Being a simple and relatively poor cruise director, I do not get to dine at ritzy, champagne-drenched, Michelin-starred exotic restaurants in sun-kissed, faraway places. Once, while preparing the European ports for the Carnival Liberty’s inaugural season I took Heidi to a “poncy” (www.urbandictionary.com) five-star place in Monte Carlo …………and I hated it.
The Hotel De something or other was full of women who looked like prostitutes and they were in the company of greasy little men who learned their English from baddies in James Bond films and who meet in bars at night to sell one another machine guns. The staff looked at us and after realizing we weren’t members of the machine gun club or anyone famous, they treated us with distain and total and utter rudeness. The only time our waiter smiled was when he gave us the bill……I truly believe he thought that I wouldn’t be able to afford it and that my arse would soon be either doing the washing up or getting a beating from one of the greasy men.
Anyway, last night I did get to go to a very “posh” dining establishment here in Miami and………it was fabulous. And of course it was a most welcome invitation as most nights I have been eating alone……..at my hotel………a hotel with a name but that doesn’t matter because its the same as any other business hotel you or I have ever stayed in.
There’s a priority check-in section where you wait behind some rope, on a bit of carpet. There are staff in shiny suits who say things like “If there’s anything else at all for yourself at all.” And you are given a credit card key that makes lots of whirring noises when you put it in the lock but will not, no matter what you do, open the door. Twice I have arrived at room 522 only to discover that the red light blinking which means I then have to turn around and go all the way back to reception to get a bollocking from the receptionist that I have placed my key near to a credit card whose magnetic strip has destroyed the thingy in the key. I then have to wait while the staff gets me another key and of course this has all happened while I am desperate for a number two and am already “touching cloth.”
Let me describe my room. The air conditioning unit sounds like a F16 jet. The light switch by the bed turns all the lights off, except one. Which can only be extinguished by hitting the bulb with your shoe. The plug you need to charge your mobile is always behind the mini bar, and the “tea and coffee making facilities” are designed to ensure you can’t make either. No, really: the kettle lead is never more than a foot long and the brown powder they put in the sachets tastes like a liquefied pair of my underpants after a nine-hour trans-Atlantic flight.
The restaurant I have been eating is like all hotel dining rooms, furnished in beige, is overseen by a woman who when she discovers you don’t speak Spanish just says “sir” and then hands you over to a 17-year-old who arrived in Miami that morning on the underside of a train.
Your fellow diners are chomping their way through their suppers, some reading books, some newspapers, and there’s always one whose reading the hotel’s smoking policy leaflet over and over again. Just killing time till they can go to their room and watch pornography………we all had one thing in common…..we were all alone…….a table for one, please.
Businessmen’s hotels, I think, are the most miserable, soul destroying, soulless, energy sapping, embarrassing, badly run and badly organized edifices in the entire world. And that’s before we get to the food. The menus are always written in a massively squiggly, curly-whirly typeface. And there’s much talk of jus and things being drizzled onto other things. But you know the chef is not from Paris or Rome. He’s from Honduras and he hasn’t a clue what he’s doing.
As a general rule, I order items that even I couldn’t mess up, which is why, the other night I ordered a lamb chop………”Que?” said the waiter……”Lamb,” I said again adding “a bambino baa baa”. ………”Si” she nodded “……..and returned 20 minutes later with a bowl of pasta.
And so you can see just why an invitation not just to a great restaurant but a chance to eat with others was such a wonderful treat. Ocean Drive, or Ocean as it’s known here in Miami’s South Beach…….or SoBe to the natives. It’s a beachfront stretch of art-deco hotels to which it feels like the whole of hip America has come to pay homage. Obviously, this being the Miami, they didn’t walk here. Enormous Lexus SUV’s driven by handsome men listening to rap songs by Jay the Ruler pursue BMW convertibles driven by gorgeous women hoping that they will “drop it like it is hot.”
South Beach is that kind of place. It’s the American Riviera. It’s like Cannes run by hipsters and everyone’s invited, no jacket required. It’s a place where yellow Porsches make complete sense.
One thing I really cannot understand though is the attitude the rich and tanned have with their dogs. You see them everywhere in South Beach and honestly ……it’s bloody hilarious. Most of the dogs are the small Paris Hilton lap-rat . They walk their rats ……. sorry …..dogs with their natty doggy accessories and 40-meter retractable leads tripping you up on the sidewalk. And then there are the clothes. You will see the little rats ……. sorry ………….dogs dressed in their favorite sports teams colors and one even had an army camouflage jacket on. I am sure at Halloween these poor rats………sorry……..dogs are dressed up as Dogzilla and Batdog.
Here is what I mean
All of the above dogs look like they would rather live in Korea then be subjected to this ……….if I had a little rat dog I would attach a fake penis to its head and let it spend Halloween as a “Cock er Spaniel”………..but that’s just me.
Anyway, I was invited to dinner last night by my friends Mr and Mrs. Bentley. You may have heard me talk about them before. I have known them for 20 years but our travels mean we don’t get to spend too much time together. Mrs. Bentley is an executive for Cadbury’s, the famous British choclatier and Mr. Bentley owns a sporting goods shop.
Well, it so happened that they were in Miami on vacation and so we met up at a place called Prime Italian ………….and it was fantastic. You know , what I love about American restaurants is that unlike their British counterparts, there are no visible dress codes. Whereas in the UK I would have had to wear a suit but in American eateries I could walk in wearing only my Burger King underwear that have “Home of the Whopper” on the front and I still would have been seated.
I am not a restaurant critic but I will say this. If you are ever in Miami and if you love Italian food served in a relaxed atmosphere where any minute someone famous like Pee Diddly or George Hamilton may walk in……….then Prime Italian is for you.
Many of you will want to know what I had to eat…………..so.
We started with a selection of appetizers for the table which included calamari, mini Philly steak sandwiches (“that’s not Italian” I hear you cry…….well, it’s American Italian so “forget about it.”) and of course the one thing you really must have…….a giant meatball …….a huge one pound ball……..it was simply delicious . I am not sure how it’s made or where it comes from but judging by its size I am sure there must be an elephant somewhere in Africa that’s walking a little lopsided.
The main course……..well some had a pasta made with vodka………some had pizza………some had veal scaloppini and I had………something very, very special ………Italian hot and sweet sausage………it was delicious and ………..here’s a photo of it.
It was a wonderful night especially as I didn’t have to pay and because the junior Bentleys joined us, as well. Both had their partners with them and both are obviously in love. I know this because they were saying I love you a lot to each other …….well ….. they didn’t actually say I love you they just texted each other the message.
Seriously though…….it was a great night and the only thing missing was Heidi.
So, here I am again in the Miami office working out of a cubicle in the entertainment office. My laptop dancer computer has picked up a disease called a Trojan and is currently being disinfected by a man with a beard. I opened the computer up this morning and suddenly dozens and dozens of internet pages started opening. These included www.bigjugs.com and various sites telling me I had been selected to win a new car, etc etc…….I couldn’t close any of the pages and so I called Mr Beardy the, I/T doctor who took it away for it to be shot.
I want to thank you so much for all the comments you made yesterday about the new commercial. It seems that the majority of you thought it was fun and you all loved the fact that it was shot onboard one of our ships. If you didn’t get a chance to see it ……… here it is once again.
This is the first of the new 30-second spots and I will preview the next one on Monday. There are some brilliant ones to show you and one especially that I think is going to have all of you laughing out loud.
I wanted to choose one of the many comments you posted about it and so I randomly picked one of them………I have no idea why I choose this one:
Tom & Jane
January 26th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
We liked the commercial….much better than
the nation of why not….
why not pay for that steak !!!
why not pay for that late nite snack !!!
or……..
why not sail Carnival, the nation of FUN FOR ALL-ALL FOR FUN
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
It seems Holland America have really taken the world of blogging to their hearts and as you will see on www.bestblogsatsea.com.Multiple blogs from across the fleet is something that Stephanie has wanted to do at Carnival for some time and congratulations to HAL in making this happen. Reading these blogs are a wonderful way to fuel the passion you all have for cruising and there is no doubt that Carnival Corporation leads the way in travel related blogs………..and we have only just begun.
OK, tomorrow I have a long list of questions to answer but I wanted to answer this one which has been outstanding for some time…….my apologies Brittany. However, it is an important question that deserves an answer………..so it is.
Brittany Asked:
John. I want answers. Why is Carnival one of the only cruise ships that doesn’t allow someone under the age of 21 to be in a cabin with somebody who is 21 years old? (I am referring to the Age restriction of the fact a 20 year old would not be allowed to be in the same room as a 21 year old, and instead is required to be with somebody 25 years of age or older in a cabin)…
John Says:
Hello Brittany
You ask a really good question and I can understand why you are so upset. The fact of the matter is that while I am sure you and your friend are upstanding and well behaved, I am sorry to report that this cannot be said for many young people your age. I spent 20 years at sea and each year I dreaded spring break when groups of 20 year olds would be four to a cabin and would cause so much damage in and around the ship. I could tell you many stories of the things I saw and eventually Carnival realized what a detrimental effect this was having on the other passengers. And so, the rule was changed where any groups of younger people who wanted to sail must have someone of 25 or older in the cabin unless they were married….and this has made a huge difference. Now, the flip side to all this is that people like you who and your friend get punished and that is so regrettable. I hope that maybe you can find a way to sail with family or friends and enjoy the Carnival experience. I am also sure you have further thoughts on the subject which I encourage you to express here on the blog thingy.
My best regards
John
If anyone else would like to chime in on this subject please feel free …….as always I appreciate your thoughts.
So, what do you think of bingo? You know, it’s been around on cruise ships for many, many years. I remember when I first started in the entertainment department we sold big and heavy cards that had little windows on them so every time a number was pulled from the dice cage that you had to slide the window across the number. You then called “bingo” and if you were lucky……..you would win our jackpot of $50. Obviously things have changed. We now have modern bingo machines and disposable cards and huge jackpot prizes. Back in the old days we used to make bingo fun……….really fun and I am going to try and encourage this to return.
Anyway…….do you play bingo onboard, do you like what we do or do you have suggestions to make the games more fun? Now, I know you would all like cheaper cards and bigger prizes but that aside………..is there anything you would like to see? These are changing times and as I have said a few times recently, your feedback and suggestions are so very important………so shout BINGO and I look forward to seeing your comments.
Well, the Carnival Splendor is getting ready for her South American adventure. Extra activities, events and seminars have been planned, extra shows produced and I truly believe that Goose and his staff will make sure it’s a voyage to remember. Now, don’t forget Jaime will be posting Dear John blogs throughout the voyage so look out for those very soon. It was nice by the way to see that Jaime and our old friend Chris “Bubba” Roberts took the time to post comments on yesterday’s blog……..hey Bubba, the next time you have some free time………..how about a Bubba blog?………..we have missed you.
Now, the Carnival Splendor has ordered more library books and board games for this special voyage. It seems that board games are getting more and more popular with sales of Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly and Scrabble increasing all the time.
Naturally, the sort of people who eat tofu and dress their dogs in Santa suits think that the world is reverting to traditional family values and that instead of beheading Zombies on the WiiStainonboX that kids are whittling chess pieces round the fire with Mum and Dad listening to Perry Como. They see the resurgence of the board game as a good thing.
It will though come as no surprise that I think this is a load of bollocks and that these games are crueler then buying a Frenchman a bar of soap for Christmas. Let’s start with Monopoly, a game I see many passengers playing along the Promenade Deck these days. OK, I guess it’s good fun but, like the banking and property system on which it is based, there is a flaw. It never ends………You go bankrupt so you borrow money from your Dad who has loads. Then you go bankrupt again. So you borrow more money from the bank.
And then, when there is no more money left in the box, you write out an IOU and keep on borrowing by which time it is Sunday , everyone is bankrupt and you have realized that unchecked capitalism doesn’t work whether it comes in the form of a merchant banker called Richard…. or in a box. That’s if you’re lucky. If you’re not, there will be a “bad loser” around the table who will land on your hotel on Madison Avenue and in a hysterical rage will burst into tears and throw the board, his dog (wearing a New York Yankees dog suit), and eventually themselves out of the window.
In theory Scrabble is much better and yet it, too can cause my hemorrhoids to throb. And that’s because I always end up with mostly vowels. So while my opponent is writing “fantasy” across two triple word scores and claiming it’s a game of skill, I’m getting three points for “poo.”
I have a similar problem with backgammon. So far as Heidi is concerned, dice have six faces all of which feature six dots. I, on the other hand, have only ever thrown a two and a one. Even without a player coming the other way, it would take me about 15 months to get all my pieces to the other side of the board.
Board games, then, do not bring a family closer together. They rip out its heart in a seething cauldron of rage, hysteria, accusations and hate. And so to all my friends who sailing on the Carnival Splendor’s for 40 something days………forget Monopoly and Scrabble……take the one you love to the Arcade and spend an hour or two playing Death Zombie Auto Halo Hemorrhoid Killers……….it will bring you closer together.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy.
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
I can remember when bingo cards were $5a session and the prizes were things you got from your “recommended” shops. Sometimes a tote, sometimes a sapphire ring!
I guess I am dating myself.
Tucker in Texas
Hi John!
Polar ends of the spectrum going from a drab businessmen hotel to SoBe. A different world that’s for sure. The sausage looked great and it sounded like a delicious menu.
Momopoly is theeconomy right now. I hope all of us are able to pass Go.
Always love ship bingo. Just wish they would play a different variety of games instead of the same ones everytime.
Take care and have a nice day.
David
Wonderful blog, John! You had me laughing like a fool!!
The pictures of those poor pooches are hilarious! I wonder if they have committed suicide by running in front of a yellow Porche or simply died of embarrassment??
Even though I am sailing in ten days I am GREEN with envy over those folks sailing around South America on the Splendor!! I LOVE that ship! Goose and Jaime are brilliant and will provide far more entertainment than any bored (not misspelled…) game ever will!!
Please tell Heidi and the Thingy I said hello and please offer my thanks to all the folks who are working so hard in the last days before the Blogger’s Cruise!!
ARE WE THERE YET???
Host Mach
I’m glad friends are coming to take you out so you don’t have to be solito. I hope someday we will have the chance to take you out to eat also. About what Brittany asked I was going to ask you the same thing. My nephews are planning a cruise with friends this summer. The were planning to go on the AOS for the third time!! ugh! Eugenio and I spent an hour telling them they should go on the Victory. We had them convinced a 100% and eager to go on the Victory and them…….they learned they could not go because not one of them is 25. I understand your point and I have been on that kind of cruises but the truth is that the other cruise line is going to take them with 21. SOOOOOOOOO they are going on the AOS again. On a good note I sold a cruise on the Victory to my cousin who is going alone on Feb 15. He is really looking forward to it because it is his first cruise. He is single on his 30′s so I’m sure he is going to have a blast. What better ship??
About bingo, in all my cruises I have gone like 2 times because I find it addictive and I don’t want to spend the money on that. I remember when it used to be fun. On the Ecstacy with you we didn’t play we only went to laugh with you and Michael Andrew. You have video remember?? They were a blast.
John:
David knows all about those “business hotels”. He was in Atlanta yesterday and is currently somewhere in New Jersey (25 miles from Newark).
It would be easier for me to keep up with him, if I just implanted a GPS on him.
But I will say that most of the time he stays at a Hilton (of some sort) and they do have great stuff like a “manager’s special” (like free beer and chili) on Tuesdays….or free beer and chicken wings. Anything with free beer is going to be a hit with him.
He will be home Thursday only to fly back out Monday to Pennsylvania. He always does this. There is always some trip off to “who knows where” and he ends up flying home the day before we are suppose to leave on a cruise.
I have already told him if he gets iced in…we are cruising with out him!!!
As far as games are concerned…we have always played UNO. We used it as a tool to help DJ with his math skills, because he would keep score.
Now he is a little card shark!!! LOL
I have to admit, I have never dressed up my dog…ever. Dakota is as cute as can be….au natural!
All 8 pounds of him.
One thing I would love Jaime (or Bubba) to do in their blogs is give us an example of the “complaint of the day” and how they resolved it. That is one feature of this Blog that I have missed since you are no longer “on a ship” (so to speak).
Linda (Mom of your friend~the UNO king~ DJ)
Hi John and Heidi
John,Sounds like you had a wonderful dinner last night
The size of the Italian sausages were , well just undescent….
I envy the Splendor and the people who are going with her, however I’d be missing the blogger’s cruise , and that’s just not possible..:)
In regards to BINGO, we do play it with each cruise we go on. Besides never winning and the price of the cards like you mentioned, we had one issue were the girls had charged us $20.00 for one single card one time, but other than that Bingo has come a long way from the iron cage with balls to the computer generated games up on the big screens. That’s great for older people like us who are getting harder to hear and seeing less(even with (aids like glasses)…LOL
Really don”t have any suggestions in regards to the Bingo. Maybe some of the other Bloggers do.
Take Care
The Tuckers
Elizabeth & Arnold
John,
I love Carnival Bingo! On my first ever cruise we played Bingo the first night and I won $600.00. I was blown away (so was my hubby Michael). After that we have played bingo on every cruise and last January on the Fantasy I won a cruise. To say I was blown away would be minimizing it. I was jumping up and down and screaming. LOL, yeah, I get a little excited. hehe Anyway, that cruise took us to Canada this past July and it was one of the best cruises we have ever had.
I am not sure how Carnival could make Bingo better. I love the excitement that the CD’s/ACD’s bring to the room. I hope Carnival will always offer Bingo.
Sallie
Wannabe Thong Princess of King Ed the big’s Evil Krewe in training
hello john
last nite on our Fox local station 13
the news helicopter was filming the ,
Carnival Inspiration leaving the port of Tampa,,
he said ” wow look at that a ship full on people
getting ready to have a boat load of FUN”
A GOOD FREE CARNIVAL COMMERCIAL
WHY NOT
tom & jane
John – Bingo
We used to play all the time becasue it was fun and costs were reasonable. Now that has changed.
You buy a card for $10 and MAYBE of your lucky they will play about 3 games in a row for some big bucks. When the really big games are held the whole damn ship knows and shows up and you have little chance at that one game.
More games, Less cost per card, more lower value games where all money collected goes to the winner and let us enjoy an hour or so without spending $100 a piece.
OH Yes – QUIT TREATING THIS AS A MASSIVE INFUSION OF MAJOR CAPITAL FOR CARNIVAL – TREAT IT AS FUN FOR THE PASSENGERS AT A REASONABLE COST.
Dave
We stopped playing bingo after our first cruise. We’re not gamblers, so it wasn’t as much fun to lose money over and over. I really would like to see other activities on the ships other than bingo, but I’m having a hard time coming up with one that would work with a lot of people in the lounge. I’m glad this is being looked at though – hopefully something different will be on the activities list next time we’re sailing!
Hi John,
We always enjoy the bingo on the ship and go to at least 3 of them each cruise. It is also something to do and get a good seat before a presentation or a show in the main room.
Will you be participating in the Male Nightgown contest on the Bloggers cruise in Feb?
Or perhaps you will be joining us in the pajama party sporting your Burger King underwear that have “Home of the Whopper” on the front ????
Phil & Liz
Hi John, I like bingo but I don’t play it much. I think it should be a fun way to spend and hour or so on a sea day. Some times you spend $20 to play three games and you wasted 30 minutes and $20. I would rather waste the time and money in the gift store and have something to show for it. I do like to play when they play 10 games for $10.00. It is supposed to be fun right? Winning would be nice. Having fun is nicer.
Jo
Dear John: I love bingo. I always go to the games on board. I really can’t think of anyway to make it any better, except to let me win once in a while (ha ha).
Love, Mary Lou
we like the on board bingo but don’t play much. truthfully, its too expensive. If I’m gonna spend that money I’d rather go to the casino.
I have always liked the Bingo games – especially the cruise bingo game. The problem, I have never won the Cruise Bingo. I always seem to be one number short when someone else calls BINGO. Personally, I think it is a conspiracy. Maybe, I should file a complaint with the cruise director.
Keep the faith, Daddy
JustJon
Hi John,
As usual, another great blog today. About the bingo, I haven’t ever been able to play while on board because I think I’d need too much help. My visual imparity sort of makes it a little too hard. So, I spend all my time playing black jack in the wonderful casino with the awesome dealers. They are always so good to me. I wonder if there is a way to make it easier for someone like me to play. I’m sure there are others that would really enjoy playing. As you may or may not remember, I work for a beach vacation rental company here in NW FL. I do feel for the blogger that can’t book a cruise because of her age. Like Carnival, we have a very strict policy on age restrictions for our rentals. We have it for the same reasons as Carnival. I have a son that is 20 as well, and even though he works for the same company as me, he can’t rent a condo. There are lots of great young people out there and it’s a shame it has been ruined for them by others that can’t behave correctly on vacation. I hope she gets to cruise with Carnival because it’s the best vacation she will ever have! I loved hearing Heidi’s video. I wish you guys the best with the thingy. I hope to see you on the bloggers cruise on the Carnival Dream. I’m still trying to talk Geoff into taking the trip. Take care.
Leasa
BINGO! Yeah John I always play, but I have NEVER won………..sigh
What would I like to see? Me getting a winning card just one time.
Countess Carolyn. the krewe member with all of the bad luck, except in love…………..
Great response you picked for the commercial comments. I really did think it was funny too.
I’m so glad that you got to go out somewhere nice for dinner with your friends–it looked delicious too. I had to laugh when you were talking about the young ones texting I love you. We were discussing this last week at the office–how will this generation have rumpy pumpy–will they say anything to each other or text their feelings during the intimate moments? They text when they could easily speak to each other now. I can’t imagine the world in another 10 years–will anyone speak to each other? It will take away the need to learn a foreign language because the phones and blackberry’s of the future will translate the text for you..oh well.
Wow, that’s great that the Splendor is planning ahead for our journey to South America–and I do like to play Scrabble–we do this as a family now. I am so hoping that they will do something fun for the Equator crossing and for Cape Horn to celebrate our initiation from polywags to shellbacks and hornbacks. Looking forward to seeing Jaime again too! I’m getting so excited I can hardly stand it now–4 more days!!!
Now Bingo–I haven’t played in several cruises because it got a bit predictable. I loved it in the early cruises 10 years ago when they would do dumb stuff like having a game for the people that had the fewest numbers covered or made everyone stand up until you got a certain number. I can’t even remember all the things they did but it was fun. You’re right, those kinds of things were fun and made us look forward to going. That’s how the “fun ships” became so popular.
John,
Great blog today my friend. From all of us in the food service industry we thank you for all your stunning reviews. And we wish you a hemroide flare up with the bad ones. Ok only kidding we still like you. Looking forward to our cooking class, should make for a great laugh and education for everyone, I know many bloggers have contacted me saying how excited they are to see you cook because it’s along the lines of DIY and we all know how that turns out for you. But I have a special knife just for you that should help prevent injury. See you all in a week I have to go drizzle some au ju and brulee something else. Best to heidi
Kevin
John, no Bingo idea just a story. While playing the Cruise Bingo I needed just one more number for a coverall Bingo. Each letter’s balls were a different color. The caller every time he called an “O” he would say “I got a pretty yellow ball”. So here I’m waited for an “O” for my coverall and he pulls out the next ball. Then he says “I got a pretty yellow ball”. I was sitting right next to the stage and he and I had been joking around all cruise. So I said “I hope it’s a pretty dirty yellow ball”. He pause and looks at the number, looks down at me and smiles, raises the mike to his mouth and gets ready to announce the next number. Just then this little old lady in the back of the room yells Bingo on the previous number. She wins the cruise. Yes the pretty yellow ball in his hand was the dirty yellow ball “O – 69″ I would have won the cruise if I just kept my mouth shut and let him call that number without pausing and letting that little old lady figure out she had a Bingo he would have called the next number, mine BINGO.
BIG ED
John, I am with you on the hotel topic! I feel the same way each and every time I’ve cruised solo! It isn’t fun eating alone. As for not knowing Spanish, yes, it seems they leave you alone and don’t say much cuz I don’t know Spanish!! As if I am SUPPOSED to know Spanish…I am Canadian and I don’t even know how to speak French (ok, I know some words and can read some basic phrases).
I wish I could afford to spend that many days on the Splendor…..I have to wait until September when I get to throw all inhibitions out the window and celebrate 40 in style….
Hi John,
Are we there yet?
Bingo
I won $1000 on the Sept 11th, 2006 sailing on the Holiday. “Come on BECKA” I yelled out a loud rousing Marine Corps “OohRah”. My wife went to yelling at me to say “BINGO”. Carnival got the money back as I booked two more cruises when we got home.
I would say dont change it. Dont ever go to the electronic handheld cards. NCL has this system where they are generous to charge you $99 for 75 cards for a chance to win $150-250. Not worth it. For me the $20 for a 3-card is priced right.
The Great Pig Race that Steve Cassell used to do on the Holiday was fun for all and entertaining.
Dave
I love playing bingo here at home and whenever I’m on a Carnival ship. I do find it expensive though ($20 for 3 cards for 1 or maybe 3 games). If Carnival lowered the price to $10 for 3 cards, I think that would be a much better bargain. I have won though, so I shouldn’t complain.
Last February, I was on the Fascination by myself and went to the lounge to play the big game which was a free cruise. I needed 1 number (which is always the case for me LOL) and there were a lot of calls before it was won. I was standing as asked by the ASD with everyone else who only needed 1 number. Lots of excitement!!!
I am going on the Sensation 3/15 with a friend and although she doesn’t play bingo, I certainly plan to…….
Hi John,
Bingo..I still play once or twice a cruise. Seems it has become more of a money maker rather than a fun activity. I seem to remember the quick 1 game sessions were cheaper and only the big money 3 games or more where $10 a card. now every one is expensive. And it is an excuse to sell the pull tickets.
here is how the last couple of Bingo games have gone. Game listed to start at 3:30 pm. show up to the lounge, dance class still going on. dance class ends 10 minutes late (really ok, they were having a blast). now rush to get Bingo going. lines for cards. long lines for pull tickets. computer isn’t working, lots of rushing. most everyone has a bingo card, still long line for pull tickets, computer still not working, lots of rushing to put losers in for drawing, get more pull tabs. late arrivals need Bingo cards and of course pull tickets. computer working now everyone has Bingo cards, ACD gabbing (still line for pull tickets). Last call for Bingo cards. only 2 people in pull ticket line. more putting losers in the drawing. time to play Bingo, it 4:05pm. Newlywed game scheduled for 4:15, gotta hurray. whew. I need a nap.
Glad you got out with friends. Great blog as always.
SInce you are leaving for the Fantasy on Thursday I overnighted an envolope to Stephanie for you. She should have it by noon on 1/28. Thanks for your help.
Cheers
Ron(cruisin’, my economic stimulis package)RN
Hi John. I won the big jackpot at Bingo on the inaugural sailing of the Carnival Freedom. Dear Heidi looked after the money. That day I had been given Turkish beads in Izmir and told to rub them to bring me luck. It worked. Coming home from Rome we got stuck in New York with all that cash. I wore my money belt all night as we ended up in a really sleazy hotel. Everything was shut down.
Next day no planes leaving for Toronto except one and we were on stand by. Rubbed the beads again and we got the last seats.Talk about luck. That money paid for our last cruise in December on the Miracle doing a back to back with the Freedom again. No luck with Bingo but just booked the Carnival Dream for the Transatlantic. Will be taking the beads along.Bingo here I come but have discovered the penny slots in the casino on these last two cruises. As they say “if you don’t play you cannot expect to win”.
Please keep the blog going. Hope to see you in October.
Val.
Ontario,Canada.
John:
Glad you had a nice dinner out! Nothing like good italian!
About the bingo, I have a few suggestions for changes that may be fun and add some excitement.
Offer bingo like the trivia games and have small gifts (logo items are always nice) as the prizes. Charge maybe $5.00 and the coverall make it for a spa treatment or excursion as the prize. We played years ago on Premier before they went belly up and it was a blast and came home with a coffee mug and my daughter won a beach towel. We still have both which are a great reminder of the old days of cruising.
Play Loser’s bingo. I know someone brought it up already but everyone stands up and as the numbers are called, if you have it, sit down. When it comes down to only a few, bring them up on stage and play until you only have one left, but the catch is, they have to shout “I’m the biggest loser on this cruise!. It will bring the house down.
Another option is mystery bingo with a prize wheel. Have cash, gifts, excursion and booby prizes on there. Play short games and give away more variety of things. Money is nice, but in the case of this game, it’s a win/win situation. Prizes are logo items, services and smaller money prizes. It’s fun and maybe play 5 games for $10.00. You will pack the house and have fun too!
Sorry to go on about this, but after 10 Carnival cruises, we need some new ideas.
Also, the scratch off tickets are a joke! Most of us have them in our states and the odds are not good. Raffle tickets are always good and it can be for other things besides a cruise. How about an excursion raffle, supper club raffle, spa treatment raffle. Sell the tickets $5.00 or 3 for $10.00. How many of us would love dinner at the supper club for a $5.00 raffle ticket purchase, YES!
Sorry to go on about all of these, but you did ask!
Wish we still lived in South Florida, we would have loved to have you over for a meal. If you are ever up in Gator Country (Gainesville), we would love to have you over for a meal!
Take care!
Susan & Scott
John,
I used to never miss a bingo game when we first started cruising in the late 1990′s. But I must agree, with the price so high, and it’s boring, I’d rather spend my $20 some other way. Maybe it’s because I have never won. Or maybe it’s because I can play bingo at home…I want to do something I can’t do at home on a cruise ship!
Dear John I loved the pictures of the little rats excuse me pooches.I like to have died laughing.Your dinner menu sounded magnifico.As for Bingo I can’t say i.m not a big player but my DW thats another story.She is a bingo fanatic.If numbers are being called she is there.We have eight golden ship on sticks most for bingo verifying balls.She has been planning her bingo for the Bloggers cruise.Best wishes to all Gary and Bug
Hi John,
Glad you enjoyed your outing to SoBe. My grandmother – a transplant from Yorkshire – lived in one of those Art Deco buildings in the ’60s and ’70s. They were very inexpensive and home to a lot of seniors.
We play bingo on the ship and, yup, we’d like less expensive cards, more games and to win!! How about a few games after the money prizes are gone where you give away Carnival souvenirs?
And, for those days at sea, how about card tournaments? Euchre is popular in Canada, I’m not sure about the U.S., and I would have loved to have been able to play on my last cruise.
Have fun and best wishes to Heidi and thingy!
Joan
Regarding Bingo – it has gotten too expensive to play! It would be great if the price was lowered per game or more games were offered for the $20. I agree with the other poster who said Carnival should take less of a “cut” on the Bingo profits and just pass the winnings on to the customers. That would allow more games to be played for less money. Keep up the great work John and look forward to seeing you in NOLA!
Dear John (please reply)
There are still no excursions listed for Isla Roatan on my 2-22 Legend cruise. There are quite a few excursions missing from the other ports as well. I had heard new contracts were pending. Is this just an online thing or will excursions offered by Carnival be limited?
I think the blog ate my comment on Bingo last night, I’ll repost if it doesn’t show up later.
All the best to Heidi and the Thingy.
Cheers
Ron(cruisin’ in ’09, my economic stimulis plan)RN
On Bingo
well its Bingo,,or my Sock Drawer,
I go with the SOX
why not
I like the new commercial because it is filmed on the ship. You can see not only a part of the ship but also the ocean. There is a fun, humorous vibe to it and it makes me think “I wish I were there, too!”
We never play Bingo so cannot make any suggestions for change or improvement.
John,
We LOVE Bingo! We play AND we win! Well, I usually win…but last cruise it was my husband who won! We enjoy it all….can’t think of anything to change….unless you want to lower the price…oh, you already covered that topic.
Have a great day!
Catmama, aka Princess Lori
First of all, I’d like to send my prayers out to Mary Lou & Lee Lovelace and also say the Heidi is simply beautiful!
Liked the new commercial better than the ball and the pinata, however, I agree with the others that the guys seems a little over the top. I kinda miss the old “ain’t we got fun” commercials. Managed to show most of the fun stuff to do and really showcased everything well. —- In this economy, perhaps a commercial with a family trying to figure the cost of a vacation and, after going over expenses (of a land based one) finding out that a Carnival Cruise is about half the cost for the same or even better quality for their family!
I used to work in security and cannot understand when any of them treat anyone, employee or not, in the manner that the woman treated you or the crewmember! I had always found that the job, any job for that matter, goes much smoother when the people you deal with are treated with courtesy and respect. You should have reported her! I know it’s not in your nature, but how can they fix it if they don’t know it’s broken???
On Today’s Blog,
I can understand why the cruise industry did the age thing, buy why 25?? Most people have gotten out of college and are part of the real world by the age of 22 or 23. Also, there are many couples today that are not married but would like to take a romantic cruise….oops can’t go, you’re not old enough (who want’s to bring a 3rd wheel on a romantic cruise)! Even though I’m well past that age, I don’t see the rule as fair. 21 would still leave out some adults, but seems to be a much more reasonable age based on what you’ve given as a reason for the rule.
I’ve only played the Bingo games a few times and usually only so that I can get a decent seat for the shows. I know from the crowds that the game is extremely popular but perhaps the games could be a different time with something else as a show warmup?
I love board games but never play them on Carnival as there’s too much else to do that I can’t do at home! Well…….., except for the one time my daughter was sick and couldn’t leave the cabin.
I am so tired of being home….wish I was cruising
around South America with Jaime and Greg Gallello!
John, Please Reply
Why aren’t any of the bloggers cruises or inaugural cruises during the summer months when the kids aren’t in school? My daughter reads the blog with me all the time and would so love to go on one or the other but school doesn’t allow it?
John
I thought the commercial was great, especially because I saw part of it being filmed!! I was on the Splendor the week they were filming them. I was able to talk to the crew and spoke to them about the great job they did with the Beach ball and Pinyata,…bugger, commercials. They were a great group or guys and gals. They were all over the ship that week but they did not, in my oppinion, cause much disruption.
Goose was a great CD and I could tell somedays he was pretty stressed due to the fact the weather was not cooperating with us. Almost had to cancell one of the shows due to rough seas, but the show went on and it was Excellent!!!
I missed Jaime and Ken that week, bugger!
Still had a great time.
Till next time.
Have a great day and look forward to seeing the remaining Commercials.
James from Georgetown ON, Canada, digging out of the snow
John, can you please comment on this:
HI!
We are having a discussion on Cruise Critic about what “Carnival should do away with”. One poster suggested Carnival do away with ports, and just cruise for 7 days with no destination.
I have always wanted to suggest the opposite to Carnival. How about 2 or 3 ports with overnight stays, instead of the very small amount of time currently spent at each one? I love to explore ports, but always feel so rushed and wished we could spend more time at each. Multiple sea days have me restless and bored, and while I attend the activities, they can become redundant after 2 days.
I have done many land vacations just so we could explore the ports we have previously visited on a cruise. In fact, we have not done a Hawaii cruise with Carnival because of the MANY days at sea.
I would definitely cruise more often if port days were 1 1/2 to 2 days instead of 7 hours!
Anyway, those are my thoughts today as I sit in my living room watching the snow come down (it’s a whopping 10 degrees here). ICK! I NEED A CRUISE!!!
As for Bingo, we play once per cruise, as the cards are rather expensive. I just hope Carnival doesn’t go to the electronic handheld Bingo game thingy like NCL…
Thanks again,
Lisa in the cold, cold winter of the midwest.
My wife and I looked forward to the bingo, especially on sea days. It breaks up the day nice with a late morning or late afternoon session.
My only suggestion is holding the evening sessions when both dining groups can play. We always have late dining, and many of the big jackpot games are held when we are finishing dinner. We have found we need to ask our dining crew to rush our dinner to the table or skip the dessert (love that chocolate melting cake!).
I’m looking forward to winning the win a free cruise bingo in May on the Liberty.
Glad you are in warm Miami, John.
We are freezing in Chicago!
Mark
Hi John,
First, I hope you are enjoying the warm weather in Miami. Although I can’t make it to the bloggers cruise, I hope you all have a great time, and I will be looking forward to hearing reports about it from you and everyone; I’m sure you’ll have a great time. I hope you enjoy the pre-cruise this Thursday, and I can’t wait to see all the great upgrades.
In regards to BINGO:
I have a bunch of thoughts regarding this. First, my family and I love playing bingo on cruisers. We are in it to try to win money or prizes, but we are also in it for a GOOD TIME. There is a reason why we play bingo on cruises and not at home or in the community; it is because cruising bingo is fun and a form of entertainment. Some cruises have had better bingo callers than others, and it really does make a difference. The person calling bingo and in charge should be someone fun, energetic, and entertaining. We all LOVE the little jokes, even if they are sometimes corny(b8, and ate, and ate)…
Some cruise lines have RUINED BINGO, and we do not play on those lines anymore. Hopefully Carnival will NOT follow these lines. They charge insane amounts of money for games of bingo. In addition, they have resorted to computerized bingo screens which 1) are expensive and 2) take away the FUN of bingo – so hopefully Carnival will NOT follow in these aspects.
Carnival can do several things to KEEP BINGO FUN and make it even better (sorry for the caps… just trying to make some points stick out for those who are skimming): First, Carnival should keep bingo entertaining, with little jokes, stories, and fun/energetic callers. In addition, Carnival should stick with the punch cards, and Carnival should have a VARIETY of GAMES and PRIZES. There should be different games like full card, letter T, traditional Bingo, etc. In addition, there should be several games played at once… whether it be on the same card (where the winner from the previous game would be exempt from that game depending on the game) to make use of the cards or sometimes on different cards when not possible. In regards to the VARIETY of prizes… cash is always great, but maybe sometimes some games can be played for free spa sessions, free cruises, etc. In addition, to keep bingo ENTERTAINING for those who DON’T (usually) win, cruisers who buy cards should get RAFFLE TICKETS to be selected throughout the games… for big and little things like free drink coupons, cabin upgrades, spa sessions, dinner in the specialty restaurant, $10 to the gift shop, etc.
One random question: What ever happened to horse racing? This was a great cruise activity (as long as it is not outdone or overplayed), and if it is not currently an activity on any ships, maybe it can be tested out again…
Ok… sorry for the very long post. Hopefully it can help a little.
Thanks for everything, and enjoy the warmth while I sit here inside watching the inches of snow fall and accumulate outside.
-Matt
I play bingo every cruise, but am not a fan of the bingo machines. It seems to diminish the fun for me. I much prefer the old cards.
Good Afternoon John,
I love bingo, even though I never win! I can get as close as one more square then some fool cries out “BINGO” and my run of luck (bad) is safe for another go round. Bingo is one game, as with lotteries and raffles, that I have never won. Slots in the casino too. But what the heck it’s fun. So I will continue to play bingo and slots if for nothing else but to reinforce my belief that it’s just not in the cards (pun intended) for me to win anything. I’m on a cruise so I’m a winner anyway.
Take care (((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))) to you, Heidi and Thingy
Joan
Hi John,
Leave Bingo the way it is. The pricing is much better than NCL with their electronic cards. Who wants to pay $99 so you can have 75 cards for a $150 payout?
I hit for a $1000 on the Holiday in 2006. Can you say “Come on Becka”. I scared her by letting out a loud Marine Corps Ooh Rah instead of yelling bingo. My wife went to fussing at me to yell bingo.
Now if you wanted to start the Great Pig Race on all the ships, that is always entertaining.
Dave
Hi John,
First, I hope you are enjoying the warm weather in Miami. Although I can’t make it to the bloggers cruise, I hope you all have a great time, and I will be looking forward to hearing reports about it from you and everyone; I’m sure you’ll have a great time. I hope you enjoy the pre-cruise this Thursday, and I can’t wait to see all the great upgrades.
In regards to BINGO:
I have a bunch of thoughts regarding this. First, my family and I love playing bingo on cruisers. We are in it to try to win money or prizes, but we are also in it for a GOOD TIME. There is a reason why we play bingo on cruises and not at home or in the community; it is because cruising bingo is fun and a form of entertainment. Some cruises have had better bingo callers than others, and it really does make a difference. The person calling bingo and in charge should be someone fun, energetic, and entertaining. We all LOVE the little jokes, even if they are sometimes corny(b8, and ate, and ate)…
Some cruise lines have RUINED BINGO, and we do not play on those lines anymore. Hopefully Carnival will NOT follow these lines. They charge insane amounts of money for games of bingo. In addition, they have resorted to computerized bingo screens which 1) are expensive and 2) take away the FUN of bingo – so hopefully Carnival will NOT follow in these aspects.
Carnival can do several things to KEEP BINGO FUN and make it even better (sorry for the caps… just trying to make some points stick out for those who are skimming): First, Carnival should keep bingo entertaining, with little jokes, stories, and fun/energetic callers. In addition, Carnival should stick with the punch cards, and Carnival should have a VARIETY of GAMES and PRIZES. There should be different games like full card, letter T, traditional Bingo, etc. In addition, there should be several games played at once… whether it be on the same card (where the winner from the previous game would be exempt from that game depending on the game) to make use of the cards or sometimes on different cards when not possible. In regards to the VARIETY of prizes… cash is always great, but maybe sometimes some games can be played for free spa sessions, free cruises, etc. In addition, to keep bingo ENTERTAINING for those who DON’T (usually) win, cruisers who buy cards should get RAFFLE TICKETS to be selected throughout the games… for big and little things like free drink coupons, cabin upgrades, spa sessions, dinner in the specialty restaurant, $10 to the gift shop, etc.
One random question: What ever happened to horse racing? This was a great cruise activity (as long as it is not outdone or overplayed), and if it is not currently an activity on any ships, maybe it can be tested out again…
Ok… sorry for the very long post. Hopefully it can help a little.
I will be writing a few questions for you in the next few days… currently planning a big family cruise (maybe for the Dream), and as you know, we like everyone value your advice.
Thanks for everything, and enjoy the warmth while I sit here inside watching the inches of snow fall and accumulate outside.
-Matt
Bingo was really exciting cause we were really hoping to win that full card and win another cruise . It was really not something we would give up the sun and the outdoor deck for – the reason a lot of the younger set are on board is to get that sun , We are traveling to see the sun and plan to get as much of it as possible . So if bingo was played on the lido deck many more would play – and mind you thats where most are enjoying beverages and would be willing to play more bingo . I know that the whole thought of winning a big prize makes people want to play – one thing that would be great prizes would be excursions nad spa treatments .
for those on a tight budget and just getting on board playing bingo is not in the budget . But if there are prizes that get them to experience more of the cruise then it could very well generate interest .
Our kids would like to see more info in the websites on youth – what they are able to do and to actually see other teens enjoying themselves.
In the night clubs – a commercial that shows the teens enjoying the activities on board .
They say a lot of the things are gears for older people .
BINGO!
Hi John,
We used to play bingo everytime it was offered during a cruise. But we’ve stopped playing completely. I can’t remember the last time we played.
#1. It takes far tooooooo long to play the games. Just call the numbers and stop all the stalling that goes on. You could get in many more games or let people attend other activities.
#2. Cost has escalated. I’d rather spend that money in the casino.
#3. Win a cruise bingo is a disappointment now. It used to be that someone in the room won the cruise. Now, they go into a drawing w/every other ship in the fleet. No fun.
#4. Like the idea of some other folks about giving away Carnival logo items and other prizes. Would allow you to play more games without spending a ton of money on cash prizes. Don’t stop the cash prizes completely. Just fill in extra games w/other types of prizes.
#5. I’d rather play game show and trivia type games than bingo. Have more of those types of things. Give away Carnival logo items instead of ships on a stick.
#6. When they say bingo is at 11…it takes 15 minutes or more to get started. Folks should be there and have their cards by the start time. Again, there are so many activities I want to do, it’s frustrating to be tied up just sitting around waiting.
#7. Sell the cards as people come in the doors. Seems it would save a lot of time.
You asked for honest feedback.
Thanks for asking John!
Lisa and George
Hi John,
I like Matt’s ideas about bingo- very thoughtful and fun. I’d be thrilled if I won a little something here or there, even if it was a raffle. How about a kid bingo for ages 8-15 or so? You could give prizes other than cash. You know how much they love the 14 carat gold plated plastic boat on a stick!
As far as the spring break room policy, I have to agree with you. We have a similar policy at our favorite resort. The final straw was beer bottles in the pool. The only other option that I can see is to have someone over 25 put up a cash deposit for the room. If there are any extra-ordinary damages
then the parent is on the hook for the repairs. Also, give the kids their first warning when they check in- any (reasonable) complaints about noise, damage or public intoxication from other guests then the offenders are off the boat at the next port. This allows the responsible young adults to enjoy a cruise and makes the irresponsible ones pay for the damage they create.
Just my 2 cents. Have fun in Miami, wish I were there instead of in a snowstorm here.
John , some very dear friends of ours, are going to be in the liberty (Sighhhhhhh) this weekend , they had gone with us on our last cruise – which was on the Liberty(Sighhhhhhhh) and they are taking with them this time their son . Would you be able to have Steve welcome them back and maybe mention something clever in regards to taking the cruise without myself and Calvin , us left here in PEI Canada having a wonderful time in the snow(not). They are extremely excited – of course they should be – I would sell my right arm to go – well not literally but you get the picture. Its their sons first cruise and I hope that he loves it as much as we did .
I was even thinking I should give her some bingo money to play for me – Would she be able to give me the big prize if she won or is there some technicality – really it would be like playing bingo from home on one of those radio shows. last year the couple who won the cruise had never played bingo before – why could it have not been us . Well please try and have Steve welcome them back – If I could manage to go we would have been there in a shot. Well John on the note of dressing up dogs , even worse is the family that has a dog , and children all kind of matching – have seen it – its matching head bands , fabrics matching , even the mom and the dad- that is having to much time on their hands and really why ???????????.
Picture you , Heidi and Thingy and say a pomeranian or your golden lab all wearing some article of clothing that matches. I think that is way to Martha Stewart for me .
Once again we are waiting for that lovely snow storm to hit our neck of the woods – ENOUGH ALREADY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry my posts posted several times… I was having a problem with none of them posting and then now a day later they all ended up posting even though I got an error message when I posted.
Didn’t mean to post the same thing more than once.
Bingo – Carnival should stick with the original bingo punch cards, definitely not the computerized boards. I also like the idea of different prizes and the raffle idea for prizes mentioned throughout the games to keep it entertaining for those of us who do not win.
I’d honestly rather have my fingernails pulled out by a decendant of Ghengis Khan rather than play Bingo either on or off a ship.
But the wife loves it and if it makes her happy….
Wouldn’t mind seeing something a little more skill related, like let us shoot the number on the bingo card with BB guns… yeah guess not.
John,
I LOVE playing Bingo onboard. But I don’t play as much as I want to because of the cost of the cards. So to play, we make a point to look for the multi card games, like 3, 5, or even the magical 10 game Bingo.
My friend Ashley and I always like making Bingo as fun as possible. We are the “who hoo” girls when we get the right numbers. We love the fun that the entertainment staff puts into Bingo (most of the time) And that old saying that the loudest players always win-uh no! We would always win if that was the case. Or at least the most fun players. It was in fact our super funness at Bingo that led Dance Captain Claire to remember us on the Splendor from the Glory, a good year and a half earlier!
So my suggestion would be-more multi game Bingos! Let me feel like I have a better chance of winning! And after seeing some other comments-I’m totally down with Carnival Swag as presents. I’m dying to get my hands on one of those white track suits I saw them wearing in Philly and on the new commericals! I’d definitely pay to try and win one
Sarah
PS- LOVE the new commericals-I actually saw it on American Idol!