We have had the new Laser Tag game here for three weeks and I can’t believe how popular it is. The bouncy castle type of stage we use takes about 15 minutes to inflate and then the idea is that guests go inside wearing a sort of SWAT vest and shoot each other with laser rifles.
I have to admit that when I first heard about this that it would be used only by young men with stapled ears and noses and whose pants are worn so low we can see the make of their underwear and the crack of their bottom. But……..amazingly we have families playing with Mum and dad and the kids all Ramboed up and older people as well ………… it’s extraordinary.
I had also expected to receive complaints from parents who would launch into a tirade against stupid video games, and how their graphic violence is poisoning the minds of our precious children.
But I have received none……..everyone loves it and I decided to see if this was the case in the arcade as well………and it is. Last night I watched parents standing next to their kids in the arcade onboard as they chased zombies around nuclear power stations, laughing hysterically when their arms and legs are blown off by imaginary hand grenades.
I guess I still have that image in my mind of Mum, Dad and the two Thingies sitting around a table playing Monopoly but, for two reasons, this is never going to happen. First, it’s not 1956 any more, and second, why would kids want to spend the afternoon (and most of the rest of their lives for that matter) pushing a tiny metal car around the streets of New York when they could use the time to put a sniper’s round in a baddie’s head?
Monopoly used to bring families together. But now that has been replaced by Laser Tag, Halo, Gran Turismo and Die Alien Scum Bastards 3. And it’s not like Monopoly is all about peace and love is it?
The only problem with electronic games, so far as I can see, is that while they are huge fun, kids don’t really learn anything. Other than how to drive very fast through a crowd of renegade soldiers while firing a 50-caliber machinegun.
Anyway, Laser Tag will soon be on other Carnival ships and if you see it have a go ………. it’s fun………….in a Schwarzenegger “I’ll be back” kind of way.
As always on the blog I try and tell you what is happening and not only the good stuff. It appears that you are all still unable to access my blog on board without having to pay for it. I was assured that this was not the case. I heard this from the Carnival Splendor’s latest voyage and it was the same on the Carnival Fantasy………and having checked here on the Carnival Valor the I am embarrassed to report that yes you have to pay. I am so sorry. I had told you this would be taken care of and it has not ……….and that makes me mad.
We have 3.9 million readers many hundreds of which take a cruise every month and they want to stay in touch with the blog. It’s also a marketing tool for Carnival so there is as far as I can see no reason to ask you all to pay. Anyway, I said it had been fixed and it has not so I wanted to apologize for this to you all. I have not given up and I know Stephanie will help me with this problem……it really upsets me.
Time to answer today’s questions…………….here we go.
James & Nancy Asked:
John Please Reply,
I was wondering since a lot of people are kind of paranoid about travel to foreign countries, why no cruise companies have tried sailing to all west coast cities in the US? Start at San Diego, Ca. and sail to Catalina Island then to Los Angeles (Long Beach) then on to San Francisco and on up the coast ending in Seattle, Washington. Then offer a rail package that comes back to San Diego for a round trip. This could be done in reverse for a trip that started in Seattle. I know the Spirit goes from the 8 day Mexican Riviera to the Alaska cruises and this would be an ideal repositioning type cruise. Just a crazy thought. What do you think?
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2someJohn Says:
James and Nancy
Thanks for the e-mail. Your idea is certainly interesting, however, it’s not feasible because of the Passenger Services Act which does not allow cruise operators to depart from one U.S. city and return to another without visiting a foreign port in between.I remember an amazing cruise we did on the Carnival Legend to Bangor, Maine, and other cities in the Northeast but it was only made possible because we also visited a couple of Canadian ports. Keep the ideas coming, though, as we are always looking for new and exciting places to visit. Thanks again for taking the time to write.
Cheers,
Johnretirementman Asked:
REPLY PLEASE JOHN
I’m sorry for asking again but I’m a little confused about the LEX program. I’m taking a cruise next January, 2010 on the Dream out of Port Canaveral. I’m the one that asked you about this new program because my wife and I enjoyed it very much. First you stated that it was being done. Later you said that it only at Ft. Lauderdale and Miami. Then after another blog after hearing from Chris (Bubba) Roberts hearing you said it only was used inside of Florida he said it was used in San Diego and Vancouver. My question is when you said in Florida therefore Port Canaveral is now included? I’m sorry once again but I would just like to know the real results.
As far as the pre-paid gratuities that were on their Sail & Sign cards, we like the idea even though I still give more to our stewards who’ve always been so great to us. The only question my wife always asks me is how do we really know that all these great workers are given the pre-paid gratuity that we give?
The photo of Heidi was beautiful in her red outfit showing her pregnant. She looks really fantastic. The scones look great also.
One last question and it might be too early to answer, that being is do you know who will be the CD on the Dream in January 23 2010?
Once again, thank you for answering all of my questions even though they may be redundant.
Paul F. PietrangeloJohn Says:
Hello Paul
Paul, my sincere apologies for the confusion. I did indeed forget Port Canaveral as one of the LEX ports. They do indeed offer this service on the Carnival Glory as just confirmed by the CD Butch. This program is also offered in Vancouver on the Carnival Spirit but not in Mobile, Galveston and California. Thanks for the comments also on tipping and the fact that if you have great service which I hope is always the case you give them extra once again shows the true gentlemen you are. Well, as for the Carnival Dream in January most likely Todd will still be the CD although I hope to be able to relieve him when he goes on vacation but at this time no schedule has been set for next year. I am glad you thought Heidi looked great and I cannot wait to see her
My best to you and the family
Cheers
JohnCheryl K Asked:
JOHN PLEASE RESPOND
This question brought up something I forgot until after I posted. Many of us questioned–does the wait staff and room stewards actually know who left the tips on their sign & sail each cruise or do they just get it with no explanation as to who tipped them or didn’t? That could change the way people answer the question about putting them on the sign and sail. I always give extra but we obviously were on this cruise so long that we all were discussing this and wondered say if you gave the waiter $50 in an envelope does he think that is all you left him or does he know you also tipped on the sign and sail?
CherylJohn Says:
Hello Cheryl
That’s a good question Cheryl and the answer is an absolute yes. Each team member is told who has left the gratuity on their Sail & Sign card and which cabin or table may have removed those charges. The gratuities are then paid to the crewmember. If you give extra as you kindly say you did they will know that this is an extra gratuity which is probably why you saw that huge smile and got the extra big hug? Thanks so much for asking this question and for thinking of our iconic crew.
My best regards
JohnPeanuts Asked:
Good Afternoon John,
PLEASE REPLY
In regards to the automatic tips… we had mixed feelings about them at first. Now we prefer to pre-pay them with our cruise booking and if the service is beyond “expectations’ (which it has been) we will give our wait team, room steward/stewardess, etc cash on the last night. At first, when this was first started, we saw a slight dip in the level of service but we haven’t seen it since. We don’t mind them and quite frankly it’s nice not to have to carry the cash for them.
Heidi looks wonderful!! Thank you for the photo of her and the scones look sooooo good. Can you please give us your Mum’s recipe for them?
Take care,
Joan
John Says:
Hello Joan
I think many people feel the way you do and after a little uncertainty are now comfortable with either pre-paying the tips or having them placed on the Sail & Sign card account. I think the service now is as good if not better with this system but you are correct there were some “hiccups” when we first started this some years ago. I hope our service will continue to exceed your expectations. I will have the scone recipe very soon for you.
Best wishes
JohnJohn Asked:
John< please reply
just returned from the Liberty on 3/7/09.
It was a great trip, we had the open seating diner, and it was by far the best way to go. Each time we showed up for diner we had a 5 min wait or less, we show up at 6pm, 7:30, 8:15. I am booking my fifth cruise this weekend and I will make sure I book a ship that has open dining. If you have time could you email me back, I have one small problem that happened on the ship, but I rather not post it here. Thanks JohnJohn Says:
Hello John (great name)
It was great to hear your positive report on the open dining experience. I have yet to see this in action but from what I hear we are close to perfecting this now and that’s great news. Choice is the name of the game and while many still prefer assigned seating and staying with the same waiter and eating with the same new friends, there are those like yourself who need the flexibility of open sitting. It’s great to offer the best of both worlds. Please send me your comment on the problem you had and I will reply to you without posting.
I am happy you had such a fun time and my best to you and the family
JohnCecil & Mila Weintrop Asked:
Dear John,
Enjoying your blog, really enjoyed the November Clearout blog, hope you recovered your Cindy CD.
Please could you pass our e-mail address to Marczin Myzewski (Housekeeping Manager) who is an old friend of ours? We met on the Spirit in 2001/2002 where we both worked on board. We lost contact after we moved to another address. We still live in London. We would love to hear from him if he’s not too busy. Best wishes
Cecil & MilaJohn Says:
Hello Cecil and Mila
Great timing, he is here for three weeks on the Carnival Valor and I just sent him your details. He is a great guy and I can understand why you became friends. I hope you are both well and you will be happy to know the November experience has not been repeated.
My best to you both
Johnchristina Asked:
JOHN PLEASE REPLY!!
My Aunt and Uncle will be going on the Valor 3/15/09 it is their 1st cruise was hoping you could send them a little something to the stateroom for them as a surprise. They are in cabin # Barbara and Michael Prischak. I would great appreciate it!
Cheers
Christina LochraneJohn Says:
Hello Christina
Cheeky……………please send free stuffAsk and you shall receive. I shall send them something as requested and I am sure they will have a wonderful time.
Cheers
Johnjim maloney Asked:
Dear John,
Please reply.
I am sorry if you received this emailed twice, I was having trouble sending the first one and I never did know if it went out. I love traveling on Carnival cruise ships. March 22 I will be sailing on Carnival Victory for the 9th time, number ten will be on June 3 on the Spirit. There one on going problem and that is getting a steak cooked to my liking. I know it is a small problem, but it has become kind a game to me to try to get the steak cooked medium. Every time and I mean every time during my last three cruise they were not cooked correct. I like my steak medium. I have ordered medium, medium rare, and even rare. I know I can send it back but that is not the point. Any suggestions on how to order my steak? By the way I love your blog. I read it each morning before I start my day and it always puts a smile on my face.John Says:
Hello Jim
Just wanted to check you saw my reply to this yesterday.
Cheers
JohnDarlene Asked:
Hey, John
What a range of emotions, reading today’s blog. First, for Jaime and all the crew and passengers on the Splendor. I’m sure everyone had to stop and think about what may be caused this man to end his life, and how precious life really is. My prayers to all affected by this loss. On a positive note: Jaime certainly has a gift of writing to be able to express the circumstances and emotions so well. She must have taken lessons from you, John!
And congratulations to Bubba and Julie! Visited their website and left them a message. I certainly enjoyed my cruise on the Spirit.
Please Reply:
Bubba mentioned that he returned to a new ACD. What happened to Kirk? He and Chris worked so well together and ALWAYS made me laugh. I’m hoping that he is now on vacation or has been reassigned as a CD!John Says:
Hello Darlene
Thanks so much for the words of support. When Jaime first worked with me on the Carnival Splendor I immediately saw something special in her. One of her attributes was her ability to write and that’s why I encouraged her to keep doing so and to allow us into her world through her Dear John letters which you and so many others seem to enjoy so much. Kirk Benning is now a cruise director currently serving on the Carnival Ecstasy. He deserves this promotion as I am sure you will agree.
My best to you all
JohnChristy Richardson Asked:
Dear John,
thank you so much for helping me out with the problem of my daughter’s needs. We will be going on the conquest April, 2009. Booking #. I absolutely loved the conquest when I went with a group of friends and wanted to share it with my family. I know they will love it as much as I do. My daughter’s diet is Gluten-Free and Casein/ Free which means no dairy or wheat of any kind and we also try to avoid soy as it can be similar to gluten. She cannot eat anything that has been prepared with any type of gluten containing flour or any type of dairy. She can have all kinds of meat and vegetables with seasonings that are gluten free. We use Rice Pastas for her and she loves potatoes and sweet potatoes as well as anything that has rice in it (no butter, but she can have ghee). She can have juices to drink and for dessert, we give her dairy free ice creams made from rice milk or coconut milk or dairy free sorbets. She loves apples and gluten free pretzels for snacks as well as gluten free / dairy free cookies and animal crackers. She also loves Fritos and regular lay’s plain potato chips.
We also use a wheelchair for her, but it can fold up to get in and out of the room because we were told that there were no more handicap rooms available that the rest of our group (2 other rooms) could be near. But, that’s okay because we did get a fairly large room (2470). I have been told it is over 300 sq feet.
Other than the diet situation, the only real problem we have foreseen is the shower. My daughter has sensory issues and does not like to shower, but if we have a shower chair in there, it could help. I don’t know if they have those on board or not, but if not, we can make do.
Thanks for helping us with this.
I love reading your blog each night after I put the kids in bed. Your videos are great, and I love the way you answer people’s comments. Thanks for all the help you have given all of the Carnival Cruisers out there. We will cruise again because you guys always treat everyone so well.John Says:
Hello Christy
Thank you so much for taking the time to write back. Here is what we are going to do. I am going to personally make sure our Guest Access Services (special needs) Department contacts you to discuss this further. I can tell you that I spoke to the chef here on the Carnival Valor and he tells me we have everything onboard our ships to fit your requests. Then, I would kindly ask that the week before you sail you send me another comment via the blog to remind me and therefore I will then speak directly to the ship to confirm all is ready for you including the chair in the shower which we can of course provide. Between now and then I will do everything I can to make this a wonderful and stress free experience as I can for you and the family
My best wishes to you all
Johnkjunea Asked:
Dear John,
Please reply when you get a chance…
Love reading the blog thingy and your take on life at sea. It’s a breath of fresh air after working with middle school kids every day, but then, they don’t smell so good either!
My husband, son, and mother in law are traveling on the Carnival Liberty on May 23. You had a listing of the Cruise Directors recently, but when I squinted, pulled the computer screen up to my nose and put on my reading glasses, aided with a magnifying glass; it appeared that the CD would be leaving on the day we arrive. Do you know who will be taking Steve’s place?
Best wishes to you, Heidi and the little thingy. Mine is now almost six and quite a handful at times!John Says:
Hello Kjuena
Let me start by saying that as a son of a teacher I think you should be paid a million dollars a year. Teachers are underpaid and should receive far more accolades than they get plus you should be allowed to give a naughty kid a good clip round the ear when they misbehave. OK, now that’s out of the way let me answer your question. The cruise director on your voyage will probably be Butch Begovitch who is possibly being transferred from the Carnival Glory to the Carnival Liberty. I will be able to confirm this soon. Thanks for the kind words and I look forward to he or she being six very quickly!
My best to you and the family
JohnDebbie Asked:
When we were on the Carnival Glory in June, they held a Walk for the Cure. I participated in this and really enjoyed it. I would like to know if the Carnival Freedom will be doing this also. We are sailing in April. Also, can you share with us how much Carnival guests have contributed to the Komen Foundation through these Walks.John Says:
Hello Debbie
The On The Deck For The Cure walks are a wonderful expression by our guests of their desire to support the continuing search for a cure for breast cancer. Although we do not do this each and every week on every ship, we try to do it as often as we can. Sometimes this is dependant on the supplies of T-shirts and wristbands we have. I will forward your request to Todd the CD on the Carnival Freedom and hopefully he will be able to have this available when you cruise. As for how much Carnival guests and crew have donated ……….well, I don’t know …………..it’s a great question and I will find out for you and post the answer as soon as I get it
Many thanks
JohnAmy & Bruce Asked:
PLEASE REPLY!! THANKS!!
John, my husband & I sailed with you on the Carnival Freedom last year during your bloggers cruise. It was our first cruise…we went for 2 weeks and weren’t sure what to expect…BUT YOU WERE FANTASTIC!! We see from your Cruise Director schedule that you are scheduled to be on the Carnival Valor w/o March 15…..We hope so as we will be on that sailing!!!
Hope to see you there!!
Amy & Bruce Norman
John Says:
Hello Amy and Bruce
I am so glad you had a great time on the Carnival Freedom and those words are so rejuvenating. I will be here next week until Belize where I leave from to head to the Carnival Splendor in California. I will not be the CD though because I am going to watch and help a bright new talent in David Tancock who will be leading your cruise. I will be all around the vessel though so please make sure you come and say hello.
See you soon and thanks again for the kind words
JohnTim Asked:
Hello John.. **Please respond***
I am a travel agent that has a group that will be sailing on the Freedom on 3/28/09. This is our third time sailing as a group together. We sailed this same route in 2007 on the Liberty and they took away the Nassau stop before we sailed. We are 18 days away and there are still no shore excursions listed for the Nassau stop. I have called Carnival 3x’s and have been told they had to be entered by hand and would be online by the sixth. They are still not listed.
There are a couple people in my group that keep asking me about this and are worried that the stop will be taken away again. Can you check to see if there will be any excursions in Nassau? Thank you…John Says:
Hello Tim
Firstly let me say thank you for the great support you continue to give us here at Carnival Cruise Lines and I am sure you must be very excited about the coming voyage on the Carnival Freedom. I will check on this for you as having seen the website it does indeed not include the tours for Nassau. This may just be a glitch so please give me 24 hours and I will confirm everything is OK.
Best wishes
Johnmsqpon – Jo Myerly Asked:
Hi John, I saw the complaint about the bacon on the Carnival Ecstasy’s. The same thing happened to us last week on the Carnival Splendor. We were on the second leg of the South America cruise. We went to the Lido several times for breakfast. The bacon was by the cook making the eggs. We had to stand in the line and ask for bacon. He would give us about three pieces. If you asked for more he would give you two more pieces. I thought maybe the were being miserly because of the long cruise. Now I am wondering if this is system wide and Carnival is just being cheap.
Jo MyerlyJohn Says:
Hello Jo
Welcome home from the Carnival Splendor and I hope you had some wonderful experiences of South America. Well, the bacon thing seems to be a big topic of conversation. So, in response I have alerted our vice president of food and beverage for his response and of course I shall pass this along to all of you as soon as I get it.
Best to you and Dave
John
ges918 Asked:
Please Reply
John,
We noticed the aquarium in Baltimore over the weekend. It really brightens up the street. It is only a couple of blocks from my office so I will be sure to go check it out.
I’ve got a question about local cruises. Since we live within walking distance of the Baltimore cruise terminal, I was wondering: are there are ever last minute cruise deals available? It would be so much fun to wake up one morning and decided to hop on a ship rather than go to work.
Thanks for the help and the great job you do with the blog,
GaryJohn Says:
Hello Gary
Glad you saw the aquarium. Have you tried it yet? When you do, please let us know. There are some terrific deals to be found and I advise you keep looking at www.carnival.com or get friendly with your local travel agent and get them to call you as soon as they get the deals come in. I wouldn’t wait until the day of sailing, though, as our departures typically sell out and we wouldn’t want you to miss this terrific opportunity to sail on the Carnival Pride. Plus, when you book early you have a better chance of getting the cabin and itinerary of your choice. We’ll be in Baltimore soon and you really must take a cruise on the Carnival Pride………….she is a fantastic ship.
Cheers
JohnBobby Asked:
Hi John, please reply; I wanted to know if they have the same shows on every ship?? like last time they had living in America, do they change shows after awhile. what shows are on the Valor??
Best wishes to u and your wife and upcoming baby
sincerely
BobbyJohn Says:
Hello Bobby
The “production shows” as we call them have a long shelf life although in more recent times we have changed quite a few shows around on various ships. Obviously, while it is easy to rotate visual acts and comedians a production show is another matter. There are huge set pieces that not only have to be designed but hung in the theaters and our only real chance to change these set pieces out is during a time when the ship goes into dry dock. Therefore, while there is no specific time a show will stay on a ship we do our best to keep them as current as possible. The shows here on the Carnival Valor are called Nightclub Express and my favorite Far From Over which is an astonishing 80′s tribute show. I hope that answers your question and let me know if you have any follow ups.
Cheers
JohnIrene Garner Asked:
Dear John….please reply
My cruise is only 13 days away as I write this but only 11 sleeps until we set off for Miami. My excitement can barely be contained.
I have two short questions.
1. I am wondering if there are any dartboards in the bars of the Carnival ships.
2. Do you or any of the other members of staff know about “Geocaching”? This is a world wide treasure hunting hobby and I think would be a great excursion idea for Geocachers at many of the different ports-of-call.
All the best…Irene (hooked on cruising)John Says:
Hello Irene
Wow you are excited and that’s great to read because you should be its going to be a fantastic cruise. OK, darts……..let me start with that. I have to tell you firstly that we do not have dart boards on the ships……are you a darts fan? I loathe darts. You settle down with your mates for a bit of a chat and a few drinks and then one of them suggests a game. Why? Why do I want to spend my time in the pub, standing up, doing math. I can believe that throwing some shortened spears at the bottom of a beer barrel might in some way be deemed entertaining. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m not very good at it. My ability to hit the treble 20 is governed not by hand-eye coordination but by the laws of averages and probability. Mostly, I fail to hit the board at all, or the dart bounces back and pierces my shoe. And then I’m expected to stand there, with my foot nailed to the floor, trying through a fog of pain to deduct 16 from 263. …….. sorry …….went off one there didn’t I?
Now, as far as geocoaching is concerned let me tell you what I know about that…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
There.
As you can see, I know bugger all. So, I kindly ask, what is it? It sounds fascinating and maybe something we could be doing onboard. If you have time please let me know via the blog thingy. Thanks for the posting, look forward to hearing from you and have a brilliant cruise
Cheers
John
That’s all for today. I will answer more tomorrow. I want to say a big thank you for all the comments. Please keep them coming.
Last night was a challenging one. I want to start this piece by saying that this has been the only problem we have had apart from one or two Rhodes scholars who may be MIT valedictorians but after a few Woo Woo’s have no idea who they are or which cabin they are in. The best way to prove that this is a very well behaved bunch of vacationers that we have not had any derogatory comments from other guests.
However…………….last night…
I should start by saying that at 44 I have reached the age where I am no longer able to tell how old younger people are. The kid could have been 18. Or he could have been eight. So, weirdly, I was standing there holding this boy by the scruff of his neck, I was thinking: “I’m going to get done for assault if I’m not careful.”
OK, why was I holding him by the scruff of his baggy T-shirt………..well, because as I walked into the cigar bar last night after the show I saw this kid punch another much smaller kid in the head. I ran over……….OK, I walked quickly………and separated them but this kid kept trying to push past me and continue to give the other kid the good news. I therefore had no choice but to grab his collar and lift him off the floor. I then realized I had to be careful and so I gently put him down.
As soon as I did he buggered off in a flurry of swearing and hand gestures involving various fingers. My attention turned to the other kid whose head must have been playing some heavy metal music inside it after the thump it had received. I asked him if he wanted to see a doctor but he said he was OK. I asked for his name and cabin number and after he told me I asked him to take a seat while I had a security guard come and make a report. As we waited I asked him if he new the name of the bigger kid…..”Yes,” he said ……. “It’s my brother.”
I canceled the security guard and instead called the parents who were asleep in the cabin while their 15- and 11-year-old sons wander the ship. I am not a parent ……. yet ………. and it’s probably not my place to comment but I am going to anyway. I called the parents and immediately got a bollocking that I was doing so at 12:20 am and that they had an early excursion the next morning. I told them what had happened and the father told me this was normal and then ……..well…………that was it.
He didn’t ask me if his younger son was OK or where they were now………he just well …..said nothing and that was the end of that conversation. And so along with one of the entertainment staff we walked the 11-year-old back to his cabin and I made sure to tell him that if he had a headache tomorrow to tell his parents. This morning I called security and told them that I wanted the incident recorded just in case.
I would love to post the name of the family involved but I cannot. Nothing can be done about the parents because they are too thick to understand in my opinion. It’d be like trying to train a hamster to smoke a pipe.
The only place where this issue can be tackled, then, is at school. So you fit airport-style metal detectors at the doors to ensure no pupil is packing heat, you put all the troublemakers in one class and you give the teacher in charge immunity from criminal charges …………..and a cattle prod.
And now for something completely different
From: VALOR GUEST SERVICES SUPERVISOR
Sent: Tuesday, March 10, 2009 8:12 PM
To: VALOR CRUISE DIRECTOR
Cc: VALOR GUEST SERVICES MANAGER
Subject: John, can you call this guest please
Guest Mr. ________ from cabin _________ called very upset about a comment made on stage by one of the staff teaching the dance class. Guest says that the staff member made references to his sexuality and him being gay by calling him “a queen.”
Please can you call him?
Regards,
Sr. Guest Services Supervisor
Before I called I checked with the staff member who took the class because I could not believe that she would say anything like this and after we spoke I new exactly what had happened. So, I called the guest and explained that the staff member was teaching an Abba Dance Class to “Dancing Queen” and after the lesson had finished she had said on the microphone to the audience who were watching and waiting for bingo to start “let’s have a big round of applause for our dancing queens.”
When I explained this to the guest he started to giggle and apologized for ………and this was in his own words “being a diva.” Anyway, all is well and the guest also thanked me for arranging the daily Friends of Dorothy meetings as well.
OK, after all that lets enjoy another photo from Geo. This time we go back a few weeks for these stunning shots of the Carnival Destiny in dry dock
Amazing photos Geo, what a talent you have.
Some of you have been asking for me to confirm the Carnival Dream’s voyages after she arrives from Europe so here are her 2010 ports of call.
Day Port Arrive Depart
Sat. Pt. Canaveral 4:00 PM
Sun. “Fun Day” At Sea
Mon. Cozumel 10:00 AM 6:00 PM
Tues. Isla Roatan 10:00 AM 6:00 PM
Wed. Belize 8:00 AM 6:00 PM
Thurs. Costa Maya 7:00 AM 3:00 PM
Fri. “Fun Day” At Sea
Sat. Pt. Canaveral 8:00 AM
Day Port Arrive Depart
Sat. Pt. Canaveral 4:00 PM
Sun. Nassau, The Bahamas 8:30 AM 2:00 AM
Mon. “Fun Day” At Sea
Tues. St. Thomas/St. John* 10:00AM 8:00 PM
Wed. St. Maarten 8:00 AM 6:00 PM
Thurs. “Fun Day” At Sea
Fri. “Fun Day” At Sea
Sat. Pt. Canaveral 8:00 AM
Two brilliant itineraries ……one spectacular cruise ship……………when are you going?
And here’s more great news for Alaska lovers and the fine people of Seattle
CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES’ 2010 ALASKA VOYAGES TO OPERATE ROUND-TRIP FROM SEATTLE
MIAMI (March 11, 2009) – For the first time ever, Carnival Cruise Lines will operate a schedule of seven-day Alaska cruises round-trip from Seattle beginning in May 2010.
In total, 17 week-long Alaska cruises will operate from the Port of Seattle from May 11 to Aug. 31, 2010, departing Tuesdays aboard the 2,124-passenger Carnival Spirit.
Port calls on these voyages include the popular Alaskan destinations of Skagway, Juneau and Ketchikan, as well as Victoria Island, British Columbia, and cruising Tracy Arm Fjord.
Each of these destinations offers a rich history and culture, along with awe-inspiring natural wonders, including calving glaciers, magnificent fjords and native sea and animal life. A wide range of shore excursions – from helicopter flightseeing and rainforest canopy tours to hiking, canoeing and kayaking expeditions – are also available.
The Carnival Spirit also features an on-board naturalist who educates guests on the region’s colorful history and points out animal and marine life from the ship’s bridge.
“Nothing compares to Carnival’s Alaska cruises, which showcase the beauty of the Last Frontier with an outstanding combination of charming and historic destinations, breathtaking scenery and our unmistakable brand of fun, all at incredible value,” said Lynn Torrent, Carnival’s senior vice president of sales and guest services.
“And Seattle is a terrific addition to Carnival’s industry-leading number of North American departure points. It will provide our guests with a convenient and affordable air transportation option, as well as the opportunity for those in the Western region of the U.S. to drive to Seattle,” she added.
Prior to the start-up of the new program, Carnival Spirit will operate two special voyages – a six-day Inside Passage voyage from Vancouver to Seattle departing May 5, 2010 and a seven-day Glacier Bay cruise from Seattle to Vancouver Sept. 7, 2010. Both voyages include a cruise through the Inside Passage along with port calls at Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan; and the seven-day cruise also includes a day of cruising in spectacular Glacier Bay.
Carnival Spirit is the ideal ship for Alaska, with 80 percent of staterooms featuring an ocean view or balcony – perfect for viewing the passing scenery — along with indoor and outdoor promenades, a 14,500-square-foot health and wellness center and 16 themed lounges, bars and nightspots.
Dining venues include the two-level Empire Restaurant with specially prepared “Just For Alaska” menu items featuring local fish, game and other ingredients, as well as the La Playa Grille, a casual eatery featuring a 24-hour pizzeria, and the Nouveau Supper Club, an intimate reservations-only restaurant offering prime steaks and other gourmet cuisine.
Kids sailing on Carnival Spirit can enjoy three different children’s programs – Camp Carnival for ages 2-11, Circle “C” for ages 12 to 14, and Club O2 for 15- to 17-year-olds – with facilities and counselors dedicated to each group. Many activities in these programs feature fun, educational activities with an Alaska theme.
Reservations are currently being accepted for Carnival’s 2010 Alaska cruises from Seattle. For additional information and reservations, contact any travel agent, call 1-800-CARNIVAL or visit carnival.com.
James Cusick and the lucky passengers of P & O’s Arcadia are currently in Shanghai, China….and the photos on his blog are outstanding. Have a look at www.bestblogsatsea.com to see for yourself and while your there have a look at all the other corporation’s blogs and you will see why we call the site best blogs at sea.
By the way, the Arcadia is calling in Hong Kong …maybe I should get Sue Drip to go and visit and write a blog for us about it……….I only need to tell her she will get free drinks and she will be there.
I discovered James Taylor’s music very late after watching a guest appearance he made on the West Wing in which he sang a haunting melody that had me going out and buying his greatest hits collection. “Handy Man,” “Sarah Maria,” “Song for You Far Away,” “Sweet Baby James,” “Copperline” and about 20 other favorites are now on my Eye Pod Thingy and as I write this part of the blog at 12:18 am I am listening to James’ tribute song to Martin Luther King Jr. (“Shed a Little Light”). I think “perfect” is the best review I can give him and his music. And so I would love to be on the Queen Mary 2 later this year…………….here’s why.
James Taylor to Present Cunard Command Performances Aboard Queen Mary 2
Iconic singer-songwriter to set sail from New York June 19 on a legendary Transatlantic Crossing
March 10, 2009 – Cunard Line is proud to announce that Grammy® Award-winning singer-songwriter James Taylor and his band will perform during Queen Mary 2’s June 19 eastbound Transatlantic Crossing. Sailing from New York to Southampton, England, Taylor will headline two Cunard Command Performances in the ship’s Royal Court Theatre during the six-day journey. (Space is still available to book this very special voyage!)
“We are honoured to welcome James Taylor aboard our flagship Queen Mary 2 and into a lineage of luminaries who have sailed with Cunard during our 170-year history,” said Carol Marlow, president of Cunard Line. “Our guests will most certainly enjoy this intimate concert experience with an American music icon.”
Over the course of his celebrated career, Taylor has earned 40 gold, platinum and multi-platinum awards and five Grammy Awards for works ranging from Sweet Baby James in 1970 to Covers, his most recent album featuring his own interpretation of tunes from the 50s, 60s and 70s, for which he was nominated for two 2009 Grammy Awards. In 2000, he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame. Most recently, Taylor was one of a select few music artists who performed for President Barack Obama’s inauguration.
“I’ve always wanted to take an ocean liner back to Europe. It’s such a civilized way to go, and the Queen Mary 2 is the last word in first class travel. It was a dream to use the passage to transport and rehearse our summer tour: band, crew and family; kit and caboodle. I’m looking forward to the pair of concerts at the end of the trip and, hallelujah, no jet lag,” Taylor said.
Queen Mary 2 offers an array of accommodation combining classic Cunard touches with a stylish, refined elegance. The ship’s legendary Queens Grill and Princess Grill Suites afford guests spacious five-star accommodation and dedicated single-seating dining in the famed Grills Restaurants, along with a private sun terrace, cocktail and concierge lounges. Guests sailing in Britannia category accommodation enjoy gourmet dining prepared by world-class chefs in the Britannia Restaurant, the ship’s grand three-tier dining venue. As an added bonus, guests can experience the culinary creativity of celebrity chef Todd English in the first restaurant at sea bearing his name.
Nights are filled with themed Royal Balls and Galas where guests can dance the night away to a live orchestra in the Queens Room, the largest ballroom at sea. Days are filled with such activities as perusing a vast selection of 8,000 books in the largest library at sea, enjoying traditional afternoon English tea or exploring the Cosmos in the only planetarium at sea.
Queen Mary 2’s Transatlantic Crossings reflect the pinnacle of civility in ocean travel and refinement. The only company offering regularly scheduled Transatlantic liner service, Cunard offers 25 crossings in 2009, singularly offering the New Golden Age of Ocean Travel through such unique Cunard experiences as Cunard Insights, the line’s award-winning enrichment programme. The six-day Crossings afford guests opportunities for leisurely pursuits, ranging from wellness in the only Canyon Ranch SpaClub® at sea to wine tastings with a world-class sommelier.
James Taylor will become part of Cunard’s illustrious history of hosting famed entertainers with peerless cachet. Notables such as Elizabeth Taylor, Rita Hayworth, Cary Grant and Clark Gable frequently crossed the Atlantic on Cunard’s earlier Queens, Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth; and since Queen Mary 2’s debut five years ago, the ship has welcomed musical notables such as Rod Stewart, Shirley Bassey, Harry Connick, Jr. and Lenny Kravitz. In addition, actors Uma Thurman, Angela Bassett, John Cleese, Richard Dreyfuss and Terence Howard have sailed aboard the grand liner.
To book passage on this very special voyage aboard Queen Mary 2, consult your Travel Professional, call toll-free 1-800-7-CUNARD or go online to www.cunard.com.
June 19 – I wonder if Heidi would let me slip away and listen to the great man ……………. anyway, I am sure that this will be a concert performance to remember not only for the people listening to his incomparable music but for James himself as he performs on the most incomparable ship in the world.
I receive many letters each week I am CD and as you know I try and share as many as I can with you. This one is a very special one and after a tough day it was a joy to read.
Laughter is indeed a great medicine although it is not always easy to prescribe ……… let me explain.
After the 8:30 pm show I received a call from the Guest Services Desk stating there was a family waiting to see me. Now, I explained that I had a meeting planed with a reporter who is sailing this week but the GSA said that I should come as they were quite upset. ……. and indeed they were. They were very angry indeed because the comedian who for obvious reasons I won’t name had made some comments about “large people” and that they felt humiliated.
Now, before we get into this let me say that I immediately apologized and sat and listened to their comments for 40 minutes. They were, like myself, large people. In fact, two were big enough to require a motorized scooter. I sympathized with them and promised that I would have the comedian do the same in person, which indeed he did. I called him and he came straight away to say how sorry he was…………they left still angry and also saying that the costumes were too “revealing” in last night’s Nightclub Express show……I will follow up with them tomorrow and make sure their comments are all documented.
So, let’s discuss this a moment. The comedian in question is one many of our regular guests will have seen and like both shows tonight many of you will have given him a standing ovation. So, why did the guests feel embarrassed by his “fattish” comments?
Well, probably because he is not really overweight himself. It often puzzles me how certain words can be so offensive yet if said by certain groups of people it becomes as commonplace and accepted as any other word in the English language
If a “bigger/overweight” comedian had said the same material I doubt there would have been a problem………..but there was………..and nothing is more important than our guest’s happiness and that’s were the subject should end………….or does it?
Of course, members of the public have the right to protest about what they think is insulting on stage, screen or in an art gallery or book. After all, there is a long history of the arts offending people. Fine, provided the protesting doesn’t gag freedom of artistic expression. Culture that upsets people and makes them think is usually a positive ………… at least that’s what I would like to think.
I watch some of these HBO comedy specials and honestly, I can’t believe some of the things they say on there. I saw a comedian a few weeks ago while I was in the Miami hotel who made fun of every single denomination, sexual orientation and disability there and did so using the most foul language I have ever heard………..and it was a woman ……..I wish I could remember her name………both her first and last name began with the same letter but I just can’t remember the name. Anyway, as offensive as she was the camera shots of the audience showed tears of laughter dripping down every face and unbelievably not one of them ran on stage and smacked her in the mouth…………and I kid you not, every other word……….I mean every other word was the “f” word.
I guess I am old fashioned. Time moves on, habits change and as a result what would once have shocked the nation to its core is now considered normal.
And yet, while you’re happy to watch this toilet-mouthed woman or a televised autopsy, you would be astonished and amazed if Hilary Clinton were to make a speech this afternoon in which he described President Sarkozy of France as a “f***ing idiot.”
Why? You hear the f-word all the time, and so do your children. Buzz Aldrin used it on the moon and we know it nestles in the vocabulary of both The Queen and Donald Trump but we can be sure because journalists can’t use it in print. Don’t you think that’s weird? I can say a couple had rumpy pumpy so obviously it isn’t the act itself that causes offense, just the word. And I can’t quite work out why.
If words move into and out of common parlance so quickly, has the f-word been a taboo for so long except on HBO and Steven Segal movies?
My Dad always told me that those who swear are simply demonstrating they have a limited vocabulary. That can’t be so because this afternoon I trapped my finger in the wardrobe door………and it hurt……. sometimes only the f-word will do.
Anyway, I will make sure I do all I can to help these guests and hope they forgive our transgressions.
I also have to be careful what I say here on my blog thingy and even though I have a disclaimer I still have to make sure I don’t upset anyone…….but that’s not always easy. You see, I have always spoken my mind and I have always done so in the hope that people will always understand that its just my opinion and I have never ever said or written something with the sole purpose to offend someone ……….. ummmm …….. well apart from Le French.
I know that when I give my opinions on global warming and polar bears men with beards go onto the internet and put my name and address in their To Be Killed folders. I’ve always felt like a bit of beef dripping in a big vat of tofu.
Talking of Range Rovers…………….Heidi went to an auction yesterday and bought a private number plate for my despicable non-environmentally friendly vehicle which as soon as I get home I will sell and buy a skateboard made of recycled toilet paper ………… anyway, unlike personalized number plates in the USA, they are quite expensive in the UK………but Heidi got a bargain………..here it is.
Yesterday I received a rather tasteless comment which for obvious reasons Stephanie did not post on the blog. It contained the f-word five times and suggested that they would love “to shut me up.” It also trashed Carnival as a cruise line.
Now I’ve seen Goodfellas, and as a result I know that “shutting someone up” is Martin Scorsese speak for having someone killed. So, if my Range Rover has broken an iceberg and overheated a puffin, I apologize. Or if I have said something on this blog that has upset this person again I say sorry — truly I do — and if someone finds my body under a pile of unused rocks please know that I was probably whacked by a vegetarian man with a beard who had a French accent who just before giving me a bullet behind the ear said he was a member of a secret and sinister society called……….. “The Royal Champions.”
Goodnight
Your friends
BlOG HJ………….and The Thingy
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
It’s amazing how tweaked some people can get about certain things. Admittedly, I am a Carnival fan… a huge Carnival fan. Many people have accused me of being a cheerleader and I guess that may be the case but I can’t imagine being so upset by comments from someone who sails on the No-Steak-for-you of the Seas that I would result to being vulgar and threatening. Pity that person can’t work and play well with others.
James Taylor… Sweet Baby James in concert on the Queen Mary 2… stunning. How fortunate the folks on that crossing will be. I’m green with envy!!!
Oh… by the way… that was Lisa Lampanelli… Yep… foul mouthed to the extreme…
All my best to Heidi, the Thing and all of the wonderful blog folks!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
john,
The Comedian you saw on HBO was probably Lisa Lampanelli. Sounds like her anyway, she makes Andrew Dice Clay look like Captain Kangaroo.
Dear John,
The comic you’re referring to is Lisa Lampinelli. She’s as crude and vulgar as they come. I like crude and vulgar but sometimes to me she goes to far and she’s not funny at all. I’ll personally stick to Carlos Mencia, Dave Chappelle, and the late great George Carlin.
-Marc G
Hi John!
The James Taylor concerts sound like quite an event. Very impressive.
What a shame with the parents of the 2 boys. Big surprise that they couldn’t be bothered.
Some good itineraries ahead next year for Spirit and Dream.
Thanks for posting your opinion and take care!
David
Royal Champions don’t hurt John he is definitely not alone….
Even though I don’t know when I’m going to be able to cruise again I’m happy to know that Carnival is going to be an option for Alaska. GOOD!!
Loved the letter! It’s so true…
I have just seen the two videos of “yesterday” blog love them but they made me realize how much I miss you
Miss you JOHN!! I need a huggo from John!!
Did Heidi receive the gift?? Hope I made her smile. Sending a big hug HEIDI!!
Nanni
Hey John:
What’s the possibility that the “large” woman and her husband were the same ones that were so rude on the tour to take up someone else’s spot on the bus?
Usually that is the way it is….those that complain are the very ones that infringe on someone else and think nothing of it.
Kinda makes you wonder if there will come a time when comedians will no longer be allowed to speak…
Should these folks ever read your blog….my suggestion to them is to “get over yourselves”.
I am with you about the comedians that fling 4 letter words with every breath. Personally, I don’t find it funny; but I would never complain about it because some people do….and that is their right.
Since I don’t like that kind of humor….I just don’t go to the midnight comedy show.
I agree with your Dad that this kind of lack of communication skills does tend to “define” someone as uneducated and lazy.
Just a note to Christy….Cruise Critic just had someone who sailed on the Conquest and for the most part did ok with the Gluten Free diet…but they did have a couple of issues. I saved their comment and will be glad to send it to her, if she will email me at musicalcruiser@hotmail.com.
This is a difficult diet, but so important to children with Autism for whom this diet has worked well.
Linda (Mom of your friend~missing Dad who is in Philadelphia~DJ)
John, it looks like we may hear from your sister very soon after you said this about her. “By the way, the Arcadia is calling in Hong Kong …maybe I should get Sue Drip to go and visit and write a blog for us about it……….I only need to tell her she will get free drinks and she will be there.”
Looking at your sister’s pictures on Facebook and seeing pictures of your parents all can say is they must have adopted you from the ASPCA or the UKSPCA, LOL.
BIG ED
Hi John, Steph and Heidi,
Please reply, thanks.
Firstly, to address the children out fighting whilst the parents are asleep.
This is an example of the common complaint many cruisers have of children left unattended and being problematic. In the States the parents would be charged with child endangerment. It’s a wonder there have been no children OB’d (overboard) all these years with this carelessness.
Next, regarding the Alaska sailing from Seattle. We say Hooray! We found the experience going thru airport Customs at Vancouver very taxing. It would be so nice to not have to deal with that on our next Alaska cruise. One issue we do have is does this iten mean there will not be a sailing into Glacier Bay? Can the Excursions department make a visit to Buchart Gardens as a choice while in Victoria, BC?
We are leaving in 5 days on Ecstasy (Cabin#R132 )
and we read that ACD Kirk from our sailing with Bubba on Carnival Spirit will be our CD! We have booked the CruiseMates January 2010 sailing on Carnival Conquest, which, unless we sail again between April and December, will be our 10th. Yeah Platinum!
Thanks
Phil & Liz
Hi John,
Stephanie can just send an email to response.
I will be on the 5/10/09 sailing of the Pride. I made super club reservations for Saturday, the last night at sea. Was that a good idea? Typically we make our super club reservation for the middle of the cruise, buy my Dad wants to end the cruise with a nice dinner…and we love the lobster. Please let me know if you think dinning in the club the last night at sea is a problem and since it is the last night at sea, have they ever run out of the fabulous lobster?
Also, this will be my parents 60th w/a cruise we will be in cabin 7203 – Could we surprise them with something fun? Either at dinner or in the stateroom?
..one more question do you know yet if Ron (piano man) will be on the TA Dream 10/27?
Thanks for your help and suggestions -
All my best to you, Heidi and Thingy,
Debs
Love the license plate and can’t believe she found that! I just read on the link from Big Ed about the Royal Champions–that is a bit underhanded isn’t it? Geez, can’t we just keep loyalties civil and out in the open?
Thank you John for anwering my question about the tips–that makes me feel better that they do know what I give them is “extra”–I always get the smiles though and OMG I love Romie! After spending 31 days with these people, they were like family. He was so good to my grandchildren when we cruised over Thanksgiving as well…I’m hoping he will be on the “Dream Team” with Ken and I’m hoping Sonja and my favorite cabin steward Eddie will on be on the Dream when we sail as a family next April. I was not in Eddie’s cabin section this time but what a memory–he remember me and even showed me what two cabins we were in on that Thanksgiving cruise!! Wow, that’s quite a memory.
About the bacon–it was correct that they seem to have “control” of it now but that really didn’t bother me. If I wanted more, I just told them.
Hi BlOG HJ:
I noticed the bacon service during the Blogger Cruise on the Fantasy out of NOLA. Thought it was helpful, didn’t consider it miserly.
Not a problem, a rasher (3 pieces) is ok, and if you want more, it was given. What is hard to watch is the folks that pile up mountains of food, pick at it a little and then it goes into the garbage. Not to say that the poster is one who tosses lots of bacon, but maybe the wait in line for the bacon was too much to bear.
At lunch I have seen people take eight of the chicken strip thingys. Two or three is a lot to eat, even for a big fellow like me. If they eat it, great, but throwing out more than you ate is wrong. Hard to keep the container full when folks are taking about 4 portions each.
Sometimes the bacon sticks together and people take much more than they will eat because it is hard to get just a few pieces. Did you know three slices (a rasher) of Carnival bacon is about 500 calories?
So, thanks for serving the bacon, I appreciate the service.
Nice ride you have.
your friend
Bill Heck
Hi John,
Love your vehicle plates.
As for the vulgar comments, don’t worry about it. For ever 1 person that is upset with you there are a 1000 of us who love you. Besides that, some people just can’t be happy unless they’re giving someone else a bad time.
Florence
I think the lady comic is Lisa Lampanili (sp?) and she is quite raw and offensive. You either love her or hate her. Personally I don’t care for her humor, there are much funnier comics out there.
Lisa….freezing my *** off in the midwest.
John,
I just wanted to let you know that on the Carnival Elation’s 2/15/09 sailing, we could not access your blog for free.
Hopefully they will have it working by my 7/1/09 sailing on the Carnival Spirit to Alaska.
Thank you so much for all your help.
Spencer
Good evening John. Thank you once again for answering my questions. We are really looking foeward to the Dream cruise in January 2010 and we will use the LEX program ahain.
It’s amazing how some children can be running around the ship late at night while their parents are sleeping without concerns of what they do.
I agree with you a great deal that laughter is indeed a great medicine. I experienced it earlier in my life while I was laying bed in the hospital with a stroke. I needed something to pick me up since I didn’t think life was lost. I had this guy form Texas in my room and since I couldn’t talk, he did the talking for the two of us. He was so funny and even though I couldn’t speak I had tears in my eyes, running down my face, he kept my thoughts being positive. Laughter I think was one reason that helped me come back to quick. Where ever that man is today, I thank you Tex.
I’m sorry that you had to receive such a tasteless comment with so many F-words from a tasteless human being. After reading such a lovely letter from that person that had cancer to that comment sort of tells you what our world is Like. I hope that there are more positive, happy people like you around. I appreciate all that you do and help others. Thank you my friend.
Paul F. PIetrangelo
Hi John,
Please reply to this comment. I have been reading a Princess Catalog and noticed that they did some days with crafts onboard. I think this may have been popular during “The Love Boat” shows. I think there might be an interest again in making some crafts and taking a class while onboard. As a frequent cruiser, I am now tired of the tour of the: bridge, galley, napkin folding and towel animals etc.
I love Carnival with Princess being my second choice, but only if I can’t get to the port via Carnival..however something new to pass the sea days would be welcome to us “older cruisers who actually don’t get off at every (Been there done that) port.
I enjoy your blog and hope to see it continue for many years
Donna
Heidi – PLEASE REPLY
Now that the Netherlands are a force to be reckoned with in the World Baseball Classic, having knocked off the favored Dominican Republic not once, but twice, when can we expect Thingy Heald to be a member of the Netherlands baseball team?
Seriously, I am rooting for the Netherlands to continue their march through baseball’s best.
Jon
PS – John, I have no need for an autographed picture of Dolly Heald. Of course, I could use it to scare criminals straight I suppose.
Thanks for the reply! Since I teach the age of the boys you had the little incident with, I understand everything completely. I have parents like that more and more these days, unfortunately. It seems that most parents don’t want to be bothered with having to be a parent!!
Keep up the good work!
Hello John,
First I wish you would talk to the spring breakers that gave the champagne to the WWII vet and his wife. Please tell them that the bloggers are proud of them. It seems just when you think they just cause problems, then they do something like that. Great!
Hope you get the internet and blog reading situation solved because we were not planning on bringing the laptop this time and we would still like to read the blog.
The problem with the two brothers that were fighting is the parents. If they don’t care there isn’t much you can do about it. Probably the parents need a little babysitting too.
Do you know what the demographics will be for our 3/22 Carnival Valor cruise? Will we have a lot of kids? As long as they’re like the above mentioned group that will be fine.
Say Hi to Heidi for us.
Linda & George
Dear John,
I’m quite sure that the “Carnival Elation” fan club would like to hear more about her future itineraries…..hopeful that she will return to Cabo San Lucas we remain.
Some very nice photos of her sail out from drydock appear on the CC board for all to see.
John,
Please respond if you can
Just recently discovered your Blog and now I read it every day, helps to lesson my withdrawal between cruises. I have never cruised with you but I hope out paths cross sometime in the future. I have been on 3 cruises so far, Imagination, Triumph and Legend and have loved all 3. Currently booked on my 4th the Freedom on 9/26
I love cruising on carnival – have never been on any other line and don’t think I ever will, I love carnival so much that I would love to work for carnival as an IS Officer, can you put me in touch with or have any advice me to apply to work aboard ship or on land in the IT department, do you know if it would be passable to meet the IS officer when I am aboard the Freedom in September
Thank You
Fraser
John Please Reply,
First off, just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading the blog-it makes the waiting for my next cruise more tolerable.
On to my question-my sis and I are sailing on Carnival Victory 4-26-09. We’ve been trying to book our shore excursions online since we hit the magic “120 days until” day. I’ve ended up calling the shore excursions department 3 times and was told 3 different answers as to if and when shore excursions are going to get posted. Is there any way you can help me? My sis and I don’t want to miss out on anything that we’ve planned!
Thanks a bunch!
JenJen
John Please reply.
I was thinking about becoming a part of Carnival’s entertainment staff, and I would like some insight first hand on how it is. The two jobs that interest me the most are the production singer (male) and social host jobs.
Also if its not too much may I get a list of all the production shows and what ship they are on.
Thank you so much Mr. John, and after traveling on carnival and the bigplainwallclimbingnotsogoodshows of the seas
carnival cruise is by far the best.
Thanks and Fun for all, All for fun!!!
John thanks for the early posting of the blog. I was able to read it before Don decides it is bedtime.
I found a website about geocoaching if you would like to read about it. It sounds like a lot of fun.
http://vacation-tip.com/2008/05/geocoaching-is-the-new-game-in-town/
Tell Heidi hi for us. I’m sure the days are creeping along very slowly for her. But it won’t be long until you are back home with her and only a little more than 2 months until the WLO (wee little one) will make it’s appearance.
Are we going to all start making bets on whether it will be a boy or girl baby?
Countess Carolyn…….. 18 days until our John-less cruise on the Valor…………….. sigh
John,
Hhhm. Irrational behavior from a fan of the “Whatever of the Seas.” Seems the runner-up cruise line has to resort to paying folks (some of which have never sailed on RCCL) to post “Positive” reviews on the popular cruise websites. How gauche! Actually, I’m not all that surprised, given the amount of money they dumped into such a weird and out-of-touch series of television ads. The ads actually reminded me of the Terry Gilliam animations from the classic Monty Python series, minus the imagination and irreverence.
It’s funny. I was at the stylist today getting my hair cut and she asked me how my vacation was. I told her about our incredible experience in New Orleans and our volunteer work at Westside park and then I mentioned that it was Carnival that setup the volunteer experience and presented the organization with a check for $5,000. I then talked about our cruise along the Mississippi and on to Mexico. She then hit me with that tired old misconception, “Oh, Carnival? I would never cruise with them, they have a lot of drunk, party people on their boats and the food is terrible. Royal Caribbean is SO much better.”
Well John, I suppose you can guess what happened next. I related the fact that, not only is Carnival cruise lines the most popular in the world, they consistently out-rank RCCL in almost ALL categories by the most respected names in the cruise industry. I also gave her an education on the Carnival cuisine and the heritage of George Blanc and his culinary institute. I also told her of our own blogger chef, Kevin McVeigh and how he applauded the chef on the Carnival Fantasy on the quality of the food. She was in shock. I told her that what she was referring to was based on mostly rumours and tired old misconceptions.
I was also speaking from experience, as Ilda and I sailed on the “Boring of the Seas” once. That was enough. It couldn’t come close to our collective experiences aboard the many fine Carnival ships we’ve cruised upon. Besides, the food was mediocre at best.
So, if “The whatever of the seas” has to resort to an under-handed, viral marketing to try and create a “buzz” about their product, it means only one thing. They are running scared!
Here’s to you, my friend. Give our best to Heidi and the Thingy.
Lance & Ilda
John, Sometimes you just can’t please everyone, but Carnival seems to do a lot better job than ifyoudon’tlikeitgosomewhereelseoftheseas. Been there, so we came back and stayed. The roundtrip Alaska sailing out of Seattle sounds great. It is a wonderful itinerary and we’ve done it twice. Airfare in and out of Seattle is a lot cheaper than out of Vancouver. John, that Passenger services act has been around for a long time and nobody seems to be able to tell me why you must port in a foreign country. This makes no sense, unless someone is making a profit from it. Please reply. Our travel agent, Jody Oblad from Destinations will be joining you on the Splender on the short cruise out of San Francisco. She has been in the travel industry for a while now and has never been on a Carnival ship so if you would please, give her a shout out from us make her feel at home. 10 more days till the Victory sails. ( With us on board of course) Tell Heidi & the Thingy hello Larry & Connie
John, please reply if at all possible: I’m a college student at the university of Central Oklahoma, and I just have to make a comment about your post about when your dad would get your college report card.. Well I must let you know that at my college they are real cheap and send your grades via email. Yes, email. Not to my parents email, who pay for my college (thanks mom and dad!). But to my email. Want to request a transcript? You must request it through email. I think its safe to say that the internet is taking over the world. Well, school is actually where I am asking for your help. I’m in a class called Global protocol and Diversity, and I have a project where I have to interview somebody from outside the country. Its an interview about traditions, customs, and pop culture, and I was wondering if I could do a brief interview with you via email or while I’m on board the Valor March 15 through the 22nd. My family and I are very excited to go on this cruise, especially my fiance, because it is his first! My parents decided to go back to Carnival after sailing a couple of RCI, as they felt like the value and staff on board were less than par. We had so much fun on the elation ten years ago, when I was just a little girl, ten years ago. We are counting down the hours! Thank you for your time, my email is jjlashley@Cox.net, or my cabin number next week is 9259. Warm regards to you, Heidi, and the thing!
Jordan
Linda (Mom of DJ),
I must say that I am very suprised how quickly you have judged the “large” people on John’s cruise this week. Just because two complained about what was said during a show doesn’t mean they were the same two from the bus. In fact, if they were, I’m sure John would have said so.
I do not go to a show to have to listen to a comedian complain about large people. Maybe if it had been a midnight show it wouldn’t have bothered me as much. Us larger people have enough problems fitting in (no pun intended) than to have someone on stage telling everybody what our problem is. It is almost as bad as if they were up there making fun of the AJ’s of the world.
As you said..I guess I just have to “get over myself” and pray that they never make fun of DJ in front of hundreds of people and someone tells you to “get over yourself.
Dear John (Please reply),
It was only the other day when I wrote you about Carnival Spirit. When she comes to Seattle, who will be the CD if & when Chris call it quits after his and Julie’s wedding in October?
The Thingy should be about a year old by then when the Spirit repositions in Seattle. What I’m trying to tell you is that our offer to the three of you still stands. If you cannot take a vacation, maybe a few hours here and there during the ship’s turn around will suffice if you fill in for a vacationing CD of the Carnival Spirit. If you happen to sign on/off here in Seattle, that will work too.
How about Jaime? She survived being the fill in CD on Carnival Pride. I think she can fill in on the Spirit as well. Who knows, the luck of Chris & Julie might rub off on her here in Seattle.
Good luck Jaime. May you find your “Mr. Right” soon.
Amor
Dear John,
Please respond;
I was wondering what kind of lens Geo used to take the shots, of the Destiny.
Those by the way are excellent and I love the black and white one.
Thank you
Hi John,
Sad day today for me as I go to the funeral service for my Dad. He passed on Friday from cancer. They originally gave him 3-5 years in January. Then two weeks ago they revised it to 3 weeks.
http://www.legacy.com/theadvocate/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=125012246
He never got to travel very much on vacations and such. I am so glad that me and my wife decided to cruise while we are still young and physically able instead of waiting for our retirement years.
Dave
You know John, if that person finds your blog so offensive, that means you really hit a nerve because you are right about what you are saying.
I was booked on more than one cruise on the Steakisntfree of the Seas because I was so disappointed that Carnival wasn’t going to be in Europe much this year BUT I have since came to my senses, canceled those cruises and re-booked with Carnival. Carnival is my home away from home and I will always be loyal to them because I’ve been treated so well.
However, if you do get whacked, can I have your job?
Melissa
Good morning John.
Thanks agaun for a wonderful time on the Blooger’s Cruise. I hope Sallie and I will be fortunate enough to sail again with you during your duties away from your “Duties”. No vacation time left to do either of the BC’s for 2009. Every effort short of quitting my job will be made to see you in April for the Pride’s arrival. That brings me to my question. I have tried to get info on the p/t positions filled by folks my age, mature, for embark/debark in port. It’s been like looking for a needle in a haystack. I doubt if I’m even on the right farm. Are they Carnival jobs or port authority jobs? This was a question I had posed in the resume section when I filled out the Fun Jobs form. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
Regards,
Michael…one of your X-dressers in black lace.
Thanks for the information regarding paying to read your blog while on a ship. I thought it must just be me when I found I would have to pay for this on the Splendor. It was a disapointment, but I caught up when we got home.
Now I’m going to the Carnival website to check on the schedule for the Dream. I really want to go to Costa Maya again! Jeri
dude! i don’t agree with not posting that horrible sounding comment. i would have edited it and put f*** in where he said the bad word and stuff like that and i would have also included his incoming address. and let us take care of him! bwahahahaha
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
John:
FYI, family time playing board games isn’t quite dead (although it probably is in critical condition)! We use games (have you tried Blokus?), including board games, card games (go fish, Uno) and even Wii games as a way to keep a family connection. When we see life getting too fast, we’ll make time (even if it’s only 15-20 minutes before bedtime) for this. And it’s easy to throw some cards in our bags for vacations, too!
Great pictures from Geo, again! Is it possible for us to get an idea of what’s involved in a “typical” dry dock period? Where do they do this? Does the crew (esp. entertainment, housekeeping, bar staff, etc.) stay on board to help with any aspects? The end result is obvious in some ways (well-kept ships with modern amenities and decor), but I suspect there is a lot more that happens that we’re not aware of.
As to vulgarity, I think it’s often overdone. Some seem to feel it’s necessary to insert foul language to convey a feeling or emotion that they can’t otherwise express. While occasional instances aren’t offensive to me (especially dependent on context), I don’t want or need to hear it every other word.
I love the license plate, too.
Regards to Heidi, Thingy, and the blog crew!
Rick H.
John
I think the cruise for California that James & Nancy suggested is an excellent idea; why not visit Vancouver BC and that would add your foreign country. I would love to cruise the California coast with Carnival. Good cruise for the Splendor to consider if there is an off time for the Mexican Riviera.
John I have been a big guy for all my adult life. I was always comfortable with my weight. Jokes by comedy acts have never bothered my but then I never had to use a scooter to get around. Personal attacks about someones weight would be different. It was not until my size began to affect my health did I become concerned.
When you began talking last year about weight loss I started to take it more serious. Big Tex has been a great insperation. I had a chance to talk with Big Tex during the bloggers cruise and it only added to my determination. I had started my weight loss program again the first of this year. I had lost about 30 pounds heading into the bloggers cruise and was concerned that the cruise food would blow the diet plan. Well I avoided the buffet’s and stuck with mostly the fish and shrimps and still lost another 3 pounds while on the cruise. I figured if Big Tex could live on a cruise ship and still loose weight then I could do it for a week. I am still loosing weight and now down 45 pounds for the year and 60 total from last summer.
As I approach my mid 50′s I am getting a new lease on life. We are taking all the grandkids on cruises this year and enjoying life.
Oh BTY, we are also hosting a Carnival Party east of Houston.
Dear John
Thanks for replying so quickly to my questions about darts and Geocaching. I’m not that much of a darts fan, as I don’t go to pubs but I do like the occasional game at home. I loved your description of how your games unfold as that’s what usually happens to us too.
As for Geocaching…as I said in my first email, geocaching is a world wide treasure hunting hobby. It started a few years ago when one individual wanted to test the accuracy of the Global Positioning System (GPS) by hiding some ‘treasures’ in the woods, and he posted the coordinates on the web. In a very short time the ‘treasures’ were found and a new world wide outdoor, adventure, treasure hunting hobby called Geocaching was born.
Here’s more information about how it all started.
http://www.geocaching.com/about/history.aspx
I heard of this new game about 18 months ago when my son in Ontario told me about his new hobby. I was intrigued as it’s a great way to get out of the house, away from the computer, spend time with your friends and family and explore. I bought a hand held GPS unit and now, whenever I get the chance we set off in search of a geocache. The fun is in the hunt, as, once we find the cache we usually just sign the log book to say we were there, and go in search of another one.
I went to Ontario last summer to join in with a large group of people at a geocaching event where several geocaches had been hidden in and around a small conservation area. We made many new friends that day, had great exercise, and great barbeque.
I have already researched and know that there are a small number of geocaches hidden near where the Carnival Destiny and Carnival Paradise dock at their ports of call on our two upcoming cruises, so while we are there, I am hoping to get a chance to look for them. If there are any other Geocachers sailing on the Carnival Destiny March 23rd, or the Carnival Paradise April 9th please let me know. Maybe we could look together…safety in numbers. I know other geocaching passengers on past cruises have already found these caches and have posted pictures on the web, with the Carnival ship in the background so they can’t be too hard to find.
This probably isn’t something that Carnival would be interested in organising as an excursion, but if there was a member of the crew who is also a geocacher, he or she could hide several caches in an area close to the ports-of-call and then take a group of interested geocachers to the location to find them. It would be something fun to do as a group, and dedicated geocachers would have their own GPS units with them anyway, so you wouldn’t have to provide them.
Anyway, that’s something about Geocaching. It’s a really fun thing to do for young and old and any age in between. Thanks for listening.
All the best…Irene
(9 sleeps)
Hello John,
I just recently found your blog and love it. I read it everyday at work which must tell you I haven’t been busy lately. I am currently book for the Inspiration sailing November 30 along with my husband and sister. I cannot wait…..sailing in 263 days.
I am really writing about one of my coworkers. Last August she and her fiance got engaged on one of your ships. Well as would be expected they started making plans for a big wedding. Then a thingy came along. So, they cancelled the wedding to be set on September 26 (which is her due date) and went to the court house to get married. They are booked for a cruise to set sail March 28 on the Destiny for a quick honeymoon. I was going to get them a bottle of wine but since she is pregnant I can’t. I was wandering if you could do something nice for them since things took a pleasant but unexpected turn for them. Their room number is 7255.
Thanks Summer
Princess Susan:
I don’t know what world you have been living in but comedians make fun of disabilities all the time.
In fact, DJ’s favorite comedian (Larry the Cable Guy) had entire skits about folks with mental and physical disabilities and it have never bothered us at all.
Why? Because we are smart enough to know that they are not laughing at DJ….they are laughing WITH HIM…and there is a huge difference.
This comedian did not specifically point out this person and commit public ridicule. He made a fat joke.
And yes, you and others should get over it. DJ is not embarassed because he has a disability. If you are embarassed because you are fat than that suggests you have a larger problem than being overweight.
Try a little self confidence instead of self defense.
Linda (Mom of DJ)
There were some comments about the repositioning cruise for the ships on the West Coast. Princess has a 5-7 day cruise up the coast every May. I took the one on the Diamond Princess 2 years ago – LA/San Diego/Santa Barbara/San Francisco/Astoria, Or/Victoria and end in Vancouver. Then the Noordam had a 1-day cruise from Vancouver back to Seattle which several of us also took. Lovely itinerary. I know Carnival would do well with that. I was supposed to be on another Princess repo up the West Coast again this year, but being a victim of the economy and losing my job last year put a crimp in my cruising.
I also know the hurt a comedian can do with comments about heavy people. I was on a South American cruise several years ago and I had to get up to take a potty break and came up the aisle just as the comedian was coming down the aisle. He made some very rude comments to me – got a lot of laughs from the audience, but he almost got cussed out from me as he followed me and made fun of me as I was leaving. I am a very big woman who travels alone and I am the first to laugh at myself, but don’t need someone to be insulting who I don’t know. I reported him and got a letter of apology from NCL. Only time that happened.
Dave Thomas, we cruised on the NCL Spirit 1-1/2 years ago. I am so sorry about the loss of your dad. I pray that you will do well and hope we meet again soon. It was a pleasure to meet you on that cruise.
I am booked on BC4 and hope that my finances allow it to happen. I would love to meet John and everyone.
Please reply.
Remember me, we met at the Dallas commercial filming. I drew one of the names for the cruise Carnival gave away and the lady who won kissed me (yuck).
I read your blog about sailing on Carnival Spirit this summer. Please, Please, Please, make it on the June 24th.
I’m going with my Nana, my aunt and uncle, and cousin. It is my third cruise to Alaska and I could be your guide! I went on Princess when I was 7 with my great-grandmother, and when I was 10 with my Nana. I think you would be more fun than they were.
Garett (AKA Bob)
We play DISNEY monopoly with our 6 year old son (the short version of course) and he’s learning some good math skills, that’s for sure. Just wondering, is there a support group onboard for straight people?
P.S. I’m fat, and am in no way offended by fat jokes. Usually they are true. One can’t be sensitive about their weight if they are not willing to do something about it. I’m fat because I’m lazy, therefore I have no right to be upset if I am made fun of.
Dear John,
It seems like no matter what you say these days you are likely to offend someone. Why can’t American’s have a good sense of humor anymore? You could probably say something about poultry crossing some asphalt and someone would take offense to it.
I personally enjoy the adults-only comedy shows on Carnival and hope that they are not going anywhere anytime soon because of a few easily offended guests.
-Alex…
Hi John!
Too bad you won’t be there for the April 26 sailing!
I’m getting excited, only 45 days until we get to go onboard the Splendor for our wedding!
Please reply when you have the time!
Just a question about the Alaska cruises. In the notice above it said
“Port calls on these voyages include the popular Alaskan destinations of Skagway, Juneau and Ketchikan, as well as Victoria Island, British Columbia , and cruising Tracy Arm Fjord.”
Did they mean Victoria our capital city? Or Vancouver Island in general? I’m pretty sure that they meant Victoria the city (I’ve watched the cruise ships dock at Ogden Point many times!) Just wanted to point out that Vancouver Island is quite large and Victoria is the city! And a beautiful city it is! I love visiting my family there and there’s always something to do. The Royal BC Museum, the Wax Museum, the parliment buildings, Buchart Gardens, Center Of The Universe Observatory, The Maratime Museum, Bastion Sqare, Ross Bay Cemetary and so much more! Alright, I’ll stop with the glowing reccomendation now!
One other question before I bugger off and get back to work! I saw from Christy’s post that Carnival can accomodate a Celiac (gluten/wheat free) diet! This is awesome news as two of the people that are sailing with us for our wedding cruise are both Celiacs! I asked our group planner about it last year when we booked and they said it was not a problem. Then a couple months ago I received an email and was asked to fill out a form for each one of them. I faxed the medical request form to the appropriate office and a couple weeks after someone from Carnival called the two people and informed them that there’s pretty much nothing that can be done for them, other than gluten free bread and pasta! That definately helps but I’m worried for them with sauces and such at dinner. Is there someone in particular I should talk to to make sure that the kitchen is aware of their requirements? Thank you so much for your help John! You are a life saver!
All the best to Heidi and The thingy!
Sorry for your loss, Dave. We want to cruise as much as we can with our kids and grandkids. Just new to cruising a few years ago and wonder why we didn’t do it more when the kids were young. althought the economy has taken a whallop to our four o none K, we will use all the fun tickets possible to cruise and make those memories… In the meantime, you will be in our thoughts tonight. Perhaps your Dad is cruising in heaven?
Kap
John,
You should hire Gabriel Iglasis to perform onboard. He is hesterical. There are five levels of being overweight.
1. Large
2. Husky
3. Chubby
4. Fluffy
5. Damn!!!
Sounds like you had a couple of No. 5′s.
No problem cause they can always do some bald jokes and I will laugh along with them.
Life is too short not to be able to laugh about yourself. I hope we never get that serious.
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2some
Please respond John.
Hi John,
When is Carnival going to include a port stop in Costa Maya on a ship leaving from NEW ORLEANS?
I was forced to sail on a competitor’s line out of New Orleans in order to get there.
Also, if the Berlin Wall could come down, surely the wall between the Costa Maya port and Chac-Chi should be removed.
Here are way too many pictures from the Costa Maya visit in Dec 2008:
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/NCLSprit08/cm/cm.htm
Regards,
bill
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Dear John:
Several years ago we had the privilege of sailing with some marvelous entertainers some of which included Cab Calloway, Woody Herman, the very smooth Joe Williams and Anita O’Day (who shared our dining table with us), and a remarkable entertainer named Marty Allen (of the comedic team of Allen &Rossi). They all made themselves available to the cruisers, i.e.: the all dined with us; the musicians jammed spontaneously, and Marty & his beautiful wife sat with the audience to watch all the shows, shared jokes with us at the bars and made a point of telling us that no commedian has to be dirty to be funny. Needless to say, he had the admiration and applause of the entire ship. Cruising: what a way to go! “Fun for All . . . and All for Fun.”
All of these entertainers had “Class” but I remember
Hi John,
Just wanted to make a comment on the f* word and language in general. I have been doing a lot of research on 18th century england. In doing so I have discovered that the word “bloody” was an extremely foul oath then…akin to the saying the f* word now. Personally, I always thought bloody was a light and funny sort of cuss word. And it has evolved through time to just that. I guess eventually the f* word will not have shock value anymore, due to overuse. Wonder what will replace it?
John Please reply.
First I was thrilled to see the Carnival Spirit will be sailing From Seattle to Alaska! That made my day!
Second, I am getting ready to sail with my hubby, Randall on the Carnival Fascination, April 4th for our 28th wedding anniversary. I was so thrilled to find a Carnival Cruise, close to home that was leaving on our exact anniversary date. Very Cool!
Ok third, and the reason I am writing this post is something that has bothered me since Randall and I boarded on the Carnival Splendor on 12/06/08. I loved the cruise, but something happened that has just nagged at me. I was not going to say anything to anyone but I just think this situation was a little strange. Please tell me what you think:
Upon entering our cabin there was a beautiful rose in a vase on the dressing table. I saw it and thought how sweet that my hubby sent me a flower. Hubby then realizes that he left his cell phone in the embarkation area. I go to retreive the phone. While I am gone, a man from room service comes to the door and tells my husband that the rose was mistakenly put in our cabin, it was for someone else. My hubby says no you can not have that flower, my wife must have got it for me. I came back to the cabin after retrieving the cell phone from the pursers desk..umm sorry..guest services desk and Randall tells me about the man coming to the door. I said I did not send you the flower, he said I did not send it either but did one of our friends? (Well John, you had said to look for something in our cabin from you. I said well maybe it was from you.) Well the door knocked again and this time it was a lady from rooom service who said she was there to get the flower. She stated the flower did not belong to us and we could not keep it. I gave her the flower, she took it and left.
This bothers me because I felt like maybe someone had sent me this flower and they were taking it away. And if no one had sent it to us …was a rose really so costly that they could not have left it with us and sent another to the room they took it to? I know this is really small and petty,but I don’t see this type of service on Carnival and hope I don’t see it again. What do you think about it? Should they have left the flower? or should I just have given it back without question?
Julie
As this week is the air date for the final episode of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica…. I much prefer the use of frak as the substitute of F!
A simple but versatile word causes so much angst ….. How odd…No ….
How strange
People are strange when you’re a stranger,
Faces look ugly when you’re alone.
When you’re strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you’re strange
No one remembers your name
The Flying (Frakkin) Dutchman
Tracy Arm is by far the most scenic trip there is. On my trip I saw unbelievable calving glaciers, bears, humpback whales, killer whales, beautiful waterfalls and much more. I definitely recommend going to Tracy Arm. In fact, there is a movie on Tracy Arm called “Alaska, The Tracy Arm Experience”. The film captures the beauty of this incredible place. You can buy the film here from Film Baby:
http://www.filmbaby.com/films/4148
I highly recommend Tracy Arm. If you get a chance, experience it yourself. And don’t forget to buy the film too!
Anyone who publicly admits to owning a Roomba is pretty much exempt from mockery. ,