It’s time I came out of the closet………and what better place to do it then here on the blog thingy……..so………..after years in the wilderness I am now ready to admit…..that I ……… am ……a huge………….Michael Jackson fan.

OK, there I said it and I feel somewhat liberated having told you that. The reason that I have decided to tell you this is that the gloved one is due to hold two concerts here in London next week……….or at least that’s the plan. I loved his music; I loved Billy Jean and Black or White and Thriller still sounds brilliant turned up loud on the Range Rover’s speaker system. But………I am concerned. I watched a documentary last night made just a few weeks ago to highlight his comeback mega concerts at the London Arena……..and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t make it onto the stage.
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In days gone past had Heidi woken up and revealed her breasts the first thing I would have done would not have been to turn on the TV. However, as her exposure was to allow Kye to have a drink that’s exactly what I did…….turn on the TV. I am not sure about North America and other parts of the world but here in the UK late night TV is totally and utterly crap.
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Before Kye was born I promised myself that I would not become one of those parents that only talk about their kids.

“Hey, did you see the new Aston Martin DB9?” ………And a Dad would say “No, but the new Silver Cross GTR 300 stroller is incredible.” Or – “

“Hey, how about that skirt Jennifer Lopez was wearing at the MTV awards…….she has the finest bottom in the world.” And a dad would say “Oh, I was watching Discovery Health channel about the new baby formula that apparently is 37.56 % more like breast milk.”
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There are no words that I am capable of writing at this moment in time except to say after a long , long night at 8.50am GMT Heidi gave birth to a 7 pound baby girl.

I will write a full blog describing ( if I can ) what happened on Sunday but for now I just want to say a massive thankyou to each and everyone of you for your kind words…….I hope you all know how special you are to the three of us
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Wednesday, 3:30 pm and still no Thingy. Heidi had a tough night as the Braxton Hicks contraction thingies came often and judging by the moans and groans coming from her side of the bed she was either in a lot of pain or was dreaming about the time I dressed up as Roman Gladiator. Today, we have another check up with the doctor just to see if they want to induce and for the sake of Heidi’s pain and my sanity I hope they do.

Heidi wants me by her side so I have not left the house today but I still managed to do the grocery shopping which I did ……..for the first ever time…….on line……..using a thing called Waitrose Deliver…………where the supermarket comes to you.
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Wednesday May, 13 and no sign of the Thingy. Heidi is calm……….where as I am available for the remake of One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Heidi has a little pain “downstairs” and spends most of her day sitting on her birthing ball but apart from that she is …….well…….just Heidi. Her back is aching a bit though and that means yours truly has to massage her.
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Tuesday, 4:30 pm and so sign of the Thingy. We have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow to see if there is any sign of him or her gracing us with his or her presence …………..meanwhile, I sit here, a nervous blabbering wreck.

Heidi doesn’t want me to leave the house except for grocery shopping in case something happens. ………so as Heidi watches the Horror Channel………or The Baby Channel to give it its proper name, I woke up this morning and decided to write a book.
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It’s 12:40 am………and here I am ………unable to sleep due to my “where is the Thingy?” nerves ………so I thought I would come and sit here in my underpants and write to you all. Actually I have been trying to write to you since 12:05 am and in fact it’s a miracle that I am able to write this blog at all. Now this is not because I’ve been killed by a vindictive polar bear who, finding out I own a Range Rover, popped over to the UK to eat me or have I been infected with swine flu because I dared to listen to my mariachi CD…. no …… it is a miracle that I am able to write to you but because my laptop has stopped working.
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It’s 8:30pm here in the UK and I’m not going to tell you about the day just gone, as I spent most of it shouting at people. My soccer team (incompetent over payed big girls blouses), the check out girl at the supermarket (Polish), Vodaphone ,the suppliers of my new phone (incompetent, amateur, liars……….and in India). Recounting a day of rage is not good for the soul and as the media are doing such a good job of trying to make everyone feel miserable……………………..I think it’s better if I focus on some positive stuff.

So it was all fingers and toes crossed that today would be the day for a timely and trouble free birth for Heidi and the Thingy……………but there has been more action in the soap and deodorant section at La Publix in Paris then between Heidi’s legs. Don’t worry she told me…………..”statistically 75% of all births are late” she declared . I asked how she new this ……………bugger………..stupid question………..so as my soccer team were showing they had the footballing skills of a drunk Penguin…………I concentrated on Heidi’s ” Mother and Baby ” magazine . There I discovered some tips on how to get the Thingy to hurry up …………………..these include:
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11:15am – Saturday, May 9th

Nothing has happened. I woke up about ten times during the night to feel on Heidi’s side of the bed in case the tide had come in………but the only thing that has broken so far is my nights sleep and the kettle which decided to blow up when I was making my morning cup of monkey tea.

Heidi seems to be patient and not worried and is as we speak sorting out her old clothes and putting the ones she doesn’t want in the charity bag. If I find one pair of my underpants has been put in the bag there will be hell to pay.
Me……….well I am a nervous wreck and for any father to be I want to say this:
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