Being a simple and relatively poor cruise director, I do not get to dine at ritzy, champagne-drenched, Michelin-starred exotic restaurants in sun-kissed, faraway places. Once, while preparing the European ports for the Carnival Liberty’s inaugural season I took Heidi to a “poncy” (www.urbandictionary.com) five-star place in Monte Carlo …………and I hated it.
The Hotel De something or other was full of women who looked like prostitutes and they were in the company of greasy little men who learned their English from baddies in James Bond films and who meet in bars at night to sell one another machine guns. The staff looked at us and after realizing we weren’t members of the machine gun club or anyone famous, they treated us with distain and total and utter rudeness. The only time our waiter smiled was when he gave us the bill……I truly believe he thought that I wouldn’t be able to afford it and that my arse would soon be either doing the washing up or getting a beating from one of the greasy men.
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