Friday, June 19th, 2009...3:32 pm
Make sure your Seat is on the Upright Position………My Arse.
Let me ask you all a question. What is the proper etiquette for putting your seat back on a plane?
I know people say “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but if the person in front of you puts their seat back, then what?
Here I am on a long nine-hour flight to Miami and I am not proud to say that the emotions of leaving Heidi and Kye boiled over…….and I got into an argument with the man seated behind me. I waited until after the meal service had ended and then slowly, I began to recline. Normally I try to go back a small amount at a time but on this particular occasion I was exhausted from the past few months and went all the way.
Suddenly I felt a strong tap on my shoulder. He was in the seat diagonally behind me and he looked outraged."That's not right," he snapped. His tone suggested I had done something immoral. "My wife has no room for her legs."I know some people at this point would have immediately raised their seat forward. But I didn't like his attitude. He was blaming me for his wife's discomfort when it's the fault of whoever designed the bloody plane. Also, he wasn't asking me nicely, he was demanding. And acting like I had vomited over her.
What about my right to choose to rest? I looked right at him and said, defiantly, "I'll move my seat up but just so you know, I don't like being ordered to do it." It made matters worse. Loud enough for other passengers to hear, he announced: "You're not a very nice person.” Then he added: "My wife is pregnant." This I had to see. I twisted my torso around and IF his wife was pregnant, she must have conceived while checking in and packed the after birth in one of those bags they give you for toiletries...... I looked more pregnant than she did. And if she was so upset why wasn't she speaking out? She was the one suffering the consequences of my six inches ..........of recline.
Maybe she didn't care. And another thing, if he was so concerned about his wife's discomfort, why not offer to switch seats with her? I hated him as much as he hated me and the fact that as he spoke he chomped on his chewing gum making snapping noises every 10 seconds.
But I moved the seat forward in a conciliatory gesture. "There," I said, "I've moved it." For the rest of the trip, every time he got up he intentionally jolted my seat. To the point where if I was drinking coffee from one of the tiny cups it would spill. Those cups only hold three sips - and I need every one of them. It’s not that I don't understand. There's nothing worse than someone reclining their seat back in your face. You want to complain or pound them with your in flight magazine - but you don't.
Just like you want to throw your drink over people who talk during the movie and squeeze the nipples of people who push on line on Lido deck with the tongs
If everyone did that it would be anarchy. Or life in New York.
Instead, the polite thing to do is either ask them nicely to adjust the seat or sit silently, simmering with rage, vowing to make more money so that you can fly business class in the future.
I asked my friend who works at the airlines what the policy is on this. She laughed. "What policy? We expect people to use common sense. If someone is over six feet, don't put your seat back." So. Anyone under six feet is on their own? I’ve been stuck with my nose an inch from an airline seat countless times and never say anything. I'll think to myself “are you serious?” but I don't accost them with it - it's just something in life you have to endure. Like the French and people who chomp on chewing gum.
I did get my own back though because I went to the toilet and took a huge number two leaving the toilet smelling of last night’s triple egg cheese and onion omelette. The stench was astonishing and as I got out of there who should be waiting to enter the chamber of death .......yep.........my fellow passenger............there is a God!
And so here I am on the way to the hotel in a taxi whose air conditioning is as strong as asthmatic hamster breathing through a straw. There is no point in me moaning about the hour I spent sitting in the sin bin at US Immigration as me and my fellow crew members were treated with all the kindness of the Spanish Inquisition by people who have the tact of a turd in a swimming pool.........just a simple “please” would have made so much difference
I am excited to be back and can't wait to hold a microphone again and I will write a full blog on Sunday.
Oh, just one more thing. You know that bit in yesterday’s blog where I said I wouldn't mention again that I missed Heidi and Kye...........I lied...........I miss them terribly
Goodnight
Your friend
John
30 Comments
June 19th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Welcome back John!!
June 19th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Well, foo. I had hoped that this journey would be a departure from the norm and might have been a pleasant experience rather than the disaster that most of your flights have been.
Find something tasty to eat, enjoy the humidity in the air and the lack of clothing on the women and prepare to return to work!!
Ciao, my friend! Talk to you soon!
Host Mach
June 19th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Dear John,
Its too bad you couldn’t have had some cabbage to go along with that Omlette. A nice beer would have been good too! Buck up mate the FREEDOM awaits!
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2some
June 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Welcome back to this side of the big pond, John. My heart has been heavy all day thinking about you, Heidi, and Kye having to say goodbye for the coming 2 months. I had the 3 of you on my mind this morning and I got a lump in my throat.
I hope you have a dear friend on every cruise. One you can talk to and they will give you a hug when you start feeling sad.
Well see you in 2 weeks and I’ll be bringing hugs from Nanni ……well from all of the Krewe…..even Big Ed
Countess Carolyn
June 19th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Welcome back to florida john, You should have told that guy to Sod Off. I’m sure you handled it well and better then I would you had every right to put your seat back.
Big Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
June 19th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Welcome Back
June 19th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
You just can’t have a flight with no issues. Sorry. I know that you miss them terribly.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
John:
David flies every week…so he can definately relate to the “no class individuals” using airline transportation these days. He just flew in from Newark, Delaware (via Philadelphia, Pa) about an hour ago.
People in the industry call people like Mr. Seat Jerk the “bus riders”.
To me it seems if the airlines did not intend for the seats to recline….then why did they have seats that…RECLINE?
And as hard as it is to have to put up with people like him…. at least you aren’t him…(or married to him). Can you imagine how miserable his life must be to be that hateful?
You have a BEAUTIFUL family….. 10,000s of 1,000s of people who adore you (who immediately want to track him down and make him live in France for a year) …
and what does this jerk airline reject have …. a wife who probably is as tired of hearing his voice as you were. (which is why she wasn’t saying anything) Thank goodness that she is the one that is stuck with him!
David’s recent airline issue is with carry ons. Now that the airlines have started charging for even the first checked bag….people have started trying to carry on everything (including the kitchen sink).
They look like a pack mule headed across the Andes Mountains. If someone has two carry ons…one is suppose to be small enough to fit under the seat. Yeah, right….
David only brings his computer laptop bag and puts it in the overhead bin. It never fails that a flight attendant (whatever they are called these days) wants him to put his one carry on under his feet, so that the pack mules can put all their stuff in the overhead.
David has decided no more. He has poor leg circulation and isn’t going to be cramped on a flight, because someone else is to cheap to pay $15.00 for a piece of checked luggage.
Fortunately, most of the time he is upgraded to First Class…so this isn’t an issue.
Glad you are here … safe and sound. You are so blessed to have a wonderful wife to hold down the fort at home, while you travel. (Spoken as a lady who has held down the fort going on almost 20 years…LOL)
Settle in at the Motel 6 and shake society’s dirt off your shoes (and from your mind)…..
you are LOVED!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
June 19th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Well it could be worse, it is 101.2 degrees outside at the moment here is south Mississippi. Under our firework tent, it is around 112 degrees. I have lost about 7 pounds this past week. Any more and they will be able to do a spinal exam from the front.
Now you have more in common with some of the crewmembers who have families. Just dont stay away so long that when you get home, Kye asks “Mommy who is that strange man?”
Dave
June 19th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
dear carnival people,
please let john fly in the FRONT of the airplane from now on. he is the SR. cruise director. he deserves it. we do not like it when he is unhappy. besides we want to hear happy carnival stuff and because you are acting like a tightwad bunch he is “a tad” grouchy. okay? thank you very much.
sincerely,
bonnie and prince charlie
June 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
John, I’m so glad I don’t fly because I would have just told that guy that this is my paid for seat and I will do with it what I want to. I would then ask him how much he was willing to pay to control the position of MY seat.
Once your back on a ship I just wonder how long it will take for us to get one of your great Memo from the Purser desk blog. I think we all have been missing your on ship blogs.
BIG ED
June 19th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I know how hard it is to leave loved ones. My son and grandson live in Germany. I only get to see them once a year, which is really hard. Grandpa and I just got back on the 17th of May from 2 weeks there. It’s not enough time, but since we still work all we could do. You need to get Stephanie or one of the IT crew to set you up a web cam so that you can talk to Heidi and Kye via the net.
Sorry you had such a lousy flight. Once your back on the Carnival Freedom life will be good.
Love and hope to see you soon
CarolAnn
June 19th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Hi John!
Sorry about your seat incident. What a nightmare.
Better than screaming babies though.
Welcome back to the states.
Hi to Heidi/Kye!
Take care!
David
June 19th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
You paid for the right to recline and I do not think you should have done anything with your seat. I would have told him that he needed to ask if he could be moved. I can’t stand rude people like that who things it’s all about them!
June 19th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Welcome back!!
Bet your girls miss you terribly, too.
Sharon
June 19th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Hi John,
Sorry you got it again. One advice as i am still like you not very slim get a seat in the row behind the emergency exits. No way they can put back their seats. Trade off for a little more space in front.
Why did Mr. A….ole his wife not offer to swap seats ?? Why did she not move her seat back??
Normaly it is like this: No 1 moves seat back and then one after another only moving up for feeding.
Does US Imigration not like you at all?
I have been the last in line on arrival at the end of April (less than 30 minutes getting all of our passengers through imigration) and chatted with this Imigration officer for almost ten minutes! Killing my luggage belt time and getting my rental car arriving at my Hotel at Sunny Iles Beach within 90 minutes after landing.
So sorry John.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Hi John!
It’s been a little while, but I’m still mending and counting the days until I’m back on my feet.
I have an evil little trick for dealing with people in front of me putting their seats back on the plane. It’s totally passive aggressive. I usually travel with a backpack that goes under the seat in front of me. As soon as we take off, I pull the backpack out from under the seat and brace it between my knees and the seat back. I don’t have to hold it there very long, because they usually try to put the seat back pretty soon after take off. But because the backpack is there, their seat won’t go back. They’ll try a couple of times pushing harder and then give up figuring that they got stuck with a broken seat that doesn’t recline. And I would say that 99% of the time they won’t try again during the flight. And the best part is that they never know that it was me and thus I get to keep the minuscule amount of legroom allotted to me without any nasty confrontations.
Just thought I’d share this useful tidbit.
All the best to you, Heidi and Kye. And big hello and thanks to Stephanie, mistress of the blog.
Oh and, nice to see Chris P back and posting, even if he didn’t come through with your upgrade! LOL Welcome back Chris! Glad you are recovered!
Cheerios,
Laura (aka divetrash, aka Princess Laura, the sweet and mending of Big Ed’s Evil Crew)
June 19th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
John,
You are a better person than I. But, you got your revenge and that is PRICELESS! We all knew that you couldn’t have a flight without issues! What would you have had for blog material if all was smooth flying? But, the good news is, you are in Miami safe and sound. Welcome back to the states.
Sheryl
June 19th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I had always thought putting the seat back was a requirement, until one time I did run into someone like you did. I find the seat being up quite uncomfortable, and here this guy was making it like I was doing something wrong.
I left it back.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
I don’t anybody that says yeah I get to fly. I hate it too! But a necessary evil I want to cruise, I have to fly to all US Ports. I can drive although approximately 15 hours to Vancouver.
Which one day I will…there are some great Itineraries from Vancouver…and all of them are not Alaska! Hawaii, Mexico and Coastal sound great as well!!!
Thanks John for showing the world that us Men DO HAVE FEELINGS and all aren’t brutes! I know that most of the women know that…but there are some out there and ladies you know who you are… : )
June 19th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Welcome back to the states John. Sorry about the flight over. Once you get back on the ship, and settled in, things will be much better…don’t you think?!
June 20th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Welcome back to the real world. The only thing worse than leaving loved ones at home is knowing that every day in the service industry there is a jerk like Mr. UpRight waiting to crap in your Cheerios.
We are looking forward to your musings of these encounters. At the time all you can do is bite your tounge. Just vent through the blog, it will release some of the stress of the situations.
We too miss Heidi and Kye. We will need a letter from home at least once a week.
June 20th, 2009 at 5:27 am
RETPODA Hi John, I wish i could figer out how to finally write you.Just booked on the bloggers cruise Nov 15th. welcome back to the USA. I enjoy your blogs every day, hope you get a web cam
June 20th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Welcome back, John,
Maybe that jerk on the plane will show up on the ship and you can alert any bloggers who may be on board. Can you imagine how miserable he would be for the entire cruise?
I, too, believe you should be booked in first class (or business as there is no difference as far as I can tell). Surely Carnival can afford to pay for your comfort since you put out so much “good word” about them.
FELLOW BLOGGERS, WE SHOULD START A PETITION TO HAVE JOHN BOOKED FIRST CLASS EVERY TIME HE MUST FLY FOR CARNIVAL! Sounds like a job for Big Ed and the Evil Crewe.
Keep smiling, John. Just look at pictures of Heidi and Kye…should cheer you right up.
Your pal, Myra
June 20th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
John,
We would be dissapointed if you didn’t mention how much you miss Heidi & Kye!
Mike & Lori
June 20th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
mickeyspal:
I agree that we should start a petition!!
Great idea…
I vote that John ONLY flies FIRST CLASS whenever more than 4 hours in an aircraft is required!!!!
Princess Linda (Mom of DJ AND the Domestically Challenged Goddess of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe)
June 20th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Newbie here~ been following you. First comment though.
What is that guy thinking!? If the airlines designed for the seats to recline~ that means you CAN recline… Either that or the airlines have seized to know how to design planes…
June 21st, 2009 at 12:19 am
I agree with Myra. Let’s get a petition going so that John flies 1st class everytime. Hear, hear!
Cindy
June 22nd, 2009 at 7:13 am
The airline domino effect. One person reclines then watch as one by one each row then reclines!
I am flying to Seattle on Wednesday and look forward to once again observing this phenomena .There is no such thing as a pleasant flight in economy these days, not possible with the clientele that sit in there. I fly business when I can afford to but not very often.
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:49 am
I would like to contact the senior cruise director
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