Monday, January 12th, 2009...4:41 pm
Toilet Humor
Oh bugger………it’s my last week at home and in a moment of weakness I asked Heidi if there was anything special she would like to do before I bugger off back to work. I realized as soon as I had asked the question that I was going to be in trouble and hoped I would get away with something like a romantic dinner at an overpriced restaurant that serves bits of food stacked on top of each other and with a sauce that is drizzled. This would have been OK….but unfortunately it’s much much worse………… because ………she wants to go and see a musical……..and not just any musical……………she wants to see…….The Sound of Music at the London Palladium………please give me a few minutes to projectile vomit into a bucket.
OK, I am back.
If you have just started in a relationship and are trying to make an impression that will lead to rumpy pumpy then by all means go to a musical, otherwise, let’s be honest, most men have a genetic hatred of the things.
Cats, Miss Saigon, Phantom, etc………….just typing those names makes my hemorrhoids flare up. Musicals, in my opinion, have less plot than a Steven Seagal straight to DVD movie. They last for days and have bugger all explosions. If only some computer nerd would invent a pair of contact lenses that men can put on just as the nun comes mincing over the hill because it’s alive with the sound of music. These contact lenses would look like we are watching the singing nun when actually we are watching Tony Soprano whack Big Pussy on his yacht.
Musicals are one of the differences that separate men and women……….another, of course, is the toilet.
Now, please don’t worry , I am not going to go into details about my number twos or mention the fact that yesterday I managed to poo the letter “S”………….nope, that would be disgusting and some of you may be having your lunch or dinner so I won’t mention it.
Men though are programmed to enjoy quality time in the toilet. I like to think of it as my own library or gentlemen’s club. There has to be something to read. Not those magazines my wife reads like Woman and Home. Home and Garden. Garden and Hair. Hair and Beauty. Beauty and Slimming. Slimming and Slimmers. Slim Women. Slim Home. Slim Garden. Slim Hair…………..none of that rubbish………….nope, I like a newspaper which in case of emergencies can be used as toilet paper of course. So, with newspaper in hand I lock the door and escape into the luxury of my Gentlemen’s Club which I have called “Browns.”
Locking the door drives Heidi crazy and often she comes by, rattles the door and shouts “Why is the door locked?” followed by “What are you doing in there?” Why do women ask these questions, I mean what is it they think we are doing in there?
One thing I could be doing if I forgot to take my newspaper in with me is count the number of bathroom products Heidi has in the cabinets or that are festooned around the bathroom. My stuff which is deodorant, shaving cream, soap and my nose hair scissors are kept away from her products in case they contaminate them in anyway. Except, of course, my razorblades which Heidi will use on her legs and not tell me so the next time I have a shave the blade has half a Brazilian forest in it and I end up cutting myself badly.
My shampoo is shampoo……nothing else……….just plain old shampoo.
That’s one bottle……..not four or five……….just one. Heidi has shampoo, conditioner, strengthening conditioner, shampoo for when she has just done her highlights and a vitamin enriched something or other by a company called Bed Head who seem to think its ok to charge $899 for a bottle of shampoo…….what a load of bollocks. Who ever discovered this must be a millionaire and laughing his arse off that women are buying this thinking its extract is taken from the rare Ubaguba plant that is found only in the depths of the Amazon ………when it is in fact Head and Shoulders with a bit of lemon in it.
Anyway……….it is my last week and of course the packing has to begin for my two months or so away from Heidi. I am actually feeling lots of mixed emotion. I want to go back to work………desperately I do……….but of course I am nervous about leaving Heidi. I know she has a great support system around her with my family and friends and her Mum coming to stay for a week or seven………..but I do feel guilty all the same.
However, I have a job to do and one that Heidi totally understands and supports and, of course, it is a job that I love. I am sure there will be more thoughts about this in later blogs this week. Of course, on the 14th Heidi has the amino test which she is very nervous about and I definitely made the right decision to be here with her for that.
I want to thank you all for your comments about our onboard shops. I think you have given us a great insight into what you already enjoy and what you would like to see on the shelves in the future. It seems we must improve our logo quality, selection and above all sizes as well as coming up with some new merchandise. It was interesting to read that many of our repeat guests also do not like the “today only” sales as it appears you are aware that it may be ummmm………….on sale again at the end of the week. This blog is a great forum to discover what we can do to make your time onboard that much better and those comments will I promise be past up the line and acted upon.
So, let us move on to the next subject………….The Art Auctions.
These have remained popular onboard our ships and those of most other lines for some years now. The auctioneers take you into a world that some of us have never explored before, the fascinating world of art. However, does this continue to interest you? Do we have the art that people want to buy or should we move away from Peter Max and the gang and be looking more at giving you great bargains on signed memorabilia and autographed movie posters and photos? Have you attended the auctions during past cruises and will you go on your next voyage? Please let me know your thoughts on this…..your opinion once again will help shape your future onboard experience. Thanks in advance.
Now, make sure you catch up with James Cusick aboard the P&O ship Arcadia as they start their world cruise. They just arrived in Palma in Spain and how amazing that the passengers will be onboard for such a long time and get to visit many of the wonders of the world. James includes many photos of his adventures and his blog is brilliant …….well done mate. He can be found at www.bestblogsatsea.com
I also invite you to have a look at http://www.hollandamericablog.com……….HAL’s new blog site. As soon as you open the page you will see an amazing photo of the Ventura and the Eurodam……..bridge to bridge. It also includes reports from the Amsterdam and her call in Hong Kong and much more. It’s a great site and I am proud of Holland America and their continuing blog efforts.
It seems that our new commercials continue to cause passionate conversation ………… which, of course, is brilliant. As soon as I arrive in Miami I will be interviewing on video the star of our new commercials that will be broadcast very soon and that I know ……… will be something that all of you will enjoy. It’s been a long time since I posted any videos and photos and one of the things I look forward to in the coming weeks is posting the videos and photos of my new adventures. I also know that many of you enjoyed the behind the scenes footage of my friends in our Miami office including those who never usually get any recognition. So, there is lots to look forward to……….oh and the Miami Heat are playing the Boston Celtics …………….yipeeee.
This morning the news showed lots of clips from last night’s Golden Globes where brilliant actors and actresses and Tom Cruise gather to see if they have won an award. There’s a moment in all award ceremonies when the nominations have been read out and Leonardo De Crapio and friends are sitting there waiting to find out whether they have won or lost. I can imagine that should you ever find yourself in this spot, it would be best to think only about what face you’re going to pull when the envelope has been opened and the winner has been revealed.
Someone obviously forgot to tell Angelina Jolie this because when they announced that Kate Winslett had one the best supporting person in a bra award or something like that …………Angelina looked like she had just sat on cactus.
Anyway, the reason I mention this is because one of the winners of a globe thing was a low budget film called “Slumdog Millionaire.” I just saw this movie and even though there are no explosions or car chases, it is something very special. It tells the story of a young Indian kid from the slums of Mumbai who wins the Indian version of Who Wants to be A Millionaire. You have to see this movie……..it is absolutely brilliant.
The press here in the UK are awash with articles and comment about Mr. Obama and how he is going to save the world. I noticed today that he has said he is going to close down Guantanamo Bay……….bloody hell…………..the credit crunch must really be bad if terrorists are losing their homes.
I actually have a photo on my laptop dancer computer. It is of Barack Obama, in a baseball cap, jogging bottoms and running shoes. This picture is not there for political reasons but to remind me that if the President-Elect can manage 45 minutes in the gym six days a week, then I am not too busy to hit the treadmill, quit smoking and get fit. …… although I prefer the French Prime Minister’s exercise regime of having rumpy pumpy with Carla Bruni every day.
Last night we attended the charity auction at a posh hotel in London. Heidi looked magnificent and, of course, with the Thingy showing attracted lots of attention. One man came over and without even saying a word to me, rubbed her belly up and down …………. he is currently in hospital eating his dinner through a straw.
While Heidi shone I was dressed in my tuxedo which made me look like one of the waiters …….but this was for charity and the £150 a head steak I paid for was going to a wonderful cause.
I don’t get to go to London that much and the last two times I have been I have noticed how much it has changed. Don’t get me wrong it is still the most fascinating city in the world ………but there are people and places that I just do not recognize anymore.
The policemen have replaced their iconic helmets and cheery demeanor with body armour and Heckler and Koch sub-machineguns, the pubs have been replaced by Starbucks and Micky D’s, no one is allowed to feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square and the absolute last language you will hear spoken on any London street is English.
London is now further away from its image than any other city in the world. The postcards still paint a picture of the day when men went to work in a bowler hat while the women stayed at home pressing wild flowers and getting the dinner and slippers ready.
The reality is a city where tourists are greeted at reception by a Latvian and shown to their room by someone from Poland. They want Spotted Dick and cups of tea, and we give them Polish goulash and a frappcrapaamocacino. Coming to London now is a bit like tuning in to BBC America to watch the BBC News to find it’s being read by Paris Hilton…….. in a lime green thong
I also noticed on my trip to London this weekend that the Houses of Parliament have now been encased in a “ring of steel” to protect them from those with their ticking backpacks. Outside, the entire building has been ringed with an electric fence, but you can bet that the Health and Safety chaps will ensure it does not carry death-dealing 8 million volts.
Nope, it does not and while a lower, less lethal voltage may deter people with beards complaining about my Range Rover hurting the icebergs and polar bears from breaking in, I doubt a “slight tingle” would be much of an obstacle for someone who’s spent the past three years in a cave dodging the 101st Airborne. The intelligence services are said to be worried about someone driving a car bomb into the Big Ben clock tower, which could then fall over, landing 150 tons of Big Ben on Gordon Brown, our prime minister.
But then our spies were worried about Iraq having nuclear weapons, so we can take these concerns with a huge dollop of salt. And anyway, if Mr Brown has to spend the next few years trapped inside a gigantic brass bell, it wouldn’t really be the end of the world ……… would it?
Anyway, joking aside I understand that the Houses of Parliament must be protected but I have one other observation. This set of buildings are some of the most famous and photographed in the world, a position it may well lose if we continue to decorate it with anti-aircraft guns, mines and concrete mantraps.
Now I know money is tight in the credit crunch world of today. But……….Could Joe Farcus be employed to design fencing which blends the traditional lines of Sir Charles Barry’s building with the Spectacular Theatre on the Carnival Splendor? And instead of a boom trailing out into the middle of the Thames, why not build an elaborate Lido Deck ……with a pool and, of course, a huge steel retractable roof……..now that would be secure. Joe………get your pencils out………..the British Government has a job for you.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and The Thingy
63 Comments
January 12th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Ohhh, I totally agree with you on musicals. What a menace to men everywhere!
My vote on the art auctions is that I don’t do the art auctions. I admit I don’t understand them. What are they auctioning off? Original artwork? If so, how?
Jeff
January 12th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Hello John,
Love the new Holland website. I saw Eurodam pull out last weekend along with splendor, Roterdam, Freedom, Ruby, Grand, %^&*@#%$^ of the seas, Celebrity *#$%@!%^, and some more ships. I wrote on my blog yesterday a post that explains clearly about my future, along with some bridge photos, and it’s just somthing worth viewing. If you like hit the link ovef to my site, and tell me what you think.
from, Jake S.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I know that many people must enjoy the Art Auctions but I would never spend money on any of the supposed pieces of art that I have seen on cruise ships. There is considerable skepticism about the authenticity of many of the paintings and most of what I have seen looks remarkably tacky. Surely there is a better use of the space and time devoted to the “art auction” but I realize that these produce revenue for the cruise line or they would not continue to show up on cruises.
January 12th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Heidi, enjoy the musical and think of me. The Sound of Music is my all time favorite. If I have watched the movie once I’ve watched it 20 times. I have a portion of it taped on our DVR. I didn’t know it was on so didn’t get it taped in the entirity.
If I were there you and I would go see it and Don and John could watch a ballgame……. (if you’ve seen one game you’ve seen them all, just different teams in different uniforms……… boring)
We’ll be thinking of you as you get the test done the 14th.
Countess Carolyn and Don
January 12th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Good Afternoon John,
My thoughts are with you and Heidi as she goes through the amnio”thing”. I am sure all will be fine.
I, for some reason, couldn’t post yesterday (my problem not the blog’s) so here are my comments about the shops….I love them! I usually buy a sweatshirt or zippered hoodie. If the shops have loose gems I try to buy one to take home to be set. I would like to see more items commemorating the ship and ports. Now on to art auctions…never been to one but I would at least give it a second look for signed art, posters, etc. Carnival does a wonderful job providing exceptional choices for the cruisers it’s hard to say you need to do this or that:)
You, Heidi and “Thingy” take care. Enjoy the musical :O
Joan
January 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I was going to check out the art auction the last 2 cruises, but the lines where incredible, guess they are popular, only lines I saw that were longer on the cruises was debarkation. Will check again in 41 days, but way too much to enjoy rather than wait in line.
Cheers
Ron(41 days till Legend cruise)RN
January 12th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
John,
As always, thanks for asking for our input. As for Art Auctions…I used to go all the time. I even purchased some stuff. I only bought what I liked, never bought stuff as an investment. I would still go, but I’ve bought enough and really don’t have the space for anything more even though the auctioneers onboard always say you could rotate your art. I don’t like it that much.
I will tell you that I’ve been on ships that have Park West and then sailed when Carnival was doing their own thing. I am very glad that Park West is back. However, Big Ed just shared an article about how Park West is being sued by some folks who claim they were sold fakes. Guess I’m glad I was buying stuff that looked pretty and not spending lots of money on the masters if, in fact, this turns out to be true.
I do love Peter Max…he’s one of my favorites, but the memorabilia is fun to look at as well. Think it would be nice to mix it up with some of the traditional stuff and some of the newer stuff.
Hope this is of help to you.
Best of luck to Heidi as she prepares for her amnio…I’m sure everything will turn out just fine. A lot of times the anxiety leading up to these procedures are worse than the actual procedure. I’ll keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.
Lisa
January 12th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
John,
Great blog as usual today!
I am hearing so many great things about Slumdog Millionaire.. that I said, Ok, I think I should see it. But now that it has a recommendation from YOU – its a must! (Did you know that you are now Roger Ebert?)
Also.. speaking about well.. umm… the toilet….. Have you heard of the Book Series “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader”? I just discovered these, and they should be a requirement for all men. At least they can leave the “resting place” full of new knowledge and useless trivia facts and fun.
Catrin
January 12th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Peter Maxx items at the art auctions should be augmented by low-cost memorabilia. Sports/entertainment/cruise related.
Maybe even a few autographed photos of John Heald…
January 12th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Hi John
With regards to the Art Auction I believe one attends it the first cruise to see what it’s all about, but after that there are better things to do with one’s time on board. If I were to buy art, then I would do so at a local art gallery since I don’t have to pay the shipping charges!! You can find some of the same artists at home as on board.
Well that’s me on the art watch!!!
I can see that you are chaffing at the bit to get back to work but agree that right now the time is to be with Heidi and Thingy.
Take care and keep blogging.
Eva
January 12th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I can just picture you when that man rubbed Heidi’s belly – like rubbing a budha for luck! HA! I hope that man moved away quickly so you didn’t get a chance to knock his lights out. So, are you gonna take Heidi to see The Sound of Music? It is a wonderful musical, my favorite though is South Pacific, especially when the girl sings, I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair! I myself am not much for Art Auctions, but if they had statues of Angels or pictures of Angels that might interest me, to be honest I have never attended one of the auctions. My brother just got back from a cruise on the Destiny. He says they have the big screen tv now on the Lido deck, he was on the Simple Man cruise, with Lynard Skynard and other bands performing, it was a 4 day cruise. He did say though that the food was not up to par, and the staterooms need refurbishing. Do you know if they are gonna refurbish any more of the older ships? We were on the Destiny in 1999, so if I remember correctly the Destiny’s inaugural cruise was in 1996?? It is probably due for a undate. Well, looking forward to seeing you on 1/25, until then have fun packing and bon voyage on your trip back to the U.S. Can’t wait to see the NEW Carnival commercial! Hi to Heidi, so glad her mom will be with her for awhile. Too bad you won’t be spending your birthday with Heidi, but we’ll throw you a party when we meet on the Valor, ok? Paul and Bee and their spouses are looking forward to the get together too. Linda & Mike
January 12th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
john i don’t go to the art auctions but i read on cruise critic all the time how to go there and get free champagne and leave so that’s the general consensus i believe. anyway they don’t bother me so i don’t care one way or the other. personally i LOVE the trivia and most people find that boring enough to put your hair to sleep. to each his own! see you soon!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
January 12th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Hi John, OK you asked my opinion. Dave will tell you “Don’t ask what I think unless you really want to know”. I have this nasty habit of saying what I really think. I think the art auctions are a pain in the butt and a rip off. I don’t think Peter Max painted all those pictures. Not completely anyway. I think his employees help. I wonder if people have had their purchases appraised and if they were really worth what they paid. Just my 2 cents worth.
Jo
January 12th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Art auctions… I enjoy the free champagne!!
There are SO many splendid works of art adorning the ships of Carnival that it surprises me that there are more reproductions of them in the auctions. I marveled at the art on the Splendor but can’t recall a single piece of it being represented at the auction.
Personally, I LOVE pointillist art and I can’t recall seeing any of that, either.
I would go to see a musical… if someone held a gun to my head… a BIG gun… Sorry, John… do it for love!!
How sad that the London that I love is no more… I recall wandering into a pub and the only foreign language I heard was Welsh…
I think it’s wonderful that you’re going to highlight some more of the behind the scenes folks. Perhaps you could work with the great folks over at Guest Relations and spotlight someone on board a Carnival ship that has gotten exemplary comments or something to that effect! I KNOW that we all have favorite members of the staff and crew have gone above and beyond to make our voyage special.
Please pass along my ‘howdies’ to Heidi and the Thingy!!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
January 12th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
First this…. (since you dissed The Sound of Music
)
The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears
…
I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I’ve heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I’ll sing once more
The nuns in the convent could have used some of this new fangled high tech security hardware to help protect the Von Trapp family ….
Perhaps Joe Farcus can integrate Transformer like technology into his security design. Functional, yet beautiful, architectural design elements for public buildings that can quickly convert to intimidating and vigorous protection systems. (queue voice of Optimus Prime)
Hiding in plain sight, but watching in secret, waiting, protecting. We are here. We are waiting.
This type of stuff could lead to Skynet….that may implicate Mr. Farcus in the ultimate machine takeover of the world. Yikes!
Transformers and Terminators and Cylons running rampant…Oh my!!!
Which leads to yet another…
I’m not a robot without emotions, I’m not what you see,
I’ve come to help you with your problems so we can be free,
I’m not a hero, I’m not a savior, forget what you know,
I’m just a man who’s circumstances went beyond his control,
The problem’s plain to see
Too much technology
Machines to save our lives
The Flying (more than meets the eye) Dutchman
January 12th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Hi John!
Happy Monday and good luck with Wednesday’s test.
Love the art auctions and think variety is great. As a young person, I would love to see more framed autographed posters/cells/panoramics, etc. Sports related works too.
That could be an interesting job for Joe or other architects trying to maintain the beauty of historic buildings.
Loved your bathroom products situation. My 3 items are lost amongst my wife’s 10,000 products.
Good luck packing and looking forward to more stories/videos/etc.
Take care!
David
January 12th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Art Auctions – Glad you asked……
We attended several over a number of cruises
but don’t remember if we ever purchased anything or not. We used to buy stuff by REAL LOCAL artists in many parts sof the world but only whatr we liked and seldom as an investment.
We have so many original pieces that our walls are full and they sit in stacks where we change them out occasionally. We have more then enough and don’t want anymore paintings. I have often wondered how many of what we see on ships are REALLY original masters or are they copies of orginal masters. Park West and other such companies take up too mush room, time and space on the ships. It all comes down to the bottom line regardless of the paying customers. The space could better serve on board guests if they were not on board hawking their goods trying to get the money from my pocket. Carnivsal must find them to be worthwhile to the bottom line to allow them to do their thing and be aboard all the cruise ships. I no longer have any interest and would rather find a local piece in a little shop in some small town.
January 12th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Hey John…
Susan and I have attended the auctions almost every cruise. We have purchased quite a few Peter Max’s and a Salvador Dali. Each of our GrandKids will receive a Peter Max when we kick the bucket….for now we get to enjoy them! I must admit the last couple of times we have not purchased but consumed a lot of the bubbly! The best buys are what are called Take-Offs and until you guys come up with a way to pack and ship them we will continue to miss those! On one cruise they also held several informative sessions to just discuss different artists. We really enjoyed them.
John & Susan in Frisco, Tx
January 12th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Dear John & Heidi,
The Art Auction is great for going and looking at (Sort of like a museum at sea). But on my meager salary I can not afford a Peter Max or any of the great artist that are on display there. I did enjoy looking at them but, if you and Carnival are looking for a way too generate more income from sales to the poor middle class blokes like me that spend most of their money just to get on these boats, you will have to come up with another idea. Autographed memorabilia is something that alot of sports minded people would part with their money for, but then they run the risk of having OJ hunting them down. Best wishes to you both on the up coming birth of your first born. By the way are you going to call him Blogger?
Stay true to yourself and stay away from musicals as they are only for women and gay men.
Jim & Nancy
January 12th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
hi john
art auctions are boring
they need free beer,,,,and more NUDES
tom
of Tom & Jane
January 12th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
You made the right choice in staying with Heidi . Its a very important test. All will go well I am sure. The rest of the week will go by very fast and before you know it you will be back home , changing diapers and talking about your child like you were the first ones who ever had a child , you will be wondering a year from now , what ever did we do before me made this child, Its true you will think you are a god. Mind you stay far away from heidi when she is getting ready to deliver because then you will be mud , and told just what she thinks of you . Do not take it to heart because eventually she will forgive you for causing all the pain and tremendously long labour pains . it is a good thing you are away working for the next while cause as she goes through the changes she will certainly be blaming you for her need to pee all hours of the night , the fact that her clothes are tight and that nothing fits properly .
well hope you have fun packing , we will be waiting for the info fromthe high seas.
As for the art auctions , we did enjoy them and in particular enjoy the chance to see art we would otherwise have to go to a gallery in Paris , London or NewYork to see. We have been fortunate to take home some prints for attending the Auctions and although could never purchase , we have a far greater appreciation for the art shown on board. The art is exceptional and really does make a difference to many collectors who seemed to be purchasing many pieces. In my old age we may be able to purchase art. In particular the art of the newer artists really was nice to see. Not only are the art auctions interesting it is educational.
They should be kept up , maybe include more things from the sports world – signed ball cards , hockey ect. There are many collectors of sports and maybe a few more guys would attend the auctions with the wife.
have a great day .
January 12th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hello John and Heidi
You asked me to write about our recent trip on the Carnival Fascination out of Jacksonville on the 1st of January 2009. Let me begin with embarkation. We arrived at about 12 noon. Every single employee was friendly, courteous and helpful. Trying to check in your baggage was a little confusing but it didn’t take to long before I figured it out. Then through security which my husband hates only because he has to empty everything out of his pockets like pocket knives, clippers, change and car keys into my purse. He also has to take off his belt because he wears them with big Texas buckles that like to set the machines off. You would think that since this is our 9th trip with Carnival he would have learned but no he’s a man.
Once inside it took about 30 minutes total before we were on board enjoy the Coconut Grove for lunch. The rooms are very nice now, since the makeover. I no longer have to crawl over the bed to get to my side because that corner table is gone, Yeah! And I really like what they have done with the bathrooms. The ship is very nice, clean and we enjoyed it very much.
I’m sorry that Travis was not on the ship but Jacques was very good as were all the other entertainment staff. Everyone seemed to have a lot of energy and the shows were great.
But my biggest complements (and extra $s) must go to the dinning room staff. We were early seating in the Imagination dinning room. Ben and his assistant (table 281) were so outstanding that by the second night my husband who likes coffee with his meal had it before the bread was served and my water glass was always filled. They were very attentive and made sure that we were all satisfied every night. Being a smaller ship I was concerned about the service but I have no fears anymore. The quality of the food has improved over the last year, which everyone at our table was happy about. We will definitely be cruising on this ship again when we want a quick getaway, and all of our table mates feel the same way.
Debarkation on this ship was very smooth, but Jacques needs to make more announcements to keep everyone informed as to the progress. That was the only thing I heard other passengers grumble about. I was in no hurry to get off.
Our next cruise is number 10 on the Glory, February 28, 2009. I am soooo excited because we will be taking some friends who have never cruised before. Plus we will be celebrating my husbands 70th.
47 days and counting.
Sending my Love
Cruising Grandma
And it is Carolann (all one word). Sometimes I capitalize the second A for fun.
Heidi – Be sure and rest as much as possible for the next 4 months because after you won’t be able to.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
By the way that guy behind you in the add is kind of got that creeper look, my daughter thinks he should have been phot shopped out of the pic. She says its like he is one of those guys in the X files- you know , dark sun glasses watching but not really supposed to have been caught .
just a thought .
January 12th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Ok John, here goes my MANHOOD but there are many musicals that i do like to watch, my favorite would be a Chorus line.. i have seen it on and off brodway and i have the dvd of the movie as well. i might suggest a MANLY musical that you will enjoy,, Paint your Wagon ,,to see Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwod sing is a trip yes its a western setting but it is a musical.
In any case best wishes to Heidi tomorrow and tell her not to be scared that you will be right with her. (i suggest that you take a 2×4 peice of lumber to help hold you up during the procedure) lol
take care my Friend
Bill n Cindy
January 12th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Wicked. Momma Mia. Phantom – seen ‘em all, would rather go again than to see most movies. Theater has such talent, most movies are trite and/or stupid. Wasted my money on Marley and Me. Bond is improbable. You are good though!!!
As far as shopping goes, I look for memorabilia. Not expensive stuff like jewelry or liquor, but coffee mugs with the ship name. Got the Spirit but no other. Shops for me should be fun, discovery times of affordable things. But I am an old fuddy duddy now and don’t do much shopping.
Mary and I send our best to Heidi and “thingy.”
January 12th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Of everything we do and love on the cruises, art auctions are at the bottom! We went our first two cruises, enjoyed the champagne, and were bored out of our skulls!!! I know there are those who enjoy them….not us! Wouldn’t miss them if they were gone!
January 12th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Good evening John. I do hope that you knocked that guy for a loop when he placed his hand on your wife’s tummy. I would have asked first if that would be all right, but never just di it.
The Sound of Music is the worst movie, musical in the world. It just make want to vomit. Everytime I happen to hear a song from the show it drives me up the wall. Now the Phantom of the Opera, I just enjoyed it so much. I saw it 5 times on a live musical and once on the show. It’s the same I did for The Godfather. I saw that one 5 times on the show, once in Italian. Now that was real when they spoke in their language tongue.
Art Auctions aren’t for me so I never go.
How about what I said yesterday about the photograph taken with the Captain. I still think that would be a hit for the visitors onboard. I would love to have a photo taken with the Captain as a remembrance of by cruise.
I have 12 days left until my cruise. I do hope that this time I will have the opportunity of meeting you. We will see.
Heidi, I glad your Mum will be spending time with you and of course John’s parents are there to assist at any time I’m sure. Take care of yourself, don’t worry about anything and think of just happy thoughts of the day that you and John will have a beautiful, bouncing little boy or girl to smile, laugh and love.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
January 12th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Hi John,
Just take Heidi to the Sound of Music and enjoy the time spent with your beautiful wife, before you have to start paying a babysitter to have that special time alone. I have seen the sound of music many times, and would love to see it again. But, I know you men don’t enjoy that sort of thing, so just put up with it, and enjoy holding Heidi’s hand, while she enjoys the production.
As for the Art Auctions…. Carl and I enjoy them. Especially Carl, he goes to all the seminars and art auctions. I go to some of them. I collect Angels and fell in love with the work of Thomasz Rut. Carl has now bought me 11 pieces that I truly love. And they have all come from our Carnival cruises. We have collected a few other pieces by various artists as well.
The shops are great! I try to make my rounds through them a couple of times a day. We also collect the model ships. We have one from each ship we have sailed on.
Tell Heidi to relax, all is going to be fine with the Amnio and the sweet little Thingy. And in a few months you two will have a beautiful, healthy and very much loved baby to hold in your arms.
Big Hugs!
Princess Barb
PS…. Hello to Alan and his family, sorry we won’t get to meet them in NOLA.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
John, I can honestly say I’ve never walked into the bathroom at home carrying something in my hands to read. I’m a get in and get out type of guy. I think I got in the habit many years ago. You learned to take a deep breath before you went into the outhouse and had to finish and get out before you needed your next breath. Plus why would anyone want to sit on a hard toilet seat and read when you have “YOUR” comfy chair to sit in and read.
BIG ED
January 12th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Hi John,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Heidi as she goes for her test.
Art Auctions……for me I just dont get it why people would spend big money for a “reprint”. The space and time could be better used for others things. Like a class on local languages and customs.
Dave
January 12th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Sorry John, but we LOVE! MUSICALS! but not as much as we love Carnival Cruises of course. Looking forward to seeing everyone on the Bloggers’ Cruise next month. Suggestion for Cozemel: it’s a very LONG walk from the ship to the new shopping area. We’ve both had a bad year with arthritis and was wondering why there can’t be golf carts available for those young at heart but not able to walk long distances easily. I’m sure a lot of people would be willing to pay a few dollars to get from the gangplank to the shopping center.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
John,
We went to the auction on our first cruise, the free champagne was nice. Nothing at the auction really appealed to us and honestly the items were too expensive. We have not gone back to an auction on any of our other cruises. As Eva said there are definitely better things to do on the ship. Why be inside when you can be sitting out on the deck sipping a DOD and watching the kids play in the pool!
One idea for the auction is to have a session that features artists from the islands that will be visited. Something that makes the on-board auction unique like Batik prints from St Kitts or sketches from the Yoda Guy in St Maarten. The islands must be full of talented artists with unique and affordable art.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Sorry you didn’t have my full attention tonight as it was the 2nd night of two hour 24 and I can’t stand not to see Jack Bauer!
I do hope you had a good time with Heidi or at least pretended to and I will be sending good thoughts her way for the 14th.
Art auctions…….well, I’ve only been to two of them and neither really had anything that interested me. Diversity would be nice with some photographs, posters etc. but as it is now, I wouldn’t go again. I am not an art buff and don’t claim to know a lot about it but just know when I see something I like. To me, it appeared that from one cruise to the next it looked the same or was the same type maybe a better word. That’s it.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Host Mach:
Since you like pointalism, check out my husband’s work at:
http://www.scottbushnell.com/Media/Inkwell/images/
He has prints if you’re interested in buying!
John:
Welcome to the “global community” where every city looks and feels just like every other city, and we’re all “citizens of the world.” Gag me with a spoon! I didn’t visit London to go to Mickey D’s, just like you don’t expect to come here and see double decker buses or cute little black taxis. I hate that everything and everybody is becoming “the same”! The world has gone mad…or madder. Arrrrrgh!
Would love to have seen you in your tux punching out the guy who rubbed Heidi’s tummy. (I know you didn’t really, but the image tickles me just the same.)
I want to see Slumdog Millionaire, but since it is (I think) subtitled, have decided to wait and buy the DVD so I can watch it at my own speed. It sounds like a great film. May I recommend Clint Eastwood’s latest, Gran Torino? It is very funny, very poignant, and I think you’ll like it.
My best to you, Heidi and Thingy Desk,
Your Pal, Myra
January 13th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Dear John: The art auctions are not our cup of tea, but the free champagne is nice. Most pieces that I liked were too expensive for my budget and I too would rather buy from a local shop that I know.
Just my opinion.
Love to Heidi & Thingy, Mary Lou
January 13th, 2009 at 12:24 am
John, take Heidi to that musical, after all, she will be doing all that packing for you!
Art Auctions? Never been to one, probably won’t attend. But I do enjoy looking at the art on display in the hallway between auctions. If you took it off the ships, I wouldn’t mind a bit.
I had that amnio test done, little more than 24 years ago, it let me know that my second daughter was on the way and very healthy. The worst part is waiting to get the results, but isn’t that the way with any medical test?
Looking forward to meeting you on Bloggers 2!!!!
Diane from Texas
January 13th, 2009 at 12:27 am
JOHN, PLEASE REPLY.
I am going on the Sensation, March 15/09 out of Port Canaveral. Could you please tell me who the CD is? Also is there any way I can get boiled water from the galley? I need it to mix with a powered solution for my sinuses, otherwise, I guess I will bring my kettle which is a pain in the a$$ to do.
Thanks so much,
Cindy
January 13th, 2009 at 12:52 am
You’re spot on about musicals and all that cruft women keep in the washroom. Shame my fiancée believes just the opposite.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Hi John,
Back 13 years ago I got a wonderful book as a birthday present.
It was something roughly entitled, “Farting” and was authored by “The” Benjamin Franklin of presidential & $5.00 bill fame.
If you can find it you will be doing a lot of the title as it is so funny.
Bill
January 13th, 2009 at 1:17 am
John,
We need to get you a eye-pod for the theater. We’ll talk. As far as the art auctions I never attend except for some free champagne if i’m in the right spot at the right time that is. I love art but i’ve heard to many stories and read too many things to see how it’s worth buying things on the ships like art once you add in the cost of shipping and framing and all buy it at home and your done. Not to mention with the credit crunch going on i don’t see too many people parting with the extra cash right now. Best to Heidi, when you can make a number 2 into the letter R then I will be impressed. Till 24 days form now have fun. See you then
Kevin
January 13th, 2009 at 1:28 am
Hi John,
Good Luck to Heidi with the test on the 14th.
As for the on board Art Auctions, I have no interest in them what so ever.
Looking forward to my 5 days on the Holiday at the end of this month.
Take Care,
Julie Gantt
January 13th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I REALLY dislike the art auctions on all ships. No way in a million years am I buying art on a cruise ship, where I am a captive audience and I have no way of checking whether its a steal or a rip-off. Also I mistrust all auctions as I assume I will end up paying more, not less. So I can just avoid them, right? No skin off my nose. Well no – because I invariable have to spend at least a week picking my way through one of the larger, more gorgeous spaces on any ship, which suddenly looks like a car-boot sale or IKEA warehouse for the duration of the display and auction, huge canvasses stacked and leaning everywhere, with the gaudy gilt frames which seem to be the norm, and piles of chairs surrounding the walls to make space for the art. The auctions seem to take up more space, time and ‘airplay’ than they warrant. Its not like the regular shops have to be massively promoted, and take over entire swathes of ship-space, so I automatically thing ‘why are they pushing this so hard? Obviously because its a gold-mine for them, and anything that’s a gold-mine for them, has to be bad for my bank balance!’. Now maybe it’s different for art connoisseurs, but I doubt it – since the more you know about art, the less likely you are to buy it on a cruise, surely?
January 13th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I don’t really enjoy the auctions on a cruise. I prefer to buy something from a local artist as a momento of my trip.
I do see alot of people in there but have never known anyone to buy anthing.
Welcome back to work!
Love and Best Wishes to you Heidi and Thingy!
January 13th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Hi John. We enjoy the art auctions for what they are: another activity we don’t get to do much of, at home. Like trivia contests, napkin- and towel-folding demonstrations, disco dancing class, and formal pictures in front of pretty backdrops.
The most expensive nap I ever took ended with the words, “I went to the art auction while you were asleep!” But DH has good taste, and now our kitchen has Fred and Wilma Flintstone on a cel, in formal wear, from Viva Rock Vegas or something like that.
The pieces we have bought remind us of our cruises. They’re not investments. Where are you ever going to sell them? They’re decorations for a particular space. Like any decoration, you pay what it’s worth to you for the beauty it brings.
We were introduced to the Michael Godard series on board and bought a second one a couple of years later. We laugh every time we see the boy and girl olives dancing with each other.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Best wishes for the test on the 14th. All will be well.
Regarding the art auctions: After 20 plus cruises we’ve never gone to one or had any interest in doing so. We prefer to view art in on shore galleries. It seems like a waste of great cruise time.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Please Reply:
First off, “S” shaped is a good thing. Everything is working right.
Its fun to look at the art, the champagne is a plus if you like it. For me there are better ways to spend that time.
On the musical topic. I just got word that Paul Macintosh will be the Piano Bar performer on the Valor for the Feb 22 sail date. I have tried looking up a site for him with no luck. Any information on him would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
January 13th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Hi John:
I can’t imagine anyone, stranger or not, walking up to a woman and laying hands on her. Is this a local thing?
Here we call it assault.
Regards.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I’m another one not interested in the art auctions. I don’t even like going to art museums. Even free champagne doesn’t tempt me to even look. It doesn’t bother me if other people like them. We just go somewhere else while they are going on.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
John-
I’m with the others on this.. get rid of the Art Auctions. We went to one, and will never go back. As Jane said a few posts ago, those that know art are not going to buy it on a cruise ship and those that don’t are not likely to spend the big bucks on something they know nothing about. Google on the Park West galleries and cruise ship auctions and you will see many people that found out they have ripped off. Personal I don’t understand why Carnival feels like that should be involved in this, it only gives them a bad name. I’m sure they are making plenty of money doing the auctions, which again sends up my warning flags.
The ship space and the time could be put to better use.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Hi John,
Please Reply.
I know this is not your area of expertise, but… I need help. We haven’t received our Currents magazine since Summer 2008, so we’re missing Fall and from the comments I’ve read on the blog recently it seems like there may be a Winter 2009 out also. I know that our subscription has not run out (we cruised 3 times in 2008-had a great time on the Carnival Splendor transatlantic and really enjoyed Jamie)!
I’ve called the customer service number listed and pressed 2 for brochures/DVD’s/subscriptions, but it just went to a reservations specialist. I’ve spoken to many people at phone numbers they believed would get me to Currents subscriptions, but none did. I really look forward to reading Currents and would like to get the Fall and Winter issues. Can you please find out the number for me to call? Numbers that don’t get me to subscriptions are: 1-888-225-4837, 1-800-929-6400, 1-800-227-6482, 1-800-327-7276, and 1-800-627-1912 (Current advertising-they couldn’t even get me in touch with subscriptions).
I appreciate any help you can give.
Also, do you know why Carnival isn’t doing the Cruise to Nowhere from Norfolk this June (we love them)?
We’ve never been to any art auctions (have done 13 Carnival cruises, with 3 more booked).
Lynn
January 13th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
John, Please Answer
Can you provide any pricing guidance on this South America excursion for those of us leaving Splendor in Santiago (Valpariso) ? QAlso, I am a little concerned when it lists that the tour will only be offered if enough people sign up for it.
http://www.carnival.com/ShoreExcursionDetails.aspx?region=S&portcode=VAP&excursionname=Santiago+City+Tour+Ship-Airport+W+TFR&excursioncode=350015
I know Carnival wants $60 for just the ship-airport transfer.
——
Anyway, see you on the Blogger’s cruise prior to my South America adventure!
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/Blog_2009/index.htm
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/splendor_09/index.htm
Regards,
bill
John, Please Answer
January 13th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
John,
You inspired me. I’m currently working on writing the John, Heidi and the Thingy Musical. It’s destined to be a classic.
On the toilet thing… get smart. Put a DVD player in the toilet, and watch episodes of 24. The action and theme music is perfectly suited to #2s.
On the subject of Art Auctions… I prefer #2s, even if straining is necessary.
Regards,
Kuki
CruiseMates.com
January 13th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Hi John & Heidi,
Maybe you’ll think this is strange, but the men in my family have always gone to see musicals on Broadway, even before I was born. My parents took me to my first B’way show when I was about 10 yrs. old. My father even went to the ballet and they truly loved opera (that’s where I say no). We always went to movie musicals too – when you needed a ticket for reserved seats – many moons ago.
Now for the Art Auction – that’s one thing I don’t do. The artwork is beautiful, but since I have my needlepoint art work all through my apartment, there’s no room for any more art.
Good luck Heidi with the Amnio. I’m sure everything will be fine.
Hugs,
Carol
January 13th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
In reference to the onboard art auctions……
No thanks….not my thing.
I went once to grab a free glass of champagne, looked around the “gallery”, and entered my twickets [sic] for some free drawing or another. However I cannot envision ever purchasing these works of art from the ship.
Art has form and beauty ….Art has a special duty
It expresses things that we might not otherwise know how to say,
Oh I do miss the souvenier art in the form of ship placemats that used to be given away. Perhaps making those available at the art gallery would get more people there
The Flying Dutchman
January 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Hi John & Heidi
Good luck to for tomorrow, will be thinking of you both.
All booked on the Dream 15 Oct, it was just an opportunity i could not miss, never know when we will get over to america again. Decided to take my son out of school for 7 days, although the school not happy about it as it will be his final year, i am sure missing a couple of english and maths lessons want be a problem, I have warned him there probably want be any other teenagers on board and he seems quite happy that he will have the waterslide etc all to himself! Thanks for your help and Stephanie’s, but there is a problem with uk booking site.
Enjoy your last few days here, have a safe journey and will be thinking of you both tomorrow.
Michellex
January 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
John:
Art to me is like wine.
I don’t understand it….but I know what I like…and so… I buy what I like.
I have never purchased art from Park West. The few pieces of art that we have are pieces we have owned for over 15 years by lessor known artists Paula Vaughn and Terry Redlin.
Both of these pieces were pictures that reminded me of my childhood and I love them.
Sorry to hear you must endure a musical. But you are sweet to treat Heidi to something she loves.
My oldest son Josh had pulled me kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. I now have a Facebook page. Not sure exactly what to do with it…but it should be fun.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
January 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I am one of those who really don’t care to go to the art auctions. If I was in the market for art, I’d go to a local gallery and get something I really love. I hate the way the art is strewn all over the main deck and people have to fall over it or dodge it to get by. If I want to waste money, I’ll go to the casino – much more fun. But I do like the souvenirs and t-shirts, etc.
And as for Sound of Music. Being a former actress, that show was my first on a semi-professional stage, so I have a particular fondness for it. I performed it three different times in different theaters. Many men were in the audience and seemed to really enjoy the performances. But actor kids and their stage parents – yuck. I was also a performer on quite a few other musicals (Carousel, Unsinkable Molly Brown, Can-Can, Brigadoon, Oliver, etc., etc.) as well as straight acting in comedies. I loved being in the shows, but those days are over, darn. I am so glad I had those experiences. I was also stage manager and usher at several different theaters so got to see most of the musicals – loved most and hated some (Wicked). Just my thing.
Saw Curious Case of Benjamin Button – loved it!! Also the movie with Angelina – fabulous. Can’t wait to see the Slumdog Millionaire.
Love your blog. Keep them coming.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
John:
)
You are so right about the musicals. There is no way my hubby would ever go see one with me. That’s what we have girls’ nights out for
I checked out the art auction on Valor, but everything was a bit above my price range there.
John please reply:
I will be booking European cruise on DREAM (can you belive that???) soon. I’m so excited! My questions is: If I book the one on 10/3 and my graduation (target date 9/21) gets postponed for any reason, can I re-book the cruise to one on 10/15 without loosing any money?
January 13th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Hey John,
If we could afford the art then we would be cruising on our own personal yacht or maybe the Radisson or the Seabourne.. Find another something to sell that is more affordable..
Thanks,
Donna D.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
John,
We have attended almost every art auction on every cruise. We appreciate the mini museums and lessons learned and have made many purchases. We have since been attending the land auctions put on by the same gallery, Park West. This procludes our purchases on the ship for at the land auctions we walk out the door with a framed piece of art. No shipping and no waiting. It’s a shame that some folks think that having the artwork framed by the gallery is expensive, when in fact it is quite reasonable compared to a local vendor. I do believe that memorabilia has never sold well at the auctions and probably never will. I don’t believe you can seperate the two. Each is a niche market. I would not attend a memorabilia auction but if they sell memorabilia during an art auction I am entertained. I do believe that Park West Gallery is the best. We have experienced others and their selection, prices, and service are tops.
January 13th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
We have attended several art auctions during our 7 cruise history with Carnival. We have even purchased some art, in this instance, that was sold fairly cheap.
Our observations have been that it isnt really an auction. The auctioner suggests a price and then sells the paintings at that price. I do understand you cant give stuff away, but most of the starting bids are way out of our price range. We would like to see more moderately priced items.
I do not think it is a good idea to sell memoribilia at an art auction.
Art on the ship should be purchased because you like it. I do not believe it is an investment in this case because I do doubt sometimes if the artwork is really original.
I enjoy looking at the art; my husband enjoys a nap while at the art auctions.
January 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
John,
Love the art auctions! My favorite artist is Michael Godard and have bought several of his pieces on previous Carnival cruises. Went to Europe in 06 and 07 and was disappointed that Park West did not carry any Godards. If you carry them, I will buy!
February 4th, 2009 at 3:21 am
I am glad I came across your blog.
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