I am writing to you while sitting in a hard back chair and sitting as straight and upright as a meer cat that’s just eaten a few Viagra pills………….because I have a terrible back pain. I know it’s not necessarily a sign of aging – young men have bad backs too – but as I stood tentatively doing stretching exercises this morning I realized there was a difference between old men’s bad backs and young men’s bad backs.
I realized this when Goose the cruise director of the Carnival Splendor asked me how I injured my back. Now, a young man would have been able to give him an answer like “Oh, I was running in the Iron Man contest and just as I finished the 300 mile run a felt a twinge…………or………..I was having rumpy pumpy with 23 Latvian women and while I was hanging from the chandelier I pulled a muscle.” Anyway, Goose looked at me expecting such tales of heroics…….instead, I just said, with an air of resignation: “I don’t know.” Such was my condition I couldn’t even accompany my answer with a decent shrug.
However, my back pain was the last thing on my mind after my usual trawl through the morning’s news. I came across an article in the Washington Post (http://voices.washingtonpost.com/checkup/2009/03/do_older_dads_make_dumber_kids.html) which almost literally added insult to injury. New research shows that children conceived by men over 45 do badly in intelligence tests. In short, old dads produce stupid kids. At first I wasn’t too worried because I am 44. And then I became pissed off with the world and myself for not giving Heidi a bun in the oven before. Then after an hour of depression mixed with lashings of back pain, I realized that if my Thingy was not the brightest bulb on the tree at least it would give me some comedic stories for the blog.
There must be thousands of fabulous “my stupid kid” anecdotes left untold because stupid kids tend to be the offspring of stupid parents rather than great raconteurs. Or, at least, I always assumed as much. This new research changes everything. If I’m going to be the first aged Dad to get a whole blog out of his slightly dim Thingy. I am already preparing myself for “the funny things kids say” stories I will be telling my friends and you here on the blog. Of course, children are beautiful and innocent and, as William Wordsworth said, come “trailing clouds of glory,” but some of the parents I know are still inclined to view them chiefly as things to talk about. And let’s face it, “Porsche likes Dora the Explorer” or “Peter finished his math homework by 7 pm” will not be in the same league as my groundbreaking “My Thingy set fire to the next-door neighbor’s cat because he thought it looked cold.”
The big test of whether a man is too old to be a father always seems to be whether he’ll be able, when the time comes, to play sport with his children in the park. I take a different view. It is the great sadness of my life that I’ve combined an enormous passion for watching, reading and talking about sport with a complete inability to play it. I’ve no desire to reveal this humiliating fact to my Thingy.
If I instead stand, balanced on two walking-sticks, watching the Thingy happily kicking a ball about they will be none the wiser. Especially, as I’ll no doubt tell them I had trials for the Miami Heat and could easily have turned pro were it not for the back injury I sustained during a bedtime story. Obviously, they’ll be too stupid to question this story or indeed to question the logic of the fact that I am about 200 pounds overweight and about one foot too short to even get the Heat to look at me.
Oh, and another thing. When I see a man walking along with a child sitting on his shoulders, it always seems to me as if he’s parading a “My Healthy Sperm” trophy on a macho lap of honor. You’d never catch me doing that. Not with my back.
So, there is lot to look forward to. everyone tells me about the sleep deprivation……I get up three or four times to pee and poo in the night now anyway so a crying baby won’t bugger all difference to me………………….and most importantly…………….if my Thingy is a smart as Henry Kissinger or as dumb as…… ummmm………….me……..I shall love he or she unconditionally.
It’s 8:20 am and I am apparently the only bugger out of bed. The travel agents here in Los Angeles seem to be much more spirited than the ones who boarded in San Francisco …………..and when I mean spirited I am referring of course to Grey Goose, Bacardi and all their mates.
On Friday we go to film the new interactive Aquarium in LA and it will be wonderful to be able to explore this great city again. I grew up mistakenly thinking that Los Angeles was a dangerous place to live thanks to the way that the city is portrayed on TV .
When you think of Las Vegas, you think of casinos and the excesses of life; when you think of New York, you think of shopping and people who move from a to b at 2,000 miles an hour; and when you think of London – despite the best efforts our double chinned Scottish idiot of a prime minister to steer you in the direction a tofu restaraunt– you think of Big Ben and HM Queen and when you think of Paris you think of love……..that surprised you didn’t it………you thought I was going to say the smelly people waving white flags………..but I didn’t.
Rome has its architecture. Sydney has its bridge. Venice has its sewage and thanks to many television shows LA has its crime. Ask any Brit what comes to mind when they hear the words Los Angeles and they will say Hollywood and the place to go if you want to be shot, stabbed and eaten.
You could tell your mother you were going on a package holiday to Kabul, with a stopover in Haiti and a cruise through the pirate infested waters of Somalia, and she wouldn’t be bothered at all. But tell her you’re going to Los Angeles and she’ll be absolutely convinced that you’ll come home with no wallet, no watch and no head……………mine certainly did.
But I’ve been here more than my share and always come back with great memories. I have come to really appreciate this terrific city and all that it has to offer.
It seems that LA has an undeserved reputation for being a town with gangs of men with low slung pants that show the crack of their bottoms hanging out with their “house boys.”
Nevertheless, I shall look forward to my visit over the next few days and to prepare myself to blend in with the surroundings I will also be wearing my trousers at half mast so everyone can see my XL extra white Fruit of the Looms and I shall refer to Stephanie Leavitt and the camera crew who will be joining me as “my dog.”
So today I have already done two TV interviews for local TV called California Life and a channel called Wealth TV. This channel’s motto is it’s your life….Spend It Well. Considering AIG took all my money and spent it on Latvian women and bottles of 1947 Chateau De Bastardo it seemed ridiculous for me to be on a station with the word Wealth in the title ……………rather like putting Paris Hilton on the History Channel. I then did an interview for a local TV station and every reporter and interviewer I have spoken to has seemed so excited that the Carnival Splendor is in California……….and so they should be.
Last night the entertainment staff performed a 50’s and 60’s rock n roll show on the Lido deck. The dancers and singers all wore poodle skirts ……..well the girls did…….and they performed a series of dances to the live music of the orchestra and the brilliant Elite rock and roll band……………….it was a beautiful night and we were able to retract the roof. Now, at this point I was supposed to show you some photos of this but when I looked this morning there was bugger all there……..I mean………..bugger all there. It’s a new camera provided by Carnival and has a zoom lens that can show a man’s nose hairs 3 miles away………..but the bloody thing doesn’t take photos.
I hate gadgets ……………….with a true passion. Today, you have a video EyePod and a super model thin television set. You have a portable satellite navigation system, TIVO, a widescreen laptop, Flip thing video cameras, automatic sprinklers on your lawn and a cell phone that plays the James Bond theme when anyone calls.
This dramatic and frenzied burst of activity has created a new type of person. The gadget freak. And he is every bit as important to the world of consumerism as the last great marketing invention: the teenager.
Of course, to keep him happy, many new and useless things were invented. The home cinema. The La-Z-Boy electric massage chair recliner. The electric toilet seat, phones that take pictures, cameras that access the Internet and the list goes on an on. However, as the world of the Internet marches strongly along there is a price to pay………………the death of the newspaper.
I was speaking to a reporter about this yesterday and the news does not seem good. Is there a future for news served on paper? Some giant US titles, including The New York Times, sounded a warning a few months ago that they feared financial meltdown in the face of Mr. Google and Mrs. Yahoo. But just as technology is siphoning off the readers and advertising revenue of traditional, ink-on-paper newspapers, now it might be coming to their rescue.
On the news this morning (that’s TV news as in CNN) there was an article about flexible “e-paper” screens emerging from the labs will soon find their way into portable, lightweight, electronic readers the size of an A4 sheet of paper. They’ll eventually display a full-color electronic version of your daily paper, with moving graphics and video. You can turn the page by using your finger in a Matrix kind of way, rather than fumbling to control half a Brazilian rain forest on a crowded plane or train and accidentally sticking your elbow into the left breast of the lady sitting next you ………I personally will miss the good old fashioned newspaper……………….will you?
As I mentioned yesterday there was some excellent news regarding the Carnival Elation………….here is the official press release.
NEW FOUR- AND FIVE-DAY DEPARTURES TO CABO SAN LUCAS ADDED TO CARNIVAL ELATION’S EXISTING SCHEDULE FROM SAN DIEGO
MIAMI (March 25, 2009) – A new four- and five-day cruise option featuring day-long calls at Cabo San Lucas will be added to the Carnival Elation’s existing schedule from San Diego in July 2009, complementing the ship’s popular three- and four-day Baja program.
Carnival Elation – which emerged from a multi-million-dollar renovation last week with a host of new features — will operate the West Coast’s only three-, four- and five-day schedule, expanding upon the line’s industry-leading short cruise offerings. Roughly half of the “Fun Ship” fleet offers voyages of five days or less in length.
On its new schedule, Carnival Elation will operate a year-round series of four- and five-day cruises for a two-week period followed by another two weeks of three- and four-day Baja departures.
Four- and Five-Day Cruises to Cabo San Lucas
Beginning July 2, 2009, Carnival Elation’s four-day “long weekend” cruises will depart Thursdays and visit Cabo San Lucas. Two different five-day itineraries will also be offered. Five-day cruises departing Saturdays will feature the industry’s only itinerary that includes two full days in Cabo San Lucas, providing guests with a unique opportunity to enjoy one of Mexico’s most spectacular destinations. Five-day cruises departing Mondays will feature both Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada.
New Departure Days for Three- and Four-Day Cruises
The Carnival Elation’s three- and four-day cruises which currently depart on Thursdays and Sundays, respectively, will be changed to Fridays (three-day cruises) and Mondays (four-day cruises) starting with the July 20, 2009, four-day departure. These new departure dates offer guests an even more convenient option on these popular short cruise itineraries from San Diego.
“We’re always looking for ways to diversify our itinerary offerings to provide our guests with the widest variety of experiences ashore,” said Ruben Rodriguez, Carnival’s executive vice president of marketing and guest experience. “Carnival Elation’s new three-, four- and five-day cruise schedule and new itineraries visiting Cabo San Lucas offer our guests a truly unique selection of memorable vacation choices, all at a very affordable price,” he added.
The 70,000-ton Carnival Elation – the only cruise ship operating year-round from San Diego – offers a host of new facilities and features following an extensive renovation, as part of the line’s product enhancement program for its eight 70,000-ton Fantasy-class vessels.
Carnival Elation’s refurbishment included the addition of Serenity, an exclusive adults-only retreat, a new Circle “C” club geared to 12- to 14-year-olds, and expanded Lido-area dining options, including a new Mongolian Wok custom stir-fry station and an updated deli and dessert station. The Carnival Ecstasy’s suites were also remodeled and cosmetic enhancements were made to a variety of shipboard areas.
These features complement the ship’s myriad resort-style amenities, including 12 lounges and bars, three restaurants, four swimming pools, a 115-foot-long water slide, a 12,000-square-foot health and fitness center, an Internet café, and ship-wide Wi-Fi access.
Reservations are currently being accepted for all of the Carnival Elation’s three-, four- and five-day sailings from San Diego. For additional information and reservations, call 1-800-327-9501 (individual) or 1-800-327-5782 (groups) or visit the line’s travel agent Internet portal, bookccl.com.
And so the day continues with everyone having fun………….well nearly everyone. I was working once again in the Guest Services Pursers Office Relationship Desk as my lap top dancer has bugger all connection with anything. It was while I was blogging the first few lines early this morning that I heard raised voices coming from the desk.
There…………was a man who was letting the poor chap at the desk have both barrels because the casino is not open. It’s not open because we are going to nowhere and the country of Nowhere and it’s capital Middle of Nowhere are not recognized as a foreign port and therefore the state of California and its Govenator “terminated” our right to open the casino because we will “be back” without going foreign. This rather “barbarian” law has meant that we cannot open the casino. This really upset the guest from angrytravel.com and he was swearing and cursing at the purser.
He then said that he had just sailed on a similar cruise on what sounded like the “Alligator of the Seas” and that they had opened the casino. Whether he did or he was telling a load of “true lies” I don’t know but there was no way I was going to allow the Mr. Angrytravel.com to speak to a staff member like this. I listened to see if anyone else was going to jump to the purser’s defense but I guess it was down to me to be “The last action hero” as he really was giving our staff member a “raw deal.”
I introduced myself and asked the guest to stop shouting please. I also warned him that I would be reporting him to the sales team from Carnival who had invited him on the cruise for free and despite the casino not being open there was so much being offered. He then accused us of “being full of s%$t” and that the casino not being open had nothing to do with California laws but that it was a Carnival decision. I also said that we would loved to have had a chance to show everyone the brilliant gaming we had there and that if he wanted to take some money, put it in an envelope and slide it under the casino door he was very welcome to………..it would be the same process as some people who go in there.
Trying humor with him though was as pointless as Dove opening a factory in Paris because he then went on to tell me how much better everything was on the “Am I Bothered of the Seas”……………….the shows, the food, the service, the ship…………I mean………….what a bloody liberty. Carnival pays for this agent to come onboard and all he can do is talk about how better the competition is. It takes a special kind of rudeness to do that. Anyway, I have reported him to our VP of Sales and hopefully he won’t be invited to anymore of these events and the sales team can take an “Eraser” and wipe his name off the invitation list.
Sorry about all the Arnold references.
And now an apology…………..to a blogger who I met yesterday here on board who said although he liked my blogs he did not appreciate my comments about men ………….with beards. He really did……….and therefore I guess I should explain where this comes from as part of my apology to George Hicks, a travel agent from Oakland, California, and to all men with beards.
One of the weirdest things my dad ever told me was “never trust a man with a beard.” I’ve always wondered what happened to him that might have corrupted his view of hairy faces? He was in the army for his national service and I believe that they weren’t allowed to grow beards so maybe he’s always associated them with hippies.
How things have changed. I was reading a book the other day written by a soldier who had just returned from Afghanistan. He was being interviewed because, while out there, he and his comrades had been told to grow beards in an attempt to “show respect for the Pashtun culture.”
According to the Army, village elders have long beards, so the thinking is that when they see soldiers with beards arriving in their village they will assume that they are also wise fellows. When the soldier was asked whether he’d ever had his beard remarked upon he had to admit that, no, this had never happened. But, he said, on several occasions elders had made hand gestures concerning his face bush.
He didn’t elaborate as to what these gestures were, but I’m pretty certain they were along the lines of, “What the hell do you think you look like, you silly man?”
Growing up of course shaving was a big deal. I remember my friend Barry Edwards, howling with laughter at me when I shaved off the first pathetic hairs on my upper lip. He grew a hideous bum-fluff moustache, because it was considered a sign of maturity although I thought he looked like the construction worker from the Village People.
Beards are huge news: take Bin Laden’s latest video message. The CIA/FBI/Salvation Army compared it with his last message, more than three years ago, and it became clear that he had dyed his grey beard black. This could be for reasons of disguise but, frankly, it was a bit crappy if that was the case.
I prefer to think that, after years of living in his cave with very little to do but look in a mirror, he’s just become a bit vain. Maybe he started to worry that he was losing his looks, the chicks didn’t dig him any more and, before you know it, he’s ordered an underling to go get him a bottle of Just For Men from Kandahar. I love the fact that every time Bin Laden releases a video, he screws up. The first time he did one it was outside, and the Americans got geologists to analyze the rocks behind him, then the video camera clearly broke because he started doing audio tapes while someone found a new one. Now his frightening words about us all going to burn in hell, etc. are forgotten because we all want to know about his beard. He may be right; we are a very shallow society.
While I’m doing everything beard-related, I have a running fascination for every new razor that Gillette releases. Each one is proclaimed as so much better than the one they said was so brilliant the last time. I’ve somehow got on their mailing list so I’ve just received the new, improved, bionic one which now has FIVE blades, an extra one on the back and batteries. It’s insane. This is the one that some male model is advertising on TV in just his underpants. He may have have no beard and skin as smooth as silk but he hasn’t noticed that someone has put a cucumber in his underwear.
So, men with beards…………I apologize and when we finally capture Bin Bastard Laden………… I will grow a beard myself in celebration.
Goodnight
Your friends
John, Heidi and the Thingy
Filed under: Destinations, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: California, Carnival Ecstasy, Carnival Elation, Carnival Splendor
Dear John: Woo Hoo finally a cruise that will stay in Cabo for longer than just 6 hours. Cabo San Lucas has many fine things to offer…where else can you fall in love (lovers beach) and go to the other side and get divorced (divorce beach). I first fell in love with this place when I sailed on the Carnival Pride out of Long Beach. Since then I have spent 9 glorious days in Cabo with some friends of mine. Can’t wait to go back. Maybe I will just have to book the Elation and go back! As for men with beards…well the only thing I can say is some men look really hot with a beard…others not so hot. I would say it’s a personal preference. I also think that the person who raised such a big stink about the casino not being open should have done their homework. I also seem to remember that it is posted (at least it was on the ships I was on) as to why the casino is not open while it’s in a U.S. port. Maybe your “discussion with him” about why it wasn’t open will help him remember that when somebody requests a Carnival Cruise. As usual the blog was great! Rock on.
John:
First of all, about older Dads…. “my arse” as your Dad would say.
My Dad was 51 when I was born. I am here to tell you that they don’t give away that Wall Street Journal Award that I received, when I graduated from college, to dummies.
But you are absolutely correct that you will love the Wee One regardless of mental abilities. You will be proud of every accomplishment….whether it is becoming a Chemical Engineer (compliments of 100% academic scholarships) as our older son Josh or learning to tie his shoelaces at the age of 15 as our youngest son DJ.
Because when it comes right down to it, both sons have their strengths and their weaknesses.
Yes, Josh is brilliant….but DJ has all the street smarts.
We have a standing joke in our family. Joshua is going to earn a ton of money and DJ is going to con him out of every penny.
We are equally proud of both of them.
The moment that Wee One arrives, he/she will be perfect in your heart!
Hope your back is feeling better soon…..but I suggest that you NOT call Stephanie “anyone’s dog” or you will have bigger pains than in your back!!
Hope the team had a good trip out to California. Take good care of them!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend ~ “the little con man”~ DJ)
I had a beard but the USAF didn’t approve… imagine that…
Talk about rude… and STUPID… Hasn’t Mr. No-Free-Steak-for-You of the Seas ever heard the saying… don’t bite the hand that feeds you?? Here’s hoping that his attempt to book passengers on the Full Fare of the Seas will meet with zero success.
If it makes you feel any better, my dad was about your age when he and my mom made me. Well… perhaps that’s not such a good example…
Tell Goose and Jaime I said howdy!!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
My husband also has a bad back, and the first time it happened was on the Imagination in 1995. He wanted to climb Dunn’s River Falls sooo bad but he was in so much pain(and the ship doc had given him a cane) that he couldn’t. We’re headed back to Jamaica in June on the Liberty and so help me god he’s climbing that thing! Hey I was thinking, maybe you hurt your back when you broke the bed….I mean during the earthquake.
I just saw a commercial for ET (the tv show) and they said Gwen Stefani was performing on the Carnival Splendor….interesting.
Lisa P.
John -
Are you aware of the fact that research has demonstrated that research generates more research, which generates more research? As far as I am concerned, most research is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have no doubt that Thingy will be one of the brightest minds every produced by the union of an English comedic mind and a Nordic beauty. S/he will, of course, have to decide how to benefit the universe with his Einsteinish intellect.
As for your back, I feel your pain – literally. At the moment, my back is acting up, but, thankfully, a combination of acetaminophen, hydrocodone and diazepam (aka Vicodin and Valium) works wonderfully to solve my problem. Sorry that I can’t help you out by sharing.
Keep the faith.
Jon
Good evening John. Don’t you worry about your little Thingy, I mean your child. Sorry I had to say it my friend. Just remember the our part of Thingy come from Heidi and after seeing and hearing about all the great things that you have said about your wife I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think that basically the child’s intellect comes from the mother anyway even though us men are smart also. So rest my friend your child can still a nuclear physicist or a cruise director or anything he/she wants to be. You are just starting to worry as a father. After the child is born, man then the worrying begins.
Carnival better check the agents before allowing them to board the ship. What a jerk. Maybe he was a spy for the “Snake of the Seas”. Maybe he was there just to embarress Carnival even though that would be very difficult.
Well, have fun in L.A. .
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John,
I wanted to let you know that they made a mistake in the Press Release. Instead of saying the Carnival Elation’s suites are redone, it says the Carnival Ecstasy. I just wanted to tell you, so they can correct this error.
Spencer
John,
Its too bad that some travel agents give the rest of us a bad name. Just because something is free does not mean that we should abuse it. You should have got your cigar cutter thingie out and trimed his tougue an inch or two.
Look forward to seen videos of LA in the future.
John please reply
just a quick question
currently carnival offers the Sea Side theater on the Conquest class, Splendor and soon the Dream. Does Carnival have any plans in the future to add this amazing feature to other class of ships ??
Thanks
Bill
Hey John,
Sorry to here about your back! Hope it heals fast for you. We would like to pass our prayers to the Captain and his family for the loss of his mother. It is hard to believe that someone would be so unconcerned about the live of a fellow passenger as to condem the Captain for looking for him. What would her feeling have been if it had been someone from her family I wonder?
As for the stupid kid thing! The baby has nothing to worry about with Heidi as its mother. She is smart enough for the both of you! Here’s hoping the baby gets its looks and “smarts” from its mother! LOL! You are great and will be a GREAT father!
Best of luck on the rest of the promotional cruise! Hope you get to start the journey home to Heidi soon!
Best to you Heidi and the “Smart” Thingy!
Your friends!
Mike & Loretta Brown
John, I have a great idea… Why not go to a chiropractor and get him/her to say that the reason your back is “out of whack” is because of the bed that collapsed and then you can sue the hotel!!! And, it might even be the truth… its not old age…soon enough but not yet!!!
Baby thingy does not have to be an Albert Einstein to be smart. The knowledge that you & Heidi will share with him/her about your travels and people you have met will be all the knowledge thingy needs to be a smart little one. Smart does not always mean book smart. Street smart and common sense smart is just as good if not better… Rest assured you and Heidi will do a great job raising thingy, and worse scenario, or perhaps best, is we’ll all be there to help you if you need us….(or even if you don’t!!!).
Take care of that back and feel better.
Oh, and I didn’t even want to waste my time talking about the idiot passenger and the casino being closed. Doesn’t he realize that Carnival is losing money by not having the casino open… uhhhhhhh duhhhhhhhh.. now that guy didn’t have a smart dad!!! And that was obviously passed down…
Hi John Please Reply!!!
Please let me start by saying I love your blog. Recently discovered it from Cruise Critic. I was just howling at your description of the British futbol player using coupons at a restaurant. BWAH!!! I’ve never cruised Carnival before, have cruised RCCL and NCL each once, but am sooo excited for my 4/5 Valor cruise. Will we be having (*#&$*# or Big Tex as CD?
Anyway, I saw someone post before about being waitlisted for their dining time, and I had a question about that too. Our cruise docs say we are waitlisted for late dining on the 4/5 Valor cruise. My husband and I will probably have to forego eating in the dining room if we get early dining because, seriously, we are young and not quite ready for the early bird special.
I always thought that you didn’t get your dining time until embarkation, so I’m also curious what this “WAITLISTED” means. I really hope it means they aren’t going to stick us with noon dinner!!! Would love to know if you know anything about that.
Lastly, I just wanted to say that I love reading your stories of customer support. I also work in a leadership role in customer support and have to deal with the absolute wackiest of wacky, and your stories inspire me to lay the smackdown a bit more. LOL!!!
Christine
Thanks for the update on the Carnival Elation. That’s great that the ship now has wi-fi access from bow to stern. I also think Carnival made a GREAT decision to juggle the itineraries to include Cabo San Lucas.
I think you’ve really missed an opportunity regarding the new food station in the lido buffet, though. A stir-fry station? Hold on, and think about this for a minute. The ship sails to Ensenada and Cabo San Lucas. In other words, it’s a MEXICAN cruise. You should have put in a Mexican food station so that Mexican food is available at every meal. I’ve taken 3 Mexican Riviera cruises with Carnival, and I’ve always snickered about how little Mexican food is available. I’m not sure you really understand the food culture in California right now, and the demographics of the state. Think there are a lot of coffee shops in Seattle? Drive around Southern California and look at how many Mexican restaurants there are. Look at the population statistics and look at how many Hispanics there are. I think you would have been smarter to put in a Mexican food station instead of a stir-fry station.
John,
As one who has been around the block a few times and has also spent much time in a classroom, I can pretty much predict what your child will be like. He/she will have your sense of humor/humour and hopefully Heidi’s looks. The child will be polite while also having an ireverant take on life’s curiosities. In short it is very unsual that after meeting a child to not have a very accurate view of what the parents must be like.
Oh, one more thing. When the child is a teenager , when you crack jokes in public, you will be one of their greatest embarrassments. But don’t worry. You’ll regain your wisdom in their eyes as they get older.
John,
As a fellow Travel Agent I assure you that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch of us in this industry who appreciates Carnival and the committment to support the Travel Agent’s profession…What an Idiot if I may say so. I look forward to seeing all the cool Carnival creations that will be unveiled at Cruise3sixty in FLL next week.This will be my 5th trip and it gets better every year.Hopefully that TA wont make his flight.
Mark
JOHN PLEASE REPLY
Hi John,
I was wondering about the regulation or law that doesn’t permit a ship to go from one United States port to another without “going foreign” in between. Why is that? Who should us bloggers write to to get that law changed? I was also looking at the itinerary of some of the Alaska cruises, which I hope some day to enjoy. I see they stop in Skagway AK, then on to Ketchikan AK, or Kita AK to Juneau AK. Are those considered United States ports? Does the ship sail “foreign waters” between them? Anyway, I was just curious, it seems so dumb not to be able to enjoy one US costal city after another on a fabulous Carnival cruise. I apologize if you have already addressed this in the blog and I missed it.)
My Best to you, Heidi and the babe.
Julie Gantt
Ooh! When is the spot on Wealth TV going to be on? That channel is my guilty pleasure.
John, As that TA gets off the ship today you can tell him his cruise was free, his drinks were free, and he is getting off the ship without out lossing any of his hard earned money. I’m sure Carnival would of opened the casino as soon as it could to get his money away from him to pay for his cruise. What did he think that if the casinos were open Carnival would let all the TA win to make them happy.
When he goes to a Vegas hotel on a free stay as a TA how much does it end up costing him in the casino.
BIG ED
John/Stephanie for John/Please reply
Well I cannot believe it is almost here, I always get excited for a cruise, but even more so since I am coming back ”HOME” to Carnival. We head out on the Freedom, Sunday 4/5 and per your reply from last year, you wanted me to remind you a few days before we sail. As per usual, we have had some friends Join us, 2 Families and my wife’s co worker. (All have never sailed Carnival Before). I don not know if its been the long cold winter up here in Boston or Just the memories of the service and laughter I have had on all my Carnival cruises, I cannot wait for the “Freedom”. I’m also looking forward to experience the VIP perks for the first time as the program was not in place the last time I cruised Carnival. I know I am sending this a little early but we are heading down to Fort Lauderdale Early to enjoy some much needed Sunshine, and if I bring my Laptop, My wife has stated it may wind up somewhere that is not accessible…
John, please enjoy one of the most important events in your life, best wishes for health and happiness for Hedi, thingy, and yourself……….
Thanks for all you do for the “Carnival Family”
Paul Moriarty AKA (Mort13ers)
(Original Reply from Post on 2/26/08)MORT13ERS……………A huge sense of disappointment washed over me at the end of your fantastic posting. I am so glad that you and the family canceled your RCI cruise and have instead booked the Carnival Freedom after many years away from the “Fun Ship” experience. Your memories of Eddie Capone and the Male Nightgown contest are ones I share with you mate and I have to say you will be astounded at the changes we have made onboard since you left us. The fun is here waiting for you and if you can remind me a few days before you sail I would appreciate it very much. Welcome home and my disappointment is that I will not be here to share in your family vacation with you……………maybe next time. My best to you all.
Dear John,
As a person who has a disc out in his back I can relate. Try stretching like a cat. Lie on your stomach and push up with your arms and look towards the ceiling. This releaves the pressure on the discs and can give you some relief. The TA’s Dad was not only old, but his mother and Dad must have been related. All the best!
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2some
John,
Don’t worry. For every few good, honest, people in this world, there is always one dishonest person in the crowd and this “let me see how much I can take Carnival for and then make them look bad” idiot is one of them! You should tell him that everything is free except his tip. That will be $500.00! I do hope that your sales staff has banned him as well from ever coming back on another fun ship.
Only seven more days till we sale on the Sensation. Can’t wait!
Mike & Lori
New Itinerary for the West Coast – Fantastic!
New Ship, New Year, so why not a new itinerary for the Gulf Coast? In November Mobile is getting a ship to replace the Holiday. We’ve sailed on her 5 times, the 6th will be next month. Yes, we are going to miss her, but we hope with the new ship will come a new port or two. A good itinerary would be to sail to from Mobile to Cozumel, to Key West, than back to Mobile; or to Key West and Jamaica etc…
Just a thought, please respond
John.
So glad you like my city, L.A. Like every big city, it has it’s good and bad areas, but you learn to stay out of the bad areas and you never have problems. Having been born here – second generation – and lived here since 1957 – most of my adult life – I have never been harmed or felt in any danger. It’s all the misconception of the movies and tv. And you are here when the weather couldn’t be nicer.
I feel so bad about that stupid TA. He must be like some of the TA’s I’ve met – never been on a cruise and has no concept of what fun – and what you can and cannot do in port and elsewhere. And to bite the hand that feeds him, what a jerk.
I am so looking forward to December when I will meet you on BC4. I promise to be nice on board.
Take care.
thanks for the appology for the beards! Hubster has a beard and I love it!
Been there done that with the back pain. You probaby did injury it when the bed fell. I myself see a chiropractor for my back. They do help. I hope you feel better soon. If you can…I know how you hate massages, but if you can get one, you want a deep tissue one to relieve the muscles in your back, followed by a dip in the hot tub.
John, as a “mature” mom, I understand how reading all that gobbledegoop can cause anxiety! I was 42 when my bundle of energy was born 6 years ago (today!) and my husband was 44. We so much love him and think everything he does is just wonderful. Will he be the next Einstein? I doubt it, unless somehow Pokemons are involved in the Theory of Relativity. All we want is for him to be happy, healthy and a professional football player who will buy us a cruise 3-4 times a year and a condo some place sunny! (I do think we will settle for just happy and healthy though!)
You will be a fantastic dad because you approach everything with humor and love. (except for the French!)
We met one of them travel people on Glory, we was parked next to one of them of the sea’s and she was telling us how much better it was than Glory. I said you should jump ship and go over there everyone would be happier. Sorry to hear about your back been there done that. We have never cruised the west coast yet but are thinking very serious about it. If Carnival wants someone on any ship to brag about a great cruise line I only need a small room to change and get cleaned up, will sleep up on deck. Hope your back gets better.
John, call Heidi and ask her if she is having back pains. You may be having Sympathy pains. Well looking at you it might be you that is expecting, LOL.
PAT
Hi John!
I hope your back is feeling better.
Good luck with cruising to nowhere with the TAs. I am sorry that you had to deal with Mr. Angry.com
Hi to Heidi/Thingy. Can’t believe the big day is almost here.
Take care!
David
Sorry about your back. Mr. Angry should only be allowed to sell to Obnoxious of the Seas clients–he is underserving of the benefit Carnival gave him. Don’t worry about the thingy being smart–in today’s world they are all smarter than we are at age 4! Hope your back feels better before you have that flight back to London.
Hey John! Little behind in posting this – just wrapping up a busy booking season so playing catchup with the blog now! Anyway, in reference to Agent Angry who gets a free ride with Carnival while yelping the praises of another line – as a travel agent I am embarassed to be of the same profession! Please pass onto the VP on sales, that I am one agent that loves Carnival to bits and if they are looking for someone to take for a ride (especially at the free pricetag!), I am a very willing volunteer!!
I’m experiencing trouble with seeing your blog layout in the most recent version of Opera. It is fine in IE6 and Firefox however.Have a lovely day.