Center watching the Spurs take on the Orlando Magic and seeing for myself if Dwight Howard really is Superman. Thank you, Stitch.
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
January 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
hi john
how about Carnival setting up ON-LINE
shopping,we could order T-Shirts and etc.
from all or favorite SHIPS.
what say you!
tom & jane
January 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Coffee Cups with Ships Name. Last cruise on Liberty none in gift shops. Thanks, great blog!
January 10th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
John please reply.
John,
Cancelled the cruise I had originally scheduled with RCL in April and I am happy to say that I am coming back to Carnival. There more I thought about it I didn’t want to pay for my steak dinner, my sandwich at 1:00 a.m. OR see the need for a rock climbing wall or an ice skating rink.
Anyway, sailing on the Valor’s 4/16 and 4/26 Western Caribbean sailings on a back to back cruise for my mom’s birthday. Do you have any idea which night the past guest party will be? We don’t want to schedule an excursion that gets us back to the ship later in the day and have to go to the cocktail party all sweaty and hot from our beach excursion. Ha, ha!
LOVE the cocktail parties and I never miss them.
The itinerary is:
Miami
Sea Day
Grand Cayman
Roatan Island
Belize
Cozumel
Sea Day
Miami
Thanks!!!
Melissa
January 10th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Hi John,
Well, I guess I’m either 10 years old or a man (all physical evidence to the contrary), because I laughed. Frankly, farts are funny! (And apparently alliterative!)
I’m also a woman who is not big on the shopping, so I don’t spend a lot of time in the shops. I duck in if I need something I might have forgotten, and I usually give it a quick once around. I buy rum cakes in there to bring home to the boyfriend, when I’m too darn lazy to get off the ship in Grand Cayman. I set foot in the jewelry shop once on my Victory cruise just to see what they offer, but working in the business that I do (diamonds) I just don’t get excited by jewelry all that much.
So perhaps I should wait to put my 2 cents in on another on board spending topic… like the spa or the drinks.
Wait… I’m seeing a pattern here… laughs at fart jokes, not a big shopper, jewelry holds little fascination… Oh my gosh! I think I might be a man! Well, if I am a man I guess that means I can go topless at the Bloggers Excursion! LOL!
As always, all the best to you, Heidi, and mini-Heald. And big thanks (and we really need to buy her several drinks on the BC) to Stephanie, Mistress of the Blog!
Cheerios,
Laura (aka divetrash, aka Princess Laura, the sweet and innocent of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe)
January 10th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Hi John & Heidi
The Minute you mentioned Dinner I knew You would have to buy Heidi and “Thingy” a New Dress to be seen in..
Now in regards to the ships shops. I definitely like the daily sales, and specials. The problem is sometime you cannot turn around or even breathe in the room during these sales, sometimes the women are rude, and sometimes you need to bring the hubby as back up to survive!
We usually go home with shirts, jewlery and assorted sundries. I did not find my favorite perfumes onboard. but that’s no big deal.
The Mr. says he would like the Jewelry to be more affordable somwhere between the “inch of gold” and the “thousand dollar blue diamond necklace” that the “regular chap” can afford.
We also spend our $$ on photos every time. I would like to get a bargain if you buy so many photos to get a discount, or perhaps have a chance to get the “8 x 10″ in a “5 x 7″ size. Not everyone keeps 8 x 10 photos of themselves all over the house..”How Vain”… But if you buy 2 or 3 8 x 10 it would be nice to get the third or 4th one free. Its hard enough to choose one(picture) out as it is out of the dozens they take..
The other thing that we spend our funds on if the slot machines in the casino. Our only complaint is that there is never enough “Wheel of Fortune” machines. You have to wait and wait :Those little old ladies sometimes play 2 machines at a time claiming they are playing it for ther friend who is in the bathroom! My other concern is that they should have a small “no smoking area in the casino, the problem is usuually in any casino when they do HAVE this non-smoking area? You have to walk thru ALL the smokers to get to it! That takes the cake! Now I sound like a GRIPPER that you do usually have to deal with on the ship and I really don’t want to be one of those but You did ask for my opinion. so there it is from Florida.
Our 25 Cents worth.
Take Care
The Tuckers
Arnold & Elizabeth
January 10th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Hi John, I really like the ships gift shops. I buy tee shirts and jewelry. Dave will confirm that I have been known to buy really expensive jewelry. I hate junk. I wish the gift shop would have more of the better brand names. One of the things I don’t like about the gift shop is that they advertise special one day sales and they bring out stuff already marked with the sale price. The price hasn’t been reduced. The only thing special is that they displayed it that day. I would like to see more gold jewelry preferably white gold. No gemstones just gold.
Hope you enjoyed London. I have a friend who used to stay at the Dorchester often. Nice hotel!
Jo
January 10th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Hhhhmmmmm….
The shopping experience on Carnival. I like to shop. I really do. I like to wander about the store, listening to other shoppers talking about the store, chat with the crew members and soak in the atmosphere. I almost always buy a ship model, Christmas ornaments, and cook books.
I recently sailed on the Canada/New England voyage on the Victory and can say that the shopping was less than interesting. I felt that the whole place was waiting for someone to take charge and re-do the entire thing. It was like they were getting ready for the Caribbean, on a cruise with no passengers. The shipping boxes were left in the aisles and some days you even had to climb over them to get through. I would never have seen the ship model, if I hadn’t really looked. It was on the bottom shelf, in it’s box, with nothing on display. I wanted to get the set of cookbooks that Carnival has available. The only place they were sold was the Formalities shop, which not only has formal attire, but a cooler for flowers, candy by the pound, crazy hats and tucked up way in the back the cook books, all in a space the size of a closet. The employee, after she got done talking to a friend, did not even know that they were there and seemed kind of annoyed that she would have to get off her stool to get them.
I am not a tee shirt kind of guy and I like to see fine jewelry, watches and upscale logo items and echoing other comments, one size does not fit all or even many, and a mid range of jewelry prices would be great.
Besides having a wonderful selection of logo and destination Christmas Ornaments, I would like to suggest that you might want to add some books and DVD’s on cruising, ships, etc. also maybe a documentary on the History of Carnival, or “Building a better DREAM,” or something of that ilk. Maybe a book on creating the entertainment on Carnival Ships, “From Concept to Curtain Calls.”
I would really like to see a new attitude, new display techniques, better lighting and a little more style in the gift stores… maybe spread the FUN to the stores.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give the shopping experience a 6.
Thanks for listening.
Cheers!
Derek
January 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Good Evening John. My wife and I just cleared our driveway of snow. We’ve been doing it all day and based on what the news is telling us we’ve had 10 to 12 inches of this white stupidity. I can’t wait til my cruise on the Valor.
As far as the gift shops, I like buying the cups that show the picture of the ship that I’m I. Is there a way to order them because I doubt that I will be going on all the Carnival ships. How about replicas of the ships, good size one but not to expensive because most of the everyday people couldn’t pay for an expensive one and therefor not buy it. I would buy a shirt with a photo of John Heald on it. I think most bloggers would buy it.
The photo section is a good one but the part where everytime you leave a port they want you to stop and get you picture taken that part I think showed stop. Have the photographers on the pier and wait for any person that wants it but not everyone. The photos I like and usually buy are the one when my wife and I are dressed up, the dinner table one, especially if the people are people you will probably never see and you want something to remember them by and finally some finally one that are taken on deck. I noticed that I would have liked to have had a photo of my wife and I with the Captain but that never happened. My brother just came back from a cruise on another ship, the company you don’t like and he showed me the photo of him and his wife wife the Captain. He was gigantic man. That would be a photo I would buy. Well John, that’s it for now.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
January 10th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Dear John and Heidi,
Your fart comments reminded me of a classic bit from the old “Benny Hill Show” where he plays a wealthy rancher and his wife is complaining about the name of the ranch, “why did you have to name the ranch Passing Wind?” To which he replied… “I like Passing Wind, it’s BEAUTIFUL!”
I am fortunate to have a wife that finds the Three Stooges funny! We also find the humor in farting, so go figure!
Other men who were phenomenal on the dance floor, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Danny Kay, Donald O’Conner and Ken Berry to name just a few from American stage and film.
Lance & Ilda
January 10th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Hi John (please reply),
Hope you and Heidi had a good time at the charity event. I’m sure Heidi looked lovely and was the envy of all the other women there. And just think you were the lucky man to escort her and the wee Thingy.
While Carl and I will be enjoying ourselves on the Bloggers Cruise my parents are going to be leaving Miami on the Carnival Miracle. Can you tell me who the CD will be? They will be taking a Back to Back and are really looking forward to it. It’s been a few years since they have cruised.
Thanks John!
Hugs!
Princess Barb the quiet one of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe
January 10th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
In regards to the Carnival gift shops, we would like to see the following:
A lower price option for jewelry. There doesnt seem to be many middle prices available, the jewelry is either real cheap or very expensive.
Larger sizes of men’s clothing and smaller women’s sizes. Also a variety of clothing (instead of mainly TShirts and sweatshirts) would be nice. When my luggage was lost for 4 days of the 7 day cruise, I didnt have many clothing options to purchase for dinner, etc.
Quality flip flops available, especially on the Caribbean cruises.
More clothing items with the ship’s logo.
January 10th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
John,
On our first cruise on the Carnivale–yes, it was quite a while ago–you were able to buy a clear poly ship with the ship’s name engraved on it, and baseball caps with the ship’s name embroidered on them, in the onboard shops. They made great souvenirs from each ship you sailed on.
Hope to get to meet you on Mach’s special cruise in September. We really enjoy your blog.
The Older Folks
January 10th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
John,
Many thanks for your many hilarious and informative posts. Don’t ever stop!
Re: Gift shop, I’m a guy and I like to spend my port days snorkeling and drinking, not shopping. So for me, it would be helpful to have items for sale on board that relate to the ports of call. For example when I cruised Alaska on another line, they offered cute fuzzy bears and eagles, fleece jackets, and Indian-style blankets. I’m sure these were all made in China, but they were inexpensive, perfect gifts for friends and friends’ kids. Actually these were offered not in the gift shop but on Lido on large tables, only on one day.
Mid-priced quality items relating to our ports would also be welcome– for example, the other line had small carved jade walruses etc in wooden gift boxes for $60-150. Carnival’s offerings now seem to be at either the T-shirt or the diamonds end of the spectrum, not enough midrange, not enough local content.
Now I must tell you that since trying that other line, I have already been back to Carnival once (best cruise I ever had, mostly because of the great people I met on Cruise Critic’s Roll Call board) and I have another Carnival cruise booked in April. The other line does a great job but they can’t beat Carnival’s fun attitude and vibe that I love so much!
Thanks for all your good work,
Wendell
January 10th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Hi John, We read your blog alot. This is our first reply. As any man knows that cruises alot there is not much in the way of clothing for men onboard Carnival or any other line for that matter. Why doesn’t Carnival lead the way & start to carry nice golf shirts, shorts & other logo & brand name clothing We know women buy more clothes, but the guys will buy if there is a better selection. We know this won’t happen overnight, but we will keep on cruising. March 22 on the Victory is the next one.Can’t wait to get WARM!
Stay warm, Larry& Connie
January 10th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
John,
We always visit the shops while on board. The kids and my husband always find something. They love the cheap watches (the $10 ones).
The area I would love improved is the scrapbooks and the scrapbooking supplies. Maybe a more simple kit that doesn’t have all the stickers but some real nice cruise and Carnival themed papers! And scrapbooks that can handle over 40 pages since I usually take over 1000 pictures on each cruise. The kits I saw last year on the Miracle were a bit dated and I would love to find new kits on our Spring Break cruise on the Valor in March.
January 10th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
John, Thanks for clearing up the nudity misunderstanding. Personally I have no desire to see anyone in the nude except my hubby, of course. I think a man is way more sexy in a pair of tight jeans. The only human that I have ever seen that was pretty in the nude were my babies, fresh out of the bath and smelling so sweet with baby powder and lotion.
Has Heidi received the pkg for the baby yet:? they told me how to track it and it continues to say.
We attempted to deliver your item in GREAT BRITAIN at 8:59 AM on January 5, 2009.
I hope it is not lost. I worked so hard crocheting the baby blankets, It took me about 6 months to get them both done. If they are lost I will try to crochet another one and bring it to you on the Valor. Tell Heidi I tried. I even paid $37.50 for priority mailing.
I have the present that my daughter-in-law made, but there is absolutely NO WAY I will mail it. Your postal system sucks……….. excuse me I’m upset with them.
We never did receive the card you sent us either.
Hope you had a grand time at the party tonight.
Countess Carolyn……….
January 10th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Dear John & Heidi,
Sorry about your cold weather. That is unuasul for England. I would be happy to trade with you, it has been -20F here since before Christmas.
Thankfully we are leaving on Monday(12th) to meet up with the Carnival Elation in San Diego, so hopefully the weather will be much better.
I like the shops the way they are now, and I love the casino.
Sharon
Anchorage, Alaska
January 11th, 2009 at 2:48 am
Hi Princess Laura, wow…long time no see or hear (since Philly) Come on my blog and drop me a line sometime!
Hi John…see you and everone soon. Feb., is just around the corner!
What would i like to see in the shops? More Carribean food treats (ilove those Rum cakes from Grand Cayman also) and pastries, etc. As for clthing items, maybe larger sizes(think Fashion Bug). Can’t think of anything else right now, except, oh yeah to be able to order more things on line and be able to have them delivered to your home address…not only to a cabin when you are cruising!!
Love to you all in the crew, thanks for all those kind, thoughtful comments from you all,you’re the best!
Sue M aka suefrmnarrowsburg
January 11th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Dear John, Love your blog. We’ve been on 14 cruises with Carnival since 05. We love you. First I’d like to say that the photo thing is such a waste. I see all that paper and ink and think there has to be a better way. And the prices are so high because of all that waste. Is there some way you could go digital? I’ve been other places where you look at a computer cd of your pictures and then pick out the ones you like. Also, I love your mate, Kevin. I watched him in Journeyman and thought he was just great. I’ve also seen him in a couple of movies. I saw him on Ellen too. Good for him. Going on the Miracle, Feb. 1st. can’t wait.
Thanks again, Lynda
January 11th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Being a guy, the only thing I buy is a shot glass, so just make sure there are shot glasses with the ship’s name on them.
And tell Kevin McKidd that NBC screwed him on Journeyman. That was an awesome show!
Jeff
January 11th, 2009 at 10:41 am
I’m not a man, but I did laugh. But, you always make me laugh. Don’t ever think you’re not funny.
Bless Heidi for needing something new for your charity event. It’s tough to be a girl, John, really it is. We just are NOT the simple creatures you men are! I knew I didn’t need anything new for the Bloggers cruise, but I was drawn to the shops. It’s unexplainable.
Best to you, Heidi and Thingy!
Stitch
January 11th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Hi John, Regarding the gift shops; We just got back from a cruise and I enjoyed the shopping but couldn’t find a Christmas ornament(the round ball type) with the named ship in it. I like to collect them from all our cruises. Also more light weight slacks or cargo pants would be nice. Some of us don’t wear the short,short or even just short shorts -what a strange sentence! Actually I always enjoy the gift shops and buy something every time. Jeri
January 11th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Hi John!
Loved the 4 stages of humor. It definitely seems true.
Hope the diet/no smoking is going ok for you. Today marks one week with no smoking for me.
Have a nice Sunday and take care!
David
January 11th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Tough it out dude…At least she hasn’t asked you to go to the store for “Tampons”.
January 11th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
PLEASE REPLY
hello john
how about this RETRO TEE SHIRTS
FROM
Mardi Gras,,,,,
S.S. Festivale,,,,,
S.S. Carnivale,,,,,
three sweet ladies,,almost brings a tear to my eyes,
and it just did,,,,,wow
we sailed on all three,,,many times
god were old,,,,
teary eyed in Tampa
tom & jane
January 11th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I realize that space constraints would make it very difficult to incorporate all of the wishes expressed by those who have responded to your question about the gift shops. Certainly, jewelry, perfume, and ship specific collectibles are always popular. Has anyone at Carnival considered designating one shop to contain ALL the ship-related merchandise? One shop (maybe called The Carnival Collection) where all the Carnival tees, mugs, jackets, ship models, etc. could be found. I love the ship specific merchandise and collect the mugs with the ship name. I also like such items as the ship menus, cookbooks, any books authored by the captain or crew on board. Normally these items are found scattered here and there but not marketed specifically. I believe that the way in which merchandise is displayed and promoted makes a huge difference in how well it will sell. Just a thought. Good luck with your goal of making improvements for your passengers!
January 11th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
What I particularly like to see stocked in the Gift Shop are items associated with the ports we are visiting. Many times shore time is limited for shopping, with tours etc. I’m so busy soaking in the culture of the area, I forget the all important souvenirs. I was disappointed on our Baltic cruise, by the lack of items stocked from the different countries. I assume this was because it was the last Baltic cruise, and Carnival didn’t want to be stuck with stuff when it was over. There were some Russian things, but they were very picked over, and many times broken. Usually I am very satisfied with selection and quality. We will be doing the SA cruise, all three legs. I hope to see items from each area we visit stocked for us. So much to see and experience, I’ll probably forget to pick up those T-shirts onshore.
By the way, will there be a Super Bowl party on board the Splendor for all the football fans?
Joyce
January 11th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Hi John, Heidi and Thingy,
I love Carnival’s gift shops. One of my favorite things to do is poke through them on sea days. The perfume, and makeup are great deals and I love the little items such as the pashima scarfs, which are wonderful for cool evenings.
It would be really nice to have a updated T shirts as we using buy a set for each cruise. I also LOVED the scrapbooking items sold and would love updated versions to add more pages to my books.
One thing I would suggest you carry is commonly miss packed tolitries, and those necessitites especially useful to be able to have for a 2 day cruise to the first port of call. A small sundries shop would probably be very profitable for the shops.
Thank you for listening and stay warm!
Nancy
January 11th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Hi John
Our comments
CASINO: in all the ships Jeanne and I have traveled on the experience was great!
We love that there were more video blackjack machines on Splendor but we are not big Gamblers. The Staff at the Craps tables are always friendly on all ships and will guide you as a new comer.
ART AUCTION: We always love it but there was no Park West on Spirit. We love the Art we have bought. Thank’s Park West and Carnival.
BAR: always good. The staff makes a fabulous martini and can make recommendations for a new drink to try. The drink of the day up on Lido is a good bargain and always fun!
PHOTO:Love all our Carnival memory Photo’s
More ship Scrapbook items please.
Oh Yes! The Photo people are always nice.
BINGO :Always Fun.Price for tickets always good.
SPA :We loved the SPA on all the ships but Splendor( IT LOOKS WONDERFUL but thats about it!) We felt as if everything was a charge including the sauna where we never had a charge before.
After our walk though Splendors Spa and once given the price sheet, we never used the SPA at all the entire cruise. Felt “nickeled and dimed”.
On other ships once I used the free amenities I looked at other things they offered and booked some service. More Specials during the Cruise is a plus. I usually do not say a word about this stuff as a working blue collar guy I’ve feel lucky to go on the cruises I have all around the world.
If I can’t afford something extra I just do not do it.Liberty was Great! My Jeanne loves going to the spa for the “three for one” specials–she usually gets a facial, body scrub, and massage and there were NO specials on the Splendor. This is her big “treat” to herself and it was disappointing.
We Added the next Item did not get to comment the last time.
ENTERTAINMENT: The shows are always fabulous. However, on the Splendor baltic cruise, many of us were surprised and disappointed that there was no “midnight adult comedy show”. These are usually great. We appreciate when the next day is an early port, Carnival has begun doing an early show for the late seating so they do not miss a show by getting to bed early to rest up for the next day’s activities. The singing and dance
performers are always energetic and rival with broadway.
We are loyal Carnval Customers and are booking Miracle for next New Years Eve.
It is nice you are asking these Question in these hard times.
The more value customers get on a cruise the more they are likly to buy the extras.
In my twenty plus year experience with mid and high income customers,personal service always ranked number one,knowing the customer and making them feel like Family brings them back again and again.
Hope our comments get to Mr Cahill.
Thanks John Your the Best.
Ray and Jeanne
January 11th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
John
As I live in a house full of men, there is always a lot of farting going on. What is with you guys????
As a mom of a Carnival employee, I felt it was my duty to buy things on the ship. I purchased a watch on the Paradise and a beautiful ring on the Conquest. I also bought makeup and perfume. When we were on the Conquest in April, my friend who is a jewelry nut, carefully reviewed the rings, then looked for the same ones in the ports and found them to be cheaper on the boat. By buying on the boat, you have your warranty which I had to use this year and the service was wonderful.
As far as shirts and stuff. I looked and bought some but would have liked stuff with the boat name on it. We also waited until the last day when they had a blowout sale. My complaint about that is we couldn’t find some shirts in the size we wanted so we bought others only to go to the lido deck to find they were selling shirts there.
Also, on cruise I did not think to bring a light jacket or sweatshirt as the dining room and some areas were chilly at night so I had to wear my son’s (worked on the ship) hoodie with some God awful band name and picture on it until we went to Jamaica and bought one in the building right off the ship. Did not have any in the gift shop.
But overall, would rather buy things on the ship!
Karen
January 11th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Yes! More clothing options for us men! It would certainly be nice to have the option to pick up clothing which would be of use to me when I’m neither on a cruise ship or at a beach in the summertime. Golf shirts would be a very welcome addition, as would adding slacks to the shops (despite the lack of branding opportunities with them).
I also like the idea of having merchandise available which matches the ports of call. As Wendell described his Alaska cruise, displays like that I would love to see this for next time I am on a cruise with Carnival.
Thanks for your hard work in keeping Carnival great. While I’ve only cruised twice (and not nearly as often as my lovely fiancee) the fact that you and the rest of the Carnival team do your best to ensure passengers have a great time makes me very happy, especially as my luv finds Carnival to be her #1 cruise line.
January 11th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Tom and Jane mentioned online shopping, and Lorelei mentioned scrapbooking. Yes – online. Have so many pictures and souveniers from previous cruises that my wife would like to scrapbook, but would like to have Carnival Scrapbooks and kits available to do them. We’ve done so many cruises that after the fact we said “we should have bought that…..” add online availability.
January 11th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Hello john , as per usual excellent words of wisdom. I recall my son getting a series of books called Captain Underpants – he laughed and his friends laughed over those books for ever – he hated to read and he hated in particular to have to sit and have someone read until these books . Something about words like underware and fart make boys laugh.
So as for on board shoping I would think it is most important to keep clothing that fits all sizes cause of our clothing problems last cruise we needed to purchase clothes . Women need and like sundresses , shorts and tshirts – bathing suits are a great idea and of course the regular things like sun screen and toothpaste helps when one looses their bags . We had lost all our formal wear and wished there was a few items that were available for getting dressed up. that would not cost the same amount the cruise did . For example a rental of evening dresses and suits would have been ideal .
Presents for our children consisted of t shirts and they really liked the ones that had the ship on them . We liked the jewelry shops – not in our shopping plans , but very informative- we enjoyed the chance to purchase the tennis bracelets , the watches and the hair accessories . We felt the shops were not over priced and we are your regular shoppers looking for deals and good quality merchandise for good prices.
With the wonderful food all day long we never felt we needed anything.
John , I would really like to know how you get the time to answer all these questions and still have a busy life. I think its wonderful you put so much energy into your job . It is evident that Carnival has very dedicated staff.
I am working on our next cruise plans and would like to see Panama , We want to go on another Carnvial ship than Liberty as we ahve sailed twice with them. Do you know where the newest ship or the freedom will be next year or 2011.
Also please notify us of any contests we will enter any of them . Never know – Lady luck may be with us .
So we hope thing went well at the fundraiser and your evening was not to bad . Our evening was spent watching a few movies at home . No formal wear required . Have a wonderful Sunday .
Lou-anne and Calvin
January 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
The gift shop hmmmmm. Well since I always purchase something usually better sportswear/resort wear, shirts etc., this time was looking for kids t shirts and there really wasn’t much to pick from. Also this is the second cruise where we have met people with lost luggage and they are in such a dreaded position both men’s and women’s slacks, pants shirts and blouses in sizes from XS to XXXL in each would be so helpful for these people. Even if these items were kept elsewhere for these occasions. I can’t even imagine not having my own clothes and having to select items from the giftshop to wear for the entire cruise. It appears that everyone has it right about the jewelry–need some middle of the road priced items.
Hope you managed to get through the dancing with the stars without too much anguish.
January 11th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
In the gift shop I would love to see more clothing options in larger sizes. (2x, etc) in both men and womens.
January 11th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
John,
First off, I think farts are funny, and I’m a woman…strange, I know.
I think it’s wonderful how you’re collecting feedback from the bloggers.
As for onboard shopping, we like to get a Christmas ornament from every ship we sail on…the new ones that look like little ship models. Unfortunately, they didn’t sell them when we first started sailing on Carnival so we’re missing some of the ships. It would be nice if we could order them online when we got home.
Also, you need bigger sizes of t-shirts and sweatshirts for men and women.
One other little pet peeve…I get an instant headache when I walk into a perfume store…which is why I avoid them. As a result, I typically don’t even go into the shop that sells perfume which means I don’t get to browse the other things that are sold nearby. You may want to consider making perfume sales from their very own store.
Just a thought…
Lisa
January 11th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Hi Heidi and John, Do hope Heidi had a delightful evening and that you, John were a charming escort who danced with the lady all evening.
I like to browse the shops on sea days and look for items related to the ship or ports. I also always purchase gold by the inch, great for inexpensive bracelets, ankle bracelets, etc. I sometimes purchase quality jewelery during the Special Sale and am pleased that it always appraises very well when I have it insured. Also purchase Christmas ornaments of ship and ports when available.
Great idea someone suggested of a Carnival Related Gift Shop. Also like the suggestion of items mailed home. Naturally a sundries store is always helpful as we always seem to forget something at home.
January 11th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
John:
We are back from our B2B on the Fantasy and it ROCKED!!!! On the second part of our cruise (the 5 day) we had a Cat 12 Penthouse Suite. U70 and it was WONDERFUL!!
I have to say that I am more and more amazed at Big Tex’s talent every time we sail with him.
His facial expressions are priceless. Not to much…not to little…they are SPOT ON!!!
His punch lines never sound like punch lines…they sound like the funniest natural response you have ever heard. We have sailed with him since he was a Social Host (Jeremy Kick the Pig). He and Gary played off each other perfectly. I know Gary will have moved onto the Valor by the time the Blogger’s cruise comes around…but I look forward to Tex and Gary being back together on the Valor in April.
I had the highest high….and the lowest low on this cruise.
The highest high is that I got to sing My Heart Will Go On (the Titanic Song) to Captain Scala.
He is now my favorite Captain!!!!
My lowest low was the Talent Show. After 8 days of singing 5 hours of karaoke a night and belting out Journey….I got laryngitis (which is common for me, since I don’t sing properly from the diaphram).
The morning of the Talent Show….I felt the voice going. I was sucking down honey, water and steaming the vocal chords….and throwing in a little Peppermint Schapps for good measure. I severely limited my talking (which I am surprised did not make me explode) and did not even sing in karaoke that night…trying to save the voice.
I went to the sign up and we only had 2 other people show up….and since we needed a minimum of 3 people for there to be a show…I signed up….so the other 2 folks could participate.
Rehearsal went ok…not my best performance but no cracks.
About 8:45pm, I started my warm up for the 10pm show and my voice just closed up. So I grabbed the honey and water and kept at it hoping I had one more song in me. I was wrong. Oh well…they say humiliation is good for the soul. If so, my soul is doing really good right now!!!
Note to self….don’t try to sing in the Talent Show when you have laryngitis.
After 20 Talent and Legends shows….I guess one bomb is not a bad record!!!
I am happy to report that the Fantasy is in great shape and ready for us. We are going to have a BLAST!!
DJ was thrilled with the Gators winning the Championship. He is getting a tshirt in time for the Blogger’s Cruise so that he can show it to Big Tex (who is a huge Sooners fan). He and Big Tex were harassing each other before the game.
Karaoke ROCKED. The (dimmer) lighting in The Forum Lounge has been broken for YEARS. Rozwin had it fixed in one day. Now it does not look like a Convenience Store in there!!! We can actually dim the lights.
DJ had a blast with Iman…who is also a HUGE Gators Fan. Big Tex had DJ stand up for his 29 cruises at the Repeater’s Party. DJ was so excited.
There were only 3 Milestone Reward Members on board…and all 3 were in our family. (Josh only has 17.)
We only got DJ to eat in the formal dining room once. So, I think he will just eat on Lido every evening on the Blogger’s Cruise. Stan the Man (Maitre D) had DJ a nice table for four….but there is just something about eating there that bothers him. We can’t even get him to get out at home anymore. He either wants to eat in the car or have me bring it home. Perhaps this is something he will outgrow….
The young man who was our formal dining room bar staff on the Legend in May is now a bartender on the Fantasy. He recognized us as we walked down the promenade. He even remember DJ. His name is Alfonzo and he is a real jewel.
In Cozumel, a friend of mine who runs Paradise Beach got a driver for us. We went over to the East side of Cozumel and it was AMAZING. We have gone to Cozumel 4 to 5 times a year forever and had never gone to the East side. No electricity, primitive and beautiful. They have the porous rock where the surf shoots up through them. It was cool. They have a few bars that use generators and haul purified water and ice over every morning. I will have to post some pictures.
Anyway…it was only $95 for 3 hours and he took us anywhere we wanted to go. He picked us up at Puerto Maya and we had him drop us off at Paradise Beach so we could visit with Tom for the afternoon.
But the best part of the cruise was ….drum roll….
MY COMMENT CARD WAS DRAWN!!!!!!
All these years and all these cruises….and I have never had my card pulled. I am so excited. I want
all my Blogger Friends to send our positive vibes for us to win the cruise at the end of the month!!!
The odds are really good …. about 1 in 120.
woo hoo!!!
We will be thinking of you and Heidi during her Amino. I have had 2 of them. Not that it would have changed anything if they had come back positive….but because there are other health issues that this test can detect that can be treated ineutero. And the pediatricians treat the delivery a little differently if they know ahead of time.
Now I have to go do MORE laundry.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
January 11th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Spending money onboard.
Drop the Art Auction, I won’t go negitive but to say its not my thing.
Casino’s, I do spend lots of time and money there. If anything it could be bigger and smoke free. I was in a Colorado casino last week and every one was now smoke free.
Photos dept needs lots of improvement. They need to move to digital viewing in your cabin with your photos linked to your S&S. It might even cause the price to drop which would actually stimulate more sales.
January 11th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Farts…always funny.
Hi John,
Shopping, like many have already said, I like the items with the ship name. For those of us who have yet to lose that extra weight, larger sizes. It only takes one stroll through the Lido deck on a sea day to note alot of t-shirts go unsold due to the lack of larger sizes. I usually avoid the shops during the one-day sales…just crazy.
Some day you will have to tell us how you became mates with Kevin, if I recall he grew up in Scotland, not all that far from where I was stationed while in the Navy.
All the best to Heidi and the thingy.
Ron(cruisin’ in ‘09)RN
January 11th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Farts are occasionally funny …. I laughed …..But suing someone for $50,000 for allegedly farting in your general direction? Perhaps she felt like she was the butt of a joke…..
Gift Shops….They only things I may purchase from the gift shop would be a shot glass, a cap, or some other memento with the name of the ship emblazoned on the trinket. I’m not really big into the whole jewelry thing. The drawing for the free stuff from the jewelry shop turns out every soul wanting a freebie…..then you have hoards of people milling around and that area gets a wee be congested…..I say ditch the whole ….You must be present to win thing……
A friend of mine signed up for one of those drawing thingys……. She “won” some necklace bauble but “lost” since she was elsewhere on the ship. Cruise ships are big and requiring everyone to congregate at the gift shop is simply insane.
When they roll out the spools of gold/silver/lead/iron/nickel by the yard
I get the feeling I am watching QVC or something….
The Flying Dutchman
January 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
John:
As an official karaoke nut, I was amazed to see that in the Nashville Opry Mills (mall) they have a “recording kiosk” where you step into a glass booth and the operator records your performance on a CD. It is $25 for 2 songs. You get one practice run through and then they record.
It is a stand alone kiosk that is very compact and the system does a good job.
I have often thought that a set up like this would go over well on Carnival….since karaoke is packed every night. Especially with the little ones….the family hour is always full of little ones who want to sing.
Mom and Dad would love to have a recording of little Susie singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…
Just an idea…
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
January 12th, 2009 at 11:24 am
How can we send in photos (electronic)? I have a few I’d like to share from past cruises.
January 12th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Hello,
I hope you both have a lovely time at the charity event. As far as men dancing goes, a gay friend once said as he asks me to dance, “what is the function of gay men at weddings?” (Answer: to dance with all of the women whose husbands/boyfriends don’t dance.)
I’d love to add my 2 cents about the gift shop question. Thank you for asking! We usually like to purchase clothing with the name of the ship on it, but we don’t really have many opportunities to wear t-shirts anymore. We can’t wear them to work, etc. So we really appreciate finding shirts we could wear to work that have the ship name or cruise line logo. For example, my husband has a long sleeved, blue, collared shirt with the Carnival logo that he really likes.I bought it on-line on Carnival.com. I’ve never seen it in the on-board shops. He also has some really nice golf shirts with various cruise line logos that he bought onboard, mostly on Carnival. I have a few CCL golf shirts that I bought onboard, but I can’t wear golf shirts to work. I have a nice blouse (t-shirt style but blouse material) that I bought on the Caribbean Princess. It has a nice embroidered picture in fall colors, with the title of the cruise and the name of the ship on it. It is dressy enough to wear to work. I collect lapel pins, and always scour every gift shop for one with the name of the ship. I’m so glad CCL started giving those out at the past guest parties a few years ago. I also like the destination themed scrapbook sets. I tried to buy one on the Carnival Freedom, but they ran out by the 2nd day of the cruise. When I got home, I was able to order one from Carnival.com. I agree with all of the people who said the jewelry prices in the gift shop were either very high or very low. For example, I’d be willing to pay a little more for a pair of earrings that had a sterling silver or gold post, but I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars, just because I forgot to pack some earrings. Everyone forgets something when they pack. Why not have more “sundries” available? The gift shop on Princess was quite limited, but they did have one thing I really liked – a traveling alarm clock. I know the time is on the phone in our staterooms, but I really like to be able to lean over and say, “only 2 AM. Oh, good. I can go back to sleep.” Finally, I would like to see more things that are sold in the ports. Murano glass items (and jewelry) from Venice, gold-in-quartz from Alaska, etc. Also, a store that has packing supplies and offers shipping would be REALLY appreciated. If we buy booze, we can’t ship it home, and we can’t carry it on, so couldn’t Carnival have bubble wrap to give or sell us? It would generate a lot more sales. I really don’t want Scotch Whiskey scented underwear.
Again, thank you so much for asking. We can’t wait to meet you on the Feb. Bloggers’ Cruise.
Cheryl D.
January 12th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Hello John,
I feel your cold pain. Thank goodness we were able to be on the Freedom for New Year’s.
As for shopping onboard, I would suggest cruise itinerary shirts. Just the little maps from the website and list the ports of call. Most often, the ships are repeating one or two itineraries for a season, so the shirts should not be that hard to stock.
My kids would love a shirt like that from the ship. This time neither of them bought anything in the gift shop. Being 12 and 15, there was nothing interesting for their age group.
As for the photo shop, I am a professional photographer myself, so I understand the marketing and I don’t have a problem with it. I do offer a couple of suggestions, though. First, please stop forcing people into photo lines on the gangways and outside the dining rooms. Having photographers going around the tables at dinner is fine, but waiting in line at the gangway or on the way out from dinner is very annoying and makes for grumpy faced pictures. Let people choose if they want those photos.
Secondly, on the last evening, when throngs of people are waiting outside the photo shop in huge lines that stretch 1/3 of the way across the Promenade, please send extra staff (possibly cross trained from other departments) to help the photo staff. Most of the people in line are waiting to pick up reprints or enlargements that are already paid for. If staff from other departments could just hand out the guests’ pre-paid photo orders,the lines will move so much faster. We waited about 20 minutes to pick up photos that we were told we could not get until 10pm-11pm on the last evening.
Otherwise, I found the photographers polite, competent and professional. We had some beautiful memories captured on our recent cruise.
Have a fun dinner. I must say, there are times I wish I were male (I hate to shop) and I could get away with one suit and one tuxedo for all occasions! No worries about undergarments, shoes, accessories or temperature…
January 12th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
John Please Reply:
A little off topic. I am very eager to book a cruise for the summer of 2010. Do you know when Carnival will be releasing the new itineraries?
Thanks!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
HI JOHN,
The one thing I like to buy on ships are the booklets with the photos of all the main rooms on the ship I am taking as I am not a good photographer. The last ship I was on was the Pride and they had no postcard photo albums of the ship or even just one postcard of the ship.
Thanks for asking!
Donna D.
January 15th, 2009 at 1:40 am
John,
Yesterday, I mailed something to your PO Box 240 address in Essex, UK. However, I am concerned that you may not receive it for quite some time due to your sailing schedule.
Is there a way to send three, 2-page letters (6 pages total) to your blog or some other e-mail address without having the letters appear in your blog for all to read?
Two of the items are letters of appreciation I wrote after cruises on the Freedom and Splendor commending various employees. I know that the complimentary remarks in the letter I sent Mr. Bob Dickinson were not forwarded to the Freedom employees. There is also a letter of appreciation addressed to you commending several employees who served us so well on our recent Splendor cruise.
They are all Microsoft Word documents I can send as one single attachment to an e-mail if I had your e-mail address. Please let me know how to get everything to you expeditiously and yet avoid having them appear on the blog.
Sincerely,
Jim Morton
January 19th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Hi John and Heidi! We just got back from the Miracle on Friday, so besides trying to catch up on here, we are dealing with a frozen water pipe that burst and has left us with no shower or flushing toilet. What a mess!
As far as the shops on board, I was really disappointed this time. There was nothing I was interested in or afford that wasn’t junk. I was looking forward to the charms of the ship, and all they had were the little cheap $2.99 ones. There were always boxes blocking the aisles so that you couldn’t get around and the selection of shirts or sweatshirts was very limited in sizes and way over priced. Most of the employees were too busy to help and I walked out more than once because no one was available to assist me. Even when they weren’t super busy, they weren’t friendly.
Also, I wanted to let you know that sadly there was absolutely nothing done on the Miracle for the national football championship game. I know you had said Brent had something special planned but to the best of my knowledge, it didn’t happen. I searched the Capers and the lounges and although the game was being shown in the sports bar, that was it. No party atmosphere anywhere. I know some folks were pretty disappointed.
For the most part, the crew was fantastic and seemed like a happy lot…many going above and beyond to make sure things were great for the passengers.
I do hope you are able to read these comments even though they are running a little behind. As always, my best to you, Heidi and Thingy!
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