I have a busy day today……..the last day of this six-day cruise. Here is my schedule:

6:45am – alarm sounds to start blogging
9:00am – 10:30am – Captain and senior officers meeting
10:30 am - Photo with a family whose 12-year-old is here as part of the Make a Wish foundation
11:00am – 11:30am – Debarkation talk
11:30am – 12:00pm – Q and A
12:00pm – 1:00pm – Production team Meeting (this is with the dance captain, musical director and all the entertainment technicians to discuss the shows etc)
1:30pm – Capers and schedule planning for my first eight-day western Caribbean run
2:30pm – Newlywed game
3:30pm – Wedding renewal
5:00pm – Afternoon show
8:30pm and 10:30pm – Host show

This of course does not take into consideration the phone calls and other distractions and it also does not take into consideration the time I will spend on the toilet either.
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Talent shows………..I love them………………..and……………………I hate them.

Guest: Mrs—————–Ref: 840006851A
Cabin: **** Booking#: ****** Added-Changed: 07/14/09 – 07/14/09

C – 8445 – DAUGHTER TOO YOUNG FOR TALENT SHOW
Guest came to desk stating that her daughter had waited to take part in the talent show but was told that as she is 12 she is too young for the show. Guest demanded that she be allowed to sing saying that she was very good and she must be in it. Mrs_______demanded to speak to Cruise Director. GSA called but was told by ACD Jaime that he was on TV doing a live show. Guest asked for pen and paper and wrote the attached letter.

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I am not sure if you have ever seen the World’s Strongest Man event on ESPN ……have you? ………..well…you should………it’s one of the greatest sporting spectacles……….in the world.

Now ……….watching Usain Bolt run 100 meters in 9.22 seconds or the Dwyane Wade explode down the court to dunk the basketball is very enjoyable………but if you haven’t watched the World’s Strongest Man……..you have missed something very special.
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These days I never complain in restaurants. Because when things go horribly wrong for me at the table, I do not have to express my disappointment, rage and frustration on site, I can write about it about it on the blog thingy……..which helps…….as was the case for those who remember the experience that myself, Stephanie and some of the bloggers had in New Orleans.

Some people though have no problem in complaining.
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Just before I get into the nitty gritty of today’s blog thingy I want to talk to you about postcards………yes………postcards……..now don’t fall asleep and scroll down to the next bit because I have something very interesting to tell you. At Carnival we seeing are more postcards being mailed through the guest services desk than we have for many years. I find this brilliant news, obsessed as I am with the tragic demise of “proper”………. as in pen-and-ink, correspondence.

Most of the people writing out the postcards could e-mail instead, or send a bloody text on their sophisticated Eye Phone thingies phones but no…… they choose the slightly cheesy postcard instead.
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Good morning everyone. Here is a Sunday Dear John letter from Jaime the world’s best Assistant Cruise Director called Jaime.

I will be back with a very full and busy blog tomorrow
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“John……..are you an alcoholic?” That’s the first question people ask you. Then the next thing is, ‘Oh, are you religious?’

These are the usual opening statements I get when I tell people I don’t drink any alcohol. Tell someone you don’t smoke and that’s impressive…….tell them you don’t drink………and you’re a weirdo.

Such was the case last night when I sat with a group of guests in the cigar bar when I hosted “Cigars with John” and as all 40-plus of us sat together discussing life and good cigars the subject of what drink best complements a Cohiba came up………some said Scotch, others cognac while many were enjoying the mojitos we were serving………..me …………I said “Diet Coke.” ……………………..and instantly………….I was a friend of Bill W.

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OK bloggers. Let’s start this morning with a test. Let’s list everything we can think of about Panama.

Hats…………. obviously. A canal, of course. General Noriega … ummm … more hats. Ah, the joy of going to a country most people know hardly anything about. Which is what I want to convince you to do.

Panama might be off the radar, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a brilliant place to take a cruise to. It has all the unspoiled beaches, wild countryside, exotic fauna and historical richness you could ever wish for, and, as far as risky places to go, it’s a big softy of a country— no tinpot regimes, no gun-toting militia, no famines or plagues and the water won’t give you the shits like Paris.

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Good morning from Costa Rica and as me and my underpants sit here writing to you the guests are heading ashore ready to go communing with nature . They will be on tour looking for monkeys and sloths, exotic birds, frogs and turtles………..in France that would be considered a buffet.

Pre-blog days I took one of the most popular tours here which goes to the rain forest to experience nature up close and personal. I remember last time I was here I took the amazing Canopy Tour where the guide told me that there are186 species of birds here. It’s where a group of male bird watchers would go for a stag weekend.

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Good morning……………and before we start today’s blog thingy I suggest you reach for a dictionary.
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