John Heald's Blog

Talent shows………..I love them………………..and……………………I hate them.

Guest: Mrs—————–Ref: 840006851A
Cabin: **** Booking#: ****** Added-Changed: 07/14/09 – 07/14/09

C – 8445 – DAUGHTER TOO YOUNG FOR TALENT SHOW
Guest came to desk stating that her daughter had waited to take part in the talent show but was told that as she is 12 she is too young for the show. Guest demanded that she be allowed to sing saying that she was very good and she must be in it. Mrs_______demanded to speak to Cruise Director. GSA called but was told by ACD Jaime that he was on TV doing a live show. Guest asked for pen and paper and wrote the attached letter.

Of course this is not the first time I have written about this . In fact I think back when I was on the Valor there was a similar incident……….or maybe it was the Carnival Splendor………….regardless………..its not the first time and it wont be the last time that stage mum has been mad at me. Just in case I have first time blog thingy readers I should explain that we have two talent shows onboard……….one for the kids and one for the adults………and regardless if a 12 year old has the voice of an angel or a voice that sounds someone using a cheese grater on Wolf’s testicles……….they are too young for the adult show.

Obviously I feel for the kid but if the truth be told and as is usual in these cases …………..her Mum is probably more bothered than she is. One thing I know Roger Blum has always wanted us CD’s to do is to pay more attention to the Camp Carnival talent show and make it more of an event. I must admitt to not have done that………….I wonder if any of my colleagues have. We should record it for the TV and we don’t and we should have the Cd or ACD host………and we don’t…………so I will be changing that I think. I am sure more people would love to see the kids entertain.

The talent show was also difficult tonight because I had to refuse someone else . This time it was an adult guest who wanted to play the guitar. Unfortunatley he didnt have a guitar and wanted to use the orchestra musicians…………..which of course as it is the musicians personal property he could not allow. Well, this guy was so mad and was so aggresive that larry the Musical Director who was conducting the rehersals had to call me. I came down to the theatre and listened in shock as this middle aged man let out a torrid abuse of profanity at me, and the guitar player. I explained that this was his livley hood and as Tony the guitarist had said it cost $3,000 and he wasnt just going to lend that to a stranger.

Mr Clapton’s reply……………”I am a F%*$*ng professional guitarist.”

I warned Mr. Clapton that if he continued to swear he would have to leave and I would be forced to call security. Eventually after some calming down he said he would sing the song………..without the guitar. OK………..we were getting somewhere. The song was ” Hotel California ” and it was a good thing i sstayed because halfway through his rehersal he lost the band or the band lost him but anyway they had to stop………….and Mr Clapton then swore again………..over the microphone infront of the other talent show participnats.

I had had enough.

I told him to bugger off and that he was banned from the show. Now………..as larry , the musicians, Jaime and others there will tell you he got very heated and strode towards me……………..I stood my ground and out of the corner of my eye I could see Jaime calling security.

I was ready………….coiled like a spring ready should he attack me to ummmm……..well………I had no idea what i was going to do . In the end he left the lounge still swearing………………………sometimes……….i just do not get what peoples expectations are. I mean, imagine me going to his house, knocking on the door and saying ” hello, I know you don’t know me but I have a drivers licence…………..can I borrow your car .”…………………..it’s the same thing as him asking to borrow a professional musicians guitar……………….isn’t it.

Anyway, I have made a report and he is know on the Carnival Naughty Guest List and I for the sake of poor Tony and larry our musicians………I hope mr.Clapton gets an itch he can never scratch.

Anyway…………..these incidents have been making me think. I have never been a big fan of Simon Cowell as you know but maybe I am begining to understand him a bit better. He must be a man who spends a great deal of time being bored out of his mind. As the Captain Kirk of American and British Idol his mission is to seek out the next Jennifer Hudson yet he sees more strange new life forms than stars.

Unlike my talent shows and having to put up with stage mum and people like Mr. Clapton old Simon has a few perks. For with the advent of a winsome child soprano, say; or a young streetdancer with a cucumber down his pants, Cowell will suddenly come alive. He will lean back in his chair, and grin. He isnt’ listening to the words or the music but thinking………………..how much money can Simon Cowell earn from this … thing … in front of him. And then when the music stops………..stage mum who is waiting in the wings is hoping and praying that the man in black will say ” You know, I think you might be the best singer we’ve ever had on this show.”

And we did have some great singers in tonights show and the fantastic audience who have been brillinat all cruise long stood and applauded :

Tommy Scala, New Jersey – The Way You Look Tonight, With band
(he is a police officer)

Scott Bolin, Kentucky – His Eye is on the Sparrow, With band
(on his honeymoon)

Jody Brown, Atlanta Georgia – For Your Precious Love, With band
(very nervous)

Rod Wurtley, Louisville Kentucky – One in a Million, With band
(high school principal)

They were all fantastic.

I will tell you about the bedtime story later………….but first time for today’s questions…………here we go.

Karen Asked:
Please reply
Just finished the blog for the evening. Had a few comments
1. being a new VIP made our embarkation at Long Beach a pleasure. As far as I could tell, the lines the other people had to be in were long, long long. Makes me glad we made it to VIP.

2. Indian Food.– My first stop at the India Bar on the Splendor was quite a treat. Earlier in the day when in the spa I had shared time with an older man from India. As it happened, he was at the food bar at the same time my husband and I were there. He gave us a lesson on all the food and how to eat the spicy with the other and then the chefs there helped. What a delight. I have a new interest in that food. It was awesome. The bread was to die for.

3. What suggests do you have for an east coast vacation cruise? Think we may have to do the Dream next summer.

4. Kye is beautiful.

5. You are very funny and can’t wait to have you as a CD.

John Says:
Hello Karen
Thanks for taking the time to write and I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy. I have mentioned I think quite recently that we are looking at ways to quicken the embarkation process at every home port of call. However, there are some challenges and one of those is of course the sheer number of people checking in. Take Long Beach as you mentioned. That’s 35oo people checking in with the majority all arriving within two hours of each other…………..imagine that scenario at an airport with 3500 people all checking in for the same flight at the same time. The reason I mention airlines is that people ( not you ) but others………..many others……..tend to forget that the various port authorities and all the cruise lines operate under the same security procedures as the airlines. Luggage has to be screened as do the guests themselves and thats before the check in procedure. Again, I sometimes wish that people ( again not you ) but others would show the same understanding as they do when there is a long wait at the airport to check in and go through security. Regardless we will continue to try and improve this process at all our home ports and as you said…………….VIP Platinum status is incomparable.

I am glad you liked the Tandoor……..the flavours are superb. When you ask about an east coast cruise I have to make your Carnival Dream my number one choice……….there is more news on her in a moment by the way. I do hope that you will consider sailing on this specatacular vessel and if you have any specific questions about her please let me know.

Thanks for the kind words written in your posting and I send my best wishes to you and the family.
John

April Asked:
Dear John (please reply):
I have just recently become a fan as we are taking our first cruise in September on the Fantasy and I have spent the last month on the web soaking up as much information about Carnival as I can get. I think the planning is half the fun!

I have two questions for you though. Number one, according to a schedule you published at one time, Kevin Noonan will be the CD for my cruise and I would like to hear a little more about him.

And second, I would LOVE to sail with you. And I was wondering if you were considering taking a week or two on the Triumph once she moves to New Orleans. If so, I will most certainly try to be there. I only wish you could be on the Fantasy at the end of September.

Thank you so much for your time and humor!
April
Alabama

John Says:
Hello April
It is always an honour to welcome someone new to our humble little blog thingy and I hope that you continue to read before and after your Carnival Fantasy cruise. Lets start with your request for me to be the CD on the Carnival Triumph from the Big Easy next year. That is certainly something I would love to do as she has always been one of my favourite ships and of course i love New Orleans. I am working on my schedule at the moment and will let everyone know where I am going as soon as I can.

Now………….you asked for more information on your Cruise Director ” Noonan “…………..well here he is.

I was born in Warsaw NY (Near Buffalo) Sept. 2nd 1979. My Father is a County Court and Surrogate Court Judge and my Mom is the Administrator of an independent Senior Living facility. I am the 2nd of 4 boys. My older brother Ryan works for the government and I can’t tell you exactly what he does or I would have to kill you (no Jorge I will not give you a hint and just beat the crap out of you), my younger brother Brendan is in his last year of Cornell Veterinary School, and my youngest brother Mitch is a Junior in College studying Packaging Engineering (he has done one contract as a social host on the Triumph last year, I got to teach him the position on the Imagination). After graduating from high school in the top 10% of my class I went to the University of New Hampshire as a Chemistry Major. I joined the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity and was the social chair there for 3 semesters. After 2 years of college I had enough of studying and wanted out. I was looking for something to do other than go to school. I had worked at summer camps and the local YMCA for 7 years so in February 2000 , at the age of 20, I got a job on the Carnival Sensation as a youth counselor. I was planning on doing one contract and going back to school (like THAT’s an original story). I met a girl during that first contract, a dancer from England named Gemma Hunt (well it is Gemma Noonan now, damn I spoiled the ending). We were having a ball and decided to stay on ships for a while and I switched to the entertainment department in 2002 as a Teen Host (this is pre Club O2). I was a teen host for 2 months before I got promoted to Social Host. My first cruise as a Social Host was a charter, a NUDE CRUISE, on the Ecstasy. Honest to god my first intro as a host was “I was feeling really nervous back stage so Malcolm (the CD) told me to picture the audience naked…. I can’t believe it really works!!!” It brought the house down. That was the first time in my life that I was on stage and everyone was laughing at me (in a good way at least).

I then basically moved on to the Triumph and stayed there as a host for 4 contracts. That is when I really fell in love with this job. I did every job in the department on that ship: Light Tech, Fly Operator, Sound Tech., DJ, Karaoke Host, Social Host & Assistant Cruise Director. I even used to pose for pictures with Lumpy the snake with the guests after Kevin and Caruso’s Magic show. I loved learning new jobs and taking on new challenges. I went from the Triumph to the be part of the Start up and Inaugural team of the Liberty. I loved it there, Butch and I were the first ones to do the interviews in St. Marks Square in Italy (I still watch those DVDs from time to time they are hilarious). After 3 months I got promoted to Assistant Cruise Director and transferred to the Pride. I got my first taste of the CD position on the Pride in 2006 for a CD conference. I loved the position right away. On my next vacation I got married to Gemma on August 10th 2006 in England and then again on September 16th 2006 in New York. ( Marrying Gemma was such fun we wanted to do it on a second continent.) I have since been on four ships and was acting CD on the Imagination and I am now on the Carnival Destiny as Cruise Director. I have now spent about 1/3 of my life on cruise ships.

I am an avid Buffalo sports fan and have gone through hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of internet cards listening to Bills and Sabres games on line. I love Fantasy football, watching movies, gummi bears and beef jerky (but who doesn’t really?) I have 2 nephews that have one vowel between them in their names (unless you believe in the “sometimes Y” rule) Rhys & Lewys. They are really cute and my wife wants kids soooo bad. One of these days she is going to just stop taking the pill with out telling me I know it. My brother in law, Matt Prior, is the Wicket Keeper for the England Cricket Team. I am a big family man and either call or email my parents and brothers every week.

In my 9 years with Carnival I have…..

…LEARNED from all of the following Cruise Directors (some are no longer with us but are still worth mentioning) such as Chris Jefferson, Brett Alans, Peter Gibbs, Simon Prendergast, Mark Price, Troy Linton, Marahscalh Stanton, John Heald, Trevor Block, Valerie Crook, Jeff Brrrronson, Jeremy “Big Tex” Mayes, Skip Lyons, Malcolm Burn, Carlo Lombard, Shawn Bussey, Amy Van Wyk, Jorge Solano, Chris Roberts, Ralph Valente, Michael Mullane, Mark Hawkins, Matt Ross and Greg Hutson. I also worked with the following current CDs as hosts or ACDs before they got the position: Butch Begovich, Brent Loyer and Todd Wittmer. And I have learned a lot from each one of them.

…WORKED countless charters including Rockboat 8, Rockboat 9, Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd), a Journey/Styx/REO Speedwagon Charter, Vince Neil’s Motley Cruise, Sammy Hagar Cruise, Bare Necessities (insert witty comment here?), a Premier Christian Cruise and am currently on a MathWorks Charter.

…SAILED ON (in this order) the Sensation, Fascination, Spirit, Ecstasy, Triumph (forever), Liberty, Pride, Fantasy, Imagination, Spirit, Imagination (for 4 hours) and am on the Destiny at this moment until April.

…CRUISED Europe, ALL of the Caribbean, Panama Canal (twice), Baja Mexico, Alaska for a season and Hawaii twice.

…UNEXPECTEDLY been hit by a barge in the Mississippi River (Fantasy 2007) and lost air-conditioning on the Spirit in the Middle of our Hawaii run for 12 days (Spirit 2002).

…DONE more than most people do in a life time, seen more places than most 90 year olds and made thousands of great friends. I am looking forward to many more great years with this company.

Thanks Noonan…………and I know he and the staff of the Carnival Fantasy will make sure your first cruise wont be your last but will be the beginning of many.

Have fun and my best wishes to you all.
John

Paula Asked:
Dear John, (Please reply)
I wrote to you and received your response today. First, let me say that I went back and read every blog from Jan.1 2009 until today. I thoroughly enjoyed them. Next, I also have only received one issue of Currents since our next to last cruise in September 2008. (We cruised again in March 2009) I enjoy reading them and would like to make sure I am put on the list to receive them. Third, in reading the blogs I have gotten what seems to be several different dates on when Todd will be leaving the Carnival Dream. Our cruise is Jan 23. I have read in the blog that he will be there and also that he will be leaving the 28th (mid cruise) and you will be replacing him. If so, we will have the best of both worlds on our cruise. (especially since it’s our 10th CC.) Am looking forward to seeing you again. Also, I am also a diabetic who is pleased to hear that you are fighting for our needs. Bless you. How is the diet going? I am on 3 meds for diabetes and am also fighting to lose weight. Lastly, your daughter is so precious. Love her name too. Thanks for being you. The blog has truly made me feel like a special member of the Carnival family. I will continue to read and comment.

John Says:
Hello Paula
Your comment was a joy to read and I thank you for taking the time to write . I am going to ask that someone at Currents makes sure that they mail you the back copies and future copies and I am sorry that they have stopped coming……I will amend this situation. Now, I am due to arrive on the Carnival Freedom on January 23rd however I will not be the Cruise Director as I have a handover with Todd. My first cruise as CD will actually be the 30th of January and I remain there until the 20th of March. So…………we will get to meet but unfortuantley I will not be the Cruise Director. However the upside to that is you get to meet Todd who is brilliant at what he does.

My diet is going well but I hav emy bad days. My sugar level remains very good though and my non carb intake is certainly helping. I do feel we can do more as a cruise Line to help diabetics with the addition of more sugar free and low carb items and I will continue to do my best to make this happen.

Thanks you so very much for all the kind words.
Best wishes to you all
John

Fraser Asked:
John,
Please Respond
Last year I used the paper luggage tags, I printed them in the hotel the night before (no expense for me) and just folded and stapled, no need to laminate or cover in tape, they worked great. Also I have always noticed the the luggage porters have luggage tags if needed, after all they work for tips and will do what ever they can to make it easier. I for one am glad to see carnival finding way to save costs and keep the great rates.

Only 78 more days till I am on the Freedom, are you sure you cant hang on a few more days. Oh well maybe next time, I am sure I will have a great time with wee Jimmy, I just want to see this bedtime story.

Now to my question,
I have heard that port Everglades can get a little congested, no problem as I will be going on a wonderful vacation and will probably have more of a wait in the airport the day before, Is there a good time to get there to get the least amount of wait, and what time would you recommend avoiding getting there(other than 4:05 to watch the ship sail).

I was also wondering in Panama how close to the canal does the ship dock, is it within walking or taxi distance?

Now for the drunk girl, I think it was great the way you handled this and even better that your staff took care of her and not let her wander the ship. Also very responsable to cut off the source of Alcohol(and revenue). I have worked security for concerts in the past and I know how hard these situations can be to deal with, the disruption that can be caused as well as the concern to the girls safety and health. Bravo!!

Love the Blog, Love the pictures of beautiful Kye and cannot wait till the day we sail together. Keep fighting the good fight
Fraser

John Says:
Hello Fraser
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the paper tags and as you said…..Carnival continues to make sure that we provide the most affordable, best value fun that can be found on any vacation.
If we were still at pier 19 at Port Everglades I would have said that due to the size of the terminal building that regardless of what time you arrived the terminal would be busy. However, the Carnival Freedom now docks at terminal 21 and this has really improved things. There are still lines…….that will never change……..but they are fast moving and I am sure that people who are reading this blog thingy and who have recently sailed on the Carnival Freedom who will tell you that there is a vast improvement. The busiest time is between 12:30pm and 2:00pm. I asked our Guest Services Manager Anna to tell me the percentages of what time people check in and so this coming Saturday she will monitor this and I will post the results………….it will be interesting to see.

The ship docks in Colon which is about a one hour bus drive away from the Gaton locks of the Panama Canal. We have some superb tours that go there and if you need any information or advice in this regard please let me know.

Thanks again for taking the time to write and I remain at your service.
Best wishes
John

Erik & Sharon Asked:
John (please reply),
My wife and I will be sailing on the Carnival Conquest on 1/3/09 out of Galveston for our 5th wedding anniversary as well as our very first cruise.

A number of my friends and relations have expressed an interest in getting us Carnival Gift Certificates as presents, but they are unable to find anything other than drink coupons from the Carnival “Gifts & Services” webpages (http://www.carnival.com/BonVoyage/Default.aspx)
Any suggestions?
Our Thanks,
E&S Valentine

John Says:
Hello Erik and Sharon
Firstly let me say what nice friends you have for wanting to buy you gifts. The bon voyage page you mentioned contains lots of ideas including wines, champagnes and other gifts. Is there something else they specificaly want to get you……….please let me know and I will do my best to try and help. You will have a wonderful anniversary cruise and if you want to make it even more special may I suggest you book a table at our amazing Steakhouse. This can be done online and for a cost of just $30 pp I promise that you will experience a 5 course dinner served in a romantic and very special atmosphere that will be unforgetable. Now, we are looking at adding this to our bon voyage selection so friends like yours can indeed pre pay. However until that happens……….and just a thought…………..why not let your friends give you $60 and that will pay for the most memorable of meals.

If you wish to pre book on the night of your anniversary you can do so by logging on to the “My Cruise” section of www.carnival.com.
Best wishes to you both
John

Elizabeth Asked:
Is it too late to ask for a Birthday memento for my husband, Howell, and daughter, Anne? They are both celebrating birthdays on the Conquest leaving Galveston on Sunday. They are celebrating 113 years. Cabin —-.
Thank you,
Elizabeth Gwin

John Says:
Hello Elizabeth
Its not too late and I will send them birthday wishes as requested.
Cheers
John

Geri & Jack Asked:
Hi John – PLEASE REPLY re SUPPER CLUB
We would like to keep the SUPPER CLUB name instead of changing it to Steak House. We have always been drawn to the Supper Club name originally and usually go two or three times during a cruise. It is so original and suits Carnival so much. We have Steak Houses on every corner it seems and that name is not original. Besides there are so many other entrees offered other than steak. Vegetarians might like Supper Club vs Steak House is one thought.

Is it too late to leave it as Supper Club or have they already changed it?

Just our honest oninion. Mind you – we love everything about the CARNIVAL’S SUPPER CLUB and that is why we care, especiallly the name.
Cheers,
Geri & Jack
almost to be Platinum and great Spa room fans!

John Says:
Hello Geri and Jack
I love honest opinions and long may they find a place here on the blog thingy…………i will show you mine if you show me yours.

The Steak House name is secondary…………let me explain. Each Steak house has a pre name ……….here on the Carnival Freedom it’s the Sun King Steak House and on the Carnival Splendor its the Pinnacle Steakhouse. The menus are prodomoniatley………….prodomernatley………prodominlatley……………….mostly based around steaks. we offer a wonderful lobster main course but it is mostly a meat menu which I guess therefore makes sense that we call them steakhouses. However, i know what you mean. The Supper Club wording does conjour up the ambience and service and food that we serve and regardless of what we call it i still can proudly say that they are some of the finest dining establishments at sea. I will pass your comments onto the VP of Food and Beverage and it will be interesting to see what he says…………i will let you know.
best wishes to you both
John

Hottycruiser Asked:
Hi John
(please respond)
Wow found we have become addicted to your blog thingy. As soon as we get in, time to check what Johns posted. Some times we envy you about your jobs and sometimes not as i know how fun it can be dealing with those certain customers. at least mine leave within 5 to ten minutes, yours just hang around for a week expecting you to kiss their butt the whole time. Hats off to you for being able to endure..
Thank you so much for getting back to us in regards to how many children will be on the cruise in sept.

So here’s our question, we’ve heard that the Miami port has an electronic check-in kiosks but you have to pre-register first. What exactly does that entail, is that just the fun passes or is there something else that needs to be done as well?
Thanks again for your help. All the best to you and your family
take care and be safe.
Bronwen
(btw you were right, its welsh. Just in bad welsh spelling

John Says:
Hello Bronwen
I am so happy to read that you are enjoying the blog thingy and I hope you continue to do so for a long time. We did indeed just add some electronic kiosks to the embarktion terminal in Miami and from what I hear they have been very succesful. What excatly they do I don’t know………….well…………I think I do ………but I do not want to give you the wrong information so let me pass you over to my mate Vance who wrote the press release for this and can probably add more specific details about what they are used for.
Vance………..can you help?

From Vance: Sure thing, John. I was out there on the day that the kiosks debuted and they work much like an on-line check in terminal at the airport. Guests just enter their name and after provide the necessary documentation proceed to a counter to pick up their Sail & Sign keys. From there it’s right on to the ship and their “Fun Ship” vacation! From what I’ve seen the kiosks are very efficient and streamline the embarkation process.

Thanks mate and if you have any further questions please let me know. Thanks so much for the kind words for my family and I send my best wishes to you and yours
John

Sheila Asked:
Hello John,
Please reply.
I posted a comment on July 7th regarding an earlier post thanking you for having the padded lounge made for my daughter on Carnival Pride.
I didn’t receive an answer to the first post and the next one is “awaiting moderation” still. Did I do something wrong? Am I banned from posting?

Great picture of Kye today. I actually think she does look a bit like you.

John Says:
hello Sheila
You are definatley not banned from posting Sheila. I did answer you yesterday so i am sire our Q and A’s have crossed somewhere on the world wide thingy. I did not however receive a full review of your cruise but did get the thank you note from your regarding my assistance with your daughter for which you are very welcome.
Please let me know if you need anything and again i am sorry if I did not respond immediatley as sometimes with so many questions to answer there is often a backlog.
My best wishes to you and the family
John

April Asked:
Dear John (please reply),
I apologize if I am posting this twice, but the one I put yesterday went to moderation and still hasn’t been posted so I don’t know if it actually went through.

I am a new fan of yours, having just been told by my husband we can FINALLY book our first cruise. So, I have been all over the internet trying to soak up as much information as possible before we hit the Fantasy in Sept. I am so excited, I can barely stand it.

I have three questions for you:

1. What is your favorite thing about the Fantasy?

2. Kevin Noonan will be our CD according to a schedule you once posted, can you tell me anything about him?

3. Are you planning to sail on the Triumph any once she moves to New Orleans? If so, I will be sure to look for that week and try to book.
Thank you so much for your time! I LOVE how open and honest you are. You wit is really a breath of fresh air.
Thanks again,
April

John Says:
Hello April
No need to apologize, write as often as you want and dont worry that your extra question has reduced my two typing fingers to knobby blleeding stubs.

Lets answer your questions:
The Fantasy as shw was known back in 1990 was my first experience of delivering a new ship. I was a Social Host and it was something i will never forget. Seeing her for the first time was exterodinary as she was for those days……………..a leviathan of a vessel. Now of course she has been rejuvinated with a massive make over called evolutions of fun. Now if you click on those words that one of the fourteen Stephanies has highlighted in blue you will see what my favourite aspects od the new Carnival Fantasy are……………..and I have a feeling they will be for you as well.

I answered the Noonan question above and hopefully that has now got you very excited about your first Carnival cruise. As I wrote before you made fingers bleed…..I am here should you need anything at all.
best wishes
John

OK, thats all for today………………..more of course tomorrow.

Now……………..if there is one group of people who will be excited about what I am going to tell you its you lot ……………….we have formed a quite remarkable community here on the blog thingy and with 4.5 million slaps it is one that is ever growing. We thought therefore that it would be wonderful to try and create a community while on board your Carnival Dream and so Stephanie and people with beards created ……………….the Fun Hub.

Here is the official press release.

Interactive ‘FunHub’ to Debut on New Carnival Dream – Press Release

Now as the Fun Hub is all about computers and intanet stuff I think its best left to one of the fourteen Stephanies to explain more. So as I don’t have a beard or eat Tofu………….lets pop on over to www.carnival.com/dream to unveil through words and video more about this brillinat addition to your Carnival Dream. Go and have a look now and I will wait here for you.

Click here to visit the Carnival Dream

Welcome back…………it looks fantastic doesn’t it? If you have any questions about this please let me know . I can tell you that Todd and his staff are working on various ideas about this as we speak and we will keep you informed here on the blog.

Talking about your Carnival Dream I can also tell you that we have two more very special entertainment additions to the ship that you don’t know about………….and I will be telling you about those very soon……………..and they are brilliant.

Oh yes……………….I may have some news on the Carnival pins next week as well.

Well, the bedtime story was hilarious again last night thanks to the three characters. It amazes me that people who i ask to do pretty silly things…..well……………do them. I am sure if someone asked me to do this on vacation I would tell them to bugger off………..but that’s the magic of Carnival and the spirited people who walk up our gangways.
here are a few photos of last nights show.

I love these 6 day cruises. yes they are manic and finding time to write a blog thingy and do everything else is quite difficult. I am writing this today in jamaica. I should be ashore enjoying my favourite port but I have no time. I am not looking for sympathy here……………well maybe a little…………but it is important that i take this time to write as I have no time later with the past guest parties and two shows etc.

I need to go to the toilet now as the steak and broccoli I ate last night is trying to make an entrance. I have been ignoring the urge to go since i satrted writing but as I now have a turtles head in my underpants i had better go………..and I will leave you with some letters from the morning show.

Here I am ……….4 pounds lighter.

A very strange thing happened to me yeterday. After the talent show and bedtime story I went up to Lido Deck to watch jaime and the gang host the deck party. On my way I was stopped by a lady in her thirties who told me that she was a huge fan and that she followed my every move on Twitter! Oh, I said………..that’s nice and steered the conversation away from that to “did you enjoy the show” etc. That’s because I had no idea what she was talking about. What did she mean ‘ I follow you on Twitter”………….I don’t write a Twitter thingy……………..do I ?…………………………..’ STEPHANIEEEEEEEEEEE “

Maybe one of the fourtneen Steph’s is doing it for me ………maybe there is a link to the blog thingy on the twit thingy………………but i know I am not writing anything there.

I know I have a Facebook page which I ignore as though it was French. I had held out against Facebook for many months, on the grounds that nothing good can come of communicating with friends primarily through a social networking site. Three centuries more of Facebook and we will have evolved into limbless blobs, unable and unwilling to move away from a computer screen. We will feed through straws and we will poo down tubes.

I am not on MySpace. I visited it once and found a dark world of teen slang and pictures of amateur rock stars. I didn’t go back. And what happened to me in an a room on SecondLife, the online virtual world, I still feel unable to talk about in public.

Twittering (or tweeting, for short) seems like a new level of nonsense, a nonsense that sums up everything that is wrong with modern society. As far as I can tell, you write something that is no more than 140 characters long (because no one these days has a concentration span longer than a txt msg). Then you post it, or text it, or something it onto the website so other people, or “followers”, can know what you’re up to. “Took a pee………missed the target,” for example. “On a RCI cruise and had to pay for my steak.” “Sitting at the computer writing a tweet about sitting at the computer writing a tweet in order to avoid doing anything meaningful with my day or, indeed, life.” Of course that last one would be banned because it’s 19 characters too long. ………………yes I counted the letters just for youwhich makes me a very sad bugger indeed.

One of the joys of this job is conversation. If you are tired of a society of e-mailing, Facebooking, web-surfing, BlackBerrying and want to remeber the joy of real interaction with real people………..take a cruise…………because people…………..complete strangers………………actually talk to each other without the aid of an electronic device…………….twitter my arse.

Goodnight
Your friend
John

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