Last night we had the Fun Hop. This is an activity originated by Carnival’s top CD Todd Wittmer. This is where we break the ship up into three teams based on the Carnival colours (spelt correctly) of Red, White and Blue. Now, Todd is a great singer …….. OK ………..Todd is a singer……….but I am not and so while the entertainment staff “rocked the house” as they say in street talk thingy, I stood back and watched from a safe distance.
I was talking to a nice couple from Vancouver when it happened……..a lady looked at me from across the Promenade Deck and smiled at me. Being a cruise director and a warm cuddly kind of chap, I smiled back at her. It just happened. It was a quick smile, nothing at all inviting – but she took it upon herself to approach me. She was very tanned and slim, middle-aged, and she walked over and said, “I like your face.”
Who says that? “I like your face.”……… She didn’t even love my face…….she just liked it.
Trying to think of something to say after that amazing line I asked where she was from. “South Carolina,” she drawled.
Actually what she said was “Soooooooooouuuuuuuuuutttttttthhhhhh Carooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnaaa”………….I could have read War and Peace by the time she had finished speaking.
I was about to ask her if she was having a nice cruise when she started to touch my hair and said, “Y’all got salt and pepper haiiiiirrrr. That’s harrrrrrd to finnnnnnd.”
I realized at this point that many of the passengers on Promenade Deck were looking at me and the Southern Belle who had attached herself to me like a dog humping someone’s leg………and I was very, very embarrassed.
Now, she was no beauty queen but then again I am not exactly male model material either and I may have been quite flattered if she hadn’t been sponsored by Budweiser. I mean this lady was quite happy and I knew as impressed as she was with my salt and pepper hair that as soon as I walked away, there would be another face around the corner she liked just as much as mine.
And thank god for my raspberry which I pretend had buzzed in my pocket and so I said, “One moment Captain,” un-hooked her arm from playing with my hair said “Excuse me, I will be right back”…….. And buggered off………right back my arse………..and that was me……….back in the cabin…….with the door bolted.
I guess she was trying to pick me up………or anyone up…………..and are the words “pick up” still appropriate in today’s dating game? I have never had much experience in this mostly thanks to my mate Alan. We would trawl the clubs looking for girls who like my Southern Belle friend would be plastered and possibly have the inability through vodka not to realize how ugly we both were. My pick up lines were dreadful “Please excuse me. Very sorry to bother you, but do you have a moment? My friend has a girlfriend. And, um, she doesn’t like the last girl that he went out with. And what do you… I mean… is that…”
I would get it out eventually, while the girls would stare at me like I was some sort of stammering sex pest………..which if you actually think about it…………I was.
If I was bad at pick up lines Alan was horrific. There were many times he would leave the clubs and bars with a red face………not through alcohol or dancing all night but from where various girls had slapped him round the face or he would be covered in their vomit ……………why……………well for using what he used to call “Leave it to Uncle Alan” pick up lines…………..like these beauties:
“Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche”……………….he had a Skoda by the way.
“Are you a parking ticket because you got fine written all over you.”
“You might as well have rumpy pumpy with me, because I am going to tell my mate John that you did anyway.”
And his all time classic……“My name is Fred Flintstone and I will make your Bed Rock”
I suppose if you’re going to hit on someone you have to believe they’re lucky to be on the receiving end of your pick-up. When I said goodbye to miss South Carolina and walked away she had a look that said, “Wow……our cruise director must be gay” … I have to stop smiling at passengers.
Time for today’s questions…….here we ho………..sorry………was thinking about someone else …………I meant to say……here we go…..not ho.
Michelle Asked:
Hey John, it’s me Michelle A.K.A. Mary….. What do you mean last cruise before you go home. Are you not going to do anymore cruises? I really enjoyed my cruise with you and my husband just loved the video of Bedtime story, we agree with you that God does have a since of humor. I am loving your blog thingy and I am truly blessed to have met you. Eli told me that he’s a teacher also, please tell him and Jamie that I said hello. I only wish that I could stay in touch with you guys to keep you up on my progress in school. Take care and God Bless you!!!
MichelleJohn Says:
Hello Michelle
I know you didn’t ask for a reply but I wanted to say hello and thanks for being such a superstar last cruise. But mostly I wanted to thank you for giving up your current job to learn to teach special needs children. As I said on the ship, we don’t pay the teachers of this world enough money and those who take the time and take up the considerable challenge of teaching children with extra needs deserve all our praise.It was a joy to meet you and we all send you our best wishes as you start your new life as an educator.
Hope to see you again soon.
JohnTara T. Asked:
Please reply
I see on your itinerary a wedding renewal. My husband and I are cruising, our first, on Aug 9th, Freedom Western Caribbean 6 night, and are celebrating our 10th anniversary the last night of the cruise.How would I go about setting up a renewal? Is it too late?
John Says:
Hello Tara
I did indeed mention our wedding renewal package which is hosted by the captain of the ship. It is not too late to organize this. You can do this online by clicking on this link thingy http://www.carnival.com/cms/fun/weddings/pdf/vowrenewal08-09.pdf?icid=CC_Weddings_52Or you can book it onboard when you arrive. If you take the second option please let me know by posting another comment marked for my reply and I will need your full name and state room number please. I will then alert the vessel.
Best wishes
JohnMike J. Asked:
John please reply.
John,
Let me start by saying that my son and I had a GREAT time on the Destiny. Captain Scala and his crew were top notch. Our first cruise with Carnival will definitely not be our last.There was one major disappointment, however. I booked our shore excursions on-line and was interested in Carnival’s “Captain Explorer Out-Island & Snorkeling Expedition “on Grand Turk. The excursion description on-line was very misleading. It said it included snorkeling, a hike and boat ride. My son and I don’t snorkel so I emailed the shore excursion department and was told that we didn’t have to participate in the snorkeling portion of the excursion and we could wait on the boat.
However, the description did not mention that in order to participate in the “hike” on the island, we would have to swim ashore. We were not “dressed” to swim because we did not know that was included and besides, we cannot swim well. The online description just said “….
Then go ashore for a hike…” when it should say “SWIM ashore”.If we had known that was part of the excursion we would have booked something else. Instead, we ended up spending nearly $200 of my hard earned money on an excursion we did not really enjoy or could really do anything on.
I think CCL needs to update the description so people will know that you need to swim to get to shore for the island exploration hike.
Being our first cruise I didn’t think about bringing this to the attention of anyone at the shore excursion or purser’s desk after our excursion.
Thanks, John.
Mike J.John Says:
Hello Mike
I am so happy to read that you enjoyed the hospitality of our crew and their friendliness certainly comes from great leadership and in Captain Scala they have the very best of role models.I am not familiar with this tour but it seems that we need to look at the description which should I think mention that you will need to swim ashore. Please allow me a few days to check into this and I will get back to you with the answer. Until then I truly apologize for this negative but hope there were many positives for you both.
Please send my best to Melissa and I will write again soon.
Best wishes
JohnScott P. Asked:
Greetings John! I haven’t seen you in a few years but have cruised with you numerous times over the years. I thoroughly enjoy your blog and thank you for taking time to keep it current. It really is greatly appreciated.I have a question about the Carnival Colors. I am Platinum and close to the 25 milestone and maybe I have just seen the Colors so many times. But honestly it is really getting old. I know in the beginning they were doing Red, White, and Blue and then later condensed it down to Red and Blue teams. Are there any plans to end this? I understand the purpose and trying to get passengers more involved, but there is nothing more annoying than at the deck party having to listen to screaming about a color. I was on the Fantasy again last week and I actually went back inside for a few minutes to let them get past that.
Let’s go back to the good old days where you just go have a great time and Conga line and all the good stuff!
And something I have wondered.
Do staff members actually keep track of the points? I mean it seems impossible given the amount of activities.
One last question. I also hate the new S&S cards especially being Platinum. I will be on the Valor again in September, do you know if they will have the new Platinum card you mentioned by then? Thanks for your time John and hope to cruise with you again soon!
ScottJohn Says:
Hello Scott
Thanks so much for the kind words about the blog and I hope we get to cruise together again soon. Now, one thing about this blog is that I always speak my mind and I am not going to say I like something if I do not…….and I don’t like the Carnival Colors activity. I disliked it even more when the scoring was given out every night in the dining room which personally I thought disrupted dinner and I am glad to say this has now stopped.The purpose of the activity was to bring the ship together and every time someone won a trivia or a game they would score points for their colour (spelt correctly) team. Some ships are still doing this while some are doing what Todd was doing here and what I have continued. We do the Carnival Colors contest on one night only as a fun hop from lounge to lounge and then announcing the dining team at the deck party. For me…….this is the way to go and I think you will find that most ships are doing this now. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to build the excitement over a few hours and makes for one heck of a deck party.
You asked if the staff actually keeps totals of the points…….well………..I am going to say yes………but……..say no as well because I can’t answer of course for every ship.
I will pass on your thoughts around the fleet and let’s see what other bloggers opinions are on this…………speak up everyone.
Congratulations on your milestone status and you will indeed have the new and very much improved sail and sign card when you cruise next time on the Carnival Valor.
Please let me know if need anything at all.
Best wishes
JohnWhitefamily15165 Asked:
Dear John,
We sailed on Carnival freedom on July 12-18 and a couple was left in Key West and you told us that we could read about it on your blog the reason they never made it back on the ship in Cayman Islands…I have been reading your blog and so far cannot find it? Please help!John Says:
Hello the White Family.
I think you are talking about Mr. and Mrs……actually I really shouldn’t print their name. Yes…they missed the ship and I had great plans for them once they returned.However …….. the lady was so distraught at what had happened and so mad at her husband for insisting on hiring a car and driving so far from the ship that she flew home…. without him and he returned to the ship on his own. Thus, there was little that I could do or say on stage.
I hope you had a great cruise. It really was a fun voyage and I hope you have many happy memories of our time together and that you pop on over to the blog now and then.
My best wishes to all the family
JohnMike Asked:
Hi John,
My wife and I will be onboard July 26th.Will Terri Jo, the keyboard casino musician be onboard also? Thanks, and keep up the good work!
John Says:
Hello Mike
Terri Jo is on vacation at the moment but her replacement is amazing. Her name is Julie and you must check out her brilliant music. I will see you soon.
Best wishes
JohnDavid and Rachel G. Asked:
Dear John,
My wife and I are finally getting settled back in to “normalcy” after a WONDERFUL HONEYMOON on the Carnival Freedom July 12th-18th. We would like to thank you and the rest of the crew for making our honeymoon perfect! I have never laughed so much watching your shows and of course the other shows were great too (especially Happy). The ship was absolutely beautiful and the guests and staff were some of the friendliest people we have met in a very long time. I have been on a few cruises and never enjoyed them….until this one. On the last day I told my wife (who loves cruises); “I can’t wait for the next one”.Living in Florida, we get used to the heat, so we are hoping to do the Alaska cruise next. Any recommendations on ports or certain “must do’s”?
Thanks again for everything!
David and Rachel G.John Says:
Hello David and Rachel
What a wonderful review of this ship and how chuffed I am that you laughed and had the best of times. Thanks also for mentioning comedian Happy Cole who is as you said ….. hilarious. Alaska is an experience like no other and one that anyone who has experienced will never forget. Unfortunately I have never cruised to the Last Frontier although it is on my bucket list of things to do. I am of course nervous about cruising to Alaska as men with beards tell me that because I drive a Range Rover that I have killed many a polar bear and melted many an iceberg ………so I doubt the locals will welcome me much.However, my friend and cruise director of the Carnival Spirit Chris “Bubba” Roberts is the Alaskan expert and I will ask him to tell me which is his favourite. I will have that answer for you soon. Until then I hope your Honeymoon lasts forever and wish you both a very happy life together.
JohnDave V. Asked:
Hi John Please Reply
I was just reading some of your blogs and took a stroll down memory lane. When you were just John the CD. Oh sure, they did have your picture in the brochure back in 1996, but you were still John our “Cruise Director” So I thought I would drag you into this memory lane, back to January 1997 on the brand new Carnival Destiny. It was the week that Cathy Lee was shooting the video for the travel agents. A couple came up to you on the stage after the Port Lecture, I sporting an Imagination tee shirt and my wife a Sensation tee shirt. You told her you really liked her shirt, Isn’t that where you met your bride?Well anyway, I said to you “You have a birthday this week, don’t you?”
And you gasped in surprise, “You remember my birthday, what is your cabin number, I want to send you a bottle of champagne, on me.” Well, we never did get the bottle of champagne, and because you are such a good CD, we didn’t care. We were just happy to see you again, and sail with you on your birthday. Now, on all the other Carnival Cruises I have taken, you were not there. So, if you would like to make good on the champagne, we are sailing on the Pride on July 31 from “Charm City”, cabin # 5150, and if you can’t, well that’s okay to. I still remember you when you were just plain old “John the Cruise Director”.
Dave V.PS. We are also booked in October on the Carnival Sensation with 2 of our grandsons. Won’t be quite the same without you, but we will try.
John Says:
Hello Dave
Back then I didn’t send you the champagne because I was just John the skinny bottom of the heap Cruise Director with about as much power as a Yugo. However, now I am John the extra large CD and have upgraded from a Yugo to a VW with two flat tires and so you shall receive a bottle of champagne …or two.Thanks for all the kind words mate and I hope one day we can see each other soon.
Best wishes to you both
JohnRuth and Al G. Asked:
Why can you not confirm our dinner reservation request of a table for two immediately? We had no problems doing this on Celebrity and Holland America.John Says:
Hello Ruth
Can I start by kindly asking that you post your comments on the blog rather than e-mail them directly to me? I apologize for asking you this and I am not sure who posted my e-mail address on Cruise Critic but they should not have done. I answer around 60 questions a week and I just don’t have time to check in other areas such as my Carnival e-mail account ……….I truly hope you understand.As for your dinner reservation, I did check and you have confirmed early sitting. The maitre d does not work this far in advance when it comes to table assignments and once again if I may kindly ask that you remind me two weeks before you sail I will do my best to reserve you the table for two that you desire.
Best wishes to you both
JohnMark M. Asked:
JohnPleaseRespond
Hey John,
This is my first time blogging so pardon me if I am doing this incorrectly.I thought I read somewhere that Carnival is in talks with possibly doing a cruise based reality show with you being one of the stars? Is this correct?
I think this would be a great concept as so much happens onboard a ship that millions around the world would be able to see. I think it would be great to see how cruise crew handle some of the rude, brainless, and miserable guests (you know who you are) that end up onboard. We have all run into them onboard a ship and sometimes think they should not be allowed in public (and certainly not on a “fun” Ship) and should rather be locked away so their misery does not spread like the H1N1 plague! I have seen how calm and professional Carnival staff handle these miserable, poor excuses for humans and think it would be awesome for all to see. This might even help stop the spread of the H1N1 misery flu as people will be able to see how foolish they look and decide to act civil while in public.
Bless you all who work onboard that have to deal with this nonsense.
Hopefully the foreign crew understand that these dopes do not represent the majority of Americans, but represent a minority of Americans who fall into a class of their own………
All the Best,
Mark M.John Says:
Hello Mark
Your posting preaches the doctrines that we all try to live by as crew members here on the Fun Ships. Even though we have giant ships with giant screens and more dining options than ever, it is our crew which continues to be the iconic onboard experience and I am proud to work alongside them. As for the TV show. Well, I did meet with a posh agent from Los Angeles who shook my hand and told me that the blog would make a great TV show………and then he buggered off and I never heard from him again………oh well.Thanks again Mark and I say that on behalf of the 23,000 seagoing crew members currently working hard on the best fleet of cruise ships…………in the world.
Best wishes
JohnDave Asked:
please reply
As ever, I am playing catch up with your blog, firstly, as others have said, Kye is very cute.Ok, my question, the shots of the Dream are kind of distorted so it’s a little hard to tell, are the Balcony cabins on the sides of the ship set back a ways ? I can see the clear difference at the aft and whilst I am not too happy about it (I love my aft wrap sea views) I will learn to live with it I am just wondering what type of view will be had from the side cabins.
John Says:
Hello Dave
I hope you had a chance to catch up on the blog now and thanks for saying Kye is cute………just like her Dad. I will be taking many more photos of your Carnival Dream when I visit again in September. The balconies are set back some as we now have an outside promenade that you can walk all the way round on. If you stand on a deck 6 and upwards balcony or sit on your balcony chair you still have wonderful views of the ocean. However, it should be pointed out that if you lean over the balcony you also have a view of what’s happening on the Promenade. Obviously, the higher the deck your cabin is on the less a view of the promenade you have.I hope this helps and if you have another follow up question please let me know.
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today.
I Just wanted to clear something up that I see one or two of you jumped on. I mentioned fruit punch and lemonade were available and I meant that they were available as part of the fountain fun soda card option. They are served from cans……just like Diet Coke etc. We have not returned the fruit punch to the Lido deck drink dispensers. I wonder what ever happened to the idea of finding a replacement product……..let me check. Sorry for any confusion caused.
Here are the latest photos from Boris of your Carnival Dream.
This morning I had a chat with all 344 Stephanies about your Carnival Dream Bloggers Cruise. We finalized a lot of things including the two private shore excursions, the private shows and tea times and soon………very soon……….we will be launching a contest here on the blog thingy with a spectacular prize going to the winner.
Now, I also want to change the logo we put on the T-Shirts as “I Love John’s Thingy ” needs to go into retirement……….any suggestions on what you would like on your mystery gifts and bloggers T-shirts?
Now, I also know that many readers of the blog had booked previous to me announcing that we would hold a Bloggers Cruise on your Carnival Dream and had booked using a past guest or military code etc. Therefore, and to make sure none of you are left out of the private events and shows and receive the gifts we need you to register and to help you do this….here is one of the Stephanies………I have no idea which one…….but one of them will tell you what to do if you did not book using the fare code thingy.
Hello all bloggers, Steph here. Which one…is the trivia game you will have to play to find out.
Here is the scoop on the fare code…If you have already booked your DREAM cruise and did not use the bloggers fare code…email socialnetworking@carnival.com with your name and booking information. Make sure that the subject line of your email says: Bloggers Fare Code. So that the email can easily be identified and not get lost in email cyberspace.
We want to make sure that ALL of our very important blogger guests are included in all the FUN activities as well as receive the really cool gifts we have in store for you.
Now for the very very very important part.
The deadline is August 15th.
Sorry there are no exceptions. After this date you will be required to enter the bloggers fare code when making your DREAM reservations. If you need help or have any questions please feel free to let me know. With that said, I am off to take my two year old to get a lollipop mess of a haircut. OOOps just gave away the answer.
For the logo……..I was thinking…………”PAY FOR A STEAK………..MY ARSE”
I learnt something today………the word POSH has nautical roots — port out, starboard home = Posh…………..who knew? Say the word posh and cruise ship in the same sentence and there is no doubt the next word will be Seabourn. Even with credit and crunch still on the breakfast menu there are many lucky sods who are willing to pay for luxury and when they do get their black American Express cards out……..it’s usually to pay for a suite on a Seabourn ship where they know they will experience a level of attentiveness they expect and demand. We have been highlighting the new Seabourn Odyssey on the blog thingy and so it is only fitting that we acknowledge this special award that Seabourn has received today.
Congratulations to them and one day…….maybe one day……….I can sneak onboard a Seabourn ship and share the life styles of the rich and tanned with you all.
My friend Al Ernst, Carnival’s 344th best comedian arrives today in Tortola. I truly love it when he is on board as we have a lot of fun together on stage and I get to be the straight man of the comedy duo which is a nice change of pace for me. I will also ask him to co- host the morning show with me and all in all we should bring some laughter to the end portion of this cruise.
The weather remained grey but dry in Antigua and today in Tortola at least the sun is putting up a fight…….OK it has as much chance of winning as an asthmatic vegetarian called Raymond has of surviving 10 rounds with Mike Tyson……but at least it’s putting up a little bit of resistance. Surprisingly the guests are having fun though and tonight I have the talent show and bedtime story so hopefully this will help continue to keep the mood of the guests a happy one despite the lack of Caribbean sunshine.
Many of our guests have taken the chance to go to Virgin Gorda today on our organized shore excursions. This is a little known island in a country that rarely makes it onto cruise ship itineraries. Scattered over miles of incomparably blue sea, the steep, green chain of the British Virgin Islands is among the most peaceful and least exploited corners of the region.
This particular Virgin — the “Fat One,” according to Spanish explorers, with a belly of forested hills (protected as a national park) in the north and flattish lands of scrub and cactus in the south — is the second-largest of the BVIs, yet it’s still just eight square miles. Most visitors come by boat, drawn by the huge expanse of sheltered turquoise waters in the North Sound, two miles across and enclosed by reefs and mini islands (including Mosquito, Prickly Pear and Richard Branson’s Necker Island). Gorda offers superb stretches of pure white sand and today many of the guests will be swimming in the rock pools that have formed between giant boulders and in the cave pools which are crystal clear. There is also a beach that I will definitely have to visit as it has my name written all over it…………… “Little Dix Bay.”
One thing I have learnt over the years that I have been privileged to be a cruise director is how to accept a complaint as something priceless. Many times guests have complaints that are justified and when they do we have to act immediately while they are still on board. I encourage anyone who feels that we can do something to make a negative into a positive to let us know onboard and not wait until you get home. I know I highlight the occasional negative comment here but I share these with you most of the time because they are usually outrageous……but sometimes…….they are definitely not ……. like this one
Guest: Mr. ————Ref: 840406943A
Cabin: ______ Booking#: ________ Added-Changed: 07/21/09 – 07/21/09
Refused Breakfast
Guest came to desk and reported that he arrived at the Lido Deck at 11:50 am and stood in line for the last of the breakfast service. By the time he reached the omelet station he was told that he was too late. Guest said that the guest in front of him had ordered eggs which had been done and that there were no other persons behind him but he was told no.
This kind of thing drives me crazy. Now, I can tell you that this crew member was not being rude …….although that is obviously how it was perceived by the guest.
No……..this crew member had been told by his supervisor that the line needed to close at noon…… and when this poor chap asked for an omelet it was already noon……and even though there was no other guest in line……….he said, “No.”
And I am glad this guest told us as if he hadn’t the food and beverage manager may never have known about it and it could have happened again……and again. Now if there were 30 people in line well that’s a different story…….but one…..we can and we must do better.
So, even though I highlight the outrageous and sometimes comical comments we receive each and every cruise, I encourage anyone who sails with us and who sees something that we need to know about to let us know as soon as possible.
But not if you have a comment like this one which was sent to me by my friend and Cruise Director colleague Lenny Halliday who is currently serving on the Carnival Victory. He sent me this complaint from……and I am embarrassed to say….a British guest.
“Hello John
I thought you might like this comment for your blog
All the best
Lenny”
Guest: _________ Ref: 8409566942A
Cabin: ____ Booking#: _______ Added-Changed: 07/22/09 – 07/22/09
TOO MANY AMERICANS
Guest informed GSA that they were surprised that there were so many Americans on board the ship Mr.______ said that they were loud and obnoxious and that this is not what he thought the cruise would have been. Guest said that they usually cruise P&O cruises which are all English.
That’s brilliant. I can just picture this poor British chap in his pink shirt and blue blazer complaining that about “those vulgar Americans.” Still……at least this pompous arse has broken that stereotype that says British people never complain and that we are all a race of painfully polite, cricket obsessed over boilers of vegetables, who, when not queuing politely or reading Jane Austen, are taking tea and cucumber sandwiches with Mrs. Bucket with our little fingers raised in the air before popping home for a huge portion of spotted dick.
Ta, Ta for know and have a spiffing evening.
Your stiff lipped jolly good friend
John Heald, Esq.
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
John… I’d suggest that very famous funnel image that Lance Gunberg did!! He was kind enough to allow me to use the image for a t-shirt. You might recall it from the NOLA Bloggers… ‘Lookin’ for a rock wall?? CLIMB THIS!!’
Too many Americans? Bless their little British hearts!! I guess no matter where we hail from we all have a skewed view of the world. I wonder if the overwhelmed Brit still calls the US ‘the Colonies’???
A Stephanies guessing game! How cool is that!! Kind like a shell game or something! Which Stephanie is behind the blog thingy… FUN!!!
All the best to Heidi and Kye. Please say hi to Al Ernst for me!!!
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
Please reply
Dear John,
My husband and I will be celebrating his 50th birthday (I am 3 years younger than he is – haha) with our very first cruise on the Carnival Imagination in November. Sooooo excited!
I enjoy your blog thingy very much indeed.
You provided me with some moments of light relief today after I had just flooded my kitchen while changing the refrigerator water filter.
Well, I wondered if you could give the answer to a question I have.
I read on the Carnival Chat that Carnival might be thinking of giving behind the scenes tours for a price of, perhaps, $90. Is this true?
I have faith that you will know the answer!
Again, I enjoy reading your thoughts and comments – keep up the good work!
Best regards,
Michelle
p.s. I am also English. Lived in landlocked Missouri for 23 years now.
Hi John!
All sorts of characters onboard. I didn’t realize how wild some of the guests can get at times.
Great pictures. The distance shot in drydock is beautiful.
I look forward to hearing the blog’s new catchphrase.
Take care and hi to Heidi/Kye!
David
RE: POSH.
Sorry John, that is just one of those silly legends that will not die, similar to tips stands for “To insure prompt service” or golf “gentlemen only, ladies forbidden”.
Check out: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/port%20out%20starboard%20home.html
John-
I have been reading this hilarious blog thingy for a while now and just love it! I am a hotel manager and can totally understand the guests you deal with. Like you, I do not mind hearing the negatives…it just depends on how they are presented. When people present things in a demanding tone (or a “just want something for nothing” tone) I just want to tune them out…alas it is our job to hear them all through and try to resolve their “problems” while trying to keep our cool. Keep up the great work…you are an inspiration for me on dealing with difficult (a.k.a. pain in the arse) guests!
Dear John Heald Esq,
I have the same complaint as the last chap from the UK. I would prefer it if I was the only American Male allowed onboard when I cruise and the rest of the passengers be Latvian women with the same Budweiser Beergoggles as the lady who found your Salt and Pepper Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiir so nice.
The logo of the Blogger Cruise should be simply “The Carnival Cruise Lines John Heald’s Blogger Cruise” the ships name “DREAM” and the date. Why make it about something its not?
They should put your picture back onto the website instead of the characture. Easier for the new Blogger’s who have not cruised with you to recognise you. Otherwise they may think that their Cruise Director actually is the Bobblehead.
I still think that we should have the different flagships of the various cruiseline for the blogger’s cruise. That way you can actually be allowed onboard the new Seabourn ship (At no cost to you of coarse) after all someone has to watch out for the Evil Krewe and the rest of us!
Break a leg at the Bedtime Story tonight and watch out for Mary.
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2some
John,
I think you need to tell Ruth and Al G. that you did indeed confirm their dinner reservations………… ON CELEBRITY!!!
Sorry I couldn’t resist….
Hola JOHN!!!
Speaking about the Carnival Victory my cousin is on board right now. I don’t know if you remember that I won over my sister of the seas and talked my cousin to go alone on a Carnival Victory cruise and that he was thrilled with the experience? Well that was in February and he is again this week on board (the Victory not the Adventure YES!) but this time he is with his mother, sister and niece
Please give muchos besitos a Kye from her puertorrican titi.
( all cruise virgins). I think they are having a wonderful time because my cousin is changing her status in facebook and I think she is having quite an adventure. Today she wrote something about zip lining in Barbados. uhhhhhh!! I will let you know when they come back.
Heidi I think it’s time for John to go back home but not before the August 15 cruise.
Sending a big huggo
Nanni
John,
Thank you for answering my question and for looking into the excursion for me. I am looking forward to learning what you find out and I appreciate you taking the time to check into it for me. It’s just another reason I love Carnival so much!
Even with this negative experience I am looking forward to my next cruise with Carnival! My first was definitely more than I ever expected.
Mike
Bloggers cruise slogan -
“Bloggers of the Sea’s – Warning this cruise contains nuts!”
Hi John!
I’ve cruised with you numerous times, so many I’ve lost count…most recently July 4th on the Freedom (best crew and cruise EVER) and one that comes to mind in the past is a Glory trip with “Willy Banger.” I still have the caper which lists him as the Cruise Director =) But anyway, you are hands down my favorite cruise director and the best in the industry (I don’t know if I can allow you to retire
). I love your blog, I read it every day and usually lurk but I felt compelled to leave a comment today.
Ruth G, your incessant rudeness is absolutely horrifying. Leaving comments day after day harassing John to do a favor which you honestly do not deserve…you do realize he doesn’t have to do ANY of the things that you so rudely requested? He is NOT your Personal Vacation Planner and he is NOT your Travel Agent. Let’s just say he’s a way better person than I am because I would have long ago told you where to stick your table for two. I’m sure your previous table mates weren’t the hideous ones, its quite obvious that YOU were and still are the problem. And you’re married? I feel sorry for your husband.
John, thank you for everything you’re doing here and please give my best to Heidi and the beautiful Kye! Happy cruising everyone!
Dear John,
As always, you put together another great and informative blog! Thank you for sharing!
I’m a little embarrassed to mention this, but my depth perception isn’t all that great when I look at pictures of the beautiful Carnival Dream online, and sometimes I have no idea what I’m looking at. Would you mind adding a brief description of what the pictures are, or at least the location where they were taken? Pretty please? You don’t have to caption each photo, just something like “here are pictures of the ship in dry dock, the atrium, and the staircase to the fabulous Cloud 9 spa” would be great.
Thanks!
Laura
JOHN – Please Reply
Quoting You: “I encourage anyone who feels that we can do something to make a negative into a positive to let us know onboard and not wait until you get home…I encourage anyone who sails with us and who sees something that we need to know about to let us know as soon as possible.”
John, on my recent trip I found myself with a situation that was well in my mind more than simply negative, and it was hard to get the issue in front of anyone beyond the front line pursers. Even after asking for either Chief Purser or Hotel Director (Would the average guest know to ask for these individuals?), it took persistence and days before the Chief Purser would speak with us. With the Chief Purser I hit a glass ceiling, and was told the only recourse was Miami. I’ve written a letter but the waiting is doing more to deepen the wounds. A few phone calls attempted really couldn’t route me to a department that really cared about anything other than pre-cruise issues. You are so correct, getting resolution as soon as possible is not only good customer service, but also keeps the wounds from festering. (Too bad you weren’t onboard, as I know this would have been resolved long before debarking).
My suggestion is that a process be established and published – much like the vacation guarantee, that if a guest needs help, but isn’t getting resolution, alternatives are presented. (ie. Call this number, or speak with this person). I think we realize that every situation can’t be resolved on board due to the limitations of being a floating vessel and sailing full, but that is the point that Carnival should step up and own up to the problem and reconcile accordingly.
By the way – I truly respect the cool you have kept with dear Ruth. WOW!
John, – its situations like the small breakfast situation you mentioned that really build my respect for you. Bravo!
In regards to the Color Competitions – I really like the alternative you mentioned- BRAVO Todd! On our recent sailing, it became a running joke as the points were announced – they would contradict the announcement from a short time before. So while not every ship, I’m 99% sure they were not kept at least on the last sailing we were on. THANK YOU that the announcements at dinner have excluded the score…if only we could curtail them more. We hear the cruise director updating us between dinner seatings of the shows etc, we don’t need to have a long announcement interrupt dinner from the matre’d.
i see old ruth is still at it. poor thing. i am sure whomever would have been seated with her will be ever so much better off if dear ruth has her private table. bless her heart. i sure am happy i am not her waiter!
see you sunday!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
John Please Reply
John, I think if you gave Lance the go ahead he could come up with another great “CLIMB THIS” or how about a shirt with a picture of Kye with “I (heart) John’s Little Thingy”. Put Kye’s picture in the heart.
BIG ED
Good thing that Brit isn’t cruising the Freedom August 1st! He’d have to contend with 114 members of an all american family. Love the Blog John!
Sorry about being attacked by the “belle”. Lucky you escaped unharmed..
Well…American’s can be loud and obnoxious, but we aren’t all that way.
Tomorrow is “Kyeday”…
John: (Please reply)
I guess you didn’t appreciate my constructive criticisms of the Legend I posted this past Sunday?
Please reply
John, I would like to know how far in advance do you plan the bloggers cruise. I would love to be on a ship with you as a CD, but I’m not made of money and can’t take off and cruise as many times a year as I would like, bugger. I’ll be planning my Sept 2010 cruise soon enough and wouldn’t mind a bloggers cruise on the Dream in September 2010…No pressure though…..Now if you made a Jan 2010 bloggers cruise for Jan 17 on the Glory, that would be awesome, cuz I’ll be on the ship headed to my own private (er HAL’s really) paradise in Half Moon Cay (HMC).
Thanks John!
“I’ve seen John’s Thingy and it’s perfect”
Re: Kye
That’s the first thing that popped into my mind. I will have to think about it more.
I wish I could go on a bloggers cruise. It makes me upset that I won’t be able too. I will have to wait for your 2010 schedule to see if we can sail with you. John…. think Inspiration or Fascination in September and (or) October 2010!
57 more days from today and we set sail!! (7-23-09)
Stef
John, (please reply) so glad to see that you are still saying “spiffing”My first cruise was with you 20 years ago this coming Feb.My daughter was with me and it was the first of many cruises for both us.To celebrate our 20 years of cruising and her birthday we are cruising on the Pride in Feb.Thanks for the memories!I’m sure you had alot to do with our love of cruising.I will never forget the mens nightgown conteste.That was the funniest thing I ever saw.I wish they still did that.My daughter and I will have a drink in your honor on our Feb Cruise.
My husband and I will be on the Dream November 15 of this year and although we won’t be part of the bloggers cruise,I hope to run into you somewhere on the ship.Keep those pics of the Dream coming,we love looking at them.
John, Please Reply
Are there DVD players in the cabins on the Dream?????
thanks,
Bill
John,
While my son and I were walking tonight, I had another thought about our Destiny cruise. It involves the entertainment. Naturally, every show in the Palladium was exceptional…..more than I could have imagined. However, I have to comment on one in particular and one of the performers in particular. The show I’m referring to is the one which had the comedic juggler who was great and then there was JR McCollom. JR was absolutely hilarious. His humor was something everyone could relate to, even a regular guy like me. It’s what he did at the end of his routine however, which I feel I need to comment on. He said he wanted to get serious for a minute then related a personal story involving the military. He then asked if there were any military members and/or veterans in the audience. Being a Vietnam vet myself, I stuck up my hand along with quite a few other folks. He then expressed his appreciation for our service, asked us to stand and encouraged the audience to show their appreciation with applause….which they did resoundingly. I can’t put into words how much that meant to me, being a HUGE supporter of our selfless all volunteer military, and it shows the quality of the entertainers which Carnival books. I feel JR McCollom should be booked for every cruise for which he is available. I found him after the show and thanked him for that and he gave ME a warm handshake and a sincere personal “thank you”. Just thought you should know.
Thanks,
Mike
John, Great blog as always. That was too funny about the Southern Belle, glad you escaped.
A new slogan for the Bloggers shirts?? My Cruise Critic Krew were going to have shirts (but I didn’t act in time
and we didn’t have them). But we thought the slogan was cute: “What happens on the ship, stays on John’s Blog Thingy FOREVER!”
Can’t wait for our weekly Kye fix!
Thanks for everything you do for us,
Diane from Texas
Hello John — (Please Reply)
I know you are busy but I am a long time reader of your blog and truely love reading it. Your daughter is absolutely adorable! My beautiful wife Jennifer of 3 years and our 2 year old daughter will be sailing on the August 15th sailing of the Glory booking # 21BS06. This will be my 7th Carnival cruise and Jennifer will be celebrating her 31st birthday while on board. I could use some suggestions to surprise her while on board. Any help you or could provide is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to get back to me.
Brandon in Buffalo, NY
Elaine, Ade’U, and Bonnie…here, here…I am in complete agreement w/you about Ruth and her demands.
John,
You’re a better person than I.
Lisa
Hey John,
We were on Freedom, July 12 – 18. (Our first cruise, but definately not our last.) I was one of the mom’s that wrote to you on the first morning show with the 4 boys that had graduated from high school. We were celebrating with a “Sr. Trip” and two of the guys birthdays! (My son turned 19 and his cabin mate turned 18. My son got a card and “gold plastic” trophy from you but the other young man didn’t.)
The cruise was awesome and you made it the best! We have all talked about how we want to cruise again and soon! We loved all the shows, especially yours! Just wanted you to know that we are now following your blog daily, since we have returned home! Thanks for the continued laughs.
In closing, Kye is beautiful and you are a lucky man to have two beautiful “girls” in your life!
Happy sailing,
Suzanne
John please reply,
I am leaving this Monday and was wondering if there is anyway I could reserve a table for 2 by the window for late seating, I know this is short notice and I apologize in advance, this cruise is for me and pop who usually try to cruise CCL once a year if able to (this is our 3rd)..thanks for everything you do and if unable to fulfill this request I thank you for taking the time to read this
Booking #: ——
thanks John and your daughter is really beautiful
thanks John
Bobbyfk
John, please reply. It’s JP from Holland again. A couple of weeks ago I asked about buying my friends a “Bon Voyage” gift cerficicate for the Steakhouse (Supper Club). You would pass it on to the people at Miami HQ. Have you heard anything from them?
Doei, JP
Gotta love us loud and obnoxious Americans
, we do know how to have fun on a Carnival Cruise. Maybe the Brit needs to book X to sail on. American’s are not allowed on that Cruise Line anymore.
Keep smiling John, you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
John:
The “complaints’ that you post are one of my favorite parts of your Blog.
It always assures a good laugh, but it also reminds us (as cruisers) of the hard work done “behind the desk”.
I don’t know why are you surprised that the Southern Belle made a pass at you. As a Southern Belle myself (albeit a sober one) … we recognize quality gentlemen.
LOVED the pictures of the Dream.
As for Ruth and her table “demands”…. if she persists emailing your private address…..I suggest you block her. They have “no cruise lists”…perhaps we should implement a “no blog list”!
Lance is definately ‘your man’ for the new Blogger’s design!!
As far as mystery gifts, how about a beach towel?
I have often wondered by Carnival has not used a beach towel as their Platinum logo item. It is something people use a lot.
Hugs to Kye and Heidi…..
and MUCHO THANK YOU to ALL the Stephanies!
Linda (Mom of your friend ~ still wanting to see Al on our Valor cruise in September~ DJ)
I second the call for a change to the banner of the blog. The characture is cute, but the real pictures convey you so much better.
Just my 2 cents.
John:
Just a suggestion :
I think this would make an excellent Milestone Reward Member perk.
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/cruises/item.aspx?type=blog&ak=68495190.blog
Linda (Mom of DJ)
Hey John!!!!!
I just wanted to tell you that as someone who was born in Charleston, South Carolina, I am not a ho!!! I’m a Southern Belle through and through. I can cut someone down into tiny pieces and have them asking me for more. It’s a talent we Southern Belles have perfected. It has something to do with that nasty frilly umbrella we are always twirling around and accidentally thumping on men’s heads as we walk by. But, when you say I’m sorry with that adorable Southern drawl, they just seem to melt and let you walk on by. I have thumped many a man just for fun and just to see if I can get away with it. It’s sort of a game. In all honesty, I am no longer that silly Southern Belle who played with men at her will. I’m now living in Tulsa Oklahoma where the best insult I can think of is to tell someone they act like a Dallas Cowboy or a Texas Longhorn. I mean really, the sun rises and sets over OU!!!!!! Now, anyone who doesn’t agree with my statement can personally meet the sharp end of my twirling frilly umbrella.
Also, I have a question that I know will get an answer from you. First, please imagine that I’m holding my umbrella under your chin in a very threatening manner…. where will be the homeport of the Magic? And you better say Galveston!!!!! Now, darlin’ would you like a mint julep?
Dear John,
I was just thinking that you were real lucky that the Southern Belle was from
Soooooouth Caaaaaarooooooooooliiiiiiiiiiiiina and not from Missouri. After all they are the “SHOW ME” state and you could of had a completely different problem on the Lido Deck. LOL
James & Nancy
The Cruzin2some
Hi John (reply appreciated)
You may recall that I wrote you a LONG message which you posted with a reply on your June 30th blog.
To recap quickly, I wrote about the conflicting information given out regarding the certificates that can be purchased on some ships and how based on the information given I did not purchase and now realize that I could have and should have.
My comment here was more of a request that maybe Carnival should train all of their PVP’s and sales people so that they all have the same info.
My second point was about purchasing early saver fares and a group cruise. I was annoyed that I am now booked in a group with an early saver rate that is not the true early saver rate. I have all of the restrictions of early saver but I did not receive the full benefit of a lesser rate. Based on the early saver rate posted at this time, the difference between that and my rate is about $50. The difference at the time I did the booking was about $70 – which would go a long way toward a spa treatment.
You were kind enough to respond and tell me that you had passed this information on and that I should be receiving a call from a Carnival representative and to let you know if I did not receive this call.
Well, I think they may have called about a week ago but did not leave a message. My call display showed a number with a 305 area code, which I think is a Florida #. So, that may have been them or it may not have, I’m not sure, but they did not call back again.
I’m hoping you can give them a little nudge again and ask that they call me and leave a message if I am not home. I will also give you my cell number at the end of this note. I know I don’t have to say this but, please do not publish the cell number
Thank-you very much! Hope all is going well on the Freedom and best wishes to you and Heidi and of course, the precious schat, Kye!
Annette
Yea John Heald Ladies Man
, John you should walk on stage and strut you’re stuff, Maybe they can play the ladies man song for you 
We love the blog you keep us both laughing so much which helps us so much. We had an idea for the new bloggers shirt how about, ” John Heald, Carnival’s Official Spokesmodel!!! ”
Big Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Hi John – me again!
I forgot to mention that I have been seriously considering the Cruise to Nowhere on the Dream out of NYC in November. I thought it would be a great way for me to get acquainted with the ship before my B2B in April. Also, NYC is much closer to me (I’m Canadian, eh) than the other departure ports. But, wow, they want a lot of money for a 2 night cruise!!! Then I read that you would be on that cruise and that has just upped the value of it
So, I’m still sitting on the fence, but maybe if all things work out, I can get the chance to cruise with you!
Take care,
Annette
LANCE,
Let’s see what you can do with this.
“I (heart) John’s Little Thingy”
In the heart a picture of Kye.
BIG ED
Hi John,
Loved your Miss Southern Belle story. Face it John, you are absolutely & totally irresistable.
Say Hi to Lenny H. for me. Besides you, he is one of my favorites.
As I mentioned a few days ago, my sister just returned from an Alaskan Cruise on the Star Princess. She had originally booked the Carnival Spirit but changed it because she wanted to stay in Seattle a few days. Anyway, she’s a Carnival Gold Cruiser, so this was her first Princess cruise. Here’s a few of her comments: The food in the dining room was good – steaks, crab legs, chicken and the service was excellent. The buffet lunch on Lido not that great, but they stuck with the hot dogs & burgers, and lunch in the dining room one day. Her biggest complaint was about the quality of the shows – only 1 production show that was performed twice, one or two comedians and that was it. She said the CD was almost invisible – his staff was around more than him (don’t know his name). What she did like was the Crew’s Talent Show. Sounds like something Carnival should look into.
I’ll probably see her over the weekend, so I’ll get some more thoughts.
Have a great weekend, and give my best to Heidi & Kye, & Jaime & all the Stephanies.
Hugs,
Carol (not from the South)
Hi John, (Please Reply)
I always knew you were a ladies man.
I have a question about the Anytime Dining and ordering wine.
Since there is no assigned seating with AT, if I order a bottle of wine the first night and do not drink it all will I have to take it with me and bring it the next night or will the waitstaff take it and keep it as they do if you are in assigned seating?
I love Berenger and just my luck Carnival serves it but I really don’t want to be lugging a bottle to and from dinner each night.
My Pride cruise is getting real close now and I am starting to think of all the little things.
Thanks for helping out with this and so many other things you do for us.
Princess Sallie of Big Ed’s Evil Krewe
)
(The one that is sad because she won’t be on the Dream in December.
Hello John,
We are sailing on the Carnival Dream B2B cruises this Nov 13 and the Bloggers cruise right after. We see on the CC site for the Nov. 13th cruise that the Official launch will be in New York on Nov. 12. We are coming from Canada and staying the night in NYC. Is there anyway that we could attend the Inauguration or part thereof of this great ship as we board the very next day? We are celebrating our 51st Anniversary and what a thrill that would be for us if this is at all possible. We are staying right across the street from the Dream on the 12th of Nov. Please let us know if there is any chance.
Take care and best wishes to your beautiful family.
Your friends and soon platinum friends,
Geri & Jack
John,
A southern Joke:
Two Southern Ladies meet on the street.
One says, “Did you see the new diamond ring that my husband got me”
The other says, “That’s nice.”
The first one says, “He also bought me a new Rolls Royce.”
The other says, “That’s nice.”
The first one says “My husband is taking me on a World Cruise this year.”
The other says, “That’s nice.”
The first says, “What has YOUR husband got you?”
The other replied, “He sent me to charm school, so that I can say ‘That’s nice”, when I really mean ‘Up Yours!’”
Now – I really think that Ruth and Al G. should be told “That’s Nice” the next time they request something without so much as a “Please” or “Thank You.” Manners are something that are NOT optional!
Mr. Derek
That is a great idea Big Ed, that would be a great shirt, with Kye’s picture right in the middle of the heart, Love it! Linda PS Now John/Stephanie, do your magic to make this happen!
Hi John,
Pleeeeeeese – no bulky or heavy Platinum gifts. My suitcase is almost always overstuffed and at the weight limit as it is.
Thanks,
bill
John, dont know if this is the proper place to ask you a question but here goes. I tried to send it 2 weeks ago, but dont know if you received it. We will be on the Glory on oct. 31, 2009. We are very big fans of anytime dining. As of now, it states that the glory will be implementing this in december. I have heard, (but I dont know from who), that some ships will be starting up the anytime diningbefore the scheduled date. Do you know if this is true? And, if it is, would the Glory have it by 10/31. Thanks very much for your answer, as I love reading your blog, and hope to sail with you in the near future. Please reply in your column if you can. mike ceglio
(JOHN – PLEASE RELPY)
Hi John,
Myself and my girlfriend are on the Liberty sailing on 28/8 in a Cat 11 – I understand our CD is Kevin Noonan.
It’s our first cruise and we are over from the UK and I plan on surprise proposing my girlfriend on the first elegant night before our 8:30pm dinner at Harry’s.
I wanted to find out if there is somewhere reasonably quiet where we can do this and where we can arrange for a Carnival Photographer and/or our Camcorder to be used to capture the moment of our Black Tie and Cocktail dress.
Understand you might get a lot of these requests but any help would be great.
Also what metal type checks would we go through before our VIP boarding as I dont want the ring or metal hinged box to set off any detectors and ruin the surprise – I have arranged to get it to Miami!
Thanks,
Mark
John
I can’t wait to finally see your shows…we will be on board this Sunday…my husband has even begun reading your blog thingy. Thanks for all of your quick replies to my anniversary questions…boy did these 30 years go by fast. Thanks again John we are really looking forward to our special trip !!
John
What ever happened to the honeymooners on the July 4th cruise? Did they ever get to Costa Rica?
Hey John,
Not to pick on the Brits, but we just got off another cruise line where there were maybe a total of 10 Americans onboard – the rest were Brits, with a few very obnoxious Chinese thrown in. Those Brits can be very loud & raucous themselves! My southern Georgian accent was mocked and I was told more than once that I had a “raunchy” laugh! Doug & I were both polite and didn’t say anything.
I do wish you would tell Ruth where to stick it – preferably where the sun doesn’t shine!
More pix of Kye please! She is so adorable – like her parents!
John,
Thank you for your reply above to my comment the other day in regards to the Carnival Colors. This definitely sounds like a better activity and will be a welcome change.
I have to vote with Linda (Mom of DJ) on the idea of throwing in the tour for Platinum guests!
Never hurts to make suggestions!
As always John, thank you for your hard work and dedication, and best wishes to Heidi and Kye.
If there is anything YOU ever need, please let me know!
Scott P. (earletheperl)
John,
Loved the new Colors contest as done by Todd on the Freedom. It was much more fun than the old “contest” Can’t wait to get on the Carnival Dream in January. And to see Todd again.
Dear John (Please reply),
There’s a rumor going around that you will be joining those of us cruising on the Holiday from November 2-7 for her final voyage as a Carnival Fun Ship. Could you please verify if this is true. Despite our Platinum Status, my wife and I have never been lucky enough to have you as our Cruise Director on any of our Fun Ship cruises as of yet. We’re hoping to see you on the Holiday. Thanks!
Randy Smith
Smitty681 (Cruise Talk Nickname)
Hi, I’ve sailed with Carnival close to 15 times (if not more), however, I used a different past guest time “back in the day” prior to marriage. My maiden name being Guimaraes. Please advise how to change my past guest status, as I believe I should be receiving some platinum benefits with all of those sailings with your company. I am a loyal guest to Carnival, but it seems that other cruiselines are offering better perks with past guests with 15 or so cruises, however, last time I inquired about this on the phone, I was told that they were not able to merge my cruises since I used my maiden name prior. Not sure if it’s time to start with a different company, but if I can’t get credited for all the cruises with carnival, I don’t believe it’ll be in my advantage to keep coming back. Please help a loyal, but confused past guest. I have a cruise booked for 11/1/09 on the Valor again.