It’s 8:00am here in Essex and as I sit in the writing room in my underpants Heidi is feeding Kye. This morning at 2:05 am she woke for a feed after of 4 hours of blissful sleep for all of us and after she had enjoyed some bosom milk I held her in my arms……………..and watched her fall asleep………………surely one of the most satisfying sights in the world………….apart from the sight of someone delivering your own Aston Martin DBS ……………….or the sight of Catherine Zeta Jones holding a sign that reads “John, I want you now you big sex God.”
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It’s time for another ” John hates flying” moan and whine. You know, I used to believe that flying on a budget airline like Ryan Air was the good Lord’s way of deterring everyone but the most determined traveller from ever setting foot on a plane. Those who have not been affected en route by thrombosis or poisoned by what the airlines refers to as “food,” emerge at the end looking and feeling like the unlikely offspring of Judge Judy and Borat.

It was clearly a deterrent because the airlines made sure that you knew just how bad it was by comparing it with something infinitely more agreeable: nice class, like in the American Airlines commercials……………….soft sheets, fine wines, exotic nuts and a good chance of sitting next to James Gandolfini. Of course on airlines like Ryan Air, Easy Jet and the North American equivalents you are more likely to be sharing a seat row with a stag party on their way to a restaurant called Steak and Tits, in Amsterdam.
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Hello everyone.

Stephanie has just told me that Costa are experiencing some technical problems with the live feed. It may be though that the show has not started yet…..we are on European time and thus it will probably start much later than advertised. The fly over by the Italian airforce display team was incredible and I am sure the show and naming ceremony will be a visual feast Italian style.

Hope you get to see it
John

Hello everyone

I just wanted to apologize for the break in blogging today and tomorrow. I hope you have been enjoying the Costa blogs, both ships are truly wonderful.

There will be a full blog on Sunday where I will post photos, answer questions and we will have part one of the Carnival Dream blog

See you then
John

Bon a sarah as they say here in Italy and if there is anything that can bring the dormant Italian out of you its Costa Cruise Lines.

Tomorrow, starting at 11.00am European time ( 5:00am EST ) I will be writing a series of hourly blogs and updates along with photos and some fun leading up to the main event…..the worlds first double naming ceremony tomorrow night.
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So, my journey to Genoa begins and for now I have said goodbye to the Carnival Dream. Before I do I want to pay tribute to the men and women of Fincantieri who are turning our Dream into reality. The shipyard really is an amazing place to see and when you look at the history of the Carnival Dream and her development you’ll discover it’s rather more than just another ship.

It all started when Micky Arison, who has done more for the industry then he is ever given credit for, told his team of advisors and men with beards that he wanted to design a new generation of Carnival ships.
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Heidi made some excuse about being busy looking after Kye and therefore she would not be able to pack my suitcase for this trip to Italy. No worries I thought, I am 44 years old and I am going for only five days. So, it will come as know surprise then when I tell you that I forgot:

My hairbrush
My suspenders
Toothpaste
And……..spare underwear.
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It’s 4:45 am and I am feeling guilty so here I sit…..in Italy……in my underpants ….. paying 10 Euros per hour……to use the hotel’s internet system……..to write you a blog. OK, I admit that I also woke at this time because I needed a poo but that is beside the point. You see I knew that today I would have no chance to write or post any photos so after dropping the kids of at the pool I knew I had to sit here and write to take the guilt away.
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Dreams can be exciting things……like the one I had last night about Catherine Zeta Jones dressed all in leather and a bucket of whipped cream. Dreams can also be horribly frightening as well like the one had which was exactly the same except Catherine Zeta Jones had been replaced by Judge Judy.

Also…..why is it that when anyone has a bad dream they feel compelled to talk about it? As soon as I hear: “I had the worst dream last night,” I know it’s my cue to ask what happened. What follows is a strange story that makes no sense and has no point. I would never admit to anyone that while I was in a deep sleep I dreamed of covering her Judgeness in whipped cream.
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I think it’s because I have hosted hundreds of talent shows onboard over the last 17 years that I have been a cruise director that the thought of watching similar shows on TV has always made me feel like vomiting. Also, I think my hatred of American/British Idol type shows is that, unlike our talent shows on the ships where everyone is a winner, I hate the sight of grown men and women reduced to tears by Simon Bowell and the gang when they are told………….they are crap!

OK……..yes………..I admit that there have been times onboard in the talent shows when I have had to walk out on stage telling the audience how wonderful Sarah from California was with her version of “I Will Always Love You” even though there were dogs howling around the Caribbean …………..and I have to admit that if I ever have to hear “Wind beneath My Bloody Wings” ever again I may have to hurt someone with the microphone.
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